Hate Watch with Devan Costa - Death by Crabwalk

Episode Date: July 29, 2024

Devan plays a few awful songs from his old rap mixtape, Jordan Peterson warns of trans people hiding in your home, Austin serial killer strikes again https://www.patreon.com/HateWatchPodcast

It's good to be in something from the ground floor. I came too late for that. I know But lately I'm getting the feeling that I came in at the end The best is over Many Americans I think feel that way. No, no Devin Devin's about to play us some rap songs He made when he was 15. You guys really? Yeah, I was uh like 17 or 18 years old. Oh, that's unforgivable. Oh, that's not so you were 19 No, I don't know man. I'm a little nervous about this there. Here's the thing I Don't know how to I don't know how to do anything. I wasn't trying to be a wigger or whatever the fuck

I just you were just are yeah, I or whatever the fuck. I just- You were trying, you just were. You just are, yeah. Well, no, I loved hip hop, but I was like, I like being funny, but I was afraid to go out and do- When I first met you. Rapping, you could just sit in, so I did it in front of my MacBook Pro. I was like 18 years old. Yeah?

So, but I don't know. So way too old to be doing this. I have no musical ability really. You're a great singer. You're actually, that's bullshit, yeah. Okay, but like I have no, I don't know, I don't rap or anything like that. Yeah, you do, I've seen you do it.

It's just embarrassing to do it with a straight face. Okay, but this is, they were trying to be jokes. I was trying to be a con, don't take this sincerely. None of them were sincere. No, I wasn't trying to be like, yo, people are gonna respect me. No, no, no, you're pacing around and being like, be rabbit. We'll be able to tell.

If you're doing a parody, we'll be able to tell. Okay, so there was a song called Look Out For Detox that Kendrick Lamar made in like 2011. Yes. Okay. So I guess I was actually, I was 18. I was 18 years old. 19. I was 30. I was 35 years old. You're 19.

All right, so this is it. It's from the future. God, I fucking. Is this the Viddie Paws one? You guys need to bring embarrassing stuff too though. Okay, yeah, for sure. As time goes on. My whole fucking life is embarrassing.

All right, that's true. I brought the fucking. You've already done it. I brought the heat, fellas. You exist, so that's- I've admitted to it very- Joey, do you have any old embarrassing stuff? Probably, I'd have to dig it up.

Oh, Connor. The monkey photo. I'll bring my first standup set. We can do like that. We can watch that. All right, all right. Cause if I do this, this is a lot. And there's a lot more.

Oh, I just thought of one from old footage that somebody got of me doing standup that's very bad. Oh, yeah. I made a seven minute Jedi mind trick style song. I'm trying to be funny in it. Like I'm not taking myself seriously I don't know you know I like about this is because you're trying to convince us too hard that you're trying to be funny You wouldn't have we would even know we go. Oh, this is hilarious. Yeah, it's already back paddling alright

I'm gonna play the look after detox. Yeah, oh no is there a video no no let's make one I wish there was yeah, let's make a music god my voice. I immediately hate myself Let's make one. God. I wish there was yeah, let's make a music god my voice. I immediately hate myself Pro on my couch at 3 a.m. While my parents are asleep in the next room Upstairs hearing every word god damn it. I fucking hate my son. I erased the fucking Wigger, God damn it. So at the time. Why couldn't he just be trans? Why couldn't he be trans? They said, they said, gay son or thought daughter,

I never thought I'd get Wigger's son. You shit-o-fucking bullshit. So at the time I was holding a sign, that was my job. It was a sign holder. Yeah, it was awesome. Did the sign say, I make embarrassing rap? Comedy rap. I was a sign holder. Yeah, that was awesome. And uh- Can the sign say, I make embarrassing rap? Comedy rap.

He's spinning around. Trying to be comedic rap. I wasn't- Shut up! No! I didn't think I actually had a talent. No, no. Oh, that's why you made a whole fucking seven minute song.

No, no, I'm not playing a seven minute song. All right, we'll hear it eventually. You guys will hear that later. Is that the most embarrassing? Let's start from, I guess we're a seven minute song. All right, we'll hear it eventually. You guys will hear that later. Is that the most embarrassing? Let's start from, I guess we're gonna start with the least embarrassing one. How long is this song? It's like, this is the shortest one,

so I think I should play it. What is it, five minutes long? It's like a minute and a half. Look out for detox is not very long. All right, all right, all right, you guys ready? I'm so ready. I don't think I'll ever be ready for this. Oh, fuck.

Oh, I love this. All right, here we go. Yo, shout out to Kendrick love this. All right here we go All right, yeah, you're trying to be funny you turn it up turn it up. Yeah, I don't know no yeah I 59 74 hold a sign shit's divine no I'm a little cold that's windchill I will kill any motherfucker who be in my way when I'm trying to get a free house water from Starbucks and Girl Scout troops Wanna guilt me get the fuck out of my way Busted the door before the turkey done, but the piece big point that last line has to do with crystal story You step to me shit's finna get gory.

Look at my shirt, Nutella on it. You'll probably come off that. I'm back with the callin' 2010 graduate SF. I get high and listen to power, Kanye West. In your face like, hey, it's me in HD. All my shots go boom like loud fakes. S-U-C-K-D-I-C-K-P-L-E-A-S-E. Spirit, someone please suck my dick.

Tell the government, come shoot me. I'll hold the trigger. Bust your father with celli-state evermine. Let's not break from the fact that I have it. Here at I don't care about your point system sport. Chalet or various frozen yogurt stores. Just Fuck you You record that oh Yeah, baby, I did Stop it. Thank you made up fictional black mom This is bad

I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry You record that? Oh yeah baby, I did. Oh no. You gonna be a star, baby. Thank you, made up fictional black mom. Keep that going. This is bad. Your support speaks volumes. And then I did a black lady joke. Yeah.

There he had. Yeah. Oh. No, Devin Costa. I will say though, the damn otter, where'd you find this? I mean, I never released it. I just showed it to a couple friends and a couple of them thought it was amusing at the doctor

You were you were trying to be funny for sure Yeah, I knew I couldn't I don't know how to read you didn't lean far enough into being funny You were trying to get Eminem funny. That's the hardest thing. That's the worst thing about it I know you were essentially Hobson for a second you embodied Hobson I haven't loved Hobson. Hey, I'm but I. Yeah, but I'm willing to fucking fall on the sword. You had white contacts in as you recorded this. There's a lot more. He's doing K-Flo.

The most embarrassing part about it is that the jokes are like not funny enough. They're pretty bad jokes. Yeah. I was hoping. It's all about like, I hold a sign. Yeah, yeah. Aren't I gay?

But I got Nutella on my shirt because I'm a loser. Like, you know. Water cups from Starbucks. Yeah. Well, that gay? I got no tella on my shirt cuz I'm a loser like I'll you know water cups from Starbucks Yeah, well guess cuz I don't know how to write rap lyrics Well, you know how to write jokes. Yeah, it just wasn't showing in this you missed you missed in two directions actually I was really hoping that it wasn't gonna be as As big of an attempt to be funny. I was hoping you can you play one where you weren't trying to be funny? No, no, let's save it, let's save it for Jock.

Come on. They're all essentially trying to be funny, but like, we're gonna save these for Jock. Do you wanna hear a minute of the seven minute song? I really do. Can you skip to a part that you're not trying to be funny? Like the least funny attempt. Cause I wanna hear you try to be like a little bit of like,

oh, I actually thought I was kind of rapping good. You're breaking this otter on the wheel right now. It's all right. All right, okay new Devon I made one song that was genuinely the whole thing. I'm making fun of like One Direction I didn't even remember that. I had no clue. I found this the other day Oh, no, I made I did One Direction like I'm a boy band. Okay, so I was also like John John Lajoie I love John Lajoie or whatever. I loved that those guys but I was like I have no musical talent I really can't do this All right. This is the Vinnie Paz Jedi mind tricks

Jesus Christ and I named it apparently I named it nah mean oh No, you're like look at God. I named it Nah Mean. Oh no. You're like, look at God. I named it N A H all capitals Mean. Already embarrassing. Already so embarrassing. I should be killed. The file name is embarrassing. That's God awful.

Oh no. No. No. No. No. Dogshit, dog dog. No. Gains on the beat. All I have is a pen and a pen and a pen. I got no snare in my headphones All you have is a pen and a pad All I have is a pen and a pad and a pad

You were trying different flows. That's that's lovely. I was bored and I thought I should die Yeah, I was like I should just be good. This is like a year before we met. You're like I should be killed by the government Should I keep playing? Yeah. I suck it! What are you thinking? You psycho! Bro, this one is not even a Captain B buddy. His fourth quarter fails, go make D-Way leave the gang like Edward Fern. Take another hit from the bong and sing along. I don't know, I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.

I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.

I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. Take another hit from the bong and sing along Uh, uh I don't know

Holy shit I think I showed one of these to Mark one time I was like, you think I could do this? And he was like, it sucks That's so mean Yeah, me and my friends made rap songs when we were like 16 But they were so over the top jokes We made a whole song about fucking our friend's but they were so over the top jokes. Yeah.

We made a whole song about fucking our friend's dad. I was trying to figure, That's sick. I was trying to figure myself out. Full track on Patreon. Yeah. That'll be jock week. No, well let's get that on the regular tier.

I mean the only one that is genuinely comedic is I made this like one direction thing. I don't wanna hear you be funny. We'll save that. It's not really funny, it kinda still sucks. I'm sure it sucks a little bit. But I'm calling them fags the whole song, so it's like a lot better.

