Hate Watch with Devan Costa - Goof Threat (Patreon Bonus)

Episode Date: December 25, 2023

Merry Christmas! In this Patreon episode Joey's ODD is on full display as we try to recover from his terrorism. A drug addict pulls a gun out on soft white underbelly, Andy Leventhal, more arguing with each other. https://www.patreon.com/HateWatchPodcast

You nervous Nelly? Welcome to the Hatewatch podcast. We just recorded what we thought was a public episode. Oh wow. It's immediately, it can't be. It can't be due to massive legal issues. I didn't know it was going to be a podcast with a couple of chucks. Joey, you know the footage of the car going off the cliff and then exploding in the air?

It was such an honest, straightforward goof. If only people heard the thing I just said to Joey, I'd go, Joey, you called in a bomb threat to a massively famous legal company. Law office. Law office. There's a fat Midwestern secretary. And Joey has his fingers like this. He goes, no.

He's a defenseman. I'm the only one liable. You don't understand bomb threats these days. Nobody will be. Nothing will happen. Bomb threats are pretty simple. Bomb threats, no one gets in trouble for a bomb threat. No, no, no.

So what they didn't hear, the listeners, is that before we started this, Devin and John were both saying like, oh, we could get sued for everything. I'm going to give a play by play as to what happened. Just don't say the people, the person. I'm going to give a play-by-play as to what happened. Why everybody's suit?

Go ahead. We call a very famous law office. Joseph LaFleur offers to pay a significant amount of money to represent Kohlberger. And they want to talk to a very famous probably one of the most insane defense

attorneys in the United States. It involves a huge case. He's busy. They actually check in on him. They actually check in on this guy to see if he's busy. He's unavailable. Joey then starts calling him a fake cowboy and asks him, what's he got better to do? Fly fish?

And he gets in a fight with the secretary And then gets in a fight with the secretary. Gets in a fight with the secretary. And the secretary goes, you need to get a life. And then Joey goes, well, I planted a bomb in your house. How about that? And then we hang up. It was insane. And Joey has been defending over the last 20 minutes.

Post it publicly on YouTube. 1A to it. All the info. The phone number that we gave out. The it publicly on YouTube. All the info, the phone number that we gave out, the name of the lawyer. I have to delete the whole fucking thing. It's going to be a Patreon. I have to delete the entire period.

Wipe it from history. It's protected by the First Amendment. We're not an LLC. They could take everything from me. My name's on the show. Private citizens are protected by the First Amendment. It's satire. Joey, the First Amendment doesn't cover bomb threats. We already committed a...

It doesn't cover bomb threats. The First Amendment does not cover bomb threats. If you make a bomb threat as a goof... Okay, Joey, I'm playing devil's advocate. I'm playing devil's advocate. Joseph is correct. We have a long history of satire and goofing on this show. But we don't have a long history of making

joke bomb threats. We haven't done that. Prank phone calls are an established part of talk radio. It doesn't matter. It's illegal in the state of California to call somebody and record them without their consent. Let alone a massively famous law office. What's the punishment?

What's the punishment? 500 bucks or something? 500 bucks. A prank phone call. Take me to jail. You're acting like I'm going to get a life sentence for a prank phone call. It's not that. Financially crippled? Yeah, probably.

What? Bomb threat legal. Financially crippled? What do you mean? It's like we called the people that do the thing we're afraid of. They're not going to. We weren't even pranking some regular guy. We were pranking a law office. They're not going to go to court to hopefully win some insane trial for damages.

Hey, our secretary is scared because somebody said there's a bomb in her house. You act like it's so silly. They're getting paid. My dumb secretary. Oh, there's a bomb in her house. You act like it's so silly. My dumb secretary, oh, there's a bomb in my home. Okay, well, no. It's a little scary. If you are considering making a bomb threat, do not. You will be caught and will spend a

considerable portion of your life in prison. Where did you find this? If, on the other hand, you have been accused of making a bomb threat, you should seek immediate assistance of a qualified and experienced attorney familiar with both state and federal law. Let's call them. Let's do it. Let's seek it.

Let's call them. I'll say I've been making... By the way, I've been making bomb threats for, like, years now. Nothing's ever happened. Joey, do you know the law of averages? Yeah, I do. One day something's going to happen, bud. I don't think so.

Joey, Joey, you make me. Joey, you're not fucking catch me if you can. You get drunk and you make bomb threats. You're not Frank Abagnale Jr., okay? You're a drunk that makes insane threats over the phone to people. First of all, he's scared about getting sued. That's slander. I'll see you in court.

What if we all start suing each other? Okay. That was fucking crazy. I have to cut the whole... I have to cut the first prank phone call now, too. That was harmless. What are you talking about? On the last episode we just did.

Okay. Isn't that going to be Patreon? Yeah, but it doesn't matter. I don't trust these people. You're such a cuck. They're going to call the law office. They that going to be Patreon? Yeah, but it doesn't matter. I don't trust these people. You're such a cunt. They're going to call the law office. They're going to tell them what happened. Minimum, it's six months. I'll do six months. I can't let that

happen, bud. I can do six months standing on my head. I can't let that happen, pal. You're my best friend. I can't do that. The thing is, we're all... They're going to take everything from me. My name's on the podcast. They could sue me for everything that I have, which isn't much,

but my parents just put the fucking house in my name. And that's... It's my family childhood home, and I'm not losing it because of you and your dumb shit. What's going to be their argument? Hey, some drunkard in Devin's basement made a bomb threat, and so now they owe us a million dollars. Listen to how crazy you sound.

You sound like a moron. You sound like a cuck. You sound like a coward. You made a violent threat to a law office. What are you hearing? You committed yourself, you recorded yourself. It was wrong. It was inappropriate.

But we're not going to lose our houses. This is insane. No, I think. We're not going to lose our houses. This is insane. No, I think. We're being hysterical. You're both being hysterical. I think odds are nothing happens. Thank you. Odds are nothing happens.

Thank you. There's a very, very, very, not slim, but decent chance. Slim is. You're going to get a visit from somebody. Understanding is slim. I think there's a. I would say a one in a million. No, I think there's a pretty decent chance.

Listen, guys, I don't have enough to let this happen. I think there's a pretty decent chance Devin's going to get a knock on his door. Guess what? If I put it out. No, I think now. You guys don't understand. We're protected by...

No, you're not protected by the First Amendment. Oh, yes, we are. You can't make terroristic threats and then say I'm protected by the First Amendment. Actually, if you have an established history of comedy and satire, you definitely can. Well, you're still going to get a nah. That's not... I would love a nah.

It's not even satire to be like, I'm going to kill you. It's absurd. How's that satire? It's not satire, but it's absurdity. It's comedy. It's absurd. It's silly. Everybody knows that I'm not going to make a bomb and put it in their house.

Nobody knows that on that line, Joe. But they don't care if they can take shit from you and fuck with you. We can prove that I have an established history of making goofs. Joey. What is this established history of making goofs?

