Handsome - Paul Giamatti asks about scary movies

Episode Date: June 11, 2024

Award-winning actor Paul Giamatti asks about scary movies, plus Tig, Fortune, and Mae talk revealing showers, satisfied home chefs, and getting waxed!Handsome is hosted by Tig Notaro, Mae Martin, and Fortune FeimsterFollow us on social media: @handsomepodMerch: handsomepod.comWatch on youtube: youtube.com/@handsomepodEmail the show: [e-mail] Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Cheers. Hello there, it is your good friend, Tig Notaro here on the Handsome Podcast. And I'm joined by, this might surprise you today, but I am joined by my co-host. I'm Fortune Feimster. And I'm Mae Martin. I'm feeling pretty handsome in my co-host. I'm Fortune Feimster. And I'm May Martin. I'm feeling pretty handsome in my tie-dye.

Usually I wear a black or a white t-shirt. This is very abnormal. I'm wearing a tie-dye t-shirt. May, my sincerest apologies. I've never noticed you only wear a white or a black t-shirt. Is that insane? It's my whole brand. Oh my God. I truly, I apologize.

I really did not know. Well, I mean, sometimes I'll throw in like a muted gray, but no color. And then this I tied myself yesterday. It's gorgeous. How did that happen? Y'all were just like, let's do a fun activity. Well, as I try to ingratiate myself

into the lives of this family I now live with, I kind of come up with ideas that might sort of endear me to them. Make people keep you around. Exactly, make the kids like me. So we got a bunch of kids. And May's fun. Yeah, May's, I never seen tie dye.

And then, I don't know, now I'm like, I might stop doing comedy and just become a tie-dyer. It was so fun. Wow. I mean, it's good. It's not that good though. Oh, let's be honest. Yeah, we're not ready for you to sell them yet.

Yeah. To be honest. I don't know if that's a smart leap right now, little cowboy. It's kind of nauseating, if I'm being honest. It looks like someone puked on me. It's all, and then I woke up this morning and I got dye all over my hands

and I thought I had frostbite or something. I forgot about the tie dye and I was like, well. To have frostbite. Frostbite. I got frostbite in the night. What do you keep your AC at? I mean, I like a chilled house, but yeah, my hands, I don't know how long this will last. They're covered in like black and green dye. It's disgusting. Have you guys tie-dyed before?

I have, but it's been a really long time. How long? Like probably early 20s. 1920s? Which I know I'm... 1920s. 1920s? Which I know I'm. 1920s, yeah. 1920s. During the prohibition era. When we were just in Mississippi, one of my cousin's kids was talking to my kid

about something and she said, I don't know, my mom would probably know, she's from the 1880s. No. It is crazy to think about prohibition. Like, can you imagine? Like having to drink in secret? Yeah, like how would the world today respond?

I mean, I guess the pandemic was kind of like, oh, here's a massive change to how we live. Everyone stay inside and we're all like, all right, I guess. Everyone did kind of become at home drunks. Yes, that's true, yeah. Everyone was like, pop open that bottle of wine. All right, not you.

Tig was making nut milk, come on. Making dyke dust. Dyke dust and nut milk. Tig, have you tie dyed before? Gosh, I believe so. And I think that was in the 80s. But. 1880s.

In the 1880s. And my son Max is very into tie-dy. Oh cool. He just thinks it is the most gorgeous looking piece of fashion out there. The most gorgeous. I think it's fine. I think it's fine. You're not a dead head.

No. It's only because I made it myself that I like it, I think. Like if I saw this in a store, there's no way I'd be like drop everything. Well, that's similar to like when you have kids, when you try to get kids to try new food, the best thing you can do is have them grow the food and prepare it.

And so it worked for you similarly with you made your own outfit. Oh, that's a cool idea with making, yeah, if they're involved in preparing it. Anytime I prepare food and it doesn't taste great, I'm like, what a waste. I'd waste time. I wish I could get that hour and a half of my life back

and just order DoorDash. Well, as I always say, whether you eat food or you don't, it always goes to waste. Hey, that's good. Thank you. Thank you. Good one. You do have this Rolodex of very good bits or lines

that come up regularly in situations that I do wish I had that. Just anytime anyone would want to. Well, you can use them. Yeah, okay. Just give me credit, give me credit. Start writing them down. Yeah.

Stephanie is, I always give her a hard time because she is the cook that is not hard on herself and I always do the character imitating her. Like, you know how when people make food, they always have some sort of criticism about their own dish where they're like, oh, I could have had a little more salt or, oh, I overcooked it a tad.

Next time I'll, not Stephanie, anything that comes out of the oven, she's like, this is delicious. Come taste this. It's unbelievable. And do you usually agree? I do, there's some times where I think she could take the enthusiasm down just a notch because maybe it had

a little extra salt or something, but she is, yeah, no, she does a knockup job in the kitchen. She also, there are some qualities of self-deprecation and things that we all have, or like, I don't know, I just remember one time, we were about to do an improv show or something, and Stephanie was, I was like, I don't know, I woke up feeling kind of like down or something.

She was like, I usually't know, I woke up feeling kind of like down or something, she was like, I usually just wake up feeling thrilled. And I was like, whoa. I was like, cool man. That was great. I wake up pretty happy, I would say. Do you really? Yeah.

Wow. I wake up pretty like, yeah, glass half full. Yeah, that's nice. That's my natural state. I wake up pretty exhausted. Do you? You're just like, another. Sometimes my hip hurts.

Your hip does, Fortune? Yeah. Oh, okay. Yeah, that started in like the last year or something where I was like, oh God, I'm getting old, my hip's hurting. Did you go get it checked out? No.

You should. Yeah. You should go to this Mexican cranial sacral therapist I went to. He'll put on rubber gloves, get in there. I can't do it, I can't do it. Or just start with a regular doctor, find out what it is.

