Handsome - Taylor Tomlinson asks about avoiding burnout
Episode Date: May 28, 2024Comedian Taylor Tomlinson ("After Midnight") asks Fortune, Mae and Tig about how they avoid burnout. Plus frozen grapes, Mae's incredible Mexico vacation, and lots and lots of... FOAM!Handsom...e is hosted by Tig Notaro, Mae Martin, and Fortune FeimsterFollow us on social media: @handsomepodMerch: handsomepod.comWatch on youtube: youtube.com/@handsomepodEmail the show: handsomepod@gmail.comSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Cheers.
Welcome to the handsome pod.
Thank you for having us.
Thank you so much, Fortune.
Oh my gosh, it's my pleasure.
I am Fortune Feimster.
And I am Tig Notaro.
And I am Mae Martin.
And we're handsome.
We are so pretty.
Yeah, here we are in, it feels like on the Titanic
where the rich people would go to smoke their smoke.
Oh.
Oh my God.
We're in person.
Tell me about that. Right now and Tig is grabbing May's hand.
You gotta go to the YouTube page to see what's happening.
Now is this because you.
Well Fortune already told them what was happening.
Is this because you've missed May?
What is this hand situation happening right here?
Very nice.
Handsome.
Hand some.
Some hands.
Tig's holding my hand.
I think that is a good message for all our listeners.
If you're near someone, even a stranger,
just grab their hand.
Grab their hand.
Have you ever been in a play or a stand-up show
where the person on stage goes,
turn to your person on your right,
and just hold their hand and you're like,
oh god, and it's a stranger?
A stand-up show?
Maybe not a stand-up show.
The most jaded audience.
What a lame mask comedian.
That's like the worst thing you could tell my wife to do
is hold a stranger's hand.
Do you guys have to do a full body scrub down
before any sort of-
She does.
Before any sort of like, what?
You know.
Sex of time?
Love making.
Yeah.
I can't even, oh, why did I say that? Love making. Love making. Yeah. I can't even, oh, why did I say that?
Love making.
Love making.
What a weird thing to say.
Wow, okay.
Well, I've missed you too, Tig.
Oh, yes, where were we?
Yeah, yeah, I've really missed you.
It's been like elderly osteoporosis hands.
How does that feel?
You got very handsome hands.
Thank you, I guess that's what I was waiting to hear.
Oh, I don't.
Don't talk about my friend's hands like that.
I can talk about my hands, who cares?
Those filthy ass hands.
May, what have you been up to?
Well, thank you for asking.
You're welcome.
I have been, so I went to Mexico.
I've never noticed your accent.
Yeah, and I'm sure they wouldn't like it if I said it like that to Mexico. I've never noticed your accent. Yeah, and I'm sure they wouldn't like it
if I said it like that in Mexico.
Yeah, I went to Mexico with my girlfriend.
I haven't been on a vacation in a long time.
We went to like- How long?
Like, this was like more than a week on a beach.
Like I haven't done that in five years maybe.
Oh.
Something like that.
It was definitely time for that.
I didn't start vacationing until I got with Stephanie.
Yeah.
Because I was just on tour and living in...
Yeah, when you're single,
you're just gonna go on a solo.
I went on a solo vacation.
But you can get friends together.
I went on a solo vacation to Miami.
And I was like, what am I doing?
Being here.
Wait, what?
This is like you on the bus tour of the...
I was like at the pool at the Ritz Carlton
getting like frozen grapes handed to me.
It was like so hot.
It was the middle of summer.
When was this?
This was, I mean, obviously pre-Jax
and I was single at the time.
I think I was going through it.
Like maybe I had just been dumped or something.
And I was like, I'm gonna live my life to the fullest.
Self-care.
And I went to Miami,
and I even went to see the Beyonce concert.
By myself? By yourself?
Oh my God.
And I paid like, you do not need a boyfriend, huh?
I paid like $150 one way for the Uber because traffic was so bad. I sat in this guy's
Uber forever and I finally had to get out and walk trek to the Beyonce concert. I'm like by myself
sweating. People, this might have been Chelsea Lately days so that people were recognizing me like, hey, like, what are you, I'm like, yeah, I don't know where my friend is.
I'm like, yeah, I don't know where my friend is.
My travel companion.
There was a moment at the Ritz-Carlson pool by myself
where I was like, should I have come by myself?
Were you like reading books or what?
I think I was, yeah, like reading a book.
Were you really reading books?
Probably I was on Instagram or something.
I went to like the,
I was reading some pretty sophisticated novels.
I love that you just,
In Miami.
Yes, yes, yes, I was reading books.
There was a woman in a dress, as you checked in,
that the dress was held champagne flutes.
The dress held champagne flutes?
Yeah, it was like a whole contraption.
And I was like, well, this part was worth it.
Yeah, that's worth the trip.
I went to one time to, you know, like the London dungeons,
like, but it was in Edinburgh and it was the dungeons.
Maybe I talked, I thought it was my special.
It's not a sex thing.
No, I swear.
Oh, okay.
And I went by myself and it's like,
you go through a horror maze and people jump out at you
and you're in a group of guys with all these strangers.
As soon as I arrived, I was like,
oh, okay, this is something you should do with loved ones
because they take a picture of you in front of a green screen
and then give you a key chain of you in a scary,
they've projected a,
so I have this key chain of me by myself
and then going through so scary.
At the beginning of it, this guy's like, I'm the butcher
and I'm going to take you through the maze.
And there are actors in the maze, a few health and safety things.
At no point will any of the actors touch you or grab you in the maze.
I was like, great. Thanks. Thanks.
Bummed. Yeah, I was a little bummed.
I don't I was like, I want to get grabbed in the dungeon.
And then so we go through and at one point.
Grapped in the dungeon sounds dirty, but yes, go on.
Grapped in the dungeon, yeah.
So the lights go off, it's pitch black.
Oh, and the butcher's gone, okay guys, you're on your own.
I'm there with a bunch of families and groups of friends.
And it's pitch black and I feel these hands
going up my back and I'm like remembering
they're not allowed to touch you in the dungeon.
So what is happening?
I'm by myself and so they're kind of coming around my neck.
I'm freaking out.
That's not cool.
I know.
Fortune.
I wish you'd been there dude.
I know because I would have stood up for you.
So the lights go on, I spin around
and there's just this sort of 50 year old woman
who's part of our group, and she just goes.
No, she was trying to scare you?
Yes, and she's with her two teenage daughters,
and they're just like, mom, what the fuck are you doing?
She was just touching strangers in the dungeon.
That is weird.
I get respect for that.
She knew I was by myself, and she was just fucking with me.
That is a bored mom. I would I get respect to it. She knew I was by myself and she was just fucking with me
That is a board mom. Can you imagine doing that yourself?
somebody in front of me
Like the hands are on your neck part though
Is hands around the neck yeah, it's either flirting or these weird windows. It's my first base.
Choking his first base.
She hogtied me and setting me on fire.
It was so like, so how was the experience actually being on
like, hey, with someone in Mexico?
OK, so first of of all keep in mind,
I fell in love with Parvati watching her on the beach.
She's the queen of the beach.
Like she is like survivor, it's Parvati in a bikini.
And she's in a bathing suit right?
In a bathing suit, she's so at home on a beach,
like never sunburned, just like no makeup,
like just look like amazing.