On the podcast, Goofy making goofs all the time. God damn it. Oh, God. Let's role play, Joey. Let's role play. Okay. I'm a literal special agent with the Federal Bureau of Investigation from the offices in Los Angeles.

I'm ready. Right? I could be with Homeland Security. Okay? I show up. I knock on your door. Keep in mind, I am a 50-year-old white man who regularly tracks terrorists. Look at Joey Echley.

He actually has the world by the balls. He's a fucking maniac. So here, Joey, you ready? Joey, you ready? I'm ready, yes. Hello, who is it? Hi, this is Special Agent Crocker with the Federal Bureau of Investigation out of Los Angeles. Can I come in?

No, take a hike. Do you want to set a time to talk to us? No, get a warrant, cocksucker. You call them a cocksucker? Okay. No, I'll make it easy. I'll make it easy. Okay.

Sure. So I'm going to go. I'm going to go. Okay, sure. So I'm going to go. I'm going to go. We have a report about you calling a law office, which is a target for bomb threats, like a major target for bomb threats is law offices. Let's put that out there.

And making a bomb threat. I just wanted to for you to explain yourself. So this isn't the one about the White House? No. Okay. Okay. yourself okay so this isn't the one about the white house no okay okay yeah i go so uh the times square bomb no not that one okay wait which one the law oh yeah so what about it what was so funny about that it's just one of the funniest things in the world to me when i tell someone there's a bomb in their house okay so you have two special agents that are they they look like they look like the cop from terminator 2 and they're looking at you going what's so funny

about that i go to me nothing makes me i have a quirky sense of humor nothing makes me laugh harder than telling somebody that there's a bomb in their house so i know it's weird but it's i'm on a comedy podcast and it's quite wacky. And we do crazy jokes like that, but you can check it out. You also do plenty of these not on a comedy podcast. He's going to go, okay, so put your hands behind your back. You're under arrest for admitting

doing a bomb threat to a law office. It's just like when a rapper in a song says he murdered somebody and that gives the exact location. Put your hands behind your back. Let these U.S. Marshals take you away. I go, you could arrest me, but you might get exploded by the bomb. Because I'm wearing a vest.

I'm wearing a vest right now. And I can activate it whenever I want. You want to take me to jail? You want to take that risk? Then put me in cuffs, fat boy. That's what I would say. You're funny as always. You're so funny.

You're my favorite person on earth. Well, here's the thing. They could take me to jail. You're not digging yourself out of this hole. It's insane. What you just did was insane. Okay, no, they could take me to jail. You made that, which is now a Patreon episode,

you made it like 55 minutes long. We have to cut like about eight minutes. There's those rat traps. Maybe in five years, these people will give them the audio of that. If you cut it on Patreon, I was saying release it on the main YouTube. Bro, these people on Patreon are still, they're going to do something with it. I can't in good conscience put that out publicly. You made a crazy threat to a legal office.

It was so funny until you made the bomb threat. It's protected. That was the funniest part. What is protected? There's nothing protected about violent threats. There's George Washington and Thomas Jefferson are writing the constitution. We have to protect those cuts. Protect bomb threats. There's George Washington and Thomas Jefferson are riding the Constitution. We have to protect those countries. Protect bomb threats.

At all costs. To keep this country going. We all have... We have the right to life and the pursuit of happiness and making bomb threats to the law offices in fucking Texas. That's called the freedom of speech.

And you're allowed to express... That's not the freedom of speech. You're allowed to criticize... That's not the freedom of speech. You're allowed to criticize... You're allowed to criticize... It's not a criticism, Joey. That's a threat. A bomb threat's not a criticism. It's not like, I don't... Your home's not hot enough. I want to light it on fire with a bomb. No, because...

How's that a criticism? Can you turn the heat up? Well, I will for you. I'm going to plant a bomb in your home. How's that a criticism? Because the... It's a bomb in your house how's that a criticism because the it's uh don't don't come on it's criticism because i'm basically saying you guys are defense attorneys you're defending the worst people on planet earth you're letting killers run free you're disgusting he's already mapped it out he's mapped out like a four-year like trial in his head exactly it's

literally and then year two, I'll go with the idea that they're defense lawyers and they're scumbags already. And then as making a parody out of what they do defending criminals, I'm now committing a crime. So you're going to get the Ted Bundy

result where you're just like, the guy's like, God damn it, son, you're the funniest guy I've ever heard in my life. I've got to block my life I gotta block the number are they calling back? no because you called them from my phone that's not gonna do anything they have metadata Devin you're fucked you guys are so

Devin it's done well I'm still blocking them they blocked us we can't do anything I'm on a cuck fucking podcast Joey very cute inside your brain it's just a rat in a fucking We can't do anything. I'm on a cuck fucking podcast. Joey. Very cute, Joey. I'm not cute. Joey, inside your brain, it's just a rat in a fucking four-gallon bucket

just trying to scurry its way up the fucking walls. It's insane watching you do backflips. I mean, it's wild. It was so funny. It was the best thing ever. It would have been a great episode. And then the bomb. But even then, we were already doing something illegally.

Even without the bomb. But that was naughty to the point where I would have been okay. So you guys, yeah, you all would have been okay with it. Your name's not on the fucking show. You're just some auxiliary characters that show up. Hey, bud. They take me for everything. They take me for everything.

They're going to take me for everything. He would lose a lot of pussy. No, that's gonna get him more they love women love a bad boy that's why joey does this shit joey you're trading going on like you know just like running from the police and women are like flashing him like we love you in the floor it is crazy that like the hot chicks listen to this podcast and i've met like a couple of cool yeah it's pretty but it's not i'm not doing i'm not doing this because of that i'm telling you right now i actually believe this this is not

me trying to be funny i actually truly believe and i'll call my friend who's a lawyer call him right now call your friend call your friend that's a lawyer right now let's get this she's gonna laugh or devon uh devon caller say my call you. Do you have her number? Yeah, yeah. Hold on. You know, hold on. I'm getting a fucking subpoena right now. My sister's a lawyer, too.

Devin's phone's just been locked by the fucking... Put it on Bluetooth. It's on Bluetooth. Call him. I don't know the number. I'll tell you. Welcome to the Haywatch Podcast, folks. Jesus Christ.

My sister just tried to call me, weirdly. And she's a lawyer. She's like, hey, they're raiding the house, folks. Jesus Christ. My sister just tried to call me, weirdly, and she's a lawyer. She's like, hey, they're raiding the house, Joey. What's going on? Hey, Joey, there's a bunch of guys. They are 15 stacked up in front of the front door. I told them you're not here and that you moved to Los Angeles. We probably

shouldn't. I don't want to call my sister because... No, don't call your sister. Call your friend. No, yeah, I don't want to call my sister. I don't care about your sister's... Well, she's a lawyer. Yeah, I don't want to call my sister. Don't call your sister. Call your friend. Don't call your sister. I don't care about your sister. She's a lawyer. I don't trust her legally. She's a really good lawyer. If she comes from the same cloth as you, she's out of her mind.

