Hate Watch with Devan Costa - Guido Breeding

Episode Date: January 1, 2024

Woman gets arrested for masturbating in public and ultimately commits suicide, pizza guy saves kid from burning building, people that live in RV parks in Vegas followed by the worst horror story ever told https://www.patreon.com/HateWatchPodcast

It's good to be in something from the ground floor. I came too late for that, I know. But lately I'm getting the feeling that I came in at the end. The best is over. Many Americans, I think, feel that way. You got a little espresso there, Debbie? A little ASMR. A little Debbie ASMR.

Something about that sound When you hear somebody go It's comforting Not at all It reminds you It reminds you of holding hot cocoa Like in a lodge Next to a fireplace

You're wearing a big nice jacket You got your dog there named Buck I don't drink liquid There's a moose head up above the fireplace. We gotta get a cabin and arrow head. Why? Because we could do that. Okay. That'd be fun.

Alright. Yeah, we'll do some stuff. We'll do campaigns. We'll do some stuff. If you ever get a day off work. I can get a day off work. You have to change your schedule. Fridays should be, you should be off all day. Why? Because you shouldn't be getting off work after a long day of jousting with psychopaths

and then come over here. That warms me up for this. I joust with psychopaths at work. I joust with psychopaths in this fucking room. It's what we do. Yeah. Yeah. How about you worry about yourself, Devin?

How about that? You got a new bouncer? How about you worry about yourself? Oh, this is about that? You got a new bouncer? How about you worry about... Oh, this is... You can't get into that. You're so scared to talk about local stuff. It's a guy that exactly... When he moves on, we'll talk about it for a whole episode.

Just right now, he could give John shit. Sure, sure, sure. Yeah, good point. And John's already going through enough because his brain is really deteriorating. I really can't believe this. He could give John shit. Sure, sure, sure. Yeah, good point. And John's already going through enough because his brain is really deteriorating. I really can't believe this. He came in earlier. He goes, dude, you know Al, that mongrel biker?

He gave me this jacket today. He says that, right? And we talked about it. You were there. Yeah, of course. He comes upstairs five minutes ago. He walks in. He goes, dude, you know Al, that mongrel biker?

He gave me this jacket today. I don't know if it's long COVID. You just told me that. What is going on? He's been doing that to me. It's like podcasting with Uncle June. Sorry, guys. My brain's rusted.

So are you afraid? So now the mongrel biker's son, who is also a mongrel biker, texts to John and goes, heard you got my jacket. And I'm like, I hope John's involved in this. I hope they want to kill John. It jacket. And I'm like, I hope John's involved in like this, like I hope they want to kill John. It is funny, John was like, oh, my regular like gave me this really sick

three-year-old jacket. He's like, this feels kind of weird. I feel kind of bad for taking it. And then he gets that text from his son going, I heard you got my jacket. And I'm like, John, it sounds like he gave his son's jacket to you. Yeah, it sounds like he gave his son's jacket to you Yeah it sounds like It's a sick jacket

It sounds like he's doing it To piss off his son They had like a falling out Or something No I think he's just I think his son's just messing with him And now you're caught In the middle of this like

Listen Of this This love triangle They're Latinos I think if you go in their closet This mongrel biker love triangle John's gonna get killed I think it's like

They just got Pendleton Stacked to the roof Basically you know I don't know that Yeah I don't know about Mongols You're obsessed with Pendleton By the way You talk about Pendleton

Like it's fucking Versace It's really expensive And really nice It's what It's fine No it's not It's very nice How great is it

If you can find it At most thrift stores You and I used to go To thrift stores all the time And be like Dude this is fucking Pendleton This is fucking amazing Yeah well, this is fucking Pendleton. This is fucking amazing.

Yeah, well, because people who wear Pendleton is American workwear. It's stuff that lasts. You don't find Versace from the 80s at fucking thrift stores because, A, people don't put that, don't give that to thrift stores. They sell that online. They keep the Versace.

How come you're not really a Carhartt guy? Is it because you don't work hard enough? I have a, well, Carhartt's, I don't think it's made in America. I don't think Carhartt's made in America anymore. Everyone I know, everyone wears Carhartt now. It's like a hipster thing, actually. Yeah, so I don't wear it.

So that's why you don't wear it. Because Carhartt's gay now. Because hipsters took it over. Yeah. Yeah, it is interesting how many people wear Carhartt. It's a super popular brand out in South Dakota. People out there with no calluses wearing Carhartt. And that's not allowed.

Well, South Dakota guys are all like actual hillbillies with calluses. Bush pilots and shit. Here, yeah, you got a bunch of baristas and shit. Yeah, they're wearing Carhartt. The only calluses they have are from Jack and Om. I love when you see Carhartt guys walking down the street with Carhartt jeans with paint on them.

I'm like, what are you doing? That's bullshit. You're like, what the fuck? It's like, yeah, they're painting fucking Ruth Bader Ginsburg, and then they go and get it on their. Yeah. What are you doing? That's bullshit. Yeah. Like what the fuck? It's like, yeah, they, you know, they're painting like Ruth Bader Ginsburg and they go get it on their fucking car. That's been the thing for a while now is people go to thrift stores and they buy like a, you know, like a working class. They buy like a what a burger shirt, like, like for an employee.

Yeah. And then they wear it and then they have like a job where they just like send emails all day and they don't do anything. No, they're like Weinstein's assistant, but they're LARPing as a fast food employee. You wear, like, a Schwan's delivery guy shirt or something, you know? Yeah, yeah. I think Pendleton's cool, though, because it's, like, intrinsically tied with, like, L.A. and, like, cholo culture and shit. Hell yeah.

Born and raised. Yeah, fool, I'm out of here. Rest in peace, Sponto. Who's Sponto? The founder of Born and Raised, the company. Oh, the dude who founded the Glock died.

LA legend. Venice legend. Huh? The guy who invented the Glock and died today. His name was Glock. Rest in peace, the Glock. His last name was Glock?

Yeah, his name was like, he was an Austrian guy. He designed, he died. That's great. Cool. Rest in peace, the Glock. Rest in peace to him.

RIP, Glock. Yeah. Yeah. You know, my friend killed himself in one of those, but That's great. Cool. Rest in peace to Glock. Rest in peace to him. RIP Glock. Yeah. Yeah. You know, my friend killed himself in one of those, but that's fine. I love that guy. Oh, he had a Glock? No, it was like some of those. Yeah, those are expensive guns.

Don't kill yourself. If he had a Glock, I would have taken it. Yeah. Yeah. You would have robbed my dead friend. If I saw a Glock on the street. It's like a $600 handgun. You keep asking me

the day I went over there to get some of his belongings. You're like, can I come do this? He rifled through his apartment for his Glock. I'm like, where's,

who, did somebody take a Glock? Did the police take it? Oh, man, well, speaking of suicide, you know,

this thing, it's just all over the place now. Suicide is, is, is, is just, it's, it's,

people are dropping like fucking hotcakes. It's hot right now, suicide. Suicide is so hot right now, okay? It's in. Suicide is like Hansel in the suites right now.

It is so hot right now. Yeah, yeah. Suicide season. People don't seem to have an understanding you don't live beyond the suicide. I think a lot of people

do suicide as like a move and then they realize I'm not here anymore. And so, so there's a lady that, she was a Georgia Beach, whatever, woman. And she shot herself.

Oh, I saw this. Months after. This is the saddest thing that I've ever seen. Yeah, it's really fucked up. It's kind of hot. It's really fucked up. She's hot, man. This is bullshit.

This breaks my fucking heart. I'm not even kidding. You can be horny. It's kind of hot. It's really fucked up. She's hot, man. This is bullshit. This breaks my fucking heart. I'm not even kidding. You can be horny. It's really tragic. She killed herself after being arrested for using a vibrator on the beach. What? And it's tragic, and it's brutal. Let's get into it.

Let's watch it and make fun of it. I feel so bad for her. Play it, though. It's hilarious. I'm just saying. I don't even know if it's hilarious that we might have started off on a bad foot here. No, no, no. It's not funny that she killed herself, but this footage is quite absurd. She's attractive, too.

Honestly, the only people that should get arrested for public indecency are uggos. If you look like me or John, arrest us if we jerk off in public. Yes. If I see a fat woman on the beach with a vibrator, I'll shoot her myself. I was gonna do it.

