Handsome - Tom Hanks asks about road trips

Episode Date: August 6, 2024

It's Handsome's 50th episode, and we're celebrating with one of our all time favorites, Tom Hanks! That's right, the Rom Tom himself asks Fortune, Mae and Tig a question about epic road trips, with detours along the way for renewing vows, horse costume logistics, "That Thing You Do," and much more! Thanks for listening, all you Handsome and pretty ladies, and here's to 50 more!LIVE STREAMING SHOW Aug 24! Tickets: dynastytypewriter.com/handsomeHandsome is hosted by Tig Notaro, Mae Martin, and Fortune FeimsterFollow us on social media: @handsomepodMerch: handsomepod.comWatch on youtube: youtube.com/@handsomepodEmail the show: [e-mail] Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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your comedy records. so again this is pre-order and then the album actually comes out september 27th so get it now. Chattin' with friends on the handsome pod. Chattin' with friends on the handsome pod. Cheers. Cheers. Welcome to another episode of the Handsome Podcast. To our 50th episode, I'm your, one of your hosts, Mae Martin, I'm joined of course by Fortune Feimster.

And Tic Notaro. That was like a game of chicken. It always is. It always is. 50 episodes. I know. Holy. Wow. That's a lot.

I thought we weren't gonna last past April. You know what happens when something turns 50? What? It's over the hill. That's over the hill, but you have to say the infamous Molly Shannon character Sally O'Malley. I knew you were going to do that. I'm 50.

50 years old and I like to kick and stretch and kick because I'm 50. I will tell you guys, just yesterday, the Molly Shannon herself just liked my video of Handsome Podcasts on my Instagram. You know what that means. We got to ask her for a question. That's right, if anyone likes our any video. She lives in my neighborhood. Well go knock on her door.

Yeah. Take your camera. Absolutely, no it's so, she rides around on her little bike and. I've seen her ride around on that bike. Absolutely. No, it's so, she rides around on her little bike and- I've seen her ride around on that bike. Yeah. She's the best. She's cool as hell, yeah.

I love her. Iconic characters. What, are some of your favorite memories from our podcast, guys? You're gonna make me cry. Looking back on a, we're almost at our year anniversary as well. What are we gonna do for our anniversary? Oh boy. Should we do a throuple French kiss? Yes.

Well actually our live show was like right around our year anniversary. Oh, okay. Should I? So weiant to come to the live show and we renew our vows as co-hosts? As a pod? Oh my God, that would be so fun. I'm actually, are you an officiant? Either of you? I am.

So I could officiate our whatever ceremony. Ourselves? Yeah, ourselves. Oh my God. Do you take a vow to love and support, to honor and obey? I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna officiate our renewing the vows. I don't think we ever did a vow.

Yeah, we never did a vow, which was that was a huge mistake on our part. Huge mistake. We never had a blood oath. Huge oversight. Wow, 50 and today's a special one. Oh man, is it ever? I mean, we won't spoil the beans.

I know everybody sees the name before they click on it. We know you guys know but we're gonna pretend like you don't know. Yeah, yeah, it's like a shared sort of delusion. There might be like people that don't really understand electronics, that don't read things or I don't know. I was in line next to this elderly couple yesterday, and one of them was saying,

you know, sometimes on my phone, my text messages come through blue, and then sometimes they come through... Oh, it was the man. He said, and sometimes they come through green. And she said... She said, you know, I think that is from how much sunlight is out. Because I've noticed at night that my text messages are green. So I think and it was so fun to eavesdrop on this. That's so good.

My parents, they don't have a car anymore. But when they go on vacation, they rent a car. So they just went to Antigua and they had rented a car. And they're telling me this story. They're like, well, on the first day, we were told it was a 15 minute drive to the beach. And we got in the car and we got lost. And we drove for an hour and 45 minutes.

And the whole time, the car was saying stuff to us. It was talking to us. And finally, I looked at your father and I said, James, listen to what the car is saying.'" And we realized the car was saying, turn left. It was giving us instructions. And then they started like, and they're like, "'And wouldn't you know, we found it in 15 minutes.'"

Oh my God, hilarious. But at first they were just like, shut up to the car. Yeah. Oh my God. I can't even imagine how lost I'm gonna be in a matter of five years. I mean, truly, like with electronics and I always think about this woman that I was at the airport on a layover

and she was in a wheelchair and somebody who worked at the airport, she had them, I saw the whole thing go down. She had them, she was pointing to like the coffee bean and tea leaf at the airport. Yeah. And that happened to be where I was going to get a coffee. And he pulls her up to the counter. Oh my God, it was the cutest, saddest thing I'd ever seen in my life.

She goes up to the counter and she says, yes, one ice cream cone, please. The coffee bean and tea leaf. And the person behind the counter was just like, yeah, we just have coffee. And you could tell she was just still living from like old timey days that you just go up to a counter and order an ice cream Yes, make one appear, please This is the cutest saddest thing in the world

And then she got rolled away Without an ice cream cone. I feel like i'm in that world right now. I I surprised my mom and flew home for a little less than two days because she had knee surgery. And I surprised her. I didn't tell her I was coming. I was like, because where is she going? She's, you know, in her household, holed up. And so I surprised her and then I took her for milkshakes and she's like, are you going to be embarrassed if I take my walker?

I'm like, no, whatever. You have knee surgery, whatever. And so she's scooting around the milkshake place and she was going to get a table and a lady like raced her to the table and took the table. I'm like, my mom's in a literal locker. Oh my God. How old was this other person? She was older, but not like my mom.

