Hate Watch with Devan Costa - All The Small Subs
Episode Date: June 26, 2023OceanGate implosion, Taliban's PR team, stepdads, Stockton Rush, Blink 182 concert to celebrate, James Cameron remains king of the world, John's Submarine Corner Get weekly bonus episodes: https://www....patreon.com/HateWatchPodcast
Transcript
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It's good to be in something from the ground floor.
I came too late for that.
I know.
But lately I'm getting the feeling
that I came in at the end.
The best is over.
Many Americans, I think, feel that way.
He's gonna buy me a mockingbird.
Any of that.
Mockingbird.
Don't sing.
I'm gonna buy her a diamond ring.
Best movie ever made. No, it diamond ring. Best movie ever made.
No, it's fantastic.
Best comedy ever made, hands down.
Devin does this thing when we're driving.
He'll do the, what is it?
Feels like you're running at an incredible speed, Harry.
It cracks me up.
It's great.
Oh, man.
So, rest in peace to the retarded people of the Ocean Gate Submarine.
Rest in peace.
I miss them.
And shout out, though, the shining star of this whole thing.
Because one of the nice things when tragedy happens is that a lot of the times a hero emerges from the whole thing.
Yes.
And I'm, of course, talking about the stepson.
And that...
Yes.
That kid kicks ass.
That hero is this man right here.
I fucking love this guy.
What a god walking amongst mere mortals this kid is.
We don't deserve him.
Yeah, I love those autistic retards that, like, every smile is like that.
They still haven't figured out how to smile yet.
The stepson of missing billionaire Hamish Harding,
one of the five people on the last Titanic's Immersible,
posted a message about his stepfather.
And you know his step...
Look at his stepfather. He looks like his step, look at his stepfather.
It looks like a fucking girl with the dragon tattooed fucking Nazi
basement full of fucking Nazi memorabilia and China and a torture chamber.
Yeah.
So he,
the kid posted,
uh,
Hamish,
my dad,
my stepdad is lost in a submarine thoughts and prayers that the rescue
mission will be successful.
Then he posted, before announcing just minutes later,
that he'd be attending a Blink-182 concert.
Which is weird, because I was just at a Blink-182 concert,
and they rocked it.
And I met a guy that looked like him,
and he said he was about to inherit millions.
We're going to bring him on the show.
He's going to be a new co-host.
Yeah, this kid kicks ass.
It might be distasteful being here,
but my family would want me to be at the Blink-182 show
as it's my favorite band,
and music helps me in difficult times.
He goes, my dad, who's just been crushed in a submarine
at the bottom of the ocean,
he knows Blink-182 is my favorite band.
He wants me to be here.
He wants me to be here.
This is what my stepfather would want.
All the small things.
And then he was tweeting at Tom DeLonge.
Oh, he was?
He was tagging the band.
He tagged Travis Parker, Tom DeLonge, the other guy.
And he was basically like, hey, guys.
Dad's in the sub.
I'm at the concert.
And then they found him.
And they got him like backstage passes
And shit
He was the best night of his life
I mean listen
Nobody likes their stepdad
Especially if they're a billionaire
Especially if they're a fucking billionaire
Going down to see the Titanic
And not taking you
I don't want to meet him
He's all pissed he didn't go on the trip.
Yeah, what if he's suicidal?
He's like, I would have been great.
Wasn't there like a 19-year-old in there?
The other billionaire took his son.
But the son didn't want to go.
Yeah, the other billionaire forced him.
Did you hear that?
The son was like really scared for like weeks leading up to it.
And the guy was like, dude, it's going to be fine, bro.
That sucks.
He's like, get in there, fag.
Stop being a little queer, son. be fine that sucks he's like get in their bag bag it dude you're gonna get in that sub remote three miles down bro did you see the chad stepson also did the only fans thing
no that's that oh my you didn't see this, though?
This is the best thing that he did.
He's horny.
Do like submarine Stepson OnlyFans.
Yeah.
This is what he, so he did the best, the two best tweets.
Oh, he flirted with an OnlyFans model.
That's right.
Trying to get sympathy pussy.
Right.
So he tweeted once like, hey, please keep my family in your thoughts and prayers like
much appreciated.
And then his very next tweet was like a retweet of a chick who was posting her ass saying, can I sit on you?
And he goes, yes, please.
Good for him, dude.
He's really using it well.
I mean, everyone has this fantasy of getting sympathy for people you don't actually care about dying,
but everyone thinks you cared about them, and now you could use it.
He's getting submarine pussy off this.
Submarine sympathy pussy.
Yeah, yeah.
And God bless him, man.
God bless him.
He's handling it better than anyone else.
Yeah, we all could learn a thing or two from Brian, the audio guy 182 on Twitter.
Is that his name?
He's an audio guy.
His stepfather just imploded.
If anyone knows him,
we'd like to have him
on the podcast.
I actually think
that he's doing this,
handling this like a...
If anyone knows Brian
at AudioGuy182,
we want him on Hate Watch.
I'll try to get him
pussy too.
I've been trying...
I'll do announcements
for him.
I'll do pussy
announcements for him.
I'm going to do
everything in my power
to have like a chick
sit on his face
because he's fucking his family just died in a
submarine. Yeah. We should
buy a
submarine that is
impenetrable and go with him and see
the Titanic and he can flip off his dad
down there.
Through the glass. We take him to
his dad's bones floating around.
Yeah, they all were
turned into soup.
Yeah, how crazy would it be if your dad imploded, dude?
Look at this. This is what they think
it looked like.
Like, imagine if this happened to your dad, Devin.
Oh, this is the best fucking...
There's so many good things that came
from this, but you have to show who made
this. Oh, who made it?
We'll go back to the...
Scroll up and just click students
from the kabul polytechnic institute of engineering public it's so the taliban has their their own pr
department and they make stuff like this and so the taliban made this oh that's not kidding yeah
oh nice this is a wonderful demonstration.
Thanks, guys.
The Taliban's like, we love explosions.
Dude, they put those.
We're on it.
Listen to this music.
Oh, yeah, it's great.
I love America!
Death to America!
They recycled the animation from the Langoliers, too, apparently.
That looks like Wes Anderson's new movie.
That's crazy.
Look at the comments, too.
Everyone's making... They did a wonderful job, given the short time frame.
May Allah have mercy on the five men.
All these terrorist dudes are like,
Oh, it looks good to me.
Yeah, Jihad John's like,
Rest in peace to a retarded billionaire.
My friend can make better 3D animations on Blender.
Now, people are like trying to get jobs out of it.
No, this is funny, though, because then the Taliban responds, and they're like, okay, tell your friend.
We will get in touch with you, Mr. Shaheen.
Thank you.
Dude, please behave yourself, Mr. Ryan.
Can you hire the Taliban on Upwork?
Oh, yeah.
I'm sure you can.
Make me a decal for my Tacoma.
I bet you could pay them
to do something.
They'll write captions for a video or something.
What a bizarre fucking week this has been.
You know they died within an hour?
And the Navy
knew and they let everyone
be on this fucking wild
goose chase for three, four days.
You want to know something really weird?
My mom, maybe we call her or something.
She messaged me earlier, and she goes, hey, I have this friend at Arrowhead Country Club.
She owns several submarines.
She has jets.
She owns a bunch of different companies.
She's an expert on submersibles.
Somebody from the Navy just called her and told her that they know it's imploded.
Wow.
On Sunday.
On Sunday.
So, and then, like, when did they announce it?
Cameron knew early, too.
They didn't tell anybody, probably,
because I think there was this Hunter Biden info.
I saw that conspiracy.
They probably just wanted to, like,
let this be the news and not that.
Well, so here's...
That's fucking smart.
I saw it online, but it made sense to me.
I think what happened is that the transponder
stopped pinging
and then they were like, well, there are only
a couple of explanations. It's either
the signal's blocked because they're trapped
in the wreckage of the Titanic
or they imploded.
Plus the boom. It's going to put two
and two together. The boom?
Yeah, they heard a boom.
Oh, I didn't even know that.
No, that's the... All these subs...
You can hear these...
There's things that monitor sound underwater,
and all these people heard a boom,
and then they lost contact with the sub.
That's what James Cameron said.
James Cameron was like,
I knew Monday they were all...
Yeah, we have camera people.
We'll watch them in a second.
But it was retarded.
I mean, listen, man.
I've never seen anything stupider in my life than this.
When I saw the controls they use.
Listen, you don't tell people, like, you pay me $250,000.
I'll take you to see the Titanic.
I just got to make a quick stop at Bespa.
You should pull that up.
Show what it looks like.
It's like a Mad Catz controller.
It's not even a real 360 controller.
I know.
It's the one you give your buddy when you're playing this is a little brother controller this is interesting this was
six months ago this is a whole cbs uh breakdown of what it was and the guys explaining it and
how they're going to start charging people so this is before everything you could see and the
guy at cbs made it to the titanic with them and. It's crazy. Why is she dressed like she's on the Titanic?
David Pogue was invited recently to join the highly select
and very small group of people
who've actually made it to the bottom of the Atlantic.
By the way, you guys want to know,
I have another conspiracy I found online,
and I'm going to run with it.
The Titanic was shot down by bankers.
Yes.
Listen to this.
Okay, so Jacob Allstatt, I think, was his name.
He used to own, like, everything.
One of these guys that just owned the world, you know.
And he didn't want a centralized bank.
Got it.
J.P. Morgan, Rothschild, and Rockefeller did.
And so, you know, one day they all go, let's all go on a little cruise.
Thing called the Titanic.
And Jacob Ballstadt gets on,
Rothschild, J.P. Morgan,
Rockefeller get on,
but right at the last minute,
Rockefeller, J.P. Morgan,
and fucking Rothschild,
they just leave real quick.
The fucking,
the Splash Brothers,
they walk right out of there.
And Jacob Ballstadt stays. He didn't get a of there. Yeah. And Jacob Allstott stays.
He didn't get a lifeboat?
He couldn't get on a lifeboat.
Oh, is this real?
Yeah, this is real.
He died, and then weeks later,
they made the centralized banks.
That's pretty fucked.
So they, obviously, these guys,
these fucking people, you know,
we all know that we're controlled.
They planted an iceberg there.
And Leo spit-roasted his wife.
Yeah. That was probably Allroasted his wife. Yeah.
That was probably Alstott's wife.
Yeah.
Anyway, let's run with that.
So that's true, and you guys, I don't want to hear it.
That's a fact.
That's a fact.
They fired iceberg missiles at the Titanic.
I don't want to hear anybody say anything about an iceberg ever again.
It was the deep state.
It was a missile from the deep state.
End of story. an iceberg ever again. It was the deep state. It was a missile from the deep state. Mm-hmm.
End of story.
To view firsthand the eerie remains of the Titanic.
It promised to be quite a journey, quite a story besides.
Maybe you've heard the story of the Titanic.
Iceberg, run ahead!
I think there was a movie about it.
Oh, very good.
Our obsession with the Titanic's hilarious.
It's like at some point in 60 years,
are you going to be able to take a plane ride into the towers?
I'm going to experience something.
What was it like?
For the most part,
the only people who've ever seen the Titanic since that night
have been scientists.
Until now.
It's a very unusual business.
It's its own category.
That dude was in there, right?
Yeah, he's dead.
Stockton Rush is the CEO of OceanGate,
a company that offers dives to the Titanic.
I have a cooler, right?
Like an ice cooler, and I have an HDMI cable.
And then I just charge these billionaires
$250,000, and I'm like, I think I'm a genius.
I'm really arrogant.
I have a big ego.
I'm kind of like Walter White.
I probably got kicked out of my own granite state company a long time ago.
And now my plan is to implode people.
He's on Shark Tank like, hey, sharks, my business is crushing billionaires in a tin can.
He's got those pedals like a bicycle.
So what we're going to do, we're going to go down to the Titanic.
I'm going to get a bunch of people to fit inside the water cartridge of a water gun.
You see this sub?
It's going to look like a CO2 tank pretty soon, okay?
In a one-of-a-kind carbon fiber submersible
for $250,000
per person.
Who are the typical... Yeah, I don't know anything
about submarines. Every time I've seen
a picture of them, I'm like, that looks like utter shit.