And I'm like a little shrimp,
I'm never in the wild like this.
Shrimp nose.
Shrimp nose Martin's out on the beach.
Who hit your shrimp nose on the mic?
I just did.
Because you burn?
I burn, I get, I'm like, oh my skin's oily,
like I get really.
I burn.
So I'm like feeling really self-conscious,
I've been going to the gym hard
like the two days before the trip and.
For two whole days.
Does that make a difference?
Two whole days.
I went for two whole days. I'm getting pumped for this whole days? Does that make a difference? Two whole days. I went for two whole days.
I'm getting pumped for this trip.
But does that make a difference when you go?
For me, yeah.
Okay.
Sometimes.
God, I wish two days at the gym made a difference for me.
I don't know man, just like confidence wise.
Yeah, okay.
So then we go in and I'm like,
and she's swimming, she can dive and stuff.
First she's laughing at me
because of the way I dive or something.
And then we're standing in the water
and I guess I thought this would be like
charmingly, like roguishly handsome of me.
I don't know what, I thought this was confident and cool.
I go, Parv, give me your sunglasses.
So she takes off her sunglasses and hands them to me
and I just toss them in the sea.
Oh.
And I thought it'd be funny.
I throw them like 10 feet away and then I'll go get them. Yeah. But I thought it'd be funny to go, give me your shades and then just throw them in the sea, like, and I thought it would be funny, I throw them like 10 feet away and then I'll go get them.
But I thought it would be funny to go,
give me your shades and then just throw them in the sea.
Yeah, that's 10 feet away.
Hilarious.
I don't know what, as soon as they left my hands,
they were gone forever.
Yeah, they sunk.
I looked for 45 minutes.
But we were only up to our waist.
But it's an ocean.
It's an ocean.
With a tide.
And you didn't know that.
How was I to know it was an ocean? You're just little me. I'm just little me and you didn't know that how was I to know?
I thought when she pissed her face was like why did you do that? I was like, I don't know I don't know why I did that. I'm
And I looked for so long and I couldn't find them no find them in the ocean
In the whole scene You know how there's like couldn't find them. Oh no. Couldn't find them in the ocean. No. The whole sea.
In the whole sea.
No.
But you know how there's like tides and like the undertow.
Oh my, I know that.
Right, all those words.
They just, things get moving around.
Did she have backup?
They're gonna end up on a shark's face.
Yeah.
Did she have backup shades?
No, I gave her mine.
Oh, that was nice.
So handsome of you.
So she goes to get like a cranial sacral treatment.
What's that?
It's like they gently move your skull bones
and they talk to you about your-
It's very relaxing.
It's very relaxing and they talk about your childhood trauma.
Oh, that's not relaxing.
I know.
So she comes out of it though.
She's like, I've been crying for an hour.
I feel amazing.
Like I released something. I'm like, sign me up. This is good. She's like I've been crying for an hour. I feel amazing. Like I released something
I'm like sign me up. This is good. Oh, I know so I go to against
First of all the guys like the past doesn't matter. It's not real
It doesn't exist you got to be in the now and what are you feeling now?
And all I'm feeling is like a bit horny like he's you know, I'm lying down
No All I'm feeling is a bit horny. I'm lying down. I'm feeling horny. You said that to him?
No, no.
I don't know.
And then they're like, what are you feeling, horny?
Okay, I'm calling the police.
Yeah, yeah.
Wait, can I ask a question?
Was it the same person Parvati had?
Yeah, he was the only therapist at our hotel
and he had a translator in the room
and he was this amazing guy like
There was something about him his aura and he would he was cracking you and anyway, he puts on rubber gloves
He goes in my mouth
What I know what thank you fortune what was there a heads up or he just started sticking his hands
There's no way and are you sure he worked at the hotel? I would be okay.
There's no way I would be okay with this part.
So this is.
I don't want someone's, I don't want
to get a glove on, that's weird.
How do you think Jax would have dealt with that?
She would have walked out.
She would have walked out.
So this, but Parv loves this kind of thing
and this is like for your jaw tension, he's like,
and so the translator goes,
he's gonna put his hands in your mouth now.
I'm like, oh, is he now?
Okay.
Do I have any say in this?
Yeah, it's just snap the gloves on,
and he goes in and it's like super painful,
but it cracks my jaw and it does feel amazing,
and then he does go like, where are you?
I'm like, my childhood, and then I did cry.
Really?
I cried it up.
Wait, were you holding it, tension in your jaw maybe?
It was like, I don't even know what made me-
Are you a detective?
You look like a detective.
So he cracks your mouth.
Yeah.
And you start crying.
You start crying and you're back to your childhood.
Yeah, he's holding me and he goes-
And this is vacation.
This is vacation, yeah.
And I'm sunburned and I'm covered.
He goes.
Shrimp nose and such.
Oh, shrimp nose is shriveling up.
And then he goes, what do you, where are you?
And I'm like, are you still horny?
Are you still horny?
Anyway, but it was this amazing treatment.
I leave, I go out, I so desperately want to have
as transcendent an experience as part of.
And wait, what'd this run you, how much?
Oh, something insane.
Yeah, of course.
Isn't it a fancy hotel?
Somebody put their hands in your mouth, ain't cheap.
Yeah.
It ain't cheap.
It should be.
It should be free.
But if he's getting gloves out, this is expensive.
It felt like a lot of money for 50 minutes
of crying and bone cracking.
Yeah. Then I get out, I go to tell Parva, I go, well, yeah, I cried. It was amazing. And we go to bed. We have a romantic night. We go to bed.
Well, yeah.
Was there love making, as I like to say?
You did come up with a...
No, never mind.
You didn't come up with a, no nevermind. You didn't come up with what?
We came up with a like Mexico role play that was pretty good.
Oh, okay.
Let's hear about it.
I don't know if she'd like me talking about it.
She probably's not gonna like that.
I don't care, I would.
Our listeners would.
Are you senior?
We're not doing this show to please Bervady.
What's your name, senior?
No, all I'll say is.
El Jefe, the boss.
The characters were the captain and the cabin boy,
and she was the captain.
Oh wow.
It was good.
That's it.
There you go, handsoms.
Yeah, we have this very romantic night,
then we go to bed, then I'm like,
oh I'm so, you know, I feel lighter,
my childhood trauma's gone. I wake up, 1 a.m., I'm like, I'm so, you know, I feel lighter, my childhood trauma's gone.
I wake up, 1 a.m., I'm like, oh boy.
Oh no.
Like, whatever was on those gloves,
I am about to purge in every way.
Wait, wait, what?
Yeah.
Like throw up?
So I sprint to the bathroom, I am,
to spare the listeners, just it's like,
Satan is in my body, like.
So this is like part two of your diarrhea at the Airbnb.
So, so Harvardie has really seen you.
Poor Harvardie. I mean, poor Harvardie.
It's whenever I want to be romantic too.
Like when this was like a really romantic night and I'm trying not to wake her up.
I'm in a little bathroom stall with no window.
I'm like, just don't wake her up.
By the way, it doesn't sound romantic,
but we'll just have to believe.
You think that like, you think there was some kind
of bacteria or something on his glove maybe?
That's all I can think.
So then finally, I thought I'm gonna die,
it was diarrhea, it was vomiting.
Or did you drink water?
