Handsome - Ted Danson asks for podcasting advice

Episode Date: August 20, 2024

The hilarious and wonderful Ted Danson humbly asks Handsome for podcast advice on this week's episode! Plus Barbie, singing with Alanis Morissette, and Woody Harrelson making... SHMORES?!LIVE STREAMING SHOW Aug 24! Tickets: dynastytypewriter.com/handsomeHandsome is hosted by Tig Notaro, Mae Martin, and Fortune FeimsterFollow us on social media: @handsomepodMerch: handsomepod.comWatch on youtube: youtube.com/@handsomepodEmail the show: [e-mail] Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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What are your names again? I'd be Fortune Feimster. And I happen to be May Martin. Lookin' handsome. Yes. Hi, you guys. Hi, guys. Hi. I wanted to also mention that I have this other- Oh, you're joined. Yeah, we're joined by- you'd have to go to YouTube to see who has joined us this episode, but- It's Stuffed Animal. Yeah, it's Elephante. And what's his deal? What's stuffed animal yeah it's elephante and what's his deal what's his vibe oh he's so cool i think he's an elephant oh my goodness somebody is a detective and um

or bilingual maybe yeah i think uh i knew that elephant was elephante in Espanol. Is Elefante a benevolent soul? Is he kind? Or is he evil? Or is he evil? He is the most evil stuffed animal. No, he's so kind. He's actually, he's unable to see. Oh. Yeah, when Finn was really little,

he used to chew on Elephante's eyes. And so Stephanie cut, she was scared he was gonna chew an eyeball, big plastic eyeball off and swallow it and choke. So she cut his eyeballs off and then got sewed up. And then when Finn was, I think only two, and when Elephante was returned to him,

we filmed him. Very different. Yeah, we filmed his response and he just looked at Elephante and looked at us and said, Elephante need eyes? He was pretty chill about it? He was pretty chill about it, yeah. But Elefante goes everywhere. You know, they're eight now, and Elefante goes everywhere with us.

And then Max has a stuffed animal named Lammy, who he's not as attached to, but because there's a lot of attention on how Elefante is such a part of the family, he'll always add in, and Lamy, you know, like when we're telling stories. And we're like, oh absolutely, Lamy too. But Max never remembers to bring Lamy anywhere. We always have to be like, do you want to bring Lamy for the trip? He's like, oh yeah, yeah, I'll grab him. Oh yeah, my favorite thing that I'm also obsessed with, sure, yeah. I'm so obsessed with Lammy. I can't live without him.

Did you guys have some kind of attachment like that? I have currently a... Oh. I know, okay. I'm just gonna be honest about it. Thank you. This is why we're here. Yeah. I have a bear and he's only got a- Is it a benevolent bear?

No, he's highly manipulative. No, he's a brown bear, but I only got him like six years ago. It's not like a childhood relic and I can't really sleep with that. I was so embarrassed. Usually I'll hide him was so embarrassed. Like usually I'll hide him with, if I was dating someone I would hide him and then like, you know, you get deep in with someone I'm like, I guess I'm going to have to reveal that there's three of us going to be in this bed tonight. Do you hide him during sex parties? Yes, I do. Of course. Of course. I don't want him. Not just during sex, during sex parties.

Or does he bounce around on the bed? Like if anyone needs a little reassurance. I just picture so much activity and this bear just bouncing around. And what is the bear's name? Malcolm. Malcolm, all right. Yeah, yeah. And I don't know,

I was super embarrassed about it, and then I was like, I don't, it's like, I don't have the time to heal my inner child like that fast, you know what I mean? So why not just accept that I wanna have a bear? Yeah, I like that you've come clean and told all of us now too. Yeah.

Really embracing this. It changes things a little. How you see me? For you too? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, it takes the edge off of it. Well, this is one of those sex parties. Just knowing that there's a bear tucked in a drawer. I'm now thinking of those sex parties very differently.

Oh man. Well, this is why I'm little cowboy, not just cowboy. That's true. That is very true. Oh shit. So you guys don't have stuffed animals? Curly? No.

But you have Biggie. I'm like closer to the grave. I'm way too close to the grave than, you know, my child days. Biggie is my live Teddy bear. He doesn't seem real a lot of times, so yeah, he would be mine. I had a Teddy Rumpskin, do you remember? As I said, Rumpskin.

You didn't even catch his last name? I thought of Teddy, I didn't really get into the last name. Teddy Rumpskin? I don't know, he was your friend. Does anyone know what I'm talking about the last name. Teddy Rumskin? I don't know. Does anyone know what I'm talking about? Rumpelstiltskin? No, hold on. Teddy?

Teddy Ruxpin. It was a bear, and you could put this. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There was one in my family too. I don't know if it was mine, but there was one in the home. There was a Teddy Ruxpin. You could put a cassette tape, I think, in his belly or something.

And I was into Care Bears. Oh my God. Are you serious, Fortune? Tig, what do you mean? Care Bears. I was a child. I guess that's our age difference. I got more judgment from that than May's current Malcolm.

I guess you're right. You're like, oh, Care Bears, oh. Grown human with teddy bear, that sucks. That's all right. Child with a Care Bear, blech. I forgot we have an age difference. Were you into the cabbage faces? Cabbage patch dolls? For sure, yeah.

