Handsome - Pretty Little Episode #9

Episode Date: October 18, 2024

Tig and Fortune talk about pet voices, kind surprises, and dating in Alabama on another hilarious Pretty Little Episode!We have new Handsome merch just in time for spooky season! Get your "Yeah Ghost" tees and "Keep It Handsome" hoodies now at handsomepod.comHandsome is hosted by Tig Notaro, Mae Martin, and Fortune FeimsterFollow us on social media: @handsomepodMerch: handsomepod.comWatch on youtube: youtube.com/@handsomepodEmail the show: [e-mail] Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Here's a pleasant surprise. Switching your home insurance doesn't have to be a hassle or a headache. You can save money by getting a quote from Allstate. They make it easy to make the switch. Check Allstate first and you could save $574 on your home insurance. No hassle, just savings. You're in good hands with Allstate. Not available in every state? Based on the national average annual savings for new home insurance customers surveyed in 2023 who switched to Allstate and reported savings. Savings vary. Handsome Pot. Chattin' with friends on the Handsome Pot. Chattin' with friends on the Handsome Pot. Pretty Little Episode. Hello! Welcome to the Pretty Little Episode.

It's me, your friend Tignotaro. And me, your friend Fortune Feimster. Yeah, it's us. We're pretty little ladies. Yes, we're missing our they-dee today. I know. May is filming their show, which I'm sure will be a smash hit. That's right.

It was pretty fun when we had that live show seeing how many people get their ponties in a bunch. Oh no, that's the wrong phrase. Ponties in a bunch is when you're irritated. Ponties, I don't wanna say what, that's the wrong phrase. Ponty's in a bunch is when you're irritated. Ponty's, I don't want to say wet. That's gross. Oh! I know.

Fortune! I'm trying not to say that. You already said it. But over May, it's very fun to see these fans lose it. Just May's a heartthrob. Yeah, yeah. I mean, not that we're not, it's just, May's a heartthrob. Yeah, yeah. I mean, not that we're not, it's just, you know, we're married, we're like married and,

Yeah, yeah. We're not getting Ponty's thrown at us just because people were trying to be respectful. I'm, you know, all this talk about, you know, single cat ladies, I'm a married cat lady. I've got a wife, I come with a lot of wife, two kids and three cats. I mean, that's why people, people think you're sexy too, but they're not throwing their ponies at you.

No, let's be honest. You and I are not heartthrobs on this show. Okay. It's all named after May. This show is named after May. It's handsome. May's a heartthrob, but you have that Tom Cruise thing that the pretty little ladies love as well.

Sure, I'm Tom Cruise in CVS Readers, absolutely. Yeah, it was just funny to see. Are you talking about after the show or just during the show? During and after. Yeah. How do you know all the attention was towards May? How do you know it wasn't towards your handsome face or? Cause I guess maybe, maybe May's fans were more verbal. There were a lot of signs of May, will you marry me kind of thing. I saw a lot of Fortune Marie's, but that's just more of them doing your Fortune Marie impression.

Do you when you're wandering around Toronto, do you have people when when people approach you, are they chill? Are they like, uh, whether it's about your standup or acting or the podcast or they like, how, how do they interact with you? Yeah, pretty chill. Like, cause I, I run into a lot more people in Toronto cause I'm on foot a lot more than in LA, In LA, you're just driving more places by nature of that giant city being so spread out. Here, people just are very nice.

I think people approach me in a way that like, like, hey, old friend. Yeah. Like, good to see you. Like, it's funny, because especially when Biggie's here, I go walk him out by the sidewalk. I've had like three people stop when I'm outside and they're like, this is so crazy,

but I'm literally listening to Handsome right now. And I'm like, that's so funny. And then one guy was walking down here past me and he stopped, he goes, oh my God. And he puts his phone up to me and it's handsome. And that tickles me the most. Yeah, that's great. How about with you? Yeah, I was going to say it's so refreshing. The the chillness where I'll be walking to get a coffee or something. And, you know, a guy will walk past me and be like,

TIG, hey, how's it going? And I'm like, good, thanks. Like a familiar thing, yeah. Yeah, yeah. This girl yesterday, when I was walking to the store, she came up, she goes, are you Tignotaro? And I said, yes. And she goes, oh, well will you have a wonderful day?

I was like, you as well. If you weren't Tig Notaro, I'm not wishing you a good day. I've been wanting to say no, but I get that a lot. Just to see, you know, how that flies. I'm always like really proud proud of when I do shows, when the venues are like, your fans are so nice and kind, and what a lovely vibe.

