Hate Watch with Devan Costa - Bushido Boulevard
Episode Date: May 22, 2023John was deemed too mentally ill to be on Naked & Afraid, we watch an insane British woman who thinks a dog is being abused by trainers, talk dogs, investigate the underworld of people reviewing fast ...food restaurants on Yelp and finish up with Bushido Boulevard, a new segment where we (idiots) give life advice Support the show and get 20% off & free shipping with the code Hatewatch at https://www.SheathUnderwear.com Get weekly bonus episodes: https://www.patreon.com/HateWatchPodcast
Transcript
Discussion (0)
It's good to be in something from the ground floor.
I came too late for that.
I know.
But lately, I'm getting the feeling
that I came in at the end.
The best is over.
Many Americans, I think, feel that way.
You ready?
Huh?
Whole episode's on you today.
It's all on me, dude.
All right, bro.
Let's go.
Let's fucking go.
All right, dude. When's fucking go. All right, dude.
When's the last thing we said about naked and afraid?
Yeah, what is the update on that?
They denied me.
I'm too crazy.
That's literally what they said?
They said you're too crazy?
The guy said, don't do any more work.
You're just too crazy.
Have we talked about this?
No, we haven't brought it up.
We have.
We have.
What are you talking about?
We had a whole thing.
That you didn't get it?
Yeah, they said I had Unabomber in the Jungle vibes.
Was that on Patreon or on me?
I don't think we did that here. What? Oh, fuck. Yeah, they said I had Unabomber in the Jungle vibes. Was that on Patreon or a meme? I don't think we did that here.
What? Oh, fuck.
Yeah, I did my interview. The guy said...
Maybe we did. Yeah, they
said I was crazy.
They said I described myself as mentally
ill, and I was like, well... Well, you did,
didn't you? Sorry.
Why'd you do that? Sorry.
They already know people that want to go to
the jungle and get a bunch of diseases for $4,000.
All the people who go on that show are mentally ill.
We're at the fucking January 6th riots.
It's insane.
Like, fucking...
What?
Yeah, it's all like crazy libertarian Republicans and shit.
You stood out there mentally ill amongst them.
How do you fucking go on naked and afraid?
Yeah, and they said I just give them Unabomber and the Jungle Fives.
I didn't know that was the faction of naked and afraidives. I didn't know that was the faction of Banking and Affraiders.
I didn't know they were all January 6th.
All those breaking every NDA they fucking had.
But so anyways, Survival Corner's over.
I guess the Survival Corner's done.
You didn't do it.
Well, the next thing is, I will get on one reality TV show,
but the next one I'm really shooting for is 60 Days In.
I want to be on 60 Days In.
You want to go to prison?
Jail.
Jail. For 60 days. You get paid way more to be on 60 Days in. I want to be on 60 days in. You want to go to prison? Jail. Jail. For 60 days.
You get paid way more to be on 60 days in.
So, okay, like, how are we not supposed to think
you're gay? No, nobody gets
fucked in jail, bro. It's fucking... Right.
Nobody gets fucked in jail, dude. Why?
Why? Because it's not prison.
Jail is a year and under. Nobody's
fucking anybody in jail, because they're getting out in a year.
I thought it was the opposite. You don't think gay...
No, people get fucked in prison, because prison, you're there for 15 years. You're gonna fuck a dude. Everyone... Why? If you're fucking a dude in jail because they're getting out in a year. I thought it was the opposite. You don't think gay... No, people get fucked in prison
because prison,
you're there for 15 years.
You're going to fuck a dude.
If you're fucking a dude in jail,
that's crazy.
That's not that crazy.
You could be a gay guy in jail.
It's like, I'm going to rape...
I think they put them
in their own protective wing.
They know that?
Yeah.
Oh, fuck yeah, dude.
Is jail state and prison as federal?
Is that...
That county is jail.
So what's federal and state
when it comes to jail?
There are actually several federal prisons.
One of them is the one that Epstein was killed in.
The other one, and these are not run by private entities.
These are run by the federal government.
They have the one Marion, the one the Blues Brothers got out of.
I don't think there are that many federal prisons as opposed to prisons.
You've got to be like Ted Kaczynski
to go to federal prison
you gotta do like a big felon
ADX, Florence, you're in Bombersville
so why did you lead with the mentally ill thing
I didn't lead with it, I ended with it
because here's the deal fellas
sorry, didn't mean it, no
relax, you fucking blew it
I blew it, I blew it, but the thing is
it was funny, all you had to do was say the funny thing.
Mentally, it was in the nomenclature.
All you had to do was be the funny thing
about like you were going to sprint at the woman
when you landed.
They would have,
no, the guy told me,
the guy told me I had to tone it down
when I did the interview.
And I tried to tone it down
as much as humanly possible.
But they asked me like,
why should we pick you?
And I was like,
because I'm fucking,
I was like,
because I'm the wildest,
most mentally ill fucking guy ever.
That's him toning it down.
Toning it down.
They asked you to tone it down so you acted like Charles Manson on the stand.
I was like, woo-woo-woo-woo.
Well, listen.
Listen, if I'm too crazy for naked and afraid, sorry, guys.
That's the lame one to be.
I want to be on 60 Days In.
I want to be in there.
I want to go.
I want to click up with my race.
I want to fucking go in there.
You want to be on 60s In to be like,
it's okay to be racist?
You want to go to jail so you could be
finally guilt-free
a white supremacist?
I'm doing this because I'm undercover.
That's so funny.
You go to jail for the night
because you get a DUI and you come out
Muslim.
You come out with Nazi tattoos
on. The guy that gets
radicalized within like 10
hours. Yeah.
He wants to get a DUI, go to jail for the
night and he comes out and he's like, I've joined
the whites. And they're like,
buddy, it's okay. It's just like a
fine. He's got a cross tattoo.
He's like, well, I don't know.
He's doing the Nazi salute. I have a lot., I don't know. He needs to be doing the Nazi salute.
I have a lot.
I've learned survival.
Yeah, you know, it's funny, too.
Well, I mean, yeah, I would love to be on 60 Days In.
It seems like a fun kind of time with the guys, Low-key.
What is 60 Days In?
Do they take a civilian and they bring him in jail?
They put you in jail for 60 days and your job.
Who do they put?
What do you mean?
Who do they grab and put in jail?
Is it, like, a reporter?
A wide variety of people.
Oh, just, like, any contestant.
So, anybody, and then your job is to find out
what all the illegal activity is happening in prison.
Whoa.
That sounds like a fucking awesome show.
It's a kick-ass show.
It's a kick-ass show, but, like, there's, like...
Your job is to find out where, like, shanks are being made,
where the drugs are coming in, like, all this stuff. Holy shit. And then you,
like, and then you just, you're in prison for
six days. And some guys don't make it, like,
a week. Because, like, they're retarded.
There was one guy in the first season that was literally
retarded. He kept, like, he was just doing everything
wrong, and he was, like, an actor, and everybody
was, like, immediately, like, this guy's weird.
Because also, all the, because they install
these cameras in the jail before they put the
contestants in. He thought it was Mr. Orn from Reservoir Dogs.
They're all just like, what is this actor retard doing here?
What was he doing wrong?
He was like, he was just, he was making a show of himself.
He wasn't like keeping his head down.
And like, there's like, like, you know, there's, he wasn't being himself.
What was he like walking around like Fa la la la la.
Kind of.
Honestly kind of.
This is the Meisner technique.
I studied Uta Hagen.
No there was
a point where all the prisoners
were gathering around and praying because they had a little
Christian circle and he refused to hold anybody else's
hands and they were like what the fuck's up with you dog.
Why don't you hold our hands? We're in a prayer circle.
Yeah.
And, like, but, like, there was some...
Why don't you method act
getting fucked in the ass, brother?
Well, there was one...
There was one...
There was one...
I don't think it happened
to any of the contestants,
but there was a guy
who was, like, an ex-Marine
who went in there,
and there was a dude
who was in the jail
who was, like, kind of gay.
He was, like, a big, fat gay guy,
but he was kind of hood, and then there was another guy who was in the cell. John's talking to the third person. Yeah, is a big fat gay guy. But he was kind of hood.
And then there was another guy who was in the cell.
John's talking to the third person.
Yeah, is this you?
Yeah, and then there was another guy in the cell.
Big fat gay guy, but he was kind of hood.
He was kind of hood.
Well, he was like light-skinned black, dude.
But then there was this bully in the jail cell
who kept like threatening to fuck him.
Oh, shit.
Yeah, and he just didn't understand that that does, you know.
And, but the thing is all the all the prisoners are like
on high alert because they install these cameras before they go in yeah so uh uh these guys have
fucking security systems in their sphincter yeah because yeah no laser security but there was the
one guy there was one guy who literally went in he was a pastor that was an ex-gang member he's
this latino guy named abner went in and then literally became the leader of the Latinos
in his cell block.
In an episode of 60 Days In?
In one season.
He was,
he started,
he went in as,
as an ex-gang member.
His name was Abner.
What jail is this?
This is in a jail in Arizona.
So like,
the,
the jails in the Southwest
are way more like race politics-y.
Cause it's a lot of,
what you,
a Mexican dude?
Well,
if you're in the South,
there's just a lot of black dudes.
But if you're in the Southwest, there's a lot of black dudes but if you're in the southwest there's like mexican yeah and so he had he had arian brotherhood um uh mexicans there was one in that same season there was a guy who was uh basically so when they
so a lot of these guys they'll spend their time in county till their court case is done then they
get transferred to prison and there's one guy i think he was a contestant he went in as a white guy and he was like oh i don't want to be with
the white guys in prison i want to be with the blacks and all the white aryan brotherhood guys
in prison were under the assumption that he was going to be going to a yard at some point he was
going to be transferred county and going to prison and they kept telling him like hey the second you
get to prison you're getting killed. Because you said that?
Yeah,
because you do.
And he allied with the blacks.
The blacks were like,
sure,
we'll take you,
but like,
it's weird.
And like,
because he grew up around blacks,
that was his thing.
They were like,
yeah, we'll take you,
but you will be dead.
He's like,
yeah,
you will be stabbed.
And like,
the thing is,
the Aryan Brotherhood guys
in that season were scary.
They were like,
jacked.
That's crazy.
Yeah,
it was a really,
really good season.
They're always scary.
That's like a new system. that's like a new uh like like yeah like social reality where like it's like if a guy like
a white guy wanted to become like a rapper they were like yeah i mean you could be a rapper but
you will be killed you will be killed well the crazy thing is they're getting their information
from the shoe so like the head of the area like which could be in a totally different area of the
prison it's like the guys who don't interact with anybody because they're so dangerous,
those guys run the yards from the SHU.
The special housing unit.
Yeah, so they'll hear about everything happening
in county jail.
That's getting put to maximum security,
and then the guys in maximum security
are sending messages out to county jail
and be like, yeah, green light this guy
when he gets to prison.
I had Michael, because Michael was in the SHU.
Michael crippled guy that goes to tracks
Union Station, John's body.
It says it like, it's like, oh, really?
Michael Douglas?
Michael? The crippled guy
at your bar.
No, Johnny, stop for a second.
Hang on. Michael is a crippled
guy that goes to...