Oh God.
Did you eat a salad?
Probably. Sometimes when you, water? Oh God. Did you eat a salad? Probably.
Sometimes when you, sometimes on the salad.
Sometimes when you eat healthy.
No, no in Mexico.
It could kill you.
In Mexico, like washing the lettuce.
I know.
I should have let a guy with his deer.
I've been there.
So finally I'm like, I think I'm gonna pass out.
So I go, reluctantly I go, perv, pervety.
And then she comes around the corner. Cabin boy is calling you. I'm like pass out so I go reluctantly I go her pervert II and then she comes
around the corner
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rating and your rate could increase with high-risk driving. So she comes around
the corner at the exact moment that I'm and and I'm naked on the toilet, like, and at the exact moment that I, anyway.
Like, throw up and poo at the same time.
She sees this coming out of my body.
Like she just naked on the toilet and she just is like.
Should we go to commercial?
Yeah, oh my God.
I didn't know I was gonna tell this part of the story.
Yeah, we didn't know either.
I'm so sorry.
It's fine, we're invested.
I hope Parv doesn't listen to this one and relive it.
It was a real intimacy test.
She probably will listen to this one.
Yeah, she does tend to.
So you, everything comes out.
Yeah, and she started laughing to be honest,
because she was so shocked.
That's good.
Okay, well then she loves you.
Yeah, she loves you.
And then I had a bath and she was sort of,
was like being really nice and she was like, can I go to bed now? I was like, please leave me, like, yeah. And then I had a bath and she was sort of, was like being really nice and she was like,
can I go to bed now?
I was like, please leave me, like get away.
Leave me.
Don't leave me.
Yeah.
Have you seen her?
No.
Get rid of any sort of waste from her body?
Absolutely not.
With no warning.
She has been in so many jungles living off dirt and grubs
and well water that I think she has steel intestines.
Like her parasites are just eating whatever
that rubber glove is putting in there.
See that's why I would not have one of that
glove in my mouth.
I know man.
Oh there's many reasons I wouldn't.
Yeah there's other reasons too but man,
as soon as you said glove in your mouth
I was like oh boy.
But the release, I mean, I really felt amazing after.
Your whole body purged.
Not after that, but like after.
The lovemaking.
The treatment, like I'm crying and I went up to space.
I went to outer space, I felt really safe.
At least you didn't do that purge during the lovemaking.
That I have never in my life.
It's gonna happen.
I feel like the history you and Parvati have now with you
just like getting everything out of your body.
Ethan, that's the next time.
Oh, for sure.
Were you fine by the next day?
No, it lasted about three days.
It was the whole second half of my trip basically.
I was like trying to power through,
trying to be fun, cool, romantic,
but like really struggling.
But I'm better now.
Do you have a sensitive system in general?
I have a fragile constitution.
Really?
Yeah, you?
Well, we know TIG does.
We know TIG does.
TIG's fragile from the tip of her toes.
We know TIG's got a breath.
The whole day and night, I'm trying to carefully walk everywhere.
I'm checking any sort of horrible reactions
drugs can have on me.
You're holding carefully to the railings.
You're like, yeah.
Yeah, I'm eating anything that's clean.
Probiotics, probiotics.
I'm pretty sturdy, this big garbage disposal over here.
You don't get like bad times.
Sometimes, I mean yeah, occasionally.
So you can just like eat garbage and be like,
let's go party.
Yeah. Wow.
I often. Unfortunately, I wish my body
would reject that stuff a little bit more,
so I didn't indulge.
That stuff sits well with me. What does? Like, like. Bad food? I would reject that stuff a little bit more so I didn't indulge. I mean obviously.
That stuff sits well with me.
What does?
Like. Bad food.
Yeah, like if I'm hungover or I've been sick,
I need like a burger and a Coke and then I'm like.
I am laid out in excruciating pain.
Really? Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah.
You need some pink bismuth.
I needed pink. Pink bismuth. I needed pepto, pink, pink pepto bismuth. You need some pink bismuth. I needed pink.
Pink bismuth.
I needed pepto, pink, pink pepto bismuth.
Pink pepto bismuth.
I needed that.
You should go up to the counter
and order pink pepto bismuth.
Oh man, I needed it so bad.
That's like when I took my mother-in-law
to New Orleans and Mississippi,
and are you familiar with gumbo?
Yeah, slow cooked soupy.
Sure.
Okay.
Seafood.
So we're at a restaurant in New Orleans
and she orders gumbo soup.
Is that funny to you?
Because it's just gumbo.
It's just gumbo.
She was like, yes, one bowl of gumbo soup, please.
I like it, I like it.
I can see May saying that I would
say that it's like I just discovered that I pronounce so ho house wrong I
say so ho house so house I say how do you say well okay what I'm like okay
the sidewalk is made out of concrete. Concrete. Asphalt. The other word starts with a C.
Cement.
Cement.
What do you say?
Cement.
Yeah.
You say cement?
I don't.
Tig does, I'm assuming.
No way.
May just look to me like, how dare you?
I say cement.
You say cement?
I'm not gonna be ashamed.
Cement.
I like it.
That sounds like a type of gum.
Okay, what about when you, for cars or your life,
you have to buy?
Insurance.
Insurance.
Insurance.
Insurance.
Insurance.
Insurance.
Insurance.
Insurance.
Insurance.
Didn't I say insurance?
I think you say insurance.
Yeah.
Huh. Huh. You know what? I think you say insurance. Yeah. Huh.
Huh.
You know what?
I actually don't, if I'm really honest right now,
I don't think I say cement.
You brought it up.
I know.
Why did I say that?
What do you think you say?
I think I say cement.
Now that I'm being honest, let's go back to that.
I don't say cement. Guys, let's go back to that.
I don't think cement.
I can't live with this.
I'm running around in my mind going,
I don't know that that sounds familiar.
The episode comes out and Stephanie's like,
you've literally never said cement.
I have a friend who is dating this girl
and I met her and I was like,
oh, May, what's your name?
She's like Adelia.
And I went, oh, Adelia, nice to meet you.
She goes, no, but it's okay, no one can say it.
I'm like, no, no, tell me, I wanna know it.
And my friend goes,
now even I can't pronounce my own girlfriend's name.
I'm like, what?
Is she French?
She's Russian?
And she goes, Adelia.
And I go, Adelia.
I said it exactly, she's like, no.
No, you can just call me Adele.
I'm like, no, I wanna know your name and your boyfriend should know your name. And did you say, okay, you can just call me Adele. I'm like, no, I wanna know your name
and your boyfriend should know your name.
And did you say, okay, Adele.
Okay, Adele, yeah.
Adele.
Yeah, it was very strange.
Huh, as Russians.
Adele Dazeem.
Adele Dazeem, that was one of the greatest.
Do you remember that?
Where John Travolta was.
She has no clue.
You know who Idina Menzel is, right?
Oh, yes, I remember this.
Yeah, okay. John Travolta. From the award show. Yeah, John Idina Menzel is, right? Oh, yes, I remember this. Yeah, from the award show.
Yeah, John Travolta was like,
she was about to sing a song from Frozen,
and he, I think, was the moment.
And now that's who that was about.
Idina Menzel?
Wait, what?
Which part?
You thought it was about Adele?
No, I don't think I knew who the person was.
The real person.