Every submarine I've seen looks... It's a
fucking tank. It's steel
or it's whatever.
This is not Das Boat.
Yeah, it looks like a propane tank. It looks like Das Boot. It's not, this is not Das Boat. Yeah. It looks like a propane tank.
It looks like,
it looks like Das Boot.
It's like,
it's like they shove the,
it's like those things
you return at the gas station.
Yes.
Yeah.
It's sad.
It looks like something
you buy at Lowe's.
Those 80 fucking barbecues.
Yeah.
For these missions.
We have clients
that are Titanic enthusiasts,
which we refer to as Titaniacs.
We've had people
who have mortgaged their homes. I'm a refer to as Titaniacs. What?
I'm a bit of a Titaniac.
Jesus. And do the trip.
And we have people who don't think twice
about a trip of this cost.
We had one gentleman
who had won the lottery.
And this summer, Rush invited us.
Damn, that boat kicks ass. We departed from St. John's, Newfoundland, Canada, we had one gentleman who had won the lottery. And this summer, Rush invited us to come along.
We departed from St. John's, Newfoundland, Canada,
the easternmost tip of North America,
about 400 miles from the Titanic.
Oh, it's up there?
I didn't know that either.
I didn't know that.
I pictured it was by the Falklands.
Yeah, yeah.
Damn.
Aboard a chartered oil rig servicing ship that
ship's cool during our two-day journey into the North Atlantic we got to know our fellow adventurers
they're all facts from Indian industry mogul yeah they called me a wild monk the wild monk yeah
I look like a monk I'm very calm but uh I have these extreme... You're just an Indian guy in a North Face jacket.
You're not a fucking Buddhist.
Just like a white belly.
Oh, it's a monk.
Oh, is that a monk?
It's Aziz Ansari, you fucking asshole.
Oh, God.
I'm trying to fulfill a dream.
I've been wanting to go to Titanic and see it with my own eyes
since before they found it.
She's been saving up to see the Titanic for 30 years.
They're making them clean windows to pay for the journey.
Dreams don't have a price.
Some people want a Ferrari.
Some people buy a house.
Someone has to do the dishes on the submarine.
Yeah.
But the star of the show is the Titan,
Stockton Rush's custom-built submersible.
Five-inch thick carbon fiber capped on each end by a dome of... You think when they were
failing, the guy, the cocky
asshole that built this death trap,
you think he was like, hold on, let me just blow
on the cartridge!
Titanium. If all went
well, I myself would be spending
about 12 hours sealed inside
on a... Dude, it would have been way cooler if this CBS
guy died. That would have been big. Six months ago, that would have been way cooler if this CBS guy died.
That would have been big. Six months ago, that would have been big, big time.
That would have kicked ass.
Yeah, because CBS never would have shut up about it.
Yeah.
Yeah, dude.
This thing looked like shit.
People that fuck with the ocean, I really don't care what happens to them.
Yeah.
The ocean's absolutely terrifying and weird and creepy.
That's where the aliens are.
People are like, oh, you folks out there talk about UFOs.
Why don't you check under the ocean, bub?
Huh?
It is one of those jobs where it's like if you're climbing Mount Everest and you die,
it's a little bit like, all right, well, you kind of knew what you were doing.
It is the same thing in the submarines.
And also,
but even the other submarine guys are,
are like,
yeah,
we know that we could die.
Like,
yeah,
exactly.
Like we get,
that's why it's fun for us.
Yeah.
They're sickos.
Yeah.
It was like skydiving.
Exactly.
It's way more dangerous than skydiving.
Yeah.
It's yeah.
It must be.
It is.
How many submarine implosions have happened?
Like, fuck it. I bet, like, I don't know.
There haven't been that many, period, going deep into sea,
but I bet, like, the fatality rate's much, much higher.
Probably.
The insurance must be a nightmare.
It's insane.
Going into the ocean in a submarine.
It's like telling people, oh, I'm a magma diver.
I do cannonballs into volcanoes for a living.
It's weird.
When I die, I want people to feel sad for me.
This was such a prick.
No, it's true.
No, I'm not.
These people suck my ass.
I feel bad for the 19-year-old, and that's it.
Enough of you people with the,
oh, don't make jokes about this.
Fuck you.
No, they took a risk.
These hot shots.
These were like, dude, it's the perfect metaphor for the people that were on the Titanic.
Those rich cocksuckers.
Yeah, exactly.
They kept all the poor people.
Jack down there.
Yeah.
And Jack had to go fuck Kate Winslet in the big nice car.
He had to fuck his way up.
He had to fuck his way up to the top floor.
At a stowage.
And then you get what you fucking deserve.
It is the same.
The submarine
was like the Joker.
Probably pointed an imploding gun
at them and go, you get what you fucking deserve.
It imploded the whole fucking thing.
They were the same thing.
Only people that have that much money could go
look at the famous
tragedy. It's pride. It's
hubris. It's ambitious
engineers being like, oh, this thing is
like, it'll never break.
The exact same thing where they just pushed it a little
bit too far. It's Icarus.
Who's the guy who flew to the sun?
Flew too close to the sun. Yeah.
That's what it is. Sure. Titanic,
but then it's funny that now this
sub looking at Titanic did the exact same thing.
It's like if you went to
the ground zero and a
plane crashed directly into you.
It's like a bit on the nose.
Proved or certified by
any regulatory body
and could result in physical injury, disability,
emotional trauma, or death.
Where do I sign?
Or you go to
Pearl Harbor, take a visit,
and Japan bombs again that day.
You gotta put it on the thing.
Oh, my bad.
Wow.
Wow, it's so roomy.
It fucking sucks in here.
I would hate to die in this thing.
Okay, so here's the thing.
There's actually only one window,
so people pay $250,000 to sit in this death trap,
and then we're going to look at the Titanic on a little plaza, on a Vizio.
Guys, we got a Vizio in here.
That window is what killed him, by the way.
Oh, yeah?
Yeah, because to make a submarine with structural integrity,
you have to use one continuous material, according to James Cameron.
He used carbon fiber.
Well, he used carbon fiber, which is actually very strong. It's got, like, better tensile strength than steel. But no one's supposed to use one continuous material, according to James Cameron. He used carbon fiber. Well, he used carbon fiber, which is actually very strong.
It's got, like, better tensile strength than steel.
But no one's supposed to use that in submarines.
No, no.
Well, you just can't bolt carbon fiber to a titanium window.
It's too, like, brittle or some shit.
No, it's just each of them on their own is perfectly fine to make a submarine.
Yeah, he's probably using Flex Seal around the carbon fiber. Is that guy slaps on the in the commercial yeah yeah yeah but when you combine
the materials when the so the weakest point is the where they're bonded together yeah and so like the
vibrations of the pressure they like move differently at different um wavelengths so
so over like 40 trips or whatever like the carbon fiber just kept getting a little bit weaker,
a little bit weaker.
And then finally it was just fucking blew up and they imploded because of
that.
That's crazy.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I mean,
well,
that's what you get fucking taking a magic bullet down into the ocean.
We have a sham.
Wow.
And a magic bullet.
Hand me your 200 grand.
This guy, dude, I've met a lot of guys that look just like this.
The CEO?
They always wear some cocksucker Patagonia jacket
and these shitty fucking poo pants,
and they wear those slip-on boots,
and they suck my ass, and they have a huge ego,
and they get you killed in a trip to the Titanic.
Yeah, and y'all got to sit Chris Kropp.
They're always trying to get you to go to the Titanic.
The million of these guys.
These guys are everywhere.
We only have one button.
That's it.
It should be like an elevator.
Is that a ring alarm?
Let's look at this on the next screen.
The Titan is the only five-person sub in the world that can reach titanic depths, 2.4 miles below the sea.
It's also the only one with a toilet.
Sort of.
That's what they were fucking shitting in?
How many pieces of this sub seemed...
This is like a fucking portable Jankum lab.
Yeah.
We got these from Camper World.
We run the whole thing with this game controller.
Come on!
Damn, dude.
He goes, unfortunately, my son was up all night playing Grand Theft Auto on this thing.
Jerry Rignis.
I mean, you're putting construction pipes as ballasts.
I don't know if I'd use that description of it,
but there are certain things that you want to be buttoned down.
So the pressure vessel is not MacGyver.
He's like, yeah, the whole thing's made of asbestos.
So.
All because that's where we work with Boeing and NASA
and the University of Washington.
Everything else can fail.
Your thrusters can go, your lights can go,
you're still gonna be safe.
But when expedition manager kyle bingham
studied the forecast for our titanic dive he concluded that the waves would be too big to
launch the sub we're looking at six feet and then it bumps up a little bit our titanic adventure
would have to wait but stockton rush offered our cbs crew a consolation dive to the continental
shelf 80 miles away.
It's crazy to me that, okay, so I think they go down like three times and then they have to come back up.
And then the CBS guy finally gets to see the Titanic with them.
It's crazy that just for these like practice things, they were okay.
And then like the one time people actually pay and do, you know what I mean?
So this is the first time where everyone paid and like it was...
I don't know if it was the first time, but it's just crazy that during one of those times as
opposed to all the practice ones all the failed attempts you know like well it's because that the
it was losing integrity as the more it went down it kept getting weaker and weaker yeah it was just
it was a matter of time before this thing oh so they kept so they didn't reinforce it ever they
just kept yeah well yeah maybe but i don't know if they were doing the right job.
Well, they obviously weren't doing the right job.
Well, this cocky guy that made it is like,
this thing's a tank.
We don't need to do anything.
It's farm equipment.
Hey, guys, that's just some elbow grease.
That's all.
Put some elbow grease into it.
Apparently, there's a lot of sheer cliffs underwater to see,
shark breeding ground.
They say it's really cool.
The crew closes the hatch from the outside with 17 bolts.
There's no other way out.
Here's how the launch is supposed to go.
The sub is attached.
Held together by tacks.
The ocean gets them.
Clothes pins.
There were so many clothes pins in this submarine.
He's like, well, I don't want to refer to them as clothes pins.
That's going to make it sound bad.
That's what the layman calls them.
I call them tiny knives.
It's those things you close chip bags with.
A huge floating platform.
Motorboats drag it down the big orange ramp into the sea.
We're in the water, we're floating.
They are going to come and prepare the platform for the next phase, which is the sinking.
I hate when adult people have to sit like that.
The platform converges to around 30 feet, where the water is much calmer than on the surface.
You're in the water, people.
Divers detach the sub from the platform, and away you go, in theory.
Hold integrity.
Holding.
And what happens next?
God, nothing worse than old white guy jokes.
Old corny boomers.
A bunch of guys that go, kiss the cook.
Old guys rule.
Old guys at the barbecue, kiss the cook, why don't you?
You won't be disappointed, as we'll show you a little later on Sunday morning.
All right.
To be continued.
And then it's just a big explosion.
So they make it, I think, finally.
So we're scrubbing?
Yeah, I think that's the consistent stuff here.
Copy that.
I was crushed.
My diet is the most horrible.
Oh, hey.
Hey, hey, hey, ooh.
The guy's like, no, don't worry.
Listen, if anything happens and we have to go back to the surface,
we got a kiddie pool up there waiting to take us back to land.
No, no, no, Walmart had a sale.
We got an old tire.
No, you don't understand.
We have a couple of monster truck tires waiting for us.
Monster truck tires.
We pulled these bad boys off Gravedigger.
They're going to take us back to the continental shelf.
Oh, man.
Half the challenges.
All of them.
I have not been in one expedition where things have to be adjusted, adapted, changed, or canceled at the end of the day.
Then you haven't been on any expeditions.
This is what I imagine
every guy that wears ASICs does.
They just kill people on a submarine
that they didn't put enough work into.
This is what all Patagonia-wearing,
ASIC-wearing cocksuckers
that probably have a vacation home in Santa Fe.
This is what they're working on in their off time.
Or a big telescope.
They think that they can see stuff
on the moon that NASA
can't. There's always
some fucking asshole in some small town
that has all this money and
he thinks he's better than the big
shots in Washington.
And that's what
this guy is. I've seen this
a million times, bub.
My dad
used to have fake friends like this
that thought they were hot shit, and guess what
happened to them all? Died in submarines.