But yeah, I don't sleep very well. I think it's my, well, just menopause stuff. Have you tried a weighted blanket? Yes, I've tried a weighted blanket. I have tried a weighted blanket. I've tried about everything. I have a little concoction that I do and take before bed and it gets me about six hours if I'm lucky.

Okay. Yeah. Oh man, I love a good eight hour sleep. I mean, I would love that too. I'm not like clinging to my six hours here. I had a little restful weekend. Last weekend, Jackson and I went to Palm Springs and I did some treading water in honor of Tig.

Both days at the hotel, just treading water, trying to not make eye contact with guests. Yes. Oops, I think we've already talked about this. Well, we didn't talk about one part of it. Oh, okay. That's why I brought this up. Okay, all right.

Did I tell you that the shower to my room like had a totally like just the whole wall's glass on one part of the shower and they just had one square section of frost for you to not like that's supposed to like block your body from view. Block your holes. Now this all is good in theory if you're in a room that's like there's another outside part with that's totally covered. But I didn't realize how exposed our bathroom was.

Wait, it's like exposed to the outside or like inside? Yeah, to the outside. What? So they put us in a room where there's like a walkway. Like it looks like you're in a corner by yourself. You're like, oh, well we're in a corner. It should be fine. But there's a walkway there.

And I didn't realize that that walkway is the way that- Was full of handsome fans. That's right. The walkway is how way that... It was full of handsome fans. That's right. The walkway is how you access all these other bungalows. And it's right across from where the workers station or whatever it is. So the path is like a constant movement of people. So there's like ficus on this one side,

but there's this whole right side that's totally open and the fence is really low. So anyone walking by looks literally right into our shower. And Jackson's like, well, this seems like a problem. I'm like, ah, who cares? No one's going to see anything. And I kind of like brush it off. So when I go to shower, I'm showering

and I kind of feel like a figure outside the window. And I'm like, oh no, is there someone, is there someone outside the window? So I kind of back up thinking that I'm hiding, but there's a gap between the glass and the frost in the corner. So I basically just moved to where I'm more exposed. And I look over and there's a camera filming me.

No. And I'm like, oh my God. And I duck and I peek up. I realized it's Jack's filming me to prove to me how exposed the shower was. Once again, Jax is on it. That is so funny. I start laughing and I was like, oh my God, stop it, erase it, erase it. And then she shows me the footage and I was like, oh, actually that's really funny.

And then I ended up posting it. You've posted it? Posted it, because you really couldn't see my bits. But then I tried to bend down and you could totally see my buttholes. Oh my God. Fortune. And also here's my question.

When you were in this shower, were you cleaning your undercarriage as we discussed in the first episode of this handsome? Oh, was it grandma's problem area? Yeah, were you scrubbing grandma's problem area? Thank God I was not touching my cooter. I'm touching my cooter. I'm just imagining like the comedy duck, like the.

I went down, yeah, and then my butt was totally exposed, so I put a happy face on where my butt hole is. Wait, so you actually could see the hole? You could see, yeah. I bent down, I bent down thinking I was ducking, but I was just bending down under the frost. But that exposed your b-hole? My b-hole, yeah.

Not just the crack in your bottom there. It was squatting and splayed. I've been down. What happens when you bend down when you drop the saddle? I have not, I haven't looked at your body that closely, nor have I seen it without a dress on. Did you complain to the hotel? Or is it like a sexy hotel where they're like?

The hotel complained about you. How dare you? Who doesn't want to see this bee hole? No, well, a shorter, a taller person or a shorter person would have been in trouble. Cause the truly the frosted part of this glass was not a big radius. Could we talk about the word? You use the word ficus. It was a word I've never heard. I just you said it before. Yeah. What is ficus?

Oh, it's a it's a large plant that grows and that's what, it's the plant that a lot of these houses in LA have that where it serves as like a gate almost. Like a privacy wall sort of thing. Okay. And a gate, a wall. But yeah, it grows very tall. So a lot of people plant them for privacy. To hide their grandma's problem area, no doubt.

That could have been the beginning of like kind of a cool role play where Jax is like an obsessed stalker filming you. Classic Meg, classic Meg. How do we turn this into a sex situation? You're already nude, you know, you're a G-man. I know, I was nude. Your b-hole is out for everyone to see.

You in part would have really loved this shower for sure. You could have had a whole exhibition for everyone. People probably did see me showering because when Jack's filmed it, there was a guy who had already walked ahead of her. So I'm sure that my goodies had been exposed to people and I'm just showering away and I'm kind of looking up. that my goodies had been exposed to people and I'm just showering away and I'm kind of looking up.

But I will say this, she did capture a couple photos and my gams were pretty sexy. You got nice gams. You posted a video of you on like an exercise bike or something and your legs are like very muscular, beautiful legs. Thank you. It is the most fit part of my body.

The only fit part of my body. And my gams were looking pretty handsome in those shower photos, so. Now what would you have done if you posted a picture of yourself in this shower, and then somebody tagged you and said, oh, I have actually a better angle. And then, and then-

I thought about that when I posted, I wrote somebody and I said, there's not a technology where people can like take a video with a frosted glass and somehow still see in that glass, can't they? Like unfrost it? Can they unfrost this glass? Because, you know, technologies really come a long way.

What sort of weird, weird perverted nerd is like, I'm gonna come up with an app that you can use if somebody posts a picture and there's frosted glass, you can remove the frosting from the glass. Ah, finally, our first customer, Fortune Feimster. That's right. If you're a homeowner who doesn't want to deal with switching your home insurance, we understand switching can feel like a lot of work.

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Savings vary. Hinge is the dating app designed to be deleted and Hinge has LGBTQIA plus prompts designed to help queer daters better connect based on similarities, interest and compatibility. Plus Hinge collaborated with GLAAD to create these prompts. I feel like you can think of it like a little creative writing exercise. And some of the prompts are so, one of them is it feels affirming when others, and then you fill in the rest.

