Hate Watch with Devan Costa - I Reject Your Hypothesis

Episode Date: March 28, 2022

We watch video of the woman/medium who did stand up at an AMC movie theater, discover that all late night hosts write children's books and then go down the rabbit hole of Tarantino code-switching duri...ng the Django Unchained press tour Get weekly bonus episodes: https://www.patreon.com/HateWatchPodcast Follow Conner: https://twitter.com/conner_mcnutt Join the Reddit: https://www.reddit.com/r/hatewatchpod/ Available on all platforms. Listen on Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/hate-watch-with-devan-costa/id1459356319 Follow on Twitter: https://twitter.com/devancosta Follow on IG: https://www.instagram.com/devanjamescosta/

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Starting point is 00:00:00 I love how Joey does it. Put your headphones on, Joseph. Jesus Christ, this is a strict podcast. Kim Dillon comes on the podcast. Get into screen. He wore headphones. There you go, Joey. Even the king pig wore headphones.
Starting point is 00:00:16 Look at John. Looking like fucking full metal jacket. John's going to blow his brains out at the end of this podcast. He's doing the private podster. Give me five, retard. Yeah. John, he went out with a young lady.
Starting point is 00:00:35 His breath smelled horrible the other day. I went out with a lady on a date, and I had to drive her to Ontario. She was fine. We hung out, and we watched some old cartoons. Nothing happened. But her breath smelled so. Some old cartoons? What'd you show her?
Starting point is 00:00:51 They're actually really fucking cool. Have you watched like a Betty Boop cartoon? I bet you put on Song of the South or something like that. She was African American. But they, have you watched a fucking Betty Boop cartoon recently? They're fucking insane. What do they do? They're just wild.
Starting point is 00:01:08 They're just wild cool. They're really entertaining. The Vista, the movie theater down the street, they played an old Pepe Le Pew. It's insane. I know this joke's made, but it's really brutal. He's like trying to rape a woman. Did you ever look up the original lyrics for Big Rock Candy Mountain?
Starting point is 00:01:31 There's like a whole part of that song about molesting young boys. Really? Yeah, about being like, you know, Big Rock Candy Mountain's a song about like hobos paradise. Yeah. There's like cigarette trees and liquor fountains. And little boys. And there's a whole part where it's like little boys won't run from you when you fuck them. It's insane. But yeah, Betty Boop cartoons are pretty cool.
Starting point is 00:01:49 The girl. So wait, her fucking breath smells so goddamn bad. Betty Boop cartoons talk about this disgusting whore. She just had breath. I could smell it from the other side of my car. Did you guys kiss? I kissed her on the cheek, bro. Oh, man.
Starting point is 00:02:09 I was like, ah. Dude, the breath thing is really a deal breaker, man. It was bad. I was like, I remember the entire time I'm feeding her gum. It didn't help? No. It didn't work. I got, and you know, you're in the, I went, she gets in the car at the beginning of the day and i'm like it didn't help no it didn't work i got i got and you know you're
Starting point is 00:02:25 in the i went i she gets in the car at the beginning of the day and i'm like and i'm like oh man fuck she's this is bad and i'm like i need to take a piss i need to get some gas i go into an ampm and i immediately go to the gum aisle you know how you like i'm scanning for the most hardcore looking gum i could find like it's like the one that's like, you know, triple XL. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's like,
Starting point is 00:02:46 it's like silver alcohol. Yeah. I'm not, I'm not looking for the green or the blue gum. I'm looking for the silver. You're like, why don't you gargle? Why don't you gargle with this rubbing alcohol?
Starting point is 00:02:58 Exactly. I'm like, you kill her. Oh man. And she lived in Ontario and it was like a 40 minute drive. And the entire time i'm like rolling my window down a little bit and she's like it's cold dude i can smell it from the other side of my car and i'm like it's like it's funny i'm like driving with my head like this
Starting point is 00:03:16 you should just drop her off at the dentist it's funny that with bad breath like even when their mouth is closed you can still smell it kind of like it's every time it's like somebody shit their pants in their mouth it was it was horrible i was trying to like play music so that she wouldn't talk because every time she spoke it was just like i could smell it and i was like oh man you texted us in the group text you're like i'm on this chick's breath fucking stinks i'm on a date right now and um but uh yeah just never again you know i'm weird and you know it's like it's like that's so funny because i i i am really like like there are things that are like deal breakers for other people that are not for me like at all no you're
Starting point is 00:03:56 i've been very wide yeah you bang elderly women it's like but like it's this breath is one of the ones where i'm just like, no, that will end it. That's common. It's the worst. It is the worst. Sounds like she had a gut biome issue. It sounds like a biome. You know, my friends, when I was in Georgia.
Starting point is 00:04:14 Classic biome. And she's been working on it by eating the shit. Eating dog turds. I remember fucking when I was in Georgia, I'd talk about gut biomes and everybody there talked like I was some sort of like pussy fag or something. But it was just like it's true. You've got to have a really healthy gut. That's where everything starts is health.
Starting point is 00:04:32 You ever had bad breath? You ever had one of those like where there's like a ball of bad breath in the back of your throat? You ever cough up like a bad breath ball? Oh, a tonsil stone. Yeah. So that's what a lot of people have. I got tonsil issues right now, and I thought it was like tonsil stones. I tried to like get them out. You just got choked outil issues right now, and I thought it was my tonsil stones. I tried to get them out.
Starting point is 00:04:45 You just got choked out at jujitsu, and now you're panicking. You basically just signed up to get your ass kicked. I think what happened is I got choked too many times, and then it strained my tonsils, and that became an infection because of allergies. You're like a hypochondriac. I am a hypochondriac. Devin and I share that.
Starting point is 00:05:00 Has Joey been kicking your ass a lot? No. He's going to start, though. Joey's going to start kicking my ass. I got a mat. It's arriving on Monday. But every time, listen, John has been killing it at jiu-jitsu, but every time he goes, he comes back, and he goes like, dude,
Starting point is 00:05:11 my fucking rib is broken, bro. It's like fucking fractured. Like, dude, I asked somebody at the gym. They said it's a fracture. That's why my general practitioner is every 35 year old guy just sweating on me all day and then he gets choked out once and like you have a it does make your throat a little sore but he's sure fucking like infected look at my fucking no look at my tonsil he's like dude i fucking i think jujitsu gave me throat cancer there's like what dude what are you doing it's
Starting point is 00:05:40 like white stuff first of all my mouth is constantly like regenerating and doing all sorts of weird shit. My gums fall off every month. Do that. First of all, I won't recognize it, but if it's not like
Starting point is 00:05:51 really crazy looking, it'll look like a normal guy's mouth. Hold it up and look at this tonsil. If you look close, you can see a bunch of semen. It's just all cum.
Starting point is 00:06:02 Joey just reworded what I said but made it funnier. Now it looks normal. You know. It doesn't look normal. There's holes in my mouth. I have tonsillitis.
Starting point is 00:06:11 Richie, let me see yours. I should have. Richie, open your mouth. It's going to be full of rubles. No, Richie's tonsils look great. Richie's tonsils
Starting point is 00:06:20 look great. No, Richie's tonsils look great. Richie's got healthy tonsils. Look at my fucking tonsils. Precious gems. It's also full of cum. How about mine? What do mine look like? Check mine out.
Starting point is 00:06:30 Like blood vessels, but I don't know. Yeah, they're fucked up. Let's not look at them. This is the last one. Tongue down. No, down a little more. I can't see because you've got a big fucking dick-licking tongue. Let's all cum on it.
Starting point is 00:06:45 Oh, we've got tonsill fucking dick-licking tongue. All right, now let's all cum on it. No, Devin has what you have. Oh, we've got tonsillitis. Yeah, stick your tongue in. I have tonsillitis? Yeah, and you have prostate cancer, Devin. It's like fine. It's normal. I think it's just like...
Starting point is 00:06:53 No, no, I've got holes, and there's like one lesion you could see. I pressed the fucking ear cleaner up to it, and there was like blood on it when I pulled it out. Whatever, man. Anyways, but I'm fighting through the pain. I'm fucking fighting through the pain going to jiu-jitsu
Starting point is 00:07:08 getting torqued. Sick. I'm happy for you. Joey's gonna start torquing me. I got my first stripe on my belt, dude. Yeah?
Starting point is 00:07:14 Yeah, dude. What does that mean? It means I'm not a new guy anymore. What means I've been to like eight classes? How many stripes do you gotta get to be...
Starting point is 00:07:22 How many is it? Four stripes and you get a new belt? I think it's the three stripes and then a blue belt. But it just depends on the gym. Like at Cobrinhas, they won't give you a stripe unless you compete at a tournament. That's wild. Because the first stripe, I read online, the first stripe is always just like an acknowledgement
Starting point is 00:07:37 that like, yeah, you've been coming for like a month. At like a cuck gym, that's what they'll do. But at a serious gym with a master's, not to call your gym a cuck gym. It's a'll do but at a serious gym with a masters not a cuck gym it's a fine gym Herb Dean is the coach yeah but he's not he's a ref Herb Dean's the owner
Starting point is 00:07:52 John got the stripe for renewing your membership Herb Dean I mean does he even do like is he yeah he's good yeah
Starting point is 00:07:59 but I mean it's like the equivalent of like signing up for like a basketball class taught by a guy that works at Foot Locker yeah It's like the equivalent of signing up for a basketball class taught by a guy that works at Foot Locker. You're like, he looks like a ref.
