Hate Watch with Devan Costa - Hitch Was Here

Episode Date: July 31, 2023

(BARBIE AND OPPENHEIMER SPOILERS) Devan went to New York, Barbie and Oppenheimer kinda suck, RIP Sinead O'Connor, they're trying to cancel Joe Pesci, Floyd Mayweather claims he saw Tupac be murdered, San Francisco hijinks, Devan sings about John Get weekly bonus episodes: https://www.patreon.com/HateWatchPodcast

Like, okay, somebody made a post on the Reddit saying, like, uh, how can I be anti, like, fucking pedophile, but how can I be, while at the same time being pro, like, murder of innocent animals? Uh-huh. Shooting a bunch of chimpanzees with an RPG is just funny. Yeah. Yeah, it's a, it's just a guy on Reddit, dude. Yeah, I know. No, well, you wanted to talk about it. Don't act, don't gaslight me into thinking I brought this up, you fucking dickhead. You kind of did. No, I didn't.

I heard you. Yeah, you did. You started talking about Reddit. You walked in here all hot about Reddit. No, I did not. You walked in and you said, how many more topics on Reddit do we have to have about you being a psychopath? You said I was like, well, I thought you were talking about that. Want to know why, folks?

Because John comes in here. He goes, I'm going to airdrop you a video. I look at it. It's a murder. It's a death folks? I was like, well, I thought you were talking about that. Want to know why, folks? Because John comes in here, he goes, I'm going to airdrop you a video. I look at it, it's a murder. It's a death video. He wants to watch death videos. He never looked at it.

He never looked at it and it's a really good death video. God damn it. It's just, it's a guy, look it up, fans. Look it up, people.

It's Indonesian gymnast. He dies. He gets crushed by a barbell. Dude, that's sick and that's going to really help your rep. That's my rep, bro. Not so easy holding the mic, is it?

Now, welcome to the big leagues, pal. Look at this fucking retard. The minute we started, he fucking broke. Hold the mic. I know you like holding it because you hold things all fucking weak. Cox, that's the joke, asshole. I knew it was Cox. I've holding it because you hold things all fucking weak. Yeah, like cocks.

That's the joke, asshole. I knew it was cocks. I've had it with you. I thought you were talking about like- Everybody knew it was cocks. Oh, we got to talk about it. We almost died. Sure.

I mean, one thing at a time. You're obsessed with Reddit, and you're- So what's going on with Reddit first? It's unbelievable. I had a high iron breakfast. It's unbelievable. The mania in his mind is unreal. No, I had a high iron breakfast.

I had to make- You had a high iron breakfast. He's blaming his breakfast on his behavior. I went to a butcher and I got a bunch of meats. They were selling camel meat there, which is kind of crazy. I got a Cornish game hen sausage and it's delicious.

Nobody cares. Nobody gives a shit about that. Fuck you both, first of all. You're on a show! and sausage, and it's delicious. Okay, nobody cares. So far, nobody cares. Nobody gives a shit about that. Well, fuck you both, first of all. You're on a show. You can't just be like, oh, fucking... John literally... Hold on. John treats the show like it's an essay in school,

and there's a per-word minimum, and he won't pass unless he just filibusters the whole episode. He's triple-spacing the podcast. I'm making my words larger. Yeah, exactly. Using a big font. Well, why don't you say something, dickhead? All I do is say shit. You're too busy fiddling around with your fucking

microphone. Yeah, because I run everything here. Unlike you. How about you run your fucking mouth over your boyfriend's cock, you homo. Anyways. Look, anyways, he goes, phones. Phones are interesting. We all like phones, right? Anyway, fucking just table. Table made of wood.

I used to be a woodsman. I crafted wood at times in my life. Wood, wood, wood. I have ADD, all right? I jump around a lot. You say you have everything every week. I got it all. I got it all.

Every week you say you have something. We almost died on the way over here. How'd you almost die? Well, this lady was being stupid. What, did you have a thought? I have more. I've forgotten more about thinking. You really have forgotten a lot.

I do. I told John all week, I go, there's no Dodger game this Thursday, so we're good to record earlier. I told him it twice, two days ago. Today, he goes, there's no Dodger game, dude. I go, what? I saw that. Yeah, I told you that. He goes, oh, fuck, I forgot, dude.

It's really, I'm like concerned. I need to get it. I thought John was like trolling or something when he did that because I saw the same thing. You want to know another thing he did about two weeks ago? I wrote it down in my phone because it was unbelievable. Yeah. We're watching a trailer, Mission Impossible trailer comes

up. John looks at me and goes, dude, who's the guy from Mission Impossible? What's his name again? Tom Cruise. And I go, Tom Cruise? You stuttering, muttering prick, you. You dumb fuck. What is going on with you? Yeah.

Is your brain, do you have a diaper in your brain? I don't know. I think I need like a CAT scan or something. Dude, are you okay? Do you take vitamins? No, you know what I, so remember when I got that black eye during the jiu-jitsu competition? You've had a hundred. They're concussed all the time.

So, I... But it's like not going away. Look at my eye. Will Smith's going to make a movie about John's life. He goes, John, working in bars is not good for brain. Studying John. Hanging out with homeless people, taking them to Sizzler. Not good for brain.

Concussion. I think I have a blood disease or something because my black eye is like, it's still kind of, can you see it? It's,

it was, I forget which eye it was. Yeah, on the left eye. It's just kind of, it just isn't going away really. So I think I have a blood disease. That's also just from bad blood disease.

That's what you just casually go with. Well, my grandma had really dark shadows on her eyes. You got, dude, I don't know,

like fucking, my eyes are a little black. I think I have pancreatic cancer, dude. I might have, I don't know. I haven't been to a doctor in a while like years like 10 years there are a bunch of collects these dogs what do they know uh i've i've i've i've diagnosed myself with stuff that i knew the doctor just wouldn't wouldn't tell me i had before you had what aids very good very good very good wow get at it look at you wearing your fucking R-rated shirts.

He thinks he's all edgy. Dude, don't ask what happened about what the ATF did in Ruby Ridge, Idaho. I'm a fucking domestic terrorist, dude. I'm showing up. Am I dangerous? You don't know. We're doing the PG-13 target. Good for you.

It's a great shirt. What's next? I said I'd wear it. Protect my nuts. It's got a squirrel in front of his nuts. Next week, huh? You and your gay shirt. Go fuck yourself, Dad.

Fuck you. We haven't seen each other in two weeks, and I am hot. I saw you like three days ago. Yeah, but you just walked in to rambling, and then you left. You walked into the door and just ran outside. Oh, yeah, you were in New York. That's why I missed you so much. Yeah, I was in New York.

I was in New York. I was in New York. What a city. Never sleeps, that city. Yeah. I've heard that same thing. What a damn city. Tell us about it. What happened in New York?

I drank the most I've probably ever drank in my life. I hung out with Sweet Connor, who's moving back here. He's going to live close, too, by the way. Where's he moving to? He's like Angelino Heights, dude. That's so nice. It's going to kick ass uh we did um i met these guys uh chris o'connor and tommy pope they do the show stuff island who's the one with the um like the gray not gray but it's like black hair but it's

like a little gray i think like joe pesci guy yeah yeah tommy i love that guy he's fucking awesome i love o'connor they were both the coolest guys I've ever met, maybe in comedy. Like the most fun I've ever had immediately after meeting people. The episodes, I think they're going to be really wild. You said in the group text, these can only go on Patreon. What? No, they're going to have to release one publicly. But I really, I brought the... You brought the heat?

I brought the West Coast NC-17 heat. What'd you say? I just said a lot. All the words. About a specific group of people? Every people. All persons. It was wild.

We'll see. Who knows? It could be a rambling slop. I have no clue. We were hammered. I believe in you, bro. Those guys drink like crazy. The lives they have.

There was a moment where I was like, I should break up with Ida and move to Queens and just drink my life away. Don't they have kids? No. Oh, shit. I thought they did. So they just drink and have fun all day. All day. They just record, hammered. You want to go? I would move.

They'd love you. I would love to move. They were so fun, dude. Literally, some of the most fun i've ever had in in my entire life doing comedy and because you know you meet you don't i thank god we drank it up at this bar that they basically felt like they owned like they seemed like they owned a bar like the bartender was like kind of kicking people out so we could keep hanging and talking shit it was unbelievable and they just when you when you meet people to do podcasts it's always a little awkward because it's like i don't want to meet you on air yeah yeah it's weird yeah i want to like see if like we mesh you know but

yeah we immediately meshed it was so much you have a first date and uh yeah it'll come out in a couple weeks i guess so we'll see how it goes but uh yeah this is the best new york was cool it was awesome you know they load up, like, five apps? They're those guys, yeah. Okay. Because I think they're just like, we're fucking hammered. Let's hit the studio. Yeah, we'll have one in the tent.

Have one in the tent, yeah. But it's a great city. I don't know. You know, it's never exactly how you want it to go. You always have, like, these, you know, you have these, like, fantasies. Like, you get there, you're playing hopscotch with all these black kids. Sure. Like, somebody undoes the fire hydrant, and everyone starts dancing, You get there, you're playing hopscotch with all these black kids. Sure.

Somebody undoes the fire hydrant and everyone starts dancing in it. You do the milk crate challenge, but you get to the top. You get to the top and everyone raises your hand. You're the only white guy we like. You're dunking in a pickup game. It's never that, but it's a great city. They filmed Hitch there. The history is the only thing. it's never that but it's still just it's a great city you know it's where they they filmed Hitch there it's a

the history you start telling people that city's great every time I go there I tell people like this is where they filmed Hitch but yeah no man

it kicks ass we all gotta go you know and just fuck around cause it was I went to a fucking classic deli in Red Hook Brooklyn where all the Sopranos guys went go and just fuck around. I went to a fucking classic deli in

Red Hook, Brooklyn, where all the Sopranos guys went. I'm going next week. DeFontes. What was the... Red? Red Hook. I'm going to go. I have to go there for work next week. I'm going to try to go there. John's never really been...