Yeah. I feel like it's affirming for me when people see I'm a little cowboy, you know, and they recognize. That's right. Yeah. Yeah. people see I'm a little cowboy, you know, and they recognize. That's right. Yeah, yeah. Or like my chosen family is the best at, I would say, in horror escape rooms. Oh, that's a good one. All my friends are sort of part of a very competitive team. It really allows you to share who you are and what kind of community you share yourself with.

Totally. So download Hinge and show off your full self using their LGBTQIA plus prompts today, then find someone worth deleting the app for. I'm just always scared that like in Airbnb's and stuff, I'm scared there's hidden cam like in that ficus. I'm like, was there a camera in those sleeves? You know, like they would have gotten a whole lot of handsome over here. Because I was just letting it all hang out. God fortune.

I mean, I don't know what I'm what was hanging out. Everything you're showering, you know, you're letting it multiple tutors, boobies, multiple boobies, grandma's problem area. Was hanging out? Grandma's problem area was hanging out. It was a 21 and up hotel. I think that's why they had sexy showers. Okay, yeah, it's all coming together now.

This is a sexy hotel. It's a sexy hotel. They're like, it's all coming together now. This is a sexy hotel. It's 21 and up. It's a sexy hotel. They're like, people want to have glass showers. Did that shower get you and Jacks like revved up and banging the whole weekend? No, fortunately no. It made us want to shower in the dark at night.

In bathing suits. Now, but for real, May would have had a field day in the shower at night. In bathing suits. In your lesbian bathing suit. May would have had a field day in the shower for sure. Yeah, I would have role played like someone coming with towels and one of yous in the shower is not answering the door. So you have to go around and look through the window. Oh, okay. I don't know.

I mean, it seems like you have a mind for it, Forge. I don't know. I mean, it seems like you have a mind for it, for each other. I don't know why. I need to really put this into motion with Jack. What would you have role played? Oh, I would have been like, I would have been like, can you deliver like pad Thai or something?

Wait, while you're in the shower? Yeah, I want to have all foods. Can I get some spring rolls and pad Thai? You're in the shower? Yeah, I'm one of the most foods. Can I get some spring rolls and Pad Thai? Oh, you deliver it and then I'm in the shower. Oops, my bee hole's out. My bee hole's out. Is that Pad Thai? I would have done like maybe Parv's like a sort of divorcee

and she's just on a weekend away by herself like maybe Parv's like a sort of divorcee and she's just on a weekend away by herself and then I'm the pool boy and she keeps showering on purpose so I can see her and then I get a pad tie and I bring it around. Yes. You're like, ma'am, did you order room service? Yeah. And she's like, no, I was just showering.

Come in, could you fix my ficus? It's a little droopy. Fix my ficus. The old droopy ficus routine, huh? Little ficus. You know how they say there's like everything you can imagine of someone's made porn of it? I wonder if there's some, if you type ficus porn,

if there's some, you know, like if you try this ever, like because my friend said that, everything you can imagine has been done. And so I said pterodactyl porn and it's out there. Pterodactyl porn? Pterodactyl? It's out there. Yeah, we found why.

What does that mean? Yeah, like dinosaurs? Do you really wanna know? Yeah. I mean, why not? It's a sexy episode so far. So far it really is. It's a bunch of guys in pterodactyl.

Oh, oh. Sorry, May, go ahead. Bunch of guys, pterodactyl costumes, long beaks, big wings, skeletal frames, skinny guys, and then a lady, and she's sort of been transported back to Dinosaur Times, and then they're all kind of pecking at her. Oh my gosh, they're using that long. That is so hot.

Whatever it's called, beak for other purposes. It takes like, I found my kink. My kink. Oh my gosh. Pecking at me. Dino born. Yeah. I just want someone to peck at me. Why won't anyone peck at me?

I don't know why no one's pecking at me. I gotta flash my bee hole. I gotta flash my bee hole. peck at me. Why won't anyone peck at me? I don't know why no one's pecking at me. I gotta flash my B-hole. I wonder if there's a community of people online who found each other because they're into peck play. If you can think it up, it's already happening. That's what I'm saying, that unfrosting that glass

in videos, I'm worried. But like all joking aside, showers are, that's a very vulnerable place. Like I don't know, psycho horror movies, you're always getting out of a shower. You're so vulnerable in there. And I always get, I always make sure I lock the door. I do get pretty spooked in a shower.

Oh, you lock your bathroom door for real? Yeah, cause otherwise I'll think I heard a noise or something or yeah. How do you feel about people in the shower with you, but not a murderer? Wait, people like the general public or somebody you've invited? I don't know who I'm asing to.

Well like. I don't know who's popping out of the ficus and coming in my shower. We talked about how like take you and Stephanie are good in a bath together. Like I, and I get stressed. Like if to me a shower is kind talked about how like, take you and Stephanie are good in a bath together. Like I, and I get stressed. Like if to me a shower is kind of a private place, I like to do, I gotta shave,

I gotta do whatever I'm doing in there, you know? Yeah. I don't, when my hair is wet, it looks very flat on my head and you know, I'm always touching it because I want like volume. So when it gets flat and wet, I'm like. You don't like it when you wanna see it in that state. And what are you shaving? You shaving your head, your mustache, So when it gets flat and wet, I'm like. You don't like it when we wanna see you in that state.

And what do you shave in? You shave in your head, your mustache, your b-hole, like what, your legs? I shave my head every morning bald and then it grows back by nighttime. No, I don't know, my relationship with shaving's like, I gotta figure it out. I shave my calves, like my legs,

but then my mom always told me, don't shave your thighs. And so the result is like, I'm wearing like fur shorts, but I have these like baby smooth calves. Why am I talking about this? Well, why is your mom's theory behind that? Cause it gets hairier? Yeah, she said it, once you shave your thighs, it's gonna grow back thicker and stronger than ever.

And I just have never waxed. Like everyone's like, you got to wax. And I've never I'm just too scared. And I've not waxed either. You haven't? OK, actually, I did go in once long time ago, pre-jacks for the veg, the Brazilian thing. The Brazilian. I felt like it's called Cooder. for the veg, the Brazilian thing. The Brazilian.