She's like, Bob, that's a fine. You can actually shoot up a lot. She's nothing like me. She's very responsible. Go. She usually doesn't answer my calls because I call her hammered with shit like this. No, this is my friend.

All right, so the call's not gone through yet. Let's go. God. iPhones suck. Says it's calling, but ain't nothing happening. Are you sure the audio's linked up? Yeah.

Even if it's like... This is bullshit. Is this even a real number? It's working on mine. No, that's mine. Why is it working on mine? No, I'm fine. I don't know.

She knows not to answer. This is your sister or your buddy? My buddy. Is this Pooja? Don't say her name. She knows not to answer. God damn it, pooch. Okay, so all my lawyers...

Much like your fucking... Yeah, that failed much like your defense team. Okay, shut up. I'm calling my sister. Yeah, let's call somebody with the last name LeFleur to help out with insanity. FaceTime? Hey, wait a minute. You're on a podcast, so be careful

what you say. Oh, God. Okay. I'm not sure I'm interested in that. Well, if you want to hang up, you can at any moment, but let me just pitch this to you. You don't have to respond. You don't have to say anything. If you're interested in responding, then you can. Basically, what happened was

we prank phone called somebody from the state of California in responding than you can. So basically what happened was we prank phone called somebody from the state of California and we prank phone called a famous defense attorney. What's their name? We're not saying their name. It's one of the most famous defense attorneys. Famous defense attorney.

And in part of the prank I ended up saying that I planted a bomb in their house. In the secretary's house that got pissed planted a bomb in their house in the secretary's house in the house of the secretary and so i'm saying i'm protected by the first amendment because of like parody law and stuff like also tell them we're not allowed to prank call people outside of california yeah so so let her speak so recording a prank phone call is illegal, but it's probably like a $500 fine or something. But Devin's concerned that he's going to get sued for his entire house about this.

Because we don't have Teller. We don't have an NRO. I haven't created an LLC. I think she knows. There's no LLC. Logan, do you have any insight? I mean, you said this on his podcast for sure you are you're gonna be you're exposed to liability me yes exactly that's what i've been trying to say for sure thank you um so i'm liable

that's what i've been saying um is devon you know i'd have to analyze that but but what is the worst case scenario could anyone ever be sued? Are there damages that could ever be imagined that would take a house from a person on this? I would imagine there are no damages. Thank you. Thank you. Did anything bad happen? No, I just thought he threatened violence against the league, a famous lawyer.

So, so was he harmed in any way because of what? So, so Devin saying that there might be psychological harm. Like I'm scared. That doesn't count. That doesn't count. Thank you. I mean, okay. So it depends.

Sometimes you can get some kind of damages, or there might be per se defamation. But it would be a very small amount. It would be a very small amount. Also tell her that you named the podcast to them. I said the name of the podcast. And if we post it publicly, it's already illegal to call somebody. I think that settles it.

Thank you. Ma'am. Ma'am. We have more questions. Wait. What can happen to Joey? Small fine. Joey, there's probably some criminal liability.

Small fine. They said minimum six months in prison. Yeah, John looked something up on the internet. He thinks everyone's a lawyer. He looks something up on Google. Logan, you probably know about these kinds of people. Let her speak. Honestly, John, he sounds like a reputable source.

He's a good guy. I love him, but he's going on the internet. Joey acts like getting some FBI agents knocking on his door for making a bomb threat to a law office. One of the most famous law offices in America. It's like no big deal. Tell her it bomb threat to a law office. One of the most famous law offices in America. No big deal. Tell her it's a extremely famous law office. Thank you so much. I'm going to hang up.

No, no. I want more info. She said what she said. We're safe to post it. That's your own flesh and blood. She always signs against me, to be honest. We argue. Our good friend we met at the bar the other night, he just passed the law. Call him.

I don't know who that is. Who the fuck are you talking about? Somebody who's not going to be a friend of yours. Remember, we sat down with him. Oh, this is going to be like your friend. At the Irish bar. This is bull. Don't say his name.

Oh, oh, right, right. No, dude, call him. Yeah, because it's going to be our friend. It's going to be like Richie or something. No, no, no. Yeah, it's going to be Richie. It's Richie or something. No, no. Yeah, it's gonna be Richie. It's Richie, yeah. Legal advice.

It's the name of this episode. Legal advice. Let's see if he picks up. He's a reclusive man. Can't wait to see this fucking fraud This fraud Anyone that gives you back Pushback

John's lawyers don't even answer his calls Joey you didn't really do much You didn't show me much You called a family member She's a lawyer What type of law does she do She's risking being disbarred if she gives bad legal advice. And so she gave us, she told us her legitimate opinion.

She said she's, this is not, she's not liable for any of that. She didn't sound like she was aware that it's already illegal to record phone calls. No, she did. She said, yeah. She said there could possibly be criminal charges there, but there's damages. She said there could possibly be criminal charges there, but there's damages. She said damages are absolutely absurd to think that a house could be taken for something like this. So, anyway, I say we move on.

I think I settled it. I called a lawyer. Yeah. Yeah, you settled it. Let's do some more bomb threats, Joey. Who do you want to call? You want to call the White House? I would love that.

You know I would. You would call the white house i would love that you know i would you would call the white house of course i would you would call somebody why doesn't call it a bomb threat to the white house john thoughts joey um i think like joey has that fucking thing that's wrong with his brain that that free climb guy has the free solo guy joey joey joey i don't you're mentally unwell you might be right yeah you have a deep-seated issue you have a weird some weirds happen to you bud something's something like it's you and like like you're you have like the you have like the uh the the adversity to danger like a guy who just did two tours in Vietnam has. You're about to go shoot up

a VFW somewhere. You're unable to gauge actual danger because you've lived such a sheltered cuck life. You're a cuck. I've been like, I've faced more like random acts of violence than both of you me and Devin had the most random act of violence

yeah God tried to kill us a guy held up a Bic lighter I've had a machete in my face I've had a machete in my face I've been I have to you know it's not like you're you are kind of suicidal.

No, you're, he's, what the hell? Joey, I think you do, you do things, you do things publicly that you're asking for.

You want something to happen. You want something to happen. You want something to happen. You're like, you're sitting there. You're cruising for a bruise. You know what I want to happen? You're cruising for a bruise.

Here's what I want to happen. You're cruising for a bruise. Entertainment on a podcast. That's what I want to happen. And I'm trying to give it to the fans. You're not giving... You're doing the opposite. You're being cussed.

No, I am. Well, that was amazing. That was hilarious. That was the funniest thing I've ever heard in my life. Okay. On the Patreon, subscribe. You can hear it.