They all died in submarines.
Coming over to dinner parties
with their bullshit
charcuterie and shit
fucking putting brie
on crackers
talking
like thinking their shit
don't stink
smug cocksuckers
at the end of the day
at the end of the day
they're all gonna implode
in a fucking
shitty submarine
made out of
made out of fucking
parts from fries
like hey you win
you win this one bub
have fun in that submarine yeah fries. Like, hey, you win. You win this one, bub.
Have fun in that submarine.
Had to wait out two more days of rough seas.
Fortunately. Oh, great.
Oh, they're furries, too. That's great.
Hang on a minute. What?
Oh, dude. Wait, wait, wait.
Rewind it three seconds. They're furries?
Yeah, dude. They're all...
They're just wearing... No, they go into the wait, wait. Rewind it three seconds. They're furries? Yeah, dude. They're all fucked. Nah, dude.
They're just wearing goofballs.
No, they go into the submarine to be, this is their Comic-Con.
Yeah.
What are they doing?
This is what they do.
They dress up like Squirtle and they fuck each other in a tiny fucking, in a tiny little
bottle.
God.
They all got cock holes in their little bunny ass.
This was probably just like, like, they're just sadists.
This was their BDSM thing.
Like, he guy was like, he told his 19-year-old kid, he just like, like they're just sadists. This was their BDSM thing. Like he guy was like,
he told his 19 year old kid,
he's like,
you're coming with me.
We're all going to fucking come so hard than die.
It's like,
he can't get a boner unless he's deep underwater.
Yeah.
Meanwhile,
fucking Brian,
uh,
audio guy,
one,
eight,
two is fucking,
he's,
he's about to be a millionaire.
He's going to get to go to every blink.
What a two show he ever wanted. He's going to buy blink go to every Blink-182 show he ever wanted to.
He's going to buy Blink-182.
He should buy them.
And then he should develop a spaceship to go meet aliens with Tom DeLonge.
There we go.
And he should show Papa how it's really done.
That's a very good idea.
And then while he's up there, he goes, yeah, self-taught, no lessons.
Thank you very much, Pop.
Look at the smug cocksucker in the corner.
Can't even dress up with the rest of the crew.
He's just got to sit there acting like he's fielding calls, fielding offers.
He's like, I'm designing a terrible submarine.
He's like, skipping that check, skipping this check.
I'm not going to check that.
Oh, not buying that safety feature.
Oh, man.
A lot of security notifications popping up.
Well, exit that.
Exit that.
There's a lot to do in the North Atlantic.
I'm the king of the surface vessel.
Oh, fuck off.
Get killed.
I really wish that he was in the sub.
I know.
Look at the dolphins. They're like trying to tell them, like, you're retarded.
Stop.
Retarded.
Stop.
You shouldn't build a composite hole.
Atmospheric effects.
And that, my friends, is called a fog bow.
You can also hang out with scientists.
Researchers like deep sea biologist Steve Ross and ocean archaeologist Rob Mather joined every expedition.
In fact, the passengers are funding their science.
I guess it's just because of these fucking hot riffs.
Yeah.
These hot bits.
It's been boiling right now.
Woo!
Oh, yeah.
Fucking diesel in here.
Woo!
Ocean Gate.
What do you think Ocean Gate's stock is at the moment?
I don't know.
Probably.
Can I buy in? Do you think they'll make a comeback at the moment? I don't know. Probably. Can I buy in?
I suspect it's not a publicly traded company.
It's my first suspicion.
Oh, right.
Okay.
Yeah.
Damn.
I bet it's not worth much, though, right at this very moment.
If only they went public.
I'd love to get my hands on that baby.
How scientific is this expedition? I don't do show science.
So our job is to do real... implode science. We're more into the exploding science.
Exploding if you will. Nothing explosions are so drab. Ocean Gate technology we we
like to crush, not explode.
We're more into the crushing game.
You ever seen a can just get crushed by a boot?
By a boot.
You ever step on a can?
Oh, yeah, that's what we're more about.
That guy looks like a meth head.
All these guys have had, like, 13 divorces and shit.
They've devoted their life to orcas
and the fucking Titanic.
Fuck off.
Get a life.
You're devoting your whole life
to go looking at a tragedy,
fucking navel-gazing a tragedy.
We here have developed a technology
where we go to Dachau every week.
We charge people $250,000
to come to Auschwitz
and sit in the ovens. We actually, we figured out a way, We charge people $250,000 to come to Auschwitz.
And sit in the ovens.
We actually, we figured out a way.
We gave them special suits and we turned the gas on. Oh, yeah.
And we charge people thousands.
You're a sicko.
Yeah, I know.
You'll twist it in the air.
Will you look for this giant heart-shaped diamond on a chain?
Dude, can you stop?
I think that's not that.
On our sixth day at sea,
the weather cleared. The dive was a go. There we go, yeah.
Alright, hey guys, get into
WALL-E. You guys ready to go?
13,000, uh, what is it?
What is it called? What is it called in the ocean?
Leagues. Leagues under the sea.
13,000 leagues under the sea.
I'm hard to make.
Get in.
Get in my R2-D2 thing that I bought from a store.
We're going 13,000 leagues under the sea.
There we go, Teddy.
Get in my Stanley thermos.
We're going to see the Titanic.
742 meters, reports on bottom.
But that was the last of the good news.
You're damn right it was.
What, do they got a communist flag in there?
What is that, Cuba?
There's no GPS underwater.
So the surface ship is supposed to guide the sub to the shipwreck by
sending text messages.
What?
To boost mobile, the guy's chirping him.
The guy's like, yo, where you at?
They're like, don't worry,
we have experts up above
watching us. And some dude's like, yo, where you at?
We've attached a sidekick
phone to the ocean gate.
It's duct taped.
We're on instant messenger, don't worry.
We're powered by Blackberry.
Powered by AOL.
Oh, fuck.
The ship somehow broke down.
The sub never found the wreck.
We were lost.
We were lost for 12 hours.
Oh, look, it's the monk.
Rush says he'll offer those passengers a free do-over next year.
And that's just one cost of doing this business.
Are you making money on this operation?
Hand over foot.
I wouldn't quite say that.
Not yet.
People might say, hey, that's a lot of money.
Not yet.
$250,000.
But we went to over $1,000.
The coffin business is quite profitable.
It was our last day at sea.
There was one last chance to reach the Titanic.
And this time, good weather and good fortune were aligned.
Slow down, slow down. He's just in front of us.
Just we're in front of the anchor.
Oh my gosh. Here's the bad guys.
Oh great.
You guys see it?
Look at that though, how It just kind of emerges out.
That is it.
That is how the world is.
And there it was.
The famous bow.
The famous bow where Leonardo DiCaprio once was.
And memorial plaques from old expeditions.
This is crazy.
So they did do it.
Yeah.
With the CBS.
They did it. They did. Yeah, they did do it. Yeah. They did it.
They did it before they died.
I wonder how many times they did it.
There was one guy that did it like 37 times and then he died on this one.
Oh, word?
Just some working class guy.
You think he was like a sub crew guy?
He was a guy that worked for the Ocean Gate.
That sucks.
I think Titan did it 37 times.
I think the one that imploded
did. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
And he was on that, and then this one
was probably CEO.
No, maybe it was a
fake news Twitter.
Once again, let's run with it, folks, okay?
Run with that. Alright,
everything we say here on the Hatewatch Podcast
is true. We do the research.
Yeah, Titanic looks like shit.
Who cares?
It's all moldy.
Who would pay to go on that?
Who would pay to see this shit?
And that's where they started the central bank.
They always got to do this shit.
What's that famous fucking, what's that great submarine movie?
Das Boot?
No, I think it was with Harrison Ford.
They made another one, like a Russian one.
Oh, the one for October, yeah.
And where the beginning of it, the omen, where they like try and smash the champagne bottle
against the ship and it doesn't smash and they all kind of look at each other like,
oh boy.
Yeah.
And then they get on it.
All those Soviet sailors are going, oh boy. All the Soviets break, they break character each other like, oh boy. And then they get on it. All those Soviet sailors are going, oh boy.
The Soviets break
character and they go, oh boy.
You see what I'm seeing?
You see what I'm seeing, buddy?
They all lift their collars.
They go, yeesh.
And then they all die of radiation.
That's the one, right?
Yeah, it was kind of loosely based on a true story.
I'm pretty sure it was based on a true story.
I love Submarine Show.
Let's watch a submarine movie tonight.
I'm in.
I love Submarine Show.
I've never seen Hunt for a October.
The smell is in the air.
I love all rescues.
I love the kids in the cave.
Well, they don't get rescued in this one.
They all just die of radiation.
But the rescue attempt was fucking fireworks.
I love rescue attempts.
Yeah, yeah.
Even if they don't save you, they should get credit for the attempt.
They did everything they could.
They did everything they could.
They didn't get the kids out the cave?
No, they got those kids.
They didn't rescue the sub guy.
Oh, yeah.
Well, there's nothing to rescue.
They're jelly.
There is nothing to rescue.
They were turned into...
Those billionaires are jammed.
Turned into tiny fish.
Yeah.
They tried hard, though. Yeah, they got turned into... Those billionaires are jammed. Turned into tiny fish. Yeah. They tried hard, though.
Yeah, they all got turned into bait.
Chum.
Chum.
There's a real chum bucket that submarine.
Mm-hmm.
Well...
I already did this joke on Lemon Party.
Oh, God.
Why are they wearing those helmets?
Because...
Also, this comes out...
Because they're retarded.
This comes out before Lemon Party, by the way,
so I think you should hijack.
Should I hijack the bit that I already did on Lemon Party?
It was a Spongebob bit.
Save it for the quarter.
Yeah, I'll save it for the quarter.
Now, Titanic tourism has its detractors, but these expeditions don't disturb the wreck or retrieve artifacts.
And Stockton Rush says that they're valuable to history.
At some point, there will be no Titanic.
It will be eaten by the bacteria.
It'll be an artificial reef that doesn't look like the Titanic.
Renata Rojas would agree.
After 30 years of trying, she finally got to see the most famous shipwreck in the world.
Oh my gosh, yeah, I got the wreck.
And she came super hard.
Oh, fantastic.
I love you. Stockton Rush plans to return to the wreck. And she came super hard.
Oh, God, relax.
So six months later, he took a bunch of people and they all died.
Let's get to...
Let's see what old Cameron's got to say. I fucking love
James Cameron. He's so fucking cool. Where the fuck is Cameron?
Where the hell is Cameron?
Where's old Cammy boy? I'm pissed off
that the new Avatar
didn't break all the records.
I didn't see it. I didn't watch
either. I always root for
James Cameron. James Cameron
goes, well, looks like I am king of the world.
What is that?
What is he wearing?
He's got like a fucking...
He looks like he's in Running Man.
He's like a no-gi.
He looks like he's going to a jiu-jitsu tournament.
He looks like a X Games guy that has cancer.
Like they're bringing him in for the
Yeah, they go, come on!
They do Muhammad Ali for the Olympics.
Like Val Kilmer's Living Funeral in Top Gun.
Come on, put his BMX suit on
one last time. He did like the first
1080.
He did the first 1080
in 1972.
The Titanic is the
director James Cameron himself, along with his Oscar winning movie. Mr. Cameron, is the director, James Cameron himself,
along with his Oscar-winning movie.
Mr. Cameron, I understand.
I gotta say, all this has done is make me, like,
really want to re-watch Titanic.
Fucking good movie.
I had an urge to re-watch that shit.
Yeah.
Terminator 2 is, like, the number one movie on Netflix right now.
Oh, word?
Yeah.
Wow.
It always, like, it just comes back.
Anytime it's on anything, it just comes back.
It's such a timeless movie.
That movie is the Kobe and Shaq of movies.
It just dominates nonstop.
No matter what it's put on, everyone fucking loves T2.
It's just so good.
I watched Aliens recently.
That was Cameron, right?
Yeah, he did the sequel.
I think that was one of his first movies that made him big.
So, yeah, there's a famous pitch story.
I'm a Cameron head.
I'm a Cam head.
I'm not a big Cameron guy, but I respect what he does
in terms of blockbusters.