I've been to New York a bunch... a few times. What are you talking about? I went there right when the pandemic started. I was in New York. New York needs Joey. Because every time Joey... Joey thinks New York is just Times Square because his job always sends him to Times Square. Yeah, Joey didn't know Mexico City was like a city.

About a decade, Joey literally thought New York sucked ass because he thought it was just an Applebee's and an M&M's store. Well, yeah. So what happened? There's a conference in Times Square for my job in my industry once a year, and it's always in Times Square. So I just go there. My hotel's there.

And maybe I go hang out with Connors somewhere. But for the most part, I'm just walking around that area. I was just like, New York kind of fucking sucks dick. It's just loud and touristy. Yeah, exactly. Times Square's awful. It's like being stationed on Hollywood. Yeah, exactly. Times Square's awful. It's like being stationed on Hollywood Boulevard in LA.

And you're like, wow, I guess LA is just a nonstop sex trafficking. You never went to Brooklyn or anything? No, I have since then, but there was like a decade of me going to Times Square.

He only went to Brooklyn with me and Connor once. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And your friend Hunter. Well, Pedro, once before that, I went to his neighborhood Bushwick I think

Yeah Yeah I fucking was clueless About New York for the I'm like oh I guess This city just fucking sucks though New York City's amazing I really want to go to like

Rhode Island and like Maine and shit though We should probably go out there For like fall or something That's like the dream Yeah Yeah that's I'm sure that's a blast

What? Like colors changing and shit? Yeah yeah yeah Sure Yeah yeah we'll do that I've never been to Boston Yeah yeah I don't think we need to go. Why not? It's fucking Boston.

It's fine. I've been. I'm sure it's okay. The Liberty Trail and shit. Yeah, I don't know. I'm sure it's fine. I want to go to see it and stuff. So you're just a New York City guy. I'm a New York guy. Okay. Jesus.

No, I just, I feel good when I'm there. It's just, you feel alive. It's just, I feel good when I'm there It's just You feel alive It's just I would die if I lived there I'd literally be dead in eight years Cause everywhere you walk You go That bar looks cool

You go Those sandwiches look great You go I go to the bar I get hammered I ate those sandwiches And then the next day You go

I'm not drinking today And then you walk by And you go But there's another cool bar Look at this bar That looks different than that bar You go And then you All the boroughs sound cool but there's another cool bar. Look at this bar that looks different than that bar. Yeah. You go,

and then you, all the boroughs sound cool. You're like, oh, I'm in Fort, Queen. I'm in fucking, I'm in Rookie Down.

I'm in Babadool. And you're just like, I gotta try the bars here. I'm in fucking, I'm in Queen. Hitch went to this damn bar. Huh? Hitch went here.

You know, I go, I go, I go. Queen. Hitch went to this damn bar. Huh? Hitch went here. Every bar is a Will Smith portrait with a signature on it. He runs the city. The home of Hitch. Yeah, man. It's like the 9-11 memorial has like Hitch

walked by here. They demolished strawberry fields to make the Hitch Memorial Garden. No, honestly, though, the last few times I've been to New York, I couldn't really get out of Manhattan, which Manhattan's great and all that, but now I'm like,

I'm more of a across-the-water guy, more of a borough guy. Fuck Manhattan. Fuck Central Park. Fuck all that Home Alone horse shit. Fuck the village. Fuck all that Home Alone horse shit. Fuck the village. Fuck all those people. Fuck the kids at Columbia.

Brooklyn and Queens. It's just so old. It's so old. It's so fucking old. It simultaneously sucks so much ass, but it's also so awesome. It's a stinky fucking city. And in the summer, I think I had

20 drinks that day with Chris and Tommy. That's insane. I think I drank 20 drinks and I woke up fucking great. I felt great. We started all over again. Because it's just you're sweating and you're eating pizza and the water

in the pies. They got a different water. They got a different water out there, Johnny. It's just, it's so cool. I saw where Biggie lived. By the way, Biggie. Pretty nice neighborhood. What, really?

Clinton Hill. It was, like, fine. Where he grew up or where he lived? Where he lived. Like, where he grew up. It was just, it's a part of. I suspect it's gotten better. It got gentrified, but I still.

He was, like, he, Biggie, Biggie fucking like was a bookworm. He was like a kid, like a school kid. He, he like had glasses and he like liked, uh, he was like in, he was like a smart guy. He had vision and he was fat and he dressed bad cause he was poor. I thought he was a nerd. What? I thought he was like a crack dealer. Yeah, he was later on, but he was, he was like a reclusive, like mom kept him inside.

Like, like, you know, so. Like Marshawn Lynch's mom where he was in a tough area, but his mom was like, just like, make sure you don't fucking get too crazy. Probably was gentrified, but we walked there from this, like, nice restaurant we went to, and it was, like, very normal. And it was funny, though, like, the black dudes hanging out on the stoop when we walked by, they were like, y'all looking for Biggie's house? And we were like, well, yes, we are. I love the notorious B.I.G. A.K.A. Biggie Smalls. Give me the damn loot, brother. Give me the loot, buddy boy.

It was great, man. I wish I was there longer if I fucking jet blew those cocksuckers. By the way, you guys really put the fear of God in me, that Patreon we did when we were talking about planes crashing. Oh, good. The next day, I was a little nervous. You scared? A little scared. And there was some crazy turbulence. And they diverted my flight to Pittsburgh.

Had to sit on the Pittsburgh, sit on the tarmac in Pittsburgh for like two hours. For weather or what? Yeah, I guess. I think they were lying at this point. I don't even know what was happening. Like I said, it's an invisible airline. Just eat the layover in Atlanta. Like I said, it's an invisible airline. Just eat the layover in Atlanta.

Just fucking take United or American Airlines. John always says this. Like I can announce. I go, we're going to go to Atlanta, okay? He taps the pilot on the shoulder. I tap the pilot. No, no, no. That's what it is. How do I do that?

No, when you take United or fucking American Airlines, they're going to stop in Atlanta on the way to New York. But just to fucking eat the layover. But anyway, yeah, we all got to go. We all got to bring the hate watch vibe out there. I'd love to do York. But just to fucking eat the layover. But anyway, yeah, we all gotta go. We all gotta bring the hate watch vibe out there. I'd love to do that. You know? I wanna meet those,

you made that trip sound so fun. I wanna get drunk. You're like, they all live in one big building and they have their own bar. They have a compound. Apparently, I think like Shane lives upstairs and he has his own area.

They have a slide that goes down to their apartment. Fire pole. It's like a big daddy house. We podcasting. Shane comes down shot cutting a apartment. It's a fire pole. It's like Big Daddy House. We podcasting again. Shane comes down shot cutting a beard. It's just like Adam Friedler doing bong hits. It was

some of the most fun I've ever had. Honestly, maybe the funnest podcast I've ever done too, by the way. I love you guys. You know when you meet new people? I thought this was fun. We have more fun. I've love you guys, but like, wow, you know, when you meet new people, this was fucking otter. We've had,

we have, we, we have more fun. I've known you guys for fucking 12 years. I'm saying, you know, when you meet new people and the adrenaline kicks in, yeah, you get the serotonin push.

You're in a new area. You see all these, you're bright and bushy tail. Then you're all traveling. It was traveling. It was that. It was a really, really great time.

God bless those men. God bless stuff. Island. I'm going to start watching that more. I never listen to podcasts. Me neither. I love that Tommy guy. What's the other guy? He's like an Irish. He's Irish? I think so, yeah.

He's fucking awesome, dude. He's like a weird... He's kind of a genius idiot. He's amazing. Savant? Yeah, I don't know. He just says things. Sometimes you're like, that's brilliant. And Tommy's just got this, I don't know. He just says things. Sometimes you're like, that's brilliant. Yeah. And Tommy's just got this, I don't know.

He's just a slick son of a bitch. Slick Italian hilarity to him. Anyway, yeah. God bless them. You guys see that they're trying to cancel Joe Pesci? What? You know Sinead O'Connor, then? Rest in peace.

Rest in peace. I mean, you're Rest in peace. No, I know that. You're honoring her. Yeah, this is for Sinead O'Connor. Or you're in V for Vendetta. I don't know what's going on. So she died. How'd she die, by the way? Was she like a heroin addict or something like that? I don't. I just saw she died. I could see her doing heroin.

She was also getting a little old. She was like 56, dude. But she could have cancer or something at that age. Yeah, I guess so. But anyway, and we all know Sinead O'Connor's big moment on SNL when she tore up that picture of the Pope, right? Because of pedophilia and all that. Which, you know, she was completely right about.

Way ahead of her time. Was it for pedophilia or was it because she was Irish? No, it was because of pedophilia. So that wasn't even in the narrative of Catholicism at the time. So everybody was just like, oh, she's like a fucking atheist devil worshiper. And now, looking back,

you're like, that was completely standard. Everybody says shit like that about the Catholic Church now. She was bringing attention to a very very important crazy issue. Yeah. And the world fucking just completely just... They lost it.

They hated her, right? Yeah. Everybody was just like, she's a piece of shit. She was, like, banned from a lot of TV shows and concerts and stuff. And just fucking completely just treated like trash. She was a one woman spotlight. Like that was like you know she was the original spotlight. Yeah. That kind of fucked up her career right? I think so.

Yeah. But at the end of the day you know I love that lady. I love anyone with convictions that cares that doesn't give a fuck that will say what they believe you know. So God bless her. Rest in peace Jeanette O'Connor. But then they brought on Joe Pesci I guess like a week later and they fucking you know I'm sure Joe her. Rest in peace, Sinead O'Connor. But then they brought on Joe Pesci, I guess, like a week later, and they fucking, you know, I'm sure Joe Pesci's probably a fake proud Catholic.