Yeah. Oh yeah, Idina Menzel. He called her Nadel Dazeem, right? I don't think I knew who the person was the real person. Yeah
Nadele disease right the hell disease
Our internet like lost their minds
But she's been such so funny like she's brought it up at different times I was really had a lot of fun with it
Yeah, but it did in the moment, stink for her,
because she was having this big moment
at the Oscars, I think.
She's so beloved in the, especially the Broadway
singing world.
Moments like that make me really like...
Every gay man's losing their minds.
How do you not know what I'm pronouncing? That's me as a gay man losing my mind. That's your good friend, yeah. losing their minds like
Come on hit can't hold me back anymore. Let it go, let it go.
Your turn, Tig.
Let it go.
You watch Frozen, the movie?
I have seen bits and pieces of it.
My sons were into it when they were maybe three
or something.
I feel like by now your sons are watching documentaries
about Babe Ruth. And murder.
Yeah, my son Finn definitely,
he watches old baseball games and football games
from like the 80s and 90s.
Oh, gosh.
And he's also a little birder.
Oh, he's into birder?
Yes, yes, he bird watches.
It's so cute.
That's cute.
And then Max is, he likes watching those,
the top 10 most scary monsters in the ocean.
Yes.
And he remembers it all.
Oh my God.
I had the experience the other day
of getting to watch a child watch Wizard of Oz
for the first time.
It was this child who I live with, this amazing angel, her friend was over for a play date and they put on Wizard of Oz for the first time. It was this child who I live with, this amazing angel,
her friend was over for a play date
and they put on Wizard of Oz.
And it was like, oh my God, this friend has not seen,
and didn't know that it was gonna go from black and white
to color and the munchkins were gonna arrive.
And it was, I just watched her face and she was like,
I mean, like that gay man with a dog.
And she's five, is that right?
Five, just mind blown.
Yeah.
Have you ever seen a child watch The Wizard of Oz
for the last time?
Oh my god.
What?
That really cracked me up.
I don't even know what that means.
I don't know what it means,
but it's dark for some reason, I don't know.
I watched Dick Van Dyke watch Mary Poppins.
What?
You did?
That would bring it to you.
Back in the day?
Yeah, well at the premiere.
At the...
I'm Benjamin Buttons over here.
Fortune was on set watching.
No, I was a journalist for seven years.
I think I'm mention that.
And I went to the re-premiere of Mary Poppins.
God, this would have been like 2007-ish maybe.
Maybe the same year you went to Miami?
No, Miami was a couple years later.
And I interviewed Julie Andrews on the carpet,
which was like mind-blowing.
I interviewed her twice back in the day,
also at the Shrek premiere, very similar vibes to Mary Poppins.
And then they played the movie in the movie theater,
and I was seated kind of diagonal across the aisle from Dick Van Dyke,
and I watched him watch himself singing the songs.
I mean, my mind was blown.
That's very moving.
And he was in the recent one too.
He's in his 90s.
Yeah.
I feel like somebody told me that my mother is in the...
Mary Poppins?
Yeah, like when all the people,
like she had gone, my family had gone to California
when it was being filmed.
I always assumed it was filmed in England,
but yeah, of course it was.
Oh yeah, was it filmed in California?
No, of course it was, that makes sense, doesn't it?
I don't know, I just assumed it was filmed in England.
Thomas, where was it filmed?
She's like the only Brit in it, isn't she?
They're all in Burbank.
Burbank, really?
My mind is blown.
And I think she's in like, obviously an extra,
like in maybe when all the women are going to
like not audition.
All the suffrages.
They're lined up to be the,
Yeah.
The, the nanny.
The nanny.
How funny.
That's crazy.
How, I have to ask my brother about that,
but I just have that memory.
That's insane.
I went on, my friend was going to,
I think they were screening the Indiana Jones movies
or something at the Dolby Theater,
and Harrison Ford was gonna be there,
and he was like, I can't believe I got to watch
Harrison Ford watch these. And then I went to a restaurant around the corner from there and saw Harrison Ford was gonna be there, and he was like, I can't believe I got to watch Harrison Ford watch these.
And then I went to a restaurant around the corner from there
and saw Harrison Ford, it was during it.
Like he'd gone, he'd done the red carpet.
And then he bounced, and he was just having a whiskey
at the bar with his wife.
He was like, I'm watching him drink a whiskey.
Yeah, yeah, it was cool.
Yeah, a lot of those celebrities usually duck out
of the movie, because they've seen it,
but Dick Van Dyke was.
It's hard to watch.
It was just Dyke and Dyke.
Dyke squint.
Dyke over there, Dyke over here.
Imagine if he said that to you.
Like funny if you say it weird.
Look at us, a couple of Dykes.
Couple of Dykes.
I did use that one before, I will come clean.
He was at the Comedy Store watching the show one night
and I was on the lineup and right before I went
It was my turn. They were like whoever the comic was was like we have the legendary
Dick Van Dyke in the audience and he stood up and ran clapped and then they brought me out and I was like
Should someone say Dyke?
That's good, thank you.
I can't believe how many times you've crossed paths with this guy.
I know he's just in my orbit.
I can't believe how many times you've crossed paths with this guy. I know he's just in my orbit.
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And I, because I started to think, oh, this doesn't matter.
Who needs to make their bed?
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it was such a positive way to start the day.
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Here's what my favorite thing is about what you just said.
I thought you were gonna say, and no offense to you,
but I thought you were saying that when they brought you
up on stage they were like the legendary fortune themester.
Not to say you're not a legend, we're all legends.
They would introduce me that way.
That would be a lot.
You're going up into comedy star.
That would be a lot, that would be hard to walk out to
and then you have to entertain people. You're going up and the comedy's starting. That would be a lot. That would be hard to walk out to.
And then you have to entertain people
where they're like, what?
Or explain that there was a misunderstanding.
I think I don't think he meant that.
But yeah, this is for Dick Van Dyke.
Well, good for you.
Thank you.
Well, should we get to our half question?
That's why we're here.
All right.
We got a really good asker today.
Today's handsome question asker
is a very hilarious standup comedian, Taylor Tomlinson,
who has three wildly successful Netflix specials.
She hosts After Midnight,
who we all got to experience that show with.
We had the best time.
Had a really good time there.
She's just killing it.
She's a younger comic and has been blowing.
Blowing what?
I don't even know what I was gonna say.
I was gonna say blowing it out of the water.
Blowing up?
Because she's only like 30.
Oh. Is that right?
Yeah, and she's like, her specials are like
some of the most popular on Netflix.
Let's see, uh, hear what Taylor Tomlinson has to ask.
Hey, handsome podcast. I have a question.
So all three of you are obviously very, very successful and very, very busy.
My question is, how do you avoid getting burned out and sick while you are working so much?
Ooh, well. When did she send this question in? getting burned out and sick while you were working so much.
Ooh, well.
When did she send this question in?
When she was sick.
Okay, I was gonna say.
Well that checks out, yeah, yeah.
That checks out.
Is that when we did the show?
When we did after midnight, she was sick
and then I caught whatever she had like two days later.
Really?
What were you two up to?
Nothing, I just was, I was standing closest to her.
You were a little flirting, according to her.
Electric sexual chemistry between Tig and Taylor.
Yeah, because she actually, Taylor got mono
while, right before she took.