She was maybe about 10 years older. Like my age. She was like maybe 65 or something. I would see red if, oh, my mom was like, I hope you're proud of yourself. I was like, oh my God. She said that to the woman? Yeah. And what'd the woman say? I think mom was like, I hope you're proud of yourself. I was like, oh my God. She said that to the woman? Yeah.

And what did the woman say? I think she was like, I didn't realize you were going to this table. My mom was like, I told everyone I was headed to that table. I told everyone. I announced it to the room that I was headed to that table. Well, you know, it's a fun thing to say

if somebody cuts you off or does something like that and they're older than you, it's fun to just say, go on, age before beauty. Oh, that's good, that's good. That is a good one. What did we say we call these, tigbits, right? Tigbits. Yeah. Tinglebitties.

Yeah. Oh no, go ahead, age before beauty. I love that. I love that. Then I drove my mom, my father, and my stepmother to watch some fireworks. And I parked the car and I sat there in the car listening to them all talk like I was in the movie Cocoon. listening to them all talk like I was in the movie Cocoon. Oh my God. Watching fireworks. So I love that you didn't get out of the car. You just sat in the car and watched.

Because my mom can't really walk right now. So I was like, I'll just drive us there and we'll roll the windows down and watch. And she was, she loved it. Really? But my mom is like that regardless of knee situations, like we've gone to other countries to visit and she likes to get on the hop on hop off bus. I love those. Haven't I told you that?

No. Oh, she likes to hop on, but she doesn't want to hop off. Say what's the bus to take her around the whole city. And then she goes goes I've seen it all. So she's not actually getting beautiful city. She's not doing any of the attractions or anything. She doesn't want it. Oh my gosh. I was a ride by it. I did it as a joke years ago in Dublin. I was like, I'm going to get on the hop on and hop off, like a joke to myself. I was completely alone on tour.

And I was like, this is hilarious. I'm gonna go on a hop on hop off bus and just have like a weird day and then have some stories to tell. And then I did it and I was like, this is actually awesome because you can, oh my God, you can plug in your headphones and you can listen and learn about the city or you can just unplug it and just like have just a quiet

day with the, you know, it's the double decker bus and there's no roof on there and you can just check out the scenery. And I do it now when I travel overseas. That's when I usually do it. And I just did it in Rome when I was there for the Vatican. And that was like a perfect, I had a day off and I was like, I'm just gonna go ride around and it's a few hours. And so.

Hop on. I mean, did we talk about the Vatican? You dropped it in. I mean, I don't even know where to begin. We have not talked about the Vatican. You dropped it in. I mean, I don't even know where to begin. Oh, did we? We have not talked about the Vatican. Oh, I thought we had. No, I don't know if we even said on the pod that you went to the Vatican with a bunch of comedians and you met himself.

Yes, the Holy Father. Well, we thought it was there were 10 American comedians that went, and we thought we were the only ones. And then Stephen Colbert told me before we went, he was like, I thought we were the only 10. He was like, and that's classic American of me. He was like, but there's a hundred comedians from around the world that have been invited. And he said, there's only 10 Americans.

And he said, Stephen Merchant had come on his show and was like, hey, I heard you're going to the Vatican. And Stephen was like, you're going? Oh my God. And he was like, that's when I realized that, of course, Americans think we're the only ones. But also that's- You mean there's 90 other comedians? Well, that was the other hilarious thing. I think there were like 40 Italian comedians. I know, had no clue, but it was just an interesting experience because,

I mean, I was raised Catholic. I certainly am not a practicing Catholic. And I was not raised in a house where anybody was really talking about God. And anyway, there are people in my life that are Catholic and are very Catholic that I'm still very close to. And there was a part of me interested in going

just because they're like my, they're my first girlfriend's parents and I'm still very close. Like my family, Stephanie and our kids, we go see them in Ohio. Oh my God. That's wild. Yeah, really wild.

I don't know if I can convince Jack to do that. Yeah, yeah. I I don't know if I could convince Jack to do that. Yeah, yeah. I'm very thankful that, well, Stephanie is a firm believer that if you dated somebody, that means you had a real connection with them. And if you've moved on romantically, then you should, why would you cut off a connection if you really are friends with them and there's nothing else going on. And so I feel very grateful that she feels that way because these people are in their

eighties and they're like parents to me. They're like, they're just the greatest people. And obviously, just very religious and conservative, obviously in ways, but also open in ways. And I think that they've been a huge part of this, this complication and struggle in life of trying to bridge the gap of extreme differences in the world and really seeing how, when you do stick your heels in on one side, whatever the argument or whatever your political beliefs or religious beliefs,

you really divide yourself. And it's not that I was going to the Vatican because I believe and am open to becoming a Catholic follower. Yeah, that wasn't the expectation, right? No, not at all. It was like a symposium on humor. Yeah, the Pope was speaking, he has audiences where he's- He was trying to type five. No, but he speaks about different, you know, topics. And this was about humor and the importance of comedy and how it changes people's minds

and all sorts of things. And I wanted to have the experience. I certainly know about the negative side of religion and Catholicism. Did you find that you were starstruck in a way that you weren't expecting to be? No, absolutely not. Oh my God, absolutely not. I can't impress this gal.

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But my point of bringing them up also is that there's so much that I don't acknowledge and plenty of people will disagree with me, but there's things I don't acknowledge, there's things that they don't acknowledge within our relationship and love for each other. And I have no regrets around that. I adore these people. Yeah, I'm of that mindset too.