Starting point is 00:08:15 I'm sure he knows a thing or two. He's really putting down John's new passion. I'm happy for John. I'm becoming such a fucking nerd. I can't stop talking about it. It's just fun. I've never been athletic or done an athletic thing. We'll circle back to it, John.
Starting point is 00:08:31 We have to talk about your tonsils after this. Fighting's always a thing. So did you guys hear the story today that a woman at the Burbank AMC in a movie, the projector broke, and a woman who is a stand-up comic and apparently a medium, she got up and just started doing stand-up for the crowd, and it went really badly. Oh, I love this.
Starting point is 00:08:53 And there's video of it. Oh, this is going to be great. Check this out. Oh, God. She's like, this is my moment. So, I am a single mom. You have a single mom. Turn it up a little bit. imagine you're just fucking you just think you're gonna see dog with channing yeah what was the movie stupid bitch stands up and starts doing her act.
Starting point is 00:09:26 What movie? I don't know the movie. She could have picked her crowd better. If it was dog, she's done. I believe in Buddha. Jesus was never married. He could have been jumping on the kids for a week and been like, yes, you're dead fish, bitch.
Starting point is 00:09:40 I want to help. I want to inspire. I've been going through depression. How long did this go on for? These are like jump cuts. This is giving me a traumatic feeling. I have anxiety. I would rather watch 9-11 footage. Put on Bud Dwyer.
Starting point is 00:09:58 It's the anniversary. It is? I think. Bud Dwyer's anniversary. I mean, let's be honest. Bud Dwyer, play it. Let's watch the Bud Dwyer's anniversary. Well, I mean, let's be honest. Bud Dwyer, play it. Let's watch the Bud Dwyer series. Hold on.
Starting point is 00:10:08 Let's be honest. Every day is Bud Dwyer's anniversary. And I joined the All Black Austin Choir. Oh, no. I mean, if this was Texas, somebody would shoot her in the face. I just want to see, like, a big, like, five-pound tomato. Somebody yells at her, and then she calls them racist, and it doesn't even make sense.
Starting point is 00:10:29 I think right here. I'm asking that song. White people are confused. Put us out of our misery. She said, lady, put us out of our misery. Do you want to come down here and try to entertain people? You're trying to dim my light. No one needs anyone to try and entertain them. They came for a movie.
Starting point is 00:10:47 They came for a fully fleshed out product. Not you and your insane ramblings, you dumb bitch. Where's James Holmes right now? Where's James Holmes when you need him? You know, there's a part of me that appreciates the innocence. No, she's completely insane you take it upon yourself this is the type of woman you fucking you she takes you back to your apartment and you open up some back door and it's just full of fucking like snakes
Starting point is 00:11:14 just a bunch of fucking aquariums full of like some sort of rare mice she has a real weird thing for them. She shoves them up her pussy. She's out of her mind. I can tell she's like out, completely out of her mind. Yeah. Anyone that does, you're already kind of out of your mind if you do stand up
Starting point is 00:11:33 and you're like an attractive woman. So let alone like you're just doing it at a theater. Already a screw loose and then at a theater, you know, possible massive like psychological. She's a medium.
Starting point is 00:11:44 Yeah, yeah. So she talks. Oh, and she's a medium. She thinks she like talks to the psychological. She's a medium. Yeah, yeah. So she talks. Oh, and she's a medium. She thinks she like talks to the dead. She's like out of her mind. Case closed. She's a lunatic. You're going to be jealous if they haven't been through as many things as you.
Starting point is 00:11:53 It gets crazier. There's an offer that I wrote. I actually did it the other night at the Laugh Factory and they loved it. Oh, God. Oh, she's nuts. Oh, fuck me. I'll turn it back down a little bit. Oh, my God.
Starting point is 00:12:11 She's crazy. Oh, fuck. Oh, my God. Thank you. Holy shit. That's the best video I've ever seen. Oh, my God. I got to rewatch this.
Starting point is 00:12:22 Oh, God. What'd she say? Oh, my God. What god, what's she saying? What is she doing? Yeah, she's doing what all attractive women that think they're funny do. They do gerbil face. They go like, what if I make my face kind of fat and I put my teeth down?
Starting point is 00:12:39 Oh my god, I have a double chin. Every hot girl thinks it's funny to go like Makes me sick. I'm like Tiffany King, TikTok. I'm also a psychic medium on the side. I'm also a psychic medium on the side. Look her up. What's her name?
Starting point is 00:13:01 Hold on, I think... You told me you found it earlier. Plug her OnlyFans and let's move on My girlfriend sent me her Instagram Let me look it up We gotta find those Buzzwords There's like an NBC News
Starting point is 00:13:18 Well whatever It would have been fun to dox her Tiffany King Look up Tiffany King but it would have been fun to dox her. Tiffany King. Look up Tiffany King. Ooh, la la la. Instagram. Go Tiffany King plus, in quotations, nude pics.
Starting point is 00:13:37 Here she is. Comedium. That's really, she's witty. Oh, wow. That's her story. Look at this. Oh, God. Oh, my God.
Starting point is 00:13:45 So she goes to the Laugh Factory, which is the, you know, wow. Look at this. Oh, God. Oh, my God. So she goes to the Laugh Factory, which is the, you know, like a den of hacks. Do not play that, man. We've had enough. Hold on. Let's see her with a crowd. All right. Oh, she plays piano and shit. Oh, she plays piano and shit. I'm happy about it. Is it over?
Starting point is 00:14:05 You think it's over, right? I don't know. My ex is doing an over podcast I did. Oh, my God. Wait till my album drops. I'm the P.H.L. I'm going to eat gravy nominations. All right.
Starting point is 00:14:19 You can't even understand her. Yeah, I can't tell. Look at that hat, though. She got her like Eddie Gray hat. Oh, is this what she looks like up close? Here we go. Personal video. I kind even understand her. I can't tell. Look at that hat, though. She's got her, like, Eddie Gray hat. Oh, is this what she looks like up close? Here we go. Personal video. I kind of forgive her.
Starting point is 00:14:28 Still International Women's History Month. She's dealing with continued harassment in the Talking Parents app last weekend and even today. I made this video last week regarding Z's asthma. So she's a mom. I want to see the TV. I know, I know. So I guess she's a mom. And she's getting
Starting point is 00:14:45 doxxed because she sucks or something. What a mystery. Why would somebody be saying mean things to her after this behavior? She's on the Talking Parents because she's trying to do stand-up on the fucking Nextdoor app probably. People are like, you know, hey, did anyone hear that we had a burglar
Starting point is 00:15:02 last night? And she's like, la la la la la, speaking, la, la. Speaking of burglars, dating's hard, especially when you're a burglar. Steal my heart, you know what I'm saying? Then someone's like, you know, my child was hurt badly. And she's like, sorry, you try to entertain people. Don't dim my light, lady. All right, let's see what she let's see her
Starting point is 00:15:26 when she's like like thoughtful I want to see her being a medium being like yeah I'm ready to do whatever she wants
Starting point is 00:15:33 I just wanted to check in she looks like the type of lady that like you go to her and you go like please like my you know can you talk to my
Starting point is 00:15:41 I want to talk to my my dead husband and she like gets in contact with him she gets in contact with him and then she's like, I want to talk to my dead husband. And she gets in contact with him. And then she's like, oh, it looks like he wants to have me suck his cock. And she has a full-on orgasm with the air right in front of you. And you're like, I thought you were going to speak to my dead husband. You said you just fucked his co-host. He's saying it's an extra 300 for that.
Starting point is 00:16:08 He wants Greek. He says Greek is extra. Dinner at the Y is on the menu. Dinner at the Y. Fuck. I love hooker ads. Why? Fuck.
Starting point is 00:16:23 I love hooker ads. Right now, the newest thing is he's not acknowledging Zara's asthma. Oh, my God. Their kid's Zara. This woman will be dating Alec Baldwin in a year. When his girlfriend sent her to school last week after she'd had a fever and a cough all weekend, and when I picked her up from school, she had a cough. They didn't tell me. They me they didn't text me they didn't call me they didn't send me any type of message um pick up my kid and she's like mommy i had a fever on saturday she's like mommy when her dad was at work and his girlfriend was watching her you should be institutionalized
Starting point is 00:16:58 mommy yeah mommy seems fucking nuts did they give you a code 19 test no mommy so here's mom scrambling like oh my god She's like, fever? I have comedy fever. Let me tell you. Had to find a way to get her doctor's appointment, which is hard right now because if you have symptoms of COVID, they don't want to see you. When was this made? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:17:15 This was made probably hours after her big set at the Burbank AMC. She was like, mommy. That was, how do you see the time? A day ago. That was a day ago you see the time? A day ago. That was a day ago. You know she set that up to make herself look as good. Oh, look at the nude picture. So you realize.