But if I see some lovely young woman, but she might be religious because look at this cross. So maybe it was like a thing where once everyone found out, it was like you shamed the family and the church. Well, this is the one time where I'm like man sometimes i don't know if body cam being foiled is okay because like this poor lady we caught her in her worst moment ever she was masturbating at the beach who knows she was horny or like whatever and then she got busted accidentally like she was

semi-hidden it looks like, according to what I saw on this, and then now the thing goes viral and just like every, millions of people now think of you as like a weird... It is weird that they're allowed to just post this footage. They have all the rights to it the minute you get arrested.

I guess you have no rights anymore and they can post anything. Yeah, that's I think that the Freedom of Information Act allows that in all states. If the case is closed, probably. I'm not quite sure. Well, it's a double-edged sword. It's a pickle you're in because usually

if you're getting arrested, it's one of the more embarrassing moments of your life. And so it's no matter what, they're filming the most embarrassing moment of your life. So you kind of have to be on, you know, yeah, I guess. You got to be on your game. Like, okay, you can't masturbate at a family beach with a big dildo. Yeah.

That is bad. A vibrator is a bit. Because you can do it through her fucking swimsuit. Well, I'm just saying, she got caught masturbating with a dildo at the beach by a family. It was a dildo? I don't know. A vibrator. A family, whatever.

I don't know if she was. They called the cops. The family called the cops because they're fucking, you know, they're losers. Well, they had kids. They're not cool. I agree. I would be like, son, look. Yeah.

You just watch her until she goes away. And then you're like, all right. Yeah, go, hey, son, ask her if she needs some help. Hey, go shark her. Yeah, go. It's like the new Jaws sequel instead of an actual shark. I don't know. Yeah, it's just.

So here's the problem. She admits to it. Never admit. Deny, deny, deny. All you have to do is go like, I don't know, maybe they saw me like scratching my leg and they thought I was masturbating. I would have just been like, I have a huge pussy. My clit is long as shit. And maybe.

Swollen China clit. The old wrestler. Yeah, I was putting my. I would just say like, no, I don't have a fucking wrestler yeah I was putting my I would just say like no I don't have a fucking fiber I was putting my big clit back in my bikini

my clit fell out you idiot my clit fell out idiot yeah it's like a nut she's got a Budweiser in her hand it's not a good look

an aluminum Budweiser too one of those aluminum cans yeah I was just sitting on my tongue nobody was around me okay and you were over at the beach like I was

I was near the water near the water okay near the water what did I do what did I do so apparently you you were over at the beach? Like, I was near the water. Near the water? Okay, near the water. What did I do? So apparently you were masturbating on the beach. This black lady is not having any of it, dude. Who saw that? I mean, a couple people.

No, they didn't. That's not true. How long would they call us? Nobody was around. Was it an anonymous call? She starts really just flailing under pressure here. Just go like, no, no they didn't. I was on the beach. Women break. Show me proof that I masturbated. Show me proof. Do you have video?

Yeah, then never mind. The cop goes, yes, I do have video, but that's going on my private file. For my home. Is this one of my buddies? Okay, one of my buddies. Oh, she even tries to do like, are my buddies playing a... Is this Ty? she should have stuck with that did time call you they go no ma'am you posted it on your only fans account five minutes ago it's a family okay look

let me let me show you what i did okay okay is there anything in the back let me show you what i did you just start physically masturbating in front of them. He's like, oh, fuck yeah. Hey, Leslie Jones, let me show you. No. Is that if I look through it? I mean, if you can open it and I see the contents. Oh, he's got the vibrator. Yes. I don't

really understand. It's a massager. We're just here because someone called and we're very concerned. You go, no, I wasn't. Fuck off. This is really, really offensive to me. I got it. I got you. And that's why I'm trying to figure it out.

It's my vibrator, but I just put it. Why'd you say that? You dumb bitch. You said it's your vibrator? You ruined it. Are you kidding me? What are you doing? That was like a drunken panic thing.

She's like, probably felt like, oh, they have the right to search me. Her Republican dad was like, always tell them the truth. If you're jerking off on the beach, you let them know. Alcohol is just responsible for so many of people's worst moments. She's got dope tits. Not us, though. Not me, no. I've never been embarrassing.

I haven't. I've never said I could come over to school to us while drunk. Never. I've never heard you say that. Yeah. On the beach. And I just... Okay.

You dumb bitch. You know what's... You know what's crazy, though? Like, like... So if you get caught, like, kind of like... Like, what if... Because I'm in public sometimes, and you know you have, like, bad underwear days.

Sure. Some days you wake up, and you put your underwear on, and you're out in public, and you go, it's got gotta be one of these isn't it So God is smiting me today And you're just I put my hand down my pants in the middle of the grocery store

And I try and unwedge it I'm always trying to do shit Because it's fucking rough I'm not pleasuring myself But somebody could say Hey that weirdo in the vitamin aisle of Whole Foods is jacking off. You're just nuts.

Do you ever kind of jack off a little bit when you're having a bad underwear day and you turn it into like, oh, I'm making an adjustment, but I will kind of jack off a little bit. I'll chub up. I'll get myself a pump. I mean, I get off to it a little bit. That's what I'm saying. Anytime you put your hand on your pants, you're like, oh, my God.

And then you remember, oh, this is me. Yeah, yeah. Oh, my God. Who is this? Oh, it's me. I forgot. By the way, I think more public masturbators should take the defensive stance of, this is offensive. If you call them out for masturbating in public i'm offended by what you're saying

i'm masturbated in public are you kidding me meanwhile you're just like sharked just act a whole bus yeah yeah he went to each person on the bus he didn't do anything he jacked off on everybody on the bus you came on all of them each person just sat there politely. And that wasn't... Or you had like one huge load and you just like did a drop. Like you ran. Yeah, like a hose. Like Ghostbusters. Like each one got his little drop.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like you were moving a hose back and forth. Yeah. What if two sharkers connected their streams? And they combined it in one short stream? We are retouched. And then they killed the marshmallow puff man. Yeah, with the shark.

They sharked the marshmallow. Get a ticket. So, so. Isn't it just a ticket? Like, let her be. God, it sucks when an attractive person kills himself.

See, that's what sucks is this would have been maybe a misdemeanor. Listen, I was sitting on the water like this. The real punishment was this video. And now it ruined

your fucking life possibly. I just had an orgasm. I'm sorry. I was stressed out. I had an orgasm. I just had an orgasm. I'm sorry. I was stressed out.

Imagine a guy saying this. Like imagine a guy like listen dude I was just sitting between the benches and I just cranked my shit and I came. Like it's not crazy dude.

Especially like if kids because kids were around. A guy saying that like no it's just coming. I mean the black lady's like smiling now. Dude, look at Dan Bilzerian. She's laughing.

It's Leslie Jones and Dan Bilzerian. They're cops in Panama Beach. I mean, if nobody saw this, they wouldn't have called. Don't do this to me. Are you serious? I really do feel bad saw this, they wouldn't have called, right? Please, don't do this to me. Are you serious? I really do feel bad about this, though. Yeah, this is bad. She's such a genuine sweetheart.

There was nobody around me. You're a sex offender. You're going to Chomo prison. Oh, man. You know some little weasels just cooking up a foyer. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Right? You're just going like, man. You know some little weasels just cooking up a foia. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Right? You're just going like, ooh.

It's probably the dad that reported it. Female masturbator. Ooh, let me do a foia. The dad of the family reported her. Yeah. Got the footage. Fucking Flanders up there. Fucking looking up foia requests.

Now he's going through it. This fat guy just finds the vibrator and puts it in his pocket. Yeah, he starts sucking on it like a lollipop. He's like, hold on, let me test this real quick. You guys, I'll put you in a pokey. They're laughing at him. It's not, now that she killed herself,

it's really not that funny. Nope, not a funny video. Well, I mean, rest in peace to her. And let's hope that she was herself that's really not that funny. Nope, not a funny video. Not a funny show we did. Well, how'd she do it, dude? Well, I mean, rest in peace to her. And let's hope that she was already suicidal. We can only hope

she was already gonna do it. I doubt it. Because I doubt it too, but I just hate for this to be the reason. I doubt it, dude. Rest in peace. This is the one thing

that started it all? The beach masturbator, rest in peace. And rest in peace clock. Well, I can only hope. Rest in peace clock. You can only hope she was cripplingly depressed before this, and that would make me feel better, weirdly.

That's the calm of her life. If you start masturbating on a beach, I think you probably do have issues. You ever jerked off in public? You're a little odd. I'm odd? No, no. Yeah, the person. Yeah, the person. No, have I jerked off in public? No. At, like, does the woods count? At night? Anywhere. With nobody around. Wait, why? Why were you doing that? Ied off in public? No. At, like, does the woods count?