You had a cabbage patch doll? I did, yeah. Wow. I think it's just the age difference here. I think I was smoking by then, you know? Yeah. I had trolls and Sylvaniens, those little fuzzy, you could get all different species

and then you could buy them a houseboat and you could make a- A houseboat? Yeah, you could buy them a houseboat and then they could go on little journeys. Thomas is kind of, there's a look of recognition on Thomas's face. I feel like he's on board the Sylvaniens.

Because are you and Thomas from, are y'all from the same era? You and Thomas maybe? And Canada. Oh yeah, you are y'all from the same era? You and Thomas maybe? And Canada. You are. You're around the same age. So you're meant to like take them and you know, have these cozy little scenes on the houseboat or whatever.

But I would always be just in the basement by myself being like, the child's been kidnapped and there's like a heroin addict in the, I don't know. I was really dark and I'd make them really. We need a test for fentanyl. Yeah. See, I think I'm more of the timeframe of like marbles and slingshots.

Oh yeah. I was like in the in between. GI Joe. I was like, oh, a lot of stuff happening outside, a lot of making games up on your own, but toys were being introduced and taking over our lives as well. Yeah. I was a G.I. Joe kiss and Barbies kind of gal too. Me too.

I must say, this is the funny curve ball about me. I loved Barbie so much and played with Barb. Dumb titties. Like really shiny boobs where you'd rubbed off all the teeth. much and played with Barbies. I loved Barbies so much to an age where I had to hide it. I mean like yeah like like I was I was like truly smoking on the side, but also top secret, I'd come in from playing in the woods and play with Barbie and GI Joe and yeah, that whole thing. Were you making them act out these sort of soap poppers

and stuff in your mind or just- Oh, absolutely, and very detailed, like step by step, that moving their legs so they're walking to the store and then meeting up with somebody and having a conversation. Like, oh my God, I was in my room for hours doing this. And then a friend would come over and be like, oh yeah, let me grab my cigarettes. I'll be right out. My camels. Meanwhile, Fortune was listening to Black Sabbath in her Teddy Rubble spin. There's no way Fortune was into Black Sabbath.

No. I was too much of a dork. I did have a stuffed animal. You did? Oh, tell us. Yeah. I was like, I'm going to give this to my children when I have kids. They don't care about Zip, my monkey.

It was awful. They had such a weird feeling. It was such a weird feeling. This mole-ridden, stinky monkey named Zip. Yeah, this monkey that has been in my life for 51 years, 52 years. And where is Zip now? Oh my God, just shoved behind something in their room. Like that makes me so sad.

I feel like. Absolute disrespect for Zip. You should have offered up Zip's eyes to Elefante. I would adopt Zip and he can hang out with Malcolm and I'll keep them, you know, they keep each other company. I just need to wash them first. Well, Zip is not a dirty monkey. He may be after he spent a week in my house.

I have those sex parties, you know. Yeah, I'll have to have them dry cleaned. Well, speaking of music and Black Sabbath. That's right. Is that a good transition? Depending on what you're getting to. Something awesome. Yeah, the story about grapes. Fortune and I did go and see Alanis Morissette in Toronto.

There's a lot to unpack, I would say. Yeah. So Alanis was on the pod not too long ago and asked a very funny question. We knew that Atlantis was coming to Toronto and May and I were both going to be in Toronto when Atlantis came. Way to rub it in. We were like, we need to have a field trip. What did you say, Tig?

Way to rub it in, Fortune. I know. The first thing that happened that went wrong was, well, so I had bought like eight tickets on Ticketmaster. I'd gone like VIP package. I'd invited people that were like coming from out of town. And a few days before the concert, I was like, what's my, do I download those tickets or what?

Like, do I have the confirmation number? Couldn't find any record of them. Turns out I've been scammed. I had no tickets. No. Yeah. And it was a fake ticket master website. A fake website. It looked real. And I called the customer service and they're like, Oh yeah, well, if you give us your card details now on the phone, we can

get you the VIP thing. And I just thought, Oh, no, you called the number on the site. I called the scam customer service. Oh no. Anyway, so then I'm scrambling and I'm emailing every agent I've ever had being like, is there any string you can pull to get me to this concert? I've got friends coming from out of town, Parves flying in from LA. Can I get just eight tickets? Just a casual eight tickets? I only need eight tickets.

Did you consider giving Alanis a ring-a-ding? I would, if I had her number, you know I would. Okay. So finally I managed to get four tickets, which was amazing. And then we meet up and we're all excited to meet Alanis. We're standing backstage, Fortune, Jax, Parv, me, my best friend, my two other best friends. Yeah, cause we, they said that we could meet Alanis

right after her meet and greet and we were like so pumped. I was drenched in sweat. I've rarely been that nervous to meet someone. Wow. My face was red, but honestly it's because of the sun. What was happening? We were freaking out. Jax and I walked 40 minutes to the venue

and it really took it out of me. You're nervous, you're blushing. And then the moment we need to process is, Alanis' manager or tour manager comes up and goes, so Fortune, are you all ready to go on stage and sing the first verse of Ironic? No. So she says, before she had taken us back to that area, she asked me, she's like, can you sing? And I was like, um, have you heard the broadcast?