You can't say it like that. He's a crippled guy that goes to... You're not explaining it, you fucking manic psycho. You can't say it like that.
He's a crippled guy that is a regular everyday John's bar.
He's like the best.
He's such a nice guy.
He's like a really good guy, but he was in a punk rock gang in the late 70s, early 80s
in La Mirada, which I guess was a thing back then.
Punk rock gang.
Yeah, like skin...
Like kind of skinhead-y, but not racist.
They're like,
we don't take naps.
Yeah.
No, like they would actually
rob banks and shit, right?
Dude, they would like,
yeah, they would like do
scary gang shit.
Yeah, they would do
like crazy mosh pits and shit.
Well, that was part of it.
Like extra fucking crazy mosh pits.
So when he went to,
because when he went to prison,
and he was in prison
for like close to 30 years,
he only got out five years ago.
For what?
What did he do?
He won't tell me.
He made music.
He made music.
No, he said he had a nail that was this long that he hid behind a sink,
and the guards found and then sent him out of the yard he was in control of.
And then when he was in maximum security, when he was in the hole,
one of the sheriff's deputies came to him and was like, Hey, the guy who's running your yard now, he's a biker.
He's a biker.
Okay.
And the thing is, is he was like, I guess back then he was like, the yards are run by, he said the yard was run by the Aryan Brotherhood.
And Mike, it was really complex because Michael's Jewish, but he was white.
So the Aryan Brotherhood, he wasn't in the Aryan Brotherhood, but they were like, he was a key holder.
So when they were gone, he was running the yard for them.
And like, he was like-
Did he ever say he was Jewish?
He was, and they pressed him and they kept,
and then he said he was, he told them he was Jewish
and then they kind of surrounded him.
And he was like, listen guys, like, you know what I do.
And you know, I'm like a gang member.
And they were like, all right.
And then they started calling him a hard ass kike.
And then he ran the yard.
Like he said this out of his mouth it was crazy
and while he was in the
while he was in the
the sheriff's deputies were in on it too
hold on real quick I just want to say new name for the episode
they were like
hardest kike in the yard
that'll do numbers on YouTube bro
we might have had that
but he basically while he was in the shoe
he or the hole or whatever the fuck he was in one of the sheriff's deputies came to him because a
lot back then a lot of the sheriff's deputies were gang affiliated they were the guys who got brought
drugs into the prison the sheriff's deputies came to him and said hey the arian brotherhood found
out that a biker gang member is now running the yard here and he was like back then biker gangs
would be uh mixed race you'd have like black dudes in the gang and he was like back then biker gangs would be mixed race.
You'd have like black dudes in the gang and he was like yeah
we can't have that. So Michael
got taken out of the hole to go back
and take the yard back from this biker
gang guy. From a mixed race
leader. It was like the craziest
the weirdest shit dude.
And he was like. And you think you could handle
these conditions. That's prison.
That's not jail.
That's prison.
And also, it's the 70s and 80s, dude.
Shit was crazy back then.
But what's happening right now...
I bet it's crazy now.
Because I get guys getting out of prison constantly.
How is it not crazier now?
It is crazy now.
John, you're not lasting a minute.
I'll last 50.
Jail or prison, state, federal, whatever.
Well, the crazy thing is happening right now.
At least lions don't want to rape you.
Nobody's going to rape me in jail.
You're going to be raped.
You're so rapable.
You're the first guy.
You're like a reality TV show.
Of course they're going to rape you.
You're like a fucking Michelin man and all that pushing for the cushion.
You look so doughy and lovely.
Have you seen my ass?
Yes, you're like perfect for them.
No, I have the flattest ass on earth, dude, and I can make it tight uh i don't think you crunch it up chop their cock off yeah i'll rip it off like a guillotine
like a like a cigar cutter oh okay then yeah i'm too i'm fascinated by prison they're just
gonna start shooting ropes yeah i'm just fascinated by prison now because i get so
many guys who come out of prison who come directly to my bar and just tell me about what prison's like
and I guess there's this thing that happened recently
where they're now
if you were gang affiliated then you didn't want
to be gang affiliated when you went to prison
they would put you on a completely separate yard and they called you dropouts
and he was like
so if you were a member of a crip
if you're a crip and you went to prison
you're like I don't want to do gang stuff anymore
I want to get my life together we're going to put you in a prison, you're like, I don't want to get to be, do gang stuff anymore. I want to get my life together.
Like,
okay,
we're going to put you in a different yard full of other guys who don't want
to be crips anymore.
Okay.
Yeah.
So sit at the kid's table.
Exactly.
And then he said,
and then what would happen is,
uh,
you would go into protective custody.
But the thing is,
is he's like,
these guys are like,
there's still race politics on those protective custody yards,
but it's not as gnarly.
And then,
uh,
but now I guess recently they just started combining the yards again. So now you have active gang members with guys who dropped out of the gang. And it's not as gnarly and then uh but now i guess recently they just
started combining the yards again so now you have active gang members with guys who dropped out of
the gang and it's like really a lot of violent shit's happening right now in prisons jesus i
think it's like a post-covid thing but yeah michael i i asked michael i said why wouldn't why i remember
i asked michael i said why wouldn't you want to be in protective custody it seems like the most
obvious thing to do if you go you're like i don't want to be mixed up with like erring brotherhood guys all day just like put me in the
regular yard and he said michael was like well it's like kind of like an honor thing and plus
it's like you know all your buddies are also in gangs you know i mean like why would you lose your
entire friend group and then he was like i was like is there a reason you would go into protective
custody he was like yeah the reason you go into protective custody is you pretend to be in
protective custody to go kill a guy in protective custody. And I was like, damn, dude,
like that's crazy.
It's classic shot color stuff.
That's just shot color shit.
Well, bottom line is
you wouldn't last there, buddy.
No, you know that dude, Michael?
I know he's in a wheelchair now.
Don't try to change.
Devin's making a good point.
You know what would happen?
He'd be killed.
John?
He'd be completely,
his whole mentality
would be ruined.
Get me on 60 Days In.
What would he try to do?
60 Days Later,
John would come out
and he'd be like
one of these guys
where he'd be like
a fucking shelter dog
where weird noises
set him off.
He can't even handle
fucking normal life.
Are you kidding me?
You're gonna come out
like two months
around these people.
You're gonna walk out
just like,
hell yeah, brother. I will come out the same guy I will around these people. You're going to walk out just like, hell yeah, brother.
I will come out the same guy.
You're going to walk out with some weird tick.
You'll like bark like a dog at night.
No.
Oh, yeah.
You don't believe me.
It pisses me the fuck off, dude. You'll start talking to gophers.
I'll come over to your place.
You'll be talking to a gopher out back.
But, yeah, I'm just passing for it.
You know what I mean?
He'll lose his mind. I'll be fine. I'll be fine. I wish we could watch 60 Days
In, dude. We can't.
You know what's big? What?
We have a new corner. Oh, wait.
Are we doing it now? Bushido Boulevard. No, not now.
I said we would now. Now? In the middle?
Fuck it. Why not? We gotta do the end.
Okay. That's how
it goes. Fair. We gotta stick with
one. You're right. There's a it goes. Fair. We got to stick with one.
You're right.
There's a formula.
Formula, yeah.
Do you guys see that these TikTokers people are...
What are they doing?
Well, they're doing a lot of stuff, by the way.
They're doing a lot of stuff.
They're walking into homes now.
Bro, I'd fucking shoot somebody.
Have you seen that shit?
Oh, my God.
Turn it on.
They did this in Britain, but that's because...
Oh, they have Britain.
What are the British laws? Like, you can't really do anything? So, look at this. They did this in Britain, but that's because of the British laws.
Like, you can't really do anything.
So look at this.
Look at this.
Look at these kids walking to this home in Britain.
Walking into random houses.
This is a TikTok thing.
This is like the Hyundai Kia challenge.
There's a woman sleeping.
Hey, what are you doing?
What is this?
It's a bunch of
black teenagers walking into a home.
James?
James?
James!
His kids are there?
That's crazy.
No.
This guy goes over to his living room,
sits on the couch. Here for study to his living room swinging sits on the couch
here for study group oh if he sits on my couch
get the out of my house have you seen have you seen a great english a great knockout have
you seen the video look up english guy knocks dude out in his front yard is drunk
what this dad oh my god it's one to bet you'll love this joe on youtube on youtube look up a great knockout. Have you seen the video? Look up English guy knocks dude out in his front yard is drunk. What? This dad.
Oh my god. I just want to bet you'll love this joke.
On YouTube or what? On YouTube. Look up UK. What does that have to do with this?
Just in England.
I don't know. Just in England. That's it.
Knocks out drunk?
Yeah. Drunk front yard. Let me see.
I mean this doesn't make any sense to do.
That's the first video.
It's the first one?
Yep.
All right, well, this better be black teenagers that walked into a home on TikTok.
This is great.
We're going out.
We're going out.
Stop.
Why is he wearing, like, a little Michael Jackson glove?
Because this guy's been up since 3 in the morning at different clubs,
and now he's just harassing families.
Oh, he's all hyped.
Don't do it.
Yeah.
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
You'll love this joke. Move away from my house. What, dickhead? Move away from my house now. Yeah, this guy's just. Yeah. Don't do it. Yeah. You'll love this, Joey.
Move away from my house.
Move away from my house now.
Yeah, this guy's just fucking walking around England,
just all fucking jacked up on gay cocaine and shit.
He's like, oh, I'm a rebel, Mr. Clips.
He's on somebody's front porch.
You're upsetting my son.
Now move away.
Hey. What are you doing? Stop my house. My kids are British fights.
They both sound so mush-mouthed.
They sound like they're swallowing their teeth while fighting.
They're both hooligans.
They're both hooligans. Even though this guy's
on a guy's front steps, I'm like
still like, I don't know, I'm like, what did you do?
What did you do, you
mush-mouthed fucking peep?
Were you throwing beer bottles off your balcony?
Yeah, that guy's baby.
I want to confront everybody in their homes.
The gloves are throwing me off.
It's very strange.
The gloves are interesting.
Yeah.
He looks like a GTA 5 character.
Very well trimmed goatee.
This shirt's coming off.
Get the kid inside.
What the fuck's the kid doing outside, lady?
Oh, look at him post move away from my house wow
what a posture someone to come this guy's being very reasonable close to me de-escalating
i love drunk people so much they're so dumb kick so much ass like this guy's doing this he took his
shirt off he's outside somebody's home their kids are there he's like fighting the husband and he
thinks he's totally in the right.
And that's a beautiful level of confidence,
and only alcohol can provide that confidence for you.
So if you're out there and you need confidence, you drink some.
You drink some alcohol.
You go to somebody's front yard.
You start a fight with the husband.
The kids are out front wailing.
The wife is screaming.
She's trying to wrangle them like chickens on a farm.
And you really go to town.
You go crazy.
You see what happens after that.
You see what the punishment is for that.
Because everyone deserves to see what the outcome of their fun is.
I decided to pick up this defense, and now he's now finding my hustle.
This is your fault, mate.
Talk some shit.
Great English night. Why are you talking shit? He's wearing a coach shirt.
He coaches the local soccer team.