Mononucleosis, is that what it stands for?
Yeah, it's not like in high school people got that a lot.
Yeah, why? It's like we call the kissing, is that what it is for it's not like in high school people got that a lot. Yeah. Yeah
Why it's like we call the kissing. Yeah, is it disease? What is it? It's like in elementary school
You get lice and you go to junior high school. Yeah, you get mononucleosis. Yeah, and then you go to Mexico you get
Okay, let's be clear that We're not gonna get Mexico that bad rap.
We've only had it twice in your life.
And once in Nepal when I was 20.
But only three times.
Only three times in your life?
We've been on our pod for two of those.
Wait, three times in your life you've had diarrhea?
Like that I, like significant sort of.
Do you guys remember,
when you're going into first and you feel the big words diarrhea diarrhea diarrhea diarrhea diarrhea diarrhea diarrhea diarrhea diarrhea
diarrhea diarrhea diarrhea diarrhea diarrhea diarrhea diarrhea diarrhea diarrhea diarrhea
diarrhea diarrhea diarrhea diarrhea diarrhea diarrhea diarrhea diarrhea diarrhea diarrhea
diarrhea diarrhea diarrhea diarrhea diarrhea diarrhea diarrhea diarrhea diarrhea diarrhea diarrhea
diarrhea diarrhea diarrhea diarrhea diarrhea diarrhea diarrhea diarrhea diarrhea diarrhea
diarrhea diarrhea diarrhea diarrhea diarrhea diarrhea diarrhea diarrhea diarrhea diarrhea diarrhea
diarrhea diarrhea diarrhea diarrhea diarrhea diarrhea diarrhea diarrhea diarrhea diarrhea
diarrhea diarrhea diarrhea diarrhea diarrhea diarrhea diarrhea diarrhea diarrhea diarrhea
diarrhea diarrhea diarrhea diarrhea diarrhea diarrhea diarrhea diarrhea diarrhea diarrhea
diarrhea diarrhea diarrhea diarrhea diarrhea diarrhea diarrhea diarrhea diarrhea diarrhea diarrhea
diarrhea diarrhea diarrhea diarrhea diarrhea diarrhea diarrhea diarrhea diarrhea
diarrhea diarrhea diarrhea diarrhea diarrhea diarrhea diarrhea diarrhea diarrhea
diarrhea diarrhea diarrhea diarrhea diarrhea diarrhea diarrhea diarrhea diarrhea diarrhea
diarrhea diarrhea diarrhea diarrhea diarrhea diarrhea diarrhea diarrhea diarrhea diarrhea
diarrhea diarrhea diarrhea diarrhea diarrhea diarrhea diarrhea diarrhea diarrhea
diarrhea diarrhea diarrhea diarrhea diarrhea diarrhea diarrhea diarrhea diarrhea diarrhea
diarrhea diarrhea diarrhea diarrhea diarrhea diarrhea diarrhea diarrhea diarrhea
diarrhea diarrhea diarrhea diarrhea diarrhea diarrhea diarrhea diarrhea diarrhea diarrhea First and you feel a big burst
In the home and you've got your shorts full of foam.
And then you do have to go, there you go.
Your shorts are full of foam?
Because this is shorts.
Did you have foam?
I had no foam.
What rhymed?
I almost died of a disease that caused diarrhea.
You had no foam?
No foam.
Have you ever heard that song?
I've heard the first line and the pfft, pfft,
but I have not heard about foam.
Can you believe I knew all the bases?
That was great.
I wanna, I hope that.
You know what's funny is May is hitting all the bases,
like the sexual bases and the diarrhea bases.
Yeah, well, what did we say?
First base is choking.
Oh, that's true.
But yeah, Taylor got mono right before she filmed
this last special.
Oh, really?
Yeah, and has been having, so,
but she also was like going like crazy.
And I would always-
She just filmed a special?
Well, it's already out.
She filmed it like November or something.
And she had diarrhea during that?
Not diarrhea.
No, no. We in like November or something. And she had diarrhea during that? Not diarrhea, no.
We can't spread that rumor.
She had, Taylor Thompson had diarrhea during her special.
All the cutaways.
She was running us.
But Taylor got a lot of traction
because she's one of the first young comics
to really talk about mental health stuff
and just be very open about that kind of thing.
What about burnout and stuff, that's cool.
Burnout, yeah, like not, like just being more real about that kind of thing. What about burnout and stuff? That's cool.
Burnout, yeah, like not, like just being more real about stuff.
She talked to her last special about being diagnosed with bipolar.
Just talking about things other people her age aren't talking about.
But yeah, she, I always, like we'll have coffee from time to time and I, it's funny because
I definitely burned the candle at both ends and I'm always telling her like, you gotta take care of yourself and work life balance.
I mean, I don't know how you do your schedule with your morning radio shows
and touring and- I think I went too much this last one.
Yeah, I'm like, I'm going to really prescribe some R&R.
Yeah, I'm not going to go on tour this- I got a couple of casino shows this summer and then no
You should get my agent who told me to take three years
Told you just don't work for three years my my booking agent so funny
He was like he was like you should take like three years off and I was like
Do you do you fall off? Yeah, and are you able to do that like to rest and goal maybe there's a
way that we could do the handsome pod in a very restful manner in we in sleeping
bags in our backs in robes in robes we got little night spooning spooning oh my
god but the head the handsome pods Pod's not stressful. Fork and spoon all night.
Traveling and touring is probably the most exhausting.
Yeah.
A million percent.
Yeah, so if I'm off the road, I can handle,
I can juggle a lot of things, but once I'm on the road
and I was doing like three to four cities a weekend.
No, I'm fragile then.
This tour was a year and a half long,
105 cities, 150 shows,
and it backed up from another 100 city tour.
That was like 120 shows.
I filmed Fubar, wedged in between those,
so three years, 200 cities, 300 shows,
and a season of Fubar.
So what do you? It was too much. Is there, do you have a trick? 200 cities, 300 shows, and a season of FUBAR.
It was too much.
Do you have a trick?
Like are you sleeping?
How do you do it?
How do you do it?
How do you do it?
How do you do it?
Do it!
I mean we all tour, so you guys know what that's like.
I don't really.
You're not made for that?
I'm too fragile.
I used to tour in the UK,
but everything's so close together.
You can kind of.
Tiggs road dogged it for many, many years.
I do try when I'm home to get that seven, eight hour sleep.
Like that's pretty important to me,
where I will say like,
oh, I can't do that thing that early
because I know I have this other stuff late that night
and I gotta try to get this sleep.
Do you have trouble sleeping at all?
No, I'm pretty good about going right to bed.
Leonardo da Vinci famously slept for 15 minutes every hour.
Oh, that's, I could not do that.
Why would anybody do that?
Why not?
Can you imagine every hour he'd just go for 15 minutes?
That seems like narcolepsy.
I don't believe that.
I don't believe that, yeah. He died on my birthday. minutes. I don't believe that. I don't believe that. I don't believe that.
He died on my birthday.
The balance I don't have is obviously
I need to eat better.
That suffers.
I put on, I packed on some pounds.
You're living in hotels.
Early in this tour.
I've lost 30.
You look great.
Thank you.
You look handsome.
I appreciate it.