Subscribe to the Patreon. You'll hear the crazy thing. Man, that was insane. Dude, that was one of the craziest things you've done not recorded. I'm just happy. I hang out with you all the time. You do insane things where I'm like, I can't believe it,

and I don't know how we're not arrested. You did that publicly. Record it. Wild, wild of you. And now I have a lot of bleeping to do. I have to figure out how to bleep shit in post. God damn you. I still think there's nothing wrong with it, but I say we move on.

All right, we'll move on. We we... Alright, we'll move on. We'll move on. Should we... You want to watch some of this Judge McBain? What about Gio Bonito? Gio Bonito with I Survived a Crime?

Could you put... Could we do... Oh, no. This is the main app. This is the main app now. I fucking Oh, no, this is the main app. This is the main app now. I fucking forgot. Yeah, this is the main app now. God damn it. You've changed a lot here in the last 20 minutes, bub.

The Lemon Party fame is going to your head. You haven't been on the show and you're like the most famous member of the fucking band. You know, that's... It's going to your head. I'm a big... You know, like every celebrity, I'm calling in bomb threats to...

Yeah. You never... Brad Pitt had a whole period of his life where he couldn't stop calling in bomb threats. Remember when Colin Farrell started calling in bomb threats? Okay, I want to watch this video. Did you guys go on Reddit ever? I do. Did you see this video today? This guy trying to cheat on his wife at the gym?

You gotta put it on the thing. I can't. I didn't see this. It's fucking really good. This guy is such a retard. He goes up to this... Okay, real quick. He goes up to this woman at the gym doing leg lifts or whatever, and he just, like, he, like, is trying to get her to fuck him,

and then he just says, like, I am married. Well, what? It's a fascinating idiot. Fascinating idiot. Silly question. I know you don't like coffee. Yeah.

And I know you don't. But I know you eat cereal. I know you eat cereal in the evening. Yeah. And I know you have a son. I know you have a son. Right? Yeah. And I know you don't. And I know you eat cereal. I know you eat cereal in the evening. And I know you have a son. Right? Yes. And I know you're about 30.

That's what I've learned so far. That's what I've learned so far. I think you're really cool. I know you have a son. I'll tell you straight up, I kind of feel married. I kind of feel that I am kind of sort of married. She's like, that's cool.

She's like, you know, she's... She wants to get out of this. There's something. I love... Men are such retards know there's something about you that's really cool uh there's something i love men are such retards there's something about you that's like really cool it makes maybe it's the fact you have like you have like two tits and a big ass and like a vagina i just think that's really cool about you you're just so cool I just want to hang out with you in my treehouse and just be cool. You want to be cool with me? I just don't know what it is. I'm just at the gym every day.

I go to the bathroom in between workouts and I just jack off to how cool you are. Just think about how cool you are. You probably like really cool music. You probably like the Smiths. You're just so cool. And Probably like the Smiths. You're so cool.

Those tits are cool. I bet those tits listen to cool music. Your ass is just so cool. There's something about you that's so cool. I don't know what it is. I don't know what it is. I have a wife and kids at home. I just bought a home.

I just bought a home. But you're just so cool. Men are so sad. Yeah, there's like two forms of men. It's like this guy and then a guy calling a law office and making bomb threats. I'm somehow both of those men. You're both. You do both of these at the same time.

It's like the most low functioning. You have a burner phone for hitting on women at the gym. And then you say you have family. You have another burner phone for calling in bomb threats to massive uh lawyers famous lawyers like just casual but i don't know if you would have a piece of it sometime or something but i'm pretty sure your wife is not yeah yeah he just starts loading yeah you're right it's more loading more weight on the thing and he's like let me spy spy you real quick. You're right. My wife would not approve of that.

She hates cool people. My wife hates people that are cool. That's the thing. My wife's not cool. Here's the thing, though. This guy could be a stud. My wife's not cool like you. Her tits are small, and her ass sucks.

But you're cool. You have big tits and a nice ass. That's cool to me. His wife doesn't get him. That's what she doesn't get. My wife just doesn't get me. I'm always like bringing up cool things and like

showing her cool movies and shows and stuff, but she's just not cool like you. I could tell you'd like what I show you. Right, exactly. Like my micropenis. If I showed you my like what I show you. Right, exactly. Like my micro penis. If I showed you my micro penis in the bathroom of Planet Fitness, would you fuck

me? Because you're so cool. Oh, God. John, isn't it sad and hard to watch? It's crazy. No, I'm still reeling about the bomb threat. I know, I still can't get over it. I can't believe what the work I have to do now. It's wild. So many beeps. Now you're being dramatic. So many beeps. So many beeps. Now you're being dramatic.

So many beeps and bloops. You're being very dramatic. Blurs and... Jesus. I might just cut the whole fucking thing. Shut up. Two hours. She goes, I'm glad you're up front.

She's pretty cool. The fact that she didn't go like, you're a fucking idiot loser. Get the fuck away from me. It's like she's being nice. Right. No, no, no. No, no. That's why I said.

Oh, no. Of course. That's why I said. That's why I said I have a wife. Because I'm like a good guy. I'm like transparent. I'm a transparent, honest man. That's why I said I have a wife.

But if you ever tell her, I'll kill you both. It's about to be crisp and wild in this gym. I won't say unfortunately because, you know. Being married's good. Being married's good. Like, sometimes you come home and, like, there's food. And, like, they did your laundry. Being married's good. Like, it's nice and stuff, but, you know, sometimes

you need other stuff, you know what I mean? You know, sometimes you need, like, other pussies and, like, other tips. Other cool people, if you will. He's, like, doing yo-yo tricks. He's like an autistic guy at the gym. Do you know how many butterflies there are in North America? Anyway, you're really

cool. I have a wife and kids at home. This just reminds me of that test they give the robots in fucking Blade Runner. Right. It's the third. Being married is cool. Being married is very cool. Do you want to get pizza sometime? Imagine you come across a married man in your gym and he wants to get pizza He's baking in the hot Sun

Somebody with like fresh labia, that's what I've always been told sometimes you need somebody with like this hot at the gym It helps your life. It's like, man, because you're so cool. The way, you're just so cool. Yeah, I don't know. Yeah, I don't know, but, yeah. Like, it's, my connection wouldn't be your connection. Blank go with the flow by Queen's Stone Age in the background. Oh, it's cool. She goes, don't make us lose faith in men and humanity.

For sure, bro. For sure. He's like, for sure. He's like, you're so right. He's like, you're so right. What is she saying? I can't. It's been cut off.

She goes, I mean, I don't blame you. I'm not mad at you. At least you're honest. Okay. Did she try to fuck him at the end? No, no, no. Oh, okay. Yeah, no.

She just can't believe what's happening. She can't believe the situation. Does this guy just admit he has a wife? And then here, here's the best part. He goes, you'll probably meet my wife. She'll be here. Oh, I thought the guy was filming. No, she was filming herself do a workout and this guy just fucking outed

himself as a cheater. Yeah, it's wild. He sounds so fucking fake to me. You know, I think it's unfair to you. This is 100% real. She's flabbergasted by this. Yeah, she wants to end

this as quick as possible. The best scenario is... I think probably the best scenario is like, you lick my ass while I jack off on your face. And then maybe I'll kill my wife and kids and we can go on the run together. I think that's because you're so cool. You're just so cool.