The fortune is called Cooter. I felt like Steve Carell in the 40 year old version going, ah, Kelly Clarkson. It hurts. It's really painful, I hear it, right? And that was the first and last time because I was like, yeah, this is not worth it. And what sent you in that one time where you were like,

this is a mess, it's gotta go. I think social pressure. Yeah. You know, like this is what you're supposed to do. And then I was like, what am I doing? Who is this for? I would love to see the footage. I would love to follow you from the moment

you had the thought to seeing you make the appointment, driving down there, putting money in your meter. It's so stupid. Going in there and being like, oh yeah, I gotta get my cooter waxed because of social pressure. You say that to the woman. And the questionnaire, where did you hear about us and why are you here? Social pressure.

I click on the other box, social pressure. Yeah, it's not great. You pop your legs up and like you're having a baby and they're putting all this wax everywhere. Even on the table, I'm like, why am I doing this? And were they lifting your legs like your little baby? All the things and they don't care. They do this all the time. So they're getting in all the nooks.

And crannies. I think they'll probably get in your cranny too. It's so painful. And like, God bless all these women who do this on the reg. What would you, what? Well, you're saying women go in and do that when they have a little string? Women do that on the regular, get these bikini waxes.

Oh, I thought you said something else, nevermind. I think I accidentally called her Brazilian. Is that the butthole? No, I thought you said rag. You said on the rag. On the rag. Oh, you thought, oh. I was like, that seems.

I was like, what string are you talking about? That seems like. A disaster. Yeah, it seems a little vulnerable. That's not the time to go. Yeah, it seems a little vulnerable. That's not the time to go. Yeah, move the appointment. So Tig, you never had one of those? No, sir.

Okay. No, sir. That is, that's not. Thomas, put it on the list. I guess I'm the daintiest of the handsoms. So maybe you have. I mean, this was like 15 years ago. Okay, all right. And so may you have it done?

No, I've never had it. I, it's terrifying to me, but I don't know. I'm like, I shaved a lot. I don't know. I'm confused about it all. I think it's more of a straight woman thing. Well, is that when you thought you were straight 15 years ago?

Probably. No, I was like, this'll get me a boyfriend. That might've been, I came out in 2005. So it would've been 2000. Yeah, maybe this was 2004 when I really thought I was gonna reel in a handsome fella. He's gonna wanna tighten right down there. I don't know. That was the only thing that was missing.

Now, May, I wanna switch to your calves. You shave your calves, meaning only the back of your leg? No, like the whole, from the knee down, I'm shaving. Oh, okay. Yeah, because I mean- I also shave there. I think I've talked to you about, like, when I was working with autistic kids and there was this nonverbal kid under,

he was about four and the first words he ever said was he put his hand up my skinny jeans and he felt my calves and he went, spiky chickens. That's right. Those are his first words. So like. Spiky chickens, that's right. I think I got a complex about it

and now I make sure those chickens are not spiky. Spicy chickens. So May, have you ever gone fully hairy leg? Maybe in my teens. Yeah, I mean, look, maybe one day, I don't know. My like gender identity is a weird and complex thing. I see myself, I'm like a hairl like a hairless twink, right? I like my shaved calf.

Yeah, I have, my legs are all shaved and what have you. Oh, they are. I'm a hairless twunk. I love that. Or wait, I'm a hairless twinkie. I'm a hairless Twinkie, it's just a big Twinkie and little gams. Not just little gams,

but perfectly sculpted gams apparently. Well, I have a weird thing to add, but I don't. No, add it. I just was listening to a true crime podcast because I was thinking about if people get turned on by waxing and it reminded me of this pod I was listening to by this woman who her thing was pretending to be pregnant and then getting doulas like to come over and spend,

she'd pretend she was in labor, she'd develop a relationship with a doula and they'd come over because they don't actually look down there. They're just like, so she'd be sitting having fake contractions. They'd be sitting there breathing with her, talking her through it.

And like, eventually all these doula- Could they not see her stomach? She had fake stuff. She was really, this is in Canada. And then all these doulas like on the message boards started to be like, I had this weird experience with this lady. I don't know if she was pregnant,

and then they all were like, oh my God, that happened to me too. I spent like- What do you mean fake stuff? I mean, I am no doctor or doula, if you must know, and I would feel like- You're not? May, I'm not, okay? I was gonna have you be my doula.

Well, I would doula it, apology. I don't know, I think she had like a fake belly and she was just kind of, she'd be rolling around in the dark having these contractions and they'd sort of be stroking her back and getting her water and yeah, but she would never actually. She was faking it, she'd never actually have the baby.

She'd always engineer some crisis where like, yeah. And it was just like, oh, you know what? I'm actually exhausted. Can we pick this back up tomorrow? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Come back to it. Yes. No, nevermind.

And they would all be like, I think you need to go to the hospital now. She'd be like, not today. And then, yeah. And then they'd leave and then she'd like change her phone number now. She'd be like, not today. And then, yeah, and then they'd leave and then she'd like change her phone number. So they'd be like, wow. They'd be like, what was all that about? That's weird.

And what was that for? I think she was getting off on a, and then the craziest one was this one of the doulas said, I knew something was weird because at one point her mom came in and her mom was like, this, like you need to get this doula to leave or something. And the girl was like, mom, I'm in the middle of something. Mom?

So like the mom knew. Get out. The mom knew she was doing this and was kind of like, oh boy, she's at it again. They're like, all right, Janice, you gotta get your equipment outta here. I know. And don't come back.

Janice, can you get your blanket and your pillow and get outta here? That's all she brings. Just brings a blanket and a pillow. Just a pillow and a blanket. And a big little cooler. I'm here to catch, because they're just catching babies, right? I don't, again, I'm not, little cooler. I'm here to catch, because they're just catching babies, right?