Yeah. And there's nothing I can say walking into an 83-year-old's house and change their mind about abortion or anything like that. And they're not going to change my mind. And we just meet in a loving place. And anyway, but, uh, but no, I didn't feel starstruck when I met the Pope. Um, you know, it was more a fun experience being there with so many comedians that I respect and think are some of the funniest people alive

and having meals together and touring the Vatican. And one of the things the pope did say was to not shy away from making fun of religion or him or whatever. And in the very end of what he said was, and jokingly he said, pray for me, not against me. But he has been one of the more progressive popes. There's plenty of things that haven't changed and likely won't change. They were making a documentary, right? About you guys going there. Well, yeah, when it was originally,

when I thought it was just the 10 of us, I had reached out to Steven and I was like, hey, this feels like a documentary, you know, 10 comedians walking to the Vatican. And, but we didn't know there were 100. So, but yeah, we did film our trip there and I don't know how the process is going with editing. I had reached out to Stephen the other day and he said that he's still waiting to see

any footage because his production company is who took on the role of actually, well, I had a friend in Rome who's a producer and she helped organize the crew and work with his company. And so I don't know what's gonna come of it, but I just really had a fun trip with some really funny people. It was Julie Louis Dreyfus, What? Conan, Chris Rock,

Oh my God. Steven Colbert. I have a question. Gaff again. Gaff again, Mike Herbiglia. Conan, Chris Rock, Stephen Colbert. I have a question. Gaffigan, Mike Herbiglia. How many times did somebody say, keeps going. How many times did somebody say, when in Rome?

Not once. Okay. A real missed opportunity. It's funny because like Whoopi is because Whoopi was such a huge live performer back in the day, but it's weird to not see that side of her anymore. Well, and what was also interesting was Whoopi was raised, I think, partially Catholic,

and she's very interested and drawn to the Catholic Church. This was her second time in the past year to go visit the Vatican. I'm interested in from a historical... Oh, David Sedaris was there? Anyway, go ahead. I'm interested from a historical perspective as well, like just the Vatican itself and the art and the history of where they acquired all these riches and like this sort of shady, but just the rich history. Also that great sequence in Mission Impossible, Ghost Protocol. I think it was Ghost Protocol where Tom infiltrates the Vatican.

Oh, classic Tom, huh? Classic Tom. Classic Tom. He's always infiltrating. Anyway, that was, there's obviously more to say, especially all the different little interesting details that I got in there. But I also wanna acknowledge my visit to the Vatican

isn't an endorsement. Not an endorsement. And I'm very aware of the abuse that's gone on and every aspect of everything, I'm well aware. Obviously I'm not aware of everything, but. Well, religion in general is so complicated, especially, I mean, just the Catholicism goes back so far. So it's, you know, wars have happened over religion and obviously it's a complicated

thing for our community. It continues. For our own different reasons. I can't believe this is our 50th episode and we're finally tackling religion. We're taking on Catholicism. It did make me think about the Da Vinci Code, which ties in. And our questioner today is God. Our questioner today is actually a religious person. Really?

Oh, yeah. Yeah, absolutely. He and his wife are very religious. I mean, I grew up, well, cause she's Greek. So the Greek church, maybe I wonder if Freed is part of the Greek Orthodox. I grew up going to church every Sunday. It was such a part of my childhood. And when I come home, there's a church in every corner. My mom's so proud that the church that we came up in,

the United Methodist, they finally voted to accept gay people in the church roles and whatnot. So she's very pumped about telling people about being a United Methodist. So I do, for as complicated as it is, I'm like you Tig, I know I learned so much about the Christianity and the Bible and all these things that I don't go to church now. And I'm like, I have all this knowledge of this world that I'm not a part of much anymore. I did get into religion on my own because my parents are such staunch atheists. And then in my adulthood, I got really into mythology and comparative religion and Joseph Campbell and stuff and thinking more from like a storytelling perspective, how have all these cultures across

different parts of the world found these sort of archetypal stories that resonate with us still and morality and stuff. So I'm interested in that sense. Like it's this iconographic storehouse that we can use to express ourselves on earth or something. Well, there's some mayfacts for you. I don't know. Whew, I thought you were gonna start talking about unicorns.

About unicorns? about unicorns. Why not? About unicorns? I saw unicorns in the Vatican. You did? They have one? An inflatable. How come all kids are obsessed with unicorns, it seems like.

They never really appealed to me. But they're magical. They have a horse with a horn. I never got into unicorns either. You're not into unicorns? That's actually pretty surprising. Wait, you think I would be? No, I would think May would be.

I was like, that's weird. Cause May's always talking about fanciful things. Yeah, I don't know why, like I'm pretty, I get jazzed about, you know, a Minotaur or like a fawn or what's it called, but not a unicorn. It's a male. Not a unicorn, wow. What about, did you ever get into those horse costumes

that we talked about? We still have to do that. The three of us in a horse costume. Oh no, I don't wanna be the, I don't know which part is worse. I'll be the butt, I'll be the butt. I wanna be the one that gets to stand up. I guess that's what we're waiting on.

I don't wanna bend over the whole time. I don't think my back and neck, you know, I had surgery and so it's real sensitive. I don't know if I could get in that position. I'm not flexible. What about like the Trojan horse where we all get inside its belly and somebody wheels us into the comedy venue

and then we burst out. I'd be into wheeling. Yeah. Yeah. Wheel me all day long. Or we could have you just be the horse and Fortune I could ride you. I could.