You're so smart. You're so smart. You're just so cool. You're so smart. You're so smart. Those tits are smart. Your pussy's just so cool. If you knew my wife, and you know what I mean? Like, we were all friends. That's different.

Like, if you knew my wife, you could lie to her, too, like me, and we could be, like, in a web of lies together. Like, if you met my wife, you'd realize, her too, like me, and we could be in a web of lies together. If you met my wife, you'd realize how easy she is to lie to, and then we could have a life together, and then that stupid bitch could raise my dumb retard kids. John, thoughts? Any additions?

This is, oh, Jesus Christ. You're just wiped out. I'm not wiped. John just landed. All day, John just twirls plates at work. No, no, no. He's a carnival worker. He landed in LA.

He's a Barnum and Bailey character. I can't believe these two things happened. I know. Hey, you're telling me. You know how much, you're telling me. You know how much work I have to figure out? That's so funny.

It's like we're trying to move past this. We're trying to move past the most insane thing I've ever seen Joey do that we happen to record. It's not even top ten. It's not that crazy. It's actually not as crazy as... You weren't there the night that I woke up and Joey was calling Chase Bank and calling a bomb to the Chase Bank I mean forget about bomb threats

prank phone calls are silly and they're fun prank phone calls already illegal in the state of California record without somebody's consent also let alone the fact that we call the law office of a famous lawyer and then you set a bomb threat to the secretary and you named our show.

It's like the Jerky Boys First Amendment parody law. Let's just keep watching this. Why are we talking about this? Jerky Boys aren't even in California, are they? They're in New Jersey. Right, where it's legal. I just, you know. It's not, it's like It's like I'm chasing the dragon. They just weren't cucks. They weren't cucks. Sure, we're cucks.

Yeah, we're cucks, bud. You are cucks. You'll probably meet her sometime. You'll probably meet my wife sometime she hasn't been but she does come oh he's trying to find a third woman for his polyamorous i yeah i thought that too but i don't actually i think that was i think he started saying that getting rejected getting rejected he got rejected and he was like oh yeah anyways my wife wants to meet you i i think he panicked and he was like, no, no, it's like cool. We're in like an open thing. Don't tell her. I'll kill you. But we're an open thing.

But if you ever, if you ever like talk to her, I'll fucking stab you both. Yeah. Like, hey, uh, yeah. Anyways, like she's open with it. But remember Scott Peterson? He goes, hey, I'm like really cool. Like everyone in my life like loves me. And like my wife is like totally aware of what I'm doing.

But you ever heard of Scott Peterson? Oh, fuck. Can we watch Soft White Underbelly publicly? We did. I don't know. We did it on Patreon. I don't know.

I have no idea. I think it's all up to Soft White Underbelly. I think he's cool. I think Mark Andrews is pretty sick. That's not his name. His name's Mark. Lietta. Lietta, whatever. He think he's cool. I think Mark Andrews is pretty sick. That's not his name. His name's Mark. Lieta. Lieta.

Whatever. He's cool as hell. You want to do a... I love soft one underbelly. What a bunch of... He's not in it for the money. He's actually independently... He's independently wealthy. He's doing this because he thinks it's important. He wants it to be watched.

Who should we watch? Corrupt NYPD cop? That's too long. Pimp and prostitutes interview? Kelpie, Ashley, and Chris. First of all, put it on the screen. Put it on the screen. What is the Jean-Claude Van Damme Man pulls gun on YouTuber during an interview?

Yes. Oh, I saw this the other day. He's just like a meth head. Crazy person. It's a guy that comments. We can watch this though. Damn, look at that. Woody Harrelson. Look at that. Ben Foster. Ben Foster from 310 to Yuma. Look at Ben Foster from 310 to Yuma hold a gun on the soft white underbelly guy.

He's like, you motherfucker. Heller high water, bitch. Through. I'm a Comanche. I'm a Comanche. I'm a Comanche. Look at those titties. Are you fucking kidding me? So the other night I was scrolling through YouTube and I came across this...

The guy pulls a gun on you during an interview. Did you just beat the shit out of him? It was empty, I bet. This is a guy commentating on Softlight Underbelly. This isn't even the real... You gotta get out of this well because we'd have to find i don't know where this interview is originally a bunch of places

came to america when i saw seven uh from where still continued yeah from hell was missionary kid and all that. What was your family like? It was like if James Cameron designed the Terminator to be a twink meth addict. My dad was the T-1000. Whoever's talking in the background now needs to let my man Victor. I grew up with no father, and that's why I hold guns to interview his faces. He does have a little Indiana Jones leather satchel belt. He's desperate to save the world.

I love when people interview people like this thinking they have anything to say. Right. I'm sorry. This guy's going to have some wisdom. You know, it's really hard to find a lighter for my candle. He does like every drug under the sun. He does literally everything. We understand the definition of what love is.

Shut up, you fucking drug addict. Suck me off for $20. Shut up and suck me. Shut up and suck me in an alley for $20. Scoot in, Johnny boy. You're married. Joey's gotta get out. Joey's gotta get out of here. Joey's gotta me in an alley for $20. Scoot in, Johnny boy. You're married. Joey's got to get out. Joey's got to get out of here.

Joey's got to go call in some more bomb threats. They're upstairs. Lovely lady. Who... All right, let's... Can we talk about him while he's gone?

What the fuck? What do I do here? He's so... You put the... Put it on Patreon. Remove the dumb bomb for a thing. Or don't put it on there at all well put it on patreon but we got it now because we talked but i i'll just bleep it i'll bleep that if i bleep the name of the guy if i bleep the name of the lawyer and i believe the name of the law office bleep everything and then bleep i guess bleep

bleep bleep bleep just bleep bleep but the bomb threat I should keep in because it is good content bleep everything just bleep everything I guess keep the bomb threat yeah God this guy he's so fucking funny but it's like we're just so he's the funniest man we're so pathetic and low level like I can't we I can't afford to have my whole life ruined by that

I just love the defense that I was it's like it's like you know it's like watching an animal in a trap, just like wiggle around. Oh, he's got ODD, then defends it. He'd be the only guy like being sentenced to like a hundred years in prison.

It's like, that's not true. No, no, I don't. Joey would be like, no, I don't buddy.

You'd be like, buddy, you cocksucker. Oh, electric chair? I don't think so, pal. Buster,

Buster Brown. Listen, buddy boy. Our electric chair? How about I send it to you, the electric chair? Well, it's the First Amendment. I don't understand. It was First Amendment, right, buddy?