I don't, I think they're like emotional support. I got you. Catching this baby. I'm picturing you wearing baseball gloves. I love seeing all of the excitement around the WNBA. It's about time women's sports is at a whole new level thanks to amazing players. Obviously we've seen so much excitement around new players in the league like Caitlin Clark. I'm loving seeing the videos of all these teams selling out their games. It's such a cool time for women's basketball

and women's sports in general. That's why we're excited to tell you about Queens of the Court, a WNBA podcast. Every week WNBA legends Cheryl Swoops and sports journalist Jordan Robinson deliver on parallel league access. They got interviews as star players, team analysis, deep dives on league news. Queens of the Court is the ultimate companion to the hottest WNBA season in history. Oh, and they don't shy away from hot takes either.

Follow and listen to Queens of the Court, a WNBA podcast on the free Odyssey app or wherever you get your podcasts. It's the same dilemma every year. What do you get the man who already has everything slash says he doesn't need or want anything? Put down the slippers and step away from the ties and get your dad something unexpected and or a digital frame. I got one of these for my dad because I living in a different city to him, we miss each other and I can't just keep getting him stuff to make puppets.

You find out they have one interest and you just get them stuff to do with that every year. And so I really am glad that I was able to branch out and now he's got a frame on his desk with pictures of me. Aura frames are beautiful Wi-Fi connected digital frames that allow you to share and display unlimited photos. It's super easy to upload and share photos via the Aura app. And if you're given an Aura as a gift, you can even personalize the frame with preloaded photos and memories. Right now, Aura has a great deal for Father's Day. Listeners can

save on the perfect gift by visiting AuraFrames.com to get $30 off on their best-selling frame. That's AuraFrames.com. This deal ends June 18th, so don't wait. Use code handsome at checkout to save. Terms and conditions apply. Well, I'm sort of glad I brought it up. I think it was worth it.

It was worth it, Mae. It absolutely was. And now I feel like we should hear our question. I'm excited about this. I'm really excited about this. Today's questioner is an Emmy and Golden Globe winning actor known for his roles in shows like John Adams and Billions,

as well as of course movies like Sideways and The Holdovers. Today we have Paul Giamatti, the Paul Giamatti asking a question. Ooh. Hi, handsome. This is Paul Giamatti speaking. What a privilege and an honor to be able to appear on your fine program. I'm a great admirer of each and every one of you. Each and every one of you is uniquely gifted and a total delight. I have a question, yes indeed, that I'm going to pose you. And it's a simple one.

Do you like horror movies? Scary movies? That kind of thing. Are you a fan? Are you just like, no, thank you. I'd rather not get the crap scared out of me. And if you are, what movie made a particular impact on you? I'm intrigued to hear the exciting answers. Once again, Paul Giamatti speaking. I'm intrigued by that voice. Oh my God, Paul's voice is just like so distinct. It's like Morgan Freeman, you know, you hear that voice,

you're like, that's Morgan. Same with Paul Giamatti, you hear his voice and there's no denying it. Paul Giamatti. Powerful, it's a powerful voice. That was really amazing because it dips into that lower register. It's like it's sort of that beautiful, yeah. It's built for radio.

It's built for podcast questioning. Geez Louise. And it's, we've seen him in a thousand things, but like to just hear his voice like that, it was like, whoa. Almost went and got another wax, if you know what I mean. I do, I do know what you mean.

I almost called a doula, if you know what you mean. I almost called a doula if you know what I mean. I do. Call the doula, Paul's doing things to me. Yeah, but hearing that voice, it's like he had to become an actor. Like you can't have that voice and not be an amazing actor. That's an incredible. One of the best actors to.

You can't go around delivering mail. Yeah. You know? The best actors. He's one of the best actors. Yeah, you can't go around delivering mail. Yeah, oh, good morning. The best actors. He had to do the whole Holdovers movie with like a wonky eye. What? Mm-hmm. In the Holdovers, he had like a eye that's like a bad eye.

He had to act like that for a whole movie. Well, he's an actor. Had like a one eye, like pointing at the wall the whole time? That's not easy. Was it prosthetics or he just did that with his eye? I don't know, truth be told. My point is he's freaking one of the best actors in the world.

Yeah, I'm curious about if you guys like horror movies. I will out of the gate tell you right now, hard pass. Hard pass for Tig, hard pass. Hard pass for Tig. Hard pass. I thought that might be the case. I don't like being scared or uncomfortable with that kind of vibe at all. At all.

No, thank you. You don't particularly like movies at the best of times. You don't watch a lot of movies. So why would you choose one that's unpleasant for you? Well, I mean, I like unpleasant, sad, deep, dark, depressing stuff. That I will run and get in line for any old day. But somebody peeking around a corner

or jumping out or biting someone or hurting somebody, I'm like, no, no. Peeking around a corner. Peeking around a corner and biting. Biting someone. Sounds like, what a scary movie. Ah! Who's telling that alleyway? Rararara. Who's peeking around the corner, the sequel?

But yeah, it just is not a, I like to, I like to really feel something deeply. Like I'm not very much into comedy and people always laugh and roll their eyes. They're like, but you're in comedy. How is that possible? I know, I'm just, it's not my thing. I like dark, dark, heavy, depressing. All of us strangers, Paul Mezcal and Andrew Scott, I feel like you'd like that because it's a drama

and you are weeping by the end. And it's a drama and you are weeping by the end. It's like- Okay, if people will send in their suggestions for like the deepest, darkest, most depressing films, that is my speed. But like as a kid, probably the last thing I watched was something like Jaws.

Okay. Oh, interesting. And that of course made it hard for me to smile. I love a scary movie, but I, yeah, I love horror movies. Cause I, you know, I like an escape room. Like I like an adrenaline boost. Like I wish the horror movie was happening in my house, you know, and that I was in it.