He just makes a fucking fun blockbuster.
He's like Michael Bay, who's like,
if he was smart.
Yeah, it is.
That's a great way to put it.
So he saw Alien 1
and he walked into this whatever boardroom.
Yeah, the pitch meeting.
The pitch meeting.
And he writes Alien on the whiteboard, and then he looks at them,
and then he writes an S, Aliens.
And then he turns the S into a dollar sign.
And that was his whole pitch.
I heard he massively disrespect Ridley Scott
the entire production of the movie.
Listen, he does whatever he wants. Exactly.
He was like giving him the middle finger and shit.
Really? Yeah. Ridley Scott's like,
hey, because Ridley Scott's
like, what I would do is I would make this movie a little more humorless.
And I'd take away the depth from the
characters. I don't really care about characters.
I love shots.
I'm more of a shot guy.
Love Ridley Scott, but every movie is like the most soulless movie ever made.
Except his historical films.
Historical films kick ass.
Gladiator's cool because the actors kick ass.
Master and commander.
The actors do the work for him in terms of making you care about them,
but he never seems to give a shit about the people.
American Gangster, it's like, come on.
American Gangster could have been our godfather,
like a new godfather, black godfather.
He just missed the mark.
And I still watch it all the time.
I think it's a good movie, but it's not great.
No, it's not great.
It could have been great.
I liked The Martian.
I didn't like The Martian.
Ridley Scott did The Martian?
Yeah.
Oh, The Martian was great, but he didn't write it.
I bet somebody else wrote it that has a sense of...
No, it was a book.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
He didn't write it.
No, if he wrote it, it would just be the most fucking devastating, non-fun piece of shit
ever.
He'd be like, and then he ate his own shit.
Wait, didn't he do Kingdom of Heaven?
Didn't he do Kingdom of Heaven?
I don't know.
Because I watched the director's cut of that, and that was fucking kick-ass. You loved that. Dude, I loved that goddamn movie. Kingdom of Heaven? I don't know Cause I watched the director's cut of that and that was fucking kick ass
You loved that
Dude I loved that goddamn movie
Kingdom of Heaven?
Yeah the director's cut's amazing
The director's cut's like four hours long
Yeah it's amazing
It's pretty sick
Alright
You've made a number of dives to the wreckage site too
Let's go Cameron what do you got buddy?
You gotta put it on
Oh my god thank you Joseph
Good god Devin
I'm gonna give you a co-producer credit.
And now
hearing that another tragedy
has been tied to the same area.
Well, I've been
down there many times. You know,
James Cameron is definitely, he's a human,
he's sad, but at the same time,
you know, he's like fucking really feeling himself.
Oh, he really wants. He's like, they're just,
you know, going down to the titanic's not for everybody
it's only for millionaire directors it's just really it's once again it's once one of those
things where it's like you just have to be king of the world it's secretly like the best day of
his life yeah he loves it i look so good right now he feels so good about this you know he does
you know he's eating it up. He's
walking around his mansion. He's doing the fucking
he's doing the Tom Cruise slide from Risky
Business in every room.
If you're like his wife or
one of his best friends right now, he's the most annoying
guy in the world. He probably just can't stop
being like you. So you know when I designed my sub
I thought about this.
You know there was a fucking miserable
dinner at Musso and Frank's a couple days ago.
Cameron took all of his friends and family.
He took all his friends and family
and he kept making toast.
He goes,
a toast!
He goes,
rest in peace to the Ocean Gate people.
And he says,
see here's the thing,
what I would do.
Now they're like,
so how's your daughter doing?
Is she still in soccer?
He goes,
well the thing about carbon fiber.
Oh, hell yeah.
And look at him.
He looks like he sells Monster Energy drinks
in that fucking jacket.
He's badass, dude.
He invented skateboarding in Venice.
He goes, well, when I was growing up with Stacy Peralta,
we would always talk about going to see the Titanic.
Back in the day.
And, of course, you know, as a submersible designer myself,
a designer.
Oh, yeah.
He's a submersible designer.
Well, he is.
He's been to the Titanic more than probably anybody.
He's an engineer.
He's like one of the top experts.
He visited the Titanic like a bunch of times, and then
he got the footage of it
for Titanic. He's one
of the top experts. He's probably a top
five guy. Fucking Titanic expert.
Goes to show with these scientists
now, Dr. Peter Hotez. Come on this show
and fucking debate me, huh?
Fuck you.
Fuck you, Hotez, you coward.
Huh? You're a fucking
coward, Hotez! Let's go to Hotez's
house after this. Huh? You're a
fucking coward! You think you're
no shit about the vaccine?
Come down here and talk to me.
Do we know his address? Let's go to his house
after. Uh, somebody has it online.
They already went to his place. We're coming
for you, Hotez! We're coming for you, Hotes! We're coming
for you! See you tonight, Hotes.
I made a joke, and
I'll repeat it. I want to talk to
Dr. Peter Hotep, okay?
Because I want to meet my father, Yakub.
And I want to... Right, folks?
Oh, come on! We're having fun here!
Yay!
Oh, yeah!
Hot pod! pod Hot hot pod
Nothing gets me going more than mass murder
To go to the deepest place in the ocean
Is it mass murder if five people died
No
I think that constitutes mass
It was mid
I think more than two
People up above
Yeah it was like a mid
Bro if you went into a McDonald's and shot five people, they would call them a mess.
Five is a mess.
There's people on land, they go, that shit was mid.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I am.
Dude, Red Bull makes me fucking weird.
Devin is so loopy.
Devin's a kooky kooky.
He's been loopy as hell the last couple of episodes.
The fucking, the phenyl kinetics in this shit.
Yeah.
That really get niacinamide and pyridoxin.
Holy shit, buddy.
Oh my God, it gets me going, folks.
It gets me going.
It gives you wings, which these people could have used.
Look at that hunk of shit.
It looks so bad.
It looks like a hunk of shit.
They couldn't have painted the front, so it looks like the rest of the boat.
They should have been killed by an orca.
And I think that what Bob said, because I was watching,
is absolutely critical for people to really get the take-home message.
I'd also like to plug my beef jerky company.
I'm James Cameron.
I also have a beef jerky company.
And also I'm sponsored by Liquid Death.
Jim's Beef Jerky.
King of the World Jerky coming out soon.
King of the World Jerky.
Check out my Patreon, Cameron's page.
It's a mature art.
From the early 60s where there were, you know, a few accidents,
nobody was killed in the deep
submergence until now, is more time than between Kitty Hawk and the flight of the first 747.
So if we haven't improved over that period of time, we have improved drastically over
that period of time.
And the certification protocols that all other deep submergence vehicles
except this one that carry passengers,
especially paying passengers, all over the world in tropical waters.
I would love if he kept weaving in Terminator anecdotes.
When Carbon Fiber, the whole, when I first conceived of Terminator 2, I pictured a carbon fiber exoskeleton on a machine.
Actually, the hand and the magma at the end of Terminator 2 was solid carbon fiber.
We actually built him out of products from Best Buy.
The wreck sites and so on.
The safety record is...
We actually were going to make T2...
We were going to design him
the same way as an Xbox One.
Absolutely.
Not only no fatalities,
but no major incidents
requiring all of these assets
to converge to the site.
Wait, so this one's the only submarine
that didn't have certifications.
Yes. And it was the one taking all the people to the scariest place it should have been called the
cocky faggot ss cocky faggots ss cocky faggots sorry once again 19 year old that's the only
person i care about on that thing rest in peace to him that poor 19 year old that had some weird
vague like indian father i mean, when you're rich
like that, no one has any...
You never understand the connection between
the kids and the parents. You're like, what?
Your name is Rory and your dad's
name is Rufat?
You're like, what?
It's just, it's a billionaire
family. Don't worry about it. They just
kind of adopt. My dad's the great grandson
of a sultan. Yeah, they just, you know,
inseminate random people across the globe
and then you get me.
You know, since...
You're not with that, John. You got a problem with that?
Inseminate random people.
That's what billionaires do.
I don't know, bring me some
bitch on the front of the National Geographic.
I want to fuck her.
I love her Bizquick pancake to fuck her. I love her
bizquick pancake mix titties. I love those giant
titties, those flapjack titties.
The field of deep exploration
is a big problem
because implosion,
as Bob described it,
such a violent event,
is first
and foremost in our minds.
Look at this guy.
Is what they call the hull of the cell.
Is that Bob Newhart?
Bye, buddy.
Hope you find your dad.
There's like four people who get that reference.
In our minds as engineers,
and we spend so much time and energy on that,
and we use all the computerized. in our minds as engineers. And we spend so much time and energy on that.
And we use all the computer.
He goes,
well,
buddy,
uh, had some problems in the elf shop.
Uh,
Oh yeah.
We're having fun here.
Yeah.
This is good.
What a fun time.
This is who knew death could bring people together.
Who's available today., finite element analysis.
We worked on our sphere for our Deep Deep vehicle that went to the Challenger Deep for over three years just in the computer before we even made the thing.
And then, of course, we pressure tested it over and over and over and so on.
So, you know, this is a mature art,
and many people in the community were very concerned about this sub.
And a number of, you know, of the top players
in the deep submergence engineering community.
The top players.
He goes, it was a player who had his ball down there, baby.
James Cameron.
He's a big Chappelle guy. he's in the chappelle show schedule to the company saying that what they were doing was too experimental to carry passengers and that
needed to be certified and yeah and so on so i'm i'm struck by now my, my submarine, the T-1000, it has every certification possible.
And my airplane, the T-2000.
...ahead of his ship, and yet he steamed at full speed into an ice field on a moonless night.
And many people died as a result.
And for a very similar tragedy where warnings went unheeded to take place at the same exact site with all the diving that's
going on all around the world it's kind of cool how much shit he's talking it's just astonishing
it's really quite yeah you know what i mean of course ph ph nargele uh the french legendary
submersible dive uh pilot a friend of mine you know it's a very small community i've known ph for
how about this for a rule of thumb any single thing you take to a dangerous place if you're
sitting indian style you're about to die buddy yeah okay crisscross applesauce if they don't
have seats or anything and you're sitting crisscross applesauce in that fucking thing like you're doing a book report in fucking kindergarten, you are donezo.
It's a red flag.
It's a red flag.
It's a big red flag.
One would think.
One would think.
Not these people.
Not these arrogant billionaires.
Yeah.
We'll sit however we want.
I'll say whatever I fucking want, okay?
I pay my fair share in taxes.
Fuck you.
You know you had all these deductions.
You probably wrote. They probably tried to write this off.
Oh, for sure.
They probably were like, well, the ocean gate, it was, I did it as a study for my business.
And so it was technically work.
And so under my S-corp.
You know what I mean?
Definitely.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Fuck you.
Well, he's getting paid.
Link 182 kicks ass.
All the small things that explode in the ocean.
Five years for him to have died tragically in this way is almost impossible.
Because a tragedy like this reminds me of the tragedy in Terminator 2.
In Skynet, when they basically eradicated human beings. When John Connor
called his parents and they were actually indeed
dead and weren't alive
it was the T-2000
pretending to be his parents. It was the
T-1000 and he was mimicking
their voice.
Imagine your foster parents
and their voices are being mimicked by
a machine. Imagine your foster dad trying to
reach for a carton of milk
and the T-1000 is in his living room
and he spears through the milk into his eyeball and kills him.
Through the milk and kills him.
Oh, God.
It is certainly haunting to consider that
compared to the Titanic
and what happened to the five people
on board this submersible vehicle. James, I want to ask you though. Haunting. Haunting.
James, were they trying to start a new centralized bank?
Listen, you're the Terminator.
You need clothes.
You go into a bar they knew that this was dangerous and that there weren't very many other vehicles that
could come get them out if something goes his name the guy's name was stockton stockton rush
are you fucking kidding me why does he have the coolest picture he looks like fucking
oh yeah he looks awesome he looks like he's in rush like paul newman they really fucked the wood
dude his name was stockton rush that's all i would need to know i'd looks like he's in Rush. Like Paul Newman. They really fucked the wood. Dude, his name was Stockton Rush.
That's all I would need to know.
I'd be like, who's the captain?
What's his name?