Very good. Yeah, I don't wanna hear you be even kinda funny. I'm gonna play it right now, just to get the taste out of our mouths. Hold on, it will suck. Here's what I think right now, this is my conspiracy. Devin actually thinks these are good songs. He's like, let me play one more.

Hold on, hold on, I'm getting to it. Relax, I'm getting to the good one. No, forget it. Boy, that sucks. That last one was brutal. That was really, really awful. That goes on for seven minutes long. I wanna get the full thing.

Please send it to me if you don't post it. Send it to you? Seven minutes long. I'm gonna bring a Beats pill to the gym, and I'm gonna blast. Seven minutes long, man. gonna bring a Beats pill to the gym and I'm gonna blast. Seven minutes long, man. Devin Coste originals. I got a pen and a pad.

Life goes up and down and round and round and that's what Bill Hicks taught me. And there was certain periods of time where I was very confused and had no idea what to do with my life. And I was like, I'm funny, I think. But like, I also love these damn blacks that rap. I love white guys that do it too.

Here, so here's the thing. I did rap songs with my friends. They were intentionally funny. But this is embarrassing. I thought, like I'd listen to them make joke raps and in the back of my head I was like, but I could actually do this shit. That's what that was. I was like was like but I could actually do this shit like that's what that was I was like I think I could actually do this yeah and I saw and I started I just had like a fucking you know a little notebook and I was writing rap lyrics out in school and somebody found them and they were really embarrassing they made no fucking sense it's about how I make girls come I was like a virgin I'd like bars that were about like how I'm so hot that I'm making dudes wanna fuck me.

Yeah. It was insane. And it's actually, that's actually avant garde. It's like Roman Empire. Dude, I don't know what, and my friends found it and it was like the worst day of my fucking life. Oh no. I mean, weren't you fucking like, didn't you,

like weren't you in a tagging gang and your name was? Oh, yeah, you're trying to fucking bury me now, huh? Weren't you in a gang that used to do graffiti? Wasn't your name? I feel like I've had to talk to you. I'll tell, I'll reveal my name. No, I'm gonna do it right now.

No, I'll reveal my fucking name. Your name was Lust. Yeah, I used to tag Lust. Oh, no. You gay fuck. Fuck you. Fuck you. That's actually sick. I like that, that's cool as hell.

Hey Devin, you're not gay. Conor is. Conor sucks ass, dude! What'd you fucking make rap songs to? You white queer? Dude, between, between- You're white queer. I'm a cracker queer. I'm a cracker bitch. No, between fucking writing rap lyrics about dudes wanna fuck me and my tag name being Lust, I don't know what-

That's actually really sick. Colligwina shit I had in my brain at 13 and 14 years old, but yeah dude, real devious. Yeah, it's a tag, sorry, all right? But I ran around with like actual dudes who tagged. All right. That's cool, I think that's very sick. I ran around with rappers, you know?

Yeah. You had a bossy. I made that song after Kendrick Lamar retweeted me, so I was like, I think I got like Dude, that's dangerous. That's dangerous motivation. He retweeted you Yeah, Kendrick Lamar retweeted me in 20. He did like an impression video of like all the guys in TD I mean, no I drove when you're on the front porch. Yeah, that was great Kendrick retweeted it Absoll retweeted it and then J rock retweeted it, and then J-Rock retweeted it,

and then I was like this fat white kid, and I was like, dude, I'm the fucking king of LA. Absoll's the best guy. I gotta like get into hip hop. That's so funny, dude. That's lovely. That's, I think that would fuck me too. I hope people appreciate the fact that I'm willing to,

that's a different guy. I don't think they're gonna back to that. Granted, I've been buying, no, I bought. I don't think it's a different guy at No, I don't think it's a different guy. No, it's not cuz I recently just paid money for a studio I'm getting I'm getting back into it We should do a hey hey watch rap song all of us together, you know, yeah, we fun let's do it I think we should do like a Backstreet Boys thing. Let's do both. Yeah, let's put out an album Let's for both. Yeah. Let's put out an album. Yes, dude. Let's for a $3,000 tier, let's put out a pop album, a boy band album,

a rap album, and then we also release a calendar. I'm down. I'll get naked as shit. Dude, actually that should be some of the merch. It should be a John Knopf calendar. I would love to take, I will have a boudoir calendar made. I missed you guys all week. Dude, itoudoir calendar in it me I missed you guys

dude it was fucked up I haven't seen you guys in how many days eight days eight days in the eight ebb and sober for eight days yeah yeah I missed you no I saw you Johnny yeah we saw each other yeah no what do we do we saw a movie right we saw twisters twisters kick ass again and then we came up with a great bit how about a twisters but it's a bunch of it's called bug chasers Yeah, and it's a bunch of guys and they're in a big pickup truck and they're all they're all dry We're going to fucking Providence For reference or walking around the Americana going we got fucking AIDS as 30 year old man

It's a guy screaming they go who's? They go, that's Tyler Dixon ass. He's the king of AIDS. And he's like taking pictures. The scene with Glenn Pound, he's like, if you can see the bug and the crowd goes, chase it! Chase the bug! Right, the thing where they're cutting each other's assholes with razor blades and shit is fucking crazy.

And then it ends with them all dying in hospital beds. That was lovely. I liked that movie, it was a good movie. Solid ass film. They're like, we all got fucking AIDS. Yeah, that was the tagline, yeah. That was the tagline, yeah. The trailer ends with a guy going,

we've all got fucking AIDS. You think you could disrupt AIDS, in theory? In theory. In theory. No one knows, see, here's the thing. No one knows how AIDS actually works. Well, the crux of the story was that AIDS is now becoming irrelevant because of medication and shit. So we were like, we gotta bring AIDS back.

We're bringing AIDS back. It's a lost art. AIDS is a lost art. This country's forgotten about AIDS. Yeah. It was very good. See, Twisters, it was great. Twisters is fun. Fun film.

It's a terrible movie, but it's fun. Twisters just got the John Dove bump. It did. It got him. I give it four thumbs up, dude. So did you guys see the, apparently the Olympic, the Olympics were today? Yeah, I watched the opening ceremony.

I was supposed to watch it at a party. Apparently this was the opening ceremony. Ew! I would fuck her. They're doing some weird fat guy shit. I'd fuck her. They're doing some weird fat lady stuff. I mean, I don't know what this, what's going on here.

What is this? It's a bunch of like, like fat drag queens doing like the last supper. What's the tan accumulation ceremony is this? This is very strange. There was actually like a metal band that performed the opening ceremony and it kicked ass. Really? Really?

I don't know who these guys are, but like visually it was fucking awesome. I gotta say I mean Roman Polanski looks like shit. Are these women or are they men? It's in France right? They're cross-dressers. They're drag queens yeah. Hold on I gotta fucking- Wait that's a dude? That might be a lady. In the middle with the tits? I don't know. That's some fat tits for a dude. I think I think. I always wondered if gay guys titty fuck each other if it's fat fat guys No, that's the one answer. I've never gotten Nick. Okada is definitely getting titty banged by his boyfriend But like do you think titties turn them on?

I don't know actually so would they titty fuck each other? I made it that was my last tweet ever was do gay dudes titty fuck each other Then the government seized your phone and they threw a flashbang they go each other then the government sees your phone and they threw a flashbang they go they go John that's too dangerous he's too dangerous you gotta take him down that video of the of the Olympics I think it would work with this playing

there we go we're gonna get taken off YouTube dude who cares one of the four pieces of thing the currency and I saw and the whole world you gotta mute the Twitter one on White Horse the currency and I saw a new whole white horse. That really does work.

Going round taking names and there's a fat bitch at the 2024 Olympics and who to blame. She's oiled up, bro. She really is. Everybody won't be treated all the same. The black chick's definitely not a friend. There'll be a golden obese bitch. Reaching down. There'll be a golden obese bitch.

As a man tucks his dick in his ass. Oh, I feel fast. No one gave me anything on that. That was pretty good. What'd you say? As a man tucks his dick in his ass. I feel, it's fantastic. No one gave me anything on that, that was pretty good. What'd you say? What'd you say? As a man, tucks his dick in his ass. You can't see the balls, you can't see the penis.

There's a hundred golden angels singing. The cock is tucked in. Would you fuck me? She put a litter box in the school. I took my dick away. OK, speaking of trans people, unfortunately, Jordan Peters and pretty crazy quote on Joe Rogan recently. I don't know what he's up to.

I hate this guy. He's he to. I hate this faggot. He sucks, I hate him too now. Fuck him, 12 rules for being a fag. Yeah. Um, this was his, like, he has a suit on that is, what is that? It's Byzantium art from Northern Africa, and we have a, you know, it's a bunch of saints,

and they protect me. It's pretty good. It's pretty good. That's it. Yeah. Good job, Johnny. Thanks, Bubba. I love you, dude. I miss you.

I missed all you guys so much. I missed you. It was good, dude. I missed you. I'm gonna think I saw you for like three days, dude. I fucking miss you, bro. You're getting the growth star, dude. Thanks, bro.

All right, check this out. Look at this retard. Utopian, naive, radical progressives refuse their imagination for evil, and that delivers them into the hands of the absolute bloody psychopaths. I want to give them a super wedgie. Just like above his head. Alright, you got a little confident. No more complimenting John.

Alright, shut up for a minute. John, give me your gold sticker tag. Hold on, you're going to have to do compliment. I'll be quiet for 15 minutes. John, John, give me your gold sticker tag. Hehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehe in your house. What does he mean? What is he talking about? Like they break in? Like they're mice. You have to get like, like, like, like, like, like, raid. It says like ants, ticks, trans people. He's like, you, you just wait till one of them's

on your head making you make cuisine. Okay. Dude, he's totally lost the plot. I was like, genuinely, he went from from like don't tell me that I have to Don't don't make it illegal for me to not Identify them properly to wait till they're in your vents Radar I'm groundhog! They're like xenomorphs, you have radar. Dude, he lost his mind.