No. All right. Now we're talking. Now we're talking. Sounds handsome. I've been pumping up. That's a handsome horse. Oh yeah, they do say that.

Yeah, and handsome comes, the word handsome, I've said this before, it comes from, the way you measure horses, how many hands is it? And it's a handsome horse. Okay, we'll have to believe you. So handsome. How do you say that before? Maybe early on.

I think in the early episode, first or second episode, May did let us know. Bring these things back. We haven't said pineapple apart in a while. Oh my God. These things just dissolve into the ether. I feel like at some point we said we were gonna make a handsome,

oh, laundry pods, handsome laundry detergent pods. Oh yeah. It wasn't one of our best. Although we did get, I did see someone riding on an airplane. They tagged us and they had the middle seat was empty and they said they were sitting a pineapple apart. Yeah, yeah.

I saw that too. I liked that. That's what made me think about some of these things we haven't said in so long. pineapple apart. Yeah, yeah. I saw that too. I liked that. That's what made me think about some of these things we haven't said in so long. 50 episodes, how do you keep up? Yeah, and does, I mean, we, in the beginning, we were very on top of it with the merch,

with our, with phrases that people liked. I feel like we don't even know what we're saying anymore. So if we have said anything that you like, you guys point it out. Let us know what we're saying anymore. So if we have said anything that you like, let us know and we'll. The captain and the cabin boy want to know. I know we've talked about this before, but it's so true when people are like, oh my gosh, you said this thing,

or oh, I just listened to the episode and it was cracking me up. And they think that we have even the slightest clue what they're talking about. Have no idea what we've said any episode or when we recorded that. I think it's because all of our episodes are stream of conscious. That's how you say it. They are stream of conscious. We're not coming in with a list of things.

We have no idea what we're saying. Truth be told, if I didn't get the question, I don't know what the question is that's coming. Oh, I have no idea. I don't even look at that. So I'm even answering the question without my ponches on. In my early-

Fortune. Fortune. Fortune Marie. I think in the early days when I was desperate to impress you guys, maybe I was doing a little more prep. I was like, I was like, I hope they like me and my value comes in fact form.

And then now I'm trying to be a little more present, a little more in the moment. But if people- You could still bring some of those, we're very impressed by the way, you don't have to prep for that. But if you wanna occasionally have a Mayfact in your pocket. I mean-

Yeah, cause I'm for sure not going to prep. Okay, I'm going to start prepping hard. That's on your horse shoulders. What if I script everything I'm going to say and it doesn't change no matter what you say? We just see you checking off the whole list. Yeah. I'm like, okay, we talked about that. Okay, we talked about alligator teeth.

Okay. But it is why sometimes we are all over the places because none of this is planned. Yeah, yeah. No, I'm gonna start planning my bits. That's how we go from church and religion. To alligator teeth. You guys being so loose and fun and then it gets to me,

you're like, may I have anything to say? Well, in 1835 there was a. Wait, what was in 1835? Do you have a fact? Okay, what was going on in 1835? Well, that was. What do you guys think? Victorious? Was that leading up to the Civil War?

Oh. Oh gosh, I don't know. Oh God. Oh no. I feel like the Civil War was in the 1860s. The Civil War was 1861 through 65. Okay, okay. I did not just Google that. Did you Google it? I absolutely did.

Well then can we call that a TIG fact? Because I just pulled that up. Yeah, that was definitely a TIG. 1835, there was a war. Oh yeah. Has there ever not been a war? I know. What war happened?

It was the second Seminole War. When was the first one? Something in Texas. Texas Revolution happened. Oh, was that the Alamo? No. When Texas was that the Alamo? No. When Texas was trying to get their independence. The first attempt of assassination

of the US president Andrew Jackson. Whoa, no way. It failed. Is this off the top of your head? No. No. No. Fortune facts are called Google.

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Okay, Hans Christian Andersen's fairy tales told for children, that's published. I'm bored. Yeah, yeah. Maybe we should get our question then. Yeah, we got a really exciting questioner. Yeah, we do. Today's question asker is an Oscar Emmy

and Tony winning actor, producer, writer, and director known for his roles in iconic movies like Big, Philadelphia, Forrest Gump, Saving Private Ryan, Sleepless in Seattle, Captain Phillips, A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood, and countless more. Tom Hanks is asking today's question. Oh man, this is cool. I have to say I am such a fan of the Tom Hanks. Yeah.

Well, I think we coined the phrase Rom Tom on this podcast. Yes, we did. So it's fitting that Tom is appearing for our 50th. I mean, if you're alive, how are you not a fan of Tom Hanks? Exactly. What is your problem? It's like, you don't like Dolly Parton?

Get out of my face. Stop hurting my vibe, man. You don't like Tom Hanks? Get off of my cloud. Scram, clown. I mean, just you saying those movies, you're like iconic, iconic, iconic. I mean, the biggest movies of our lifetime has been from this man.

Yeah. I know. And they all kind of means something different to everyone. Like, you know, you watch them at different points in your life and yeah. And different genres. He's all over the place. Did you know that Tom Hanks is actually a distant relative of Abraham Lincoln and Mr. Rogers himself.

That is true. That is true. I had no idea. Wow. Yeah. Well, that's fitting because he played Mr. Rogers. And next Abe Lincoln. I'd like to see it though.