This guy's reformed his life.
Oh, yeah.
He's about to do some
soccer hooligan shit.
I haven't got time for this.
I need to go.
It's Coach Luce's fault.
Move on. He's like jelly.
He's about to wrestle you.
He's on a really short, creepy, over-brand hair. He's got a goatee. And he's really drunk. You can do it from now.
No, no, no.
Listen to me.
He's on his property. Please, quick, send your police that have a roll of quarters
to call another police.
And then they call another police.
And then nobody shows up with guns.
Please.
Can you put this down the chain of events
that ultimately has nobody with guns show up to the scene of a crime, please.
The queen just shows up eventually.
Can you have the queen come?
She might be ugly enough to scare him away.
I'm fighting my house with my children.
He's taking a shower.
He's got black gloves on and he's got a guitar case or something.
No one's touching you.
No one's doing nothing.
Oh, he's got a guitar case.
Bro, this is like some eastbound and down shit.
It's like two retards.
You're on my property. You're unfiltered. I'm coming for my property. You're drunk, man. He's got a guitar. This is like some eastbound and down shit. It's like two retards
Garages what there no, mate?
No, I'm trying to piss you off you're coming to my house In front of my kids Oh he's getting
He's reaching the boiling point
You're not being fucking nice
He's reaching the boiling point
Go away from my house now
Move away from my property
You broke my fucking gate
What if they start
What if they start arguing
About like being British
He's like
You ever ask yourself
What was our steering wheel
On the right side
You ever ask yourself
That cunt
You're a cunt mate
You ever ask yourself Why everything we do Is so weird and much stupider than America.
It is bizarre.
Why is all steering wheels on the rock so hard, mate?
Huh?
That's his big thing.
How come we don't really seem to have a culture here?
How come we don't have a culture here?
Yeah, he goes, mate, how come it feels like we just kind of live in a homogenous, weird society
full of Indian people and Pakistani people, but we kind of hate them,
but we hate ourselves at the same time, mate?
You ever ask yourself that, mate?
It's all the people we conquered, and now they're at our homes, and it's weird.
Mate, you ever ask yourself how dreary and drab the place we live in is?
All the time, mate.
It's covered in fog,
and everything we do
is kind of unfun,
and all the food
kind of stinks, mate.
Why don't we just start, mate?
Mate, you ever ask yourself
why we have beans at breakfast?
You ever ask yourself that, mate?
Huh?
You ever ask yourself
why we enjoy something called,
what is it called?
Blood cock? Blood cock?
Blood cock.
Blood dick?
Blood sausage.
Blood pudding.
Don't they have a dick thing?
Spotted dick.
There we go.
Blood cock.
Blood cock.
Bloody cock.
I don't know.
Blood cock's a movie that sinister queers in.
You ever ask yourself why we eat spotted dick?
It kind of makes us feel like we're fools, mate.
Toed in a hole.
That's why I'm pissed at you.
You're a coach.
You're coaching your kids in a shitty sport.
Blood cock.
Blood cock.
Blood cock.
It's like an 80s movie.
Can that be the name?
Blood cock is the...
You're in front of my children.
We should spend more time on blood cock, but go.
Just move away from my property.
For fuck's sake.
Move away.
There we go. There we go. He's done
He's out
Fuck yeah bitch
That was a great knockout
That's what happens
That's what happens
Fuck around and find out
That was very sick
You guys want to watch
This is one of the craziest Karens
I've seen in quite some time
Defending the vulnerable
Is morally good
Is this England?
Where is that noise?
Why is that happening?
What is that? What did that happening? What is that?
What did we do?
What is playing right now?
I'm John Correa,
the founder of
Stop playing.
Thank you.
Okay.
Mmm.
Yes, yes, yes.
Woo!
You guys want to watch
one of the craziest Karens
I've seen in quite some time.
This woman,
I think it's Australian,
so it's fun.
We get the full scope.
Yeah, we get the Commonwealth.
Freaks out on a dog trainer.
Have you ever had this happen?
I know you've...
Well, Joey's never...
You've owned a dog.
I didn't want to bring up Joey's dead dog.
Oh, come on.
I was about to say...
Rest in peace, lovely baby.
I was about to say Joey's had a dog.
I didn't want to...
I'm sorry, buddy.
I mean...
Rest in peace, Meadow.
Meadow, lovely little baby Meadow.
Passed away, sadly.
I forgive you.
Joey and I, if you don't mind me saying this story for a second.
A while back, Joey and I, we went and bought a dog.
Joey wanted to get a dog, finally.
And he got a beautiful little French bulldog.
And we picked it up in Irvine.
We went to the Irvine Spectrum Center parking lot,
and Joey bought this dog off this Russian John Wick character.
Ukrainian.
Yeah, he was one of those guys with the bull tattoos and hostile.
Yeah.
He was the guy that I found on Craigslist,
and he was advertising I sell French bulldogs.
And it was for like $500 less.
Still like $2,500 or something, but
$500 less than like a great French Bulldog.
So yeah, he goes, okay, yeah,
I'll do it. I live in San Francisco. I'll meet
you at Irvine. Didn't have a car
so I go, Devin, I'm gonna buy
a dog. Come.
Would you take me? So I drove Joey to Irvine.
Pull into this parking lot.
Joey buys this dog out of the trunk
of a fucking weird Ukrainian
who little did he know
in less than five years
he'd have more money than anybody on Earth.
Oh, yeah.
Hopefully he died.
We can only hope he died in the resistance
because he really sucked ass.
He was run over by a tank.
So he sold Joey this dog
and it was bred in a, obviously a fucked up way, I think.
And it wasn't healthy.
Well, Sweet Meadow, she was smuggled over in probably a shipping container on a boat from Ukraine.
That's where he was breeding them.
So they breed them in Ukraine.
They'd send them over.
And then it's like, I'm learning this.
I learned this after the fact.
But you're supposed to leave puppies with their parents for X amount of time
so they can, like, breastfeed and build immunities and, like, gather, like, social skills.
And he just immediately took it.
Right.
So, yeah, they're just trying to, like, you know, maximize profit.
So, yeah, got a dog from this dude who was doing it the wrong way.
Go adopt a dog if you're trying to get a dog.
I did it the bad way, and I bought one off the fucking dark web, essentially.
Yeah, it was fucked.
I guess we learned a lesson.
So Joey bought the dog, took it home it home cared for it and the dog started
getting sick and he paid for a bunch of uh uh you know surgeries and all sorts of procedures
thousands of dollars fuck joey spent ten thousand dollars on this beautiful jesus christ this
beautiful baby and uh she still ultimately died and uh then died in Died in the hospital. Died in the hospital, and then you sued.
Sued him.
And you won.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So that was the, so, you know,
dogs with Joey sometimes are a touchy subject.
We got to get you a big, healthy dog sold legally.
I'm going to wait until I get a yard,
but what was the point of it?
Yeah, it was a wild deviation.
Well, the main point was that have you guys ever owned a dog
and been walking it and somebody says that you're abusing it?
No, but I've had a woman that I remember.
I was like 16, 17, and growing up I was in the same neighborhood every day,
and this woman had one of those wolf dogs.
A husky?
It was like one of those dogs that was bred.
It's like a quarter wolf. It's like a big dog. It looks those dogs that was bred it's like a quarter wolf
it's like a big dog
it's like a wolf
but I had a little terrier named Mitzi
who I loved to death
and she was blind and she was brave
and she would fight coyotes
and she was the shit
and I was walking Mitzi
and every time this woman encountered me
with her big fucking wolf dog
she'd go oh keep your dog away from my dog my dog
will eat it my dog will eat your dog
that's oh my god you
better keep your dog away from my dog my
dog's dangerous and event I dealt
with this for like seven years and
eventually I like walking a criminal
I fucking snapped one day and
I said if your dog gets anywhere near my fucking
dog I'm killing it
get you
you And I said, if your dog gets anywhere near my fucking dog, I'm killing it. And she, ha!
And I walked away.
You said that?
You said I'm killing your dog?
You psycho.
Yeah, it was nuts.
I was like, I'm like, I will fight this woman's dog if she fucking touches a hair on Mitzi's head.
Good.
Good job, Joe.
I used, I protected Mitzi my life.
I would shoot squirrels because they would steal hair off of Mitzi's back.
So that was the only thing that ever happened?
Yeah.
Right.
So I'm saying, like, I had a dog.
I had a mid-sized dog.
Mid-sized four-door. Sheba? Sheba. Beautiful Sheba. Beautiful She dog. I had a mid-sized dog, mid-sized four-door.
Sheba?
Sheba.
Beautiful Sheba.
I love her to death.
Rest in peace, Sheba.
Rest in peace, Sheba.
Rest in peace, Mitzi.
Love her to death.
Rest in peace, Mitzi.
Rest in peace, everyone's loved.
Rest in peace, lady bird.
Rest in peace, everyone's dog.
Dogs are just the greatest gifts on earth.
And so Sheba, she was a big dog, and we had a pinch collar.
That was how we trained her.
We trained her with a pinch collar
and that was the only way
because she would lead you on walks.
She'd try and fight.
She hated other dogs.
She'd go crazy with other dogs.
So we had to have this
and it was the only thing that kept her in line.
I remember one time I was out somewhere
walking her
and some crazy lady came up to me
and was like,
you're abusing that dog.
This is evil.
And tried to start a scene about the pinch collar
and I was like, it's not, it's
literally a light pinch. It's like, we've
read into this. It's not a big deal.
Yeah, leave me alone. Leave me alone.
She was so hairy. There's no way that thing was hurting her.
She had so much hair. It was like,
Yeah, wearing three leather jackets at all
times. So there's a lot of psychopaths out there
that like, pretend that they're
caring about an animal's treatment
when they see somebody walking a dog with maybe a pinch collar or a choke chain.
It doesn't sound good, but it's not really that.
I don't think it's that bad.
So this lady freaks out on a dog trainer and pulls up and is like, just watch.
Sorry, you are who?
Sorry. I'm bringing are who? Sorry.
I'm bringing you to the police.
Go on, man.
I'm so sorry.
I've just watched you all the way down there being cruel to that doctor.
I'm glad you fell in the mess.
I'm glad.
Sorry, who are you?
Get out of my way.
Get out of my way.
I love it.
Get out of my way.
Just some evil lady that like babysat Harry Potter.
These like British old heads.
Get Harry Potter out of the stairs.
Harry! Under your bed, Harry! There's these like British old heads Get Terry Fondra out of the stairs Harry
Under your bed Harry
You sleep under your bed
That face is terrifying
Motherfule little cunt you
You're about to do a Joe Beshie
You motherfucker
Old British people should be killed
this is another this is another type of person out there that somebody that loves animals more
than people yeah that's a creepy person yeah those people those people out there i mean there's a part
of me that does love animals more than people. Of course,
me too, but not. These people
that, like, this woman drives by
homeless people all day. Oh, yeah.
She's like, that dog's being mistreated!
Yeah, she would freak out, yeah.
All the way down there.
I'm telling you!
I love them people who are, like, never getting angry.
Look at that. They're like spazzes.
Look at her fucking black, black
tea teeth her fucking
Happy that dog Something needs to be tried! That dog should be in my possession! So I can suck it!