At night? Anywhere. With nobody around. Oh, wait, why? Why were you doing that? I jerked off in the woods at night. This is when you first discovered jerking off.

Yeah. Oh, that's fine. That's fine. That's when everybody, I jerked off in a stairwell one time because I was so horny. Yeah,

you just have to. Yeah. Yeah. And then I've jerked off in school bathrooms, church bathrooms. Yeah. Yeah. Stuff like that.

I used to jerk off at my job when we first met. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. In bathrooms, stuff like that. I used to jerk off at my job when we first met. In bathrooms, that's fine. In the bathroom. Yeah, no, I wasn't like next to the rotisserie checkers. Then I was jerking off into the salad bar. He's gunning at the deli.

Damn. Oh, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. What's this? Is this real? Neighbors of Christina Revels Glick, arrested for using a vibrator on the beach, insist she was brutally murdered by a boyfriend in her blood splattered apartment as a police commander admits it was not a normal suicide.

Whoa. So what if she was killed? That's interesting. He was jealous. Well, we gotta hope it's that because it's sadder if she killed herself over it. I completely agree. I hope it's that, because it's sadder if she killed herself over it. I completely agree. I hope it was a brutal murder.

We can only hope it was a brutal murder. I hope she was haunted. Oh, by the way, quick update on my serial killer. Is it him? Jared Powell? So here's the fucking thing. Jared Powell's alive, right? He didn't kill himself yet. No, he's alive. Good for him, man. At least he's got get up it him? Jared Powell? So here's the fucking thing. Jared Powell's alive, right? He didn't kill himself yet.

No, he's alive. Good for him, man. At least he's got, like, get up and go, you know? So I did a FOIA for a guy broke in my apartment. We got ring footage from my neighbor. We all think it's a local. It's the LA serial killer that was killing people. I did a FOIA to confirm this info, and they fucking denied my FOIA.

Very strange behavior by the police department. The LAPD is being very strange right now. They sent a forensics team over to investigate this crime, which is already unusual because they don't really put effort into it. Nothing was stolen. Strange to invest resources like the forensics team on a non-crime essentially breaking and everything that no theft that was already strange and then my foia got weirdly rejected as soon as i mentioned that i believe this is associated and i shouldn't have said this i think probably but i was trying to be transparent i thought maybe i was helping a big investigation i was like hey

i believe this break- in is associated with murders. And I think Jared Powell is the guy who broke into my apartment and I have this footage. And then I got a weird foil response where it was just like, nah, due to some like obscure clause, we're allowed to reject FOIA requests in some cases. It's,

I've never seen anything like, and it fucking felt like bullshit obviously i immediately reopened the foia and i'm not gonna stop they're denying it because they're denying it because it's maybe it's actually him and they don't want you to go around telling everybody there was a serial killer i think that the building well right because then that's gonna be like they're like all right well if it's him who cares we already caught him we have enough evidence to put him away forever this doesn't do us any good it's a waste of time that's what i'm thinking is probably uh their thought and then they're like and also it might not even be him they have they don't really

have unless they got his prince back which i highly doubt they probably might have if they did i think they would be obliged to tell me or obligated well they could just show him that footage and go were you here and then if he goes yeah no but i think if they had a positive idea on the fingerprints they'd be obligated to tell me i think i don't think so if it's an active investigation maybe not i don't know because we're real tight-lipped here in california with that shit and you know like honestly man you gotta take yourself to your fucking management company you're looking at mucho dinero i i might yeah dude you could sue yeah sue everybody yeah dude sue everyone sounds like a jerry powell you were almost yeah so powell he's still got some of that 700k powell's my boy. I kind of like him. Honestly, aren't you now friends with him?

He's my boy. Keep his BMW safer. Aren't you now kind of friends? He liked you. He didn't kill you. He liked me. Yeah, he came in. Would you even testify?

If you had to testify, would you go like, I don't know. I think we're friends. He didn't kill me, so hell yeah. I like him. I'll go like, guys, full disclosure, I think there is a conflict of interest here. I'm best friends with Jarrett.

I can't. Write him a letter in county. He did give me a look like, bro. Come on, bro. He's like, I'm not going to fuck you. The Curb Your Enthusiasm music started playing. No, he's like, I'm not going to fucking serial kill you, bro. He's like, you hungover, bro.

He leaves a Gatorlite Zero in your fucking living room. By the way, South Dakota, I went there for Christmas. They love Cheer Pal. It's their favorite story they've ever heard. They get no ad. They've never even had a serial killer

in the whole state. I'm like, i had one in my apartment and everybody got so excited and then all christmas you know i also showed them the ring footage and they everyone's like yeah that is him yeah i kept expecting people to be like no yeah right but everybody sounded like fuck that's south dakota friends and like oh mr hollywood like they think you're making it i bet i bet he could show him seams from belly and they'd be like yeah that's the guy yeah right you could also show them seams from belly and they'd be like, yeah, that's the guy. Yeah, right. You could also show them any black guy and they'd be like, that looks like him, dude.

But then the big running joke all Christmas with my family was I would be like eating dinner. And I'm like, I wonder what they're giving Jared right now. Like, I hope. Yeah, I bet he doesn't have that. Like, I miss Jared. I was Jared. I knew he'd be playing like i miss jared i mean i was jared was here i knew he'd be playing like poker i'm like i wonder if jared was playing poker and then my dad uh the main present that he gave my mom for christmas he said from jared powell

you know what he would be pleased to know there's a family out there having a lot of fun with this. Yeah, he would. He brought, like, holiday cheer to one nice family. Holiday cheer! It's making up for the family the city employee shot in the head and then robbed in fucking Pacoima. But at least he brought some holiday cheer to another family. He canceled that. The kills.

He's on the net zero right now. Yeah, yeah. You should say that in court. I think he's... I had the best Christmas. So, okay, tell me what is wrong with this cop? Look at how long it takes this... He doesn't do anything, and this guy's attacking him.

Look at this video. This is in, like, Huntington Beach or something. I'm starting to think cops are now afraid to shoot people that are attacking them because they don't want to be in the news probably yeah you know yeah like they're getting now their gun shot yeah they're tasing yeah but he's still chasing him tasers don't work on some guys which is weird i mean this guy's already he. This guy looks like a monster energy drink spokesperson. I'm sure his veins are flooded with every fucking chemical in the book. Oh, shit.

Honestly, in 2023, this is just a Target ad. This is just a Target commercial. Just a guy in red out front of a Target chasing a cop who's tasing him. He's just like, hey, sir, you forgot your receipt. That hurt. That fucking hurt. What was it? He's hitting him with his baton.

Well, he doesn't have a weapon. That's why he's not shooting him. He's still chasing a cop. Is that a lady cop? And then he just lets him get in his car. No, it's't have a weapon. That's why he's not shooting him. He's still chasing a cop. Is that a lady cop? And then he just lets him get in his car. No, it's just a Latina. This cop's a cuck. Holy shit.

Cop's a cuck. You can't do that. Now the guy's driving like a five-ton machine. Holy shit. He let him get away. What if the guy just driving like a five-ton machine. Holy shit. He let him get away. What if the guy just drives into a sidewalk and kills a bunch of people? He easily could. It's a terrible cop.

It's a bad cop. What is going on these days? They need bigger tasers or something. What the hell is going on these days? Or Mason, at least. I mean, okay, I guess... Mason and Punch him. Clock him in the head.

So they finally got him with a spike strip. Clock him in the head. So they finally got him with a spike strip. And eventually where he came to a stop after the use of a spike strip. This video capturing the moment he gets out of his car. He has a dog. Oh my God. Oh shit.

And then another dog attacks him. To get him to cooperate eventually, they said they had to use a taser again to arrest him. Look at all those cops. Police say no one else was hurt, including the suspect i mean fucking the best lapd members are the dogs that they're the ones solving the crimes and stopping

they're the only ones that have like any actual fighting ability the dogs are heroes i remember at one time i was picking up a dead dog in like south georgia and i showed up at this vet office and like you walk in through the back and it'll be like there was one room in that vet office that was for the police and firefighter dogs you had a job where you would clean up the corpses of dead dogs basically yeah so i i uh i walked in there and there was this dog that had like third degree burns all over it and it was sitting in the fucking in the police corner for the police and firefighter dogs and i went up and i was like what happened to that dog and they were like save the kid from a burning bill oh god damn dude man's best friend that dog's doing more than any cop on earth they're the best i love dogs there was one dog they had one of those crazy dogs that like killed

al baghdad baghdaddy like those crazy belgian whatever the fuck really and i i swear to god i saw that dog it was on the floor and then i walked back five minutes later it was on top of a fucking shelf like it jumped on top of the shelf it killed al bag daddy the same type of dog that like that was the one is like it was it had its american sniper moment you met a hero yeah no i mean i met a hero dog and i looked at it i was like what a cute little dog saved a kid from a burning building that's fucked you never really hear about people doing that. No. Dogs just don't care. Yeah.