Can I tell you, when I met Tom and Rita, I was at the Stand Up for Cancer, you know, that thing that Katie Couric has all the networks airing the benefit and charity all night, same time. I was there performing on that, that particular show and I was, I was walking into the green room and Tom and Rita, Rita is a cancer survivor and the two of them were walking into the green room and just a swarm of people working on the event and their people, whoever swarming in with them. And I just kind of scooted by to get into the green room. And then I hear in Tom Hanks, his voice, he's like, Rita, there's Tignotaro.

And I was like, I was so confused that, of course you don't think Tom Hanks knows who you are. And they're like, oh, hi. And they had seen my documentary. Oh, nice. Yeah, and so I spent the entire evening with Tom and Rita becoming totes BFFs. And they were like, when are you performing at Largo again? And I was like, you know, I perform at Largo.

So I gave them a date and Tom was like, okay, I put it in my calendar. We'll see you then. And I was like, all right. Of course, didn't think they were gonna show up. Sure enough, Tom and Merida come to the show, they're waiting for me backstage. And I was like, this is hilarious. That's awesome.

And so yeah, I've worked with them since then on cancer charities. And it's just been a real delight getting to know both of them. Damn, I love that. Man, that's cool. I worked with Tom's son, Colin. He's a gym and looks just like his dad. Looks exactly and has that same good vibe that Tom has. Good positive vibes.

Wait, we haven't heard his question yet. Oh, right. We're too busy kissing his ass. We're in love with him. We are. And his assistant, guess what? What? Huge. Handsome fan.

Nice. Massive handsome fan. Love it. In fact, we've sent her merchandise. Really? Whoa. Should we hear his question? Yeah, let's hear his question.

Hey, handsome, it's Tom Hanks. Here's my question. What was the first big time road trip that you or your listeners made by themselves? And I'm talking about a big time road trip. That means at least two days on the road and at least one night on the road spent however it was. It's best if it's what you did by yourself, but it can be with one or two other people.

But it's got to be an epic road trip. Tunes, food, miles, car, inclement weather maybe? He's biased typewriters. I've heard he is a lover of typewriters and writes people notes via typewriters. That checks out for me. That feels like a match. Tom typing away. Man, when you see him, it's like seeing an old friend. I know.

When you met him, were you instantly very comfortable because you feel like you know him? Of course. And I couldn't believe, and that's what documentaries do, but I couldn't believe how much he knew about me. I was like, wait, I don't know a lot about a lot of people, but I'm very familiar with Tom and he has that vibe where you just, yeah, you feel like you've known him forever.

Did you say you doing that thing you do. You know what I'm talking about? You know I did. And that works perfectly. And you tell me it's not just them because it's just them doing that thing you do. I do not know this reference. You don't know that song? It's from that movie.

That thing you do. That thing you do. Yeah, I felt very instantly familiar and connected to him. The road trip, we've talked once about a group road trip where I think it was decided I was gonna be put on the rack on the roof of the car and there was early days. Those were early days. Now you can be in the car, May, you've worked your way up.

Thank you. And wait, was he asking our very first road trip or an early road trip? Maybe most memorable road trip that you did sort of on by yourself or with one or two others. I went on a road trip with these friends of mine years ago in Colorado, this guy Mike and his best friend Micah. And- No.

Yeah, yeah. Mike and Micah. And no, yeah, yeah. Mike and Micah. I don't know why that blew my mind so much, but no way. But they were total mountain men and they were rock climbers. They were just, you know, outdoorsy as outdoorsy gets. And we, we took a road trip out to the Canyonlands in Utah. Here we go back to the Indigo Girls. They have a line in one of their songs, I slept in rainy Canyonlands and there I was,

huge Indigo Girls fan and I think that's around when that song came out. I think it's from their Nomads Indian Saints album. But I was in the Canyonlands with Mike and Micah camping and it was pouring rain. I was freezing and I remember Mike telling me, because I wanted to put more socks on and they were like, you got to take your socks off because that's actually how you warm up more is to not have socks on. Really? I know. I don't remember if I took them off or not, but I think I was like

totally the whiny dead weight on the- Oh, really? I mean, I was having a blast. It was so much fun. And I remember. It sounds awful to me. Yeah, same, same. But we went bouldering. Oh fun, fun.

Even worse. It was incredible. You know how to boulder? You were like climbing stuff? Not just climbing stuff. It was like when you're in between and you're wedging your body up between the boulders. And I remember sliding down one of the boulders

and I was in blue jeans and it completely ripped. Your new asshole. Like completely wore through my jeans on the backside. But it was such like a out there camping in the rain and bouldering and just eating whatever trail mix and bugs and all that stuff. I hate outdoorsy stuff. Well, I'm glad you didn't come with us.

I would have been the dead weight. We gotta do this again? Yeah. You guys both drive, and I guess going on the road and stuff by yourself, you're very used to time in a car by yourself on the open road. Oh yeah, I love driving. You do, Fortune, are you good?

Love it, yeah. Safe driver, Allstate wants to know. I'm a great driver, thank you Allstate. Yeah, I love driving, love it. I told y'all in here I started driving my grandma's car in the cemetery when I was 12, running over tombstones. I was trying to get behind a car as soon as possible. I'm almost worried about what would happen,

what will happen when I get my license if I'll just get on the road and love it too much, I'll never come back. I can't believe it's been a year now that you started talking about getting your license. You still haven't got it. I know, I know. Put that on the list.

We gotta get your license. Before I could afford to fly everywhere, I was like, God, I can't wait to not drive everywhere. Can't wait to fly everywhere. And then once I was able, God, I can't wait to not drive everywhere. Can't wait to fly everywhere. Then once I was able to fly everywhere, I was like, I hate to be- In the air. Well, and just controlled by the schedule of the flight.