Starting point is 00:17:30 Oh, my God. Yeah, that's a medium, all right. Oh, yeah. She's the type. She does. Zoom in. Can you zoom? She did an at home.
Starting point is 00:17:37 Can we zoom? I can't. She did jokes throughout her entire, while giving birth. She was just doing jokes. The legs could use work. For how annoying she is, the legs should be a lot better. There's her kid.
Starting point is 00:17:56 I don't want to do it. Get the kid out of here. Mama got a last minute call to be part of the real Tommy Cat's pre-Super Bowl kickoff show. So fun and cool to perform with someone you grew watching him. What? Why is he wearing a raised bandage?
Starting point is 00:18:11 Oh, so she did stand up before the Super Bowl, like a pre... Oh my God. Who was the black guy from that Jamie Foxx movie where he's a rapper? Jamie Foxx was a rapper in a movie? No, no, no. Jamie Kennedy. Sorry. Oh, Malibu's most wanted malik was the black guy that was his friend uh i don't remember there's an indian guy and uh not worth the uh you can't look at the instagram john it's too what is it you feel too he sees the kids and now he's like
Starting point is 00:18:38 weird he's really latching on to that well all right If I can get over it. Well, we want to look at mommy's milkers. Sorry. Go to that one. Oh, there we go. Oh, there we go. Ooh, look at her there. Oh, she's in space. She's in space.
Starting point is 00:18:56 Oh, look at how, dude. Oh my God. What a weird photo. Oh man. I'm going to pay her 50 bucks for a JOI where it's a role play where I'm a heckler and she's doing comedy. And then she catches me in a thing and humiliates me and forces me to eat my own cum. Have you been watching cum eating instructions?
Starting point is 00:19:15 No, but I've seen cum eating instructions. I always skip over those ones. Once I found out what that meant, I was like, damn, dude. Some girl recently told me, like I said, some schools, you know, you're like really good at um cbt she meant like cogden of behavioral all right well enough of uh this lun. But I feel bad for the kid. That kid doesn't have a fucking chance in hell. That kid's going to die in the Ukraine. That kid needs to fucking escape.
Starting point is 00:19:54 You know? Yeah. That kid needs to leave home like Huck Finn. She fakes that she died of fucking COVID. Oh, man. Did you guys know that Rishi told me this the other day She fakes that she died of fucking COVID Oh man Did you guys know that Rishi told me this the other day That All the late night hosts
Starting point is 00:20:13 They've all written children's books Every one Every single one of them has written a children's book They're all hopped up in adrenochrome And they want to get close. What's a good new one is coming out. Jimmy Kimmel. I don't know.
Starting point is 00:20:34 I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.
Starting point is 00:20:34 I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.
Starting point is 00:20:35 I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.
Starting point is 00:20:36 I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.
Starting point is 00:20:36 I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.
Starting point is 00:20:37 I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.
Starting point is 00:20:37 I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.
Starting point is 00:20:38 I don't know. I don't know. I That's Jim Brown or whatever. The LA news guy. It looks like he's a week away from retirement. He's been the LA news guy forever. He's about to kick me off the floor. Give me your badge and gun is what he's about to say. God damn it, Joey. He has written and illustrated a children's book called The Serious Goose. I'm getting too old for this shit. Jimmy Kimmel and the Serious Goose.
Starting point is 00:21:07 Well, when I was doing The Man Show, and I was... You know, I was... Jimmy Kimmel's new book, Give Me Your Spinal Cord. What's it called? When I was motorboating women on The Man Show, in the back of my mind,
Starting point is 00:21:21 I knew one day I wanted to write The Serious Goose. Making it rain on juggies inspired me to write a story for kids planes i've read your book jimmy thank you thank you you committed four minutes to it jimmy kima was the brainchild of the serious goose. Everyone writes children's books because, like, a retard could write them. Like, they're literally written for kids who are morons. Every book I liked as a kid, you ever look back on them? It's like, the duck had a house. The duck went outside.
Starting point is 00:21:59 The duck came back inside. And then there's some foggy moral lesson. The duck makes a friend at the end of the thing. Oh, done. Yeah, that's it. It's for, I have no respect for any children's book writers. No one should. Like what?
Starting point is 00:22:12 Like when I was reading books as a kid, like I was distinguishing like the quality between them. Anything would have gone. It's like my mom could have written one in the other room in 10 minutes and brought it out and been like, look, this is the greatest short story ever for kids it's a bullshit it's absolute bullshit it's an original story he was a serious goose on a trampoline it's a goose because my daughter jane who's five years old now when she was in a bad mood i'd say are you a silly goose or a serious goose and she'd say i'm a
Starting point is 00:22:43 serious goose and so her nickname became goose and that's why i chose the goose and i bet you touching i bet you there's like a million households where the dad goes are you a silly goose i bet you everyone's saying silly goose or serious goose to their kids but mine's special and i have resources to print a book yeah that anyone can do their kids yeah if my dad wrote a book about my nickname, it'd be called The Little Faggot. The fatty that doesn't read. The fat faggot that is an embarrassment
Starting point is 00:23:15 to my intellectual brain. My fat faggot son won't play chess. My fat faggot college dropout son. It's called The Fat Que learns to take out the trash. My dad's on the news explaining it. He's like, well, I came up with the name when I realized I had been calling my son a fat worthless faggot for 13 years. The trash was piling up and it just sort of clicked. I would ask my son, are you a fat faggot or a dumb faggot?
Starting point is 00:23:48 One day there was a fat faggot. And the fat faggot walked down the street. Me and the fat faggot watching Apocalypse Now. The goal of the book is to make the serious goose silly. Jimmy also decided he'd illustrate the book himself and do all the lettering by hand. When he was a kid, he wanted to be an artist. He didn't draw any of this. It's not like it's hard.
Starting point is 00:24:15 I'm at the kitchen table with a million pieces of paper and a million different pens and ink all over my hands. I'm my wife going like, hey, when are you going to be done with this already? And I'd say, take the kids out of the house. I need time. I don't believe you. Jesus Christ. Isn't it insane Jimmy Kimmel used to be like subversive kind of?
Starting point is 00:24:35 Yeah. He got old and weak just like every man. Every single person this happens to. What is going on? Can anyone just be themselves for their whole life life beats that out of you and will it happen to us yeah oh yeah oh yeah it's happening to me as we speak you think we're gonna become complete losers you hold on the difference is you hold on to as much of it as you can like kimmel just fucking dropped it all like it'll happen but we'll still not be as
Starting point is 00:25:06 big of a cuck as Kimmel you know never the beaten down versions of us what would that even look like I have no it would look like me fucking five years ago yeah maybe we already went through it maybe none of these people suffered I go to John I'm like dude I shot a fat rope yesterday he's like
Starting point is 00:25:21 that is vulgar why do you still why do you speak like that to me? It's when ladies get involved. My wife is here. It's just age. That's why you got to keep them in place. I go to Joey. I say, Joey, let's grab a beer after work.
Starting point is 00:25:36 He goes, it's Wednesday, Richard. He calls you Richard. It's 8 o'clock. I have work tomorrow. We get off work. We're like, Joey, you want to grab some beers? And Joey's like, I'm a working man. My mature thing is I go, all right, but only like 20 beers tonight instead of 30.
Starting point is 00:25:55 Okay, Richard. All right. Well, let's see what more he has to say about the serious goose. I'm like a practicing Jew at this point. I wear a yarmulke. I'm like, it's Friday. I can't go out. We have shitting tomorrow.
Starting point is 00:26:11 It's the Sabbath. It's the Sabbath. It's the day of rest, Joey. I can't drink. They love what they do, and they need to be funded. His kid was, like, sick and almost died a baby. Oh, really? Yeah, that's sad.
Starting point is 00:26:27 So that's a good excuse, actually, to make one of these. Yeah, but they all have written. It's like, if it was just him, I never would have noticed this. My dad wished I was sick. I wish I was, too, so I didn't get called the little faggot for 13 years. Would you get some cancer in those bitch tits, for Christ's sake, you fat faggot for 13 years would you get would you get some cancer in those bitch tits for christ's sake you fat faggot i remember one time i came home when i was fat and my dad so badly wanted me to not be fat and he he kept bringing up boxing and i was like right boxing yeah i'll do that and one day i came home and he had like boxing gloves and he bought like a whole set he's like come on
Starting point is 00:27:03 he's like dude come on let's do like, come on, let's do it. He like kept trying to get me off the couch to like box. It was the most humiliating. I was just like, I want to kill myself. You're a bum, Devin. He's like the Rocky. Yeah, he's like, come on, Costa. Yeah, he's like Joe Pesci in Raging Boys.
Starting point is 00:27:19 Like, look at you, you're fat fucking tansy. You're fucking sitting there looking like a fat fucking idiot. Come on. One, two, Costa. One, two. One, two. He calls me. What was the boxer's name that I love?
Starting point is 00:27:31 Charlo. He's like, get him, Charlo. Hit him. He's like, dig into that sciatic nerve, Costa. To show that to your kids, to let them see you doing these things, and to have them be a part of it too. I bought a book and when he autographed it for me. Enough of you.