There are a couple of guys that will save kids from a burning building, and then they're like local heroes. Did you see that Domino's Pizza Driver did that? They cut on footage? No, what? Oh, look it up. There's pizza delivery driver saves kid from burning building. It's not funny. It's amazing, though.

That is kind of my biggest fantasy oh this guy kicks ass is it wouldn't you love to save kids from yeah it's that one right there he's a domino's pizza delivery guy but on this day he was serving up a large helping of heroism you suck ass. Very good. He drove by a home on fire. He did something that's usually a big no-no. He entered the burning building. What was that pizza porn where the guy would deliver you the pizza

and his cock was in the pizza when we were kids? I don't remember that. There's a million of those. There's a million of those, right? It was like you ordered extra sausage. I think it was called sausage sausage pizza.com or something. I didn't know they had big sausage pizza. You're like a porn expert.

It's great. It was just like, that was the early days. He's a porn historian. That was the early days. Big sausage pizzas. What is John and Michael's birthday? Big sausage pizza.

That was like the Noam Chomsky of porn. Norman Finkelstein. I'm talking about the history of porn. Devin's in a chair. He's got Dan Carlin. He's got a porn history podcast. He's like, and he came again. Israel has been occupying porn for years.

Since 1948. The pogroms against porn stars. The pogroms against porn stars. The pogroms against porn stars. When they banned condoms in 2012. To save children trapped inside. There's nobody else inside the house, right?

Is that him? That's him at the end of a shift. Gasping for breath, this man is being hailed a hero for saving a family of six. You know what's funny is that the next day Asping for breath. This man is being hailed a hero for saving a family of six. Police body cam video. You know what's funny is that the next day

Domino's goes, you better get your ass back to work. You ain't getting any time off. They go, the next delivery that you had was late.

We're docking that from your pay. 30 minutes or less, cocksucker. Listen, yeah, Jason, the pizza tracker looks a little late.

Pizza tracker. He's got that stupid car. Stupid car, yeah, Jason, the pizza tracker looks a little late. Pizza tracker. He's got that stupid car. Yeah, the stupid car, yeah. With the oven in the back. Captured the moment 25-year-old Nick Fosdick ran from a burning home carrying a six-year-old child. It looked like hell. If you could imagine what hell looked like. Nick works in a pizza restaurant in Lafayette, Montana. Clean your room up, Nick. Jesus. He looked like hell. If you can imagine what hell look like. Nick works in a pizza restaurant in La Plata,

Montana. Clean your room up, Nick. Jesus. He's a hero. On fire as he was driving by. He ran inside to help rescue the occupants. Then, ran back again to look for a six-year-old inside. I took a deep breath. It was almost as bad as the day of the Super Bowl. It looks like he can save everyone, but himself. They're like, oh my god, it was hell, you mean because of all the flames? He goes, no, he's talking about dominoes still.

He's still wearing his uniform. And I close my eyes and I lead with my hand and I use my ears to sense out where the child was crying from. What if this is all like a sick thing that we find out he's a pedophile and he was just trying to, he wanted to say, he was like,

I don't like any child that goes on fuck. He's like, have you ever heard of a kid? Getting molested in a fire? There's no sadder thought in life than a child that dies before being fucked by me. I'm God's gift to children. And I couldn't stand the idea of this kid asphyxiating on smoke without first asphyxiating on my dick. I mean, this guy looks like he's a pedophile. He looks like he's in the front row of every Jordan Peterson speech in America.

He flies everywhere to see him. I watched the baby up, put it in my arms. He was exhausted and suffering from smoking. He's like a hero. We're calling him a pedophile. He's such an asshole. I saved a family. He's a nice guy.

He went to the hospital. He has a breathing problem. He wants to show kids with his cock. You're a pedophile. You're an incel. Fuck you. Jesus Christ. A true American hero.

By the way, here's a hypothetical for you guys. Yeah. Would you rather get $1 million cash untaxed, it's just you have it forever, or you're famous for being a hero like that or stopping a shooter? Million dollars. Million dollars.

I would pick stopping, being a hero. That's a tough one, bro. Honestly. I would pick being a hero. I really would. Can I pick the situation? Yeah. Really? Yeah. Really?

Yeah, like, so you dismantle terrorists with knives. Oh, you can easily get more than a million dollars off of B-hero.

Oh, like a terror, like a big thing? Anything. Is it in the news? Mall of America. In the news, yeah,

you're known as a public hero. The reason I'm saying the million is because I know what our society values, I don't know why I said it like that, society values, and we move on immediately from heroes. We really don't give a fuck.

What people in your life know forever like everywhere you go the people in your community will be like oh. Does Wahlberg play me in a movie or something? Called like Patriots. Die hard situation Mall of America. There's like 20 terrorists. There's me. You kill all 20? I kill all of them.

The SWAT team is too scared to go in. They have there's like 20 terrorists. There's me. You kill all 20? I kill all of them. The SWAT team's too scared to go in. They have that situation like in Texas. Uvalde. We have Uvalde situation. Cops are too scared and then they're like, wait, but it seems we have like a gunfight inside. And it was like, are they shooting each other? And it's like, no, no, we got one rogue dude. He's got a knife. He started with a knife, now he's got an AK.

He's running out to an AK. And now he's taking them out. I would pick that so fast against what would your scenario be my scenario i've oh i i think about this a lot is that it's 9 11 yeah and i'm on the plane going into one of the towers and then uh you know the terrorists come up with their box gutters and i look to my right to my left we're looking around I catch I make eye contact with another guy who's doing that yeah and it's

like Daniel Cormier or something and he goes you look over and there's GSP over there or GSP is either like Daniel Cormier or GSP but he's like alright bro like we give each other a knowing look like alright we're the protectors of the tribe.

Like, obviously, it's like me and you are the only ones they're going to do something. Everyone here's a cock. Yeah, and so, like, we do a head nod, and then it's just like, we just fucking... I like that. GSP, power double, or Cormier just starts fucking uppercutting terrorists.

I'm jumping. You're getting box-cutted, but it's not stopping. No, exactly. I'm sliced up. Your forearms are fucked up. Oh, yeah, but we don't care because we know. We know 9-11's about to happen. And then, like, so then, you know, we both kill the terrorists together.

Yeah, we beat them. Or you knock them out or at least tape them up. And then I land the plane safely. In the Hudson? Yeah, in the Hudson. In the Hudson? That would be sick. And people are like, dude, Sully didn't even kill terrorists.

Exactly. And this guy killed terrorists and landed a plane. And he stopped 9-11. And he stopped 9-11. So that would be mine. Here's the thing about 9-11, though. What sucks is in that situation, there's another plane. You can't stop that other plane.

No, no, but I stopped the second one. You saved enough. I stopped the second one. Yeah, but it would still be, like, you want to stop that other plane. No, no, but I stopped the second one. You saved enough. I stopped the second one. Yeah, but it would still be like, you want to solve the whole thing. No, no, you don't, because if you solve the whole thing then people are going to be like, well, they probably would have missed the towers.

If one hits, they're like, oh my god, the other one probably would have hit. Is there like a situation where you get into the cockpit, you save the day, and then you tie everybody to a big, like you get everybody to get in a big thing, and then you have one big parachute, and then you aim the plane. At the other plane?

Yeah, but then you kill everybody on the other plane. You're getting too silly. That's a small price to pay, though. Right, because the building didn't get hit, and there's a lot more in the building. So it's like 200 people die versus thousands. You jump out of the plane with all 250 people with you. You tied them up or something

you figured out some parachute thing and then you crash the other plane and yeah I like the idea of me crawling around a mall

you know like the planes full of condensed not even through vents but just like it's more long form you know like I got

multiple scenarios not just three guys with box cutters maybe one guy's like in the food court and I gotta blow his brains out. I like that strictly from an action movie

point of view, but notoriety-wise 9-11 is way bigger. Oh, yeah. 9-11's the one. I just feel like being a hero must feel so good. Yeah. Yeah.