It's like, I don't know how I could. It's so funny. You're turning on this lady getting hit on at the gym. And I'm just like, that was one of the most. No, you couldn't stop. I couldn't stop thinking about you. it was one of the most it was one of the most like uh i i started laughing so hard i started dry heaving it was one of the most exciting things that's happened like on this podcast live sad it was why i couldn't believe it happened but it was and then i realized

holy shit that was not we can't post that i just don't trust the people to not call them and shit. They will. I had a little sitch today that I'm going to get into deeper. You got called a bunch. My phone was... I got doxxed and I had a bunch of fans. Your phone was on an episode of a podcast. Episode of a podcast, I'd hour.

And she forgot to edit out my phone number. And I had like five people text me this morning, just random. Love you guys. Right? Love you guys. What makes you think I want to fucking text you? Well, they just can't believe that you forgot to hide your number.

So they're just texting you like, hey, this is funny. Yeah, you know, but it's like, you know, but I'm thinking- What was the worst thing you got? Nothing real bad at all. They were all pleasant people, but it was like, you know, I just don't want to- Did you respond to them?

I responded to one guy because I thought it was funny, you know, I just don't want to. Did you respond to them? I responded to one guy because I thought it was funny. I just said, I'm on the bus. Okay. I did a bus emoji. The rest. But,

I wonder if they're hate watch listeners or strictly Ida. I'm sure they listen to both, but the thing is, there's a lot of Ida listeners that hate me and they want me to die because they want to fuck Ida,

but. Well, yeah, there's a lot in the comments about how, you know, whatever. She's a dime bag and shit. Oh, right,da. There's a lot in the comments about how, you know, whatever. She's a dime bag and shit. Oh, right, right. There's a lot of black dudes that listen to it

and they're like, man, damn. She's like dropping bombs. I just love this podcast because I had to just start dropping bombs. I also really want to steal you and put you in my trunk. There's a picture of you that comes up on the screen. They're just like, pshh. Yeah.

You play too much. Man, i had to play too much um there's uh yeah but five people were willing to randomly text me this morning uh within you know an hour of this fucking thing being out what do you think these people are gonna do to a law office that's what i'm saying i don't i can't do it i just can't fuck because we also just said the name like if we didn't if we hit it and didn't say the guy you know

there's prank phone calls where you don't really say who you did we just the number was on his he's a silly billy he's just a big silly billy the guy's the biggest

the guy's a big silly billy if he just didn't do the bomb thread it would have been perfect it would have been great it still would have been illegal in one way the bomb thread was really but the bomb threat really took it over the top to the point it's as if somebody called in a bomb threat it was insane

and i like how he's like he's like leading with like the well can he get sued for this can he get sued for this and it's like i'm not worried about you getting sued i'm worried about you going to jail you can get like a, you could just get like handcuffed. I'm worried about you going to prison. You can't just do that. I've heard about, there's laws in place in this country. There's a lot, you're doing a lot of bomb threats. He does a lot of these things, you know. You know, what probably happened to that lady?

She said, fuck this guy, and then hung up. She probably doesn't give a shit. Or she's going around like, I just got a bomb threat. Or she's going, I work for a legal office. I don't need to do this shit. And they record every phone call. She's dealing with DUIs. The guys who just got DUIs all night.

Or guys who just murdered their wives. They're like, you know, these real Michael Clayton moments. Some dude hit some guy in a hit and run. Yeah. She's tired of these rich fucks. And then all of a sudden, Joey calls her. What are you guys talking about? We're talking about you and your mania, bud.

Okay, say what you said so I can defend myself. Nothing that we haven't already said. It was the same thing we already said. It was just funnier because you were nuts. You didn't understand how crazy that was. No, I defended myself properly. I think everybody that listened is fighting with me. Joey's going to go into court and be like,

I demand trial by combat. I demand to wrestle. Joey shoots a guy and he's like, I demand trial by combat. I demand to wrestle. Joey shoots the guy and he's like, parody law! Oh, golly. You're just a buster. Really? Because we call the lawyer who understands the law and

she agreed with me. No, you didn't phrase it the way... Yeah, you didn't tell her exactly how you did it. That's how the law works. You argue. You phrase things. To lawyers? To get advice?

To everybody. To the judge? To the jury? Everyone's doing their own spin. I mean, I don't think Devin's going to get his fucking... Johnny Cochran's going, Hey, I don't think he killed those people. Right.

Not to compare myself to OJ. Oh, we should call fucking Leventhal, dude. That's a good idea. Damn. Who's that? Who's Leventhal? That's me and Joey's boy, dude. Wait, who is this?

You have to explain who it is. We're doing a show here. So Andrew Leventhal. This isn't like a sleepover. And I didn't bring that. That was John. Andrew Leventhal is a classic Jewish Pasadena attorney and he's been rated like the top guy number one defense attorney I like this guy best call Saul

he agreed to come on the show and then we just ignored him uh but so he's like ranked number one on Pasadena's best defense attorney right right, right, right. And so if you go to his Instagram page, he has all these stories where he's sitting there with like a... A guy behind a glass panel. He's watching Leventhal. And Leventhal's like... He'll find like a Hispanic man that he's standing next to outside of a courtroom. His name's Andy Leventhal, right?

Andrew Leventhal. And he'll go like, Hey guys, I'm here with this guy, you know, Victor. He was accused of beating his wife. And I just got him out. Andrew Leventhal. He was about to go to jail for it.

He has like 67 views. He's not. He's a Pasadena celebrity. Devin. He's a private gem. He rocks, dude. Click him. I hope this guy blows up. Good morning! Andrew Leventhal, criminal defense lawyer. Hope everyone had a fantastic Super Bowl

yesterday. Today I'm wearing this festive tie here. It's American flag style because I wear a tie like that every time I'm raising a federal challenge. What does that mean? That means that I'm challenging federal challenge what does that mean that means that i'm challenging what does that mean because what does that mean well he just told him he's about to say

attitudes that my clients are being charged with but i'm arguing that they're unconstitutional because my client can't comply with them even if he wanted to and it thus poses an unreasonable burden on his ability to make a living. He's going to use this. Well, that was a big nothing. But what? Is there good videos of him? Doesn't he have a good Instagram? The Leventhal Firm.

Here's Andy. Making shitty videos. Are we on? I'm a criminal defense lawyer. I'm outside with my client. An amazing thing just happened outside the Norwalk border. What happened? Oh, well, I stuck a plug in your ass.

Ugh, they don't even have good sound. They got the planes flying over. This sucks. This is terrible. Danny Leventhal sucks ass. You're going to call this retard? He's one of the best defensive attorneys in the past. He has nothing. He's not making waves at all online. He's on Instagram. I don't know why you looked him up, quite frankly.

He's on Instagram. We didn't say go to YouTube. I'm going to call him right now and I'm going to tell him what you said. Don't you tell him I said he's a retard. Don't call Leventhal and tell him that. Stop talking to lawyers! They're the main people that do the bad things to people.