And so I didn't want to answer it because I was like, well, I mean, I'm not a singer by trade, but we've all heard my karaoke pretty good. Well, I mean, I'm not a singer by trade, but we've all heard my karaoke pretty good. And so I was like, I get. Yeah. And she was like, well, that doesn't give me much confidence. I was like, well, what? I don't know what you're asking. I go, I have I sang with the chicks in Nashville on stage. So I think I yeah, I yes, I can sing. And so she was like, Oh, well, cause

Alanis is a saying where she brings somebody up to sing a couple of verses of ironic. Would you be into it? I'm like, absolutely. Are you kidding me? So that was the first conversation that you had not been privy to. Not privy to that. So I just hear the manager go, so Fortune, you all ready to sing ironic with Alanis? And I have never in my life. And I love Fortune. Let's just say that right away. May was ready to murder me and throw me into. Most homeowners are busy. It kind of comes with the territory and finding the best home insurance can feel like a time consuming chore. But Allstate can help. Switching to Allstate is

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I was really shocked by my own reaction. I felt rage. I was like, I want to do this so badly. Did you not have your teddy bear come to you? No, I'll go. so badly. Did you not have your teddy bear that comes to you? No, I'll go. They looked at me like I had betrayed you. I know.

And I was like, I didn't have anything to do with it. And then I was trying to regain composure and I was like, no, Fortune, I'm so pumped for you. This is going to be great. And then I would turn back to my friends and be like, I'm going to kill her. I'm going to kill her. Then Fortune goes, I better Google the lyrics. Yes. And then, then Fortune goes, I better Google the lyrics.

I was like, come on. I know the lyrics. I just got nervous. Hey, is this the point where we say, isn't it ironic? That she's invited and doesn't know the words? I do know the words.

Oh my Lord. I do know the words, but I got so nervous all of a sudden. Of course, and I was excited for you. Then, so we go backstage and meet her and she's everything you want her to be. Amazing. Right? Didn't she have a power? She's just a very present person, a very open,

you can just feel the kindness radiate from her. Like she just leads with openness, I think, is the best way to describe her. So warm, so funny, like really made us laugh. And so I, and I was like, don't mention that you want to sing. Like I could, I know I could have really ruined the moment by being like, but what about me? And then I was glad we had a great interaction.

And then it comes time for Fortune to sing and I'm like, I'm gonna tag along. I think I under the guise of being like, oh, maybe I'll film footage for our social media page. But really, secretly I'm hoping at the last second, Alanis is going to grab my hand too. And then- Daniel Bruce Springsteen, Courtney Cox. And then it was a beautiful moment for us. You guys were looking in each other's eyes singing. My God. My God. My God.

I do have a video of it. My God. singing, my god, my god, my god. I do have a video of it. I have a video of it all on my Instagram for those that wanna see the love exuding from me. And I will say Alanis too. There's the video that my friend made, which is you and Alanis gazing into each other's eyes, crying, and then the camera pans over to me

at the side of the stage, like Rumpelstilts can stamp in my little foot. No, I was trying to look, I was like, woo, yay, but I was really... Wait, are you saying Fortune and Alanis were crying to each other on stage? No, no, no. I cried after. Oh, you cried after? You felt emotional, right? Alanis wasn't crying. She's a professional. It would be wild.

At times she brings someone on stage. She has this moment every show. She's a Liz Cannon. Well, right before I get... So, Alanis does like a portion at another stage out in the audience. And that's when they said, come meet us over the side. And when she comes back through to go on stage, she's going to grab you by the hand and bring you up on stage but I think a lot not always but at Atlanta said a lot of time it's a kid that they have to this so a lot of times usually pulling some nervous kid so

everyone was like said she yanked me on stage she didn't yank me on stage she just used to like pulling a kid and I look like a kid kind of clomping on stage and she just walks really fast and I'm really slow. So it looked like I was being pulled on stage. I was very willingly going on stage. But her right before I went up on stage, her tour manager goes, Oh, don't even worry about the audience. Just sing the song to Alana.

So I was like, OK. And so we start the song and Alana's points at the teleprompter like, yeah, you know, hear the words kind of, if you need them. And I just turn- Here's the words to my utterly most famous song in the history. Yeah. And I just lock in with Alana's eyes right to her down the barrel. I sing that whole first verse to her and she's just beaming and peering into my soul in a way that no one has looked at me in that kind of vulnerable. I absolutely have.

It was very intimate in a not sexual way, but a very human intimate experience that was so deep that when I got off stage, I legit started, I welled up, it made me so emotional. Are you about to cry right now? No, I'm okay, I've processed it. While this was happening, I'm standing there and the stage crew guy comes up to me and goes, excuse me, you're gonna have to stand further back,

your t-shirt is very white. Apparently my t-shirt. I went and tied your show. back. Your t-shirt is very white. Apparently my t-shirt. I'm going to tie your show. Yeah, my t-shirt would see. Don't you see Atlanta's unfortunate peering into each other's eyes right now? Now, do I do that? I think the first verse and the chorus,

and then she gives me a big hug. That's how it always goes and sends me off. And it was really cool. It was epic. It was amazing. You smashed it too. You sounded beautiful like an angel. Do you know how she chose you and not me? Well, that's a good question.