I'm trying, I'm trying to,
at some point I'm like,
okay, I gotta really,
because my skin starts to get bad. My face is big. I'm big. I'm trying, I'm trying to, at some point I'm like, okay, I gotta really, because my skin starts to get bad, my face is big,
I'm big, I'm like, all right, I gotta,
the Jax is always like, we gotta be healthier.
I definitely need to make more time for that balance
with my wife, you know, I want her to feel like
we're not just living for me to work.
I want us to like enjoy things and take trips.
In your mind, are you building towards something?
Are you like, I'm gonna make this much money
and then I'm gonna.
I don't know, I guess maybe I don't have that vision.
Do you wanna be like, the biggest,
if somebody was like, down the road,
you could be the biggest comedian that ever has ever.
No, mm-mm, I'm not trying to be that.
I want to be, I guess if there is a goal, it is I want to
do this, what I love, and make a good living at it. But I don't need or want to be the most
famous female comedian of all time. That is not my goal. What about male? Or mail, or mail. Like I don't, I'm not trying to be in arenas.
I like just like comfortably selling tickets.
I love that people care and that wanna see the shows.
I'm happy with like these two, 3,000 seat theaters.
And it brings you joy.
Yeah, but I'm not trying to do like 10, 15,000.
So the goal is to like have success
and to do this for a long time,
but I'm not trying to have this be my entire life.
I think one day I want to vanish.
Vanish?
Yeah, I kind of want to go,
not a beach as we've covered,
but go to the woods one day.
Oh, interesting.
And just chill and play guitar and stuff.
Yeah, maybe Northern Ontario with like a little family
or something, I don't know.
Like my family.
Not a random family.
Oh, okay, so like a house.
You don't wanna just like wander into the woods.
Parvati looks away and you scurry into the woods.
And you're whittling.
Do you know about the Ernest Shackleton,
like one of those Arctic expeditions?
I think it was Shackleton. He, this, oh, I don't have about the Ernest Shackleton, or one of those Arctic expeditions. I think it was Shackleton.
Oh, I don't have any of the facts,
but this guy famously, they were starving,
they're in the ice, and this guy went,
"'I'm just going for a walk.
"'I may be some time.'"
And he just walked into the snow.
I may be some time?
I may be some time.
Why does it sound weird?
I might be gone for some time.
Oh, I see.
And so wait, was he meaning to disappear?
Yeah, that was like his goodbye.
Oh wow, that's like that movie, Into the Wild, right?
Yeah. Oh my God.
I was obsessed with that book.
Really? Like.
What's that?
Into the Wild?
Yeah.
Oh my God.
Two against one.
Is this a guy went into the-
It was also made into a movie, was that Emile Hirsch?
Oh, that guy, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Where he goes into Alaska.
I think Sean Penn directed it.
It's like one of the five movies I've ever seen.
I was so into the book.
I was like, I almost say don't read it.
We might never see you again.
I think I might read it.
Cause you think that would make May
wanna go into the Alaskan wilderness?
Well, listen, I don't know.
Well, it doesn't end well. No, but
I'm sorry to spoiler alert.
But is it really juicy survival stuff and just calm?
Yeah. Yeah.
I don't cover it up.
OK, I'm going to read it and then we'll do book club.
I'll on the pod. I'll say what I...
Duh duh duh duh pip pip boop boop.
This book's only been out forever, no spoilers.
Should we start a book club?
Oh please don't let me read.
Well you would just be on Instagram.
Look, you would just go to Miami, sit by the pool.
Can I have some frozen grapes?
The woman in the flute dress comes over.
You guys are reading and I'm scrolling on Instagram.
They're delicious.
Don't yell at me.
You've never had them and you love fruit.
You love wild blooms.
And you love fruit.
Take some of your grapes.
Put them in the freezer.
Put them in the freezer.
Is that one of your famous
Let them sit for like an hour.
How long do you think it takes for them to freeze?
Leave them in overnight.
Three hours I say.
Overnight.
I say.
And especially on a hot day, pop those suckers in.
Am I scared I'd choke?
What if you used to
Well you gotta chew.
Don't just swallow.
Why are you yelling at me? On our Joy Cow Show. What if you used a frozen grape as like an ice cube in a glass of wine?
My friend's dad was always trying to push frozen grapes on the family as like a healthy snack and one time he said
Maybe you just use British.'s like, take a grape,
but we could call them G'kools.
G'kools?
G'kools, and everyone was like, what?
He's like, G for grape, and then cool.
Oh, G'kools.
G'kools.
G'kools.
And did it take off?
No, he never lived it down in the family.
I think in general frozen grapes have not taken off,
just as an item, but I think they should.
I've heard about them.
I prefer them frozen to not frozen.
They scare me.
So what is an iced wine then?
An iced wine?
An iced wine.
Isn't that when the grapes are frozen
when you make the wine?
Oh, I don't know.
Oh, cause that's a Canadian thing, right?
What are we talking about?
Chime in on the social media.
There is a thing called iced wine.
Iced wine.
I believe that's a Canadian wine.
Oh, when people put ice in their wine?
No, it's like a sweet dessert wine called ice wine.
And I think it's...
Thomas knows he's Canadian.
Thomas is Canadian, yeah.
Isn't it Canadian though?
I've seen it in the, what's it called?
Duty-free area of Canada.
Oh my God, I also never noticed your accent.
It's in Canada.
Do you shop in the duty free?
Not really, but I pass through there.
Well, of course.
And they have a whole big case of iced wine.
I remember being a kid and flipping through the magazine
on the plane, because you're bored,
and then you see a little stuffed animal on a toy plane,
and I would yearn for it. And I'd be like, please, can I get this?
My parents would be like, no, we're not going to get that.
And you're going to be like, I need it.
I need it.
So I'm curious, you two seem healthier than me.
What do you all do for to stay stay healthy when you're busy?
I don't feel like a healthy person.
I feel like my equilibrium gets easily off
where I get tired and my skin's bad
and my stomach's upset.
I wanna get more sturdy, especially
because I'm about to be filming for four months
and doing night shoots and I'm in it a lot
and then when I'm not in it I'm on set.
I gotta be a good, inspiring leader.
I can't be in the corner shitting myself.
What can they do to get sturdier?
I'm trying to get myself sturdy every day.
You know what I mean.
None of us know how to get sturdier.
I'm gonna Google it. I mean, getting what I mean right? It's like a delicate. So none of us know how to get sturdier. Yeah.
I don't know.
I'm gonna Google it.
I mean.
Well, getting enough sleep, right?
Sleep is huge.
That's gotta be a big one.
Well, I'm always just trying to pull back on working.
Yeah, me too.
That's, I have time scarcity and I'm like, yeah.
I mean, I certainly enjoy what I do and,
but I also, I just, I've really become somebody
that I just love being at my house.
I love taking walks, I love treading water,
I love just all of that simple stuff.
Like a routine as well, routine is very grounded.
Yeah, I love it, and you know,
I certainly went for it nonstop for years.
And I'm still busy, but it just doesn't appeal to me
as much, that lifestyle of like, no, no.
I love, like we just went on a two week family vacation.
So it was, we went and saw my family in Austin.
Then we went over, flew into,
went to see my family in Mississippi
and Easter egg hunts, like in the towns really small
and they have the Easter egg hunt for the whole town
in the park and our kids just had such a blast
with their little Cajun cousins.