To completion!
Straight onto him.
Have you seen what we like with this dog?
Go and stroke him!
Go and stroke him!
Have you seen him?
He crawled to this dog!
Yeah, go and stroke him!
Have you seen him?
You see that dog there?
Why is he saying we stroke him?
Yeah, he goes, go, go! He goes, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go jack him off. Jack the dog off, lady. See how abused he is.
He comes ropes, lady.
If he's so abused, why does he come such big shorts?
Oh, if he's in such pain, how come his ropes are huge, lady?
It just all gets weird, the whole video.
Like, they can't even post it.
It's like, yeah, we were, like, in the right,
and then we kind of started admitting to, like, loving our dog's jizz.
And then just got Peter North.
Who are you?
Who are you?
He can't threaten to you.
I am not.
I am not.
Fine God, you weird bitch.
Are you getting the police here, agent, or not?
Yes, yes.
Come in.
There's another one.
Let's talk to him.
By the way, here's another thing.
How come all women and older ladies have phones that are like bigger about like bigger than my head yeah it's like a phone book how come they always have like an
iphone that i don't even think they sell i'm like is that even a size they sell a lady will put up
like an ipad to her head yeah it's like she's calling airstrikes with that thing they buy like
attachable purses it's why they look so big yeah it's the it's a regular sized iphone but then it's
like a giant giant thing.
Holding a chihuahua on the back with their debit card.
I'd be so sick if they let the dog loose on her right now.
That'd be amazing.
Like, get the cunt!
You wanna see how mistreated these dogs are, lady?
They go,
sick em! Sick em, killer!
And she just is eaten alive like that
headspace is getting chewed off
who are you who are you who are you who are you who are you she snapped man
she's crazy look at how deranged she is. Are you married? Fuck you. Are you married?
I'm Mrs. Cadbury.
That guy's a little bit young.
I'm Mrs. Cadbury.
Made of milk and sugar.
Don't forget the name.
Don't forget the name, Mrs. Cadbury, you motherfucker.
You cunt.
I run this neighborhood, you little shit. I run this neighborhood. I run, I run, Bricksbury. Cadbury
Mary like the John Gotti of
Mrs. Cadbury around here
Oh, yeah, you, I deprived Oliver of porridge.
You motherfucker. What the fuck are you on?
She's trying to attack me.
Don't rage on to me.
I was ready to try to attack you.
She's ready to try to hit me in the face.
You've got RMPCA coming at you.
Can't wait, love.
Look at her car.
She's got like a, I think it's like a Yaris.
Who the fuck you want?
I don't care.
It's not a Yaris.
You say everything's a Yaris. It's like a shitty Toyota hatchback think it's like a Yaris. Is that not a Yaris? You say everything's a Yaris.
It's like a shitty Toyota hatchback.
That might be a Yaris.
If that's a Yaris, that's crazy.
I think it's a Matrix or a Yaris.
I don't think they make Matrixes anymore.
A Yaris on the
other side. I don't know. That's crazy.
I'll be real with you. They get weird ass
Toyotas we don't get. Maybe it's a Prius
actually. Maybe it's a Prius. Europe gets really pathetic cars.
Are you married?
I love how he keeps asking if she's married.
Are you sexually harassing me?
My wife's there. I'm not sexually harassing you.
This is going to go viral this lady.
Do what the fuck you want! Do it!
Do it!
Oh, that's a lady that's about to... She was going to jump off a bridge
that day and then she decided to put it all
into a dog. Yeah. She was going to go home and put hot irons to her nine-year-old she was she
avoided doing it because she had to see a fucking exactly she has no family she's got no friends
left she was she was gonna see what it's like to bring a toaster into the bath exactly yeah
and then she was like is that dog being me she's gonna drink a bottle of Chardonnay. It's like her last moments on Earth.
It's like defending a German shepherd.
My poor bitch.
God damn it.
Sad.
It's like Mr. Otto, but it's Mrs. Cadbury.
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It kind of creates a beautiful little teepee for your nutsack, your gooch, and your asshole.
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Come on.
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I don't know what Boy Shorts are.
I guess that's for the bull dykes.
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that's fine too.
And everyone,
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No,
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dude.
It's short shorts for boys.
It's for hot chicks.
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They,
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hey
they emailed me
all right i want to
watch more uh should we read some more yelp
reviews of of of fast food places
we did that on the Patreon earlier and that was like
kind of funny it was
pretty good
there are people on Yelp folks that
write Yelp reviews
for like gas stations
and Jack in the Box
and
McDonald's
this is one of my favorite things that I've seen online.
I didn't know about this subculture.
Look up Astros. Let's do McDonald's.
No, no, no. It's funnier with the fucking...
It's funnier with... Alright, this is
McDonald's. This is McDonald's in our neighborhood.
This is McDonald's where I live.
Where Devin lives.
Give the address. Nope.
The McDonald's on...
Okay, so this is one.
Ordered the new bacon ranch McCrispy,
and those idiots forgot the bacon at ranch!
Whoa.
Fucking idiots!
Jesus.
Like Tony Clifton.
They're like fucking Andy Kaufman characters.
And he forgot the bacon at ranch!
They're smoking a cigarette.
The funny thing is,
here's the crazy thing about that.
You know exactly what that's going to taste like.
Yeah, exactly.
That's why it's insane to review fast food.
Reviewing fast food, it's insane.
It's wild.
It's like reviewing how your remote works for your TV or something.
We're like, well, okay, it's on 140 days.
It wasn't too good today.
It's crazy.
Here's another one.
Penny F.
Horrible services.
Just got my order from Uber Eats.
They're missing my two Big Macs, main part of my meal.
Uber only offered to give me $5 credit.
How does it even make up for not getting my Big Macs for lunch?
She got two Big Macs for lunch?
Yeah, oh yeah.
With fries?
It's a long day.
There's no number on what they owe me for me not having Big Macs for lunch.
Two!
Two Big Macs!
Two Big Macs!
The price of that hunger is a lot more than your stupid Big Macs.
I definitely won't look like an embarrassing fat pig if I write a review about this.
And they're 6'19".
What a ripped off.
She's like illiterate.
Go to her profile.
No, there's no picture.
Okay, AG.
But does she have other reviews?
Oh, Penny.
Yeah, Penny F.
Penny.
Here's another one from Mandarin Noodle House.
All one star.
Everything she gives is one star.
Okay, here we go.
Mandarin Noodles.
Food used to be good.
Today, February 18th, 2023.
Got my usual.
Hot and sour.
Not hot or sour.
No flavor.
Dumplings were too doughy.
Onion pancake, too starchy.
Everything is bad.
The worst was asking for one extra sauce.
That guy gave me such a hard time.
She was raped over the sauce.
For God's sake. I spent over $45 on five items.
At least give me that sauce.
Don't think I'll be coming back. Better start learning how to
cook. She ate all that shit too, bro.
Oh, of course she did. She wants
the sauce for hydration.
Combo A! She's shitting on Combo A!
Fuck you, bitch.
Fuck you, bitch.
Combo A is a classic Echo Park establishment Chinese place.
It's actually not that good.
It's not good at all.
But they should be supported, I guess.
I used to like this place better than Panda Express,
but I had the worst dramatic experiences in July 9th, 2022.
She acts like she's like, it's like the, it's Watergate.
It's like the end of Nightcrawler.
The dates, are they necessary?
On the night of July 9th, 2022.
A day which will live in infamy.
Lacey Peterson was found missing.
Like, what?
It was not crowded.
There was two customers before me and a few more behind me.
The lady was so busy yapping to her friend.
Not paying attention, she started helping me.
Then the guy in front of me wanted a plate.
Then she dumps my noodles out and replaced different noodles for him.
Instead of making a new plate for him.
Then I kept telling her I want three items for Combo B.
Instead, she gave me three plates.
When I was paying, didn't realize why it was so expensive for two combos.
She still ate it all.
So I kept telling her it was not only not over $37.
She says yes.
So I told her I didn't order three plates.
We kept arguing.
So I told her I want my money back.
I don't want it anymore.
She didn't even want to give it back to me.
I lost.
Had to behind the counter to get my money.
What a traumatic stress.
What a traumatic stress.
Damn.
All because she was paying attention
so I have to boycott
this place
she thinks she's like
she thinks she's like
a part of like
the march on Selma
and she's like
she's like shitting
on like local
Chinese restaurants
here's another one
let's scroll through
let's see if she has
like a crazy one
milk bar
is milk bar crazy
milk bar one star
and it starts with
it should be no star
damn damn that's heavy how can anyone milk bar one star and it starts with it should be no star.
Damn.
Damn, that's heavy.
How can anyone serve so horrific food so
disgusting and taste so bad?
I have to throw away my food which cost me
$46.58
total. She's always spending like $45
on shit. This bitch
gets off to spend $48
on lunch.
One B-day slice cake.
Imagine going to lunch
and being like,
I need a B-day cake.
Okay, real quick though.
Let's see if this,
if what she ordered
is for one person
or two people.
It's never.
It's all for her.
Okay, so one slice
of birthday cake.
She's a fat,
vindictive pig.
I'm not an FBI profiler
or anything,
but with full confidence, I can tell you this is a single
human being. I'm still curious
as to what this bitch eats. There's no way
she's at a table with other people
with brains and she's like, yeah, I'm doing
it again. I'm giving them peace of my mind.
And they're like, yeah,
yay, do it again. She's alone.
One B-Day sliced cake,
$10. One cornflake
cookie, $3.20. What is this, a Capital One commercial?
Jesus fucking Christ. One soft serve
cereal milk cup, $6.50.
Jesus Christ, what are your shits like?
You fat pig!
Two Build-A-Raspberry Neapolitan
slice cake at $11 each.
She got two cakes, two slices of cake
$11 each. One miscellaneous
$4.20. What does that mean?
Miscellaneous.
What?
That's weird.
She was too embarrassed to say the last thing she bought.
And then, don't even worry about it.
I got another thing.
Grand total of $46.48.
She spent another $46, which I paid for the most disgusting sweets ever.
Everything is salty, salty, salty.
What the hell?
Fuck.
I would highly recommend you stay away from this place.
Sweet from hell. That's what she wrote.
Jesus Christ.
Milk bar. Man, she hated that. She loves four.
She loves vegan food. Let's go there
tonight. Your food is...
I don't eat vegan.
Baragon's in Burbank.
Baragon's is still open in Burbank, we have to go.
Okay.
Cece.
Oh, she's like in my neighborhood.
Brooklyn Bagel Bakery.
Man, she goes everywhere.
Los Feliz Car Wash.
Yeah.
She's all over the place.
Let's go back to McDonald's reviews.
This poor lady.
Yeah, she's in a hell of her own creation, and I hope she deserves it.
I hope she dies.
Whoa, dude. I hope somebody tracks her. Whoa, dude. I hope she deserves it. I hope she dies. Whoa, dude.
I hope somebody tracks her.
I hope somebody...
I hope Maddie...
I hope Maddie Ratt from the comments
looks her up.
Yeah.
Maddie Ratt, please.
Please take a break.
Just put down the keyboard.
Maddie Ratt, this is a message from God.