I love getting up whenever I want at the hotel, going out and having breakfast and coffee. I love taking a walk around whatever town I'm in. I just, now I hate that I have to be like, oh my gosh, my flight's at 10 or my flight's at two or whatever it is. And then I- When I'm touring, I rent a car every time. Same. Yeah.

And I usually try to drive between cities. Me too. If it's within like six hours, I'll drive. I was gonna say five or so for me. Yeah. I'd prefer it. Have you done like a real road, it's a very like American thing I feel,

like a real road trip, Fortune? Like a... Well, my most memorable one, my mom and I drove cross country to move me to LA. This was when you guys hashed out a lot of stuff. That's why. Yeah, I had touched on one of the things that happened on that trip.

But yeah, it was, we drove across country. I had a $250 credit card. I don't know if I mentioned this part. It's all I could get approved for at the time. And it was what was gonna get me to LA. My mom was a teacher, so she had no money. And so this $250 credit card was what was going to be our thing to get us in the hotels and to pay for the food and stuff.

And did I tell you that the American Idol was happening at the time? And she was obsessed with Clay Hagan. And I had been living in Spain, so I didn't know who is this, what is happening. And it was like the finals were that week. So she put a sign in the car that said, honk if you love Clay. What? And I was like, what is happening? So the whole, right, people are honking. And I'm like, I is happening? So the whole, right, people are honking and I'm like, I haven't even watched the show. I don't know who this guy is.

I thought for sure you were going to say that she just played his music the whole trip. Oh, I'm sure that happened too. And so we were like going cross country, like on a shoestring budget, we get to Vegas and I had never been to Vegas before and we had like maybe like a hundred dollars cash and that whatever was left on this credit card and they opened the slots for they're like, oh for two, we're going to loosen the slots and come, you know, everyone come gather around and play the slots and you can win all this money. And my mom was like, we have to do it. We have to do this. I'm like, well, we only have $100 left.

We still have to make it to LA. She's like, we'll just spend 50 of it. So we put $50 in the slots, like, and lose it within like 30 seconds. And I go, you know, this might as well have been a thousand dollars. And the guy comes right behind me and hits like, you know, $300. And I'm like, no! And so we have like, we have to spread the rest of this money out. So we have, we're like, how are we gonna entertain ourselves tonight? We had luckily already booked a room and paid for that. So my mom and I decided that we are going to go to one of those, what do you call it?

Presentations for a time share. What? Yes, because- Oh, because they give free meals? They give you free meal. Oh my, keep on the free meal and They give you free meals. Oh my God, I've done that. They give you free meals and they give you tickets to see a show. We're like, we have no money left to do fun things.

Oh my God. We go to this timeshare presentation and they do the whole spiel or whatever. Then they do the full court press at the end of like, all right, are you ready to buy a place? My mom thought it would be hilarious. Now I'm broke, we're moving, I'm moving to LA and she goes, I don't have the money to buy anything, but my daughter here does. And I'm looking at her like, what?

And so they come, they like come to me like, you know, a moth to a flame, like, oh, you, you want to buy something? I'm like, oh, not, I mean, my checkbook's at the, the, the hotel and they go, oh, we'll provide a full limo to your hotel to get your checkbook. I'm like, yeah, I don't really know. And my mom was like, you've been looking for something, haven't you? And I'm like, shut up. Oh my God. She just keeps making it worse and worse and worse. Wait, you didn't take the limo ride? We didn't know.

Well, so then I'm like. Cause then you could be like, I can't find my checkbook. I know. And so this goes on for like 30 minutes where she keeps acting like I would buy this, but I'm not sure that this is what I want for my portfolio. Wait, what were you dressed like when she was saying. I mean like t-shirt, jean, jean

shorts, and, and they're, they're all these people surrounding us. And then I think they find I, I, you know, not having boundaries and knowing what to do. I'm like, Oh, maybe we'll see. I don't know. They look, I think they finally looked up my name and saw I had no credit. Oh my God. I go, okay.

And then they like, all of a sudden I like someone whispers in the ear and they just all like, all right, thank get out of it. Basically like, yeah, ma'am, ma'am, you're wasting our time. Where is our, do we still get the buffet and the tickets to the show? And they're like, yeah. And they like, so we go get to the, we go to a buffet and like a show. And I, I just was horrified this whole experience. You still have the condo, I guess.

So I'll never forget that road trip just for that experience alone. Oh my God. She's an eccentric, but clean and consigned. I don't think I've done, this is so naughty. And that, I don't think I've done, this is so shocking, but I don't think I've done a proper road trip really. Put it on the list, Thomas. Yeah.

Not even as a passenger? We know you have it driven. I mean, yeah, it's the driving part that is. I traveled around Nepal by myself, and that was the most formative experience, but I don't think I've done a road road. Well when I was four or three my parents they put all our stuff in storage and we went across Europe, my brother and I in the backseat and we drove for like six months we drove around because we had no money and my dad was right he had a job

reviewing like four hotels so we knew we had like four free hotels in Europe. And the big story from that trip was that I became obsessed with this man that we met in Tunisia, who was our tour guide, and his name was Fethi. We have all these pictures like I could not, I wouldn't let go of this man. I was like holding his, I was three or four. He's, I'm holding his hand. I'm gripping onto Fetih. And I don't know what, maybe I knew him in another life or something, but I met him and apparently it was like hearts just came out of my eyes.