You want the chaos right there. I just want the high, I guess. But is there a certain type of scary movie you're into? Yeah, I don't like things that are totally bleak for the sake of it, or I don't like torture. I don't like very realistic gore. I like when there's a sense of fun about the murder, like in Scream or-

Like a campy kind of thing. I like a campy thing. I actually can't handle Texas Chainsaw Massacre or one of those, but I like going with a group of friends to the movie theater and it's like an event and you're gonna be screaming and eating popcorn. I'd rather just eat the popcorn. Yeah, with a little bit of dike dust sprinkled on top.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I love the Scream movies. The one movie that I would put in my top 10 movies but I can never watch again is The Shining. I think it's so disturbing. Oh, yeah. But it stayed with me in my soul and my subconscious. Like to have someone you love,

your father become a homicidal like that slowly, it's so disturbing, but I did love it. During spring break, we were driving in the car with Max and Finn and they were asking about the Shining. No way. Because a friend had mentioned it at school. So they kept- Because of twins? Maybe, I don't know, but I haven't seen the Shining.

Oh. But they were asking and Stephanie was like guys. We we're not gonna talk about this. It's scary It's not appropriate for your age and they're like we don't need to see it. Just tell us what it's about What is it? They were just like dying to know and I don't even know what it's about. And but Stephanie was like, I unfortunately watched that when I was too young and it has really, really disturbed me for the rest of my life. Really? I think my mom was into scaring me or like into showing us movies like that.

And so I would, yeah, I was exposed to them younger than I do. I don't know, in some ways it's good for kids to be scared and look at the darkness in the world in a way that's like cathartic or something, but maybe more in terms of like Voldemort than like Jack Nicholson with an axe. Yeah, I don't know that I want to. Introduce.

Do you know any pop culture references from The Shining, like the twins? Yeah, I know they're standing in a hallway. Yeah, they are. Oh yeah, they are. Fortune, do you like The Shining? Yeah, I didn't watch The Shining until later on in life, like two years ago,

because it was one of those movies that everyone would reference as being a masterpiece. And I was like, I've never seen it. I feel like I should see it. I am not as hard pass as Tig on scary movies, but I'm not as like, I love scary movies. I'm like in the middle of the scary movies where they're not usually my go-to. I'm not like, I'm the person that knows when every new scary movie is coming out. And I'm like, we got to go see it. But if I'm like with friends and they're like, we're having a movie night and we're watching something scary, I'll be like, oh, sure.

Let's see what this is about. But they do freak me out if it's like, especially if it's something about being like home alone and. Yeah. I will be home alone. It's very scary, especially if you're showering with a frosted area on your glass. Imagine how scary that is. Scary. Yeah. anything about someone being alone and someone breaking in, that always freaks me out.

Yeah. Like crazy horror stuff, I tend to do the thing, the laugh thing, that's sort of my Nervous laughter. Parachute, yeah, out of the feeling of scaredness. I just plug my ears so I don't hear the scary music. And then in my mind I'm imagining the Benny Hill soundtrack or something silly.

Do you really need to work that hard when you're watching entertainment? Yeah, to avoid. Trauma, to fend off trauma. Some movies have those jump scares. That gets me where it's like. I like a jump scare. I think maybe we're similar.

Like I don't like tons of blood and death and scare. But I love like, this is a really specific genre I think, but like a psychological thriller from the 90s with A-list stars and kind of a corny, like I'm talking Michael Douglas in the game or or like Kevin Bacon and Meryl Streep in the that one about whitewater rafting. Oh, yeah. A slow build. That was really good acting.

That movie was. Yeah, that psychological stuff. Or who's the bad guy? What's going to happen? You know, River Wild. Trust. Yeah. I like movies like that where it's more of like Yeah, that psychological stuff, where you're like, who's the bad guy? What's gonna happen? You don't know who to trust. I like movies like that, where it's more of like edge of your seat, less of the gore kind of movies.

My mom always talked about people going to see The Exorcist in cinemas when it came out, and people were just puking in the cinema, they were passing out. Because people hadn't seen anything like that, they were just like, blah. Yeah, oh my God. I meanuking in the cinema. They were passing out. Because people hadn't seen anything like that. They were just like, ah. Yeah. Oh my God.

I mean, that is the thing. The scary movies back in the day seemed to have more impact because people weren't as exposed to things, so many awful things as they are now. I mean, nowadays people see things, they're like, oh, I just saw that on the news. Yeah.

You know what I mean? But like back then it was just like the idea of the scary stuff was like a newer thing that was being introduced to people. I used to work for the director Sam Raimi. Oh my God, I love Sam Raimi. Yeah. So did you watch his movies or you were like,

not for me, but I'll work for you. I mean, I watched Evil Dead and enjoyed that. I enjoyed the campiness of it, but I didn't go deep dive after that, but he was a very nice man. Isn't that crazy? He's like a nice normal guy, but then his mind is producing, like it's always-

I mean, I don't know if he's normal. I haven't been in touch with him for decades. And I worked for his company. He could have been up to weird stuff at home, but he was very, very pleasant. Anytime I had any sort of interaction with him. But, and obviously I did that Army of the Dead movie, but like I didn't, it's not, being in a movie like that

is different than actually watching gore and- You didn't have zombies coming after you? You were all green screen, right? Yeah, I was green screened into the movie, so. It must be so, you should get hold of the footage. There were zombies. Get the footage of just you in front of the green screen looking scared at nothing.

That will be so fun. Then you can green screen in other things. Yeah, yeah. I'll see what I can do. I'll give Zack Snyder a ring of ding. See if he'll give me that footage. You mentioned Jaws earlier. That movie did, when I was a kid, impact me in a way

where I don't know that I spent much time in the actual ocean after that. And I think that happened with a lot of people. Like it was so scary and so realistic. I mean, I was terrified watching that entire movie. Yeah. People were just like, I'm not going swimming in the ocean anymore. Yeah.

Wasn't the tagline for the sequel was just when he thought it was safe to get back in the water. It's like, is that there's so many, that's genius, isn't it? I mean, the music in scary movies really sells it. And how crazy to have such a famous piece of music like that, that everybody associates with sharks. I know. And it's just two notes. Faster and louder.