And he's kind of doing his character on the show. Yeah. And so just look at this tweet. It goes, also, fuck Joe Pesci and everyone who was involved in this. So let's watch this clip here. But before we start the show there's a little matter I want to clear up. There was an incident on the

show last week. Sinead O'Connor tore up a picture of the Pope and I thought that was wrong. So I asked somebody to paste it back together. There. I thought it was like Hulk Hogan for a second. It's Hulk Hogan.

He's like, gosh, shit, rotten picture, bud. I think that's a lot better. Thank you. Okay, case closed. It's a joke. It's a joke. They're doing a character. It's a joke.

He's doing a joke. Don't get pissy now. Good God. I mean, why should I let it bother me, right? It wasn't my show. It was Tim Robbins' show. But I'll tell you one thing. She was very lucky it wasn't my show. Because if it

was my show, I would have gave her such a smack. He's just openly saying you'd smack a woman. I would have beaten a woman if that was my show. I'd beat women if... Beat the shit out of that guy. I would have grabbed him by her eyebrows.

And it's just, they never stop, these people. It's like, that was a funny clip. Yeah. You know? It's him, it's Joe Pesci. Just shut the fuck up. It's Joe Pesci. Just shut the fuck up. It's Joe Pesci, you retard. He's like three feet tall, dude. He's also

the guy that they would have play this character on the show after Sinead O'Connor did that. Yeah. The eyebrow joke's great. Because she had no hair. She had no fucking hair. It's quite good. No, Pesci's being Pesci. He's a little dirty Italian man from New York City. He's a Catholic. It's quite good. No, Pesci's being Pesci. He's a little dirty Italian man from New York City.

He's a Catholic. It's like that's what every, all of his friends, all of his family, they all have the same belief. It's like he's just being honest. That's the opinion that he would have. It's so naive to think that he would think anything else. Right. It is hilarious the disconnect that Italian guys that are like Joe Pesci have with stuff like that. They're like, that was very offensive.

I'm a Catholic. What she should have done, she should have stabbed the guy in the neck with a pen! The things they portray are completely, they play monsters on screen that are just they have charisma, but then they're like,

but I'm also a proud Catholic. I'm a peaceful man. You know what? One of the things that helped me get through mass when we were kids. What? When we had to go to the- Cutting a hole in your pocket and jacking off. Jacking off. Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah. To the upskirt of the priest. God, he had a great sack. Was I was obsessed with mafia movies and like The Godfather and shit. So I didn't know. I didn't care aboutfather and shit. So I hated, I didn't know, I didn't care about religion or anything, but I'd be in there. And for a few months, I was like happy to do it

because it felt like I was like in The Godfather. Yeah, you felt like it was a thing. I liked it. Like I would do the Our Father, I'd do the Holy Ghost thing. And I remember when I would do it, I'd be like, I would imagine like a guy getting his eyes shot out

and like a baby being christened. You know, like that, like when I was be like, I would imagine a guy getting his eyes shot out and a baby being christened. When I was a kid, I thought religion meant you were in organized crime. Yeah, it was getting you closer to your goals. Gang members always had crosses around their neck and shit like that. So I always thought religion meant you were a criminal, and that's cool. I have even a more embarrassing one. When I was like 13 i saw the boondock saints and i loved it we all did you did okay good in the day yeah yeah but so like

they're catholic uh guys to get a message from god and i did the exact same thing where after i saw it i was like just more aggressively like i'm a fucking adventureist. I'm just going like, God, just give me one excuse. Give me a message, God. I want to punish people. It made you feel good. It got the juices flowing. I'd go to Mass and I'd be like, Father, please forgive me for my sins for I have stolen 75

cents from the cafeteria. Did you guys both have to do confessions? Yeah, we had to do it once a year. We didn't have to do confessions. We were encouraged to do it once a year. Did you do it to do confessions. We were encouraged to do it once a year. Did you do it? At a certain time. Well, yeah, John had a lot to do.

I don't remember. I probably just said jacked off a lot. I swear to God, I think I told the priest that one. Really? That's what I told my priest every time. I was like, I can't stop beating my cock. It was crazy. But also, I had kind of a perverted priest, I think, because...

He was like, you know. Exactly. What do you want else to do? It's like when I'm kind of a perverted priest, I think, because... He goes, like, yeah. Exactly. What do you want else to do? It's like when I'm talking to a chick now, and she says something kind of hot, and I'm like, oh, yeah, what else? Tell me a little bit more. The priest is like, do you stick a finger in your ass? He goes, you know the ass is where the G-spot is for men.

The priest is riding a Sibian. You're like, Father, what's that humming? But he would go, he'd be like, because I'd be like, oh, I think I stole, I stole a candy bar

and I lied to my parents. I'd just try to get out easy. Yeah. He would even go like, do you watch any porn? Do you watch any porn? He brought it up. Yeah, yeah, he brought it up. And then I'd be like, yes he would even go like, like you watch any porn? Do you watch any porn? He brought it up. Yeah,

yeah, he brought it up. And then I'd be like, yes. He'd go like, what's up? You just had a little look on your face. Maybe I was like,

maybe I was horny. Yeah, you had a saucy look. I was like, I was horny for the priest. And then he would go, what's your password? He goes,

you got a bang bro's password? But then I remember I was like, yes, I like kind of nervously admitted that I have looked at porn. And then he'd go, you do anything else? And he goes, how do you do it? From the base to the tip? He goes, I don't understand.

He goes, I still don't understand. Why don't you do it right now? He goes, try it right now. I'm like, I can't picture it. Why don't you just show me? He goes, listen, I'm looking straight ahead. Just try it. My eyes are closed. He goes,

my eyes are closed. He goes, I could come to the sounds. Yeah. Yeah. No, I never, I don't think I ever did a confession. Yeah, I just stopped going after a while. It was just fucking, I'm not showing up for that shit. They made us go at mine. I would skip school at that point.

My senior year. I was like fucking in 9th grade or 8th grade. You went to a Catholic school? After a while, it was an utter hell. It's the most miserable church. I had to go back. Standing and sitting.

It's like the only exercise those fat fucks get. I had to go back for a baptism recently to that same church that we went to. The one by St. Francis? Yeah. And I did a whole mass there. My buddy's baby's getting baptized. And I literally, the second I stepped foot in that fucking building, I couldn't stop goofing off.

It was like some weird aura in my fucking head. High school hit you all over again? Oh, my God. The organ music playing. And I kept pretending I was cranking up one of those jack-in-the-boxes because it was it was just like me and my friends couldn't stop laughing because we you know it's all my high school buddies oh yeah i remember remember when they would when you were disrupting they'd send you to the top you'd have to go i think it's sent up there i got sent to the top all the time the fucking oh really yeah i got sent to

the abraham lincoln assassination uh balcony who would always look up at you idiots and be like, what the fuck? And I'd be standing there next to like two pedophiles. They'd be eyeing me. His tits are growing in. The priest walked by us. They go, he's getting plump. The priest walked by us and he was like, don't you boys fall asleep during my sermon? It was like a real saucy thing he said to us.

I was like, how does he fucking know we're going to do that shit? It was crazy. Because he knows he's the most boring man on earth. He's a fucking Catholic. The only person who says that is someone who's seen a million people fall asleep while they're talking. Tons of Filipinos. Full of Filipinos.

You know what's interesting? I was looking at young, like teenage Filipino guys. They all look like The Game. They all look like the game. Is that something? They all look like the rapper, the game. No, they like line up their hair and shit. They line up their hair and they have the same nose as the game.

Yeah, I've seen that. Guys named like Bilal Hernandez and shit. Bilal. Whatever their names are. You know, know yeah I guess they've been they've been kind of hijacking because I feel like

a lot of Filipinos they're more like Mexican they're more aligned with Mexican and black culture than like Korean or Chinese just based on where they live

and shit you know what I mean especially in Los Angeles yeah especially like Eagle Rock and stuff how would a Filipino sound Devin

if they were like trying to join the Cribs? Fuck, I haven't done a Filipino voice in a while. That's what the Asian boys are. That's what Tug-O-Lug sounds like. Devin is the funniest Filipino voice ever. Man, I did it great one night, but I was so hammered.

I fucking, I'm not sure. Devin started doing it one night when we were both drinking because we were at a Filipino karaoke bar. What? And I just, I was belly laughing for, I swear to God, like an hour and I just kept going, do it again, do it again.

Do it again. If you want, I need to, I want to come into your gang. Can I join gang? If I could join gang, I could bring the grape soda. We put grape soda. We can marinate

the chicken in the grape soda. That's what we do. We like to put Skiddos in the fried rice. That is weird. It also kind of sounds Thai. Or not Thai. It sounds like the ladies that do. Yeah, it's not really Filipino. It's good.

I love you. Thanks, guys. I love you. Thank you so much. I was about to kill myself. Floyd Mayweather says that he witnessed Tupac's murder. He's never told anybody. And I'm like, well, Sam, you know, our friend Sam Jay,

she posted a tweet where she's like, there's no statute of limitations for murder. Like, he could be in some trouble for announcing this. Yeah. Floyd Mayweather claims he witnessed Tupac's murder. I never told nobody. And the thing that I thought the minute I saw this, we all know that Floyd has some problems with literacy.

I imagine he couldn't read the with, uh, literacy. I, I imagine he couldn't read the situation properly. Very good. Right folks. Right everybody. Am I right? Very, very good.

Somebody somewhere's in their car going, that was good. Someone's pulling over. And anyway, that's all I have on that. Just wanted to make one stupid joke. My favorite thing, I don't know why, I was listening to a clip

somebody sent me of her own podcast the other day. Devin did one of those and we said very good and he just goes, oh, come on, I'm trying here. Dude, I do like 20 of those an episode. I know, but I just love you going, oh, come on, I'm trying. And then you're like, next, next.