Yeah. The most embarrassing thing is she was at the same venue the next night and I texted the kind woman who had got us backstage. Of course. And I said, hey, that was so fun last night. You know, if Alanis needs, I said, Hey, that was so fun last night. You know, if Alanis needs, I said, if Alanis needs anyone tonight. Did you call with your teddy bear in your

arms? I sent to Salvi with the teddy bear. Yeah. No, I said, if she needs anyone, I'm available. No response. No response. I will tell you this, I heard from people on the comment section that her nephew did it that night. So that's the only reason I'm sure you weren't asked. I did have a moment with her. She did bring my name up again that night too. So I think it did have an everlasting effect. Did my name come up at all?

She talked about the podcast. She said she loved the podcast. Okay, but did she say Tig is quite extraordinary? And I wish I had heard her terrible voice. I did. Did you catch that? She might have mumbled it. I met her before you guys did, okay?

And she might not even know that. I already told you that. Oh, yeah. She and I have a mutual friend and I've socialized with her. I've never sung with her, but I will. Tig, if you sing with her before me, I am quitting this podcast. I don't know if I'll be able to handle it. I'm Canadian.

Yeah. Maybe it's because she's heard me sing on the podcast and you just need to sing more on our pod. Oh, yeah. Wait a minute, man. There you go. That's right. She sing on the podcast and you just need to sing more on our pod. Oh, wait a minute. Then you've got to the podcast. She does. I had met Atlanta's back in 2014. She came to the finale of Chelsea lately. So there were there maybe there was that familiarity from back then too. I don't I don't know. No, I feel like she knew she was in a safe pair of hands

with you and I was kind of a wild card. I was quivering, you know, and I did, I love the Hail Mary that you threw for the next night. That is bold. That is no shame, bold. I had to ask you. Yeah, you gotta shoot your shot. God is your shot.

You know how terrified I was asking the Indigo Girls if I could play drums with them on my own special? I was like, I felt like I was overstepping there. That would be a weird conversation, but they love you. When we were backstage, I had a moment that was really reminiscent of when I told Justin Trudeau that his legacy will be great. Like where I went out of my body

and my mouth did something else. Cause it had been going well. Like we were all riffing, we were getting along, we'd take pictures, it's great. And then we're hugging. And yeah, we seem like normal humans meeting each other. And then as I was leaving, I thought I might never get this chance again.

And I just did what I did to Justin. I touched her arm gently. You said your legacy will be great? No I said you're our greatest living rock star. That is true though. She's the best. But I mean it and then I watched the show and I thought I stand by that whole heartedly. Oh she she's amazing, like. Dude, she's incredible. Oh my God. Incredible. She blew my ponties off and the whole audience's ponties off. She was fucking rad. Yeah. She was so good.

She didn't stop moving for an hour and 40 minutes. And she projects onto the wall all these stats about gender inequality and stuff and it makes you think, fuck, we've gone backwards almost. Like she was so ahead of her time, ahead of the Me Too movement. She was so inspiring and yeah. She's so good. I was saying like every performer coming up

needs to watch her concert. She crushed it. You know who? So engaging and such a good voice. You know who I saw live who destroyed, destroyed was Cyndi Lauper. Oh yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I had never, like I had been given these tickets by my agents and went to the show very excited. Did not expect what I saw. This woman, again, never stopped moving her body, running around and rocking everyone's faces off. So it's, Oh my God. I, a lot of people will, will claim that, Oh, if you reach a certain age, you should, you know, tap out. And it's like, not if you still got it. No, gimme, gimme, gimme. I'm buying front row center at the next Cindy Laupert concert.

And I know this is such a random observation, but there were so many men there. And I was like, hell yeah. I love that they appreciated her in the ways that we obviously do. And young people, there were a lot of teenagers there that knew every word to the ways that we obviously do. And young people. There were a lot of teenagers there that knew every word to every song. It was good.

Yeah, a wide range of people. Oh, yeah. What else, May? I have one more. And then we have to check in after that to see how you feel about me. But go ahead. Oh, I feel nothing but embarrassment at my own dark soul. Like, I am so happy for you. It was deeply moving watching you do it.

I, of course it should have been you. You have the voice of an angel. You do too though. No, but I, it's my own bitter heart. Two angels arguing. So you don't want, so we're good, we're cool. We're still handsome. Oh we're good.

Okay, thank God, thank God. I didn't want our queen to come between we're good, we're cool. We're still handsome. Oh, we're good. We're good. I still got to. I didn't want our queen to come between us. No, she never would. Her message is one of unity. And I got to go on stage because you did that. That was sick. Yeah, that was cool. The only other thing that happened that night

that was strange was like a week prior to the concert, Parvati said, me and your best friend Nicole are planning a surprise for that night. So I took that little kernel and I didn't wanna ask anything, but I was, I guess, turning it over in my head, like, what could this be? Had no idea.

And I think they thought I'd forgotten about it. And we went for dinner before the show and for some reason, something happened in my head where I came up with a version of what it was that I was so convinced that I thought, because we'd had a conversation about how I like to celebrate things with a shrimp cocktail. So I thought, there's no shrimp cocktail on the menu,

they're gonna get me a shrimp cocktail. But this was not- Oh, you just decided this is what it has to be. I know, and I was to the point where like, at one point I was looking to order and Parv went, I'm surprised you're not getting the grilled shrimp, and I was to the point where like, at one point I was looking to order and part of one, I'm surprised you're not getting the grilled shrimp and I thought, well, here we go. And I said, no, no shrimp for me.

