Handsome - Pretty Little Episode #19

Episode Date: December 27, 2024

All three handsome hosts hop on for a very special end of year Pretty Little Episode!Handsome is hosted by Tig Notaro, Mae Martin, and Fortune FeimsterSubmit questions to speakpipe.com/handsomepodFollow us on social media @handsomepodMerch at handsomepod.comWatch Handsome on YouTubeThis is a Headgum podcast. Follow Headgum on Twitter, Instagram, and Tiktok. Advertise on Handsome via Gumball.fm.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Some people just know they could save hundreds on car insurance by checking Allstate First. Like you know to check the internet for videos about mountain goats before heading out the door for the day. Yeah, checking first is smart. So check Allstate First for a quote that could save you hundreds. You're in good hands with Allstate. This content is intended for audiences in the US only. Savings vary, terms apply. Allstate Fire and Casualty insurance company and affiliates Northbrook Illinois.

This is a head gun podcast. Pretty little episode. Well, well, well, all three of our handsome faces together. Oh, as it should be. On a pretty little episode. All is well. We've reunited. That's right, May. What does it feel?

Feels so good. Yes. Oh my Lord. This is a special pre-lil episode because we're about. Fortune has a headset on. I have a headset on. Can I take your order? But we're closing out one year and heading into another.

Or whatever. How do you guys feel about that? I feel really good about it. Really good. Apparently numerologically, the next year is a goodie. Oh, that's good. Wait, for you or for everyone? For me. Good question.

Sorry, just for me. Oh, for you. Okay. What's on the horizon? Yeah, Yeah. This psychic said a lot of growth, a lot of expansion. And yeah, cause I was like, oh, I think I'm just going to be like nesting,

settling down. She was like, no, next year, 2025 is a big fun year, crazy travel growth. And then she said, 2026, that's when you're nesting. Oh, okay. Wow. Okay, little bird. Yeah, you know me.

That's our little bird. Spread my wings and flyin'. But then nesting. And then nesting. That's the little bird. I bet next year's gonna be great for you guys too. We'll see, I haven't been to a psychic yet. Wait, why do you bet that next year is gonna be great for you guys too. We'll see, I haven't been to a psychic yet. Wait, why do you bet that next year

is gonna be great for us? Are you just trying to be positive? I think so. Yeah, I just feel bad being the only one who's gonna flap my wings. Sore. Yeah, we don't know what's in store for us. Tegan and I have yet to see a psychic.

No, but we should together. We should. Oh my God. Please. The psychic will be there trying to figure out what your relationship is. We found your Groupon for the two for one psychic reading. Okay, and are you two a couple?

I know we're podcast co-hosts. Not yet. You tell us. We're a podcast couple. We're actually in a throuple. Our other one has already been, so. We'd like to know, are we soaring? Yeah. I always like a new year, you know?

You shed the last, this year has been good and positive for the most part. Couple of little hiccups here and there, but I still like the freshness of a new situation. Me too. I hate the pressure of resolutions though. I don't do all that. I do them throughout the year. Yeah, yeah.

That's smart. Every morn with your morning coffee. I haven't been drinking coffee. Really? Yeah. So healthy. I've gotten really into my morning smoothie that I just, I don't even remember. I just don't even want coffee.

Every now and then, like I had some coffee yesterday, but I can't believe how much it like kicked me off coffee. It's weird, very bizarre. Have you guys ever had like a really electric New Year's countdown kiss? Oh, good question. With each other? I mean with my wife, of course.

So many electric kisses where our mouths are sparking. New Year's Eve, in my opinion, is always kind of anticlimactic, it's all this buildup and then you're like, five, four, three, two, one. Yes. It's here. We're still. Yeah.

It feels like you're about to lift off, but yeah. Yeah. So if you had an electric kiss, I guess that would be a nice cherry on top, but usually Jack's not have a smooch and she shoves a strawberry in her face. I shove a macaroon or whatever is nearby me in my face. Wait, why a strawberry and a macaroon? That feels very New Year's Eve.