Everywhere you go, his drink's on me, Yeah. Yeah, I guess. And everywhere you go, like, you know, his drink's on me, kid. Like, he's fucking, that's... That'd be amazing. Imagine being a... He stopped 9-11.

A New York hero? Oh, dude. Anywhere you go. Oh, New York is the best place to be a hero. But then it would suck because then the conspiracy theories would come out

20 years later. I don't mind those. You go to some bar and a bunch of young, like, NYU fags would be like, yeah, you're responsible, yeah, something. Like, you're something. You're something evil now.

I'm Richard Jewell. But even like, Sully faced those, Buzz Aldrin faced those. Well, Buzz Aldrin is a cheat. Okay, you don't think he actually landed on the moon? I'm kidding. That video where he knocks out the guy that's

claiming he didn't go to the moon and he just punches him in the face. He's 80 years old. He's like an old man pilot. But he's a fucking test pilot, and he's an astronaut, and he probably was the quarterback of his fucking college football team. Fuck the prom queen. I guarantee you he did. And then, yeah, this guy's like,

Oh, Buzz Aldrin, please confirm you didn't go to the moon. You're a fucking liar. And he just goes, The most solid contact ever. I do have my doubts about the moon. What? I mean, you don't think we went? I think it's hollow. I don't know. The footage is just a little interesting

to me. Honestly, I haven't even looked at the footage. Why is that flag shaking? There's no wind up there. You know, what? Gravity. Well, I mean, listen, you all know that I'm very scientifically sound, and I know all about this.

You thought the sun had moons. There is. They have a couple. No. No, it doesn't, brother. They do not. It's a star. Stars don't have moons, dude.

I didn't think that. I'm just going along with it. You did. When did I say that? You thought stars had moons, and then I said, no, they don't. And then you said, well, what do they have? Planets. And I said, they have planets.

Well, where do the Jews that live on the sun keep their money? They live on the moon. They live on the moon, dude. Are you correcting me? They hoard their diamonds in the center of the moon. I do think the moon's hollow. There was a big like the soviet union has all these tests they did they were just kind of lost and one of the

big ones is a scientist was like listen if the moon was actually a solid rock our title our tides would be way crazier but it's not not so he thinks like the moon actually has way less mass is like well there must be hollow must be full of tunnels why do we care about these other planets because there's like stuff on them we want. I really think it's just satisfying an adult who used to be a little kid that used to have little cutesy fantasies. Can I play devil's advocate? He keeps wanting America to pump money into the space system.

Can I play devil's advocate here? I don't see any future in which we have societies on other planets. It's a big waste of time. Humans are curious people. That's it. Devin. Yeah, but they always pretend it's for the betterment of humans. It's not.

No, it's not. You're just a little kid playing with rubber duckies in your tub. Listen, you two. I fully agree. We wouldn't be in California fucking hanging out with MacBooks and having tender sweet green and shit if it wasn't for some guy at some point was like, I'm going to get on a boat and go over there. No, I think we agree.

There has to be a foundation. I get that, but we have that now. No, no some guy at some point was like, I'm going to get on a boat and go over there. No, I think there has to be a foundation. I get that, but we have that now. No, no, but at some point. I think, John, we're saying we agree, but stop glorifying it. Stop acting like you're this altruistic. Space nerds are fags. They're like Reddit tier. It's not altruistic.

It's just guys that are just like, I want more stuff. Exactly. Let's have more stuff. It's like playing Cowboys and Indians. It's like a guy that he goes like, we need to pump more money into the Cowboys and Indians section of America. Their imaginations are running wild. Flesh that out.

Astronauts are the same as Cowboys and Indians. Like a kid. You go, I'm an astronaut. I'm a cowboy. I'm an Indian. They're playing. It's pretend. They get to go. They go and shit. Who gives a shit? It's the adult version of a It's play. It's pretend. No, they're playing. They get to go. They go and shit, but who gives a shit? It's the adult version of a kid's game.

These guys just want tons of money and government grants so they could go up there. They're welfare queens. And then they could take, and they are. They're space welfare queens. And then they go up there. They go up there, and then they really, the entire thing, their whole life has been like, hey, look, guys, I float inside the ship. Look at me.

I'm sitting in a chair, and now I'm in midair sitting in nothing. I play the guitar on the space station. I release Rocket Man on YouTube from a space station. Look at the space ice cream. Look at the astronaut ice cream. Look how I drink water in zero Gs. I think like astronauts are way...

Look at the water from this bottle way They're way gayer. Has anyone ever jacked off do you think? All the time. No I know but have they ever recorded their cum coming out and sent it to their

like their girlfriend? I would. That's the first thing I would do. I know that. You're the gayest astronaut alive. I would let my cum

float in the air and I'd slowly push it onto Devin's lip. You have one chance. You have one chance. I'd go Devin would be air and I'd slowly push it onto Devin's lip. You have one chance. You have one chance. I'd go, Devin would be asleep and I'd go,

You know what it is? Instinctively wake up and like eat it like a little fish. You're one time in space and you don't see what your cum looks like? That's the,

that is. You gotta do it. I would be doing like cum vape tricks and shit. Dude, I would, I would be like like cum vape tricks and shit dude i would i would interstellar style fucking dock with the chinese space station and shark all their fucking ass okay oh that's a good one what if okay forget the terrorism situation imagine if

you could dock with the chinese space station go in there and beat the shit out of all those guys. I don't want to. That sounds awesome. I have no desire. That sounds awesome. Why? Because at some point there's going to be a world war and it will continue up in space. And those guys got to beat up those guys.

So you're saying there is a war happening in space and you do it for the war? Well, I think that's what we have to do, right? We have to shoot down their space station. I don't know. I mean, you're going down a road that I'm not quite following. Okay. Wait, what are you even saying right now? What?

You just had to shoehorn in Chinese hatred into this. He's like, I just want to beat the shit out of Chinese people up in space. Mark Wahlberg in space. No, there's got to be, like, if World War III happens, don't we have to, like, fucking shoot down their space station? They have their own space station.

I mean, yeah, like, satellites would be a big target. Yeah. That's, like, why Space Force is kind of a good idea. But they don't have guns up there. No. So do they just, like, send all our astronauts

to go beat up their astronauts? Like, what do we do? I think you would shoot them from other spaceships. Yeah, I'm sure we could probably just shoot a missile up there. I guess that's the only reason it is important is the satellites because I want to watch Hulu and shit. Yeah.

A lot of the internet. As long as these guys are going up there to make my internet connection better, I'm good with that. But enough of their little fantasy about we're going to have colonies. Remember Apollo 13? One day we'll all live gayer. We're going to have colonies. Remember, like, Apollo 13? One day we'll all live on Mars. That would suck so fucking bad.

Who gives a shit? A modern astronaut would never survive Apollo 13. They wouldn't know what to fucking do. It's kind of pathetic. Elon Musk, like, I think he's really smart, obviously, and, like, God bless him. Mm-hmm. It's kind of pathetic how desperate he is to save humanity. Which is like, just let us fucking die.

Yeah, I know. Why? like, just let us fucking die. Why? What's so good about keeping humanity alive forever? I agree. You're going to be dead, Elon. So what are you getting? And also, everyone else is going to be dead. It's fine.

It's also not. I think the front of that is that it's for humanity. He just wants to build shit. He has a vibrator injected into his penis. We're talking about a man it's for humanity. He just wants to, like, build shit. Yeah, exactly. He has a vibrator injected into his penis. Like, we're talking about a man who's a psychopath. Really? Yeah, he has a surgically

implanted vibrator in his penis. Did you know about this? I had no idea about this. Yeah, look it up, buddy. That's the big rumor is all the women who have sex with him

said he's had a vibrator fucking surgically implanted in the top of his penis. Why? It's on a cock. They don't know if it's a cock ring. So he could fuck them better?

Yeah. Like it vibrates while he fucks? Yeah. Yeah. Well, what a... Turns it on. What a retard. I mean, didn't he...

Wasn't he trying to like end traffic by making some big underground tunnel? What happened to that? He had the tunnels idea. He was up on shit all the time. He did the... It's in Vegas. There's tunnels you can access in Vegas

if you have a Tesla. It goes like across the city. Nobody does it. No, he can't. He's not spending any time on any of these things anymore because he's too busy like commenting under Ian Miles Chong videos of like a black teen shooting somebody. Yeah. And he's like, very interesting problem.