I was like, I love Fetih. I wonder if he's listening. I hope so, oh man. How much would you give to be connected with Fetih again? Oh, I would give $50,000. Whoa. I don't know. I'd be so disappointed.

He'd be like wildly transposed. He'd be like, and who are you? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And do you give him the 50 grand or just? I think I give it to the Lord or something or to the guys. The Lord gets it. But I really, these poor ladies. To the Catholic Church.

Yeah, I give it. I did, I went on one, the most awkward road trip probably was I, I had, I got engaged and then my, my very good friend Sabrina got engaged the following day in the same place. Like we were all, the four of us on a couple's vacation. So we're both engaged. Competition, huh? Yeah. Oh, she cop, let's say. I'll show you. She copied me. So we're both engaged. Competition, huh? Yeah. She caught, let's say,

so like a year later, she and her wife are getting married and me and my fiance have broken up, but we're both still very close to them. Wait, not on the same trip? No, we didn't break up. Okay. No, no, no. Like a year later, that would be quite a trip. Yeah. Oh my God. No, it's Sabrina's wedding and me and my now ex-fiancee are kind of in the process of breaking up, but we're still going to their wedding. And it was like, like we're in the, we drove together in the car. We knew we were breaking up. We knew we got engaged and celebrated the engagement with this couple.

And then I had to host the wedding. Oh, wow. Oh, host the wedding? Yeah, it was like the MC kind of. Oh, I see. You know what I mean? Oh, you had to pay for everything. Oh no, oh my God.

Yes, this is on me. Maze the father. Yeah, no, it was like, and so I had to make these beautiful speeches about romance and commitment and marriage. And it was so, I'm a fraud. Heartbreaking with me and my ex.

But I always remember because we were on the highway and like stuck in traffic and she's driving, also always annoying that I can't drive, like you know what I mean? And then I really had to pee and we were mid argument and she's like, I'm not pulling over. And I was like, well, Vinay, you got to have to because I really have to pee.

And she kind of just laughing and she was like, I'm not going to, I'm really... And I was like, well, you have to because I really have to pee and she kind of is laughing and she was like, I'm not going to. I'm really fit. And I was like, haha. And she was like, no, I just don't. I don't think I'm going to pull over. And I was like, no, I'm going to. That is wild.

I mean, I was laughing too, but I ended up I peed in a in a cup, like a big plastic cup. OK, so you guys were having fun in this moment. I guess I'm like, please walk me through this. It was like, I feel like I've, as I've, you know, shared recently, I feel like I don't understand certain senses of humor. Right. And it's like, that's weird.

It was a fine line, cause we were having a tense moment, but we were, I was also, it was like a kind of game of chicken. I was like, are you serious right now? You're not been, she was like, yeah, I guess I think I'm serious. I'm not going to pull over. It was now we laugh, but we're friends now still. But yeah, I had to hold this cup of pee for a while.

How long did the joke go on? Well, I mean, to the point that I had to pee in a plastic cup. Yeah. Piss my pants. Yeah. You know what? It's. I would not be able to get that in the cup.

I know. I went to the backseat. I would have pissed all over myself. And why couldn't you? I just don't have, it just doesn't work out like that for me. The stream is not streaming. You've got a fire hose. I got a fire hose.

Yeah. Oh man. I sort of thought this was a funny story and then as the reactions now have made me feel like, was that bad? I think it was pretty funny. I wouldn't have found it funny. I don't think at the time. I think if I had been upset, she would have pulled over, but I was kind of laughing. I mean, I deserved it. I mean, if you were laughing, then you were definitely giving the indication

that this is okay. I thought you guys were having a hard time together. We were. And then she's like, I'm not gonna pull over. And then you're, okay. Then I don't understand. This is where again, I don't understand when things cross over.

I think we don't understand because May's not sure if they're pissed or not. I'm not sure. The memory is now like, yeah. I mean, also we were late, we were in traffic, but I did kind of, you know, I deserved it really. But it was, as I'm telling it, I'm like, what happened there? But I think it was funny. There's probably gonna be a number of stories in your life where you're like, wait, now that I think about it, there's so many.

Yes, yes. This is not how I remembered it at the time. Oh, my story about when I hooked up with the masseuse. I tell some people, they're like, that's hot. Some people are like, I'm so sorry. I'm like, I don't know how to feel. Yeah. Well, let's hear O'Hanks's answer.

And my answer to that question is 1978. Yeah. Sacramento, California to Lakewood, Ohio took four days all by myself in my Volkswagen Beetle that was packed with all of my worldly possessions and a couple of tapes that I had, of course, mixtapes that I had done myself. I think I can still remember the pattern of the songs in it. The first night I spent sleeping in a gas station of a Husky self-serve in Elko, Nevada. That's where I spent a few hours tossing a turn. And then I made it, made it in three more nights. 1979.

That was my first solo road trip. Wait, 78 or 79? I know I love. Well, he said 78, right? Yeah. Maybe it was over New Year's Eve. Let's imagine. Yeah.

I wonder why he was going to Ohio. Yeah, why was he moving? We have a lot of follow-up questions. I feel like he's, I feel like he's filming Sleepless in Ohio. Is he from those parts? He's from Sacramento, I thought. Oh really? I thought he was from Northern California, but.

I genuinely. Because normally people are, the trip like that, they're going to like, I'm going to New York or LA to pursue my dreams. Yeah, but he was going to Ohio. Interesting. Thomas, where is he from? It says he was born in California.