Find the previous reviewer and haunt her.
Have you ever seen Predator 2, Matty Rat?
I'm kidding, Matty Rat.
Chill the fuck out, you maniac.
It's crazy, bud.
You're nuts, Matty Rat.
Matty, you just go nuts, dude.
Matty, Matty. It's scary, bud. You're nuts, Matty. Matty, you just go nuts, dude. Matty,
Matty. It's scary.
Give me a crazy Matty Rat.
Matty, like, it's like fucking up the algo, bro. This guy left us
like 80 comments on the last
Hatewatch episode before it even
started. Like, before it started
and then when it started. It's like just
I don't know what's going on
in people's lives. Well on he's watching the live thing
and commenting as you see no no those were separate oh fuck off really so there's a live
chat it's like just just please relax we appreciate your listeners oh we love you man just god hey
maddie if you're getting maddie if you're fucking down in a fifth of jack daniels and doing that
then you know okay no he's having like a psychic. He's like, he's got like an actual mental issue.
He's also one of these guys that like, it's like, they write
these like well-worded
reviews of the episodes, but I'm like,
are you even getting what we did at?
It's like, the way
in which you
described, you know,
gay sex with such a holy
view, but the pedantic nature
with which you counteracted that
was beautiful to watch among the...
And I'm just like, what are you...
What?
There are a lot of super articulate,
you know, people that are watching cartoons
in their heads nonstop.
Yeah.
Bathroom was dirty.
Trash in lobby.
This is a McDonald's.
Overflowing, even with lobby being basically empty,
wasn't greeted or order taken
for at least
two three minutes
just stand at the register
employee even seemed
annoyed she had to do her job
and hit a few buttons
and give change back
15 out of 20
cause I used the exact change
to make it easier
at least 20 different
sized fries
were already made
just sitting in a row
under a heat lamp
ordered went
one light up
to echo park my fries
were of course
cold as fuck
not even a hint of warm
to them
and beginning to that hard texture.
We all know fast food fries when they get dark French and getting old.
God.
Crazy.
I'm trying to get in the brain of a psychopath.
Cut it out.
Chicken sandwich was no surprise.
You want people to turn the fucking podcast off?
As well as Manny's being blocked on and on the side of the sandwich.
Not even on the top of the chicken.
Like, what?
Sheer laziness.
You could, like, wrap.
They have a weird thing.
You could, like, man, you could turn these into wraps.
Yeah, use Amigos flow and do it.
Sheer laziness.
Sandwich also had unordered tomatoes in it, like it's supposed to also, but it said it
on a tomato box, so the bread could get soggy on the outside.
Like, damn, where is the standard?
No wonder it only has two plush.
Sheer, no wonder it only has two plush.
That's pretty good Amigos.
Should have looked up the ratings before I ordered them, rather than listen, learn here.
Listen, learn here. Listen, learn here.
Listen, learn here.
Even if it's inconvenient, drive to a different location.
Different location.
Very good.
I don't know.
That's quite good.
You know, a lot of psychopaths out there reviewing McDonald's.
Waited 20 minutes for a Postmates order.
They were making orange juice at 7.30 a.m.
They should be more prepared.
Imagine going to McDonald's and then going home and being like, they should be more prepared.
And why doesn't that McDonald's have military position?
It's truly insane.
It's like going to a homeless shelter and writing a review.
Yeah, it's nuts.
What's the grossest thing you've ever seen in a restaurant?
Not a restaurant.
One time I was in a video store, and a guy just let his kid,
his kid just started, pulled his dick out,
started peeing in front of all
the videos like on the carpet he let the dad the dad was just like and just like grabbed the kid
picked him up and he was peeing he was peeing while he was being carried out of the store man
but the trashiest part was that the dad never came back and was like i'm so sorry he just
they just like got in their honda and like left i would have done that i would just be like you
know what i'm not i'm taking this to hell.
Yeah, why am I going to go back and apologize to a bunch of people?
It's a crazy thing.
The kid literally, like, you know, the kid pissed all over the store.
Yeah, so he would run off and hide.
And it wasn't like a chain.
I get it.
I remember I used to.
Remember the McDonald's on the Long Pre in Vine we'd hang out at when we worked Sleipenfetsch?
No, I never did Sle did slept and fetch with you.
Oh,
word.
You never hung,
you never delivered in that area.
And I would hang out,
you know,
the McDonald's on vine that,
you know what I'm talking about?
Yes.
Actually I was with you a couple of times.
Yeah.
Unfortunately.
So,
um,
I remember I walked in that bathroom one time and I looked at the urinal and a dude had
just busted a huge ass nut on the urinal.
And it was the most insane thing i've ever seen in public and i
remember there was a guy next to me and i was like dude is that cum and the guy was like dude it's
cum jesus i went up to the fucking i went up to the fucking manager because this black guy who
was hilarious i remember being like hey man some guy just fucking came all over the urinal and i
remember the look of just absolute horror on this guy's face. You said came?
Yeah, dude.
I was like, there's cum all over the urinal.
You said a guy just came all over the urinal?
Why didn't you just let them find out about it naturally?
Maybe somebody, people could have peed it off throughout the day.
That McDonald's was so funny, man.
You know what's fun to like, to move.
Pee out your cum?
No, to move shit around in the urinals and toilets with your with your pee no it
was on top of the it was like over yeah it wasn't like in the piss area it was like all over up top
of the urinal it's probably like homeless cum yeah it's probably like hobos cum that same i remember
i was there late at night one time and there was a homeless guy uh falling asleep on the uh uh
fucking uh like they had these these high top kind of seats
with higher tables
and then there'd be lower
kind of booths
with the hard tables.
And these two young women,
these two young Latino women,
probably 16, 17,
were sitting at the tables
and I was sitting
at one of the tables
and this homeless guy
was asleep
and he started snoring
and then all I remember hearing
is him shitting himself
at full velocity.
And it was like full velocity.
Like it's NASA.
He's taking off.
Yeah, because the shit was hitting the floor and splashing with like an audible like.
Oh, my God.
And then it hit the floor like as if I took like a bunch of like if I took a milkshake and then threw it at the floor.
It was making that splatter sound.
And I remember the the
room was instantly filled with just a reek of shit christ and these women screamed these two these
young women they screamed and then fled them they screamed they screamed and fled them like it was
the bombing it was like it was like the beginning of children and men with that bombing that happened
like i'm half surprised it wasn't carrying their arm walking out of there. It was the worst fucking smell I've ever smelled in my life.
And it was just a crazy shit, man.
It was as if he shit
without wearing pants.
I don't know how
it got past the pants.
Like, it was hitting the floor.
I was like,
he was sitting there.
Maybe he pulled his pants.
Maybe he was just wearing his pants
and his ass was out or something.
But yeah,
I think he didn't wake up either.
Fuck me.
He was just shitting, man.
That McDonald's is wild, bro.
I'd love to go back.
Remember when we were at the Subway?
Every fast food place is completely insane.
I mean, unless they're in like a suburb, you know.
Yeah, they're crazy.
It's like a reprieve.
Do you remember we were at the Subway on Vermont
and we saw that guy get his ass kicked?
At the Red Line station there?
You don't remember that?
I've seen a million people get...
That's when we came up with Cracker Bitch.
Oh, really?
Because we were at the subway,
and we were like,
what if we walk out,
because there's a bunch of young Latino dudes
beating the shit out of this old guy.
We're like,
what if we walk out of here with our sandwiches,
and then they're like,
it gave me that sandwich, Cracker Bitch.
Cracker Bitch?
We're like, fuck,
we'd have to give these guys our sandwiches.
Joey, welcome back.
Thank you, thank you, thank you.
Should we start this new segment on the show?
Bushido Boulevard?
What is this segment, by the way?
I don't really know what we're doing here.
What is Bushido Boulevard?
I don't even know.
I'm doing a song and stuff, I guess.
Yeah, came through a song.
John, describe the bit, I guess.
All right, fuck.
We give you life advice as it relates to the Bushido Code.
So people sent in questions.
This is actually a great new segment because it allows us to do this forever
because it's just genuine life advice, but it's called Bushido Boulevard.
A bit more serious.
I posted a thing on Instagram where I said,
Hey guys, we have a new segment and submit real real life advice and a couple of bears who practice
code we'll give you our best guidance that we can we're very wise so that so that's the so is it
like can i but is the song still john centric can i still make it about yeah it's john centric
john giving you kind of samurai bushido advice. Let's try this.
Tokyo Drift.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
I wonder if you know about the fat man with eggs.
When he walk into the room, all he do is act gay and eat cake.
Fat, fat, fat
man.
With eggs.
He's gay.
When he walk into the room
he wants to fuck you in the ass.
But his dick is so tiny
they say it's in the cheeks.
It's just in the cheeks.
He's got a micro penis.
Mic, mic, mic, micropenis. He's got a micro penis. Mic, mic, mic.
He's a micro penis.
He's gay, gay, gay, gay.
Dude, that's scary, bro.
Drift your dick into my ass.
Joey's got a katana on me right now for our listeners out there.
Drift your dick into my ass.
I want to...
Drift.
The Bushido call.
He loves Bushido court He loves
Bushido court
It's the court that he lives by
Bushido court
There's a samurai sword in the room
And it's kind of intimidating
Oh, Bushido court
Bushido Boulevard
Bushido Boulevard
Yeah
I'm gonna shame you real quick, Joey.
He's gay.
Gay.
Gay.
I'm going to shame you real quick, Joey.
Your samurai sword is looking a little rusty, bud.
Yeah, that looks like shit.
You got to oil it, brother.
Your samurai sword has acne.
You got to oil it, brother.
That's the worst thing you can say to a guy like me.
I know.
Especially one under Bushido.
You're going to say dumbass. Scumbag. Welcome to a guy like me. I know. Especially one under Bushido. He does say dumbass.
Scumbag.
Welcome to the first ever episode.
Let's ask some questions.
I'm down to get some life advice.
I mean, people have seen how fun it is.
Bushido.
Both are very good.
They deserve it.
They deserve it.
Thank you so much, Devin.
Thank you.
Very good song.
He's done it again.
Another very good song.
Missed two calls from Devin.
I don't know why.
I called you
because you were
talking to Brock
fucking around upstairs
holding up the podcast.
I'll get the podcast
big diva
broadcasting diva
strikes again.
I want the comments
to run with that.
I was trying to run
a tight ship here.
Hope that becomes
a new nerd.
Okay, here's
question number one.
This is for you
and me, Joey.
Bushido.
Life advice question.
I'm 21.
How should I start saving for later in life and retirement?
Thank you, Joey and John.
You both have important opinions from Dom S.
That's true.
Okay, so first of all, if you're living by Bushido code, right,
why would you need to save money?
You should be a penniless ronin roaming the countryside.
Why don't you guys explain Bushido for a second?
Oh, very good.
Bushido is a code that is based on honor, principles,
and different things like that having integrity.
We should be abstinent from...
Well, you shouldn't have integrity
when it comes to saving your...
When it comes to saving your money,
no integrity.
Save your money.
Be frugal.
You're 21.
Relax.
Just fucking...
Also, you're 21.
You have no money.
You have no money to save.
You're going to be broke forever.