Yeah, he totally lost his mind, man. He went from being like, no, I respect trans people, but just don't tell me that I, it's a law to not refer to you by your preferred pronouns. Yeah, it's just a grift, you know? And now he's wearing suits made of like, fucking Mother Mary or whatever the fuck.

Popped a Christian art on his fucking clothes. And he's like, you just wait, huh? You fucking tranny. Oh, you, just wait. Wait till they're in your home. Wait till they're in the floorboards. Wait, you just wait for that day that it's like the movie Long Legs.

And they pop out of nowhere. He sounds like he's talking about wood termites or something. Yeah. It's crazy. No, I remember that guy years ago who was like defending like gun laws and he was like, everyone's like, why do you need like an automatic weapon

or semi-automatic, you know, rifle or whatever? He goes, you wait till fucking, you have wild boars coming into your house. What are you talking about? That turned out to be a real problem. That turned out to be a real thing. I'm saying it'd be hilarious if this was a real thing. Jordan Peterson, there's like an epidemic

of trans people just breaking into your house. Jordan Peterson flies to Portland and he rents a helicopter and he just shoots trans people throughout the city. We know what's so funny about this is that like he is, he pisses them off so much. There's maybe a reality where they found his house. He might be the only person alive.

That's why he's saying this. Pretending like a World War Z issue with trans people Yeah, it's home every night. It's dawn of the day Till David Dutra me comes in your home This is such a crazy thing to say for a once proud He's a fucking wild intellectual. But he used to kind of be okay. Well I remember like fucking eight, nine years ago

coming over here and watching videos of Jordan Peterson with your mom. We thought he ruled. And we'd get up like, woo! I remember when he dominated that BBC bitch, we were like, my mom and I were like, talk that shit motherfucker! Me and your mom like chest-bombed in the delivery room.

And now he's this, he sucks ass. He's like yeah wait you wait Five trends people that's enough five trends. He's a pillhead. He's a fucking he's not oh He's a fucking no head who is the president and he sucks ass. He went towards the people that accepted him the most. And then the Daily Wire people. He just followed the money. He got radicalized and then followed the money. He looks like he stinks. Devin, do you have this queued up,

maybe this is next on your thing, where he talks to Elon? Is that what you had? Oh, yeah, yeah, I did, but I couldn't open the, the Twitter thing got deleted. Okay, hold on When it went when Elon talks about her his how he has no son anymore He had autistic son who became trans. He long has 12 kids. That's crazy that blew my fucking mind when I found out Yeah, I can't believe he's fucked 12 times. Yeah, the reason it's called dead naming is because

Your son is dead Are you Jordan? I know how to find it go go There's this ready called decoding the gurus and it's if you go to the top thing. It's on there Decoding the gurus. I think it's called Okay, and then go to the top Okay, and then go to the top Is that a big subreddit new top yeah go to code in the gurus how many members okay there we go Scroll down there's there's the video is one of the top things

Well, I would go go top of all time top of all time or top, you know this month would probably water shit saw her shit in there we go yeah Adam you're welcome here is that killed by the war why is it like that I'm sorry what that would be like well Is that my tranny now? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha This clit is gone! This is not my clit! I use that sucker clit every night! Fucking freaks, who gives a shit? Let your kid ruin their life. They're fucking retards. The kid's also autistic.

Or even if they don't hang out, even if they, they didn't, maybe they didn't ruin their life. Maybe they're awesome. Who gives a shit? Go get lunch with them. Yeah. Who cares? Yeah, why would you accept the kid? And they're like maybe they're awesome who gives a shit go get lunch with them. Yeah

The kids I don't care what a Person does to their body if they fucking meet up with me, and they like sound normal and make sense. That's all it matters Yeah, and it's trans now the Systems a gateway to trans and the Sun the Sun went on a Twitter rampage about this and it kind of They kind of are the the girl now now I guess kind of kicks ass. Yeah. She was like, I never said things were fabulous because I was fucking four. Yeah. And what a four year old.

She was making sense. She was making a lot of sense. And she seems happy and she kind of looks like a fuckable girl. Nice. And that's all that matters. That's all that matters. Yeah, she's hot. You do the work. Uh huh.

Put the roof on. Is it Bailey J. level? Is it Bailey J. level? It is Bailey matters. That's all that matters, yeah, she's hot. That's all that matters. You do the work, put the roof on. Is it Bailey J level? Is it Bailey J level? It is Bailey, it's Bailey J. It's Bailey J. Bailey J level. It better be, it better be. She had access to all the greatest electrical technology

in the fucking world. Think about how much money she's getting. She's got self-driving trans in her. She's got a self-driving pussy. She's got auto trans. Elon, she snuck in. She's got a self-driving pussy. She's got auto trans. Elon, she snuck in. She's got a cyber click. She snuck into the, yeah, she snuck into the company

a couple times. She installed some chips. She snuck into the R&D lab. And she's like, make me tits. She went to Lucius Fox like Batman did, being like, how do I get rid of this thing? Her cum like automatically shoots in her like snowball. She got auto snowballed.

She has to charge her cock. Let's see this faggot talk. We're one of the greatest shows of all time, folks. Take notes, take notes, everybody. You have more than a patron. You can get more than a patron. You can get more than on Patreon. It's all jock week, it's gonna be phenomenal. Your son is dead.

So my son Xavier is dead. Killed by the woke mind virus. Dramatic faggot. By the way, why is he calling his son Xavier, didn't he name his son the like fucking Pythagorean theorem or something? That's not the same, that's his baby. He has a bunch of kids.

And he had them with a woman called Grimes. Yeah, that's the kid with that. What does this retard expect? This blood diamond shithead? This man's terrified of dying. The Grimes kid is like, I too at this point maybe. Yeah. Oh, he had other kids with other people?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, he has 12 kids. What, who'd he fuck? A model? A model, why? One of them was on Westworld. He fucked that chick. Really? Yeah, he is. Evan Rachel Wood? So of them was on Westworld. He fucked that chick. Really? Yeah, he's-

Evan Rachel Wood? So this guy's terrified of dying, so all he wants to do is leave his lineage everywhere he fucking can. That's why he wants to- They're avatars. Yeah, he's a fucking retard. They're avatars, and one of them became trans,

and he's mad about it. He's like, I can't harvest the origins, and they're gay. Sorry, sorry, Elon, you have electric children. Dip shit, you started this whole fad, fucking asshole. You're the one that did this. You're the reason. There's electric tits in front of me.

And I go, you used to be a man, but those are great electric tits. Let's go charge those up at a supercharger station. Let's all get coffee in your weird little cultish like station that you make. It you tips a charger station the chargers Yeah, no no no I didn't mean that Who does let's play my rap songs again Like the kids actually died yeah, like he died I feel you blood the kid died you could saying it like the kid actually died. Yeah, like he died. I feel your blood.

The kid died. You can just talk to your kid. They're still alive. You piece of shit. Answer their texts. Who gives a shit? He actually. I know I'm pretty infamous for going off on a trans rant

on a lemon party, but like I actually don't, if it's fine, I don't believe in trans children. You were yelling at, you know, don't make him do the medications. Yeah, all that as a child. People are trans, all right. He's fully acting like his kid doesn't exist anymore. It's insane.

And the kid on Twitter was like, yeah, well, he probably feels this way because he never fucking raised me or saw me. Devin, if you had a trans kid, it'd be the most loved kid on fucking planet Earth. I would love my trans kid. It would be like, but I would never let them outside. It would be like it would be like it would be like It would be like Howard Hughes working on the spruce goose We're not done yet. I'm like you better be fuckable

You're like can those tits fly You just like too heavy you just locked away in a room have like a mason jar of your piss and fingernails, you're like not fuckable enough yet. My kid! My kids are fuckable. No, he's not done! His toenails are four inches long. John C. Reilly is going like, you're spending too much on this kid. Her tits are fine! I go, shut up! She's not done! She's not done!

Jesus Christ, we gotta stop. Her pussy flaps can't fly yet. I just can't believe how much exactly his kid is actually dead. It's really disheartening. I hope he trolls the kid. I want a fucking retard. He comes home, the kid's like, hey dad, he's like, Xavier? Yo, uh... Whoa, son?

He's like, honey, do you hear that voice? Dad, I'm right here? He goes, oh! He's got a Ouija board. His wife's like, stop it, Elon. Talk to her. She misses you. Honey, honey, step out of it. We don't have a daughter.

Yeah, and there's lots of people in that situation now. Yeah. It's not pretty. Yeah, you know. And lots of demolished kids. Yes. Yeah, well that's a good- Demolished kids.

Have you seen my jacket? These children have been demolished. They've been demolished. They're demolished. He's also wearing that. He called a human being a demolished person. All right, so let's- So I vowed to destroy the woke mind virus.

I vowed to destroy the- Sounds like you think they destroyed themselves. So let him keep going. He thinks he's like a fucking Jedi. It's unbelievable. They woke- Yeah. I vowed to destroy the dark side. You were supposed to stop the woke mind virus.

Not join easily. I hate you. Let's remake outbreak, but instead of like the virus that destroys the world, let's still woke mind virus and it's Elon Musk scrambling. Now we're making some progress. This is so gay. God, these weirdos.

You should put a gun in her mouth and blow her head off. Make her suck your gun. She'll suck it off though, they're sadistic sex weirdos. They're sex craved people. They got oral fixations. sadistic sex weirdos. There's sex craved people. They got oral fixations. Ha ha ha ha ha.