Does it? A strawberry in the mouth? No, like a chocolate covered strawberry. Well, you didn't add that. It's like, and then she, you know, of course has a prune. And then we're in the new year. It just feels very New Year's Eve. I don't like strawberries, so that's not on my plate.

That's what I was trying to scramble to think of a different dessert. I totally understand. I just, you have to mention the chocolate dipped strawberry, not- You're right, you're right. I left that important part out. It's so important.

And then we have a handful of grapes. We kiss. The grapes are tradition in Spain. For New Year's? Yeah. When it hits, they have a whole thing where you go into like the, they do like public celebrations. She's clapping her arms. I'm clapping my arms like May Soaring.

But also you can do it at home and they hand out a bag of 12 grapes. And at midnight, like a clock rings every like how many ever seconds and you pop a grape in your mouth. That's a lot of grapes. That's a lot of grapes. It's a lot of grapes. That's dangerous. Yeah, but it's their tradition. I did it in Barcelona. I've never noticed your accent before.

Only when I say Barcelona. Yeah, I thought you were Australian. That is their tradition. So I don't know, look it up, try it. You know, in Japan, people get a bowl of warm soba noodles. That's how you bring it. Are you guys making things up right now? No, I swear.

Bowl of warm noodles in Japan. I'm not making mine up. Well, I read that that's a tradition. I shoved 12 grapes in my mouth. And now it's a tradition in Barcelona. I believe it's pronounced Bar-cel-o-na. How do you say razor blades in? Oh, I did get corrected on that.

It's rise up. Yes. Yeah. Oh, I see, I see. My bad. It's rise up, rise up, rise up lights, not raise up lights. But honestly, either works. But thank you to our lovely listeners

for pointing that out multiple times. Okay, but how do you say rise up lights in Spanish? Rise up lights. Okay. How do you say paella? Paella. I guess I just said it. There's notes in that one so you can just say it normal.

Paella. It's the thing with the this thing. A lift. Sumo de piña. Gracias. You know what I mean? Anyway, enough about that. Guys, we have to answer some questions.

We sure do. I really forgot that we were about that. Guys, we have to answer some questions. We sure do. I really forgot that we were doing that. Yeah, let's do that. Did you think we were all just meeting on Zoom to hang out? Yes, kind of, yeah. We were just checking it. Why not? Let's do it.

Yeah. Hello, handsome. It's Jen from just east of Toronto. Hey. My question for you is, if there was a movie made about your life, what are three songs that would be included on the soundtrack? Three? That's...

Whoa. I would definitely have that song. Story of my life. Yes. Oh, that's a good one. One Direction. Oh my God. I didn't know that you were into that song. That's like my karaoke song.

I love that song. Me too. I love it and I can't play cool about it. Yeah, it's so good. So that's gonna be in my movie. Look at you, all right. The best part is where it kind of breaks down, it gets quiet and then Zane sort of breaks it down.

Story of my life. I don't know it well enough to, you know. To name the boys? Yeah, no, no. In fact, I didn't even know Harry Styles is in One Direction until recently. But I love that song. Okay. That's a good song.

That's maybe opening credits. Oh, and then. Oh. I can't decide. There would have to be an Indigo Girls song in there. 100%. Get Out the Map. Cause it would be like,

and then Tig traveled from Colorado. Get out the map. Get out the map. Get out the map. And it's you in a car. Can you hear? Oh yeah, there'd have to be an Indigo Girl. I put Galileo.

Also Pretenders. Pretend, you can have all three. You could have, you could go. How come I can't think of one song? You've already got five. Willie Nelson. There would have to, Ray Charles. Okay.