I'm gonna get a burger. Cause I thought I'm getting shrimp later when they bring me this shrimp cocktail. I was convinced, I don't know why. And then the surprise was just that they were wearing like matching necklaces or something, like the heart of the ocean. And I was like, oh, I made up a whole thing

that it was shrimp. Yeah. Actually my friend Nicole gave- We're wearing a shrimp cocktail necklace. She gave Alanis her necklace actually backstage cause it's the one from Titanic. Yeah. You know, the heart of the ocean. Oh, I didn't know she gave,

oh, cause Alanis said something about it, right? Yeah. And then Nicole goes, I want you to have this. And she goes, oh, I can buy one, don't worry. Nicole's like, no, I want you to have mine. Elana's technically can't buy one. I saw how many tickets she sold that weekend. Oh man. How big of a venue is she in?

I'm not sure, but it's an amazing venue cause it feels intimate still. Like you can ever. And she sold it out twice. And does she, is she still putting out albums? Does she have a new album out? Oh yeah. I think this was a celebration of Jagged Little Pill though. It was like 25th anniversary.

So it's locking. 25 years? So good. It came out when I was 15. I thought it came out when I was... I feel like it's 30 years, right? All I remember is my mom putting on ankle weights and exercising to it in the living room and went we go, and now you're thinking of me when you...

I was like, what? That's right, your mom was wild. Lost my mind. Your mom's a real wild kitten. Thomas, will you let... 1995 it came out. I was 15. Oh, so what is that? Almost 30 years. Yeah. So wait, is she celebrating the 29th year? I guess so. This is the celebration of the 29th year for sure. This is the 29th anniversary of Jagged Little Pill. That is. Well, a lot of nostalgia had come up with that album

because there was a Broadway play. I don't know if it's still going or not, but that kind of re-energized everyone's love of that album because there was a Broadway play. I don't know if it's still going or not, but that kind of re-energized everyone's love of that album as well. I knew it wasn't 25 years because it came out before I started doing standup. And I started doing standup I think 28 years ago. I just knew I was in high school

because I had that CD and was jamming to it in my car all the time. In your teddy bears? In my rump, in my teddy rump skins. Oh, I'm so glad, man, I have made up. God, that was so close. The pod almost came to an end over in L.A. No, it was just a chance for me to look inside and be like, have joy for others.

I would say if the podcast ended over that, worth it. Totally reasonable end. I don't want to foresaw on the ones. It was pretty magical. You don't want to, but you're going back into it? She also did write in her caption, I love you, fortune, be sure I don't. OK, what? Fortune.

She posted she posted pictures from that night. And there was a she wanted a picture of her and I. And she wrote at the end of the caption, I love you, fortune, be sure. I died all over. And you're saying that you sure don't wanna rub it in. I don't wanna rub it in, though. No salt in the wound there. And then she wrote, hashtag don't love Mae Martin.

I think she loves you a lot. She loves the pod. And hashtag who's TIG. But now that I experience, I don't think she normally does two people up on stage because she likes that serious eye contact. This is even worse. You're telling me you know what Alanis likes.

You're like, let me tell you this is what she likes. I do feel like I know her pretty well now. Yeah, you're rubbing it in hard. If you think that there's not a part of me that's hoping that she'll listen to this episode and I'll get a call. Come sing with me. Sorrily mistaken. I won't get a call. I'm not even part of this at all. I'm just like eavesdropping on the night of your lives. Whether you're leaving town for a weekend or a month, deciding what to pack is always

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greenlight.com slash handsome to try Greenlight for free. Greenlight.com slash handsome. Meanwhile, as I told you, I got stuck in the global travel disaster and I'm in an airport hotel with my family and Elefante three days and you guys are like, oh, we met Alanis and we were singing and this is the night of my life. You're in an airport hotel. You have really bad travel luck though. I feel like this is you often get stranded or think flight like this sock. Yeah, but I don't know. There must be things in

Denver maybe you could find. Thanks. No. I think some good vegan. I have to say there is there is you know, there's a restaurant that I'm going to go ahead and plug. They're just incredible. I think it's a chain, but they're called Snooze. Snooze, oh, the breakfast place? Yeah, most delicious breakfast place. And they have the most scrumptious vegan Buddha bowl. And yeah, it's so good. We go to the one downtown Denver on Wynkoop. Yeah, so that's where we've gotten our nourishment. So thank you, snooze. And you're all sharing a room that like, it's kind of a fun adventure when you're a kid

and you're like, something crazy is going on. Oh my gosh. Our kids love being in hotels. They don't care if it's an airport hotel. There's this weird tradition that we started last summer. They discovered the show Friends. I'm not saying they were the first to discover it, but they discovered it, became obsessed with it. I guess it comes on at nine o'clock on Nickelodeon. I don't know if it's on Nickelodeon, it starts at nine o'clock on some channel. And Max and Finn love to watch Friends

as they fall asleep when they travel. So we've been having some, yeah, travel. They wake up saying, we were on a break. Truly. Do they have favorite characters that they relate to or are they just into the whole thing? I think they're into the whole thing and I think they're really into the three guys, you know? And they like everybody and every now and then when we're watching an episode they'll be like,

you know, you know Rachel? like that comes up about every episode. That's so funny. All those characters have so many great moments. I was just today watching a blooper of Jennifer Coolidge on when she had a guest spot on Friends and all she had to say, he made me feel like a perfect arse. And Lisa Kudrow couldn't stop laughing. I'm not doing it justice. I'm trying to describe a blooper. Maybe call Alanis with it. Should I? Yeah, see if she thinks it's funny. Fuck. Or call Alanis' road manager. Is that who you call? I have her number. Yeah, I could call. I'll start sending her gifts and I'll call Alanis hold on.