Starting point is 00:27:49 Let's go to Trevor Noah's. He did one too. And it's all about, it's all about a man who could never be funny. The boy who couldn't make anyone laugh. who couldn't make anyone laugh. He's like a little boy who, while suffering through apartheid, learned to not make anyone laugh.
Starting point is 00:28:15 He tried tickling. He tried laughs. He tried pranks. He tried tickling. He tried tickling. He tried everything. He tried tickling he tried everything he tried leather he tried a feather he would even play funny movies but people would frown if he was near he would try out jokes on his friend heather and she said please stop you're not funny please kill yourself here we go the apartheid era, or as Trevor says, apartheid, apartheid hate.
Starting point is 00:28:46 Good one, Trevor. Today, his story is really resonating with high school. Debbie, could you rewind to that when she just said his joke? Yeah, of course. Apartheid hate. Of course. Thanks. When those relationships were illegal in South Africa today, his story is really resonating.
Starting point is 00:29:03 During the apartheid era, or as Trevor says, apartheid, apart hate, when those relationships were really resonating. This one's for Bud Dwyer. Stories from a South African childhood was chosen for Newark's first citywide school listening club.
Starting point is 00:29:24 This is big. It's part of Audible's Project Listen Up. The program provides free Audible classes. Listen Up? Why did she tell everyone to listen up? I think that's the name of the project. Oh, Project Listen Up. Okay. I thought she was like, she just has some weird thing for Trevor.
Starting point is 00:29:37 She's like, everyone listen up. I know you're bored to tears. Listen up. All Newark high school students and their teachers. So we asked a few students the other day how Noah's story inspired them. He talked about people from the ghetto like to get out the ghetto, but instead he wanted to. That's a child. And I feel like that just spoke.
Starting point is 00:29:56 That's not a kid. He's got a full beard. That's fucking David Banner. This kid's supposed to be fucking 14. That's crazy. What are you kidding me what the fuck he's got like diamond earrings and shit he's really in school teenager he's got a full beard he's a man he's a goddamn god we sound like the worst cops yeah this is right here
Starting point is 00:30:17 live brought to me no matter what challenges or trials. Wait, she's a kid too? And her? Literally being born a crime and he's this successful person here who didn't let his hardships affect who he became in the future. Yeah, there's no examples of that out there. Trevor Noah joins us at the table. He's like Nelson Mandela. Why does he talk like that?
Starting point is 00:30:40 He's from South Africa. That's like the only thing about him that makes sense. I really want to get your take on what's happened today because you've been talking about it all week. Right, right. And for the past week, what do you make of what's happened? Well, I'm excited. I mean, you know, I think this development in North Korea is really huge for the world.
Starting point is 00:30:57 I think people have to take this opportunity to not hate on Donald Trump and go, hey, he took a step. He took a step forward towards peace. And if anything, he furthered Obama's goal. That's what Obama said he would do. He said he would talk to Americans. At least he's honest more than somebody. That's odd. I did not expect him to say that. There was a recent video where Trevor...
Starting point is 00:31:15 He's also kind of saying stuff that is shocking people. I just wish it was funny. Hey, I get it, Trevor. You're all right, but can you at least be funny about it? And he was criticized for it. Yeah, and he was. And I think it, Trevor. You're all right, but can you at least be funny about it? Enemies, not just America's friends. And he was criticized for it. Yeah, and he was. And I think it's really great that Donald Trump said,
Starting point is 00:31:30 hey, man, that's a good idea. I'm going to go out there and I'm going to do that. I'm going to speak to our enemies. And he may have surprised South Korea by stopping, you know, the military exercises on the border, but, you know, clearly this is... Trevor Noah's going to become one of those guys that in, like, five to ten years we're going to be like, oh, I actually like that he's around. I like he might he's not funny to me but he might grow on people because he's consistent he'll mature into a person that
Starting point is 00:31:54 at least has been around yeah and he has other world perspective where he like looks at american bullshit problems probably and he can't help but roll his eyes you know sometimes but he should just be like he should just have like a Tavis Smiley type show on like PBS like he shouldn't have a show where he's supposed to like take over for Jon Stewart and be fun like the fact that the Daily Show still exists it's like a fucking it's like if Blockbuster was still trying to like
Starting point is 00:32:20 rent out like a you know copy of Miss Congeniality like it's weird that the Daily Show is even still a thing I don't even think they have a crowd rent out a copy of Miss Congeniality. It's weird that the Daily Show is even still a thing. I don't even think they have a crowd. I think they're still pretending to be all worried about COVID. He does it alone in his apartment.
Starting point is 00:32:36 I literally have never seen the show. I've just seen clips. I've just seen clips. I don't even know if it airs. I think they just put clips out. I don't even know what's going on. I guess if Obama put clips out. I don't even know what's going on. I guess if Obama is going to do it, then there's some thinking behind this. So it's an exciting time. We'll see where it takes the world.
Starting point is 00:32:51 The conversation is just beginning. Positive guy. Let's talk about your book, though. I love it. I support him. He was here last time to talk about the book. I'm going to buy 100 and give them out in Koreatown. You paint such a vivid picture that I really feel like you're taking me there.
Starting point is 00:33:05 But you start with this. To my mother, my first fan, thank you for making me a man. That gave me goosebumps when I heard that. It's such a love letter to your mom. It genuinely is. And here's the thing. I realize every day that I'm a product of a person
Starting point is 00:33:18 who was greater than myself who brought me here. And one of the biggest gifts my mother gave me was an opportunity to... I'm actually... Are like starting to fall in love with Trevor Noah here I mean we started out with hate in our hearts and to be honest My god, I want to buy his fucking children's book My mom was really the hero of my story. I always thought it was me. He's like, my mom was a real MVP. He looks like he smells good.
Starting point is 00:33:51 He does. He looks like he smells like fucking shea butter and all that Chanel. I want him to fuck my wife. Well, you know what I loved about this collaboration with Audible was we had met so many kids who said to me, hey, I love stories, but I'm not a great reader. Or there was one kid who came up to me. I've heard enough, though. I get it.
Starting point is 00:34:12 Boring! Hey, big headline. Everybody loves him. Yeah, we get it. Next. We all love him. Enough of you. Dude, John Oliver's.
Starting point is 00:34:20 John Oliver did one? Yeah, John Oliver, some of them, Marlon Brando. Wait, he stuck a piece of butter up someone's ass? What? Marlon Brando. Oh, yeah, yeah. Well, how did that come up? Marlon Brando children's book.
Starting point is 00:34:32 He raped someone. No, I know, but why did you bring it up? Because it turns out, in a complete coincidence, Oh, shit, okay, I didn't see that. We also wrote a book about Mike Pence's rabbit that has also been published. In fact, when he's out tomorrow, ours is released
Starting point is 00:34:48 right now. Wait, did you think Pence was Brando? No, it's the name of the book. Marlon Bundo. It's called A Day in the Life of Marlon Bundo. I can't see the shit as well. Okay, got it. Sorry, sorry, sorry.
Starting point is 00:35:01 A few small differences between the two books. You'll notice right away that our rabbit has a bow tie, so there's that. Also, our story is about Marlon Bundo falling in love with another boy rabbit because our Marlon Bundo is gay, just like the real Marlon Bundo.
Starting point is 00:35:22 Who's Marlon? Are they making fun of Mike Pence's nickname as Marlon Bundo? What is this? They just, that's the name of their rabbit in their story, I guess. Good mother of God. They're saying Marlon Brando was gay? What are they saying? So Mike Pence wrote like a book, like a kid's book.
Starting point is 00:35:37 And so they're doing a bit of a goof like, and we wrote our own book called Marlon Bundo. And everyone's like, woo! He is just the joke. So this isn't him sincerely writing this book. wrote our own book called Marlon Bundo and everyone's like, whoo! He is just the joke. So this isn't him sincerely writing the book. And in his book, but it's a real book. Yeah. Wait, Richie, can you what was the joke? Can you explain it one more time real quick? Yeah, I don't get it. Just do it real quick one more time. So Mike Pence
Starting point is 00:35:57 wrote a book and then he wrote a book called Marlon Bundo. No. Love that bit. John Oliver's joke writing. It's like, you know, fucking the tortoise and the hare. My hair grows like a tortoise.
Starting point is 00:36:20 The tortoise and the hare. Mine real. Donald Trump's not real. Donald Trump's, not real. Not real. Needs hair. God, so predictable. Find this book starting right now at Amazon and at betterbundobook.com,
Starting point is 00:36:34 which should be easy enough to remember. Do you want the regular Bundle book or the better Bundle book? It's at betterbundobook.com. All of our proceeds from this are going to the Trevor Project, which provides... He's goofy. Come on. He's doing a goof.
Starting point is 00:36:50 Yeah. You know? Mike Pence is doing something he doesn't like. He does his own version. Why are they acting like Mike Pence is killing gay people or something? Why is this... Didn't he believe in shock therapy? Yeah, conversion therapy.
Starting point is 00:37:07 But he was doing his own thing. He wasn't like rounding gays up, right? I mean, that's a pretty horrible thing. That was a horrible thing to be pro. Oh, pro conversion therapy. The guy's a savage. I thought you said pro converse therapy. The shoes.