Ha ha ha ha. Unbelievable. We got a serial killer in Austin, folks. Hate this, hate this. When is a fucking damn. And everyone's acting like it's not happening. And it's kind of, it feels like it has to be true. 13 bodies in the last two years keep popping up

in Lady Bird Lake. Yeah, the same place. Same place. All young men too. There's a couple theories that there's a lot of people on Rainy Street and other, Sixth Street. They get drunk, fall over. No, no, no, no, they get drunk, fall over, and whatever,

but that doesn't sound right to me. There's a lot of locals, I went on a deep dive on Reddit earlier today of Austin locals talking about it, and some of them, actually the most level-headed takes on it are that they know a lot of people that have gone down to Rainy Street, Sixth Street,

and drink at these bars, these, you know, it's really wild. It's really frat like out there. Yeah, we've all been there. And that they're getting drugged. There's a lot of roofies going on. And they think that- Hey man brother.

They think that you got roofied. I know what that's like. And they think, a lot of people think- Yeah, it's pepperless. Think that some of these people were people that that because they roofie them to then rob them So you roofie them and then the bartender knows robbing what their innocence? Exactly and then knows that has people in the bar. They go. Okay now he's roofied He's gonna wander outside and he's not gonna remember anything

So let's like, you know push him down and then take his wallet and shit but a Lot of people think that some of them had overdose levels of roofies put in them and then just stumbled into the lake and died That's a little how many people stumbled on fucking lake and die Apparently this ladybird late ladybird lake is like got this incline where you kind of walk out you go This is lovely and he's just like trip and. Yeah, you do a bad comedy stuff. I don't, I don't buy it. I think there's actually a serial killer.

Yeah, Lady Brickley has this weird thing when there's like a trap door and an evil genius. Yeah, what kind of setup is this? There's a bar with a slope that you fall right into a lake. It's real Shanghai shit. We already know it. Yeah, what? Joe Rogan would say like, listen man,

they were at the club, man. They were killed by David Lucas, man. They were laughed, they laughed so hard, man, that they like fell into the lake and died, man. Like, this is the work of like Hans Kim and David Lucas and like the new Kill Tony regulars, man. Like these guys are killers, man. They're snipers. Yeah, you see, I mean, you watch KC Rocket crab walk,

you'll fucking blow your brains out, man. These are snipers, man. KC Rocket like crab walked like last night, and so like, yeah, of course like six bodies were found in Laderbird Lake man like Austin's like changing rapidly They didn't get the golden ticket man. Listen man like these guys are like like they were obviously at the mothership They were killed by comedy and fell into the lake damn I'm still so mad about my line not getting into that sketch lemon-brown sketch of the you go I see David Lucas finally getting some exercise tap dancing for those white

There's this there's this video on YouTube of a guy breaking down his entire stand-up special and by the way I have no opinion on David Lucas. I think is great We all think he's great, I think he's awesome. But he goes, I'm a cerebral comic. He goes, when you leave my show. He goes, you come to my show, you might hear some crazy shit, but when you drive home, you'll be thinking about it. And then it cuts to him, and he's like,

gay people, weird as hell. He literally goes, I don't even get gay people, bro. And then that's it, and you're like, man, that's. Why would you wanna get your booty hole blown out? Imagine being in the car and you're like, there's people that like fuck the same sex. After David Lucas. There's a guy who's never heard of gay sex.

He's never heard of gays. He goes, honey, David Lucas blew my mind. All right, so this is a little take on, you got these ladybird lake killings, and listen, like I said, it's obviously people that, like, you know, they were fuckin', you know, these are murderers, man. When did the TMZ guy enter his fuckin'

true detective era, by the way? Look at this fuckin' dude. The TMZ guy? Yeah. Yeah, he's like, if you guys get the opportunity. What's his name? His name's Harvey, right? Yeah, Harvey Levin.

Harvey Levin's like, listen, it's a, his own time is an endless circle. If you get the opportunity, you should get the, you should get the double mocha frappuccino. He's cutting up a Lone Star beer cam. You know he's like five foot. No. He's like the shortest man of all time.

That's awesome. That makes sense. That makes sense. Five bodies pooled from Lady Bird Lake in just six months. A dead body to shore this morning along Lady Bird Lake. Austin police recovered a body from Lady Bird Lake in just six months. A dead body to shore this morning along Lady Bird Lake. Austin police recovered a body from Lady Bird Lake this afternoon. Since 20- 20- Kiltoni is on a rampage.

What happens when the name Kiltoni becomes literal? There is a new Kiltoni regular. Joke world's on it. He's like, this week in Austin, 13 more bodies were found in Ladybird Lake. Apparently Casey rocket crab walked all fucking night and destroyed the crowd. Some were woozy, they fell into the lake.

Pfft. Pfft. Pfft. Pfft. Pfft. Pfft. Pfft. Oh God. Death by crab walk is maybe my favorite thing Damn John and Joey hate this

Comedy it's I yeah, you guys are beautiful people for them. That's why that's what my best friends Why this show works. Cause if it was me and Devon we would just do that. I think for now and I have. It would be non-stop. I know what David Lucas is. I haven't seen one man. I know what David Lucas is.

I don't know what David Lucas is. I don't know what he, I know what he is. He's a big deal. I've never seen anything about him. He's a big deal. I've never seen him stand up and doing anything. He's a big deal. Yeah.

Show some fucking respect to a fucking cerebral genius. He's a huge deal. Yeah. Show some fucking respect to a fucking cerebral genius. He's a huge deal. Huge deal. When we say that, he's fat as shit. He's fat as shit. Yeah. Uh. Found in Lady Bird Lake.

My favorite comic, by the way. Yeah, my favorite comic. And the Gornies are saying. Well, you know, David Lucas fishes in this same lake. They're accidental drownings their suicide but no foul play that seems really weird to me a man reported missing at the was found in the- What? You made- I'm sorry, I paused the run, Rob.

I didn't mean to make you, Bob, I'm sorry. I do love the idea of the TMZ crew doing a spotlight level investigation. I didn't, this is actually becoming such a big deal, TMZ's on it. Yeah, and it's like, I've never seen a serious tone on TMZ. Yeah, yeah. Harvey Levin's blowing out a pedophile's head

on the fucking- Yeah, TMZ's like, yeah. Harvey Levin's blowing out a pedophile's head on the fucking- Yeah, TMZ's like Whitney Houston was found dead in Lady Bird Lake. She had just seen Hans Kim tell a couple of terrible race jokes at the mothership on Kill Tony. Chandler from Friends. Matthew Perry. Matthew Perry found dead in Lady Bird Lake.

Death by crab walk. Death by crab walk. There are signs that there are similarities with some of the victims here. Most of them are men. There's even a theory that this was somebody who was going after gay people. It cuts to Joe Rogan.

He's like, civilians can't take it, man. Like we're the last line of defense against like the woke mind virus, man. And like a lot of civilians, they leave the mothership and they just blow their heads off at native bird like man. Also this theory that they're going after gay people. Like imagine if you did get killed by a serial killer, you're a regular straight guy and now you're like,

hey, no, they're killing gay, now you're known as a queer. Right, right. Yeah. Yeah. Cam Patterson has been arrested in the string of murders. He's been smashing a rock on the victim's heads. You gay people need to learn how to swim. Is that what's going on?

It's weird. He's tortured. All male male all alone Gone queer men bisexual gay men have certainly been targeted specifically. I think this theory is alluding to What the statement I think from a bartender who mentioned I want to go after and kill homos is what he said The city's installed That's what he said. Since last February, the city's installed more lights and cameras.

That bartender's name was John Knopf. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha I didn't know there was a body of water. Brian Holtzman keeps finding the bodies. He's so bad, he's walking the dead bodies. He's making extra money finding the bodies. They're like, yeah, sure, Brian, we'll give you 20 extra bucks. His goons are filming like, another dead body walks, they can't handle Holtzman. Joe Rogan's like, have you heard this new Brian Holtzman bit, man?

Like he like, he finds dead bodies in Lady Bird Lake, man. The Mort gives him 20 bucks a pop, man. He brings them on stage with him, man. It's like crazy, it's the craziest shit I've ever seen, man. Like we were literally completely recreating comedy out here, man. Oh my God. We're fully just doing the LeveMari sketch.

I love that. But I mean, how do you talk about Austin serial killers without talking about the murderers at the mothership? The serial killers, you mean the lineup tonight? There's a little boy. There's a lot of murderers there, B. Okay, all right. Sounds like these people were taken for a legwog.

Hey. I'm gonna kill myself later tonight the trail closer to Rainy Street I had also read that they were now because all these people have been found you know in this lake real quick It's gonna be now because all these people have been found you know in this lake that they're now put it gonna go back Boba yeah, there you go. See that's that's people dying of laughs You can't see it, but under the waves. He's crab walking. That's those are laughs. He's crab walking under the Magic like your son drowns in this lake and that like the police just like they pointed this sign Well, he was at the mothership

He was obviously killed from laughter You said he he OD'd on giggles Cuz there's a ton of brilliant comedians that go up there. Yeah Yeah, we've mentioned all of this is funny. Yeah, all of them who were making fun of this who we know dude It's so funny. I love everything going on me. I love any scene. I love everything happening everywhere Yeah, I am NOT a hateful person. It's beautiful what they've got there. I don't think it's a cult. I love it all I would love it all. Yeah, I love it all I would love it all yeah, I love it all We all do things together out there

When you're in Austin we all do things together that story, but that seems a little too. We all do things together Wow You know in this lake that they're now putting up like maybe security fences and things like that But I can totally imagine guy goes out to a bar gets drunk. He's walking along. There's no security Lucas is fishing you start laughing. You can't stop laughing He's fucked because he's the funniest guy of all time you fall to the lake you die. I get it. That's what she says that She was David Lucas is fishing with Ron Wyatt. It's like you just Just fall into the lake from laughter.