Wait can I get Alanis's red manager's number? We should probably get to our question shouldn't we? Yeah we're just having so much fun chatting on the handsome pod. Well today's uh today's questioner is an Emmy winning actor known for playing Sam Malone on Cheers and Michael on the Good Place He's also known for his activism relating to ocean conservation He also has a new podcast with Woody Harrelson titled where everybody knows your name Ted Danson is asking today's question. Hi TIG May, thank you for having me on your show. This is Ted Danson and I am a new podcast host. The name of my show is Where Everybody Knows Your

Name and I do it with my buddy Woody Harrelson who joins me occasionally. It just came out on June 12th. Anyway, my question for you today is, do you have any advice for a new podcast host? Thank you for having me on your podcast and I appreciate the time. My first advice is don't go to a concert with your co-host. Just kidding. I'm kidding. How dare you? No, I got to drop it.

I got to drop it because I am joking. And people are going to be outraged online. How can you not? Yeah. No, they'll just be, they're torn because they're like, they feel, they wish you could have had that moment also, but they're also very happy for me. It's a real, ugh. And again, I'm not even in the equation.

But let me annoy everybody once again. I still don't understand. What do you mean? So you're confused because he said. He and Woody host a podcast together. Yeah. I think it's mainly Ted's. And then he's, I think Woody's co-hosted it with him

when Woody can. Okay, and why can't Woody host? He's a busy guy. What is he doing? Isn't Ted busy? Oh, he Ted busy? Aren't we busy? Everyone's busy. Okay, so Woody can only come every now and then. And so Ted wants to know.

He just wants advice for starting a podcast. Ted's mostly, this is his first podcast. Oh, for a new podcast. Meaning because he's new to podcasting. Oh, yes, yes. I understand your confusion now. Okay, so you thought he wanted advice about getting a new cohost. Oh, okay.

Oh, I did not see that connection. Oh, okay. Wow. I was like, why can't I? And then it was one of those moments where I thought, just let it go. And then I went, you know what? I can't. I want to understand

Even if I look like a dumb dumb like you're like your Nicole Kidman story or Yeah, some sort of this understand where I like yes, okay? She leans by the way This Stephanie got nominated for an Emmy yes And by the way, she is one of only three women who have been nominated in that category and Beyonce is another one, ever. No.

Yes. Wow. Yeah. That's so cool. It's insane. Congrats to her, congrats to you. That's very insane. And my editor was nominated. Everyone around me was nominated. That's very exciting. And my editor was nominated. Everyone around me was nominated. That's insane.

Way to set everyone else up for success. I know, but I am very thrilled for them. It's exciting. But back to Ted. Well, your special looked amazing. Oh, well, thank you. Well deserved. The way that the material wasn't good,

or the performance wasn't good. The material was lacking. It looked performance. The material was lacking. It looked amazing. The whole thing was fantastic. I hate, hate, hate. And this is like whatever. But there's so many stand up specials now. I know back in the day, people put them out,

it was fewer and far between. Now there are so many. Why is stand up in the same category as like Adele's concert or Beyonce or Bruce Springsteen. It's nuts. So every time that category is so hard as a performer, because you're competing with like the Oscars. I know.

It's like, why? I don't know at this point why there isn't its own category because it's such a giant part of these platforms now, but whatever, I digress. Yeah, whatever, Stephanie did it though. But anyway, so yes, back to Ted. As you can see, Ted, we've really nailed podcasting. That's right.

Talk about childhood stuffed animals. Yeah, like if a leaf blows by and the whole topic and vibe of the show just blows away with the leaf. Yes. Well, I think it shows you where podcasting has come to now that we have these huge- Heavy hitters. Heavy hitters now entering the game. Asking us for advice. The game.

That's ridiculous, that's ridiculous. Ted Danson needs our help. That's right. Yeah. He's such a classy, kind gentleman by all accounts, right? He's got this wonderful sonorous voice, very handsome, amazing bone structure. I love Cheers back in the day.

I used to watch it all the time. Not many people know this, but that's why we say Cheers at the end of our theme song. Because we all love the TV show Cheers. It was a nod to Cheers. It was a nod to Cheers. No, just kidding. And he and Woody, you know, we're on there together.

Do you know that, Tig? I do know that. There's so many different types of podcasts that really, I feel like you got to just do your thing because it's like some people love to listen to the news on a podcast. Yeah. I think it's kind of like anything that you do. You have to really want to be doing it because I feel like a lot of people and and I'm sure I've mentioned this, but I've basically been podcasting, I don't know,

since 2004 or five, I don't even remember when I started. But- Back when there was covered wagons. Exactly, covered wagons, I would wear a bonnet. With a podcast, with a mic. You were like in between playing with Barbies, you were podcasting. Absolutely.