You don't know me. Oh, that would have to be in there. Just like right when you're falling for somebody. Oh yeah, nice. Okay, so that's like maybe you meet Stephanie. Or when I met Fortune, my life partner. Okay, mine would be right when I'm born, I want Breathe, Pink Floyd, I think,

or I want, you know the Black Sabbath song that's like, bong, and then he goes, what is this I see before me? I want that, like, I'm a baby and I open my eyes for the first time and I look around, I'm like, what the fuck? And then I think I want Spice Girls. Colors of the world, I get it.

Yeah, spice up your life. Yeah. Maybe, maybe Benny. I mean, Benny and the Jets is my favorite song. That's a good one too. Maybe my team like an Elton John. Yeah. Or maybe what if I picked really filthy, you know,

nine inch nails. I want to fuck you like an animal. Oh yeah. On the day you're born. I could see that. No, nine inch nails. I wanna fuck you like an animal. Oh yeah. On the day you're born. I could see that. No, that's later. No, that's later. That's later. Cut, cut, no.

This doesn't fit. You know what? I also just to be on the nose, I want Gladys Knight's, what is the name of the song? If anyone should ever write my life story. Oh yeah, okay. Yeah, you're picking very-

Well, I wanna pick the ones that are talking about life story. I like Gladys Knight. I would do Midnight Train to Georgia, but then I'd be like, and you know, when I moved to LA, LA, you can prove too much for the man. Yes. Too much for the man.

And then I would come back and go, I'm actually from North Carolina, but you guys get- I want to. Can we do Gladys Knight right now where you sing Gladys and I'll do the pips? Okay. Wait, what do I do? You can pip in.

You can pip in. Prove too much for the man. Too much for the man. Take, this was your idea. He couldn't make it. So he's leaving a life. I'm forgetting which one is this. He's leaving. Leaving.

On a midnight train to Georgia. Leaving on a midnight train. Said he's going back. Going back to find. Going back to find. This isn't going well. Going back to find. Well it's something that's something that's something. This isn't going well. This is really boring.

Yes, it's really. I know you will. That's what I wanted to do is the. Right. I know you will. Right. We're gonna, we're gonna. Yeah, yeah, yeah, we're almost there. Maybe at one of our live shit, next live shows.

Yeah, we'll have it down. Yeah. You know what I want when I arrive on the planet? I want Circle of Life from the Lion King. That's a good one. From the day we set foot on the planet. Yeah, I want all of Alton John. Have you guys exhausted enough? I feel like there's like eight songs in here.

OK, yeah, let's hear it. Let's hear her answer. Maybe I'll wait. I can add another song if you want. Yeah, let's do it. Let's hear her answer. Maybe uh, oh wait, I can add another song if you want Yeah, let's do it. Not button Joe the button maker. No, maybe Brandi Carlile the story. Of course That's enough I did Gladys Knight that's a good one and then maybe a Celine Dion song Some people just know they could save hundreds on car insurance by checking Allstate First. Like you know to work on your Australian accent before heading on a vacation down on that. Yeah, checking first is smart. So check Allstate First for a quote that could save you hundreds. You're in good hands with

Allstate. This content is intended for audiences in the US only. Savings vary, terms apply. Allstate Fire and Casualty Insurance Company and Affiliates, Northbrook, Illinois. All right. Okay. What do we answer? My first song would be Lose Yourself by Eminem. Oh my God. It was the song playing right before I won a really big championship in Women's Box Lacrosse with my team. Nice.

The second one would be Van Morrison's Into the Mystic. Yeah, sure. The third one would be from a Belgian band called K's Choice. Oh yeah Choice and it will be the song Believe. That's amazing. K's Choice. That's a blast from the past.

Well thanks for your question and answer, Jen. Thanks, Jen. That was fun. All right, what's next? Hey, handsome. I'm AJ. I'm from Maryland. First of all,, love the podcast. I love each of you all. And the

podcast kind of gives us a little bit of insight into your personal lives outside of the stage and film. So I just love the podcast. I hope you all keep going. But my question is kind of based on Tic, because I'm a fan and when I describe her to other people, I'll usually say, oh, she's like the female version of Larry David. And generally people will get it. So I'm curious if you all have been described as either another comedian or just someone with a huge personality that we would all know. And did you agree or you're like, nah, that's not me. Like, Tig, do you think you're the female version of Larry David? Do you think that?