Just enjoy.
When you're 21, dude,
just enjoy your fucking life.
Dude, I was... God, dude. When you were 21? Holy holy shit brother i would we would go out you go out with 80 dollars in
your bank yeah we go i want to say this in a voice but i am 34 and i personally
and not even in bushido character i do believe that saving money and hanging on to material
possessions is kind of a cuck i was just about to say it's for cocks.
Yeah, exactly.
Now, I'm going to—
That's wrong.
They're both horrible.
Well, Otter.
Anyways—
That's Otter.
Don't do that.
When you start making any significant amount of money—
Oh, look at money bags over here.
If you don't have anything, you have nothing to lose.
Here's the thing.
Except your life, which you should always lose.
Well, don't listen to John. if you're fighting in a goddamn sword fight
if you're a ronin roaming the countryside
and then a shogun's men come after you
and your baby
I don't know if I get stabbed in my heart
what's gonna happen to my daughter
we're all getting buried with one thing
our body
if you're 21
if you're 21 and you can have at least
two or three thousand dollars
in a savings account,
you're doing great.
Get a car. You get the apartment,
you get the car. You need a car
unless you're in New York City or some
shit. And you want to give yourself about
two, three grand to give yourself a couple
months if shit hits the fan and you don't want to have to move back.
If you can't do that, get a credit card.
Don't use the credit card.
Or also, yeah, I'm a big proponent of credit cards.
I think it's kind of a bullshit industry.
I know a lot of people that have like.
Devin abused the credit card real early on.
No, I didn't.
I didn't.
Devin, you got your first credit card.
Yeah, but I didn't.
What is your credit score, Devin Costantino?
Roughly.
I have a 720.
I have a good credit score. What's average? score, Devin Costantino? Roughly. I have a good credit score.
What's average?
Average is like 650.
I have a good credit score. I'm just saying
I used credit
stupidly, but not actually.
I remember Devin walked into the apartment
and went, oh my god,
I have free money.
Free money. He doesn't
understand. I didn't think of anything at the
time and i got out of that hole but it was i'm saying for if i understood how to use credit
like if i actually needed to pay off things credits your friend i actually think yeah and
i don't think it's that big of a deal to to not be able to pay and to filing bankruptcy i know a
lot of people that uh have bought a lot of shit with credit cards,
very irresponsibly,
and they file bankruptcy and then like nothing happens years later.
So it's a fine game.
It's a fine balance.
It's a,
it's a,
there's a balance there.
It's a fine game and it's a fine balance.
Name of the segment was Bushida Boulevard,
but now it's new name.
Two Samurai in the daughter.
Yeah. So advice. Two Samurai in the Daughter. Yeah.
Can I write a question?
I got one question.
Go ahead.
So,
the homeboy,
where's this fucking guy?
Take advice from a guy that can't find your message.
Sorry, brother.
Sorry, brother.
Yeah, he really cares about you.
Take advice from me.
Don't take advice from me.
Okay.
Use your credit cards.
I'm a good... Go with Devin's advice.
Credit cards are fake.
I'm ready, cocksucker.
Anyways, I'm a good chef, fast, organized, reliable,
but I'm struggling with my current situation.
I'm about to have a fourth kid under eight.
I have a super lax job that pays just enough,
but it's boring and no room for career advancement.
How do I stay content with prioritizing my family my family broke as fuck over career success some money and
savings did i fuck up listen buddy having kids is not a fuck up it's a blessing so it's a beautiful
thing i would enjoy them as much as i possibly could and that's that's really your currency
is your children your father you probably have a lovely woman your family is your currency buddy
so like don't really but but you do need to make enough
to sustain them.
Yes.
And I wouldn't be in that position
and thinking about
how boring my job is.
I'd be thinking about like,
okay, first off,
I don't,
he said his passion.
I don't know what that is.
What is his passion?
I'm going to be honest
with you, brother man.
The chef shit.
Figure something else out.
Oh, that's not,
that's, I don't Oh, that's not fair.
I don't know.
It's tough, bro.
It's tough.
If you want to make a lot of money
and then have four kids
and be a chef,
if you're a single guy,
I understand.
Who knows what a significant other does?
And also, being a chef,
you could make 90, 100K a year.
You could get into that level.
But that's a brutal lifestyle, man.
It's a hard life,
but if you love being a chef, I get it.
And I'm sure there's a million chefs out there that have children.
I'm not going to give away his personal deeds he sent me,
but I asked Beazle about his job,
and it seems like he has actually a pretty chill chef job as far as things go.
But it sounds like he's asking this question because he's afraid
because it's almost too chill.
It's like the comma for the storm.
It's like, are they going to go out of business?
Am I going to be?
But, yeah, I don't know.
It sounds okay. If you have enough money
to sustain three children off your chef job,
you must be making...
His wife's got to be working.
What was this last point that we were saying?
Am I not fulfilling... What was this big thing?
Did I fuck up? No, you didn't
fuck up, buddy. Relax. Nobody fucks up.
You just did stuff.
There is no fuck up. You're living.
You're alive, and you have your reality in front of you.
You go home every day.
You look at those beautiful babies, and you go, I didn't fuck up.
He's prioritizing his family.
That's what he's saying.
He's prioritizing his family over his money.
And on top of that, try and do whatever else you can.
Always strive for the best and make financially responsible decisions to help your children's future.
But again, Bushido.
The only true fuck-up is dying like a coward.
Exactly.
So true Bushido code that actually says you should abandon your family, roam the countryside with a sword, and die.
So in a way, you are fucking up because you're not living true to Bushido code.
Dude, don't pull the dude.
Don't fucking knife me. Don't fucking knife me.
Okay, next question.
Next question, Joey.
One question is bad.
Not the best
question by John.
This is like, also, by the way, this is like asking
like a rehab center. Like a bunch
of people in rehab for life advice.
Yeah, it's kind of crazy.
Here's a serious one for the boys.
All right.
Oh, geez.
Holy cow.
Let me readjust my seat.
I know.
It falls, bud.
I hate that seat.
You got to lift your ass up off it so it can lift.
Yeah.
Thank you for the basic physics lesson.
Big question.
Oh.
Many of your friends are getting to a place in life
where I've always imagined I would be.
Many of his friends?
Right.
Einstein, relax.
I didn't hear what you said.
Reading a passage.
Why would it be from anybody else?
That being said,
most of them are completely retarded
and have no appreciation for what's in front of them.
What's worse, not being able to be where I want to be, being a complete failure while simultaneously maintaining a semblance of intelligence, or having what I want and being retarded?
It's a pretty vague question.
It's a really egotistical question, buddy.
Why don't you try?
So he feels like he's better than all his friends,
but he's not giving us enough information
on why he's any better than his friends.
My bad.
That's okay.
So here's the answer.
I grappled with this as well when I was like 13 years old,
where you have some impression, So here's the answer. I grappled with this as well when I was like 13 years old. Yeah.
Where you have some impression, some very dumb, foggy idea that all these happy people around you are happy because they're dumber than you.
Yeah.
That's the way to sort of... Yeah, that's good, Joey.
To glorify your misery.
Yeah.
By imbuing yourself with intelligence.
They're only really dumber than you if you prove it.
Well, the true mark of intelligence, and here's the answer,
is intelligence is having what you want in life.
So are you saying, should I get what I want in life and be retarded?
It's like, no.
Once you get what you want,
that's when you cease being retarded.
You're currently retarded.
You just got to keep working, bud.
Sorry to say this.
Also, I love you.
I'm sorry for being rude. Well, no.
I mean, I think there's a little more to that guy's question.
I think he seems like he's...
You're jaded.
Of course.
Yes, of course.
I hope he's a teenager.
Even if he's not, I'm very immature.
But he's also thinking about himself,
and maybe he doesn't know.
I don't know how old he is,
but he thinks his friends are beneath him.
But also, he's in a frustrating position
because he's kind of in the same level
and he doesn't quite know what's the difference.
But he knows there's differences.
It's an intangible difference.
He's like, they're just dumb and they don't have this.
They don't have a curiosity.
And I do.
Sounds very familiar.
But there's a lot of people out there that are with friend groups that don't have curiosity.
And you do.
And all you have to do, the only thing I would tell you, go with your curiosity and fuck
everybody that doesn't agree with you going with
your curiosity and the people that do go with you you know are your real friends yeah be happy so
then you get to drop the other people and it's like advice from drunks in the basement makes
life a lot easier so just just just uh he never said what he wanted to do but i would um go with
your instinct yeah you maybe your friends are retired go with their but but you know you got
to do something probably all of the above is true
you gotta do something for yourself too
and you can't care about who the fuck goes along with you
if they don't go along with you
they're not your friends in the first place
ultimately measure your intelligence
by how happy you are in life
stop thinking of yourself
as smart when you live as a retard
I love Joey's voice for all these.
Next question, big question.
Which UFC fighter, past or present,
would you say follows Bushido Ko the best?
From Bobby Baddows.
Who's the fucking guy?
I can think of a Japanese guy.
No, the fucking guy who literally lives his life
by the Book of Five Rings.
What's his fucking name?
I can think of 10? The Polish guy?
Do you remember?
Fuck.
Somebody said they lived by the Book of Five Rings.
Yes.
I've heard ten fighters say that.
Hold on. Keep talking, Joey.
Sorry.
John!
Unaware of the name of the Polack fighter.
I don't know who you guys are talking about, so.
Was it Jerry?
Jerry.
Yep.
Yep.
Okay, so he found a noose in the forest and a man hanging from it.
And there's like an old Polish urban legend that if you find somebody hanging,
you have to keep the noose with you for the rest of your life.
Dude, don't give me this lore, bro.
You didn't know that?
No, dude.
I thought that's why you brought it up.
I saw his pre-fight thing
where he was talking about how he loves the Book of Five Rings
and he's a samurai knot and goes in ice baths
every morning and wears a kimono.
I didn't know he was keep talking, bro.
Does he have the noose?
Does he wear it, dude?
No, he doesn't wear it. He brings it with him. He
sets it on like a...
Bro! Yeah.
Bro!
Oh, my God.
What a king.
Holy shit. What was the point?
What was the point?
What's your point for his...
Oh, okay. So that's
your pick. My pick was George St. Pierre UFC fighters, yeah, new question. Oh, okay, so that's your pick.
My pick was George St. Pierre.
Yeah, yeah, strong pick.
All right.
Next question, real one this time.
Gay Otter Devin offended that he couldn't contribute to the last question
because he doesn't watch UFC.
Yeah.
Bears. And Otter. I should make a citizen watch UFC. Bears!
And Otter.
I turn 21 next weekend.
Sorry.
Never really drank before.
What's a good formula for having fun,
but not quite getting to the extent of threatening domestic terrorism?
Jeopardy.
So he's doing a goof
without my goofs. Yeah, that's funny.
So I guess he's saying, how do I have fun without getting
blackout drunk? Have your friends
buy you, you know, they'll
probably buy you some shots and some drinks.
They'll probably try and get you blackout drunk.
Yeah, you should get blackout drunk. And you probably just should.