But they do have the, they have in the Academy Museum in LA, they have the shark on display, like above the escalator. And when you see it like that, you're like, this is what I was scared of. It's like, Pussy. Is that a pussy shark? Have you gone?

That pussy shark can't get me. Have you gone on the ride at Universal Studios and then the mechanical shark comes out so janky and clanky and you hear it's like clicking and it's like, oh, I remember I went as a child and it scared me. Absolutely scared me. You're right though with kids, like you do,

I mean, not in my family, but like you have to be so careful with kids because you forget that they, like I was watching some live action Peter Pan movie that came out in the early 2000s and I was showing this amazing child that I live with and it was like not scary, but there's a fight scene in it. And then about halfway through, she was just like, just they're, this is not real, right?

Like they're acting like that. He's not really bleeding, right? And I was like, this is not real, right? They're acting like he's not really bleeding, right? And I was like, oh right, yeah, no, I should, I need to reiterate that. You were like, yeah. Yeah. Another movie that scared the bejesus out of me back in the day was Freddy Krueger. The Freddy Krueger movies, what was the name?

Nightmare on Elm Street. I've never seen it. So the whole thing with those movies is that you couldn't go to sleep. Because if you go to sleep, he comes in your dreams and kills you. And so that freaked me out. Dude, I was like, oh my God, I can't go to sleep.

Yeah, generation of parents being like, great, thanks. Now my kids. You can't swim, you can't sleep, you can't bend over in the frosted shower. They were really trying to mess with us back then. Yeah, I definitely, like if you asked me, like would you ever go on a cruise? And I'm like, no, I have this fear of cruise ships or I'm afraid, and then when I trace back

the origins of a lot of my fears, it's like, oh, I just saw a movie when I was like eight. Did you watch Speed 2? Yeah yes, speed to Poseidon. Air Force, you really got me. Is that a scary movie? No, it's just the movie speed was so huge. They tried to do a sequel and then they put it on a boat on a cruise ship or no. No one wants it except me.

Because Sandra Bullock wasn't in it, right? Or was she? Yeah, she was like, no thanks. Yeah. My son Max is so interested in scary movies, but he, it's that love hate. Yes. Where when he was three, he would always ask us to like, or even two,

when he was two, he would ask us to look up to Google pictures of the Joker. And then we would pull it up on the screen and he would stare at it. And then he would slowly back away from our computer screen. And also what I've noticed with Max is he gets scared at times that are not obviously scary,

where he'll be like, oh, and then he'll hide his eyes. And Stephanie and I are always like, that's so interesting that this part scares him. Oh, man. Yeah. I love him asking you to Google the Joker. Yeah, he used to always wanna, he'd know, he'd learn about different things

that were scary and he'd wanna see pictures of them and he would really take it in and then he would just silently back away because it was so intense for him. And then he would also, our TV in the whatever den, our kitchen is right there. It's like an open floor plan there.

And he would watch something and then he would go run and hide behind a counter. It was like a cartoon child where he would be like this and peeking over the counter. It was a little head poking up. Yeah, over the counter. It was like a cartoon child where he would be like this and his little head over the yeah over the counter and he just he couldn't look away but he was mortified. You know the song Thriller the Michael Jackson song I used to love when that scary Vincent Price voice comes in and then at the end he laughs and I used to sprint out of the room and hide in bed when the laugh happened but I like wanted I wanted it come, but I was so scared.

That was a good, scary voice. You guys ever watched Tales from the Crypt back in the day? Yeah, yeah, very spooky. That little creature or whatever. Spooky, we have a spooky story for you. That's not the voice, would you know it? I can't really handle like possession things.

Like, you know, there's a whole genre of movies of people getting possessed and that freaks me out. Yeah, I'm not into that either. Like the exorcist did nothing for me. I was like, ugh, so stupid. Oh, I see it fucked me up. I was, and then I found out, and there's a scene in a hospital

where they take the girl in to make sure she's not sick and she's possessed by the devil or whatever. And then one of the extras in real life, it turned out he was a serial killer. I'm just like, this movie is cursed. I know. The movie is cursed. I know, and there was some-

All those possessed movies just has some angry woman come in at the end of the movie and like smack the shit out of the person. Yeah. Who's been possessed. And they're like, enough of that. Yeah. The credits roll.

I saw John Mulaney, I saw John Mulaney doing standup pretty recently and he was talking about how in all those possession movies, all the demon does really is swear at people. He just goes, fuck you. Now fuck you. It was a good thing. That's not that scary.

Yeah, and then what do you say? It's just rude. Yeah, and he goes, and then the priest comes in and the demon's like, fuck you the most. He has been doing that a lot more lately with his he did it when he was a presenter at the Oscars, I think he Retold the plot of this movie in a very funny way. So good. Yeah. Yeah Should we listen to the answer to Paul's question? Yeah, what Paul has to say.

The answer to the question I posed, I am a big fan of horror movies. From the time I'm a kid, it's always interesting to me why some people like to be scared and some people don't. And I never know if it's like brain chemistry or upbringing or what it is. But for some reason, some people like to be scared and some people don't. And for some reason, I like it. And I mean, I like many horror movies. The Texas Chainsaw Massacre is one of my favorite.

But the first horror movie I saw, I was four years old. I was left with a babysitter. For some reason, my brother, sister, mother, father, they just ditched and left left with a babysitter. For some reason, my brother, sister, mother, father, they just ditched and left me with a babysitter. I was four. And this babysitter had the brilliant idea that maybe it'd be fun to sit and watch the creature feature movie Saturday night with the four-year-old kid. And I don't think I'd ever seen something like this. And I saw a movie called Carnival of Souls, which is this really B movie, not even B.

I mean, it's like a Z movie. It's just zero budget. And it made a huge impact on me. Couldn't sleep for what felt like a year. It was probably just a few nights. But I was traumatized and I loved it. I was hooked on horror movies. I recommend that movie if you've never seen it.