Starting point is 00:37:23 Remember when literally everywhere like everywhere there was that, like everyone would be like, Oh, it's because I think he might be gay. And like, literally that was like, everyone's like sassy. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:37:35 That was everyone's take on pants. So, all right. Enough of this is boring too. You stink. Wait, play one more second of it real quick. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:37:44 Hence, we'll probably really piss him off, so that's three great reasons right there. You can also buy an audiobook at audible.com featuring Jim Parsons, Jesse Tyler Ferguson, Jeff Garman. I love that he's doing this bit, and he's like, but like, actually, I will be making money off of this,
Starting point is 00:38:02 like a lot, a lot of money. This is an actual book for children. This is a real children's book. This isn't some adult book telling Mike Pence to go fuck himself. Although, in buying it, that's exactly what you would be doing. And the margins on these children books are 90%. Boy, oh boy. All right.
Starting point is 00:38:22 What's next here? Is Alex Jones ever fucking children's book? Oh, yeah. You'll be telling Mike Pence to go fuck himself and buying me a yacht. Alex Jones' children's book is called Sandy Hook Wasn't Real. The children of Sandy Hook. It's called Crisis Actors. Crisis Actors.
Starting point is 00:38:41 He goes, you are a crisis actor. I'm looking at you, kid, who's reading this. You're a crisis actor. The cutest crisis actors. He goes, you are a crisis actor. I'm looking at you, kid, who's reading this. You're a crisis actor. The cutest crisis actor. The main character's a gay frog. The frog who couldn't stop swimming in the water. The frog who couldn't stop
Starting point is 00:39:00 sucking off other frogs because of a chemical. Because of fluoride. Did you see this? super male vitality there was this uh apparently a guy that's in prison with r kelly oh shit he got r kelly to sing a song to his daughter but you know that that just means like the guy was gonna like rape r kelly and that was that was was his demand. Was you sing to my daughter? He goes, R. Kelly, you just stole a Snickers bar from me. I'll let you go if you sing this song. He's like, I believe I can fly.
Starting point is 00:39:34 He's all beaten and tarnished. He's walking around. He's a little bit bitchy. He's walking around with a sore ass. He has a pipe in his ass. He's sobbing. bitchy. Yeah, he's walking around with a sore ass, like he has a pipe in his ass, and he's just sobbing. He's like, I believe I can ride.
Starting point is 00:39:51 He's just being tortured. How many inmates do you think have walked up to him and just been like, there ain't nothing wrong with a little bump and grind? Oh, yeah. They treat him like the colonel in Boogie Nights, probably. Oh, my God. Oh yeah They treat him like the colonel in Boogie Nights probably Oh my god I wanted to ask you something Can you sing a song for me?
Starting point is 00:40:12 Which one? Love Letter And you can tell he doesn't want to do it He's like Did you get my car? Big sigh He gives out a big sigh And the daughter's like
Starting point is 00:40:22 Come on sing it You know what my dad's gonna do He's like You know what my daddy gonna do Good night the sigh Her dad. And the daughter's like, come on, sing it. You know what my dad's going to do. He's like, you know what my daddy's going to do. Good night, the sigh. Her dad's Debo. He's like, oh, God. He's like, how do I kill myself?
Starting point is 00:40:32 Can you get my card? Your love letter. When you read my love letter. Yes, sir! Thank you. There's like a dude behind him with a pillowcase full of soap, and he's like, you're out of fucking tune. You're out of key.
Starting point is 00:40:55 You tone deaf bitch. You're out of key, bitch. There's a guy petting his squirrel. He's like, it wasn't good. Do you need some more toilet wine? What do you need some more toilet wine? What do you need to perform? Oh, God.
Starting point is 00:41:11 I mean, they must have him just be like entertaining them around the clock. Oh, God, yeah. They're putting scissors to his neck every fucking night. Do ignition. Now do ignition. Do ignition, bitch. Do the remix, bitch. They have one guy who's really good at doing beats. He's like, boop, boop. I don't know.
Starting point is 00:41:29 This is this black lady that got the Supreme Court nomination, right? And I don't know. I don't know what's going on with her. This is stupid. What did she do? This is just like every single right-wing news network is like, honestly, go watch. This is C-SPAN.
Starting point is 00:41:46 Katonji Brown asked to define the word woman. Well, yeah, C-SPAN aired what happened. What happened? So she's asked to define woman. You should listen to Tucker Carlson talk about it. It's pretty funny. Because Tucker Carlson sucks. Can I provide a definition?
Starting point is 00:42:01 Yeah. I can't. Already inspired and empowered. So she says she... Oh, and that's why because she's like pro like binary.
Starting point is 00:42:10 You know what? Yeah, she's not defining it because she knows it's going to be like she's going to get in trouble. Yeah. Right. Does this have to do with the
Starting point is 00:42:16 are they bringing this up because of the trans swimmer thing? No. When there's a Supreme Court justice you get to just like grill it. You don't have to ask them anything.
Starting point is 00:42:23 Yeah. You guys think like trans women, like... I think they're great. You think when they get in a car, they identify as a man just for the drive? Do they?
Starting point is 00:42:31 John, do they? Just to be safe. I don't know, man. Just to be safe. They're like, on this drive, I am not a woman. On this drive...
Starting point is 00:42:40 Be a little safer. They're doing real good. It's not funny, John. I don't find it funny. You don't find that funny? Why? Because it's transphobic? Transph me. They're doing real good. It's not funny, Devin. I don't find it funny. You don't find that funny? Why? Because it's transphobic? Transphobic.
Starting point is 00:42:49 No, it's not. It's actually gender fluid. Also, I just didn't laugh. It's actually gender fluid. It's pro-gender fluidity. And you just start. Okay. That argument could be made.
Starting point is 00:43:00 It's pro-gender fluidity. It's a funny take on gender fluidity. Gender fluidity. You guys are heroes. I thought, are you guys against that? I can't believe Devin pulled that out of his ass. funny take on gender fluidity. Are you guys against that? I can't believe Devin pulled that out of his ass. You busted me. You did it, Dev.
Starting point is 00:43:16 So you're curious what gender they feel like when they're driving well. When trans people do things, if you're binary or if you're fluid with your gender, when you're doing things, do you identify as the gender that's usually better at that thing? As long as they're rubbing me down with a nice hot lotion. And milking us.
Starting point is 00:43:37 We love trans people here. We all bang them. I never have. Neither have I, but I'm pro-trans. I haven't either, but I just was going to lie about it. We're going down a weird road. Just to be woke. All right, let's see what else she said.
Starting point is 00:43:57 The word woman is so unclear and controversial that you can't give me a definition. that you can't give me a definition? Senator, in my work as a judge, what I do is I address disputes. If there's a dispute about a definition, people make arguments and I look at the law and I decide. So I'm not. The fact that you can't give me a straight answer about something as fundamental as what a woman is underscores the dangers of the kind of progressive education that we are hearing about. This is just nonsense. Just last week, an entire generation of young girls watched this hour. I'll tell you what a woman is. It's somebody who goes and takes care of their kids.
Starting point is 00:44:47 Yeah, yeah. It's anyone that provides. Maybe it's a mother. This woman looks like she dates the Tuggett guy. He's like, where's my Marsha? Where's my Marsha Blackburn?
Starting point is 00:45:09 She's a representative of Tennessee, I tell ya. And she tugs it good every night. And we talk about how much we hate the trans folks. Jesus Christ. God, look at the dichotomy between these two people. She looks like she has a glass of Chardonnay in her hand at all fucking times. Yeah, it's weird that now a woman that looks like
Starting point is 00:45:30 Christine Blasey Ford is grilling the new Supreme Court. Or what message that sends. If you're asking me about the legal issues related to it, those are topics that are being hotly
Starting point is 00:45:46 discussed, as you say. It's so much more embarrassing when Republicans try to own people. That was called public freak out. What was freaky about that shit? She asked a clickbait question that obviously every
Starting point is 00:46:02 right-wing news source is going off about and she's not answering it. Mostly because she knows what it is. She's like, I'm not going to answer this. She knows it's a dumb gotcha question. It's a ridiculous, idiotic question. Yeah. All right.
Starting point is 00:46:17 Jesus, that's fucked up. Look at this. Robin Williams' autopsy revealed he had 40% loss of dopamine neurons, and almost no neurons were free of I don't know what that means Lewy bodies Lewy body dementia is the type of thing That they diagnosed him with
Starting point is 00:46:31 So that must be some evidence that he actually had it I guess But also the dopamine means he was Like he had no happiness So he's just a really sad guy And that's why he killed himself Yeah they're like the autopsy reveals They're like the autop like, the autopsy reveals... He reveals that he's sad.
Starting point is 00:46:45 They're like, the autopsy... Robin Williams' autopsy reveals... Thanks, detective. How did you figure that out? Robin Williams' autopsy revealed he was suicidal at the time of death. Oh, fuck. It lines up with all the razor cuts on his wrist and the noose. The noose around his neck, you know.