I think I'll sit this one out.
Yeah, his name's Triple X.
Triple X badass.
What's his name?
Stockton Rush.
Stockton Rush.
Jesus, I feel bad for Sulman Dawood.
Dude, you're like a billionaire's son.
You can't have a better photo?
Well, because Shazada Dawood fucked some white lady,
and then they made Sulman Dawood.
I looked him up, too.
He's like the vice chairman of the largest chemical conglomerate in Pakistan.
It's pretty crazy.
Really?
Yeah.
There's a lot of suspicious shit. Very sketchy. I mean like when you get to that when you mean sketchy do you think that
they like because there's conspiracies already bub well like there's conspiracies that they that
they're alive and they they fake this they're faking their own my conspiracy would be that
so one of the billionaires is online advertising, I'm going on this submarine, we're going to see the Titanic.
Multiple billionaires on the submarine.
How many people have what to gain if these billionaires die?
So many people, their family, business partners, people could get very rich.
A billionaire dies, other people get very, very rich.
So it wouldn't be that difficult, a submarine that doesn't have to pass any safety regulations.
It's a non-sanctioned submarine.
They don't have an FAA like airplanes.
So how hard would it be to send a Jason Bourne kind of guy, get a scuba mask on him yeah send him down to the sub the night before and just
fucking you just like drill a hole a fucking exactly you could do the smallest thing yeah
and sabotage a submarine yeah yeah wrong um how aware were you of those concerns and those risks
before you went down and is is there anything that should be done um when it comes look at
cameron roll his eyes right there you gotta put it on Jesus H Devin sorry guys
I'm trying to fucking do a lot of things there you're not you're not doing
anything there anything that should be uh excuse me
it doesn't melt down when it comes to safety in the future. Look at this eye roll.
No, you missed the eye roll.
It's comparing apples and oranges here.
I went with a very proven system.
I think he's looking up at something.
He's rolling his eyes because he thinks he's king of the world.
He goes, the thing about this, see, when Miles Dyson was developing Skynet,
he had no clue that it would eventually become sentient.
Do you understand? And so in a very similar way, when they were developing the submarine, they didn't know the consequences of their tech.
So Miles Dyson, and when Sarah Connor went to Miles' house with the machine gun.
You remember that guy?
And aliens, when they cordoned themselves off in that office space,
they had to make sure that office space was airtight
or else the aliens would get in there.
And he was like, well, they had the sentry guns outside.
We're watching those bullets slowly go down.
All comes down to pressure.
Okay.
When the xenomorphs are at the door.
When the xenomorphs are at the door.
They used very, very well understood design methodologies.
And they had an excellent operating record when I dove with them.
And they continued to have an excellent operating record,
flawless operating record throughout their entire career. I think they're now retired.
But I always had great confidence.
Now, having said that, I always had confidence in the sub. The Titanic wreck site
is a very hostile place. It's a dangerous site to dive. If you think of a typical research dive,
you go down and you're really just operating over a bottom. You may be looking for organisms. You
may be looking at geology. Hydro thermal vent sites can be a bit dangerous as well.
And see, right now, Tony Hawk thinks he's hot shit.
And here's the thing.
I am the greatest skateboarder of all time.
You've got, you know, this eight-story, ten-story high structure with overhanging.
Man, all this is doing is making me like, really, I really want to fucking, I want to get like hammered tonight.
Watch the Titanic.
That's a very good idea.
Dude, the Titanic kicks ass.
It's very good.
Once you skip through all the gay bullshit and get to the deaths.
Get to the sinking.
The sinking kicks so much ass.
It's such a great set too, because James Cameron like builds a giant set and then like pumps
water in.
Those were the days when they did shit.
There's not a single movie
not a single fucking movie
has come out in the last
20 fucking years
that comes close to the
effects of Jurassic Park, the first
one, and Titanic.
The practical effects are gone.
Honestly, you can watch
Speed and you're like, these explosions are way better
than modern bullshit explosions.
We've cut corners the longer we've gone on.
You watch the new Jurassic Park,
you watch all these movies.
I was watching Planet of the Apes.
It's good, but it's fucking CGI.
It looks like shit.
It ages terribly.
Get a goddamn ape.
People were forced to get really creative
with practical effects.
And it made it better.
It made it better because they had to.
They had to try.
And now we have all this help.
We just send it to Japan
and a bunch of guys named Fukushima Nagasaki
fucking work on it.
And then they send it back to America.
Fucking Hiroshima Mitsubishi.
And they go, yeah, yeah, here's your movie.
Special thanks to Fukushima Nagasaki. And then they go, yeah, yeah, here's your episode. Here's your movie.
Special thanks to Fukushima Nagasaki. And then we watch it at the AMC and we go,
ah, another one, another one.
They should have fucking oxygen tanks installed into the seats at the AMC.
For these fucking movies.
You're retards.
You're ruining cinema.
Fuck you.
Metal structures.
Try to think a little more Jameson. I'm really had it today.
You're nuts.
Fucking Ocean Gate bullshit.
These assholes.
Fucking ruin.
They've done nothing
but ruin the idea of going to
see the Titanic. And who says I don't want to go do
that someday? We make about four grand
here a month on Patreon
and I send you guys some money. That means I'm making like $34,000 And who says I don't want to go do that someday? We make about four grand here a month on Patreon,
and I send you guys some money.
That means I'm making like $34,000 a month, bub.
You don't think I have the money? I could save that up in about seven years,
and I could go see the Titanic,
and they ruined it for everybody, you fucking assholes.
They have to be on a payment plan.
Well, now we look like idiots if we want to go to the Titanic.
Yeah, exactly.
We look like assholes.
We're like, oh, really?
Because people died doing it. I wonder if you could pay for a trip to the Titanic. Yeah, exactly. We look like assholes. Really? Because people die doing it.
I wonder if you could pay for a trip to the Titanic on like
what is that thing?
On layaway. What is that thing you do?
You could do it for like Chipotle bowls.
Klarna. Can you pay
for a Titanic visit on Klarna where like every month
you send them
like 700 bucks with interest?
I suspect no.
No? You don't think that?
I want to go with old Jimmy Cam. I love like 700 bucks with interest? I suspect no. No, you don't think that? It's on Tardy.
I want to go with old Jimmy Cam.
I love James Cameron.
I would definitely go with him. Dude, his sub would kick ass.
He's so cool,
he shouldn't be called James Cameron.
He should be called Jimmy Cam.
I bet he's like,
hey, you can call me Jimmy.
If you're friends with him,
he's like sucking off and shit.
I'd love to suck off James Cameron.
What the hell?
Oh my god, imagine that.
I want him to shoot his iceberg down my neck.
What? Oh yeah.
I love old Jimmy Cam.
Jesus.
You're a kook.
You're crazy.
It's so hot. I'm so hot
right now. You're delicious. You had a Red Bull, and you're going cuckoo.
You give him one Red Bull, and he wants a Cuckoo.
Devin only eats all day.
He's like kale.
Oh, yeah.
I had my keto burger today.
He had a keto burger, and he has a Red Bull and then Jameson, and it's like a lethal combination.
And he's all cum-thirsty.
Yeah, he's cum-thirsty.
Yeah, but he wants James Cameron to shoot an iceberg.
Oh, yeah, Jimmy Cam.
What if James Cameron's submarine just looked like a Terminator skull?
Oh, yeah, I want to.
And the viewport was the eye.
He comes liquid metal.
Yeah, he goes down there, and the mouth opens up,
and then it's like everybody's inside.
I want to sub Jimmy Cam's Titanic
wow
oh yeah
oh yeah
you don't think I want to
fuck the king of the world
you guys are
fucking homophobes
fucking assholes
I love James Cameron more than anybody
this is great I want to fuck James Cameron and you guys are homophobes fucking assholes? No, I... This is why I do this. I love James Cameron more than anybody. This is just... This is crazy. I wanna fuck
James Cameron and you guys are homophobes.
I love... Fucking assholes.
I... I... What's your guys' problem?
You guys are pricks. Fucking...
Fucking... Close-minded assholes.
I support you. I'm just... No, I...
I haven't heard you say anything like that. Oh!
Anything to make you happy. Jimmy Cameron!
You gonna ride him, dude? Oh, I'd
love to ride him.
Yeah, that's why. Oh, Jimmy Cameron! You gonna ride him, dude? Oh, I'd love to ride him.
Yeah, that's why.
I do this so I can get away with all the fag jokes.
There we go.
That's right.
That's right.
But I am gay.
He's gay for James Gale.
I'm gay as hell.
And I'm not gonna take it anymore.
Try to cancel.
I am gay as hell.
I'm not gonna take it anymore.
That's the end of network. Heroes, I'm sucking cock and I'm not going to take it anymore. That's the end of network.
Heroes, I'm sucking cock, and I'm not going to tag it anymore.
What an episode you people are getting.
I am nuts today.
I got it.
You managed the problem.
We always felt that we were in pretty safe ground.
Why don't you just shove your dick in my mouth?
The guy interviewing him?
Hold on, Mr. Cameron. Why don't you just shove your cock
in my mouth? Mr. Cameron, what do we cut
to the chase here? You know, get down to brass
tacks. Why don't you just shove your fucking
cock in my mouth?
I thought you never asked.
Thank you, Mr. Cameron, for your time.
Let's stop ignoring the elephant in the room for a minute.
We all want to suck your cock.
It's crazy.
Somebody has to say it.
Somebody has to say it.
It's weird at this point if we don't say it out loud.
We all want to suck you.
I have to push back on you real quick, Mr. Cameron.
I want to suck you off.
Cameron, I want you to come on me.
I think it was a fundamentally flawed design principle.
Not unlike the human mission of Pandora.
It was a fundamentally flawed mission to obtain the unobtainable.
This was many years ago, even when I was designing my sub.
He has a sub. There was another sub.
Yeah, he has a million subs.
Sort of in competition with us to get to the Challenger Deep that was operated by...
Who's this fucking...
Bob Newhart.
He looks like he's on red alert.
Like one of those guys at the Generals is talking.
He pops up with a caption where it's like, hey, your submarine's at risk.
It's Bob Newhart.
That's who it is, okay? Bob Newhart. That's who it is.
Bob Newhart looks like an underwater fish.
One of those little lights in front of him.
Is he dead?
That's Bob Newhart.
Oh, did he die?
Bob Newhart died.
Okay.
Rest in peace.
But that's this.
He was a good guy.
He got a Mark Twain prize.
It's that guy.
I love Bob Newhart.
There you go.
I love Bob Newhart.
Welsh for Richard Branson
Oh we got Richard in here
I told those guys
Richard Branson
In that sub or in a sub like it
The DNA
Of the Ocean Gate sub
Was in that sub
At the time
Two hemispherical end caps
Just fucking James Cameron. He looks
insane.
Look at him.
I love these guys. His jacket is so
horrible. It's so crazy. You just direct
all these dope movies and you're just like, I'm
the best. I can do anything.
He thinks he's God. James Cameron literally
went up at the Academy Awards when he won for the Titanic
and goes, I'm king of the world.
And everyone was like, oh, you loser. I fucking dropped the lady off who lived next door to him in malibu one time
his house looked insane dude you can't first well all those guys were every once you get a rich
person where they're like yeah that's blah blah blah's house and it's like i can't see the house
it looks like iron man's house you can't see the house there's just too much property right but he
had literally the gate was open she's like i've never seen his gate open and the gate was open. She's like, I've never seen this gate open. And the gate was open.
He must have had like guests coming in.
But it was literally just a row.
It was like a long road that curved.
And it was a row of like these beautifully like immaculate California oak trees.
Just going way up.
And I was like, Jesus, dude.
Yeah, it's like his own Neverland Ranch.
Yeah.
Oh, I don't want to.
That's weird.
Cameron's paradise.
You're making him sound like a pedophile.
No, I'm just saying it was a huge place with a giant driveway.
Oh, sure, sure.
Big compound.
Sure, sure.
But yeah, I'm sure he's fucking kids.
No, don't say that.
Every single person that's great in Hollywood fucking is, Joe.
Everyone except for James Cameron.
He's an explorer.
He's an explorer.
You don't think eventually the final descent is into a trial?