San Francisco needs to figure this out. It's like, get back to the spaceship, retard. Yeah, I've been stuck in traffic for 90 minutes. Yeah, I'm in traffic, asshole. Stop tweeting about blacks. Also, nobody cares about Vegas traffic. Like, oh, he fixed Vegas traffic? The way you fix

Vegas is you just turn that whole city into glass. That's the way you fucking fix Vegas. Bring the mob back. Stop being run by corporations. There's no mob to bring back. Get the Spolotro brothers back. Joe Pesci and Philly Atari. You gotta do it like when they

release wolves into the wild and they want them to breed. You gotta get two fat fucks in New Jersey and you bring them to Vegas and you go just, I don't know, just impregnating people. Just throw salami and capicola everywhere

and you gotta do it like you're trying to repopulate like Buffalo. And then in 20 years, you come back and all of a sudden, you know, you walk into the MGM Grand. This guy's like, oh, what are you talking to me? It's all like Frank Sinatra impersonators. Yeah. Criss Angel's like been murdered. Criss Angel's been killed for a debt he owed.

Kara Topp is like crucified. They hang him in public. Shot his eye out. Yeah, I haven't been to Vegas in a long fucking time. It's a shithole. It's the worst place. I go there once a year for work. I'm about to go again in two weeks.

Last time I was there, I was so depressed the last time I was there. It's such a depressing city. You know what? If you don't have money. Well, so when I go for work at this new job that I have, and a few of the older jobs that I had, my boss or my company

takes us to the nicest restaurants. That's cool. So it's kind of sick. Well, the last time I went, I remember being a kid and the buffets being like you could go to like not super expensive buffets and it still kicked ass those were like gone the last time

I went and you had it was like a $90 I had a panic attack at Caesars Palace with you I'm not talking about buffets we go to like Carbone and they have like Nobu's I've been to like the Nobu there. Damn.

There's this one Italian restaurant from New York called Carbone. I gotta come up one of these work trips. Dude, come. I'm going on January 14th.

Aren't there like cheap hotels I can get? Yeah. Yeah. Dude, Mandalay Bay, I got like fucking three nights there for like 300 bucks.

Damn. That's crazy. You can say Circus Circus is $25 a night. Yeah, I'm not doing that. Circus Circus is pretty good. All those mongoloids in the parking lot like 300 bucks. Damn. It's crazy. Honestly, you can say a circus circus for $25 a night. Yeah, I'm not doing that. All those mongoloids in the parking lot in the back. They usually give me a room with two beds. You can just crash on the extra bed.

All right. I'll come. And I'll lie and just tell them that you're a biz partner. I'll come. I'll bring my rifles. I do that to Connor. I'll bring my rifles and my hard do that to Connor. I'll bring my rifles and my hard rifle to child porn. Perfect. Yeah.

Bring your extendo clips and we'll get on we'll aim at a We'll bring some strombolis. Yeah. Throw them off the roof. There's an RV park in the back of Circus Circus. Circus Circus is like the Appalachia of

Vegas. Yeah. What are these retards doing? Is this like a road trip? Are they showing us their road trip? Oh, we all know that fucking retard town. Oh, is that the little tiny shitty one? That's the fake Vegas on the way to Vegas. No, it's the one outside of Vegas.

Shit, it's like it fools people into thinking they're entering Vegas. I'm trying to hold my hand over top of the lens hello your big fat hand so we don't get wet anyway let's go back to the van maybe there is rv living at circus Circus In Las Vegas Full of surprises We have already Encountered Our first Night

At night time This kind of looks A little creepy Circus Circus Is the creepiest Fuck this Fuck you It's incredibly creepy

Circus Circus It's like It's like going to Carn Evil If there was Like a casino Fuck dude My dad loved that game.

Me too. At the arcade, we would always play Carnival. It's a fun game. Yay! Interracial Cup. I'm cooking up some turds. It's not going to make sense

because it's on the page. The Patreon episode, there was a black woman that cooked up her turds to serve to her husband who cheated on her. We did reverse order because of a turd. It's a reverse callback, folks. We're doing the machete cut here. Hey, on Wednesday, go back to this.

And then it's so much funnier. And then that will be funny. Or the RV. Oh, yeah, what's that? What do you got? Back on. Ian, you've already said before there's no lights? No, we collected all of them.

Show us your shitty lives. We do have water, and we have power. Yeah. I feel like he, like, stole, like, Aretha Franklin, and, like, he, like, kept her in, like, ice, and, like, he melted her. He's like, she's back. They're gonna live in an RV with me.

I froze Aretha Franklin in the 60s. Kept her in this ice chamber, and then I unfroze Franklin in the 60s. Kept her in this ice chamber. And then I unfroze her in the parking lot of the circus, circus RV park. It's Howard Hughes' great-grandson. The YouTube video is called, like, taking unfrozen Aretha Franklin to Vegas. That's all we need for tonight. Exactly. Right by the brand new...

Look at this empty hellhole. It's so depressing. It's like a need for tonight. Exactly. Right by the brand new... Look at this empty hell. It's so depressing. It's like a liminal space. I'm putting salads in a parking lot. I love roulette. It's probably $1. Uh-oh. Is it stained?

Maybe that's what it is. Ah, it's bad. All right. They didn't really show. Once again, all these videos are just like lives. It's not a single... No footage. I've never won on a fucking...

What are those things? Goddamn machine they were just using. A slot machine? Slot machine. Never won one of those. No, I don't. I won 11 bucks actually once. Me neither.

I don't know about it. Me neither. Yeah, you know, Vegas is a shithole. It is a fake city. If you are from, I've met a few people from Las Vegas, and it always is confusing to me. It's like, might as well say they're from Mars or like Pluto or something. I'm like, wait, you actually grew up there? They always, their big excuse is always like, oh, well oh well you know there's actually like off the main drag it's like a real

city we have like culture yeah there's a culture that's also my favorite thing is like when people from like shit towns they uh they they the town the the they'll start they'll try to like inject cultural infrastructure into the town they'll be like well we have an arts district now yeah that's every city this is our arts district and it's a place where nobody really

wanted to buy any property but we painted the sidewalks a funny color yeah and now you go to like Arizona you know you're in Phoenix people go like

Tucson's got a great art scene yeah art scene fuck it they make things out of turquoise yeah right you know silver and turquoise it's gay as hell

yeah Vegas sucks Vegas does really suck Reno imagine living in Reno things out of turquoise. Yeah, right. You know? Silver and turquoise. It's gay as hell. Yeah, Vegas sucks. Vegas does really suck. Reno. Imagine living in Reno. I think Reno's probably better. Yeah, because that's an actual... Don't they have that river?

Oh, yeah. Isn't there like a cute, That's got to be good hiking and shit. That's the problem with also Vegas. There's nothing good around it because you're in the middle

of a hobby. There's no nature that's cool. It sucks. It's just rattlesnakes and fucking death. Yeah. It is charming, though, when you go off the strip and there's those like safari like like those like old old casinos they got the 499 steak and eggs yeah those are all gone now are they i think so and you know

it's like uh you were in vegas for fucking uh what skank fest weren't you yeah i mean it goes literally to go from like like like the rat pack to skank fest like ve you yeah i don't want to talk i mean it goes it literally to go from like like like the rat pack to skank fest like vegas is obviously on its way out yeah i i i wish i i hope it's so sad that that country music festival was the victim of that man instead of fucking skank fest that one year i i i hope i wish i swear to god if Tony Hengecliff Relax Oh man These fucking retards Just pink mists

Well you were that You had a bad You had other I had a great time in Vegas But the memory of Vegas Haunts me Yeah Yeah

Anyways Here's This is 1.4 million views Three scary Real Las Vegas horror stories. It all takes place at Skankfest. And it's just all the night of Steven Paddock.

It's a blind guy getting sucked off while he boxes Jason Ellis. Steven Paddock. Yes. Story one, Skank fest karaoke. Watch as Jason Ellis sings Metallica in front of a crowd of cannibals. We're unpacked and settled in the hotel. It was around seven. This is gay.

You had to suck. I don't know what you are. I'm a sucker for this. You into this? I swear to God I am. What if it's like a Stephen Baddock story? We stayed at the Gold Coast Hotel and Casino, which was a five minute walk from the

Strip. Which was a five minute walk from the Strip. There were six of us. Too many names to list, so I'll just name them as I go. We had three rooms and two to each room. I was rooming with Joe. They should put sharks in this, in the big where the water show is. They should just

put great whites and shit in it. And then just grab a couple of drunks. It's a big fun. It's more of a show. Like the Vegas Sharks got them. The Vegas Sharks. The Vegas Sharks. How did your dad die? The Vegas Sharks. The Vegas Sharks. How did your dad die? The Vegas Sharks.