No, it's like a killer's row. You got David Lucas, Kyle Rittenhouse. I mean, you're gonna die from laughter. It's unbelievable how many killers there are, man. Yeah. Like you got like David Lucas, then you got Kyle Rittenhouse, who actually killed like three people.

Yeah. Yeah. About a body that was found in Ladybird Lake on Monday afternoon. Just a few minutes ago, Austin police say this case is not being ruled a homicide at this time. What I find really troubling with Austin PD

is ultimately what they come out as the disposition for these bodies. Some of them are just undetermined, but it's not a homicide. Well, if it's undetermined, how can you say it's not a homicide? In a day- It cuts to David Lucas, he's like,

these people were thinking about my jokes, man, and their brains exploded Cuz it's too cerebral my jokes are too cerebral They've died and then fell into the lake. This is what happened man. They were walking home They go dudes fuck each other in the ass Shipped over a rock I challenge you to listen to that shit and try to swim I Told people last night that gay people exist. And it blew people's fucking minds.

Cause you drive home, you go, what the fuck? People fucking the ass, men, fuck ass. That's crazy. It's like scanners or heads just fucking explode as they walk in a lake. Can I play that? Can we play that clip real quick? Yeah, put it on.

Yeah, yeah, I'll send it to you It's really it's I'm it's it's not worth it It's maybe the funniest editing I've ever seen on anything and I've never I don't have anything against David Lucas No, no, I like I said, I love I'm sure I'm sure I'd like him in person. I guess yeah No, I I've met him and I it's just a funny edit. There's some video on YouTube. There's some video on YouTube No, I think he's just phenomenal You're so scared of Hans Kim and cocks I think he's well Hans Kim is a fucking sniper man. Yeah Did you tell you're not afraid of them I'm gonna kill Hans Kim

I'm gonna find him He's gonna kill him the lake. I'm gonna go I'm gonna track his tour. Yeah, this is kill him One of the funnier things I've ever seen in my life Watch this I scream my full scream Johnny watch this My jokes are very cerebral So if you come to my show I might say a lot of crazy shit But on your drive home, you're gonna be thinking a lot. I don't even get gay people man

Why you wanna get your booty hole blowed up? The prime stoic my Might say a lot of crazy shit, but on your drive home, you're gonna be thinking a lot I don't even get gay people, man Why do you want to be gay bro? Why you want to get your booty hole blowed out? Damn give it up for Patrice to real yeah, that shit blew my fucking mind, bro. God what a fat piece of shit Battlefield earth Klingon Well, he's the king of comedy.

And hey, and how dare you? Yeah, what are you guys making fun of him for? I'm gonna kill him the work of Hans Kim recent kill Tony killer or some other way and if you're not disclosing that why not it's also a tourist destination and one of their big draws for the state I mean you got the mothership man nightclub I'll line it up guys the mothership man It's all lining up to the mothership. It's all it all goes back. I have There's a way I have your killer because Kevin you create you pause for a sec I have blueprints to the comedy mothership, and I know exactly where to place devices

No, don't say that if you find a can of beans in the vents There's like three hold on there's like three lot of people there I like In the vents at the comedy mothership There's like three whole people Hold on, there's like three to six people there that I like kind of know Well maybe send them a text on April 15th Joey's been buying a lot of Tannerite recently On April 15th Really playing this out huh? Pretty far down the line

You say Tannerite's gonna be at the mothership and Joe Rogan's like Dude Tannerite's gonna be at the mothership and Joe Rogan's like, dude, Tannerite's a killer. Yeah. Yeah. Joe's buying a lot of ball bearings and Tannerite and pressure cookers and he's... By your April 15th at the mothership. And Rogan.

Diesel and Tannerite. Rogan goes, I love pressure cookers, man. Like, red, like fucking brisket, man. Like, if you pressure cook brisket, man, it like starts falling off the bone man. And you get that at Franklin's man, it's fucking amazing. There's gonna be ribs all over the wall. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Like, we're like the last line of defense. Yeah, dude. Against, like, you know, the civilian brain

can't comprehend what we do, man. I don't even think he said that. I think, that was Bert Kreischer. I think Bert. He said that? Well, it makes more sense that you said that. Bert said that, yeah. What, do you have a problem with that?

The civilian brain. You think you're better than Bert Kreischer? You fucking retard. Yeah. Dude, I, you're like the Burt Kreischer? You fucking retard. Yeah. Dude, I... You're like the Burt Kreischer of this podcast. Yeah, yeah. I just fucked up.

Yeah. I just fucked up. How dare you? He just, I don't care. Burt's done the work. I don't know about comedy, dude. Yeah, this is torture for them. I literally know nothing about comedy.

Joey knows this. Joey knows, I know nothing. I know Burt Kreischer. I know nothing. Well, you should. I'm learning through osmosis. It's nice. There we go.

Honestly, John's right. People hate this shit on Haywatch. They're like, no, we're talking about stand up. Nobody cares. Well, we're not. We're talking about the Austin serial killers, but the killers are fucking these murders. But now we can get into the actual case.

Okay, good. I like the nice serial. Let's no more comedies. You got some cops that would love nothing more than to be working on a serial killing investigation. See, it's a push-pull. One of their reasons was that there's no through pattern. Why is a UFO investigator on the case? What does that mean? I think what's going on, aliens are bringing people up, beating them up and then dropping them into the lake. That's what I think is going on here.

Unfunny observer. Where's you now there? He goes, I think David Lucas has alien DNA that can explain why he's so fucking great. Everything is accidental, undetermined. Like, not being invent, like, it's just too many. Oh well, it just so happened. Well, actually, you're a mathematician.

12 bodies in two years. Hardly 11, though. I need so many more numbers than that. I mean, given the a mathematician. Twelve bodies in two years. Harvey Levin looks amazing. I need so many more numbers than that. I mean, given the population, it's not completely unheard of, especially if there's bars nearby and a body of water. Even when I'm sober, swimming is pretty rough. There are bodies of water in... What?

The fuck are you talking about? In what way? That lake? I've never seen that lake move. I've been to Austin maybe six or seven times. I've never seen that lake have like waves or be like rough. What are we talking about? In defense of that lady Harvey goes you're a mathematician use math to prove if this is a serial killer. She's like I don't know what you're talking about swimming his car like they're drunk I don't know. You're almost every metropolitan area but you really to your point. Look at this guy's black he got black fingernails. Sick.

Really to your point, you don't. He's emo. I'll be honest. I'm just really scared to go to fucking Austin. Yeah. This guy's, this guy definitely has a lot of me too. Really see numbers this close together with a lot of accidental drownings in one. Harvey 11 has like Liam Neeson eyes.

Geographically wrong with the area. That makes it dangerous. Or there's something else going on here that we don't know You know what it reminds me of a little bit is that you you look at the Gilgo Beach serial killer Gil go be a wrecked sour man. He's one of the he's one of the king his name He's very famous he's a famous guy he was killing women in Florida no clue You know David Lucas, but you don't know he was in Long Beach Long Island, Long Island

I know real killers. Sorry. I know real killers. You are one. Like David Lucas. Oh very very good Very good For 11 years they dismissed it. Purple on. Oh, it's nothing. years, they dismissed it. Purple on. Oh, it's nothing. Well, they're finding these bodies. Was that Sicario? And at a point, not all of it's accidental, not all of it's disconnected. You do have a party place next to dangerous place.

He's an archaeologist. When I went to college, I went to UC Santa Barbara, and I levitated on the cliffs, you know, right? So that's why you guys both have AIDS You see Santa Barbara the most sexually devious school in the nation capital of California We've all got fucking AIDS You can see the bug Chase it there we go. Thank you um yeah, you see you see Santa Barbara. I think is pretty infamous for sexual For sure right yeah, they have that party every year called Del Topia

They don't do it anymore, but when I was like in high school and shit They had to tell topia and it was like a whole town was a party and every year I'd have friend go up there get arrested. Yeah, yeah, cuz they would like throw trash can at a cop car nice Kill old man the woods yeah they were doing cocaine fest brother beaches right below every year somebody falls off the cliff by the way thank you for these mammoth yeah they're really good welcome my show to the camera let's give them you know I don't know if that's a big company mammoth brewingoth Brewing Company.

Everyone, check that out. Joey went to Mammoth and got Mammoth Brewing Company beers. You're welcome. You're a god damn saint. You're a saint. Thank you so much. Shout out Logan Kyros. Thank you, Logan. Famous comedian from the forefathers prank. Yep. Famous comedian, Logan Kyros.

Yeah. God bless, Logan. Don't goof on sweet Logan like that. Don't make fun of Logan. He's famous Yeah. God bless Logan. Don't goof on sweet Logan like that. Don't make fun of Logan. He's famous. He looks like Thomas Magnolodon. I love Logan. Yes.

He's the most handsome man in town. Oh yeah. I brought Logan into your guys' lives. How dare you? And we're- And now- And I'm a better friend of him than- And now you turn on him.