Quickly, divert. It's like there's a guy off screen with a big cane that's going to pull him off. Oh, fuck. God, it's hot as shit down here, dude. Oh, my God. I'm not that bad right now. I run hot, too. I like it.

I like it. I will be sweating by the end of these, but I'm not that bad right now, still. Well, you've been down here for longer, though. That's why. I sit down here. I'm in the lab all day, you know, pulling clips. Get out to the otters, then.

Coordinate. This is where the otters hang. Bears are only welcome for two hours at a time. I imagine neither of you had the time to see the two movies. Barbie and Oppenheimer. I want to see

Oppenheimer, but no, I haven't seen either one. Yeah. Well, I was dragged to both. Oh, wow. Is this Connor? Oh, I know. Oh, shit. No, they were all sold out in New York. Barbie stinks. You know, it's weird, though. It almost felt like it was made by me.

It's like it felt, it just felt like it was like, yeah, women are, they suck as much in Barbie land as they do in real life, and guys rock. That's what the movie felt like. If Ryan Gosling wasn't in that movie, I would have blown my head off. It was just very forced. Every scene's very deliberate. It's just every... It's anti-woman.

It's not. In my mind, it was anti-woman because the women were so annoying and the guys kicked ass. What were they doing that was annoying and why was Goss saving the day? Well, it's just the things that they say are all very forced feminist things. Like, it's not nuanced on any level. They're just, so, like, Barbie and Ken go into the real world, kind of like how in Elf, when Elf goes into, you know, he leaves Santa's lair. Santa's lair.

And he goes into New York. And they did that way better in Elf, because people in New York were like, the fuck is wrong with you? Yeah. Barbie and Ken go in and for a little bit people are making fun of them but then these construction workers start catcalling Barbie

and then Ken and then they both go, we don't have genitals or whatever. And then the construction workers go, well that's fine. They're all woke construction workers. They go, no problem with that. And then everyone in the real world's also as wacky as them so it doesn't feel like the real world and then will smith is the head of mattel and that's embarrassing they're they're all aware

that barbie's come to life sometimes and leave and i don't know then america ferreira plays the lady because barbie starts malfunctioning and having like thoughts of death and shit in barbie land give me give me one sec. Is Barbie a toy in the movie, but she looks like a human? Technically, they're toys, but you never really see them being played with. They're real people in Barbie land.

How do they get out of Barbie universe? It doesn't make any sense. They just go down a highway and they take a boat and then they take a thing. It's like Elf. It's the same as Elf, basically. So then they wind up on venice beach like eventually they just rollerblade into venice beach you know as barbie and ken is it like a normal part of the barbie verse life to travel out of barbie verse or do they was it an accident no they she's barbie is told by ugly barbie like a barbie that got fucked with by by a teenager that didn't care anymore,

so drew on a Barbie and made them all weird, who's played by Kate McKinnon. So then Kate McKinnon's the Ugly Barbie that tells Barbie she has to go into the real world. Good casting, gone. And she has to find... She has to... She has to find the owner of her Barbie

who's starting to fuck with her and having weird thoughts. Okay. And then that's inflicting onto Margot Robbie robbie's barbie or whatever so it's retarded but america ferreira plays this 40 year old mom who's the who's the owner of margot robbie's barbie and they and she's giving all these like feminist speeches and shit and how hard it is to be a woman but she's like a mentally insane woman that's still playing with barbies and like writing manifestos and shit oh her owner isn't a child

it's a full-grown adult 40 year old woman what the fuck oh no no it's a it's a child but then but then the child finds out her mom has been playing with her barbies oh so she's got like is the mom aware that the Barbies are sentient? She, yeah, pretty much because she like rescues Barbie from Mattel. It sucks. This is bizarre.

Dude, it's very weird. Listen, it's also bizarre that like Greta Gerwig and Noah Baumbach like made this. Yeah, it's very lame. Like it's like, that's your next foray?

Like you're going to make toy movies? Like, you know, they've worked, every movie they make is about, you know, the most obnoxious Jew of all time or it's about it's it's you know sophisticated like you know indie indie movies it's it's like if fucking we found out like all the did you guys hear the new cabbage

patch kid movies being directed by ingmar bergen it was just odd and so uh yeah by the way the kid so barbie goes to the high school finds the kid that owns her yeah, by the way, the kid, so Barbie goes to the high school, finds the kid that owns her, walks up to the table, and the kid's like a freshman in high school, I guess, immediately goes on this big rant about fascism and bimbos and just saying all these things. I'm like, I guess some Gen Z people are saying stuff like that now, but it was just everything was so on the nose and so deliberate.

But then Ken goes to the real world, and Ken comes comes back and he's like, yeah, I've been being negged by Barbie. I'm sick of this shit. So he takes over Barbie land. He calls it Kendum. Nice. And he just like starts wearing like a mink coat and being like a pimp. There's like a six minute scene in the movie that kicks ass where Ryan Gosling takes over

Barbie land and he's just, it's just like a guy's rock moment. Yeah. But then the rest of the movie just was really brutal to watch. Um, and, uh, yeah, that's,

he just like turn it into a Hooters or like what it was along those lines. Kind of. Is he banging all Barbies? No, but he takes Barbies home. He like, he renovated, like he takes Barbies home.

He makes like saloon doors on the fucking whatever it was. It was cool. It was funny enough, but i'm watching the movie i'm like i know this movie's trying to make a point that like that's like you know men are retarded and women are they have it hard but also it was like trying to be fair so it thought it was being nuanced because it also shows how the patriarchy you know how men are fucked with too or whatever but it just it was just too forced it was so forced like every movie you go see now it's like do they think we're all retarded yeah and they do they do they do 100 so

i saw oppenheimer yeah what was that like oh my god dude it's like a fucking highlight tape for nerds i heard it was a wall-to-wall soundtrack soundtrack never stops because christopher nolan doesn't believe in any of his characters having any human emotion or sitting in any scene because he has no soul. Yeah. His movies have no soul. I like Interstellar and I like some of the Batmans. Batmans are good because he had people telling him to shut the fuck up. Well, they look great.

They look great. And he also had the help of Heath Ledger giving the performance of a lifetime. The guy died for it. And Bale kicked ass. Bale kicked ass. Other than that, I fucking agree. Soulless movies. Soulless movies. Soulless movies. The movie should have been called

Historically Important Fags with Transatlantic Accents. The whole movie is just a lot of people saying shit where you're like, I'm kind of aware of what's going on, but I don't really know what you're talking about. And then they would have a line where it just feeds the audience. This is what's going on. Like an obvious line.

Oh, fish out of water. You know, kind of. And it's just way too fucking long. And how long was it? Three hours. Give me fucking shit. I was falling asleep the last half. They also don't fucking

they don't show them bomb Hiroshima or Nagasaki. What? Which I'm like, this is I thought this movie was about Jews that hated sushi. Hang on a minute. Oppenheimer was a Jew that just hated sushi because it's not kosher.

Oh, I didn't know he was a Jew. We're going to drop that. I didn't know that until like last week. I looked it up. So you knew on that joke and you still didn't really laugh. I thought it was great. I laughed. Jews that hate sushi. He didn't laugh. Laugh to the side. Exactly. I laughed to the side you still didn't really laugh. I thought it was great. I laughed. Wait, he didn't laugh to the side.

Exactly. I laughed to the side. You kind of, you're hiding your laugh. Listen, buddy, you can't, you know,

well, John, if I would've known he was a Jew, I think I would've been like cackling. I don't think you would've. Here's the thing, bro. I'm not sure there's a single scene in the movie that's longer than seven seconds.

It felt like, it felt like a, it felt like a TikTok movie, but pretending to be really great. So how do they do the nukes? Is it like somebody comes up to them and goes like, hey, the nukes have been dropped, but you never see it? Yeah, so basically it all leads up to Oppenheimer's just dead set on making the nukes

because he's like, you know, we have to win this war. If the Nazis get them first. If the Nazis get them first and shit. And then after they test it out, shortly after they tested in new mexico because that's where he set up a whole town in los alamos new mexico and they test it and that's the one scene where you finally see like the nuke you know and the aftershock and all that sure they're all looking at it was that in a test it was cool enough like in the desert and like nothing even exploded like ruined everyone's lives in new mexico that live there and

shit and and um so then right after that like like a like a few days later oppenheimer just finds out that they've already dropped them on hiroshima and nagasaki and then he feels all guilty because he like i guess he didn't think they were gonna fucking use him he's the gayest guy he sucks ass he's one of the gayest he sucks ass he can suck my ass he's a yo he might as well been doing yo-yo tricks the whole movie with his fucking stupid hat, his stupid pork pie hat, and all his stupid fucking Austrian genius

friends and whatever the fuck they are. I don't know, man. I just couldn't give a fuck. I couldn't give a fuck about it. There's a 45-minute sequence in the middle where you're like, alright, alright, hell yeah. But the whole movie... What was that? Yeah, what was that about? It's like when it's gearing up. When you're like... When you're like, man, alright, hell yeah. But the whole movie... What was that? Yeah, what was that about? It's like when it's gearing up. When you're like...

When you're like, man, they're really, they're creating the most detrimental thing in human history. Yeah. You know? So that was cool, but then it just, he has his love life in it, which I could, I never give a fuck about. Was he gay? No, he had a history. He was banging everybody.

He tries to poison... By the way, a bunch of spoilers on this. I really don't give a shit. Go see it or not. Who cares? He tries to... At the beginning of the movie, he tries to poison his college professor.