Yeah, just get blackout drunk. It's fun. You'll feel
like you'll have like a crazy,
there'll be like an hour period where like, holy never my brain is i don't even know and then you'll feel like utter
shit the next day but like it you're young and you won't actually feel as shit yeah it's crazy
hangovers didn't exist and it doesn't really happen and so then you just move right on with
your day and then yeah if you're not an alcoholic you're not gonna like wake up the next day like
it's crack and like need to go get a bottle
or go drink. You'll be fine and time will
move on.
You'll start naturally drinking like a person
does or you won't. You don't like it and that's fine.
Smoke weed, whatever. Do nothing.
You'll be fine. Stay away from coke.
Just kind of let your friends
monitor it unless you don't trust your friends.
What the great samurai
would say about this't trust your friends. Yeah. What the great samurai would say about this
is
do your duty,
commit your
servitude,
complete your
job, and then black all the way out.
Yep. Well, that's what Joey would
say. No, that's Bushido code.
That's a fact. That's blackout
Bushido. Actually, Bushido samurai used to that's blackout bushido actually bushido samurai
used to go and black out before the night of the big war you'd know about that 13 assassins that's
actually it's actually a lot of warrior societies would do that because it would uh you have to wake
up early in the morning to piss it would it was like a nature's alarm clock it wouldn't it wouldn't
fuck them up and being like hung over for big fight? Dude, they're fucking literally like savages.
Yeah, I get it.
Maybe they're not even thinking about how bad they feel.
Yeah, there's no pain in the good shape for a fucking...
Maybe that's why they're not around anymore.
They're probably terrified, too, because they might die the next day.
So probably getting drunk is a good idea.
Yeah, I get that.
It's also a way to practice non-attachment.
All right. And that's why I black out. I'm doing that. It's Bushido practice non-attachment. Mm-hmm. All right.
Yeah.
And that's why I black out.
I'm doing that.
It's Bushido.
Non-attachment.
Don't listen to Joey, kid.
I black out because I'm practicing non-attachment.
Don't listen to Joey, kid.
Next question.
Okay.
Yeah.
Go.
Let me give Devin the sword.
Hell yeah, brother.
The Ninjaku is regarded as one of the most brutally devastating close quarters weapons of the Shinobi.
Arbusaku.
But it's practically just an ancient double dildo.
And therefore could be the gayest weapon of all time.
Do you guys agree?
And does John prefer his nunchucks to be ribbed or dotted from Ben?
Nunchucks.
From Ben?
Baseman?
I don't think so.
Oh.
My name's Ben.
I'm going to be honest with you.
I didn't know nunchucks
were actually used
I thought that was like
a movie thing so
so did you shove them
up your ass
no
no I uh
uh
no
uh but uh
yeah I mean the coolest
there's like
dude have you seen those
fucking samurai swords
they're meant to be
used on horseback
next
question
huge
hello I'm 30 years old oh Horseback. Next question. Hello, Bushida Boulevard.
I'm 30 years old.
Oh.
And I've been in a relationship for around seven years.
Good for you.
Wow.
I know how to make her cum regularly.
Okay.
Okay, bud.
And we microdose mushrooms to turn up the heat for the last couple of years.
All right, we'll save some pussy for the rest of us.
Sexually or like
relationship wise though?
It could be sparking up new
ideals about each other.
Shut up Otter. Alright, continue.
Aphrodisiac I meant.
You know, everyone needs
some left brain
thinking on this. If John and Joey just want to tell you
to buy an RPG
and get a helmet.
Devin the Otter wants to tell you to save up
and buy a place.
He's a gay otter.
Okay, next question.
If I could finish.
Yeah, finish.
I'm early 30s and I've been in a relationship
for around 7 years
I know how to make a gun regularly
and we microdose mushrooms to turn up the heat
the last couple of years
But, how do you keep things fresh?
I find myself
going through my set like an old timey comic
that never creates new material
And don't say roleplay
Also,
Joey, you're one of the funniest
podcasters of all time alongside
Devin and Chase.
You guys are a few
episodes away. Where's John? No mention of John.
No mention of John.
You guys are a few episodes
away from John.
There's John. From John being
able to afford to service this car, I can feel it.
So how does he keep...
So the question was, he wants to spice up his sex life with the wife.
What does this have to do with Bushido, bro?
Why did you think this is the right question?
I said just general life.
Just life advice, John.
And then we're going to respond.
It doesn't have to be like Japanese centric.
Our advice back is Japanese.
Let Devin go first, and then we'll do the Japanese.
I get what he's saying.
I get what he's saying.
I think if you really love the person, that's all that matters.
So the whole sex, I mean, sex is so one-dimensional,
and it's not what you should be basing like,
oh, the spark's over because we're not coming right.
I get that it's
a huge deal but if you're still having good sex and it's fine and you're coming and it feels nice
and you can you guys you know how to spice it up you know what the fucking things to do are or what
if she's okay with that or you know whatever other than that it's like yeah get used to that because
if you love the person you're with and you're going to be with them for the rest of your life,
like, you're not going to be having, like,
wild porn star sex forever.
And you're going to have to figure some other things out.
But I imagine that you know how to
because you love that person.
And so it's...
Very good.
Devin Costa.
It's verbatim, you know, ditto.
What Devin just said.
Sean gives his answer as well.
Now let me respond
for
Samurai Bushido Code.
Samurai just
fucking, dude.
What is your response, Joey? What is your
advice? You can drop the voice
to give realistic advice.
It doesn't seem like you can give real advice
with that voice.
The real me can't give advice on this.
Why?
People would love to hear your opinion.
The real me actually will give advice, but it's in this voice.
Your opinion's like, start a podcast and then answer DMs.
How dare you?
Well, Devin's advice is just be funny on Twitter.
That wasn't a shot Twitter that wasn't a shot
I'm just saying
actually that is good advice
okay so I'm going to go back to the pursuit of the voice
people want your advice too
you're a smart person
express yourself and be funny and publicly
if you're funny try to be funny in front of as many
people as you can
and hopefully you can try to get a little sex
that's not this guy. He listens to
us to get that out. He's obviously a
regular person that doesn't...
He's not a... This guy wasn't asking
you about how to get a bunch of pussy. He was saying, how do I
keep it? With my current life, how do I
keep the sex? Yeah, so imagine you're
30 with
a woman you love for seven years
and the sex isn't
that interesting anymore.
But it's like that's like.
Sounds like they're having exciting sex, dude.
It sounds like you guys are fine.
Microdosing and cumming.
It sounds great.
Relax.
If you guys are microdosing together and shit, it's like you know how to spice it up.
You go fucking go on a trip.
You go on a trip.
You go to new places.
You fucking.
Ask her what she wants you to do.
You know, try a new dumbass restaurant.
And then go shit on it together.
Whisper horrible things in her ear while you're fucking her, you know. Just get crazy. Find a new dumbass restaurant and then go shit on it together. Whisper horrible things in her ear
while you're fucking her.
Find a new show.
It's also like
sort of the equivalent
to a Disney fairy tale
where everyone has this new
romanticized idea about love.
It's the same thing with sex
where it's like,
listen, let's face the fact.
You're going to meet.
You're going to have some good sex.
You're going to have a lot of bad sex.
For a long time, you're not going to fuck at all.
Yes.
But you love each other.
Exactly.
And you get comfortable.
There's going to be many periods in your life
where different chemicals are being released into your brain
and you maybe aren't into the same thing
that you thought you're supposed to be into in life.
Not sex, just everything.
Like, there's, you know, you're really, you're in control of yourself,
but at the same time, it's like, you gotta
go with how your brain is. Thank you so much.
And that's the same with your superior.
Your superior is also experiencing
life, and they are just
a, they are simply a
host on a planet. The correct
answer is,
the correct answer is,
making your wife come is a duty.
You're doing it.
It's a duty, and according to Samurai...
Sounds like you do it.
So, fucking, what does she want?
I mean, fucking, tell her to fucking do something, too.
Well, keep figuring it out.
It's a constant journey,
and if you don't,
welcome to hell, brother.
Very good, very good,, brother. Very good. Very good.
Very good.
Next question.
I'm in my early 20s
and one of my closest friends
who's my same age
doesn't have his license
and slowly,
no motivation to accomplish anything.
Is there a way I can still honor
the friendship
or should I part ways with him?
This is just a guy that's upset.
A guy upset his friend doesn't have a driver's
license and he hasn't gotten rides.
It's a kid that's upset that
he's the one driving all the time.
And his friend hasn't gotten his license yet.
Wow, sounds really fucking familiar, huh?
Devin's all pissed off.
He's like, this guy's a cocksucker.
He just says he's gonna abandon his buddy cause he won't give him rides
John's a ridiculous human being he won't give him rides
how dare this man abandon his buddy cause he
won't give him rides listen kid don't listen to that
I had a car at the same time I just
chose to be like well you want
Devin doesn't have a car he's got an RC car
that doesn't work I chose to tell
John well you know you like snacks
you go to the snack place and you can drive
me this is a 10-year-old argument.
This guy, obviously,
like, has a friend
that, like,
hasn't gotten
his driver's license.
I don't know where they live.
Don't hang out with losers.
Don't hang out with,
yeah, after a while,
if a guy's, like,
not doing anything for you,
fucking, you gotta...
But you're 21, relax.
Start fading away.
It's a childhood friend,
so he's basically saying,
like, do I keep hanging on
or what do I say to him? You hang on on? What do I say to him?
You hang on.
What can he say to him to get him off?
You do it mildly.
That's what you do.
You don't make a big thing where there's a night where you bring it up.
You don't bring it up in an obvious way.
What you do is you make little jabs here and there.
You say, maybe if you could drive.
Maybe if you could drive.
That's what we would do. Maybe if you would drive, you do that here and there. And then like, if you, you know, maybe if you could drive, maybe if you could drive, you know,
like maybe if you would drive,
you do that here and there
and then you go live
your fucking life
and then he like stays a loser
and you fucking move on
and you still,
you still,
you come back home
and you let,
you have a beer with him,
whatever,
you know.
Yeah.
Very good.
Next question.
Dear Joseph and John,
I've listened to every episode of Hey Watch.
Wow.
Thank you.
And the Patreon episodes.
Oh, good job.
Shout out to Devin for showing the videos for the $5 tier.
Good, good, good.
That sounds like a great little deal.
I don't know about that.
I'm a man of the people.
Maybe you guys don't know that $5 videos are on Patreon.
Only five smackaroos is the same as the audio.
You get both.
I'm not Ben Avery over it.
Seeming like Billy Mays.
Who's much smarter than me, and I never thought I should do that, but I would have done it, but it's already done.
Ben, video by five.
Yeah, and it's a smart idea.
Very good. Ben is very smart about producing.
Who would have guessed? I don't have respect for myself.
What an out of left field comedy.
So I started it. Everything's on the main
basic level. I'll probably never change it.
Anyways, I was wondering
if John could identify
the specific moment
of his life
where it all went wrong for him.
Basically,
I'm trying to understand
what led to him
becoming a bartender
for a homeless tweaker
in a train station.
Okay, John.
Please let me know
as I am in college right now
trying to avoid
going down a similar path
as a gay...
You know, I love this voice.
I love it.
That's quite rude. Let me stun you real quick, buddy. You're in college.