I didn't disparage him whatsoever. Now you're turning on him. He likes us more. He likes you. Logan texts me a lot. Whatever. It's fun. Logan hit me up the other day. He goes like,

Is Connor like fucking with me? Like- What is- What's this all about? He did the same thing to me. Yeah, what'd he say? What was it about? Whatever Logan hit me up the other day goes like it's kind of like fucking with me like What's this all about? You did the same thing? Yeah, what do you say? What was it about? He was like he said he's more jack than you and he'll beat Yeah, that's both those. Yeah, same true verbatim. Oh, okay. Yeah, but what did I do to him? He said you're a bad friend. You weren't talking to him as much as us General shit about hating you. Yeah Can say anything about like,

there's no like specific like cause? No cause at all. He was just like, I just, you know, I'm just feeling it. He was like, listen, I'm another tight skinned Jack dude. I'm feeling angry today. I want to kill a man. Do you guys want him on the show more than me? I do.

I think he'd be better. I think he'd be a lot better in that chair. Wow. He has a cabin. Yeah, that's fine. He wouldn't even. I think he'd be a lot. I think you'd be a lot better in that chair Wow Yes a cabin. Yeah, that's fine. He would have got more than a cabin brother. He's got a beach house You know he wouldn't even need a chair What you could just squat the whole time because he's stronger than you Dude, I'm not I'm not gonna see you act like this doesn't hurt my feelings Yeah, I really hope I hope that yeah

I have something that happens if you guys want him here more than me just fucking all that's fine. I do that's fine I do that's fine. So then take a hike well, okay Maybe I'll wait for Logan to get here guys Guys, yeah Connor. He's actually he's not gonna be here for like 30 minutes until you finish the show. Yeah, no, I'll be C filler in the meantime, it's fine, yeah. In the meantime, we have an, there's a serial killer in Austin. Could you pay attention, your last 30 minutes? Do you mind? Yeah, yeah, I'll try.

This is your last time, like, can you, do you think you could like, you know, maybe kill it for once on the show? Yeah, yeah. You try? Try and have a good take, okay? You need to try. Presented show is Kane.

Yeah. Kill it. I'll try, man the show is Kane. Oh, yeah kill it. I'm sorry man. Yeah That's crazy A guy no, I did kill the guy To a murder to man an accomplice to a murder. He didn't kill a guy. He was an accomplice That's where he was one of many that hit a man that died. But he was the one who did it though. Sure, in the legal system, of course, Connor would be put away for life.

But that's all I mean is legally, technically, he killed a man. Well not legally, no law was involved. Nobody investigated and pressed charges. You skate by on legality. It was the perfect crime. It was, honestly, it was lethal teens. It was wonderful.

Yeah. Yeah. Anyway, yeah, guys, I'll try my best for the next 30 minutes or whatever, so. Yeah, enjoy it while it lasts, Scar. Give it a take of plug, since you're not gonna be on the show. Yeah, Logan just texted me, he's actually here right now.

Oh, okay. Well, yeah, I mean, I guess come to my show, I'm doing a show with Ben Avery, August 10th at the Virgil. It's appropriately named, Cring. Do you mind. Well, yeah, I mean I guess come to my show. I'm new show has been Avery August 10th the Virgil It's appropriately named. Do you mind if we like wash these off? Take his shit off. Yeah, I'm gonna wipe these down before Logan Yeah, they're all discussing wait shit. Logan said don't plug his show Can we edit that out? Can we edit that out? Yeah What show? Connor show Don't let him do that. Oh, he doesn't want to he doesn't yeah

Yeah, I mean just he's doing it as a favor to you Logan Logan's doing cringe is a favor to you Mike Mike so you can fucking talk don't say I give me like your little brother the let you get out of here Why don't you go make some fucking funny rap songs faggot? later queer I think it's funny to do fucking like parody rap songs Connor get back in here He's not coming let him pout this is unbelievable. He really sitting in a corner Dude, he's so sensitive. Let's call Logan. He really is Connor so sensitive I can't patch Logan in you guys I caught him just put it into the mic

Your passcode I can't believe Connor like I mean this is embarrassing this is an embarrassment. He's really gone embarrassment He's really gone Yeah Middle of like a pretty good fucking segment here No, just calm in the mic. Yeah, call him and just call on your phone But no cuz he needs to hear the segment to try man and fully pod. Oh true. I just air dropped it There we go. Just call him Connor screaming in the background.

Get back here Connor. Connor get back. Let's have Logan humble for it. Let's just pretend we've moved right on. Yeah. Oh here he comes. Oh nothing man. I actually really had a piece. That was like perfect timing. I don't know what I'm supposed to do I just say face a little well you're supposed to call Logan on the Bluetooth, but Connors bags Let's just forget about forget it and a bit and a bit. I'm great everyone loves me Yeah, we love you Connor

We were going to call Logan on Bluetooth and when you came back we were just potting with them without you Why don't you just calm anyway? Oh? Like no, it's not why we like Logan finish the pot. No, let's do the show looking come on I'm not about this. I love Logan, but how about he fucking doesn't interrupt us. Hey Yeah, exactly Magic we yeah, he interrupted us right now. Okay, exactly. Exactly. The magic we have. Yeah, he interrupted us right now. He's taking John away from me?

Yeah. This filthy studio. When's his wedding? Why don't we go to his wedding? Who gives a shit about his fucking elephant wedding? What? Let's go to his elephant wedding. His fucking Indian elephant.

Now we're talking, baby. Fuck Logan. Fuck Logan. His deep-dop-dee-dee-doo wedding. Fuck Logan and his fucking, he's doing some fucking weird like like like sitar wedding Were they like no man fuck him that guy sucks at this show with him at a charity. I fucking hate him Logan's a bad guy. He's a really bad guy. He got way too drunk at my house All he does is like offer us sex with me

Gay sex with me and his father broke through the fucking door. No, Logan really pisses me off. Found us. He offers us a bunch of amazing opportunities. Yeah. He helps us in our show. He's a scumbag. Logan's a sicko.

By the way, he let me stay in his cabin in Mammoth. Piece of shit cabin. Really? Yeah. I heard it sucked. Did his dad interrupt you when you were fucking your girlfriend? Almost, baby. Because he? Yeah. I heard it suck. Did his dad interrupt you when you were fucking your girlfriend?

Almost. He interrupted me when I was fucking Logan. It felt like that because, honestly there was no air conditioning. Whole family's come back. Wow. No air conditioning at the cabin. Bunch of puritans.

It was hot as fuck. I had to like dig around the entire house, fucking four stories, way too many stories. Then. Right. He's like, well you gotta be a mountain climber to fucking live in this try it's supposed to be a little vacation you try to you went to every you went to all 12 bedrooms to find the coolest bed yeah I did selfishness I know

it's bullshit and like have the fan outwards so many beds that you can't even figure out which one's the good one it's like hey buddy let him know before he fucking drives all that to mammoth let him know the good bed also every bullshit every shit in the house is from like 1999 yeah, that's Like a Sega Genesis or something. I'm not kidding a dreamcast They had some old piece of shit what a fuck and then try to like go on to Netflix

I had to download like a bunch of different things. I had to like hook up my laptop That's embarrassing. It was a piece of shit. And I wish you would have warned me about it before you let me stay there. At your dope cabin. He catfished me. He catfished me and pretended it was nice.

I'm pissed even just hearing about it. Yeah, I know. Suck me off Logan. That sucks man, that sucks. And he fucking almost like made my friend Brock break up with his girlfriend. Yeah. He couldn't eat for days. He said

He'll Billy curse. He's put on us and Brock has immediately been liking everything I knew he like he gave up on being angry about he's liking everything you do because he has a dark Curse These guys in South Dakota need to show more respect for the Baxter and Brock are meeting up and they're Conveying over a Ouija board and they're destroying our lives. We should start more wars in South the spiritual wars I agree Devon and also I think Brock is also like Let me add this actually Brock has forgiven me as well He started to realize like okay

They were actually being kind of they're promoting my rock that Tell Brock that we did that because that fucking like scared bitch Won't come out to LA. That guy hasn't visited us once in LA. I've been really mean to Brock Well, I don't I don't think I've shown Brock one ounce of kindness. I would love to buy Brock a fucking dinner out in LA I wouldn't buy him shit. You would take him out and do the coolest night ever. I'd show him a whole fucking life out here Where would you take him? Let's go through the whole day Wake up. Where you going? But his own Frank's yeah, maybe but I would have maybe go to like tax Then we go to like fucking but I'm saying breakfast. Where you going breakfast Knicks next we're going to Knicks for breakfast He's gonna see that he's gonna see I'll be confused by silverware sitting there going

Yeah, you can't take- How do I hold this? What is this a fork? It's a pitchfork? He grabs an almond with his bare hands and he's like, hot, it's hot, it's hot. You take Brock to fucking get sushi out here. He's like, that's advanced level shit.

Is this like safe goldfish? Yeah, you're gonna break his fucking brain. Brock will be scared by the buildings out here. Brock has like, you'll see the US bank building, be like, is that a Kaiju? I've heard about those things. Is that like a Pacific Rim fucking villain?

Will that thing wake up if we walk too close? Because I don't feel like getting into a fight with a Kaiju. No, Brock will just think it's really- He's a flare in front of the skyscraper. Brock's on those guys. You guys of the skyscraper. Brock's one of those guys. He goes, you guys run that way, I'll distract him. He's a flair.

Trying to distract the sky. Brock's like a pygmy in Africa. He thinks something really big that's far away is actually very small and close. And he's like, he can't comprehend distance and time. Yeah, he doesn't have depth perception. He's trying to grab the buildings from Devon's balcony. Yeah, like he sees a bunch of people on Sunset Boulevard,

he goes, are those ants? Are those ants? Yeah, no, I mean. I love Brock very much. I would take Brock to Nick's for breakfast, for lunch. For lunch, I don't really know, no need for lunch really. Smash burgers. Really no need for lunch.

Low Boy. Low Boy, yeah. And then for dinner, Mousseau and Frank. It's the fattest day of all time. And then take him, you know, I know we aren't thrilled with the Comedy Store, but he would be, he'd be like starstruck by your most basic comedian.