God. He was holding a really, really tall drink, and it was the end of the night. Our flight landed around 5, so by the time we were unpacked and settled in the hotel, it was around 7. That's great. We thought the Vegas Sharks were asleep,

but we were sorely mistaken. Apparently, they hadn't fed the Vegas Sharks in quite some time. We thought the Vegas Sharks had a full belly, but we were wrong. Right after that, we walked around until ending up at the Bellagio Hotel's casino. He just starts describing

the plot to Ocean's Eleven. We realized that we needed a little Asian guy to get down in the vault. While three of the others were at blackjack tables. I'm not sure where the sixth went. He had enough oxygen for 90 minutes, but it was going long. I mean, we were really just sitting there occasionally spinning the slot machine every few minutes. Really just collecting those free shots that the cocktail waitresses would walk around with to try and get the patrons drunker

and looser with their money. Let's just say we were trying not to blow a thousand dollars on the first night. And that's when I saw a man that couldn't keep his eyes open. He was with a Thai lady, and he had a big duffel bag. He had eight suitcases,

which we thought was odd. But nobody said anything, so we didn't either. We're friends by the blackjack tables to watch them. I'd say after an hour at the casino watching our friends gamble their money away, we all left with intentions of walking to this place called Lily Bar

and Lounge. But halfway to the bar, I did a quick pat-down of all my pockets, making sure I had... Was this whole story like I got pickpockets somebody took my wallet I lost my wallet in the bank story number two phone and wallet

then I had that mini heart attack when I felt an empty pocket where my wallet should have been I started to freak out asking my friends if they remember when I had it last none of them remembered. But they all called me gay. They go, well, you did take those six black hookers up to your room.

Back to the blog, you have to check. They didn't want to let you go. I had 13. He goes, he has no memory. He goes, well, you were doing you were doing, uh, like heroin with those black hookers. They're like, look at these pictures of him with a bunch of black. He goes, oh, yeah.

Okay, that's probably where I went. Anyway, let's have dinner. I had that panic moment where I realized my wallet's been replaced by six Apple AirTags. I got AirTagged in Vegas once. Yeah, AirTags, it's like the economy there is people planting AirTags. Instead of poker chips, they hand out AirTags. It's kind of creepy. I got AirTagged, and then my phone gave me a notification. Like there's an AirTag around you. an air tag instead of poker chips they hand out air tags it's kind of creepy i got air tagged and

then my phone gave me notification like there's an air tag around you there's an air tag around you and then i was like what the fuck is that and then i looked around and like in one of my pockets there was a little air tag and then yeah like i don't know what it was i think at some point a guy tried to sell us coke i didn't it, but I believe it talked to him. I talked it over with him. And he must have just been like, slipped it in my pocket. You're buying a robulator? Yeah.

No, because I think I was really fucking hammered and he was like, oh, this is a mark. Like, let me, I'll keep him air tagged. I'll come rob him later or I'll send hookers to like.

That's, he's going to send a hot chick to the door. Exactly. Yeah, yeah. He should have done the no country for old men thing and put the air tag in the chick to the door. Exactly, yeah, yeah. He should have done the no country for old men thing and put the air tag in the vent between

two rooms and then like did a patrol in the parking lot. Yeah, that should have. He tracks you and he finds you on the roof of Caesar's Palace throwing calzones at people. His room card and told me to check our hotel if it wasn't at the Bellagio. Then the five of them

continued walking to the bar while I ran back to the casino of the Bellagio. I felt very defeated, as I was predicting having lost my wallet on the first night, and I would be absolutely screwed if I wanted to get into any bar. I'm already the most boring man on earth. How many views does this pizza shake have?

1.4 million. This better get good. Then I checked lost and found, but there was nothing. So next I had to try our hotel room. This was my last shot at finding it, and I felt sick to my stomach about it now. I felt this could ruin my entire- I mean, in what way could this story lead to something really crazy and grisly and insane? He's going to say it goes.

It's like if a dead person has the thing. I don't know. And then I walked in an alley and found my wallet on a dead man. I'm confused. I ran through the lobby and up the stairs to the second floor where my room was. Ran through the lobby. What a retard. I got to the door and tried Joey's key card.

The card reader flashed red a few times. I wondered if he had a faulty card. Okay. Thanks for the info, shithead. To remove any smudges or whatever that could be in the card reader. On the next try, it beeped and lit green. We don't need every fucking

detail. Oh my god. He goes, then I blinked and then I did an inhale and then an exhale because that's how I breathe. I noticed the thermostat was on 72. I usually enjoy 76. So I turned it up. And then I heard the air conditioning kick in.

Turned on the TV. Maury was on. He was not the father. And I got sidetracked. Decided I had to keep looking for my wallet. Anyways, the most horrific story. The number one most horrific story from Las Vegas. And at the end of the day, I realized it was under my bed.

Story two. I had a room, throwing clothes out of my suitcase and onto the bed, digging through my suitcase, then tearing through the bed sheets, even though they weren't even slept in yet. I checked under the beds, pillows, on the table and TV stand, but it was not in there. Can we skip ahead? Is there a spike? I was literally wanting to cry. This guy's a homo. Then I thought to maybe call the front desk and ask if it was turned in there please get the head is there a spike literally wanting to cry this guy's a homo tonight call the front desk here's ask if it was lost and found

go ahead skip stole my wallet i opened the door for them and right center of the hotel through the shower curtain it was undoubtedly a person in there casting that shadow who looked taller than me i didn't want to get stabbed or shot that night. So he broke into his room? And they left shit stands on his shower. What? He thinks that's a person? No, that's not a real picture. That's like an artist reimagined.

Five minutes later, two large men in security shirts came down the hall and I pointed at the door, yelling there's someone in our bathroom shower who stole my wallet. I opened the door for them and right center of the hotel room was this thirty-something medication I did it over his mouth yeah it was a fucking hands that security guards escorted him out of our room and patted him down for weapons and not so shockingly they found my wallet in his Wow

nobody cares on him though security called the police and arrested the man and I got my and arrested the man, and I got my wallet back. The man admitted to finding my wallet outside of the hotel, went to the front desk, asking what room number I was in, and letting himself in. He had the key card. Even though no one was harmed. It's like the most basic scam.

He wasn't even violent. That's the story, you dumb fuck. God, I hate that guy. What a retard. Fuck you. What a piece of shit. Fuck you, Mr. Nightmare. Your stories suck ass. Mr. Nightmare? retard. Fuck you. What a piece of shit. Fuck you, Mr. Nightmare. Your stories suck ass.

Mr. Nightmare. Mr. Nightmare. What a nightmare that was. Story two. I got a flat on the way. Good Lord, that stunk. Shame on that guy. Can't believe it.

This is what you, this clickbait shit. That does so well on YouTube, though. And I think there's like 12 year olds that listen to this and they're like, oh my God. A 12 year old gets afraid. He's like,

oh, I don't even have a wallet. What's that like? Yeah. No, it's like the same thing is like telling scary stories when you're a little kid

around when you're camping or something. Yeah. It's like, that's who's watching this. Yeah. He doesn't realize that it's all iPad babies.

That's what most YouTube is. And that's why a lot of it is so confusing. It's a kid on, it's all ipad babies that's what most youtube is and that's why a lot of it is so it's a kid on it's a kid on their ipad next to their large fucking fat family at cc's pizza and he's just like watching vegas scary stories zoom the guy found a key and opened a door oh my god he didn't even steal the wallet by the way. He found it. Yeah, exactly. He didn't even like pickpocket him. I had a serial killer break into my apartment. Yeah, where's your fucking story? I'm not being a drama

queen about it. I'm like, listen, you know how people say they have survivor's guilt sometimes? They're like, oh my god, I survived and I feel bad because the others died. I don't have that. I'm like, oh my God, I survived. And I feel bad because the others died. I don't have that. I have nothing, but it's like a thrill.

Yeah. I feel good. I feel like, oh my God. No, it just kind of feels. I feel special. Yeah. It's just so surreal and bizarre. You're like, wow. I mean, I can't even believe that crossed my path.