Starting point is 00:47:05 We all knew it was suicide. We didn't know he was sad. It's insane how sad he was. I can't. Usually when we find suicide victims, it's because they were so happy they killed themselves. That's fucking wild. People reading that. They're fucking with a big grin on their face.
Starting point is 00:47:20 It's fucking insane because people are reading that like, whoa, he was fucking sad, dude. It's like, didn't the hanging get that point across to you? What? Yeah, he fucking hung himself. Didn't the fact that he hung himself. The puddle of urine underneath him. Science has determined he was not jerking off. He was actually depressed.
Starting point is 00:47:39 Because sometimes we'll find a guy that goes, he is like a boppet and a yo-yo, and he was just having a really good day. find a guy to kill him. He is like a boppet and a yo-yo and he was just having like a really good day. Keanu Reeves is supporting Tibet, so they're pulling his films from Chinese streaming platforms.
Starting point is 00:47:54 No John Wick for you then, huh? You know, my favorite thing about... Remember when Tarantino, they were going to they go hey if you want to play this movie
Starting point is 00:48:07 in China you have to get rid of the Bruce Lee scene and Tarantino just goes no fuck off
Starting point is 00:48:13 we'll skip China like billions of fucking dollars Tarantino's like the only guy that really
Starting point is 00:48:20 stands up to any criticism I reject your hypothesis that kicks ass play that and also it's like he's the he's one of the only people that can just say like i'm not doing it yeah yeah what other directors would they go like all right we can't do it couldn't you know i don't think even scorsese wouldn't probably have that power no no i don't think tarantino's really is he i mean how much of a loss would Tarantino's movie not playing in China be compared to
Starting point is 00:48:46 an Avengers film or something, though? You know what I mean? I would have to see. I mean, if we just did Django China box office, we could find out how... Type it in real quick. Just see Django Unchained China box office. Let's just see how much money it made in China. All right.
Starting point is 00:49:03 Hold on. is let's just see like how much money it made in toronto all right hold on i love how devon types in google every time after being abruptly pulled from chinese cinemas and spending a month in regulatory limbo the film has grossed just 2.5 million in the country since it was re-released they pulled it but i'm saying like i pissed off from that. I wonder if... He's like, fuck these people. What's...
Starting point is 00:49:28 Maybe like Inglourious Bastards, trying to box office. Guarantee you it was pulled. Why? They might just be like fucking... No Quentin out here. Chinese movies have violence in them. They don't want anything
Starting point is 00:49:41 that makes someone think, though. Like... They don't have any word on it being in China. This wrecks my point, but he still has integrity. Yeah. Let's just watch the clip. Here he goes. The legend, the man, the myth, the legend. Benton, you have put Margot Robbie, a very talented actress.
Starting point is 00:50:02 So surprise somebody that looks like this is asking an obnoxious question. He's filled with rage right now. With Leonardo in Wolf of Wall Street. That shirt kicks ass. Fat Martini with the bird bath right there. A person with a great deal of acting talent, and yet you haven't really given her many lines in the movie. And I wondered, I guess that was a deliberate choice on your part,
Starting point is 00:50:23 and I just wanted to know. Oh, do you guess? No, no, there was a whole, there was a bunch of scenes with her speaking, and he said, no, I guess that was a deliberate choice on your part. And I just wanted to know. Oh, do you guess? No, no. There was a whole, there was a bunch of scenes with her speaking. And he said, no, I hate women. Yeah. I'm cutting them. The studio made me hire this stupid whore.
Starting point is 00:50:35 I'm a school shooter. Yeah, no, it wasn't deliberate. What? Yeah, there was a whole movie made with a bunch of scenes of her and he was just like, we just did this to satisfy her. It hurts the movie, but I hate women.
Starting point is 00:50:50 I'm cutting them. Exactly, exactly. Why that was, that we don't hear her actually speaking very much. And Margo, I wanted you to also comment about being in the film
Starting point is 00:51:01 in this part. Well, I just reject your hypotheses. Hell yeah. Oh. You glorious bastards theater on fire. The internet kicks ass. Do they just move on after that?
Starting point is 00:51:22 Yeah, they just move on. He didn't answer anything. I reject your hypothesis. Well anything. I reject your hypothesis. Well, I just reject your hypothesis. Do the one where he's responding to violence on that TV. Right here. This is great. Oh, you have it.
Starting point is 00:51:33 When I met him, I brought this up. And what is this lady? Ah, fuck. This is an ad. I don't know what this is. Oh, it's an ad. It's a stupid ad. Looks like somebody we did comedy with.
Starting point is 00:51:42 Looks like she needs some adrenochrome. Jesus Christ. Oh, God. This Jesus is needs some adrenochrome. Jesus Christ. Oh, God. This Jesus is one. Look at this lady. Oh, God. Ugh. Anyway, audiences worldwide were first introduced to Quentin Tarantino, who was of our dogs.
Starting point is 00:51:58 Let me see if he's on the line, but it was Pulp Fiction that won him an Oscar and launched him into this A-list status he's in. Some people say he's all about style over substance. Some people say he's glamorized violence. Some people say he's a genius. His latest movie, Killed Bill, is a tale of a former assassin's quest for revenge. It stars Uma Thurman and Lucy Liu.
Starting point is 00:52:18 Now, Quentin joins us. There he is, baby. How are you, Quentin? I am here, Jane. How are you doing? All right, all right. I haven't seen you since Pulp Fiction. You know there's a bunch of candy bars in that hat.
Starting point is 00:52:33 Johnny Sack runs out and starts screaming at her. Do you know what you've done? Do you know what you've done? I look just as handsome? Yeah. Okay. I think they used that colored gel, though, that they used for Lucille Ball on Mame. Oh, really? Very good. You're lucky I can't see you right now.
Starting point is 00:52:52 Oh, I look dumb. She's like, fuck, good point. She's like, good point, Quentin. I am a fat pig. She looks like a penguin. Look at her. Dude, I was just about to say penguin. She does.
Starting point is 00:53:05 God, she looks like the clown in Spawn. Speaking of Mame, I'm going to do a little segue here. Mame into violence and Kill Bill. This movie's doing very well, by the way. I love it when people are furious at each other, but they're pretending to be really happy.
Starting point is 00:53:26 It's so sarcastic and horrible. The passive aggression in this is immense. Quentin lives in his own world right now, by the way. He doesn't even know where he is.
Starting point is 00:53:34 Look, he's so happy. It's like, this is classic. Did you ever see Norm MacDonald's impression of Quentin Tarantino? Yeah. Oh, God, yes. All right.
Starting point is 00:53:42 I got a huge head. Look at my head so fucking big, you know. I got to sleep sitting up. Like got a huge head. Look at my head so fucking big, you know. I got to sleep sitting up. Like an elephant. What were you misquoted? That children should see Kill Bill, advising kids to see it. Did you actually say that?
Starting point is 00:53:55 Oh, is that a misquote, Quentin? No, no, no. It's like, it's an R-rated movie. If their parents will take them to go see it, they'll have a blast. I actually think from 12 up, all right, you know, is a really good audience. He's so cool. He just got raised on movies. He's like, movies are great for kids. Quentin, would you say this movie teaches girls to be empowered by being violent and vicious, just like boys in the movie? Would you say that's the empowerment?
Starting point is 00:54:29 It empowers women, it empowers girls by the fact that Uma Thurman is a female warrior. She's a female avenger. Right. Revenge is like one of the classic staples in drama. I see, but a lot of innocent people. I've seen the film, Quentin. And to have girls not be the, not only the girlfriends in movies, but, you know, this is a movie about women. They're not about cute girls going, No, it's about killer women. All right, with their butts and their T-shirts
Starting point is 00:54:57 that stop below their, before their belly button, asking permission to kick ass. These girls just kick ass. They're warriors. They live by a code of honor, and they die by that code of honor, too. And innocent people die along the way. It's about that kind of thing.
Starting point is 00:55:12 Now, tell me this. You're innocent. It's about that kind of thing, anyways. Unfortunately, that's the story of revenge. Revenge is messy. It never works out the way you want it to. Why the need for so much gruesome graphic violence? Why not let us imagine a little bit?
Starting point is 00:55:25 Because it's so much fun, Jan. Think of revenge like that. Because it's so much fun, Jan. That's scary. Oh, really? Okay, I'd like to see you walk down the street and get attacked by some kids who've just seen your movie. Oh, but you saw, but see, Jan, you're all messed up
Starting point is 00:55:44 because you're talking about real life. Oh, I see. And kids at 12. And I'm talking about the movies. You've got to get it straight. Now, if you want to talk about the movies, we'll talk about the movies. Okay, and kids at 12 can tell the difference. We'll talk about real life.
Starting point is 00:55:54 Kids at 12 can tell the difference. You tell their parents that, Quentin. And it was great to talk to you, sweetheart. I saw movies when I was a kid, all right? I saw all the movies that I'm basing my movies on. Yes, and look how wonderful you two are. Are the movies I saw as a kid. And yeah, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:56:07 He's a fucking legend. Hundreds of millions of dollars. He's like one of the greatest filmmakers of all time. He's a legend and you're an obese cowboy. That does the Channel 4 news in fucking Long Island or whatever this is. Kids go to a movie theater. They can tell the difference. Maybe you couldn't when you were a kid, but I okay honey well get in the hook you're doing well obviously
Starting point is 00:56:30 the demeaning language okay honey yeah i bet you want some money maybe not you but you know what jan i don't think i made it for you i bet you didn't and I'm glad you didn't. I'm just sorry. Well, don't worry about that, baby. We'll move on. What do you say? He goes, don't worry about that, baby. Don't worry about that, baby. We'll move on.