He puts cyanide in his college professor's apple. And then he has a nightmare. Like, what have I done? So he runs back to the college and he sees that it hasn't been eaten yet, but the two professors are there and they're talking to him about theory or, you know,

math and shit. This is like talking about numbers. We should do a thing where I break down movies drunk, like about smart people. And so then he, he, he sees the professor grab the apple. Yeah.

And then he's like trying to like, he wants to grab it out of his hands. And then the professor's saying something. And then he just goes like wormhole. And the professor's like, huh. And then he grabs the apple out of wants to grab it out of his hands. And then the professor's saying something. And then he just goes like wormhole. And the professor's like, huh. And then he grabs the apple out of his hand. And the professors don't think anything weird about that. And so he saves himself from fucking prick.

Just stole my apple. But yeah, I don't know, man. But and then it's the funniest part is that there's a scene where Oppenheimer, he wants to give the land back. He goes, well, can we at least give the land back to the natives? The nuke land? Like, the nuke land. Like, just because he feels so bad and shit. It's like, man.

He is such a pussy. It's like a high-tech poison blanket. Yeah. They should have had a scene. It's a smallpox blanket, but it's a fucking radiated desert. He's like, no, no, no. I respect the people of New Mexico. We put hatch chili on the atomic bomb.

I just didn't care, man. It also, I thought the whole point was to see crazy shit. Like, Nolan's whole thing is like, the only thing he can do right, in my opinion, is like, great visuals. And there were some awesome visuals. But I'm like, yes, nobody. I want to see some people perish. Die! That is, at the end of the day,

you have to respect the genre, and you're making a disaster movie. Every single good disaster movie has a great sequence of a town being destroyed, big city, people running, great landmarks being evaporated, shadows being burned into stone yes you missed out on on the easiest i didn't go see the movie to see the new mexican desert be blown up it's almost more to see japanese people be killed and it's irresponsible you know

it's irresponsible to not show that yeah in a heady movie about the nuclear bomb it's irresponsible. Because I thought you may, you know. It's irresponsible to not show that. Yeah. In a heady movie about the nuclear bomb, it's kind of like a fuck you to Japan. Show us the suffering. Show us the suffering. Let the audience know the suffering that came from this. You know, instead of Japanese people, they show Oppenheimer give a speech in Los Alamos to all these patriots, like, because the war's over. The South Pacific's been won, basically. And he's giving a speech and everyone's cheering and he's kind of doing this like raw raw

america stuff but he hates himself and he started and then and then the whole movie is like smash cuts in between oppenheimer there's no pacing in between him speaking to seeing like an atom explode or like the whole like the whole like room shakes and you know he hears a bomb blast or whatever or it cuts to fire and explosions and then it comes back to his speech and he starts seeing the white people in the room that are cheering like their faces coming off and shit. But still. Terminator 2 did that much better. Still. Did anybody

grab onto a fence and get their skeletons? I wish. They just got to that exact scene. He recycles it. Yeah. It was another dud for me. Another Nolan dud. The first five minutes, you're like, oh, this is a Nolan movie. Do you like Interstellar?

I still haven't seen Interstellar. Whoa! Because I never saw it on a big screen, so I've always been like, I don't want to watch it on my stupid little TV. And you hate sci-fi. I feel like you... No, it's not sci-fi, is it, though? It is. Oh, big time. It's big time sci-fi. I thought it's like space. Yeah, but... No, but they're not like...

There's no talking... They're going to other planets. There's not like a green raccoon and shit in it, right? No, it's not like fully fantastical, but you know, it's about stuff

that doesn't exist now in science. It's high concept science fiction. But there's still crazy effects and visuals. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I think I would dig Interstellar.

Let's watch it next time. I love McConaughey. Next movie we watch, McConaughey. Next movie we'll watch, McConaughey kicks ass. It's like a Buick commercial, right? Big Buick commercial. The rocket ship is a Buick. Next time you're trying to go.

I think it's a Lincoln. If you want to go to a new planet. Lincoln, yeah, yeah. If you want to go to a new planet, you got to get yourself a Lincoln. Lincoln GHC. Yeah, man. I'll never see the movie again.

Yeah. It was so repetitive. Just repetition. The same thing over and over and over in a new way. Sorry, it's not fun to watch guys do math. I don't care if they're creating the most

crazy thing ever. There are some good math beautiful mind and I really liked the most crazy thing ever. There are some good math... A Beautiful Mind. Beautiful Mind. Yeah. And I really liked... First of all, Beautiful Mind is the shit. Amazing movie.

And then I liked... Fuck. What is it called? First Man. First Man. I never saw that. Oh, I was... Who was the lead in that?

It was Reynolds, right? Or Gosling. Yeah, Gosling. Gosling's in it. That's about going to the moon, right? Yeah, yeah. That sounds fantastic. It's the guy that made La La Land and Whiplash and shit.

I think people like Devin wrote it off after La La Land. I hated La La Land. Yeah, I need to see that. That was really good. His daughter dies very young. Is this Is this What Louis Armstrong What no

Fucking Neil Armstrong Yeah yeah And then so He goes back to NASA Like the day after Cause he's like We don't

We don't skip days You're like This is We're This is You know We're men We're pilots

Exactly I'm a test pilot And I'm fucking working for NASA Hardest dudes on earth And then it's just him It cuts to him Just like with a pencil doing math, and he's like scribbling. He's doing the math really hard with the pencil, and he fucking breaks the pencil. Yeah.

And he's just like, I got to get to space, but fuck, I miss my daughter. It's so funny. Yeah, it's really good. It's good as fuck, I think. But for the most part, I know what Devin's saying. If you want to do a math movie, you have to really get some soul. A Beautiful Mind was pure soul. First Man,

tons of soul. Christopher Nolan can't do that, so it's just math. I had no soul, bro. Listen, I know I'm being pig-headed on purpose at times, but I was aware of what's going on. It's just i don't need

to keep seeing the same fucking thing over and over and over again and you know the movie should have shown more of like of of what's going on with world war ii and you're not saying anything unreasonable like from uh you're not you don't sound you're not saying anything unreasonable you're not coming from it from an angle of i might it might go bay explosions it's more it's it's there's a there's a broader thing happening outside of oppenheimer which is something oppenheimer couldn't even comprehend which is the reason he was so fucking gay is that there are thousands of people dying every day and for to him it became this kind of borderline narcissistic thing where he is i am death destroyer of worlds like honestly like in the perfect do they have the scene did they have a scene where he confronted truman about

it yeah truman calls him like a calls him a pussy yeah imagine me that was like one of the better scenes in the movie imagine me the guy who dropped the bomb and then this fucking like pussy comes to your office and is like i feel bad about making it yeah yeah yeah fuck off Yeah. It really isn't even that great of a bomb. I'm not even kidding. It's the best bomb. What are you talking about? I guess like pound for pound, it's the most powerful or whatever, but it's like not the deadliest.

It isn't? No. The deadliest one used for sure. Oh, no. Like a fucking fire bombs have killed more people than here. Those are multiple bombs, though. Single bomb, single unit bomb. Yeah, that's why I said pound for pound.

Okay. Pound for pound. Like, my brother hit me up and was like, dude, for, like, I just watched Op, and I was like, you love bombs. Like, why don't you ever talk about Op? And I was basically just said, like, first of all, it's overrated deadliness-wise. And also, plutonium is the most pretentious material on fucking planet Earth. Where it's like, nobody can get it.

If Ted Kaczynski got his hands on plutonium... It'd be a game over. I mean, Truman in fucking Oppenheimer would have looked like the biggest cucks in town. Not the take I expected, but I guess I should have. Yeah, honestly, they didn't kill enough. I don't think that. I'm just saying that it's like, you know, technically overrated, very good science, but just not really executable in terms of damage

because of how precious plutonium is. Yeah, man. I don't know. It was just, it's not a bad movie by any stretch. It's fine. But it's just, it felt like it would have been played in a school. Yeah. You know?

A lazy teacher puts it on. A lazy teacher puts it on. It's made for lazy kids three hours long. Christopher Nolan, when he does movies like this, he's like, a bunch of lazy teachers across the nation. We'll be wheeling this out. The studio's like, lazy teachers. This is one of our biggest markets.

Yeah, that's all I got to say on that. I mean, you ever see a movie also where you go, I'll never watch this again? Yeah. That was it. It was one of those. It was the same with Game of Thrones for me. I remember finishing Game of Thrones and being like,

I'm never going to watch that ever again. And nobody remembers that shit. Nobody even talks about it. It wasn't the last season, one of the worst last seasons of a great show ever? But the thing is, it's too much. Yeah. That's why I bother. In the last season of Game of Thrones, aren't they all drinking Frappuccinos?

Oh, yeah. It's like coffee goes to the left end scenes. Oh, fuck. All right. Well, we got some other stuff. We got some crazy stuff going on in San Francisco. I don't know if you guys have heard. Oh, I saw that.

I hope it's David DePappe. No, no. DePappe's gone loose. They haven't let DePappe out. DePappe escaped from Alcatraz. Like The Rock. He's got two hammers. So this is, I guess, a stolen car drives off a cliff, lands upside down in San Francisco.

This video was pretty crazy, so this is, check this out. The thing is, San Francisco is so bad, they were probably just trying to jump two Alcatrabs, which is now likely the safest neighborhood in the whole city. He thought he was playing, like, GTA, standing jazz. The funniest thing is that it's a stolen car, but still all these regular people

come and, like, help them and get them out and shit. Well, you don't know, you know. Yeah, you never know. You never know. Like, oh, it's one of the Kia boys leaving. These damn Kia boys!

And then, did you guys see the lady fucking shooting on the freeway? Yes, dude. Oh, my. That was insane. God, dude. Hold on.

Let me find this shit. Dude. She's still not charged. Shut the fuck up. This lady's still not charged. They're evaluating her. Oh, she's probably. Have you seen this?