And yeah, it feels like what I would imagine. I mean, I can't even believe that crossed my path. And yeah, it's also, it feels like what I would imagine, like if you were going to go to, you know, if you're on a plane that crashed and, but you canceled last minute, it feels like that, which I imagine is a very good feeling. I feel great. And I'm probably jinxing myself. I'm probably jinxing myself. Yeah.

I wonder how long that survivor's guilt lasts when like you find out you were supposed to be on a plane that crashed. For me, I would never have that. I would be like, I guess I'm blessed from God. I'd be like, I'm the luckiest man alive. I'd go straight to the casino. I think survivor's guilt is a way to brag about surviving. Like, it's a humble brag. It's like, oh my God, I am so, I can't get over how

I survived and the others died. Because if he just straight up said like, oh man, you know, those idiots are dead and I made it, it'd sound like crazy. Yeah, yeah. And I don't think that about my serial killer. I felt terrible that

the others died and I could have easily died too, but I just, it feels like winning the lottery or something. Yeah. You know. It is, you won the lottery. I won like a serial killer lottery.

If that happened to me, I would be like, I'm the luckiest man alive. Yeah. I'd go straight to the casino, I'd lose all my money and then kill myself. John,

all your fucking bottles are like shaking and making all this noise on the table. I don't know what it is. Yeah. You hear the... Oh, it's the remote. The remote keeps moving. Oh, jeez. Oh, is this on?

Oh, that's why. Yeah. Not a professional show, guys. Sorry. No, it's... There's an otter running the board. Yeah, he's in charge of everything. You want to watch one last video? Yeah. Oh. No, it's... There's an otter running the board. Yeah, he's in charge of everything. Do you want to watch one last video?

Yeah. Oh. Why does it keep doing, like... Odd. I still hear that. What is it? Is that... Do it again?

It's the glass. It's the cup. Are we haunted? Do it again? Yeah, it's the cups. What? It was the cups. The cups.

It's the cups. Do it one more time. The third Vegas horror story. The Cubs on hate watch. We're making a rattling sound. We're good. We beat it. We beat it.

We beat it. We beat it. They do this guy. So this guy, this guy kicks this officer onto the train tracks. It does. So this guy kicks this officer onto the train tracks. Put on my neck. It does. Break it.

Break it. Break it. Anybody who wears that jacket is seven feet tall from Africa and extremely strong. Oh, yeah. This is why you shouldn't have female police officers. And she gets her fat ass kicked on. If you see a guy in that jacket, let him do whatever he wants. She's been eating deep fried turds all day.

She just wants to clock in and do her job. She has to get kicked on some train tracks. Whoa. It's really remarkable he kicked her from the floor. Tony Ferguson. Holy shit, yeah. Good God. This guy's like, they're arresting like Francis and Gannon.

Oh, my God. Oh, no, no, no. Oh, my God. Holy shit. That was like 50 yards. This is New York. That's a crazy kick. Go back.

That's a crazy kick. Well, she's a... Oh, my was like 50 yards. That's a crazy kick. That's a crazy kick. Well, she's a... Oh my god. She couldn't stabilize herself in that distance. She's not physically in shape or anything. It looks like a rag doll being kicked. Oh my god. That wasn't that strong of a kick.

Maybe she's a klutz. This is New York. Oh my God. I love the guy. This is New York, baby. Yeah. Greatest city in the world. Just saw a crazy man kick a fat bitch cop onto the tracks.

Yeah. Woo. New York, baby. It's the Alicia Keys music video. Welcome to New York. Just the cop getting up kicked into the tracks. This is New York. Just the cop getting up kicked into the track. It's New York.

This is crazy. Yeah. Classic. Classic New York, you know. What are you going to do? What are you going to do? It's New York. Sometimes, you know.

Get done the freaking track. Sometimes you see like 30 of the worst things you've ever seen in your whole life in the span of two hours in one day. You know, New York. New York, baby. It's a guy eating some rat meat. You're fucking

kicked onto the tracks. The greatest pizza I've ever had in the world over there was a guy eating a full rat. I love it. I love it here. Yo, hey, hey. Greatest city in the fucking world. The big freaking apples. He never sleeps.

Oh, man. Well, Connor's not here because his wedding is tomorrow and he's like at the hotel already. What? I guess we could dox him because by the time this comes out, they'll be gone. What hotel do you know? No, I have no idea. Do you know what part of the city? It's got to be West LA.

Somewhere in West LA. I don't know. Is that where we're meeting for the wedding? Yeah. West LA. All right. So what time? Oh, five?

I think it starts at 630. We have to be there at five. Wait, you got to be there at five? No, Devin, what time do we have to be there? I don't know. I think it's at like six-ish. Okay. We might get there a little early. I got to go to Georgia, test No, Devin, what time do you have to be there? I don't know. I think it's at like six-ish. Okay. I might get there,

we might get there a little early. I got to go to Giorgio Testos and then get in. You got to go to the arts district tomorrow and get a suit. The fashion district, yeah. The fashion district, yeah. I got to get a suit

and then, yeah, I'm down to meet. I love getting a suit right before a wedding. It does feel nice. It's kind of like a classic, like a movie scene. No, yeah,

because you're getting, it's all tailored perfectly for like I'm wearing it the next scene. No, yeah. So, like, you're getting it all. It's all tailored perfectly for, like, I'm wearing it the next day. Yeah. Yeah. You're just going to walk out of the guy, out of the tailor, and go straight to the wedding. Exactly. That's sick. Also, John is now invited.

We didn't say it on the main. John's invited. John got invited. Begrudgingly, John was invited. Yeah. Yeah. Connor called me up and said Don't tell anyone He's like

I still hate you But it feels weird To not invite you Yeah Well I mean You know They better keep that cake Like away from him

I hope there's not Any single gay men Because John Is gonna John eating the cake Like the dogs In a Christmas story So rude I'm eating the cake like the dogs in a Christmas story.

So rude. If I look at Devin or act angry enough, he feels bad. He does his thing. Oh, man. I want to walk in on John like the little kid Matilda. All right, folks. We love you. Thank you for listening. I love you all.

Happy New Year. It's been a good year. It's going to come out the New Year. It's going to be out, I think, yeah, Monday is the New Year.

What is today? The 28th? Thursday. 27th? So wait. 28th. It's 28th today. It's Friday, 29th.

Yeah, it'll be the New Year. Okay. Yeah, so Happy New Year. Thank you for listening. Thank you for bearing with us through these annoying holiday times. We will be back with a vengeance in the new year. Shame on Connor for getting married and missing. Have a few new things planned, possibly.

I think we might do that movie thing. We do it on the Patreon. We watch a movie, and then we will talk about it on the Patreon, review it, and talk shit about it. And then we can play clips on the Patreon. We can't just play the full movie but we could play like oh you figured that out yeah patreon they don't um they they have to be called but like they have to be contacted by the company yeah and and then they'll take it off but they don't do anything on their own okay cool so i but i don't want we can't just watch the full fucking movie but we can watch

a lot of parts like i can put it on my computer or something. We'll watch the whole thing and then edit, maybe do the highlights. That seems like the easiest way to do it. What was the first? We were thinking about Crash could be funny. We were going to do The Woodsman. I really want to watch The Woodsman

and also the 1517, The Paris, the Clint Eastwood film where it's all the real people in the movie who suck ass at acting. It's just a bunch of mongoloids acting. Also, aren't you going to Austin for a big live show? Yeah, in February. Oh, I thought it was coming up sooner. So, yeah.

And then I was thinking, Joey, I think, I don't know. We might try this out. I might buy some lavalier mics. And we do a little segment here and there. I don't know if it would be Patreon or public, but called The Bar. We go down to John's Bar. I set up my phone on a little Like tripod thing in the corner

And we just sit there And kind of talk shit about And you know talk While drinking And we could turn the camera around a little bit You can get a sense of John behind the bar Game changing big big ideas Yeah

These are game changing Devin is He's iconic right now He's coming up with the Ideas Innovative ideas Like Walt Disney over here. I'm like, Connie, this next year...

He goes, I say we do the exact same thing we're doing right now, but we do it at a bar. Every time we're there, it's very funny. We have a lot of laughs and there's a lot of fun things. It is really fun and it is a weird place. Dude, my bouncer will be like... It's not any bar. No, no. It's the weirdest bar in this city, I think. My bouncer will be like,

man, when Devin and Connor come, it's always so fun. That's so nice. That's awesome. But yeah. Alright. Patreon.com slash hatewatch podcast. Thanks for listening. Goodbye. Love you.