Starting point is 00:56:53 You're doing great. What are you doing? That was very Mel Gibson. Like, look at those knockers, baby. It was borderline shirt. They're fakers, baby. Felt like shirt. That was the best.
Starting point is 00:57:03 Oh, God. Me. All right, Quentin. Well, look, it's your genre. He's doing the Kubrick stare right now. It's your genre, and you own it. And that's why he's Quentin Tarantino doing so well. She's just losing her mind. She hates that he's doing well.
Starting point is 00:57:19 Fucking studio apartment. Jesus Christ. They're telling her, like, our demo is against violence. You have to do that with Quentin. Did you guys ever see when Quentin Tarantino was doing the Django Unchained press tour and he started turning into a black guy?
Starting point is 00:57:34 It was awesome. It's like one of the funniest things I've ever seen. He couldn't help it. For like a couple weeks he was talking like a black dude. And black people were like Samuel Jackson. They didn't care. He's sitting right next to RZA and Samuel Jackson and Jamie Foxx. And they're all just like, hey, he's a genius. What do you want from me?
Starting point is 00:57:52 He's black, basically. Just talking black. Just type in Quinn Tarantino talking black. Maybe it's in this Blacktree interview. Maybelline. I mean, yeah, look at what he's wearing.
Starting point is 00:58:11 It definitely is. Yeah, he's wearing like a fucking... What is that hat he's got on? Was he wearing like FUBU or a lot of woo wear? He's wearing woo wear the whole time
Starting point is 00:58:17 because... And a... A hurtful hat. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Pelly, Pelly. I love that jacket. Yeah, Pelly. I love that jacket. Yeah, pretty good. I love that jacket, player.
Starting point is 00:58:30 What's going on? You got it going on. My brother from another mother. Look at that fucking beard. Inkley, Black Tree TV. We have speed. I'm here with Quinn Tarantino, a director who I've followed everything you've done since True Romance to now, so I've always loved you.
Starting point is 00:58:49 He chest-pounds. Much love, brother, much love. Much love. Much love. See, we got to get crack out of our community. Now, you went from the Holocaust to now slavery. Is there any other atrocities that you're going to tackle next? I don't know.
Starting point is 00:59:09 I mean, I don't have one necessarily in mind. Single mothers is my next thing. On my next thing, I'm going to tackle Reaganomics and how they put the black man unjustly in prison because of the 94 crime bill. unjustly in prison because of the 94 crime bill. He goes, listen, brother, I know you and I both know about the single-payer household and how they incentivize the single-parent household. My next
Starting point is 00:59:32 film is about that, young brother. Young brother? He becomes an old head. He's an OG. He's like, you gotta get on film. I'm trying to get motherfuckers to go with this. I'm slinging a new crack, you know what I'm saying? It's called positivity.
Starting point is 00:59:47 Knowledge is the new crack. You have some sort. I should just stop with two. There should be at least one more, one more bookend where I get to make the victims the victors and victimize the victimizers. He isn't talking that black here.
Starting point is 01:00:08 He did on Sway. When he's on Sway, he like turns into fucking West Side God. If you do the search with not on videos, but on like the web tab, it'll come up first result where he's very black. Really?
Starting point is 01:00:21 Yeah. Maybe he gets into it though. That's kind of, because it gets gradual. He gets more comfortable he's gotta ramp up and he ramps up and then by the end he's like freestyling
Starting point is 01:00:29 and shit he's in a cypher because you know how to beatbox you know how to beatbox go ahead he's like throw me a word
Starting point is 01:00:35 throw me a word he's like Django Unchained we making it rain Hollywood he turns into Harry Mack
Starting point is 01:00:44 yeah he turns Quentin Tarantino off the top I make it drop like I'm It rained. Hollywood. He turns into Harry Mack. Quentin Tarantino off the top. I make it drop like I make you hide those films off the press. Kind of pinching ourselves when we were shooting it. What trips me out about this movie is that people complain about the violence, as if slavery wasn't more violent. I think you PG'd the slave movement. But you do do a great job of showing violent movies. What about those characters
Starting point is 01:01:08 and those action sequences just attracts you to create them? Because that's all people, player. What the fuck do you mean what attracted me to that shit? There's two brands of violence in this film that's not always been the case.
Starting point is 01:01:21 He's not black enough. Go to the website. Hold on, let me go. Let me skip four minutes in. He picks it up. He's not black enough. Go to the website. Hold on, let me go let me skip four minutes in. Maybe he picks it up. I'm not antagonizing. But what gave you the courage to do so? I mean, I know it's like a lot of
Starting point is 01:01:36 critics are saying that, but it seems like courageous for you to be able to put that in there and say, as a filmmaker I'm gonna put truth to the script. Well, one, thank you very much. He did get a little put that in there and say as a filmmaker I'm gonna I'm gonna put truth to the script uh well one thank you very much I mean
Starting point is 01:01:46 he did get a little he did thank you very much like okay hold on hold on maybe by the end is uh
Starting point is 01:01:53 in each in each situation I've ever done it's just been to the truth of the character nah he's keeping it he's just keeping it real
Starting point is 01:02:00 do the web search thing from google I swear to god it'll come right up just on google yeah just go to google.com. Instead of doing a video search, just like the talking black. Sway, maybe.
Starting point is 01:02:10 Talking black. Videos. Is bad at talking to black people. Hell yeah. I think he's good at it. Oh, did you find a sketch of it? I don't know. Turn.
Starting point is 01:02:21 There we go. There we go. Hell yeah. Oh, this is going to be a disaster. That film has to be one of the most quoted movies in Hollywood with just the lines and everything. So you've got to give us. This is my question for you, Q.
Starting point is 01:02:39 What is the most quoted line? They called him Q. They really jazzed him up with that line. I think probably the most famous line? They called him Q. They really jazzed him up with that. From Pulp Fiction. I think probably the most famous line is... I think probably the most famous line is... Hold up, shorty. Wait a little bit, little mama. Come here.
Starting point is 01:02:57 He goes, hey, bitch, come sit on Quentin Tarantino's lap. Now, what'd you say, motherfucker? Now, what'd you say, motherfucker? Now what you say, motherfucker? Now what you say, motherfucker? He's like, yeah, keep scratching my chest. Q like it when you scratch my chest. Big Ream says it.
Starting point is 01:03:24 Pleasing your fans or pleasing the critics for you? Oh, interesting question actually uh actually uh well if you will i wanna i wanna please my fans and i wanna please the critics that are my fans he's like one of my favorite people he's the best dude i. I want to please the fans, but I also want to please the critics at the fans. You know what I'm saying? I mean, it's crazy, Blaine. Oh, oh, Q always want to please the fans. Come on now. He can't catch himself.
Starting point is 01:03:54 He goes, you know, I'm QT, baby. I don't give a damn. Oh my God. Q don't give a damn. Oh, he's rhyming. He's like Al Sharpton. Look at Jamie Foxx. He wants to leave. He's like, oh boy. Look at Jamie Foxx. He wants to leave.
Starting point is 01:04:06 He's like, oh boy. You know that what he's really doing is... He's just repeating like, remember he's a genius. Yeah, remember he's a genius. He's a genius. Nelly's going to fucking kick my ass when I get back home. Nelly. Now, I'm not that computer savvy.
Starting point is 01:04:20 Computer savvy. I don't know if I would have ever heard. Computer. Oh my god, dude. All right,, we know you don't talk this way This is insane Why is he doing this? Look at Samuel Jackson, he's just like Oh fuck
Starting point is 01:04:41 Oh no oh fuck you know what when you make jango unchained you can go on a little code switching tour out there whoever doesn't like this i love it he can do whatever he wants quinn tarantino can do whatever he wants. Quinn Tarantino can do whatever he wants. With my little taper going to play it. Bam, bam, bam. Oh, my God. Hamilton brought in a joint that was just fantastic.
Starting point is 01:05:13 And I took it home and I played it. This is the bomb. Oh, my God. This rocks, dude. This is the bomb. Oh, this is the best. He keeps going. It's always filled with songs, but it's always stuff that I chose from either my own collection or something like that.
Starting point is 01:05:25 I never had a music supervisor hook me up with stuff. Music supervisor. Oh my God. You ever saw this, John? No. Crazy. He does even more on Sway. The thing is, you gotta keep him... All the people to his left, he's been their boss
Starting point is 01:05:41 for a fucking year. He's just been killing it. They can't do shit. Hey, Q don't need a supervisor. I know. For like a fucking year. I know. And he's just been killing it. I know. And he's so, they can't do shit. Hey, hey, hey, hey, Q,
Starting point is 01:05:47 Q don't need a supervisor. I'm an improviser. You know what I'm saying? It's just too easy. It's just too easy. And then the two red nose reindeer, Charlie Brown. He's got a fucking like two rag on. He's got a fucking do-rag on.