He's about to get an earful. God damn it! He's about to hear everything you just said, buddy. Call him. Call Leventhal. Oh, I am. It's ringing. Are you face- I swear to god If you do another If you fucking fuck this episode up

I swear to god I'm not gonna do a bomb Jesus I'm so stressed out You're such a cuck No I'm not What are you calling him on? Instagram

That's a lie Why would you call him I only have him on Calling him on Instagram He's not gonna pick up He doesn't have that many Do you have a big ass? He's not picking up.

He's happily married, you freak. He's happily married. Oh, God. And I've talked to him before. Yeah, Leventhal ain't picking up, bub. Yeah, you're done. Yeah, because he's the big hot shot. He's busy.

He can't talk to him. He has nothing to do with this shit podcast. Jesus Christ. Let's type in Leventhal on Instagram. Let's see what comes up. Andy Leventhal? There's nothing on... Andrew. What are you looking for? Instagram?

No. There we go. He's hidden his best stuff on, like, stories and stuff. There's one where he defended a pedophile teacher at Rocks. Really? A video? No, it's not a video. It's just, like, fucking... He's just kicking ass. Go with that guy. What the fuck was that that one yes levinthal southern california criminal law attorney we're at the bellflower court here in la county who's this weird like like high lady boy that's the guy that he just got out

of prison for probably being accused of a horrific crime. This guy looks like he killed somebody with a violin. The maitre d' at a fancy restaurant. The maitre d' stabbed somebody to death with his violin. Didn't we? Yeah, we did. Yeah, I just proved that you're innocent, didn't I? He's like, deny my kitchen. And we got the orders that we wanted to, didn't we?

They're like, what do we do after we've proven innocent? We pop our collars, right, Bob? Yes, we did. Did it appear like the judge and I were friends? Oh, it appeared like we were more than friends. Best friends. Not because we really are, but because I think the judge understands and respects the information that we presented. I do know this court, she is extremely intelligent.

But what we're doing right now, okay we're i'm teaching my client how to tie a tie see i try to be like an attorney if i can you know provide some real life this is literally better call song good god oh yeah yeah he is he's excellent help me out levinthal is jimmy mcgill before anyone knew him he's exactly right he's just waiting to run into his fucking Lalo Salamanca. Give Leventhal Lalo. Make him do a fucking where he has to drive to the desert and pick up fucking bags of money. He probably has a million of those that we just don't know about. He's done a lot of crazy things, Leventhal.

Absolutely. He drives to the San Bernardino Mountains and he hides money for people. He's been driven into the desert many times. Yes. this is who jimmy mcgill's based on that's not true no not not no not specifically him this archetype this guy has based his life on jimmy mcgill now this has been an archetype for like decades and decades sure all right let's let's what well is there john what's the video where you got a pedophile out? It's not a video. It's just a picture. It's just like a screenshot of him on TV with a teacher.

This one has legs. Let's see what this one's about. All right. So this is Long Beach Court. I'm finishing up here. I just completed a multiple offense DUI. And I want you to know this, okay? And this is pretty common, okay?

A lot of judges used to be former prosecutors, and they're used to sort of the policies in terms of like how the length of probation with respect to certain types of offenses, etc., right, that their office wants. Just office. It's not a law. It's just office. It's not a law. So here I had a situation where I negotiated three years of informal probation on a second-time DUI, and the court believed legally that it had to be four years, right? But that's not the case. 2-3-6-0-0 of the vehicle. Leventhal sucks ass. Enough of you. God damn it.

What you're missing is when Leventhal has his hands on a very clearly guilty person, and he's making them pose behind him, and he's saying stuff where it's like, this man was just accused of plowing down a crowd, a very busy crowd. And then he cucks the guy and goes, didn't I just get you off? You were about to do life in jail, right? He forced him to respond. You got me, you off? You were about to do life in jail, right? He's like, yeah, I'm still here. You got me off, fool.

You make a murderer respond to you? Now, what just happened? Mr. El Chapo, what did I just do for you? Mr. El Chapo's like, you got me off? He goes, they had your dirty fingerprints all over the butcher knife, didn't they? Didn't they? He goes, see, yes they did. And he goes, that's right.

And who got you off? He goes, the gringo. They go, señor gringo. They go, they found four severed heads in the back of your truck, didn't they? He goes, see, they did. Yes, they did. He goes, and who got you off?

And the guy goes, the Jew. Hey, and the... Mr. Jew. Mr. Jew got me off. And I can go and sever his all over town. Oh, God. Oh, God! What a weird two episodes because of you, you criminal.

Fucking creep. You creepy criminal. You made the call. You made the call. I thought we were having a light. You dialed the number. You dialed the number. I thought it was a light time.

I thought we were having a light, fun time. It's a crime to even dial it. And you turned it into a federal crime within a matter of seconds. I don't think so. Well, yeah. You called your think so. Well, yeah. You called your family member. Yeah, they're not on your side. My family member happens to be a lawyer.

Yeah, I'm sure they're not partial. No, she... She hates you? Did your sister hate you? She said you can get criminal charges. She said... She didn't say... You keep acting like criminal charges

and I think... She said you can easily get criminal charges. Listen, she loves me, but she's impartial. And let me tell you something else. She was honest about the criminal charges, but she said the max punishment is like 500 bucks. We're going to have to record this podcast over the phone. Like, we're doing a rap album.

Like 50 said. Yeah, it's going to be insane. What are we going to do with you? You really screwed the poops today, bud. You're really shitting the fan. I think this is going to be one of the best episodes. We've been knocking them out. Even this episode where we don't even get into the thing we did.

This is better than the one we did. I'm about to ruin this one. Hey, guess what? Hey. Don't do anything. Who are you going to call? You can't call anybody without my consent. Joey goes, I'm going to ruin this when he starts raping us.

I'll blow his gun out. He blows his gun out. He kills you. Look what I'm about to do. What are you doing, Joey? Stop recording. Joey, stop. Stop.

Stop recording. Joey, stop. Goodbye. I'm about to call. Good night. Good night. Good night. Don't you do it, Devin.

Don't be a cuck. We have six minutes left. We give these people a full hour every time and usually more don't you fuck this up Joey who you calling who's he calling cut his mic

cut his mic it's fine I won't do it it's fine finish the pod take the reins take the reins Take the reins. Take the reins. God damn you.

Take the reins, my friend. What are you about to do? You are such a wily little fuck. Okay, hit his phone for me. He's being a little sneaky bastard. You guys talk about, you have six minutes. Why don't you, you fill it. Big lemon party hot shot. You ruined it.

He's trying to fill it. You fill it. You're a big celeb. I'm not a celeb. You're out there being... No one knows who I am. Come on, Jerry. You can make a gay joke.

Especially the law offices of... What, a gay joke? Yeah, there's a gay joke there when he says you fill it. Yeah, you fill... Fill your ass? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, come on. It was right there in front of you.

It was a soft toss. Is that what you're saying? No, but you gotta do it. But, so, fill his ass with gum? Yeah, the only thing you fill yourself up with is gum, Devin. Very good. Boy, oh boy. What a slam dunk.