They'll remember it forever.
Oh my, well we've been going there for Easter
and then yeah, we just had so much fun
and it's that kind of stuff where I'm,
at one point I'm just sitting there,
we're in Colorado after that
and we're just sitting there in the hot tub,
the four of us.
And to have my son tell me that he loves having me
and Stephanie as his parents.
Oh, stop it, in the hot tub, you told you that?
Yeah, Stephanie had taken our other son in to get cleaned up
after being in the chlorine and we were sitting there
and he was just, they called me Mayor,
and he was like, Mayor, I love having you and Mommy
as our parents.
And I was like, gosh.
That is so sweet.
Help me.
That is so sweet.
It is those little moments where you're like,
and they're not little, it's so massive.
And it's just like, how am I this lucky?
And these kind of moments I'm missing
if I'm going all the time.
And it's just, it's the best.
Well, that's the interesting thing about not having kids,
which that is my choice.
It is harder to kind of create,
create, no.
Family?
Like a magical moment.
Like, tradition.
Some same tradition.
Yes, yes.
You know what I mean?
Because.
You're so mobile.
I feel like a lot of traditions are created for kids,
right? That's true.
Like our family does this, and we used to do this,
and when it's just the two of you,
you're like, well we can do whatever we want
and then you time, which is great, I love that.
But it does leave us with less traditions and less like.
But you can get that through friends.
And like if you started taking,
like we could start planning a handsome trip every year.
I still think we should all ditch our families
and spend Christmas together every year.
Right, we're time-stamped still.
Max and Sam would be completely fine.
We play music all week.
But yeah, so I need to be more conscious of like,
because I don't have kids, I can just go into work mode
like so hardcore, tunnel vision for days.
I'm juggling like 15 things, but I love it.
No part of me is like, ugh, I'm tired, work.
Well, I'm like, I love work.
So anytime I'm complaining-ish about being tired,
it is all still going through this thing of,
I am loving working.
But I have to remember, that's not Jax's journey.
So I have to come out of that tunnel
and be like, okay, what can we do for us
and what is our tradition?
Yeah, what would be a weird adventure we could go on?
Yeah.
You know what Stephanie and I put together
when we first became heavily involved?
Maybe I've mentioned this, but like a box of suggestions.
Oh really?
Cool.
Where you each write out just a million different suggestions
and put them in a box.
Of what you guys can do to do it?
Yeah, yeah.
Oh interesting.
And then you shake that up.
Actually that's how I proposed to her.
I remember saying to Kate Mccoochie,
I was like, God, I wanna propose to Stephanie by having her pull out
Will You Marry Me from our activity box.
Oh, that's cool.
Oh, yeah.
And Kate was like, oh, geez Tig, that would be great.
And I said, yeah, but it might take years
for her to get to that.
And she was like, remove all the things that are in there
and just throw in Will You Marry Me? And I's like, remove all the things that are in there and just throw in William and Mary me.
And I was like, oh my God, I'm a stupid person.
And so that's what I did.
I did think of that right away.
Just so you know.
That's what I did.
Yeah, like we'll just take them all out
and put a bunch of William and Mary me's in there.
And we did it.
She pulled it out.
That's how it was.
Oh wow.
And then she also, she framed all of the will you marry me's.
Aw.
Yeah, anyway.
Whatever.
So cute, that's a good idea.
I've never heard that before.
I've never, I can't believe we've never heard
the story of your engagement.
Yeah, I've never heard that before.
You should do that with, like if you come up with
just a list of things.
Things that she comes up with things?
No, no, yeah, you come up with your stuff,
she comes up with her stuff, you crumple it up,
put it in a box, shake it up, pull something out.
Or Thomas could just put it on the list if he wants.
Yeah, it'd be good, because that is the one thing
that work-life balance definitely needs some more balance
in there.
If you're listening, I feel like one simple thing
everyone can do is if I didn't have my phone by my bed,
I would be sleeping an hour more every night.
For sure, at least an hour.
Because I'm just in bed scrolling,
and I wake up, I scroll.
Yeah.
Wake up and have a night and scroll?
Sometimes.
They say you're not supposed to look at your screen
an hour before you go to sleep.
But who are they?
I know, but say the self-control for that is a hard one.
They tell us all the time.
I like those little immunity shots.
I don't know if those work, but in my head they work.
Yeah.
I like cryo chambers and ice baths.
I like cold.
Oh really?
You like cold.
I like a cold shower.
You love to shiver.
For the dopamine, yeah.
That gets you just feeling alive, right?
Like feeling like awake.
It kind of resets your nervous system
because it's such a shock and then you're like, okay.
I have to say, I mean, I've told you,
I've treaded water in cold pools.
I don't know if you guys have mentioned treading water.
No, this is the first time.
Don't be jealous.
But I mean, aside from just the exercise of treading water.
Yeah, you stick it to dig.
Don't stick it to me.
I would never dare.
I don't wanna start that war.
I have been treading water this last week.
I got off the treading water train
and then got back on it.
I did it on vacation.
We went to Palm Springs for the weekend,
because I had a show there,
but we went a day early,
and I treaded water twice in the hotel pool.
It was kind of odd because it was a small hotel.
It was 21 and up and it was all these couples
around the pool having their Aperol Spritzes.
Nobody was trying to have pool time.
I was like, am I gonna be this, but it's so,
the area's small, so the seats are like,
the lounge chairs are right on the pool.
Is this the Ace Hotel?
No, it's called Little Horizon.
By the way, I've been in this situation many times.
So I'm like, all right, here I am in my lesbian swimsuit,
gonna just charge into the water
and I treaded water for 55 minutes.
Having to try to-
Why only 55?
That's great, and 55 is great.
And the water was the perfect temp,
but I'm trying to not watch any one couple for too long.
So I'm just bobbing around in a circle for almost an hour.
Oh, my God. I'm sure they were like,
what is this crazy person doing? Looser. I was like,
I want to know what Taylor Thomas does.
Because I have some good tips. Listen, whatever aside from does. She might have some good tips.
Listen, aside from...
I don't think she has good tips.
She's sick.
She's still sick.
She's super sick.
But whatever she's doing is working though.
She's doing a lot.
What I do, and is currently not working, because I am sick at work, I have done a combination
of things.
I do a lot of supplements.
I don't know if they're working, but I do use them.
I drink a lot of water. I do a lot of supplements. I don't know if they're working, but I do use them. I drink a lot of water. I try to eat really healthy. I try to sleep a lot.
I have done infrared sauna before. I've heard that helps. I've done acupuncture. Again, can't hurt.
But if you have any other suggestions, oh, would love those.
The Korean spa I go to,
you can spend the whole day and it's like steam sauna,
ice plunge, massage, but you can go for a whole day.
That sounds nice.
That's real nice.
She has to be naked though.
Yeah, yeah.
I don't want my cooter out.
You don't want your cooter out?
Fortune.
I really don't.
You don't?
I don't want to walk around with my cooter out. Why?
Nobody wants that. Everybody wants to see that. Everybody. You can wear a robe. Luigi
over here is everybody wants to see the cooter. Well you know my last name is Notaro. Hey
Luigi Notaro. I would love to wear something.
Well, I met Molly Shannon for the first time.
In the Korean spa?
No, but I'm like, y'all are just cooter to cooter.