No. This is, it made me, like, scared the other day. So, there's a car. Some lady just, like, turned her car on the fucking highway. I think on, like, the bridge to go into San Francisco or somewhere in the Bay. And she's just naked in the street firing a gun at cars. Oh, shit. Holy shit.

He is shooting. Dude. Holy shit dude Just firing it Could you do full screen or is that Oh my god Oh my god Nope Holy shit

Hit the gas Whoa Yeah why are you guys so fucking chill about Driving Why are you stopping What the fuck I think she ran out. She ran out. She ran out? Yeah, the

guns... Holy shit. You know what's crazy is that's probably the mayor. That's their Lori Lightfoot. Did you hit her with a car in that situation? That's what I was saying. I was saying to Ben and Jason today, I was like, man, when I saw that video, I was was like i don't know if i would have the restraint to not i would be in such fear of my life like you know those cars on the right you would be so funny in

that situation dude the cars these cars right here these cars right here right next to her and they go if i saw she had a gun i would have plowed into her i would have like i would have hit her with my car. You'd be fully okay to do that. Would I be okay? You never know, though, in California. I think if someone's actively shooting, yeah, I think you'd probably be okay in all 50 states. Because that was my first thought.

I was like, why is nobody ramming her? I would have hit her. You having a panic attack and then just passing the accelerator. I would be so fucking fine. That's my first thought. Devin hitting a woman, a naked woman in his car. Well, yeah, what would you do?

Would you not hit her? I don't know what I'd do, but just the idea of you doing that Would you casually drive by her thinking she won't just shoot right at my car? I don't know, but like... If I saw her shooting at cars.

She was shooting at cars. Into cars. Did you see the video? I couldn't really tell if she was aiming right at them. Well, yeah, but who cares? The aim is like. If it looked like she was just shooting pot shots in the air, I might just be like, let's keep cruising. She wasn't just shooting in the sky.

She's shooting at all. Yeah, she's aiming. I feel like I can detect malicious. Look at that. She's shooting at all. Yeah, she's aiming. I feel like she's got to leave her stance. I can detect malicious. Look at that. She's in full aim position. Go full screen again. She shoots at that Toyota Highlander.

Holy shit. It's hard to see the end. Look at that. Holy shit. She looks like this. She looks up into the sky a little bit. No, bro. She's aiming forward.

If I was that Subaru, I'd ram her right in her back. Holy shit, dude. Everyone's also texting and they're playing music. Look at that. She's in the aim position, Joey. Where'd that bullet go? Go back and freeze frame. Look at this.

Full screen. Full screen at the when she shoots. Zoom in on her tits. Oh my God. Oh, fuck that. It's a lady. Why are they like not freaking the fuck out? That's at cars, dude.

These guys sound like military dudes on the recording because they're like, oh, she just, her clip's empty. Like they detected the fact. Yeah, they knew her clip was empty. Yeah, yeah. But yeah, man. When I saw that, I go, I would hit her. And I'd be afraid about like what happens to me afterwards.

You probably have to talk to people and explain yourself, but I think ultimately you would have been let off. Yeah. There's like a flight style movie about a guy who hits a naked black woman on the freeway. But I'm drunk at the time. You're driving drunk, but you hit a black woman who's taking

bot shots on the Oakland freeway. And they're just really testing me. They're like, nobody could have pulled that maneuver off. You clipped her from the side. You did a 360J turn and then you hit her with the back of your car.

You drifted right into her. That freaked me the fuck out, man. That'd be a really fun moral conundrum to tell a lawyer. Be like, listen, you're driving drunk, but you hit a woman who's actively aiming a gun at other people on the freeway and shooting. Could you be charged?

Well, yeah, you can still get a DUI, but you're not going to get charged. But murder? No, you're not going to get charged with murder. Well, yeah. In other news, John, I found your burner account on reddit uh i swear to god i have some of the worst smelling farts and shits on earth what am i supposed to do 25 000 upvotes dude i'm glad i'm doing really good so john goes all of my partners have told me this, and sometimes it shocks even myself.

During one such time, I accidentally let out an SBD on a plane. What's an SBD, dude? A super big. Silent but deadly. Silent but deadly. Oh, good, good. And within 60 seconds, the stewardess went over the intercom to let everyone know that the restrooms were open.

I shit you not, I'm not being dramatic. It's bad. I'm not being dramatic It's bad I'm currently sitting In the restroom Shocked at the wickedness That has just come out Of my asshole Wickedness

Wow this guy's me dude Fumigating in my own Death stench Repugnated by my Bowel movement Wondering what the hell Is wrong with my Digestive tract

Walt Shipman What a Walt Shipman Yes What a great writer dude What a great writer You know. What a great writer. You know, by the way, Matty Rat just had his 30th birthday.

This beautiful prose reminded me. Of Matty. Happy birthday, Matty Rat, our greatest commenter. And by the way, I saw, because I'm friends with Matty Rat, he's anonymous. I'm not going to reveal his true identity.

But he gave up on his dreams of becoming a paleontologist because he turned 30 years old. And he believes... It on his dreams of becoming a paleontologist because he turned 30 years old. Why? And he believes... It's too old to be a paleontologist. No. He's like,

listen, I've given up on the fact that I'm going to be a great paleontologist because I just turned 30. He goes, but I'm very thankful that some people appreciate me.

And then it was a screenshot of us. Of us? Wow. And he just turned 30. And listen, don't give up on that, Matty Rant. Sorry, this is an odd time to bring this up. I had to do it because I love him and I love his comments so much.

It's kind of funny that he looks at us like we're already dead. Like he's a paleontologist. He goes, but the only fossils that appreciate me are the three men on the Hit Watch pod. Poor Matty Rant. Matty, you're not too old. 30 is young. You're in Guyana right now. You're fucking on the hate watch pod. Poor Matty. Matty, you're not too old. 30's young. You're in Guyana right now. You're fucking on the beach.

Live your life. Live your life, dude. Be a paleontologist. Be a paleontologist. Maybe it's not sensual enough for him. He's a very erotic guy. Maybe it's not erotic enough for him. What's more erotic than finding old bones and brushing them gently with a brush? You're looking like these two

dinosaurs fucking. You know? That's very erotic. Like the curves of their tits and shit. The swiftness with which the Big Bang happened was so sensual and erotic. Just running his finger down a T-Rex femur. That guy's got one of the best vocabularies

on the internet. He's a goddamn we were shocked at first that you're schizophrenic commenting and then we realized you're actually well he does have a problem like you do need he does he does comment he's a silly no no don't say that but i love him and he's no he's honestly one of the most like well i don't know i've never seen better comments like fantastic supporters i will say so i found this comment that he made recently and uh before i read it i do want to say that i think he's like one of the most unique he's a guy i've confirmed that he's actually a pakistani dude sick and uh i didn't realize that personalities

like this came from Pakistan. And so I just want to say he's like a very unique and I've never read anybody that wrote like him before. But so here is this my most recent favorite comment of his and it was on the last episode. John,

did you say something about like getting fucked in the ass? Probably. Are you kidding me? No, are you kidding me? Every episode. Was it a day of the week? Yeah, it was a beer shit in the woods, bud. What's going on?

So he goes, I would love to watch John make it flower right there at the table. Wow. Such proximity. The first time a heavyset man flowers is always a thrilling experience. Whoa. Holy fuck, Matty. There should always be someone there to push the

flower back inside. I love that picture of Chris Christie in his baseball outfit, to be quite honest. Something about a large man bearing forth his small pup is just so beautiful. Man. Thank you for being nice to me, Joey.

It's been a while since I slept. What is his last thing? He never sleeps. He goes, it's been a while since I slept and I had to scream so loud today to force myself awake so I don't get the sting. The sting. What the fuck does that mean, dude? He doesn't explain. This guy kicks ass.

He doesn't explain. Holy fuck. No, I think he's, like, listen, I can't tell if he's legitimately mentally insane or he's doing, or he's, like, an incredible comedian, like, an incredible prankster. Might be a little combo.

Might be a combo of both. I've him i would love to like a latent homosexual living in a country that's openly gay he's openly yeah that's great yeah he's oh he always all his comments are what i have gay sex with he's like shredded too maybe oh in real life he doesn't admit it in real life he doesn't admit it so he goes to the comment section and he goes sure sure he's right he's right yeah that's possible 50 shades of gray in our car i want to talk to him on the phone i want to like quiz one of his friends and just be like hey you're friends with maddie can i just ask you like 20 questions like what is this guy like you know is he does he make you laugh is he as funny in person as he is on the internet he might be one of those guys that only can articulate through through words yeah yeah like through

through right also how the fuck is he so articulate in English? He's obviously, like, a genius. He's got to be a genius of some kind. I think he has, like, a very high IQ. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But he's very sensual, which is not something you usually come to for high IQ people. He's very sensual. The man's words drip.

No, that's the thing. He's so fucking sensual. He's sexy. He's erotic. He's so fucking sensual. He's sexy. He's erotic. He's sexy. Matty Rat's sexy. Nobody wants to admit it, but it's sexy. God bless Matty Rat as usual.

And I think most of our listeners know who Matty Rat is at this point. Everyone on YouTube, like, all the comments are now, like, I see a ton where it's just, like, where's Matty? Where's Matty Rat is at this point. Everyone on YouTube, like, all the comments are now, like, I see a ton where it's just like, where's Matty? Where's Matty? And then he'll post it and people will go now, like, I love you,

Matty. Like, keep commenting. Never stop. Never stop. He's amazing. He's an icon. Yeah.

I love him. Now, truly, unbelievable comments. Hey, everybody say they love Matty Rat. I love Matty Rat. I love you,

Matty Rat. I love Matty Rat. You're the best. You can get through whatever you're going through. You can get some they love Matty Ratt. I love Matty Ratt. I love you, Matty Ratt. I love Matty Ratt. You're the best. You can get through whatever you're going through. You can get some sleep. Happy belated birthday. You will sleep. You will sleep eventually.