Actually, I put Barbie down and started podcasting. But I do, I feel like it's something that people sometimes get involved with and they think, oh, this will be easy and I'll just record an hour a week and put it online. But there's so much that goes into it from scheduling and finding topics and guests and the producer and editor and all of the stuff that goes into it is just, it's a lot. And so you have to make sure that you really enjoy it and you really want to do it and that the topics and the guests everybody excites you and I feel like what's exciting for me personally is as I've mentioned before that I really

enjoyed getting to know both of you, May and Fortune, through the comedy world and I always walked away thinking I really love talking to them. Every time I see them, I really, you both stuck out as people that I wanted to know, I wanted to know you more. And I also wanted to tap into silliness. And all of that is, I don't know, I just, I find it to be fun.

It's gotta be people you wanna spend time with. I assume he and Woody are good buds. I mean, they go back all the way to cheer. So I think, yeah. Yeah, just a lot of history there. Yeah. I mean, I think too, you have to kinda tap into what people, you think people wanna hear from you as well.

Like if you see Ted and Woody together, Cheers fans are going to want to hear some of that behind the scenes stuff. They're going to want to like tell us things about that, because it was such an iconic show, such a huge show and such a part of the Zygeist for so long. There are going to be a lot of people that are going to tune in to get more behind the scenes on that. And then they've both been in the business for a long time. I imagine people are going to want to hear stories about just them, their trajectory,

their career, what it took to get to where they're at. And then they're both also, like you mentioned, very heavily involved in efforts to help save the ocean, conservation, you know, talking about that. So people that know them are, those are the things that people are going to want to hear from them. What if we didn't realize that their podcast was about golf or something and we find out after a little, ooh, well, this is why we're giving them advice. Maybe they need to tap into some of that. What can be so fun for people, which is similar to watching a documentary, is that you see the

behind the scenes and the curve balls of life. And I think that people shouldn't shy away from presenting or showing a side of yourself that maybe you didn't realize you wanted that the viewers wanted to know or find out or learn you know because that can be even you know you're talking about cheers you're talking about cheers. You're talking about your environmental activism. But then also, here's a weird curve ball. Yeah, a niche, historical. Yeah, this is something about me that you didn't know. I want to hear about Woody smoking weed with like, Lily Nelson.

Give us some stories, man. I always want to hear about people's childhood, childhoods. I feel like three of us often come back there. Because I feel like I've heard Woody Harrelson smoking weed with like anecdotes. I want to know like toddler Woody Harrelson or like... Yeah, but did you hear about when he smoked so much weedy shit in the campfire and then everyone puts more... No, I mean... Is that real?

No, that's improv at the highest in- See how your face lit up? Because that was outrageous. A different kind of drug, maybe. I'm just saying, that's what I'm saying. You got those stories that no one's heard before. Your face lit up like Christmas when you thought that was real. I just love the-

Tell us those stories. The specificity of that, and how quickly it rolled off your tongue. Walk us through that. I just love the specificity of that and how quickly it rolled off your tongue. Yeah, walk us through that story a little more, unfortunately. What happened? I do. Sorry, you said someone- I don't know, I was improvising. You said he shit in the fire and then people were making s'mores. He shit in the fire and then people were making s'mores and then I didn't know where I wanted

to go, Marie. But you know, walk yourself out of what you walked us into. And then what happened? The end. Well then everyone ate shit s'mores. Wow. I believe they're called s'mores. Oh, this is gold. And I don't know.

It really is. It's some of your best stuff, Fortune. Yeah. I didn't study at the groundlings for seven years for nothing. Well, when I said I really enjoyed talking to you and I want to hear more, I didn't know I met Shmore. Shmore. I'd like Shmores.

I want to hear Shmore. Anyway, my point being that we know about the certain things, but peel the curtain back. Give us that information that you guys wouldn't believe this thing that happened to me. I'm sure they're going to do great. People love both of those guys so much and that show was popular. It was huge. How long did it run? I don't know, but it was in that NBC heyday.

I used to watch reruns of it and Family Ties. And yeah, Family Ties was amazing. Family Ties. So good. Right? Yeah. And it would get serious. Yeah, absolutely. Like in the last seasons. 11 years. Okay.

11 years. 1982 to 1993 and it was, it ranked in the top 10 of the year-end Nielsen rating seven times. Whoa. Okay. It was a huge show. Yeah. Emmys, I'm sure.

Galore. Oh, for sure. I mean, not as many as my special accrued without me. I like the word Galore, by the way, and I think that would make a good first name. Galore Jackson. Galore Martin. You just have to have the last name Jackson. Are you gonna have a kid, May?

I think about it, you know? Yeah. Yeah, it's definitely a topic. Well, think about galore. Galore. Galore. Galore Martin. Parv's last name is Shallow, which is a very cool,

I mean it's. In the Shallow. I don't wanna rub salt anymore. In the Shallow. don't want to rub salt anymore. In the shallow. La la la la la la. Someone call it Gaga. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. What if I just ended up singing with every person I went to a concert to see? I was Justin Timberlake. Hey, you like to get up here and,

sure, why not? I'm not even a singer. Yeah, I mean, I guess I sing on my podcast, but I'll do it. Are you a singer? I'm like, in my shower. I know May's put out some albums, but I do sing in the shower.

You know, I'm stomping my foot like a little gnome. I sang on my Emmy nominated standup special, Hello Again. Oh, shit. You got to get in the singing at concerts game. Yeah, that's not going to happen. What about storming the Emmys and singing? That's an idea. I mean, it's no schmores, but.