That is hilarious. He's a little more curmudgeon-y. Yeah, yeah. I mean, I know I have, you know, I don't know what it is that side of my personality where I'll be a curmudgeon. But I don't think I'm curmudgeoning. I think I'm just dry.

Yeah. You know? Yeah. I mean, I can see that that would be like kind of a... But you don't get worked up like him. Like you don't have that kind of manic. Yeah. I don't get flustered.

I'm more like, this is really... Yeah. Yeah. Let me think this through here. And not as neurotic. No, I don't feel neurotic at all. I mean, do you ever, or maybe- So maybe she's wrong. I think we answered that one. Did you guys ever have in the early days,

like before you kind of had your own? Like I used to I I mean still I will just get compared to any gay comic like any or any like queer Born female comic it's just like oh, maybe I'm like, you know, like Ellen or TIG or you know Yeah, I don't think we're that similar but it's right. That's like the lazy comparison I don't think we're that similar, but that's like the lazy comparison. But also, I don't know. I get compared to inanimate objects a lot, like a lamp or a Q-tip. Oh, you know, specifically those are you just saying you as a lamp?

I can see a Q-tip. Yeah, those two came to mind that I've heard. And then also, I told you, my co-star recently said I have mosquito energy or, you know, things like that, like that, weasel. May is like a Q-tip with mosquito energy. Yeah, famously. I just usually get compared to any comic that's a larger size as I am.

So they just kind of pack us all in together. Yeah, lazy. I sometimes have in the, I don't, other than we have blonde hair and are, you know, kind of out there at times. And some people have thought I was Bridget Everett. Okay. I've had people say-

You both sing. That they love my show. And I'm like, what? The podcast? And they're like, oh no, the one on HBO. And I'm like, what about podcasts? And they're like, oh, no, the one on HBO. And I'm like, OK. I love Bridget. She's amazing. Amazing. But we are so different.

It is funny when people come up and they'll go, oh, my God, I love your show. And then I'll say, what? What show? And they'll laugh at me and go, you're blah, blah, blah. And I'm like, well, that's not my only show. I have my podcast is just show, my standups is show. I'm on this TV show or what show I'm showbiz. You know what I mean? I'm showbiz.

Yeah. And when people have congratulated me on whatever show I've been on and that I haven't been on, I'm just like, thanks. Well, I'll tell you, I didn't say who people compared me to, which of course people say Tom Cruise as far as like looks and stuff. What I thought was interesting when I first dated Stephanie was I reminded her of Bob Dylan. Hey. Interesting.

You know what? Which is so interesting. I kind of get it. I could, yeah. That's so funny. I could kind of see that. There's like, well, there's a phase of his life where he just, he sort of, when he had no time for press and stuff

and he was like in no direction home kind of like, he's just gone electric and he's kind of like, he's pretty cool. Yeah, I could, yeah. I see that. Yeah, I could, yeah, I see that. Yeah, I don't know. I'll have to ask more about it, like, but those days are gone.

Do you think she means, cause your voice is like, yeah, good morning, Stephanie. Good morning. That's probably the best I could sing. Yeah. Once upon a time. That's good, May.

It was good. Yeah, I upon a time. That's good, May. Thanks. That was good. Yeah. I love that question. Let's get one more before we ski down. Finish our pre-lo episode. Hi, Fortune, May and Tig. I'm a big fan.

My name is Rachel from the Valley. What does that mean? I just got my first kitten. He's a little black and white tuxedo cat. And I cannot for the life of me pick a name. I have a dog named Ziggy and the cat is his little brother, but I have no idea what to call him. Every three days I'm changing my mind.

Would love your help. Thanks. I feel like it sounds like she's going to cry. Yeah, or like we woke her up. Maybe we should whisper. It's like, oh. I'm gonna call it. I'm gonna call it for my cat.