He's like a gay Edward Norton in Fight Club. Gay Pakistani Edward Norton. Gay Pakistani Edward Norton. Instead of Tyler Durden, it's Devin Costa. Oh, fuck. I have to piss. Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right.

Boy, it is hot as shit down here. I'm not even hot still. You're still not hot. I'm doing fine. I sweat. I'm doing fine. I'm a sweater. I'm built for heat. I'm a sweater.

Yeah. So, what is this? Well, a guy gets upset when someone sits next to him at the airport terminal. And has that... Listen, this guy is like a little insane. Obviously. But if there is a seat open that's not directly next to me, anywhere I am, I get very subtly furious at the person. You ever be in a movie,

and it's not packed, and people sit directly next to you? I do always have an urge to turn and be like, what's your fucking problem? Yeah, it's pissing right next to you. What is wrong with you? Yeah.

Literally, what is wrong with you? Yeah. It's a bizarre invasion of space. Also, I've never been in an airport where you couldn't just go to like the next terminal over that no plane is landing in the next three hours just go to the empty one like why do people have to be right near the terminal exactly so watch this video i mean he's a little he's a crazy man obviously yeah but you don't sit down on my shit Oh he's old Yeah he's retarded I see Jesse I see Jesse

Oh this guy's handling it like a chat Well see he didn't sit down on any of his shit The guy's just insane He's not sitting on anything Oh he's black He's sitting on a chair Oh dude And it's a black dude really pissed off

I thought the headphones were white hair No no no it's black He's got the neck pillow It's black. He's got the neck pillow. He's got headphones. He's popping off. Fucking Moby is talking to him. Get the

fuck up. There we go. Still crazy to sit that close to him. Why would he be there? What are you doing buddy is this guy is he in the sea is he like an fbi informant or something yeah what's going on agent like why are you still sitting so close to him fucking steve jobs the guy's obviously a little insane he doesn't like people sitting next to him uh you know also the the here's the deal if that guy was yelling at you if he's being completely if there wasn't an open seat next to you and it

was like a full-ass terminal, and that guy sat down and started freaking out, then I would understand. Then he's insane. But I would like the guy... I mean, the guy's being insane, bottom line. But if I sat down next to the dude and he popped off like that, I'd be like, hey, buddy, relax. I'm sorry.

I'll move over. I'll move over. I don't need your time for this. I don't have time for your bullshit. Yeah, man. I mean, flying's crazy. You know what's crazy? Anyone could just buy a flight.

They could buy a ticket to a flight. Can felons fly? I don't think they can. I don't know if... I don't think they could get on airplanes and shit. It feels like they can. Maybe they're out of parole. Can felons fly, Joey?

Yeah. On Con Air? On Con Air? Felons can book tickets, I think. They can get on planes. Yeah. I thought they couldn't leave the state while they're on parole.

They're on parole, they can't, but after that they can. They can't leave the country. They can never get a passport. A lot of countries will never accept felons into their country. Doesn't that suck? If you come into felony, you'll just never leave the United States. I know Canada doesn't

let anybody in like that. Canada gives people a lot of shit. Post 9-11, America made it very difficult for Canadians to get into America. Good, good. Right? Well, as they should have, because I'm like, Canada, you're not doing enough to stop fucking terrorists from coming in. And then Canada was like, all right, well, fuck you guys then. We're not having anybody with a DUI even. Did the terrorists come in from Canada?

No, but they were protecting their borders. You know, like America, North and South. So they were like, hey, this is like a big, you're one of our biggest threats. Either up your fucking game, either up your game on security, or we're not going to let anybody in. So then Canada got revenge by saying no DUIs,

no a lot of... What did you guys just watch? Awesome. I'm freaking out. I'll show you again. Just a guy at the airport freaks out because a guy sits next to him. You don't sit down on my shit. Which he's not.

He's sitting in a chair next to him. He's not sitting on any of his stuff. I suggest you come back. I suggest you... I see Jesse. I see Jesse. It would be great if they were seated next to each other on the plane. You know what?

You know what? That guy seems like he just went through a bunch of shit. Yeah, something happened. Airports give people stress. I'm siding with the guy. Airports really make people flip the fuck out. Yeah, but I do. I have a, it's a half and half.

I hate when people sit next to me and there's other seats. I fucking hate it, and I don't know why. I've never done anything about it, but. I've had a plane that was almost empty, and then for whatever reason, my seat was on next to two people who were sitting next to me. And so I was like, guys,

what's the policy here? Should I go pick a random seat? It's like the polite thing to do. They ended up just being like, no, go ahead and sit down. We don't care. Oh, deranged.

Deranged. Deranged maniacs. But then also it's like there's a weight issue where you can't sit wherever you want because there's like a weight balance thing. Balance on a plane. What?

Yeah. You know about this. Yeah, but that applies. You can't go and sit in an empty seat. It's about the amount of people on the flight, I thought. If it's really empty, I'm sure it could affect the flight. Right, exactly. Yeah.

I've never been on a plane where anybody's made an announcement like that. They need like an evenly distributed balance. It's like a boat. It's crazy. These planes are still not... They don't have it all figured out. Yeah, they have.

That's why they have the rules on the plane. It doesn't feel perfect. It doesn't feel perfect. I don't want... You mean they should have shifting blocks? It's creepy that you're on a flight and they're like, all right, we're putting a bunch of marbles in seat B4 so we don't go down because i guess this is a

pretty archaic technology we still have no clue how this works we don't know how we get anywhere there's a stewardess going like okay there fatso up front okay we need some people in the back i didn't even know what's the biggest size of a dog you could take on a flight because connor and his girlfriend, they're driving because their dog's too big to fly out. I thought they don't have a compartment that's like pressurized. I thought they have one like under. But maybe Connor and they just don't want to torture the dog

and have it sit. You got to knock it the fuck out if it's big. They don't want it to sit in a pound, a flying pound. What is their dog? What kind of dog do they have? Mid-sized poodle dog. I bet they're, like, very close to the limit. That must have just been the limit.

It's like a dog dog. Sure, sure. Like, it's like a dog. Sure. So, I always thought they had a thing under the plane where there was, like, a bunch of animals. Yeah, I think, but if you go under that part of the plane, there's an arc. I always thought under it, yeah, there yeah there's like a guy in a big robe and he's he's he's watching over all of these animals bamboo cages no i think i think if they put

them in that i think there is like i don't i could be completely fucking wrong but i think they're almost positive there's like a little section that's pressurized still that you could put things like that like dogs in there but i'm pretty sure the dogs have to be put asleep to be in there. Oh, because they'll freak the fuck out. and then I think that because they're put asleep,

sometimes it'll like fuck with their ears because they get like, they'll get ear infections. So it's people that love their dogs that don't want to like, yeah,

yeah, yeah. All right. That makes sense. There's no corner this week, is there? Oh, fuck.

I keep meaning to do I thought we were going to take a break for a minute. Hollywood Hangout with Devin. That's the next one. Once again, we're recording a day early. Are you going somewhere tomorrow? Why can't we do it tomorrow? What's going on tomorrow?

I have to go on a boat trip. Oh, fuck yeah, the lake thing. Lake thing with my family. What lake? Nascimento or something. Somewhere up by San Jose. I don't know. It'll be fun, I don't know. I don't know.

It's kind of... It'll be fun, I guess. We'll see. Yeah. But so next week, Hollywood Hangout. Yeah. Oh, wait.

When is Friday? What date? Next Friday is... Is... Because I'll be back on the second. It's fine. You'll be back. Okay, good, good, good.

Yeah, we're doing Devin's Hollywood Hangout. So Devin's like a big Hollywood hot shot. A lot of people don't know this about him, but he's been in a movie, and he met Chris Pratt, and so we're gonna let people... And he grew up in LA.

Yeah. You did too, but Devin met Chris Pratt. Chris Pratt and I hang out sometimes. Like, he met me. I was delivering food to Warner Brothers, and I was in the elevator with him, and he was like, that guy has it. And then Devin got cast in the elevator with him and he was like that guy has it. And then Devin got cast in the movie. And he cast me in Jurassic Park 9.

Yeah. Devin was the otter in the background. He was the voice of an otter that was like squeaking for a millisecond. Feeding it to a team of otters. He's like ooh. But yeah. Real quick you guys want to remember my whole thing about how But yeah. Very good. Yeah. Real quick.

You guys want to remember my whole thing about how, uh, how sea animals are sick of us. Sure. It's the year of the sea animal fighting back more and more, more ammo, more ammo. Check this out.

Look at this. These, this is La Jolla. These sea lions. They're fucking just attacking people. Those people are way up in close to sea lions, bro're fucking just attacking people. Those people are way up close to sea lions, bro. Let's watch. Get out of here, you fat pigs!

Damn, they move. Fuck off! Fuck off, you San Diego fucks! Yeah! Get back to your fucking taco shops Hell yeah dude I love sea animals fighting back I didn't know they moved that

What city was that? La Jolla San Diego Those people are fucking They're rich They've gotten too comfortable Around these giant majestic beauties. Also, sea lions are beautiful, but do not get close to them. They're strong.

They'll bite the fuck out of you. They have huge teeth and they're strong. Yep. Yeah. Just because they run like they have, you know, bone damage. Like they run on, you know... They're flippers. They run on flippers.

Yeah, they have a pretty retarded run. But don't fuck with them. You know, they got retard strength. Sea lions are the retards of the sea. Sure, as Steve Irwin used to say. That's what he said. Sea lions are the retards

of the sea. Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck. Oh, wait. Do you have an ad this week? I got no ads. I'm done with ads because I'm not like a capitalist pig like you guys are. What happened to your ad? I just told them I'm done with this.