Yes.
James Cameron. Like eventually the final descent is into a child?
It's the last frontier.
It's the last frontier.
Mr. Cameron, what's your... You've conquered everything.
What else is next?
What's your last frontier?
Is a child's ass?
What else is left, folks?
That's what we ask you on the Hate Watch Pod.
I never believed in that because the way it fails is it delaminates because it's
sick work you have to have a whole pressure home as much in the way that
liquid metal fails is when you get extremely hot for example destroy liquid
metal because you have a hydrogen dioxide a tanker full of it, and it explodes.
Do you know what happens when you shoot a grenade launcher at a police helicopter?
He goes, now, when John Connor told the T-100 that he can't kill,
it actually severely affected his strategy.
He now had to shoot to wound.
He was maiming. He was maiming people instead of killing them.
And, you know, it was that poor gate guard had his kneecaps blown off.
And to your point, a warning only goes so far. Did he do Terminator 3? That poor gate guard had his kneecaps blown off. And they were coming up trying to manage an emergency.
And to your point, a warning only goes so far.
Did he do Terminator 3?
No.
With Nick Stahl?
No.
No?
Damn.
Enough of this.
I was like, I really want to make a joke. He's like, when he's walking with the coffin on one shoulder and the minigun on the other.
We got a corner today?
We do.
I did a submarine.
Oh, a submarine corner?
Oh, God.
Well, time's flying, man.
I thought we'd had more sub time. Where? We got to. Well, well, I, time's flying, man. I thought we'd had more,
more sub time.
Where we got it.
Well,
this is more,
more sub time.
We're an hour and eight minutes in,
buddy.
I would love to go for another fucking two hours.
I know we could do this forever.
I can fucking,
I think I got a song.
I'm going to do,
I'm going to try.
You got it.
You yellow submarine shit.
All right.
I love watching the process. Yeah. The process is beautiful. You got it. Yellow Submarine shit. All right. Fa la la la la.
I love watching the process.
Yeah, the process is beautiful.
All right, here we go.
In the bathroom stall where John was born
lived a man who sucked him off.
And he told us of his problems with John's shit-stained ass.
So he tried
to get rid of the smell
by taking him
out to sea.
And they were gay
beneath the waves
in a fart-filled submarine.
Da-da-da-da-da-da in a fart-filled submarine. Da, da, da, da, da, da.
We're all dead in a brown submarine.
A brown submarine.
A brown submarine.
The fat, gay, retarded guy
kept shitting himself.
He kept shitting himself.
So we had to implode.
It's right, it was suicide. we had to implode It's right, it was suicide We had to implode
You think we died on accident
No, we killed ourselves
The fat gay retarded guy
Kept shitting himself
He kept shitting himself
And he also kept eating all the food we had.
It was all the food we had.
And he ate all of it.
Don't let me forget about the time he tried to rape us.
He tried to rape us many times.
He thought there was no police.
He was very excited about the fact that we were away from land.
He used this
as his opportunity
to penetrate
our butt cheeks.
Yes!
We're all dead in a
brown submarine. Yeah!
Brown submarine. Yeah!
A brown submarine.
We're all dead in a brown submarine. A brown submarine, yeah, a brown submarine. We're all dead in a brown submarine.
A brown submarine, a brown submarine.
In the time when John was born, he knew he was a fat rapist.
And from that day on, he made a vow to go on the ocean gate and rape everybody before they imploded.
Oh, yeah.
We're all dead in a brown submarine.
A brown submarine.
A brown submarine.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Hey, watch podcast John's Submarine Corner, buddy.
We got it
Did I come back?
Did I come back?
New favorite song
From last week?
It was very good
That was my favorite one
Wonderful
Fuck yeah
I don't think we've ever done a Beatles classic
Yes
That's the first Beatles classic
I kicked ass
Okay welcome to the submarine corner
Oh my work here is done
Oh such a relief
Well done Devin
Last week's song wasn't good
But he came back Actually last week's song wasn't good.
But he came back.
Actually, last week's song was really good.
I listened to it in the car.
If I wasn't having to look at you two fucking dissent-spreading assholes with your faces.
You're on your phone all the time.
John always looks away.
I'm on the phone because I'm on Twitter.
You don't need to look at the questions over and over again.
How many times are you going to look at the questions?
I'm revealing the questions.
Devin, it's really gay to look into man's eyes
while he's singing to you.
No, it's not, John.
It's called, we're doing a show here, fucko.
Devin already gives me gay eyes constantly.
Like the fact that he wants me to look into his eyes
while he's singing a song about me.
Devin is really gay.
We're doing a show here.
Yeah, well, listen, bud.
The show is a mixture, amalgamation of life and art.
You don't understand performance.
You don't understand how to give the people what they want. If you understood performance, you would understand how't understand performance. You don't understand how to give the people
what they want. If you understood performance, you would understand
how gay you are. You don't understand how to help me.
You help me help you, bitch.
I saw a lot of...
You know what? Your Venmo this month
is going to be a little lower.
You're going to dock him.
Docking points. Joey's getting your share.
How about that, Joey? Congratulations.
I mean, I... So I agree with John, though.
It's very funny.
Sorry, guys.
I saw some comments that were saying, hey, you're bullying Devin.
You're not supporting him.
The song was good.
And guys, you're hurting him.
It was a good song.
I'm saying that because he has a lot of very good songs.
You haven't listened.
That was honestly the best song I've done off the top.
Yes, it was.
No, that was your worst song.
You haven't listened to it.
You didn't re-listen to it.
I'll go back.
I did.
I think I did.
No, you didn't.
No, you didn't.
I went on for like two minutes.
Me and Joey listened to it on the way over here.
We listened on the way over here.
You guys did.
You guys fucked each other in the ass the whole way over here.
Fucking assholes.
Fuck you both.
I hate you.
Anyways, this one was okay.
Tonight.
Sipping liquor in the corner.
Sad.
He threw his glass away.
You could do that off the top of your head.
How dare you both.
Joey's a songbird.
How dare you.
Joey, you go.
Let's pull up a song.
Let's see what you do off the top of your head.
He does it.
Honestly, it's something Joey does in a quiet seclusion.
I could probably kill a song.
Let's do it.
What do you want to sing?
Right now, off the top of your head,
related to John being fat and gay.
You do it all off the top of your head.
I'm gay.
I'm fat.
I've done it for fucking months now.
I can't even believe this has become a thing.
I stress about it all day.
Well, you're lovely off the top, though.
I will.
Well, yeah, John,
and it would be great if I had some support
from the retard that I do the show with.
Well, we all laugh at you.
I just don't want to stare
into your eyes too often
because you have gay eyes.
I want to say that
it's not easy
what you're doing.
It is not easy.
Coming up with a song
every week.
Every Friday
I'm fucking terrified.
Oh, really?
How's this going to go?
You get scared?
No, I'm kidding.
No, because I'm a pro retard
but like...
Why are you saying
flip-flopping over here?
It'd be nice
if my friends could like understand
the concept of performance while we're doing
a show here no I think I think you're not
getting that if we're
fake about our reaction
it kind of loses
what song do you want to sing
you're not gonna do it
I think it's hard to do a song I'm not a musical guy
me neither
I'm saying it's hard and that's why you're not perfect by the way you know it'd be a funny episode i realized that i used to make okay when
i was like 18 19 i didn't know what i wanted to i was like i was like yeah everyone's like tells me
i'm funny i know all i do is care about comedy comedy is the only thing i've ever cared about
i'm supposed to be something in comedy i'm a comedian sure i gotta do something as a comedian. Sure. I got to do something as a comedian. So I was like, I started making like parody rap songs for a second.
I thought maybe I was like a parody rap guy.
Sure.
And I just don't have any musical talent like that, you know?
Have you heard this?
So I have.
I was watching these videos recently.
Actually, I went to the bottom of Devin's YouTube and just started re-watching.
Oh, they're on YouTube.
One about school.
But that's not a parody rap song.
That was like actually like my thoughts on school.
Is that still publicly available?
That's terrifying to think about.
I think so, yeah.
It's a very embarrassing song.
The part where you're loading a gun.
The writing's actually pretty good in it, though.
I remember being proud of that when I was 18.
But I started making parody rap songs.
They're somewhere on a hard drive somewhere,
and maybe there could be an episode one day
where we hate-watch them.
That'd be cool.
Because they're pretty embarrassing.
It'd be like an ONA style,
like,
you know,
hate watch Devin's first bullshit songs.
I used to make like rap songs.
Yeah.
Like a pair,
like parody shit.
And they weren't good.
I couldn't be on beat.
I didn't know how to be on beat,
but anyway,
you're sensitive about music.
I'm really,
cause I love music.
I think,
I think if you can do music properly,
you're like a wizard to me. Like, no, I have, I have no, I have no, because I love music. I think if you can do music properly, you're like a wizard to me.
No.
I have no, I respect musicians almost more than,
I can't, they make magic.
It's amazing.
And that's why I love a lot of the songs that you do,
and I appreciate them more than anybody.
Yeah, until you don't.
Well, you have a bad one.
That wasn't a bad one.
You're fucking gaslighting me. The people like you. You're fucking with me. Anyways, let you don't. Well, you have a bad one. That wasn't a bad one. You're fucking gaslighting me.
The people light it.
You're fucking with me.
Anyways, let's get to John's submarine.
Okay, welcome to the submarine corner.
So I made a post on Instagram,
Joey R. LaFleur, if you want to submit your submarine corners
or any kind of corner, add me on there.
And I just said, hey, we're experts on submarines.
No funny business.
Ask us submarine questions.
And so I haven't read
these. I just copy them and I paste them.
And we're about to
John's submarine
corner. First question.
Ahoy!
Captain Cumsucker John.
Ahoy.
I hope my message in a bottle reaches you.
I come to ask if you
were in that hot, cramped, smelly sub ring with the other four sexy, bodacious stud muffins of men,
how long would it take till you suggest a suck-and-fuck party?
Do you think an Eiffel Tower slash DP situation is possible in the sub from Bong Van Dam?
Well, I would have taken that jug they shit in, right, and turned it into like a cum taney.
You would have been doing jankum.
It would have been, well, I'd take the jankum jug
and then make our own cum in it, and it'd become
like a, it'd be like a cum jug.
And then we'd, that would just kind of be some
Very good. I hope the next question isn't
about gay John. No.
I hope so, too.
Here it is, though. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
If John was on the Titan in his final moments, does he, A, suck off the other four members?
Jesus fucking Christ, you guys.
B, open the door, killing everyone inside, but gets penetrated by a whale.
C, gets sucked off by himself and the remaining four fellas from Destin.
Well, I think when the sub's imploding, it would put you in perfect sucking yourself off position.
Oh, because it's smashing your head toward your cock?
Yeah, it smashes you.
I picture the last thing to enter all those guys' brains were their cocks.
So within milliseconds, you're using the implosion to suck yourself off.
Yeah, there's like a funk.
It goes right in.
Sucking himself off.
Yeah.
Next question.
What would John do if he was in the subway knowing he was going to die?
I think John would 100% let everybody destroy his asshole and make him a compig.
Doug.
Who said that?
Doug.
Oh, Doug.
Good on you.
Thanks, Doug.
You're crazy. Good job, Doug. I mean, that's just not even a question. Oh, Doug. Good on you. Thanks, Doug. You're crazy.
Good job, Doug.
I mean, that's just not even a question.
Chill, Doug.
Oh, no.
He's saying, what would you do if you knew you were going to die in this cell?
It's so quick, dude.
I mean, if I was down there.
No, no.
He's saying so you know.
Like, you hear the cracking.
I hear the pings are coming off.
There's water coming in.
Yeah.
I don't know, man.
It'd be kind of funny to put Lemon Party up on that screen.
Oh, that is good.
That's good.
Of course, the original Lemon Party.
The original Lemon Party.
The men sucking each other off.
The men sucking each other off, yeah.
That would be good.
Not the new rebranded Lemon Party.
By the way, the thing I'm most proud of on Devin is co-opting Lemon Party.
I'm going to say this.
I'll say this.
I am the reason we called it Lemon Party
because of you and me.
Yeah.
And it's my favorite image
and I'm very happy.