I definitely think our pod has that as well, that positive, we're putting out something good, or at least that's our intention. And I think when you do that, you know, it comes back to you and you see that in the kind of listeners that listen and just that like lovely spirit. Yeah, it is such a funny feeling when the venues comment on the fan base, being nice and kind and chill. Yeah, you're like, who's been in here?

Yeah, that's exactly it. I'm like, what the hell? Especially with comedians, like I just wonder what different comedians are drawing. Yeah. What like, rude. What rowdy crowd. Rowdy or like rude, bitchy or trashed, you know, all of that kind of stuff.

Yeah. Well, we appreciate the love for sure. Yeah. Well, should we hear what our pretty little listeners want to ask? Absolutely. That's why I'm here. Hey, handsome. My name is Jordan Sullivan.

Hey, handsome. My name is Jordan Sullivan. And my question for you is, do you use voices for your pets? And if so, what are they? Well, I just Kitty City have some voices. Just to be clear, the question is like, do I use a voice to speak as the animal? Or, yeah, because I was thinking, I definitely have a voice to speak to Biggie. But I guess she's, yeah, if your animal had a voice, do you ever make that voice?

Well, we have our cat Linus. Linus. Linus. There's something about his face that he destroys me. He just like, he's the cutest little thing and his face just breaks my heart. And he just misses us so much whenever we're not home. And so like whenever we come in and he is clearly being extra affectionate. I always imagine his voice being like to Stephanie,

hi mom, mom, hi, I missed you mom. Oh mom, where were you? I love you so much mom. And so I always do that voice for Linus. Aw, I love that. Hi mom. Hi mom. Oh mom, where were you?

I was under the bed for two weeks. So yeah, what's your biggie voice? I was trying to think like, if I've ever done a voice as him, and I haven't actually. I have my voice to him, where it's that baby voice where I'm like, hello, my biggie baby bear, I love you so much, oh my God, I love you.

I'm always putting my face in his, and I'm just like, I love you my biggie baby bear. But I've never done a like, I don't know what his voice would be cause I don't think he's gay. I definitely think he's a straight man. When you're in his face going, hello biggie baby bear,

does he still do that like blank stare? Yeah. Yeah. He's going, hello, biggie, baby bear. Does he still do that blank stare? Yeah. Yeah. He's just like, she needs this. This is for her. Yeah. Yeah, at home he's actually, he has that blank stare when he's out in public.

Yeah. But when he's at home, That's so cute. he's running around and and when he's Playing with a toy which is often at home. He then looks like he's smiling. Oh But when when he's when there's a bunch of strangers around he just has that like blank I wish you could see him at home though, just like he has this whole tray with stuffed carrots

and he can go to town on those all day. Stuffed carrots, what do you mean? Like toys or actual carrots with stuffed food? Yeah, toy carrots that are stuffed with soft stuff, whatever. He loves a squeaky toy. Jax was that night of the show, she was like, ugh. She forgot a squeaky toy because she squeaks a toy and throws it and he comes out and he looks like he's smiling because he's so pumped about the squeaky toy.

I mean what a life, huh? He's got a good one. So if you had to make up a voice on the spot, life or death, you've got to come up with Biggie's voice. What is it right now? Fortune Marie. What's up, you guys? It's Biggie. I'm having a great day. If you're in my face, cool. But I'm going to need to get a little salmon out of this interaction. And I'm going to have to nibble on the carrots. He's a cool guy.

He's real cool. Because my favorite animal voice is kind of like, hey guys, it's me, Biggie. But I don't think he's gay. You don't think he's gay? No. I could see him experimenting. I mean, I could see people being into him. He's a pretty, he's all looks.

We took him to a dog party once and Jack dressed him up in a tuxedo. Dog party? What is a dog party? Alison Dunbar had one of these. Oh, okay, of course. And this was years ago. So everyone brought their dog and this was part of her, like, yeah, of course. And this was years ago. So everyone brought their dog and this was part of her,

like, yeah, she just went to have a dog party and Jack dressed biggie up in a tuxedo and there are all these big dogs around and he kept running up to them and going, like trying to like show his dominance. And Alison was like, he's doing this because y'all dress some love like a fucking idiot.

Classic Dunbar. Is there anyone funnier than Allison Dunbar? She's so funny. She makes me laugh. She is so painfully funny. If you're not familiar with Allison Dunbar, do yourself a favor and seek her out. Yes.