Well, it actually happened. There's no ad this week, I guess. I don't know. But I'm also not a capitalist. Be honest. What happened? Did they not respond? No, no. It was just I had one for last week. I guess. I don't know. But I'm also not a capitalist. Be honest. What happened? Did they not respond? No, no. It was just I had one for last week. I still haven't gotten the product, so I don't think they gave me another one. You got abandoned by your sponsor.

Anyways, so Dragon Drink. I love this. Dragon Drink is fucking loyal. They're down. Yeah, so they don't really know how to use the internet. Why don't you guys pull it out in a timely fashion this time? How about you don't rush our fucking ad?

By the way, I spiced this one up, I have to admit. I spiced this one up. I gave it a little pepper. The God wants it, is that okay? No, I think they want it. Every sponsor wants people to make it their own. We've been kind of just editing. That's normal in podcast ads, Devin, right? Where people to like make it their own. We've been like kind of just like editing.

That's normal in podcast ads, Devin, right? Where you kind of make it your own. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. They give you a script and you kind of spice it up. Sometimes they'll tell you like don't make jokes or whatever. I haven't gotten that. But this is a Dagestani company. Nobody said that.

I don't think they. They didn't say anything about it. I don't think they gave us a promo code. I don't think they even know how that works. I don't think they know they hired you guys. Huh? I don't think they even know you that works i don't think they know they hired you guys huh i don't think they even know you're doing this yeah somebody paid us and they i think their idea is brand recognition all right don't do it let's do it okay inshallah brothers don't be sarcastic i'm not i'm

into dragon drink you guys are my brothers in arms you're a fake dragon drink fan and uh you know i'm not wasting the people's time with an ad though. I'm just like, I'm not a capitalist pig. I don't waste time on podcasts. Because they didn't renew your ad. They didn't renew your ad. Why? What hurts? What happened? No, they renewed it. Yes.

Did you injure? What are you doing? I was sleeping on a couch in New York, and I kept sleeping on my shoulder. Connor, no spare bedroom. You'll be sleeping on a couch again. Connor's place out here is going to be huge. Sponsors abandon you. Anyways.

It'll be the street pretty soon. Soon as Factor forgets about you. All right, let's go. Okay, here we go. I'll be on the street. As-salamu alaykum, folks. Hold tight, because we're about to unleash

the craziest energy elixir in the universe. Dragon Drink. Salaam, salaam. Dragon Drink, the rocket fuel for your soul, hails all the way from the wild mountains of Dagestan. And hey, we've got blessings and bloopers for you in our ad today because blessing can be fun. That's right. Let's dive into this crazy concoction. Dragon Drink is packed with more power than a charging ram on a

caffeine high. That's right. With caffeine, this drink is like the wild stallion of energy galloping through your veins, making you fly like a magic carpet ride. What about those B vitamins, partner? They're the secret sauce behind Dagestani's fighters'

endless energy. It's like a one-way ticket to energy land. Devin, can you stop texting? I read. Iless energy. It's like a one-way ticket to energy land. Devin, can you stop texting, girl? I read. I'm not. Anyways. Yeehaw! So true, and taurine,

it's like a tor- terrain of strength ready to launch you to new heights like a jet-fueled magic carpet. But hey, folks, a little warning. Dragon drink is so explosive that you might need to be careful when you crack open that can.

Alu Akbar. It's like having a little firecracker in a can. Kaboom! Handle with care, my friends. Oh, but hold on. Don't let that scare you away because dragon drink is the true fuel of the strong mountain men in the Caucasus. That's right, amigo. Dagestani fighters swear by it, using it to wrestle grizzlies and conquer any challenge that stands their way. And now it's America's turn to be strong, too. Sip on Dragon Drink and you'll be the Superman of your own adventure. Leaping tall buildings. Leaping tall buildings.

These guys are like, are they playing into 9-11? I think they know like four American references. I don't think they can do that. Superman. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Superman. They're like, dragon drink cuts through you like a box cutter.

Oh, no. Oh. What? Oh. No, don't. They're not listening. Go do that. I fucking don't listen.

You fucked my ads up last week for a great American company. Yeah, but that was like comedy. They abandoned you. They don't have the same sense of humor. It's like factor. Yeah, they have honor. What are they't have the same sense of humor. It's like factor. Yeah, they have honor. What are they going to do? Are they going to ride their goats to the ocean to get here?

Oh, come on. Jesus, man. All right. Oh, you're done. Sorry. Ha! Faster than a speeding bullet and stronger than the strongest bull. It's the power of dragon drink, baby.

So, folks, hold on tight and grab your dragon drink. We're about to take this podcast to explosive heights. Buckle up, listeners, and let's ride this roller coaster of blessings and belly laughs powered by the mighty dragon drink. Disclaimer. Oh, fuck. Could you play the video? Yeah.

Where is it again? You have it in your downloads. All right. Or your airdrops, whatever. All right. Hold on. Let me find it. Here we go.

Thank you. The shortest ad of all time. Why'd they send us an eight second ad? Yes, I'm interested in Dragon Energy. This is what converts. Sick. Disclaimer, Dragon Drink is an energy drink designed to provide a boost of energy and amusement.

Please consume responsibly and remember to handle with care. It's explosive in the best way possible. Okay. This is real? They told you to say that? That was them. It's explosive in the best way possible.

I don't think they understand. Dragon Drink does not guarantee wrestling matches with Grizzlies. I think they understand too much. Shut up. Don't say that. Dragon Drink does not guarantee wrestling matches with Grizzlies, but it sure can make life more adventurous. Thank you.

Man, we're like Cat Stevens doing ads now. Yeah. We might as well convert. Incredible. Well, yeah, Dragon Drink. Check them out. Thank you. Check out Dragon Drink, guys.

Hey, guess what they shouldn't check out? Don't do it. Maybe the sponsor that dropped you? They didn't drop me. It goes on a weekly... Sometimes they don't send me an ad. They've had a lot of time. We've been off. That sucks dude.

We did it last week. What did they pay? Nothing. I get nothing from these companies. Are you kidding? It's so low. You guys told me $600 I'm like I'll have to. For three though. Yeah I don't know. I haven't gotten nearly that. Was it like a rev share? You get like a commission on...

I've made $170 from the ads from like a month ago. I thought... It's nothing. I don't know what's going on. Wasn't? They're using it. What was the first ad? Everybody uses it.

Sheath was good. Sheath used me up. Didn't they pay... I think some of our fans bought Sheath, and they still haven't even told me if we've sold them or how many we've sold. I don't want to say anything bad about your sponsors. Yeah, please.

I don't say anything bad about yours. I'm not. You used to. And you didn't talk. What are you talking about? Horribly racist remarks about her. Like, they write on goats. I know.

The whole ad is like 9-11 buzzwords. Yeah, but they can say it. No. You know. Yeah, they can. It's like, you know, black guys can make jokes about being black and stuff. They can make jokes about being terrorists. That's not the same thing, you fucking racist piece of shit.

I don't know what that meant either. What the hell did that mean? I disagree with both of you right now. Jesus Christ. This mic's all fucked up. Yeah, good. It doesn't want to let you speak anymore. All right, folks.

We'll get back in the swing of doing some corners and stuff, because this pod is not the same without the songs and the corners. I'll tell you that much. Can we do a song with no corner? Do you have any songs? About John being gay or something? Sure. All right, hold on.

Let me try. What song would you pick? I've been thinking maybe Velvet Underground or something. Why do you always pick the hardest sounding songs to sing to? Because I like to challenge myself, retard. That was a line from Whiplash.

Who loves gay cum? We know John does. This is actually the song. Hold on. That sucks. Man, that was going to be good, dude. Who loves the sun karaoke, maybe? Did you say who loves gay cum?

That was really good. That was good. That was very good. Here we go straight again. Also, if Greg and Drink stop listening right now, if you're listening. All right, the audio sucks. I'm not using that either. I don't fuck around with the people here.

He's an artist. He's like, I can't hear the fucking bass. No. Man. More bass with my headphones. They don't have an instrumental for Who Loves the Sun? It's kind of a second-rate Velvet Underground song. It's a good Velvet Underground song.

You just don't like what I'm about to do to you right now. I never fucking... Dude, I love what you do, bro. Dude, I'm about to dominate you right now. I'm about to buttfuck you, dude. You're not about to buttfuck anything, buddy. All right, we'll have to go with the shitty version. The first time a big man flowers is always a beautiful moment.

There always needs to be something to push it back in. I don't know. Who loves gay cum? Oh, we know John does. He likes to pretend

that it's strudel glaze. Yes, yes, yes. Very good. He loves the way it makes his face all sticky. He walks around town telling people it's sunscreen. Ba, ba, ba, ba. Who loves gay cum?

Ba, ba, ba, ba, who loves gay cum? John, John, John loves gay cum. John, John loves gay cum, cum, cum. And he loves it in his ass and his face and his ears and his nostrils and his butt. Yeah. Who loves gay cum? John walks around town trying to sell himself. It's in a bun.

He tells people that he'd like to cum in their ass. They bite into him, and then he goes, I'd like to bite into you. They go, why is my Cinnabon talking back? Ba-ba-ba, John loves gay cum.

That's very good. Very good. John loves gay cum. John loves gay cum. I'm going to repeat myself. Oh, yeah. John, John loves gay cum, cum, yeah. I'm breaking a moped. Then at four, I'm fixing the moped. Then at five,

I'm driving my car with my feet. Oh, yeah. John loves gay cum. Thank you all for listening, folks. Thank you so much. Joey Arlafleur on Instagram. John Bannert on Instagram. I love you both.

Dragon Drink. Dragon Drink Energy, baby. We love you. We love you all. Dragon Drink. Dragon Drink Energy, baby. We love you. We love you all. Good night. Dragon Drink's been getting weird with me, by the way.