Maybe we could, maybe the three of us could host the Emmys and all of us sing together. I would Love that Emmys if you're listening Emmys. Oh, they're all us now. Should we hear what? Ted Danson has to say absolutely So if I had to answer the question, do you have any advice for a new podcast host? I think I would answer it this way what I had to answer the question, do you have any advice for a new podcast host? I think I would answer it this way. What I have discovered doing this is that it's a privilege to sit opposite somebody and really get the opportunity

to find out what makes them tick. Why are they the way they are? To celebrate them and to make sure you're presenting as a team the best version of them. I love that. I am a bit of a wallflower myself, socially. I get embarrassed and act like an idiot. So I miss the opportunity a lot of times

to really find out who I'm talking to at a cocktail party or this or that. And this gives me the chance to really find out, you know, who I'm talking to at a cocktail party or this or that. And this gives me the chance to really get to know somebody. So I am I'm overjoyed to be doing this, to be honest. I'm also doing it with my buddy Woody Harrelson. And I think he's the reason why I agreed to do this is that we we love each other hugely. We're complete opposites, which is fun to banter with Woody. I admire him so much.

He's one of those people that takes such a big chunk out of life. I remember one time where he was late to work on Cheers, and we didn't know where he was, and someone came running in and said, Woody wants you to know that he's in Berlin. The wall is coming down, and he couldn't miss it. Oh my gosh.

That's my friend Woody. See? He may sometimes be impulsive. Oh my gosh. Or whimsical and boy is it worth the wait because he's just one of those remarkable people in my life that I'm feeling very grateful that I get to spend time on this podcast with.

So treat it as a privilege, have fun, and enjoy the people you're talking to. Thank you. There he goes. See, I told you guys, it's not a shit s'more story, but the Burlap Mall coming down, almost as exciting. I mean, the more he spoke, the more ashamed I felt of our silliness.

He's so classy and articulate. I know. A very nice voice. He's a privilege. His voice is soothing to listen to, so podcasting will be good for him. Serve him well. Yeah, absolutely. I do feel like it's a privilege to get to talk to you guys.

It is. Absolutely. It's a privilege for sure. It's not as much of a privilege as it is to sing with Alanis Morissette staring into her eyes and her into your soul. I would have loved it if he had come back and said, I have advice for you three. No more of this. I'd like less of this. How about you guys do this? Oh, and then got really specific.

He's never heard the podcast. All right. note taken. Notes taken. That's right. That was another fun podcast with the handsome crew. Sure was. And guess what? It was a privilege.

It was a privilege. I'm looking into the camera right now. Oh, not at your own face. No, I'm peering into your guys' eyes because I learned this from singing with Alanis. If you're watching on YouTube, we're all peering into your souls just like Alanis. We're really staring at you.

But you have to smile a lot and have a lot of joy in your heart and soul. That's gonna be hard. Oh, I can't fake that. Yeah. See, that's why you got picked, Fortune, because you got that beaming out of you. Yeah. Only, see, that's why you got picked, Fortune, because you got that beaming out of you. Yeah. Well, we're all going to be able to gaze into each other's eyes in person on August 24th

on stage. That's right. Maybe we'll pick one person from the audience to come sing. We should pick Alanis. Oh my. We should bring Alanis on stage. Stop it. Okay.

Yeah, Alanis. To sing our theme song. Yes, come back out. What if she was like, Tig, will you do me the honors of coming over here and singing with me? Oh my God. We should actually, okay, someone tell me it's inappropriate.

No, she loves the little cowboy. For me to text the tour manager and say is Alanis in town on August 24th to come on stage. I don't know where she even lives now. She'll be there, she'll be there. Alanis. Isn't that ironic?

Yeah. But you can be there too, even if you don't have tickets to the live show, we are live streaming the show and you can watch us. And you can watch, if you get a live stream ticket, you can watch it for a whole week. Yeah, and you should for sure get a ticket to see if Alanis shows up and we pull her on stage to sing the theme song.

For nothing else, you should at least do it for that. I have a feeling I know whether or not that's going to happen. I think it's a pretty good chance. Nobody knows. Nobody knows. Nobody took a chance. The real, what will really go down. But we do know this, that you can only see that show

on this link for one week. I gotta figure out what I'm gonna wear. We should all wear gowns. Yeah, gowns and tiaras. And I also have some local Toronto shows coming up. I'm gonna be working out new material and that's what I'm doing these days is just working out some new material,

whether it's Largo or Dynasty Typewriter or Comedy Bar in Toronto. So check my website for those dates and check out Hello Again, the Emmy- Emmy nominated. Nominated. I mean, many times over, just not me. But check out Stephanie's work directing Hello Again.

My tour has come to an end, but you can watch my standup on Netflix, Sweet and Salty, and Good Fortune. I got a special called Sap on Netflix, and an old one, don't watch that one. But anyways, I guess all that remains. Until next time. Keep it in, Handsome.

Handsome is hosted by me, Fortune Feimster, Tig Notaro, and Mae Martin. The show is produced, recorded, and edited by Thomas Woulett. Email us at handsomepod at gml.com and follow us on social us at handsomepod at gmail.com and follow us on social media at handsomepod. What a podcast! Home insurance is complicated.

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