I'm thrilled by it, I love going to the Comedy Store. I'm talking about like people who weren't cucks I'll take a minute. All right, I'll take him and we'll get free drinks on the rock would look at the Comedy Star wall With all the what the names on it. He goes that Rick Johnson What who's that like that guy's a killer you don't know Buster McGee Buster McGee I would abuse I would rather us just go to South Dakota and act like Johnny Cage for fucking a week No, here's the thing $500 sunglasses at this point

I feel no pressure to show Brock a good time when he comes out here because he's been such a cocksucker I'm coming out here. If he did come in I was out here. I mean, I'd be like look just look How about that? You were probably afraid on your way from LAX to my place. Yeah, about that you're afraid That's the city bitch. I got Carl's jr. Fuck you How about that Brock I love Brock so much it pisses me off how he's like he's he's not come out here He has an opportunity to come out here, and then when he goes home. He would have a million stories for like weeks I know he'd be like Marco Polo. He's like, I went to the cafe and I saw their ships.

Brock thinks because- And it was amazing. They're 400 meters long. And it gives the ocean real Brock. Wow. He's like, they have these things called noodles. They eat noodles and they have spices. What are waves like, Brock?

Wow. The sun rises in the west. Does it really move the water out there? You go, they got big tall things they call buildings, they're like cabinets for people. It's amazing. Cabinets for people. I stole that from Devin Costa. Did I say that?

Yeah, you did a month ago. You love your own jokes so much, that's awesome. That's why my name's on the show When did I say that oh We were standing on top of the athletic Another rap song no don't don't you fucking there? No we got a safer jock week Well it's hard to tell with you should be about Joey explain that video one more time and then the movie? And then- Yeah, Joey, okay.

Let me set it up. Let me set it up. Let me set it up. I'm fucked up. By the way, I love this episode. Me too, I think it's great. I think we've done amazing work here. And that was August 10th.

August 10th, Devan's gonna shake your hand. I'll push you down. I will take you down to Chinatown. Meet the fuckers. One of the best movies ever made, Meet the Fuckers. I will push you down. I will take you down to Chinatown. Meet the fuckers. One of the best movies ever made, Meet the Fuckers. Is this your rap lyrics? Not Meet the Barons.

Is he saying his rap lyrics? Not Meet the Barons. Meet the Fuckers. This is the most chaotic episode of all time. Let's get the fuck out of here. So yeah, August 10th at the Virgil, eight o'clock, buying tickets in my bio. If you come there, Devin Costner will fight you

with his bare hands. No, I don't fight anybody actually. No, no, no, no. If you do, I will sue you. No, he's gonna he's gonna fucking if you touch me I will sue you it's fun as fuck. It's gonna be the best time ever. I've seven motorcycles showing up It's gonna be the best time on you. They buy tickets. Oh, yeah, everyone everyone bought tickets. There we go Thank you John John, yeah, no, of course, I said first show, everybody's gotta buy tickets. Second show, you guys get them for free.

No, they have to buy tickets every fucking time. No. Okay, so. If you have a bike, hit me up, Hate Ride. What a gay, horrible name. Who gives a shit? Okay, so Joseph LaFleur, the great Joey LaFleur, my best friend in the whole face of the fucking Earth.

God damn it. The love of my life. This hurts me every time he says it. Man, it sucks, dude. Sorry in the whole face of the fucking earth. God damn it. The love of my life. This hurts me every time he says it. It sucks. Sorry, bro. The love of my life. They are married.

Joey and I are married. What do you want from us? Yeah, what do you want from us? We got married. So Joey, we were at the gym. It's the hardest I've ever laughed. Joey watched a movie one night. I have no clue what this movie is. That's like one of these generic

meaningless Amazon Prime movies that there's nobody in it that you ever recognize you've never heard of before and Joey is in the gym and he's explaining the movie to us and it was the funniest Funniest movie I've ever heard. Yeah, the funniest explanation of a movie I've ever heard So Joey, what's it called? Sorry. It's called life like life. It's called life like life. Like, okay. So do you want to set up how this w what this movie is about? You got this in you, you got this in you to like, I think so. Yeah. So yeah.

Life like is, uh, everyone go check out life like I haven't yet to see it. I don't think I ever will cause it'll be it'll be tarnished. I don't want to watch it. This is much better than the movie. It's one of these movies that was made during like covid I think during the quarantine where they have to film it all in one location or two locations.

So yeah, right. So it opens up and this husband and wife have just moved from the city to like some like country or it's like a suburb outside of another city where the husband inherited his father's like billion dollar empire so he now has to move to this suburb to run the business so they get there and they move across state lines they're in different states they don't really tell you so that really makes no sense offer it that makes no sense so it's already makes no sense so

they just all you know relax sorry all you know So that really makes no sense. Offer it. That makes no sense. So it's already makes no sense. So they just all you know. Carl, relax. Sorry. I'm gonna chill out, dude. All you know is that they used to live in the city and now they're in like sort of like a countryside like a place on a big estate. So they get there and now they live on a big property and they have like housekeepers.

They have like a chef and they have a maid and they have a couple of different things like that. And the wife is just like, I'm really uncomfortable with these guys I don't we have like slaves basically like this is wrong. I don't feel comfortable so on her own She fires the servants husband gets home, and he's like what the fuck now like who's gonna take care. We have a huge property This is fucked So they find the solution is okay that I know a guy that makes these AI robots real quick

Can I ask question? Yeah, do you know what year this movie set in? It's set in the modern time. That's hilarious So it's set in modern time 24 crazy Yeah, so yeah, you think the robots gonna be like some sort of mechanical thing that like like a robot from from rocky 3 exactly Yeah, yeah, but no, it's like the robot looks like a human. It's like a perfect human It's just like human actor with no prosthetics, and he's just like hello I'm your new robot, and it's played by like a six foot five Adonis like a dude who shredded Really handsome like a male model yeah, so they take this thing home, and it's like now We got a guilt-free servant, so you got to stop bitching about it lady. That's what like the husband's thinking

but so the robots design not only to complete the tasks around the house but to like read your subtle cues and Be like I'm going to take the initiative to do this thing that I think you want me to do because that's how advanced I am So that goes off the rails pretty quickly because it starts interpreting the wife's Look as like oh, I think she's horny for me So I'm going to start flirting with her doing all these things The husband immediately becomes jealous, and he's like what the fuck you gotta stop flirting with uh Henry. That's his name Henry He's like stop it like just fucking he's here to do the work you fired the staff Now you're getting all horny for the robot cut that shit out and she's like, okay. I'm sorry. I'm sorry

So this goes on and then for almost no reason I'll say actually no reason whatsoever As this is happening The husband and the robot have gay sex. There's no buildup to it. It's not like they have looks at each other. There's no, he's just a gay guy, obviously. The husband is just a closet homosexual. So here's the buildup.

What race is the robot? White. I could have thought of that. They're all white, everyone's white. I was picturing light skinned black guy. Well, you can't hire a black robot. White people already think black people are robots. Oh yeah.

Well you know. But so, no there's not really a buildup. He makes the guy help him shave essentially. That's gay. In the middle of that, he's like naked because he just got out of the shower. But the husband's like, it's a robot. I can be naked in front of a robot, cares, but then the robot gets naked and you're like is the robot

Interpreting that he wants to have gay sex do you see full dong in this movie? No, no, you don't see dong So do you see them fuck so here's what you see is the guy starts shaving him the robots are shaving him And then he comes in for a little smooch He kisses him on the lips and then the guys like what? He's like I That kind of made me horny. So then the robot goes down starts sucking him off Like the robot goes down he's like sucking him off and then it gets all steamy And it just cuts to the next day and the husband is he's like wakes up

Robots like I made your breakfast order to go The robots like I made it to go cuz you kind of woke up late and then Awkward about the gay sex the robots awkward about the gay sex and the husband robots like embarrassed He's either like it made to go like yeah, they wouldn't really look at him And then the husband's like he's walking out and he stops and he's like by the way Henry Never made I gotta go and he leaves goes to work So then that very same day the wife is getting like her daily deep tissue massage And the robots like I think she wants to fuck

The robots are giving her a massage she flips over and he goes comes down Kisses her other lips gives her a little smooch thinking like I think that's all it kind of takes for these guys But she's like whoa whoa whoa Henry, what are you doing Henry? What the hell Henry? Yeah? Henry and so then she kind of storms off and She tells her husband like Henry tried to fuck me and he kissed me on the lips. And then the husband's like, you fucking whore. I knew you were horny for Henry this whole time. Now you're kissing him and you're naked

making him a sassy, you fucking whore. Fuck you bitch. And then he storms off and he goes to work and then she's all distraught. And then she, off and he goes to work and then she's all distraught And then she Henry sees her sad Henry the robot sees her kind of sad and bummed out and he's like what's wrong? You seem sad And she goes yeah I told my husband that you kissed me. He called me a stupid whore and he ran off to work

So Henry's like well That makes him. Hmm, well let me eat your pussy, it'll make you feel better. No, Henry goes, hmm, curious, because that makes him a bit of a hypocrite. And she goes, she's like, what, why? Why does that make him a hypocrite?

What are you talking about? She goes, well, because I had gay sex with him How he braids to her, but he didn't say the same thing yeah, we had we had gay sex We were in last night. Yeah, I think actually yeah, and and then she knows the robot can't lie So she's like oh my god What she's now? She's like my husband had gay sex and he's mad at me cuz he kissed you kissed me without my permission this so she flips out drive straight to his office and goes like

You had gay sex with Henry. What is this? What's going on? Why what's and then you're mad at me and then the guy breaks down and he's like, I don't fucking know He's like I think I get Was that really yeah. Yeah, he sits down on the floor like next to his desk He's like I think I gave her Henry. I don't really know. He's just so perfect. He's perfect And then so they both they're both just like distraught. And they're like, okay, no more sex with Henry. Like let's just go back.