Okay. Should we hear Jordan's answer to the question? My wife and I, yes, of course, we have voices for our kids, aka dogs. Berlin's voice is very southern. She's a German shorthair pointer, but somehow she turned into a southern veil just like this. And our other dog, Bryson, he likes to work like this because he's a very good boy. Yeah.

Very good boy. And you all are so handsome. Thank you so much for your time. Okay. Bye. You feel so handsome. That's hilarious. That makes me realize that I didn't mention what fluff or skip, what their voices are like, but you

know, that's for another episode. Yeah, don't give it all away in this one episode. Got to leave more to come back to. Handsome homeowners, if you're in search of a good deal on your home insurance, search no longer. Allstate is here to help save you time and money without all the effort. You could be saving today, so why wait? Get a quote from Allstate today. Check Allstate first and you could save $574 on your home insurance. No hassle, just savings. You're in good hands with Allstate. Not available in every state based on the

national average annual savings for new home insurance customers surveyed in 2023 who switched to Allstate and reported savings. Savings vary. All right, what's our next question, Mr. Thomas? This one is from Nina. Nina. Let's hear it, Nina.

Hi, handsome. This is Nina Willow from Seattle. Love the pod so much. I love to be out on a walk with my earbuds in, giggling by myself. I am a total fan girl. And my question for you is, when was the last time someone surprised you with kindness?

Hmm. Hmm. Surprised you with kindness. It goes back to what we were talking about earlier. I do feel like I have been abundantly overblossed with kindness this summer. Being in Toronto and being on the streets, every day somebody comes up to me and says something kind.

I mean, truly there's not been one day I've walked outside of this apartment and someone hasn't said, love your work or keep doing what you're doing. But a man the other day, I was walking down the street and he kind of clocked me and he was like, you know, that kind of like, wait, I think I know you. And he stopped and he like looked me in the eye very earnestly and he said, you keep doing

what you're doing because it means a lot and it makes people happy. And he just like made this really beautiful eye contact and was very sincere. And I was just like, man, thank you for that. You know, it really touched me that he wanted to connect in that way and let me know that he appreciated my work. And that was really nice. Yeah and that was really nice. Yeah, that is really nice. I can't say that mine was a surprise, but I think I'm always,

I'm not surprised because it's been an ongoing thing, but I'm regularly surprised that I'm still experiencing this. But a friend of mine named Steph, who is not my wife, she has really, not just for me, but also for our good friend Andrea Gibson, has just taken it upon herself to help us with navigating our doctor's appointments and all of our medical issues and acts as an advocate for us. And it's so helpful to have her at appointments, on phone calls, on Zooms, on email threads, because when you're dealing with different medical issues that are beyond

just the common cold, it can sometimes be very complicated with decisions you're making. You're talking to so many different specialists. And this is just a friend out of the goodness of her heart. That's awesome. It is incredible. And I'm so thankful for her. And I've told her that, but as I'm saying it on here, I'm realizing I should really be pointed with my appreciation because she really,

she takes pages of notes. Wow. She does research. She really, really is so helpful. And to me, that is just like a different level of kindness. Yeah, that's a rare bird right there. Yeah, truly. She is a rare bird. She's just so, so smart. She's so smart. And she just comprehends everything. Where I'm like, I don't know. What do you think?

I don't know. You know, with different medications and treatments and it's just, I'm just very thankful for that. Shout out Steph, that's a good person. Yeah, truly. Very kind. All right, let's hear Nina's answer. My brother called me out of the blue to tell me how much he loved me

and how much he appreciated me and that he just was so glad I was in the world. That's so cool. And it was such a sweet, random message. Okay, thanks. Love this new free bonus. And yeah, I mean, that's that thing of like, I have thanked Steph. I have expressed deep appreciation, but I should probably just randomly thank her.

It's kind of like how we've talked about in relationships. It's important to just surprise people and show your appreciation. So for sure. Yeah. All right, let's get a let's get one more question. This next question is from Annie. So I'm from Alabama and I was married for almost 30 years to a man and anyways I am gay and it took me a long time you know to figure this out I guess but anyways now I'm having trouble figuring out how to meet women in Birmingham Alabama area

and also I don't know there's no bar I mean we used to get a bar and there's not really any bars for women my age, I guess. I don't know. I just feel like I'm very old and don't know how to start all this. The search. Thanks. Oh, man. I love a new gay. Welcome. Welcome to the gay club. Welcome to Gay Town. I actually have some, I think, pretty good advice. Oh good.