It just felt right.
A new generation of people.
Lemon Party was dead
and you guys brought it from the grave.
It was dead.
We revived it.
It was really because Joey and I
were doing this fucking thing
for months on end.
We were sucking each other off in hotels.
We were just drunk assholes sucking each other off with old men.
No, but seriously, we were trying to come up with all these names.
Podcast names are so gay.
We had all these names, but they sounded like two on the nose.
I was just like, why don't we just fucking make a lemon party
so anybody that ever says they hate it sounds like a retard.
Or you hate lemon party.
You're a retard. You're talking about a show
named after a website with three gay men
sucking each other off in the 60s.
I like how he knows the number.
In the 60s.
They're old men.
They were in their 60s.
No, they were in their 80s.
No way they were in their 80s.
I thought you meant the 1960s.
Anyways, we can solve this later.
Next question.
No matter how far we advance as a species, it seems we still cannot tame the sea.
No.
Something which supposedly covers 71% of our planet.
How would you guys go about traversing the seas, or do you believe we should not even attempt?
or do you believe we should not even attempt?
If John had to descend to the depths,
he would probably climax so many times while his body imploded because of all the pressure
building up inside of his plump, ripe asshole from Isaiah.
He's got a flat ass, dude.
I have the flattest fucking ass on planet Earth.
So Isaiah doesn't know your ass as well as he should.
I'll answer that real quick.
I don't think we should go down to the sea.
I don't think we should do anything in it unless we find oil,
and then we should just fucking rape it.
There's tons of oil in the sea, dude.
Well, then we should rape it.
Oil rigs.
We should rape the sea to death.
Well, yeah, sure, but that's the only reason we should use it.
Yeah.
We set up our rigs, and that's it.
But these people that go do it to go investigate shit like this
or fucking animals, leave them alone dude these orcas have you guys
seen these fucking the spur these orcas that are like coordinating attacks on yachts yeah they kick
ass i know they're like geniuses dude whales we have no comprehension of how smart sea life is
like they communicate in like sounds they all join up they'll team up with other
sea life to fuck with people like it's their it's a it's their own society and the fact we put them
in like sea world yeah they're so smart how come they're in sea world yeah blackfish and the cove
and shit it's like leave them the fuck alone. Kill fish. Fish are retards.
I don't care about any fish.
But when you level up,
when it comes to the
mammals,
the first team,
all NBA
of the sea life,
leave them the fuck alone, dude.
So my answer on this,
I disagree with Devin, actually.
I think that I'm pro-exploration
and I think it's the same argument
people make about space exploration where it's like think it's the same argument people make about
space exploration, where it's like,
what's the fucking point of this?
And the answer
is probably,
if I'm being honest,
we're advancing technology
a little bit, but I think
more importantly, the reason I like it is
because it's just fun.
It's fun. It's super sick.
I was going to say, have you ever been on a Sea-Doo?
It's like the greatest thing ever.
Well, yeah, that's fine.
That's not what I'm saying.
I'm saying, like, the people that go into it and they get pictures of the...
Scuba divers.
Yeah, like, fuck off.
Go away.
Those guys with the big helmets.
Yeah, Sea-Doos are fun.
Stay on top of the ocean.
But if you get killed by a shark or an orca flips you.
Oh, man.
Do you guys see the fucking Egypt shark?
Yeah, dude.
My sister sent it to me.
She was like, this made me cry.
I watched it like 10 times in a row.
I hated that.
Yeah, it was bad.
I walked in on Devin beating off, dude.
It was so crazy.
I watched it a bunch of times in a row.
It was bad, but I'm like, I don't go into the ocean, so I kind of feel like...
Okay, next question.
All right.
If anyone hasn't asked this already, how long would John last in a sub before he starts sucking and fucking?
Oh, that was seven seconds.
Didn't somebody already ask?
Yeah, somebody already asked.
Alternatively, how long does he have last before he kills everyone to conserve oxygen? There was a great document,
there was a great book called Seven Seconds or Less
about the Phoenix Suns in the
early 2000s. They started
the whole trend of the NBA shooting
threes very quickly, and John
would be a member of that book,
but in the gay way. Seven Seconds or Less.
He'd suck everybody off in Seven Seconds or Less.
Seven Seconds, is that true? Probably, yeah.
So, Seven Seconds? John, yeah. So seven seconds.
John would be under the
Mike D'Antoni handbook of gay sex.
Next question.
If you could put five people into an Ocean Gate Titan,
who would they be and why?
From Justin. Wow, okay.
Five people in the Ocean Gate Titan.
And it's imploding?
What was the question? If you could put five people into the Ocean Gate Titan And it's imploding What was the question If you could put five people into the Ocean Gate Titan
Who would they be and why
And it explodes
Who would you do
Who would you take
Janet Reno
Why you hate Janet Reno
We know why come on dude
Wake up dog And fucking Dude who else is annoying dude Why do you hate Janorino? We know why. Come on, dude. Come on, bro. Waco, dog.
And fucking...
Dude, who else is annoying, dude?
I really don't have that many enemies.
People I don't like, but it's like hack shit, like Jeff Bezos.
You know what I mean?
I just don't give a fuck.
What did Janorino do so wrong with Waco?
She was the fucking lady who...
What was she?
The Secretary of Defense or some shit?
She also snitched on a little suckfest in the White House. Oh oh she was the snitch suck fest she was against she was really she was like
one of the big whistleblowers on clint yeah i just i just remember her at the trial um i probably put
like janet reno and then uh fucking uh yeah there's nobody who's like not like everybody else
would put in that i'd probably put in there like Yeah, like Mark Zuckerberg and shit. Zuck, Janet Reno.
Elon Musk?
I think he's going to blow himself up
somehow, so I'd probably just let that ride.
I think he's going to blow up.
He's not a part of any of the things
that they do, though. Elon
likes himself too much. Elon's crazy.
He doesn't seem to really put himself out there
in terms of what they do. I would like to add
Mark Wahlberg to this.
No!
No, not kill him.
So he can save the crew.
Oh, he'll save them.
Right, because he famously said that he would have
stopped 9-11.
Actually, it would be sick if you
just put a bunch of badasses in there and saw how
they get out of it. Schwarzenegger.
You get Mark Wahlberg, you get Schwarzenegger,
you get Captain Phillips.
No, who's the captain
who landed the plane
in the Hudson?
Sully.
Sully.
You get Sully in there.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Sully would be sick
at that time.
Dude, imagine if Sully...
It's like Die Hard.
He's always in a new
terrorist situation.
It's like John McClane.
Sully's like,
he's landing a boat.
He's fucking doing all this shit.
He's sick.
Love Hockey Next Question.
Hey, Joey.
My question goes as follows.
Devin, you're the captain of the sub,
and the Logitech gaming control runs out of the batteries.
The only way to recharge them is using a crank-style sex recharge thing.
How long does it take you guys to have an underwater orgy with John?
And who goes first? take you guys to have an underwater orgy with John? And who goes first?
Love you guys.
Wanted to ask you a gay question for quite some time now.
Jesus Christ.
What have we done with our lives?
What have we done with our lives?
Isaac out there is like, I really wanted to do this.
This guy is like, I've been waiting.
I'm a little trepidatious.
After about five months, I realized I should finally ask my gay questions.
I didn't want to give you guys the rigmarole.
JP right a boogin.
I'd start doing it immediately.
I'd be gay to save our lives.
Every question is how fast would you be gay?
Every single question.
I'd be gay immediately.
The minute they go, oh, we're failing.
I go, all right.
I'd open my ass cheeks up
and go, fuck me.
Dude, I wouldn't fuck you.
Oh, really?
That would save our lives?
Nah, dude.
I'd let you fucking...
If it saved us?
No, bro.
I wouldn't do that shit, dude.
You're a homophobic
piece of shit, dude.
Yeah, I'm gonna stay homophobic, bro.
It's Pride Month,
you fucking asshole.
You're a real prick.
Next question.
He goes, you're a real prick.
Dear John,
Yeah?
If the crew of the sub were as fat as you, how many semen You're a real prick. Next question. He goes, you're a real prick. Dear John. Yeah.
If the crew of the sub were as fat as you, how many semen could you fit on board?
And is that more or less semen than can fit inside your belly?
Okay.
This is a double entendre, right?
So you have semen as like a sailor versus semen as in sperm.
Yeah.
Right.
From MF Electric.
MF Electric.
I'm going to be honest with you.
If I fucking starfished in that sub, I'd probably only be able to, like, do you think I could take up maybe, it was 15 feet, right?
What?
What was it?
Yeah, probably around there.
Yeah, you'd probably just fit a few of me, you know.
All right, next question.
Hopefully no more gay stuff.
This is a serious question for John.
Oh, sick.
If John was the captain, would he shove the controller up his big, thick, hairy gay ass to steer it,
or use his sexy, long, gay tongue to steer it?
I'd use the tongue, dude.
From Zorab.
That'd be hotter to look at.
Not a...
You can't even see the controller,
but if you see my tongue manipulating the analog sticks,
it'd be great.
Hopefully we get a real one
because I learned a lot about subs
for this.
I'd be curious to hear what you guys
would do if you were in that situation
and what ideas you'd have to survive.
Didn't get a name.
Okay.
If I was in that situation and what ideas you'd have to survive didn't get a name okay uh if i was in that situation right so we would i mean like how do you how do you think you could
have i mean there must have been warning signs do you think you hear like creeks well so this
sub was this is one of the design aspects that was criticized One of the specs on this thing that people are lighting up
online,
most submarines use
a scanning system to
detect pressure faults in the engineering.
These guys
pioneered some new system
using microphones
to listen to creaky sounds.
Oh, echolocation. No, no, no.
Oh, to listen. Oh, it's just a very sensitiveocation. No, no, no. Oh, to listen.
Oh, it's just a very sensitive microphone.
Exactly.
So, like, yeah, yeah.
And so people were saying, like, this isn't efficient.
The scan system already works.
Like, we don't, you know, this doesn't make any sense.
So, I mean, obviously, if I could go back in time and engineer the thing,
I would say, like, let's follow some protocols.
Am I on the sub
without being able to change anything?
I guess I would just fucking...
I would drop the ballast tanks.
I would meet the captain.
They did drop the ballast tanks.
I would...
You dropped the ballast?
They did drop the ballast tanks.
But so they think...
Hasty, hasty ascent.
I think they were going a little too fast.
Yeah, and it probably shook were going a little too fast yeah
and it probably and it probably shook it up a little bit further i'm picturing a scenario
where both on the boat right joey's got the captain and he's trying to tell him about the
fucking thing yeah and like i'm like a i'm like a shug knight character and i'm like i'm like
taking him and like pouring i'm like holding him over the side of the boat and i'm like you better
fucking use the laser scanning system you cocksucker yeah yeah yeah like joey's like this sound thing doesn't sound good buddy it sounds kind of like a goof to be honest
and uh but if i'm in this if i'm in the sub you know uh do you think they heard anything do you
think that well i mean they lost contact and shit bud well no no so yeah they definitely heard stuff
and so this the suspicion is that they started to hear creaks and cracks.
Yeah.
And they dropped the ballast tanks and they imploded on the way back up.
But by then it was just too fucked up and they still imploded.
Yeah.
Going to skip Devin because he doesn't understand science.
No, I don't care.
Yeah.
Next question.
Science.
Science.
What the thing that got us all to get the vaccine, huh?
Buckle?
Hell yeah, dude.
Wow, what a thing. I wish I looked
into it more so I could, you know, kill
my family.
Wow, love science.
Jesus Christ. It went from being about fucking,
you know, making volcanoes out of
hot dogs and vinegar to,
you know, killing your family.
Next question.
Dear John, according to the Coast Guard,
the Titan submersible suffered a
catastrophic implosion, resulting in
the death of all five passengers.
Do you feel a sense of kinship with those lives
lost, as you yourself
have suffered from a catastrophic implosion
after having so many trains
ran on you from Joseph?
Don't even answer that.
Don't even dig enough.
Come on, Joe.
Next question.
Were they butt-fucking
knowing the sub was going to implode
or were they gooning it out
individually from the other?
What is gooning?
I don't know, but that's great.