I had, my very first cat was a little tuxedo kitten. I got her when I was two, and I named her Stripe, and she didn't have a stripe on her. But I remember thinking that was a cat name. Yeah, that's a good name. I called her Stripe. So if you wanna keep that tradition going and call your little tuxedo kitten Stripe, please do.

I have two suggestions. Oh great. Okay. I thought of cookie from black and white cookies, you know? Mm-hmm. So cookie, if it's a girl. Yeah. And because when I think of tuxedos, I think of fancy.

Fancy. Or handsome, a tuxedo. Oh my God. What do you mean fancy? Handsome. I didn't even think of handsome. I was thinking of Reba McIntyre, fancy. Fancy, what was her name?

May, what's yours? When I think of tuxedas, I think of like putting on the rits. So maybe rits, maybe rits. Ooh, rits. Yeah, maybe penguin or something. But then also I really, oh, who wears the tux? Whoever's hosting the Oscars, call it. Oscar. Oscar.

Interesting, I love it. I love how our brains go. Yeah. I feel like we really gave this person a lot to work with. A lot of names. Hopefully she can go back to sleep. Yeah, get some rest. Sleep well, Rachel. Hopefully you can go back to sleep. Yeah, get some rest.

Sleep well. Rachel, hopefully you can go back to sleep and just snuggle in with Oscar. Oscar. Handsome Oscar. Fancy Stripe. Fancy Stripe Cookie. Is there like a combination of the three of our names? Like how would you, if you were gonna ship us, for instance. Or if we were like a Hollywood throuple.

Yeah, ooh. Like now I'm listening, let's go back to that psychic as a throuple. Matifo. T. Matifo. Matifo. Fo.

Where's the fo? Fortune. I mean, what is fortune? She's called Fortune. Okay, Matifoe. Four, or. We're just petering out like mumbling Matifoe. Yeah. That's what happens at the end of the year.

That's right. You're tired. No. You're really tired trying to name your throuple. Yeah, it's exhausting. I mean, what a treat. This is always a fun time. I mean, what a treat. This is always a fun time.

I love doing the one-on-ones with you guys on the Pretty Little Episodes, because it's just a fun vibe there, but I always love it when we're together too. Yes. Me too. This is the best way to head out of the new year. Absolutely. Old year.

Head into the new year. Yeah. Whatever. Blast off. Well. We just really appreciate everybody who listens to our pod and has been since we started. We are so excited for the next year and all the good stuff to come. Yeah, we have so many fun live shows coming up

and recordings and more merchandise headed your way. And yeah, just the vibe of the listeners that good people. Yeah, the like and tell on our Instagram page, there's so many funny comments and kind comments. And the community that's building around it and seeing people like wearing the gear at shows and then finding each other and chatting,

it's amazing. Oh my gosh. At my show in Toronto the other night, just like the most subtly handsome dude sitting front row in his pretty little lady shirt. Oh, I love her sweat shirt, whatever it was. I did a show in Santa Rosa. I saw so many handsome shirts and pretty little lady shirts in the audience, it was wild.

Yeah, it's really great. Thank you guys for supporting that. And yeah, we'll be in Nashville and Austin in April. So get those tickets are going fast. Boom. And until next time, keep it pretty handsome. Handsome is hosted by me, Mae Martin, Tig Notaro and Fortune Feimster. The show is produced, recorded and edited by Thomas Ouellette. Email us at handsomepod at gmail.com and please follow us on social media at handsomepod. Some people just know they could save hundreds on car insurance by checking Allstate First. Mike you know to check your phone for a new Pretty Little Episode before you start your

Friday. Yeah, checking first is smart. So check Allstate First for a quote that could save you hundreds. You're in good hands with Allstate. This content is intended for audiences in the US only. Savings vary, terms apply. Allstate Fire and Casualty Insurance Company and Affiliates, Northbrook, Illinois.