I hope you experiment a lot with your roommates
and you lick a lot of buttholes.
Here's
the thing. If it's going to go wrong
for everybody,
you're going to fucking... I worked at a dog
crematorium.
He wants to know what went wrong for me.
Oh,
to work at a,
yeah.
That's,
uh,
you know,
I,
I can answer that.
Oh yeah.
Pandemic buddy.
The pandemic happened.
I need a fucking job.
Yeah.
The pandemic is his
personal decisions too.
Oh yeah.
No.
Well,
you know,
it's just,
uh,
when it's not a
shotgun milkshake.
Service industry,
service industry is basically
if you don't have a college degree,
you just fucking gradually evolve into it
and then eventually get a real estate license
or some bullshit.
But you know what?
I got a podcast.
You're sending me questions, fucko,
so suck my dick.
The only thing I'll say, I guess,
is that you...
Also, John is not the person to be like,
oh, that's a normal figure that's
living like oh i would be that like john has his own separate brain oh yeah and john likes to put
himself in situations that most people wouldn't so like anybody that would be john there they
wouldn't be working at the bar he works at he chooses to work there and he's stayed because
he's gotten caught up in it but he also likes john is a romantic fuck and he likes stayed because he's gotten caught up in it. But he also likes, John is a romantic fuck
and he likes the charm of that place
and the weird people that come in.
And he loves his bosses.
And I get that.
But yeah, John also, he looks at it
like he's traveling the country.
His backpacking through Europe
is having a job at that shitty transportation.
A lot of decisions I made have led me down dark paths.
There's a lot of other decisions I made
that led me down gray paths. And I'm kind of other decisions I made that maybe led me down gray paths.
And I'm kind of wild and crazy guy
and this is what I do. Yeah. That was a mean
question, whoever that was. Yeah, it wasn't mean.
It was a good, it was a good question. No, he was being a little
cocksucker. Even a cocksucker.
He was. And I should start vetting
these. That actually was not vetted. I just started
grabbing it. I don't think he's being a cocksucker. Honestly,
I'm not even trying to defend a listener that possibly
pays us. I'm trying to say, I'm trying to say that, like, I think he's listening a cocksucker. Honestly, I'm not even trying to defend a listener that possibly pays us. I'm trying to say that I think he's listening to the show
and based on the things he's getting out of the jokes we make,
he thinks that's a comfortable thing to say
because we're so blatant about making fun of John for that.
So he's thinking like us, and I get it.
I totally get that.
I felt the exact same way when I was that age
where it's like you sit there and
in your cozy
little like I have never failed
at anything yet. You know
hive. You're like oh gosh let me
just you know be like oh no
what's going to happen if I fail at this.
It's what you
realize is that
there's no such thing. No there's no such
thing dude. There's fucking 70-year-old
people that are trying to apply at Walmart
right now to work the door.
There's no shame in any
menial job. Also, go ahead
and achieve all of your dreams.
You're going to end up exactly right back
where you are now.
You have no idea what you're going to experience
tomorrow.
I got a buddy who walked in on his dad after that shot himself in the head like crazy you don't know what anyone's
going through you know so like just just uh it's it's it's not like a um it's not a failure to have
a normal fucking job working somewhere at all for a period of time or for until you're figuring out
whatever you want to do it's like not all. And you're just like everybody else.
And by the way,
even making it,
nothing matters.
Nobody's happy.
Nobody making it's happier than you.
Your happiness is your own decision.
I'm pretty happy right now.
Last question,
kind of a serious one.
We've already gone down a weird path,
so I'm not going to hold back.
No weird path.
This is good.
I like this.
I like this shit.
Serious question for Bushida Boulevard.
I think the questions don't come off serious enough
because of the voice.
I think we're...
Ignore the voice.
Take it down hard.
Listen to Devin's voice on the answer.
I don't like that Joey's not giving any honest advice, too.
I gave a couple.
You gave a couple.
I'll do one on this.
Should you ever compromise on your goals?
And is accepting mediocrity okay from Joshua?
That's so vague, though. That's so vague yeah so vague what do you mean though
like don't compromise would be easy on yourself you should compromise on your goals if they're
like insane and and you tried and you got maybe kind of close and it didn't happen and but it's
like well you have a loved one maybe you're gonna have a kid yeah you should at some point make you should at some point be
like okay early 30s you should you should be like you you should compromise if it's really
ridiculous and you can be happy in another route if you find if you feel like if you feel like
you'd be miserable not pursuing the i imagine creative, creative or, you know, whatever, personal, independent
endeavor, then go along with it. But if it's hurting your life and you do have to be honest
with yourself at a certain point and also look to your loved ones that you're also trying to help
and provide for and be like, well, you know, I also do this other thing and I can make more
money at it. And yeah, you should compromise at a certain point because it's just if doing your goals is keeping
you from the people you love say you're like a caretaker for your parent or a grandparent or
you know or you have a kid and that person's looking out for you for support and care and
you're like you know going to open mics every night and like ruining their lives we know a lot
i know a lot of guys that like won't stop being bad at comedy and they're in their
40s. They have kids and a wife
and it's like, that's insane.
They're insane people.
Compromise on goals
and accepting me as a rookie.
Whoever you are.
It's a fun question in the first place because
compromising your goal.
Your goal should not be
a static goal. Your goal should be
changing dynamically as you age
and become more wise.
Your goals evolve.
So you're not compromising on
one goal. You're compromising
the destination itself.
That's the push you say.
And that's the last question.
That was it?
I think so.
Did you get any? I just got that one. I have to say. That was it? Yeah. I think so. Well, let me check.
Did you get any?
I just got that one.
I always have people direct questions to Joey.
All right.
Maybe I...
Did I get any?
I reposted it, but I don't think anyone respects me.
We've been telling people, like, send them to me also.
Yeah, yeah, that's true.
It did say send to you. Here people, like, send them to me also. Yeah, yeah, that's true. It did say send to you.
Here's, like, a weird one.
Me and my friends are working on your care package.
However, seeing as Devin consumes more semen than the average porn star,
we're still busy milking ourselves.
From Enzo in Holland.
Nice.
Oh, Enzo.
What's up, brother?
Love you, Enzo.
How you doing in Holland?
You fucking...
What do they do in Holland? They fucking pet cats
and smoke weed? Holland?
Yeah, they love tulips and
orange things and...
They're kickboxing and buying weed
from the red light district.
Let's be real here. They're not all kickboxing, but yes.
So those are all the questions, Joey?
Give me one more.
Bushido Boulevard.
I am Bushido Boulevard. I am Bushido Boulevard.
That's Bushido Boulevard, Jack.
I am Bushido Boulevard.
Is that it, Joey?
I think that's it.
That's it.
Doesn't seem like you're
having a problem.
Yeah, Joey's like,
Joey's like Darth Vader
over here.
Was I breathing loud
into the mic?
No, no, you're just,
we don't know what's going on.
I'm reading on my phone now.
You're sort of like mumbling and muttering.
I didn't mumble.
I was very coherent.
I don't know what's going on.
Joey's turning into like a crab.
He's got horse mouth.
Joey's turning into a horse mouth.
Joey's got horse mouth.
He's got horse mouth at the same time.
The first time I heard that term, Brock called me.
He goes, Joey's getting horse mouth, you know.
Yep.
Sweet Kayla, my sweet little baby,'s getting horse mouth you know yep turns out my sweet little baby
calls it horse mouth turn into a you turn into like a crack baby yeah you're just
no it's like i know i'm like tired i'm expressing it has nothing to do with exhaustion
you're a little baby man it's like if you made yourself tired with a big bottle
you're a little milk like a little baby. Yeah, a little baby.
Well, you're Joey.
You're my favorite little baby.
Joey drinking IPA milk.
Joey's drinking IPA. Oh, my God.
How many more questions we got, Joseph?
How many more questions we got?
Do you know this song?
No. I don't want to do another song.
My song, you guys didn't even react. It was like a disaster today.
I was dancing.
I had a sword.
Joey liked it with the sword.
My song was a disaster.
Well, it was the sword pointed at me kind of threw me off because that was getting real close.
I just kept thinking about the thing running through me.
I had a good first line, but I didn't have much of it.
He's gay.
Gay.
Gay.
He's gay.
Is that it, Joey?
That's it, Joe.
Sounds like a good thing. Let's wrap it Joey? That's it, Joe. Sounds like they said.
Let's wrap it up.
John Badman on Instagram.
Joey R. LaFleur on Instagram.
Devin James Cost on Instagram.
Support the show.
Patreon.com slash hatewatchpodcast, I think.
Oh, my God.
I don't know.
It's in the fucking description.
Fucking go to our link tree
Cock suckers
It's the easiest thing to find
We love them
If you already follow us
So thank you so much
We love you
Beautiful babies
I see
I went on the reddit today
And I remember last time I checked
It was at like 300 subscribers
Now it's at like 500
Go to the reddit on this
Go to the reddit
Real quick
Yeah the reddit
Go to the reddit
What is the reddit
Um Hate watch pod Reddit hate watch Pod Yeah, the Reddit. Go to the Reddit. What is the Reddit?
Hate Watch Pod.
Reddit, Hate Watch Pod.
Can't get out of the voice.
Jerry's going to be ordering Italian food tonight going,
I'll take a lasagna.
I'll have fruit.
Almost done with Spotify catalog.
I work alone in a rehab facility. I'm almost done with a free catalog. Great
podcast. Closing
thoughts. Is Devin short?
I'm like 5'10",
I guess. You're 5'10",
bullshit. I'm 6'2".
I'm taller than
Joey, I think.
Patreon archives are
well worth it. I'm the tallest one here. People have asked me
questions. I'm the strongest. You are the strongest. I am. I'm the second one here People have asked me questions I'm the strongest
You are the strongest
I am
I'm the second strongest
You're the tallest
I'm the strongest
This is a little odd
But here's really the main
The main post is that people
We need Devin's PRs dude
People are watching John at work
Yeah
You know
Whatever
I deal with way crazy stuff
Yeah go see him
It's like you know
Go see me but you know
I'm not like mad
You're taking sneaky photos
just say hi to me
like it would make my day
yeah go talk to him
he'd love it
you might get a free beer
out of me
and if I'm
you know I go there
once a month probably
and he might
you might catch me
sometimes Devin's there
and Joey's there
at the same time
and they're getting
in race arguments
with my customers
and it's crazy
I've gotten in a lot
of battles with people there
Devin can go to bars
and just not get in a battle
should we tell the one race story that Devin did no it's not worth it I and it's crazy. I've gotten in a lot of battles with people there. Yeah, Devin can go to bars and just not get in a battle. Should we tell the one race story that Devin did?
No, it's not worth it.
I think it's funny.
No, but nothing happened.
Nothing happened.
Nobody did anything.
I have a video of Great Larez.
It's just a crazy person.
It was just a crazy person.
Somebody popped off too hard.
I know, it was like a sassy Missy Elliott kind of.
Jesus, Joey.
Let's wrap it up. Let's wrap it up.
We love you guys.
Have a good night.
I wanted to keep going like always.
Joey's just scraping the bottom of the barrel.
I miss...
Sorry, guys.
Sorry.
I wanted to keep going.
Love you, guys.