Starting point is 01:06:06 He's got a skull cap. Oh, my God. On late night. He's got a scully on. This is amazing. Fred Astaire is the mailman. He's narrating it. This is probably why Woo-Win never took off.
Starting point is 01:06:19 Doing a finger gun is not a black thing. Yeah, that's not. Cracked. That was terrible. That was a funny video. That was awesome, that's not. Cracked. That was terrible. That was a funny video. That was awesome, though. The footage was amazing. Find the Sway one.
Starting point is 01:06:32 All right, I'm just not sure we could watch it. Let's just skip. We've had enough. Yeah, we get it. We get it. We're done. We could wrap this up. How long have we done?
Starting point is 01:06:40 We haven't been on that long, have we? We've been an hour and seven. Oh, really? Man, we've done pretty good. Anything on that long, have we? We did an hour and seven. Oh, really? Man, we're doing good. Anything else going on with you guys? Nothing much. We might do the podcast on the yacht on Saturday. If we do that, we won't be able to pull up clips.
Starting point is 01:06:54 But this was pretty good. John's really jealous that he can't come on the yacht. Right, yeah. You know what he said to me earlier? He goes, so John has to, like, he's got some weird plans. He can't make it to the yacht on Saturday. Johnny's yacht to do a podcast on the boat. And he goes, dude, is it too much to ask if you guys could just, like, not go on the boat?
Starting point is 01:07:17 And I was like, wait, what? He has FOMO. John has intense FOMO. I have a massive FOMO with this. But he was dead serious. He really asked, like, just don't do it. No, no, no. Okay, on my defense, Devin was like, we could probably put really ask, like, just don't do it. No, no, no. Okay, on my defense, Devin was like, we could probably put it off like a week.
Starting point is 01:07:29 And I was like, but, but, but, but, I'll tell you right now, I latched onto that shit immediately. I was like, oh, really? But the thing is, is like, I want to go on this boat for like three months. Because John's my baby boy, and I like to see him sad. It's John. John play too months. It's because John's my baby boy, and I don't like to see him sad. It's John. It's John. John play too much. His name's John.
Starting point is 01:07:50 Come on, John. I'm going to start calling Devon daddy. When you're a kid and you find out like, oh, we have to go visit grandma, but it's on Jeremy's birthday, so we're going to miss that. Imagine asking Jeremy, like, hey, could you just not do the birthday? Yeah, exactly. It's one of those things where I'm just like, you know, it just sucked.
Starting point is 01:08:07 It's, I'm, you know, I just don't want to miss. Well, regardless. We'll do it again. It's quite sweet of you, but great. You know. We'll do it again. Having fun at sea with the boys is just. Having fun at sea with the boys.
Starting point is 01:08:18 With the boys. No rules. No rules. You know how gay I'm going to get. No rules. You know, no one can fucking. You're going to get so gay as soon as we jump off the helm. I'm going to get naked and jump. You know, no one can fucking... We're going to be... John's going to get so gay as soon as John's going to get out. I'm going to get naked and jump off.
Starting point is 01:08:28 Nobody comes if you scream for help. You know what's going to make John jealous? We're going to be drinking cum tini's all night. It's going to be a cum tini evening? Yeah. That's right. It's going to be like a bukkake. Tons of cum tini's.
Starting point is 01:08:39 I would love to skinny dip off the side of the boat. And then you guys just leave me. We kill you like Natalie would. Hey, leave me out at sea. I find my swollen body in Oxnard. Only the hate watch pod is on a yacht and the only
Starting point is 01:08:55 naked person walking around is John. There's no women. Only our podcast. I'm completely nude except for a pair of scuba goggles. Well, not podcast, I guess.
Starting point is 01:09:08 Actually, every podcast would have just a naked number of their podcast walking around. I'd be like the drummer in Blink-182. John's are,
Starting point is 01:09:16 John's are like hot piece of ass on the show. Like, John's our thirst trap. He loves flaunting his body. He's the podcast. John's the hate watch pod's
Starting point is 01:09:23 thirst trap. I'm a sexy man that's on the shade of his body, dude. You are. There's a nude of John's the hate watch pod thirst trap. I'm a sexy man that's not ashamed of his body, dude. You are. There's a nude of John on the Reddit, by the way. It's everywhere. He posted it publicly everywhere. You're not on the Reddit. Somebody leaked it.
Starting point is 01:09:35 John posted it. He posted it and it was out of his mind. You posted it? He posted it himself. Isn't that crazy? Yeah. It was too much for Patreon only. Joey looks furious.
Starting point is 01:09:46 I'm just confused. I just can't believe it's taken him this long to figure it out that my name is Fartmatrix42069. I'm Fartmatrix. I feel like Joey's reaction is how most people reacted to hearing about Leah Thomas swimming in the tournament. They're just like, it doesn't
Starting point is 01:10:01 compete. You're not supposed to post your own. I don't follow rules. Did you get any hot chicks going like, oh, don't want to fuck? No, I just wanted the boys to see. The boys? Did you get any of the boys being like... One dude said I was built like a muffin. The Tuggers liked it.
Starting point is 01:10:17 I think the Tuggers enjoyed it. That's my new name for the fans. It was for the boys. It was the Tuggers. Everything John does is for the Tuggers the boys. It was the Tuggers. No, I'm goofing. Everything John does is for the Tuggers. It's all for the Tuggers. It's all designed for the Tuggers.
Starting point is 01:10:33 Can I ask a very controversial question? Do you think the Tugget guy bit might have an expiration date on it? I think we should be very careful with holstering. We holster the Tugget guy until something really good. I just think it naturally comes up. We haven't been forcing the Tugget guy. These people wanted to know what they should be called, and haters is really lame. Haters sounds like 2008.
Starting point is 01:10:57 And everyone keeps commenting Tugget to me, so go ahead and be a Tugger. I don't fucking know what you want. I think they should be called the truckers because they're supporting you. The thing is, because I get raped by the truckers. What needs to happen is
Starting point is 01:11:11 Devin and I need to go on another road trip. We need to spend a weekend in Palm Springs thinking about more audacious bits. Romeo was when we worked together on a weed farm. Tug of Guys when we were on the fucking road trip. We need to have a good three days. We'll come up with a new guy. Yeah, it'll be fine. But yeah, I don't know. What do you think
Starting point is 01:11:29 the fucking fans should be called? I like the truckers. The truckers? Yeah, because they're all fucking you. Because they all bang Devin. Because they support Devin. Lot lizards. Devin's a lot lizard, but lot lizard's just a funny...
Starting point is 01:11:43 I'm a lot lizard. Devin's the lot lizard. but lot lizard's just a funny... I'm a lot lizard. Devin's the lot lizard. Or a lizard of... And I like to shake it. For the trucker. Hello, the truckers. Well, a trucker would be a John. The Johns.
Starting point is 01:11:58 Yeah, the Johns. John's gonna love that too much. He's like, are you naming after me? You're like, really? Well, then you're gonna have to cancel cancel the odd pod because there's no fucking pod without me. They're the fucking chants. They're named after me. The whole fucking pod is me.
Starting point is 01:12:09 Honestly, I could do this whole fucking thing without you guys. To be honest. Never. Never. No. I just want to be on the boat. I came up with the tug of guy bid. If we're going to do the tug of guy bid, I want 80% of that.
Starting point is 01:12:20 Why do I ever bend that way? Are we supposed to? Don't let them think I'm that way. Don't you ever let them think I'm that way. Don't you ever let them think I'm that way. We're not supposed to really come up with the name for them,
Starting point is 01:12:28 are we? They're supposed to kind of call. No, they named themselves. They named themselves haters if they want to be haters. The Tuggers is fine.
Starting point is 01:12:32 No one's named themselves anything and no, we can't name them. What will happen is they'll eventually turn on us like the fighter and the kit fan. Yeah, it doesn't even
Starting point is 01:12:41 matter. They'll attack us and threaten to kill us all the time. It's a natural progression. There's nothing we can do to stop it but then but we embrace it and that's and that's why we do this how close are we to the thousand dollars on patreon i'm not that close not close at all still haven't we're getting we're gaining listeners but they don't feel the need to 640 we47? We're at like $650. It's like it just keeps fluctuating.
Starting point is 01:13:08 And it's kind of like, if you looked at a chart, it's exponential. It's going up, but... No, that's what I'm saying. We'll make some training vids and shit. We'll get you out there. If we start getting close where it looks like our thousands undeniable
Starting point is 01:13:20 within the next 8 to 12 weeks, I'll have to start training then to get ready for the match. What you got to do is you got to get a footage of you hitting a speed bag while a humiliatrix hits your bag like that. That's actually brilliant. I didn't know where you were going. So you're hitting the speed bag and your balls are getting punched at the same time.
Starting point is 01:13:41 And we should paint my balls red like the speed bag. What if we got that machine from Jackass? Yeah, where it just keeps doing the... I like that. Why don't we go train right now? I would love to. Let's get to a gym. All right.
Starting point is 01:13:57 Thanks, folks. Goodbye, everybody. Later.

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