Gooning?
Gooning?
Gooning?
Gooning it out individually.
Gooning is...
Oh, it's something fucked up. Hold on. Let me look up the definition. gooning? They're getting it out individually. Gooning is, oh, it's something fucked up.
Hold on.
Let me look up the definition.
Gooning?
Somebody told me this recently.
So were they butt-fucking?
This guy wants to know, though.
I don't, I was hoping they were.
It's the state that you achieve after a prolonged edging session.
That's not that fucked up.
That sounds awesome.
Yeah, it's actually not that fucked up.
Yeah.
I think they were gooning.
I just like gooning.
I pictured like a bunch of goons down there just like beating their dicks.
But I was hoping they were just like raping each other at the bottom of the sea floor
and like they were like eating each other like the fucking Pakistani guy was like in
torn to pieces.
Who?
Matty Ratt?
Huh?
Matty Ratt?
No, not Matty Ratt.
Matty Ratt was in that sub.
God bless Matty Ratt. Matty Ratt was in that fucking sub. I would have put Matty Ratt Huh? Matty Rat? No, not Matty Rat. Matty Rat was in that sub. God bless Matty Rat.
Matty Rat was in that fucking sub.
I would have put Matty Rat in the sub.
I would have put Matty Rat in the sub.
Mark Wahlberg, fucking Sully.
I would have put Sully in there.
I would have put Buzz Aldrin.
All right, how many more questions we got, Joe?
None of your business.
No.
Next question.
Was this experimental sub ring really just a fetish toy out of a demented billionaire's S&M dungeon?
Imagine how much gooning you...
Another gooning!
More gooning.
They love gooning, these folks.
Imagine how much gooning went on in there at the thought of being locked inside.
Yeah, because they were edging.
It's a physical...
It's like a CG, but that's weird.
It's like a cock cage. It's not weird but that's weird. It's like a cock cage.
It's not weird, you get it.
It's like a cock cage.
There's no better cum than when you're about to die.
Imagine being on a plane, they go, we're going down.
You start jacking off.
Imagine that cum right before you hit the floor.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Okay, we have a few more questions.
Jesus Christ, Joey.
This is actually, I'm actually starting to get annoyed
as to how many fans we have.
There used to be like five questions.
If we get any bigger,
which would still be not even that big of a show,
and we ask these questions,
it'd be like,
Joey, did you edit them?
We're going to need those fucking Iranian kids
at the end of Argo
that are putting the goddamn documents together
to go through all these questions.
Great reference.
I had no memory of that movie,
but good reference.
I still ignore it ignore I ignored 50%
People are upset every week
They go fuck you
By the way the way it works
If you want to get like locked in
On the corner
Respond right away
Joey will post on Friday
Every Friday around like 11am
Yeah
Then you get locked in And so what I do though is I just copy paste On Friday, every Friday, around like 11 a.m. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sure. Yeah.
Then you get locked in.
And so what I do, though, is I just copy-paste,
and then once I have too many, I start reading new ones, and I'm like, well, that one's, it has to be very fucking good to make it.
Do those guys end up at the tail end?
So why don't you scroll down to the good ones?
No, no, the good ones are at the top.
Sack, sack, sack.
No, no, no, the new ones are at the top.
Oh, word, word, word.
There's no rhyme or reason.
Okay, next question.
And listen, I'm giving the people a long joke
because I care about the fans.
You're gooning the fans.
Oh, you're gooning them.
You're gooning the fans.
This is J-O-I.
This is J-O-I.
Hey, pull your cock out and start checking.
Imagine Joey doing a J-O-I.
Come on the count of three.
Joey's like, look at my big biceps.
Hey, here goes next come.
Three.
Come on the count of three.
Very good, very good, very good.
You just came.
It was very good, very good.
Great, now eat your cum.
Buddy, you just came.
Your pants.
Very good, very good.
Okay.
Come for mommy.
A hypothetical question for Submarine Corner.
How would Devin the Otter, God's good angel,
graduate?
Okay, sick.
I like that.
That takes time.
Thanks, buddy.
Thank you.
That's beautiful.
I am God's good angel.
What a nickname.
God's good angel.
You're the devil's homo.
Anyways.
How about the God's good Joey and John?
So I'm God's good angel, so what would he...
How would Joey and John, the faggy fat man,
persevere if they were stranded together in a submarine
and came face to face with the undiscovered
DC Lovecraftian horror?
Oh, I got this.
No, no, no.
There's a giant monster in the water.
Yeah, yeah.
And I'm...
We're in a submarine and we...
You're God's favorite angel.
You're God's favorite angel.
And we see a giant Lovecraftian monster.
How do we react?
Do you know what that is, Devin?
No, I don't.
It's like a big giant squid man.
Sure.
Like the size of the Empire State Building
how do we react?
Devin hates snakes and shit
he would start crying
I'd be fine, it's not a snake
in the scenario
listen, I would fucking kill it
and you guys would be like
we gotta fucking kill this thing
and I'd be like, guys, let it be
Devin would be like definitely let's suck it
devin's like why would we go down another 3 000 feet so we could see it's balls
it's three thousand feet it's really big so like he's like listen we need to descend we need to send right level with it's not like the captain like, why do you want to see under it? Like, why?
I'm Todd's favorite angel.
I need to see this thing's nuts.
He's like, well, go, but I don't get it. I don't see why.
This thing's nuts.
All right.
Next question.
In the scenario of you guys being trapped in a submersible with only days left of oxygen
and no chance of being rescued, who among you would be the first to lose their mind?
My money would be on Devin.
It'd be Joey.
Joey, you would go insane.
My money's on Devin.
Otters can only handle so much until they break.
Long time fan of the pod
since the first version of the pod.
Love you guys.
Carlos.
I hate that you love it, fan.
Yeah, Carlos.
What a legend you are, Carlos.
Do you have his last name or anything? Can we plug him? No, he's a, fan. Yeah, Carlos. What a legend you are, Carlos. Do you have his last name or anything?
Can we plug him?
No, he's a regular guy.
Thanks, Carlos.
We appreciate that.
Joey would go nuts.
I forget what the question was, but I would win.
Who would lose their mind first?
Joey would go insane.
Joey would go crazy.
Joey can't sit still while watching a movie.
We had to leave John Wick 4 because he couldn't sit still.
You can't even watch...
We were all hammered and nobody wanted to...
And John is the guy that can't
watch movies. You're the reason we left John with four.
I watch six movies a day.
Well, yeah, but you're not hammered. Yeah, when I'm sober.
I watch six movies a day.
So what am I, hammered on the sub?
Oh, right. Yeah, you wouldn't do that.
You kidding me? We'd go on the sub.
You'd be like, hold on, let me make a pit stop at 7-Eleven
real quick. That's actually a really good point.
I would never go on a sub. You would never go on a sub.
You'd be hammered and restless an hour in.
You'd be like, guys, how about we go back in?
If I was trying to open it up.
Yeah, you'd be trying to open the door.
I could swim in this.
You would kill everybody immediately.
You'd be like the guy that every once in a while we see on a Southwest flight,
somebody tries to open the door on the plane. Like the guy sitting by the exit that's you so if i were sober i would
be i would last the longest i would die like a king and you guys would be that's true if you
were sober i could i think you would do a lot of you would just take a nap and then you'd be drunk
drunk i would be i definitely would be flipping out and being like, you fuck. I'd be harassing the captain.
Yeah, you'd be putting Lemon Party on the screen.
You'd be a horrific person.
You'd be like fucking.
You would press the button that like fucks everything up.
I'd be going like, why the fuck?
Like, why didn't you design this thing better?
I'd start going on and on.
Yeah, the ODD starts flaring.
Yeah.
I'd go, you were so fucking confident, you piece of shit.
You convinced my fucking friends to come on this submarine
and now listen to that creaking and that fucking cracking.
You wouldn't say anything that coherent.
You'd go, what are you, a cuck?
Yeah, a cuck.
It's a cuck.
It's a cuck, Murray.
Yeah, are you a Titanic cuck?
You're getting for the Titanic.
You make no sense.
Well, depending on how hammered I was.
It depends on how. How many more questions we got, depending on how hammered I was. It depends.
What do we got?
How many more questions we got, bud?
Couple more, queerbait.
Don't stop asking.
None of your business.
Next question.
If you were stuck in a Titan sub below the Titanic,
how would you make sure you survived? Or were the last of life?
Gabe Redmond, who has been making clips,
hate watch clips.
Oh, is that the guy that made the last one with the hate?
No, that was Mike Salo, I think.
Oh, fuck.
And then Yarmul's is on.
Yeah, Yarmul's makes our,
by the way, thank you so much, Yarmul's.
Yarmul's, they look great.
He's the greatest fucking sign ever,
and his editing is so good.
When he comes out to LA, I'm going to have to commission him to basically fix up my home.
Yeah.
I love Yarmulks.
I've never been so excited for somebody to move.
He sent me that bar.
He sent me, like, a bar thing with a bunch of cups, and I left it at your place because
if I bring it to my house, I don't know how to put it up.
It needs to be, like, bolted in.
It needs to be bolted in, and I need Yarmulks to do it.
We can go to Musso and Frank's or in. I need the animals to do it.
We can go to Musso and Frank's or something.
I'll buy you dinner.
What do you want?
Gabe, though, is saying,
how would you be the last one to survive?
I guess the... Devin dies first.
Devin dies first.
You would want us to kill you.
What?
Trapped at the bottom of the ocean?
Here's the thing.
I play dumb.
I'm stronger than both of you.
No, you're not. This is Devin like i'm i'm big too kind of moment you guys have no idea what i'm capable of
you would start you would start getting all gay because you can't call your girlfriend
joey would like be like ah man i can't i i can't fucking watch stuff on my phone or something
i would sit there like a monk like a buddhist and i would be fine you guys have like no respect for
me no truly like like you guys have like zero respect for me and and like i would kill it you
guys have you have no understanding when i'm cable why don't we simulate this how we get a little we
get some cardboard box.
Sure. Then we send the cardboard box.
Yeah, okay. I'll stay there forever.
You're the one that's going to need to take a giant shit.
I'm finished.
John's going to need to go get
ketchup flavored Doritos at some point.
John actually needs that discipline.
John's literally a massive
child. You're just a giant
fat child. I kick ass and I reject this.
Anyways, continue.
Well, I accept it.
John rejects it.
Last question.
John has to pick four other people to go on the executive mission.
Oh yeah, all guys.
This is weird.
Some guy said five, so we already answered that.
We can end it.
John would go to a Chippendales
and be like, you, come with me.
All the buffest dudes from
Chippendales. Yeah, all the buffest guys.
Alright, well, that was it.
Alright, folks. God bless. Good night.
I love you all. Can we play this?
Yeah, it's been on YouTube for
nine years. Fuck yeah.
Hate Watch Podcast. Patreon.com
slash hatewatchpodcast.
Thank you
so much.
This is not... Yeah, I don't...
The Spongebob Squarepants theme without the fucking
singing sucks. You don't even know that music
exists. I thought you were gonna sing.
Yeah. I wasn't gonna sing. No, I can't
do that. Yeah.
Then never mind. Good night, folks.
Good night, guys.
We love you.
Joey R. LaFleur on Instagram.
Joe Rola on Discord if you want to get really wild.
Don't promote Lemon Party on this.
We're not.
Oh, shout out to fucking...
I'm kidding.
John, say your stuff.
John Badman on fucking Instagram with two Ds. Shout out to Will... I'm kidding, yes. John, say your stuff. John Badman on fucking Instagram with two Ds.
Shout out to Will Larkin.
Thanks for coming by the bar.
Good fan.
Oh, you said he went to St. Francis, right?
He went to SF.
Good classic SF boy, Will Larkin.
That's good.
I don't think I never met him.
He's a sweet boy.
I love anybody at St. Francis High School that respects me.
Yeah.
Fucking Beatles kick ass. Fucking Beatles kick ass.
The Beatles kick ass.
This is not, that's not the instrument.
I know, but I know, I know.
I didn't notice the sax.
They did not have that Kenny G sax.
I understand.
That's why we got away with it.
God bless you all.
Good night.
Good night.
Good night.
That was my fucking song.