Oh. Huh, I truly, I said just a minute ago, maybe he was going to film Sleepless in Ohio, and I wasn't joking. I got the name wrong, I truly thought first. Well, you know. Sleepless in Ohio and I wasn't joking. I got the name wrong. I truly thought. Well, you know, it all comes full circle because my ex's parents live in Ohio and love Tom Hanks.

Love Tom Hanks. They are Tom Hanks crazed. This says he's from Concord, California. Concord. All that is. Very famous. Tom Cork. Maybe he was going to college.

It says he participated in a theater festival in Ohio for three years. Oh, well there you go. What part of Ohio? Cleveland. I love that we're fact checking this story rigorously. Tawii didn't know what you were going to Ohio for. I'd love to know what songs he was listening to, you know?

I'd like to know if it was in 78 or 79. We could do a follow-up. I can reach out. Get to the bottom of this. Let's get to the bottom of this. Let's get to the bottom of this. He's from around the San Francisco area. That checks out. And the Bay area as people like to call it.

Is that what they say? Bay area. That sounds like Arnold Schwarzenegger. Arnold would be like the Bay area. Yeah, not too far off. Well, you gotta know I am known for my accents. Arnold Schwarzenegger would be like, the Bay Area. Yeah, not too far off. Well, you gotta know I am known for my accents. I just got like vicariously starstruck just because I remember the fact

that you're frequently seeing Arnold Schwarzenegger in your day. I see him every day. You're filming with him every day. It's all good morning for you. What are you doing? That was good, May. Thank you.

I feel like that was like my impersonation of a comedian doing an impersonation. Like his normal voice isn't that crazy, right? Wait, where is Arnold's question? Is very thick. Oh, he's gonna do one. I just need to film him doing it. Okay, all right.

But that doesn't, I mean, I still have two months left. But also I think we're gonna be joining Arnold unless things change at Oktoberfest in Germany. No. Nice. Was that because you're filming in Prague? You're gonna go- We're filming in Prague and so we're all gonna stay a few, like a week longer

and to join him at our party. He's Austrian, right? Yeah. Okay. He's Austrian, but he goes to Oktoberfest every year. He has a room that they keep just for him. Oh my God. Every year for Oktoberfest.

I'm gonna go with Tom Hanks to the Ohio Fringe Theater Festival. That's right. I'm going to go bouldering by myself. But I'm not, but I'm, I'm pumped to go, but I don't drink beer and I don't like sausages. Yeah, actually me too. Or chin.

No, I know. So I got to find other things to, I will eat some Wiener Schnitzel. But I am not into the, that's mainly what people do is drink beer and eat the sausages. Where is it taking place again? Munich. Oh, in Munich.

Oh, there'll be tons of stuff to do. I am gonna buy a Liederhosen. Oh my God. I didn't know until this moment how badly I need to see you in Liederhosen. I'm gonna wear the boy one though, not the girl one. Of course, of course. What if I showed up in that really skirt?

I'm just a pretty little lady. And pink tails. You love the sound of music, so I'm just picturing you dressed up. I know, I could sing all of those songs in a lead arousal. Oh my God. Well, we've got time. Yeah.

Well, it'll be a real treat, but yeah, I'll have him ask a question. Amazing. Yeah. Amazing. Well, I remember that we're like, well. This has been fun. Well, we do need to mention our live show in Toronto, which is sold out. We have two shows that are sold out.

One, we have a streaming, a live streaming option for people that can't make it to the show. That's August 24th. If you go to social media, go to our social media page, you can buy your ticket and you can watch it for up to a week. And it's gonna be a real handsome reunion, okay? And we might renew our vows as handsome hosts.

Daily beloved, we're gonna let that press on. Not even renew, for the very first time. We will, I will officiate our union as co-hosts of the Handsome Pod right there. Should we all surprise each other with something prepared? A speech? Not to give you homework or anything, but I don't know. No, I love homework.

Do you? Love it. Famously. Famously. Absolutely excelled in school. I borrowed Tom Hanks' typewriter and write vowels out. Clickety clack, clickety clack. Yeah, we should each write vowels.

That's a good idea. Okay, I'm up for that. Yeah, that's kind of the only thing I've got to promote is I'm pinning all my hopes on that one show. I have one last show left of my entire tour. Comes to an end this Saturday after a year and a half of touring this tour, the Live, Laugh, Love tour. If you live in Charlestown, West Virginia,

come to the Hollywood Casino this Saturday night and you'll see my last show. And then I'm putting this act to bed and you'll see my special sometime in the fall. Yes. Yes. Well, I will have shows around the Toronto area from time to time at what I have one at Comedy Bar. I know it well. I know it well. Yeah. And then when I'm in LA, I'll be doing shows at Largo and Dynasty Typewriter. Check tignotaro.com for all show information. I also have some random one-off shows in different cities, but I'm mainly going to be filming

and working on new material and hosting this podcast with my co-hosts. But also check out my special hello again. And then also check out the movie Stephanie and I directed called MIOK starring Dakota Johnson. And you will see me in a wig. And until next time, keep it handsome. Happy 50 episodes. Thanks, Tom Hanks.

Handsome is hosted by me, Tig Notaro, Mae Martin, and Fortune Themester. The show is produced, recorded, and edited by Thomas Ouellette. Email us at handsomepod at gmail.com. Follow us on social media at handsomepod. Home insurance is complicated. You want the best insurance for the best price. Allstate can help. They're dedicated to make signing up for new policy or switching from

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