Cooter to cooter.
Can I tell you something?
Cooter to cooter.
But she had shocked me because I forget how we got onto it.
But she was like, oh, yeah, I go to the Korean spa all the time.
And I was like, in the nude, like, you're so famous. And she was like, oh yeah, I go to the Korean spa all the time, and I was like, in the nude, like you're so famous.
She was like, yeah, people are so nice.
I would like to try a Korean spa, that sounds delightful.
I love a massage.
I do try to.
With your couture out?
I wear undies.
Just the bottom part.
Pontes.
I wear my pontes.
You gotta see this guy in Mexico.
I do a massage like once a month.
What's that?
Oh yeah, I don't know that guy.
Get his hands in your mouth. No hands in my mouth. And think about your childhood, that? Oh, yeah, I don't know that guy. Uh-uh. Get his hands in your mouth.
No hands in my mouth.
Think about your childhood. You have to, Fortune.
I don't want that. I don't even do the face or the head as part of the massage.
It doesn't do anything for me.
I could have a head massage for an hour and a half.
Really? Oh, yes.
It doesn't. It just feels like just, yeah, it doesn't do anything for me.
Oh my God. I'm like, get off my face, but like my head, get on that.
Yeah.
Get on my head.
I just love them.
I think massages are good for just like really getting stuff
out and just relaxing.
Anything you do just to kind of like relax.
Oh my gosh, I'll just sit.
I love, okay, I love thinking.
And so I like that.
I like that.
Taylor, we got a good suggestion for you.
But I mean, have you tried thinking?
Have you tried thinking?
Taylor's like, no thanks.
It feels so good to just not be taking anything in
or being around anybody and just being, that's why when I tread water,
I don't have, I'm not playing music,
I'm not listening to anything, I'm not talking to anyone
and or if I'm in a hot tub or taking a walk,
I just love thinking.
And I know it sounds like.
I like that you're not calling it meditating,
you're calling it thinking, because meditating, I feel like I'm always like that you're not calling it meditating, you're calling it thinking.
Because meditating, I feel like I'm always doing it wrong
or not doing it right, but it is just sitting
and sort of thinking.
Yeah, I love thinking.
I love not thinking.
Yeah.
Well, there's that.
Jax is always like, you're always on your phone.
But one of the things I'm doing when I don't wanna think
is there's a game on my phone.
Candy Crush? It's like Candy Crush, it's called Best Fiends.
This is not bad.
I've just got back into Candy Crush.
Is that a red flag?
I feel like they're similar probably,
where it's just kind of this no thinking
kind of going through the motion thing.
I will do it so I don't think,
because my brain's such like, I wanna shut it down.
And she'll be like, god, you're always on your phone.
But I'm like, this is just my way of like,
going to another planet of non-thinking.
Let us know what you do, what you're thinking about.
If you have any tips for Taylor.
Have you ever tried to frozen?
Tips for Taylor.
Tips for Taylor.
Thanks for tuning in to Tips for Taylor.
Have you tried a frozen grape perhaps?
Yeah, a little R and R. tuning in to Tips for Taylor. Have you tried a frozen grape perhaps? Yeah a
little R&R. Go to our socials and give some suggestions because guess what we
need them too. Yeah we do. Well I don't know what you guys have coming up I'm
filming so I'm not really doing live shows. If you're if you haven't checked it
out check out our new merch on handsome pod.com is that yeah, yeah and
Yeah, what are you guys up to? Oh the merch is awesome by the way, I got my muscle tee
Looks good. I'll keep it handsome. It's great. It looks so good. It looks so good. I like really love our merch
I know that that I'm biased cuz I'm part of the handsome crew.
But we've got some really great merch.
I am gay too.
The pretty little lady tees.
So cute.
Yeah, and that muscle tee is good for summer.
Great for treading water.
Was my lesbian, it's part of my lesbian swimsuit.
Yeah.
I wear shorts and a cutoff tee.
I like that.
And so if you have summer plans that involve water,
I think you should also get one of those tees.
I got no shows to promote, so just check out,
you know, feel good on Netflix,
and I'm filming another TV show,
be out early next year.
Anyway, see you around.
I'm working out new material around Los Angeles
at Largo, Dynasty Typewriter, all that kind of stuff.
Doing my standup, but also Stephanie and I
are continuing to do our She Said, She Said show,
which is so fun.
So cool.
Have you seen it?
No, but I love the idea.
It's so fun because we just take things from our day to day and talk about them on stage
and then we include the audience and we'll be like, Oh, do you relate to that? Things
that are funny that happen, but also things that drive each other crazy about one another.
And, uh, and it's so fun to it's, it's so fun. You get into the temperature of the house,
does this come up?
Or is that too charged?
I want it.
No, we get into all of it.
I will so back you up on that
if I'm ever around you and Stephanie.
We also got into the topic of how she shouldn't,
when we're in a car together at a red light
and a bee flies in our car,
she should not jump out of the car
and take her foot off the brake
and let me roll into the intersection.
Oh my God.
That's how you talk about that on a late night show, right?
Oh my God.
I don't know.
I don't know.
Okay, I wanna hear more about that.
Yeah, well we did talk about that.
How that should not happen.
But also my special hello again
is out on prime video and you know I have a book and I have documentaries and
TV shows and well I have four last final shows of my live laugh love tour for
casinos this summer in June I'm in New Buffalo, Michigan
at that casino out there.
I have Atlantic City in Jersey.
I have Niagara Falls, New York.
And then the final one in August is Charlestown,
West Virginia at the casino.
Nice.
Those are at my website, fortunevehister.com.
Great.
Yeah, well you guys, what an episode.
What an episode. What a episode. What a podcast.
What a podcast.
We've covered so much.
Yes we have.
And yet so little.
And yet nothing at all.
Nothing.
We appreciate you guys.
Thanks for listening.
Thank you so much for spreading the word.
I mean, please tune into YouTube.
Please check out what's going on with Tix.
We're in person right now.
Yes.
In the same room.
Maybe there's something on somebody's face.
Hand holding has happened.
Yeah.
Something's on someone's face.
Yeah.
I've cropped my t-shirt too.
I've taken too much off the bottom.
Ooh.
I took it to get altered.
I took like-
Oh, and it was too much?
Way too much.
It's like a crop top.
You got your t-shirt altered? Yeah, I do that. I take two inches off the bottom of a lot of
t-shirts. Oh, I love my t-shirts long. Do you? Yeah. Well, I'm really regretting this. Well,
well, I like it somewhere between long and short. That's why we work as a trio.
May's got some muscles going right now too. Y'all should tune in to the pod on YouTube just for that.
May did pump them up before the-
For two days.
For two days.
You got some guns going over there, whoa, okay.
Oh my gosh, May is relaxing.
Wow, May is, oh, can we get one more of those
right in that camera, right there?
Whoa, let me see.
Oh my god, May, look at those guns!
What, what can you not pick up?
There's nothing there.
That is not true, those are some guns. This is humiliating, I feel like- Oh, look at those guns. What can you not pick up? No, there's nothing there. That is not true, those are some guns.
This is humiliating, I feel like.
Oh, look at that.
There it is.
I see it.
What about that?
Come on.
I see an arm.
That's not what May has, May has some guns.
Well, what a podcast.
You guys, we want you to
keep it handsome.
Handsome!