Because I discovered, and maybe Annie knows this, and I know it's not Birmingham, and it's not Alabama, but in Arkansas, isn't that close to Alabama? It's on planet earth as well. It's like in that vicinity. And again, I know this isn't a perfect answer, but in Arkansas, there are gay enclaves, Fayetteville, Arkansas, Eureka Springs, they're full of lesbians. Did you know this?

I didn't. They're full of lesbians. So you're telling Annie to go date in Arkansas? Yeah, I'm just telling her to leave. Oh my gosh, Annie, I have a great idea. You should go out in New York City and go to San Francisco and West Hollywood. Oh my gosh, Annie, do it. Annie, do it.

I'm just saying take a trip for the weekend to Fayetteville. There's some places there. Um, and then, and then you'll meet and you'll be like, well, Hey, one of us, cause we're Southern. Hey, one of us should move to, you want to come to Alabama or you want to come to Arkansas? Let's do it. Let's, let's bump uglies in one of these A states.

Fortune Marie! Well, these A states, baby, come on, let's do it. That's my advice. It's not great. I'll come up with something better. Tig, what do you think? I mean, it's hard to argue with Fortune's idea of someone in Alabama dating in Arkansas. I do love that you lit up with excitement like you had solved the problem. Because I couldn't believe there are all these gays in Arkansas.

Well they're everywhere. That's why the saying is we're everywhere. But a concentrated big community full of gays. Well here's another option Annie. There are gay cruises. Ooh, a gay cruise. You know, like gay resort weekend type things that I think have been really helpful for people that are, it's not just like meet somebody online. It's

like, oh, go, if you can afford it, obviously, but it's an option. I mean, look, if you're afford it, obviously, but it's an option. I mean, look, if you're gonna be traveling to- I'm freaking Arkansas. Yeah, then why not just get a cabin on a cruise and- Okay, first off, I said drive to Arkansas. You're telling her to go to a port and travel to Mexico? I mean, I feel like mine was the better option here. Okay, so you either drive to Arkansas alone.

And what, drive around with your windows down? I've got a better idea. Fly to Miami and get on a cruise to Mexico. Okay, drive to Miami. I know you love driving everywhere. So we'll get Annie. You can either drive or fly to a port and get on a gay cruise or go to a gay resort week or weekend. Those are fun and people make a lot of friends and sometimes more than friends. Yeah. And there are people from all around the world on those things, all around the country.

And yes, including Arkansas and Alabama. Just because the states are in the South starting with an A doesn't mean that you have to date in that. That's true. You don't have to date in that A state. But also tell your, speaking of friends, tell your friends, hey, I'm looking. You know a gay's books a sister up. Isn't there a handsome-

Good point. Page on some social, like on Facebook or something? I think on Facebook, yeah. Yeah, so I don't know what it's called, but I think you can go, I don't even- Someone wrote me and told me, one of our episodes where we were singing, they're like, I think you can go. I don't even. Someone wrote me and told me in one of their episodes where we were singing, they're like, I think Tig wanted to kill Fortune because I was singing a lot.

And I'm like, Tig was fine. Everybody calmed down. I know, why do people think we're, people write me and like, I saw so and so getting irritated or rolling their, and it's like, we're fine. We're fine. We're doing a comedy podcast. Nobody's irritated with anybody. These are jokes and silliness. But yeah, Thomas just put this up, the Handsome Podcast fan page. That might also be a place to go to. podcast fan page. That might also be a place to go to.

And ask them, do you guys know any lesbians in Birmingham? In Arkansas. I know gays in Birmingham. So it's a lot of gays in Birmingham. But do go to the fan page or go book yourself a ticket on a cruise or get in the car and drive to Arkansas. Go to freaking Arkansas. Make it happen. We wish you the best of luck, Annie,

and we're excited for your new lesbian journey. Yeah, keep us posted, please. Send in a picture when you meet that special someone in the hills and mountains of Arkansas. Eureka Springs. All right, well thank you guys for tuning in and for your questions. Yes, and definitely tell your friends and your loved ones

about this ridiculous, silly show where we are having a good time. And yeah, subscribe and until next time, keep it pretty handsome. Handsome is hosted by me, May Martin, Tignotaro and Fortune Feimster. The show is produced, recorded and edited by Thomas Ouellette. Email us at handsomepod at gmail.com

and please follow us on social media at handsomepod. What a podcast. What a podcast. What a podcast. What a podcast. and please follow us on social4 on your home insurance. No hassle, just savings. You're in good hands with Allstate. Not available in every state based on the national average annual savings for new home insurance customers surveyed in 2023 who switched to Allstate and reported savings. Savings vary.