It's weird. And probably better if you see it when you're four than you see it now, because I don't know that it would scare you now. But it's weird and eerie anyway. What a pleasure, thanks for having me on the show. That was a great simple question that really kicked up so much conversation. And I have to say it just,

his answer reminded me that when in the 80s, my brother and I were so obsessed actually with a zombie film called Night of the Comet. And it's like, it is a, it's a cult, cult film. And I would love a poster of it. It was such a part of my childhood that I just remembered about. And the other thing that I remembered

was that my brother and I also used to watch those, I don't know if this is, I might be, you guys might be too much younger than me to have these movies that played in the afternoon where it was like a crab that was taking over. It was kind of like Godzilla type vibe where it was like a big ant and a crab and they would fight each other or.

Oh, and it was like a whole series of. They were just these B movies that would come on in the afternoon. It wasn't, I don't think it was even on cable or anything. It was, I think, pre-cable. That's amazing. But I used to love watching those movies. We'd watch them with these friends of these neighbors.

But yeah, it was like so fake looking, like a big crab walking through the city. Maybe that's the, so that's the level you're comfortable with. You need like a giant crab or yeah. Yeah, where you're just kind of laughing at it. Where you're like. It's funny because back in the day,

a lot of these horror films were considered like the B movies, the like sub par movies. And now they're the ones making like a gazillion dollars. I know like get out and hereditary and I had a, um, like a general meeting on zoom with the producers of the scream trilogy and like I haven't emphasized enough, like how deeply I love those movies. Yeah, those movies are great. The third one was Parker Posey and like the cast was just amazing. Anyway,

I was like, oh my God, this is a meeting about being in a script. Like they kind of were like, we told them you want to be in a screen movie. And so I was selling myself so far. I was like, I love them. Listen, wouldn't it be cool if you had a non-binary person get stabbed in your movie? Stabbed in your movie. Yeah.

And then it transpired like really quickly. It became clear that they were like, yeah, yeah, cool. Um, we have this comic book about like a queer high school student. And then it transpired like really quickly. It became clear that they were like, yeah, yeah, cool. We have this comic book about like a queer high school student. We were wondering if you'd be interested in adapting it. I was like, oh, yeah. So so no scream. So I feel like every meeting I'm in always devolves to that conversation. Do you want to adapt this this this

this queer cartoon. Always. Every meeting, that's what we're waiting to get to. You're like, sure, Mr. Scorsese, I guess. I thought you were gonna. Well, we've had two Scream Queens. Courtney Cox obviously was in Scream. She was on The Hands of Pud.

And Jamie Lee Curtis early on in the Pud. Halloween, she was. That's true. The queen of those movies. We gotta get Drew Barrymore. Oh yeah, we can get her. Neve Campbell, Canadian scream queen. I love how Neve Campbell put her foot down

with the scream movies and said, you're not paying me enough. Yeah. But didn't she announce she's coming back? So it worked, I think she's gonna be on the next one. Well, because everybody was like, yeah, the last iteration of that movie made so much money. They're like, pay her.

Pay her. She is the franchise. Yeah. Well, this has been a lovely, I feel kind of- Terrifying. Yeah, I do feel kind of adrenalized just from talking about it. I feel like I need to go take a shower.

Maybe back in Palm Springs with a big window and people passing by. I take the frosting off. Yeah, I'm gonna show up with a pad tie. You should put up a blinking light that says, be whole this way. Fortune's be whole with an arrow. My bee hole, yes. Well, I love you guys. Well, I love you too.

Love you too, little cowboy. Love you too, little cowboy. That's what I'm trying to say, little cowboy. If this episode scared you, just know that we have comedy available to you as well to help shake some of that off. I know myself this weekend, I'm gonna be in New Buffalo, Michigan at the casino,

then coming up Atlantic City, New Jersey, Niagara Falls, New York, and Charlestown, West Virginia, if you want to laugh. Nice. And also I have a movie that Stephanie and I directed that is finally out and available on HBO Max and it's called MIOK starring Dakota Johnson and Sonoya Mizuno.

And I'm also, I make a little appearance in there, but I have to say it is one of the greatest Dakota Johnson performances you will ever see. It is just- She's so good. In this movie, she, yeah, she is so good, but in this movie, she is just, you have to watch. I feel like she already has like a devoted queer fan base.

Like she just has that quality that I think pretty little ladies are drawn to. And I'm excited to see her in this movie. I think we've been waiting for this. Yeah, and as usual, I'm working out new material around Los Angeles at Largo and Dynasty Typewriter and check out tignotaro.com for all show information. I am in a pre-production for film

and I'm about to start filming. So I'm not doing any gigs, but as always, you can watch SAP on Netflix, my standup special, or I don't know, just drop me a message. Just drop me a message. Oh, and one last thing, my standup special, hello again on Prime Video, watch it. And don't forget we have a ton of cool merch available,

some really fun shirts, pretty little lady, keep it handsome, tee that's great for summer, socks, pins, enamel pins. We've got the great merchandise. It's really solid. It's really cool hats. Also, little cowboy hat. Make sure to subscribe to our YouTube page

and that's where you can see May's tie-dye shirt. Yeah. The more I've been staring at this tie-dye for the whole episode on my screen, the more I've fallen out of love with it. It looks like vomit. It looks like vomit. Let me know what you think.

I'm wearing my lesbian flannel today. Looking good. Only the top two buttons are buttoned. I love it. Whoa, sexy. There you go. That's for all you YouTube watchers right there. Come on, now.

I got my white shirt on right here. That's all. Naked from the waist down. That's right. Well, I guess all that remains is to remind everybody to please keep it handsome. Handsome is hosted by me, Tignotaro, Mae Martin and Fortune Themester.

The show is produced, recorded and edited by Thomas Ouellette. Email us at handsomepod at gmail.com. Follow us on social media at handsomepod. What a podcast! What a podcast! What a podcast!