Thank you, John. You're welcome, bud. What are you doing, John? How'd that feel? I'm gonna go home and make dinner. Snap out of it. What are you gonna make? What are you talking about?

You're one of those guys that, like, you act like you're being all healthy, and you make the most disgusting meals I've ever seen. Your meals look like utter shit, by the way, on Instagram. You look like utter shit constantly. You always make some, like, kidney bean omelet. Devin doesn't know how to use a fucking belt. His ass cracks always utter shit, by the way, on Instagram. You look like utter shit constantly. You always make some kidney bean omelet. Devin doesn't know how to use a fucking belt. His ass cracks always fucking hanging out of his pants like a monkey. It's disgusting.

Yeah, because it's a sign. It shows people that you want. It shows people that you're available, your ass is available. That's exactly what it is. You don't get it. It's a prison move. It's a thing I learned in prison. Devin's like, I love piss plays.

I hang a fucking yellow handkerchief out of my ass. If you show your crack, people know what you're into. Yeah, I bet. God. Shut up. You don't show your crack. Insult my meals. I've made you the best meals you've ever had.

You made me a great meal, but I'll... What meal? John made me bolognese like a week ago. Oh, yeah. And it was chunky bullshit bolognese. It was just like chunks of carrots. It didn't even look like it. It was supposed to be chunky.

It wasn't even good? It was supposed to be chunky. It was really good, but it was just chunky. It was like not bolognese. Yeah, De of carrots and I didn't like it. It wasn't even good? It was really good, but it was just chunky. It was like not bolognese. Yeah, Devin likes smooth, silky sauces like cum. He doesn't like chunky sauces. Devin's not into chunky shit.

Devin's like cottage cheese, ew. Bowl of cum, yes. Joey, imagine a bolognese made for you by like a dumb idiot. Oh my god. What an attack. By like a guy that doesn't know how to, how to vicious. He didn't know how to reduce any of the meats or the vegetables.

And it was just a chunky. Imagine being friends with a guy who doesn't know how to reduce his risk of HIV. There he goes. Setting him right up. He's great. He's great. The kid's got it. He took produce.

The kid's got it. Who can see the word reduce and turn it into a gay bash? The kid's got it. Except for John. The kid's got it. The kid's got it. Who can see the word reduce and turn it into a gay bash? The kid's got it. The kid's got it. He's got a skill. He's the real man of gay bash. It's amazing the AIDS doesn't affect his thinking. Still quick-witted despite the AIDS blocking his mind.

What a wild fucking... You guys are the fucking craziest dudes I know. It's insane. You literally have a new disease every week. I'd die for Joey. I'd kill for Joey. If Joey went to prison, it'd be like prison break. People think I'm crazy for associating with you.

People think that about me to you. That's not true. I swear to God, people are like that. Who thinks I'm wild? Everybody, bud. All my business friends. Talk about town. Serious business friends. Serious business friends.

You're serious business friends that you call bomb threats into? That was a former company. My new company hears about you and they go, what is with this crazy guy? This otter. Hell yeah. I swear to you, that's what they say.

Are you serious? Your new company knows who I am? They found out about you and they were like, you can't associate. We're trying to start a huge business. Why are you on a weird podcast with an otter? And I tried to tell them. I tried to explain it, but they didn't understand. With a wily otter?

Well, you really need to start understanding the seriousness of your actions. Yeah, you're a big fat retard. Because you're going to get in a lot of trouble someday. You're way fatter than Mara. You're going to come crawling to us. Please, I need legal help.

Do you think you could cash out the Patreon so I don't go to prison? Joey's calling us up. Can you put some of the Patreon money on my book so I can get some Rice Krispies? I need a commissary. I need money for my commissary. I owe a guy money because I gamble. Oh, just somebody calling the bomb threat publicly over and over again and think nothing would ever happen?

No. Listen, if I do the crime, I'll do the damn time. You guys are acting like I... What if I ever ask for a handout? Never once. Never once. That is true. You never want to ask for help ever. You guys constantly ask for hand handout? Never once. Never once. That is true. You never once ask for help, ever.

You guys constantly ask for handouts. I don't ask anybody. Devin asks for hand jobs. He doesn't ask for handouts. He doesn't do this, okay? Slice. Dude, sick, John. Sick.

Sick. You really warm up at the end of these things. It's unfortunate. It sucks that you always warm up two minutes before we're done. Yeah, it's fine. A little bit inconvenient. A little bit inconvenient. I'd love for you to help me throughout the hour.

It's hard to talk over you two fucking bozos. It'd be cool if you were funny throughout the hour, but you know, you're the last two minutes. I got two Latin fucks next to me. I got a Frenchman and a fucking Itai. It's like, you know, you're just loud. Save all your energy for the Itai hour. Save all your energy for the Itai hour.

It's easier to talk to, you know, civilized people. It's because you think you're smart. You don't know how to be funny. Let's dox John on this, too. Should we dox him? Dox him on what? On Hatewatch. Let's give it to the Hatewatch listeners.

Don't give it. What's the worst that could happen? Stop! I don't want this! You enjoyed this morning. No, I fucking didn't. What are you fucking talking about? You love attention. Stop.

Shut up, you narcissist maniac. Don't fucking. Joey, share his whole. Stop. What are you doing? Joe, what's his social? I have his info. Do you have his info?

I have his info. No. What are you talking about? Fucking no. Joey, you have his social security. Yeah. What's his social security number? Oh, my God.

Okay, are you ready? What's my social security number? Well, first of all, should we do phone number first? I'm gonna fucking take you down. Don't give me my phone number. I will sprawl you. I will sprawl you into the center of the earth. I'm gonna start doing dangerous shit in this room.

I'll flip a table. Oh, really? Yeah. Okay, I won't do it. Relax. Relax, John. I'm fucking... Relax.

We can wrap it up. People already saw how gay you are Yeah it's okay People know how gay you are They're gonna say how gay I am When these fucking asses Hang out every day For all the men around the neighborhood

Yeah you've really done good work For like three and a half minutes You do That's about an average time Your blowjob's last Telling us how to work the fucking knob two full hour episodes you did like two full loads you take that's great that's great that's another good one no give him four minutes give him four minutes shut up four minutes he's done he's done

well you've done good maybe maybe keep that four minutes making an hour and then that's a podcast hate you i hate you too, but I'll fuck you. I love you. Why don't we all suck each other up? Yeah, we're going to fuck each other up. All right. Good night. Patreon.com slash hatewatchpodcast.

Yarmules for the beautiful sign. And thank you, Yarmules, for the beautiful sign. Obviously, weird couple of eps, but something happened, and you'll find out if you join the Patreon. Kind of. I'm going to have to edit. If you edit I'll never come back. I'm not going to cut it but I'm going to have to

wipe the info on the screen. God bless you all. See you next week. Thank you. Good night.