They go like, we're taking him, like we gotta get him fixed or we gotta go take him back to the factory. I don't know. So they call the guy that made Henry and they're like, okay. They're like, okay, you gotta come over right now. We got some issues with the robot that you sold us. So he comes over and they say, okay, so he tried to fuck me, he fucked my husband.

He's supposed to be doing chores. Like, what are you? It's like a Roomba that just started bugging the family. So this guy, who's this creepy guy who wears like a sort of like a black turtleneck with like a little collar and he's like, he's like, I think that's a glitch. It's a glitch. Like some hell of a glitch. He's fucking my husband. He says, let me take, let me take a look. Oh, you're the gay switch on. But so then he goes like, I'll take a look. Let me take a look at me take it back to the charging station

We'll get them all figured out and then so they disappear and they're like they're so pissed that they're like we're going to the factory Where they make them I'm not waiting for this guy. I don't know where they went. They go to the factory FBI's everywhere FBI surrounding this is so funny 30 years ago. We had a t1000 now we have Henry In the future Robots are fucking your husband's ass But they realize the FBI they're like, oh god, there must be all these robots must be fucking the guys and everybody So the FBI is like, oh you have one of the robots We got to get back to your house right now and get our eyes on this robot ASAP and then we go okay come with us They go back to the house and the guy who sold him the robot now. It's a shotgun. He started it like a rainbow

Any fucking blows like five He was like a nerdy square like scientists and now he's just like in the woods like blowing guys away. So then he's Rudolphing him. So then so then that now he's about to turn the shotgun on them. Yeah, and he's like, sorry guys This went off the rails, but I have to kill you now and then Henry runs out of nowhere to and like T 1000 his hand is his cock. He's just like going through his eyeballs. He jumps out like with his legs

with his cock right in his ass. But then so like fucking runs out of there where tackles him, disarms him, bashes his brains and kills him. So now they're like, whoo, thank you, Henry. You saved our lives. You still fucked my husband. You tried to fuck me.

But you just saved my, you saved our lives here. I can't believe he didn't fuck both of them I can't believe it's all I know that's wild it that is narratively as a we go yeah yeah but then so Henry's all depressed now and he's like I can't believe what they made me he's like I'm an abomination they made me put them my programming I make them program to fuck everyone and now I must destroy myself besides he has to kill himself yeah he and he does it so focus that yeah so he

gets a knife stabs himself in the stomach and tears his guts out and then you think it's gonna be wires and things. But it's intestines. It's not a robot. Yeah, and then the big twist is they go, they realize as they see the intestines, oh my god, he was a human the whole time. He was a human.

So you find out the guy was just like drugging people and convincing them with their robots. So now they realize, like okay, first of all, why did we fall for this? There's no tech even close to making a robot that looks like a real human. Yeah. And dumbest people have ever been.

And then he fucked both of us basically. And now he killed himself, and like we look like idiots. And then. Egg on our face. Yeah. We go, we go fool face our slave kill himself he fucked this thing go self gay sex with my husband then now he's dead now we have five dead FBI agents and a dead guy that thinks he's a robot so then it cuts and

then it like fades the black they're hugging like I can't believe he was human like how we stupid Like rain man hitting Also the guy fucking chugged his common fuck them, how do you not the husband fucked the rope? How would you like yeah, they definitely chugged each other's come But then like so it's like Whitney be like, oh, it's the most fucking realistic robot in the world Who's designing a robot like that like in case he wants a fucking But then so it fades the black and I go it goes like five years later and They're in a park and they've recovered and they're happy happy couple again, and they're having a picnic

They're having a picnic and then you see like a little five-year-old boy running around the park And you just like they go like oh Henry come over They did the kid after the guy You know the robot and then so and then they, and then they whispered to you, like, you know, one day we're gonna have to tell him about Henry. The guy that fucked my husband. A robot.

They named him after a brainwashed drug addict, sex deviant. MK Ultra victim. Also, what's that conversation gonna be when they finally tell him? Son, when you were just a speckle in my eye, I had sex with a guy I thought was a robot. What's it called? Likewise life like life like and this is gonna be review It's a preview for our new movie review

You know no we can do this at the end of episode Joey watches a movie because Joey's the greatest of all time like rehashing a movie by the joy He's in a job. You're the funniest guy movie. By the way, Joey, I love you. Amazing job, you're the funniest guy I've ever met in my life. I love you so, so much. I love you more, I love you more than John. Oh my God. And you love me more than John.

No, I mean, I think- And we all love Logan the most. And that's what's important here. I love everybody that listens to this goddamn show. It's the best show on earth. Yeah, we are. Yeah Fuck you every show sucks, but we're the Show on earth every podcast is a piece of shit, but we're the best one

Fentanyl strips on Instagram. Yeah, stop send offering the semi. Oh, yeah I was really gay for like caring about you. I got the same out of you. Yeah Oh, I just want to give a quick ranking Podcast wise I would say it goes us Oh yeah, everyone said I was really gay for like caring about your guys. I got the same amount of heat, don't worry about it. Oh, I just want to give a quick ranking podcast-wise. I would say it goes us, David Lucas goes fishing with Kyle Renouse. Yeah. I think that's, I think the top two. Connor, I mean, Connor's the one that's in this industry.

It's very, very interesting to me that he like keeps trying to like start wars. Connor, like obviously- I'm being sincere, dude. What the fuck was that? I don't know, I didn't even sound. You keep trying to spin it like he's being sarcastic. Yeah, you're being a fucking asshole, dude. Yeah, I love when people go fishing.

I don't know any of these people. I like when he fishes too. Yeah, so what the fuck is the problem? I actually like, I don't know, all right, okay. Yeah, what the fuck are you doing? Joey and I fish for men. Yeah. The way Christ did. Exactly. Yeah, and I fish for men. Yeah, the way Christ did exactly

With a high-powered rifle Let's send this bitch. Yeah, what do we got going on August and several Joel, please come? At the Virgil It's gonna be so fine tickets to cringe at the Virgil August 10th. Yes Ticket link is in my bio on Instagram. There we go. Go to the 429 boy. There we go. All right, I I love you guys with all my heart. I love you too, buddy. Sober up, pal I love every listener of the show Not what you were saying before yeah, no, I'm actually fucking lush piece of shit

I don't I'm not drunk at all You should have seen the mountain Mezcali poured into his cup before we went down here. He's hammering It was boobies right now. Yeah, you're fucking fucked right now. You shut up fat. I mean look at this shit I finished that that was crazy All right Let's go Oh did Devon have to go to the bathroom did he drink a lot of liquids is he hyd? Fuck you You've never gone to the bathroom. Actually. I'm high. Yeah, I know I don't think you have cuz I care about the show unlike you

You don't care about truly. No, that's silly You're a psychopath You're the worst boss ever had every time I go Studio it's like Dante entering the deepest pit of hell and Devon's a half-submerged Lucifer in a lake of ice and I sit here and I go I haven't had a drink in fucking eight days No, I'm fine. I come here and I have a bunch of whiskey and I have to Hope you enjoyed the show patreon.com slash hate watch podcast patreon.com slash hate watch podcast check us out We are going to be introducing

a lot of new tiers. It's gonna be fun. Also go to YouTube and hit subscribe, just do that. Yeah, please subscribe. We have a comically low amount of subscribers for the views. The views should match in some capacity. It makes absolutely no sense. Just subscribe to the stupid Patreon.

I say unsubscribe. The YouTube, the YouTube. I mean, at the end of the day, YouTube hates us and we're lucky to even be allowed on that thing at this point. But you know, come on, things are changing. The tides are changing. Mark Zuckerberg dresses like a fucking Puerto Rican

that plays Dice in the Bronx. Things are rapidly changing. Have you seen Mark Zuckerberg? No. Let's end it at that. Let's pull him up. Let's end it at that. Let's pull him up. You gotta pull him up now.

He looks like the Dominicans in the Field of Jane remake. Yeah, he looks like a Dominican. I have not seen this. By the way, we're working our fucking asses off. We're gonna be working our asses off the next few lines. We're gonna be doing a lot of work. We're gonna be doing a lot of fucking work. But it's not work. For you guys.

It's not really work. It's not work. It's play. It's not work to me, bub. It's not work because we love you. It's not work, it's play, my friend. I worked on an oil field one summer, I gotta tell you it was hard. They worked us like horses Nothing like what we do here. Yeah, that actually is true. This is the toughest thing I've ever done in my life

No, we're gonna we're introducing a lot of new tears. We're introducing a we are going to watch movies twice a month and We are going to watch movies twice a month. And then once every three months, we are going to do seven episodes in a row. Stay with your current tier, guys. It'll be jocquic. These new tiers are trash. Okay, well, I would say wait.

That's one of the issues with doing a show like with a guy like Joey, is that it's impossible to ever grow. Let us figure out the tiers before you go subscribing. Don't get hasty We'll send them out. This is what I'm excited about remember that day We hit because Joey was like out of town we had to do three shows in a row and we and it was the best Shit we ever did

Fathers they say was the best up if you get am seven episodes in a row if you get that every three months That is what is that? fucking now where the That's 28 episodes extra a year. Yes, so that's 28 extra hours. Hopefully you subscribe Hopefully coffee liquor God bless you pancakes. God bless you don't don't fund John's Obesity that's what they should be spending that money. See ya