Hate Watch with Devan Costa - Kutcher The Butcher (ft. Conner McNutt)
Episode Date: September 18, 2023Gary Busey hit and run, Joey won the TV battle with his apartment complex, Ashton Kutcher got away with murder, IG bimbo admits to a crime on a podcast, crazy daughter won't leave Dad's car and gets a...rrested https://www.patreon.com/HateWatchPodcast Get 50% off of Factor & support the show at https://www.factormeals.com/HATEWATCH50 & use code HATEWATCH50
Transcript
Discussion (0)
It's good to be in something from the ground floor.
I came too late for that.
I know.
But lately I'm getting the feeling
that I came in at the end.
The best is over.
Many Americans, I think, feel that way.
All right!
Scoot over, Johnny.
Not, you know...
Welcome.
What do you...
You know, what...
You shaved the head!
You told me the other day you wanted to grow your hair out.
What's that about?
Yeah, I lied.
I'm done.
You are a deceitful man.
I'm done, dude.
You're done with everything?
Yeah, I got your ass.
I got you, dude.
You're fucking stupid, bro.
Dude, what a prank.
Dude, there's like this Mexican guy comes in the bar every like three weeks,
and he's just like, dude, you look like shit, bro.
He's like, you're fat and bald.
Really?
It like really affects me. Does he look good, or does he look like shit, bro. He's like, you're fat and bald. Really? It really affects me.
Does he look good?
No, he's a scary man.
He's got a facial scar.
He's got a colostomy bag.
He's in a wheelchair.
He's a very scary guy.
I was like, fuck it.
I just got to do it.
It looks good.
Thank you.
You got to leave a little hair.
You're always like, yeah.
I like that you left a little.
That's what I said.
I shear it, and then in two weeks, it looks great.
I don't know.
I kind of like it all bald.
You look like Bronson.
Okay.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said.
The five o'clock shadow on the face that matches the head.
I think he looks like a testicle.
I look like an absolute fucking earthworm right now.
Yeah.
Looks like a thumb with a mustache.
And you do the mustache thing. Yeah. Yeah, I like it. It right now. It's like a thumb with a mustache. And you do the mustache thing.
Yeah, I like it.
It's good.
It's good.
It's silly, but it's good.
Everyone thinks I look racist, but you know.
Yeah, for sure.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You look like the accountant for Nazis or something.
The CPA.
Yeah.
So no more problems at the bar, right?
Everything's smooth.
You got the security.
You're not getting attacked
No one's trying to kill you
No
There hasn't
Honestly hasn't been
Anything crazy in like months
Cause you guys have
These big black dudes
To protect you now
Yeah they're so
Fucking big
That dude's huge
Yeah I know
Prince
I don't know his name
Yeah but he's big
John refers to everyone
On a first name basis
Like everyone knows
Who all of his friends are
Also every black guy
Is just Prince
They're all named Prince
That guy's Prince
That guy's also Prince
There's a third prince Over there That's Michael Jackson Also, every black guy is just Prince. They're all named Prince. That guy's Prince. That guy's also Prince.
There's a third Prince over there.
That's Michael Jackson.
He was in that fucking Lakers series.
He was in winning time?
He was doing background NBA stuff.
Well, he's the voice of one of the Boondocks.
No, that's the other one.
He was the booty warrior.
Booty hunter.
That guy kicks ass. Yeah, he's the man.
He's like the nicest guy of all time.
John will tell you stuff. He'll be like,
yeah, MCA is our new bouncer.
It's crazy. I guess every
black guy in Hollywood, the strikes start and they're
all like bouncers now.
I've been kicked
out of many a bar because these bouncers, they don't
know how to handle themselves now. They shouldn't be
working at these places in the pandemic.
They hired a bunch of fucking guys
that have no clue how to bounce.
They bounce me?
We need the strike today.
Huh?
They're like, I've seen Roadhouse. I know how to do this.
I had a lot of problems
at Red Lion. Red Lion just hired
a bunch of dudes.
They guys eating crawfish out of their pockets.
We've been to 86. We've been to 86 and the Red Lion. Red Lion just hired a bunch of dudes. The guys eating crawfish out of their pockets. We've been to 86.
We've been to 86 and the Red Lion like five times.
Yeah, yeah.
I've been kicked out of the Red Lion, I think, seven times.
Holy shit.
And I always come back.
I've been kicked out once that I can remember.
That was the funniest kick out I've ever remembered.
Can I tell from my point of view?
Joey, me and Jordan show up at the Red Lion,
and we get one beer, and immediately the bartender cuts us off
because you guys are sitting.
Devin's being really loud.
Devin's being really loud, but, you know, let's fucking dance.
I remember this.
You were being crazy.
No, I was being quiet and sad.
You both were being insane.
I think it was my birthday.
No, no, my friend just died, so I was all quiet and sad.
It wasn't an outrageous amount of noise. It was the downstairs bar,. It wasn't an outrageous amount of noise.
It was the downstairs bar, but it wasn't an
insane amount of noise. And me and Jordan show up there,
we get a picture, and then the guy
immediately cuts us off. He's like, give us a cup. And we're like, this is our
first drink. What the fuck are you talking about? Because it was quiet downstairs
and we were being loud. But we were like,
well, fuck this guy, we're going to finish drinking. Joey,
unbelievable. Go, Jug, go ahead.
And there was a guy at the bar who looked
like a vampire hunter, and we kept making fun of him for being a vampire hunter out loud.
Yeah.
He had like a big vampire hunter hat.
And apparently that guy was like the bartender's best friend.
Yeah.
And he was like, you guys are all out of here.
Like all this shit.
But the funniest part about it is we're all waiting out front.
And I remember like, you know, when you look at a door from the side and, you know, you
just see someone walk out like that.
I see Joey walk out.
The door swings open.
Joey walks out and then turns around and goes,
oh, yeah, well, go fuck yourself,
cocksucker, to the bartender.
Joey starts to insult people like John Wayne after a while.
He's like, you sandbagging son of a bitch, you.
One time I woke up,
and maybe we said this on the pod,
but I didn't remember,
but I woke up to text from Devin
telling me that I call a bartender a
cuck until he kicked me out of the bar.
That was... That kicks ass.
That was like two months ago. No, that was
way longer. That was not that long ago.
Oh, years ago. Let's talk about it.
We were at the great Sonny McClain's
in Santa Monica.
This kind of sucks. Go ahead. By the way, I've been
back and I've talked to that bartender. He's a lovely
man. He's nuts that night. Maybe he was having a bad night. By the way, I've been back, and I've talked to that bartender. He's a lovely man. He's nuts that night.
Maybe he was having a bad night.
By the way, I'm sure everyone who's ever kicked you guys out is probably a pretty cool, normal guy.
So, okay, so we're at this bar.
You were wild all night, by the way.
You were, like, crazy.
I got crazier later.
Dude, you were, like, fucking, like, Bill Hicks in the midst of, of like his like his alcoholism like you were a maniac joey's wearing a duster yeah
so i'm standing outside with like mark and and a couple other people and we're like where the
fuck's joey what's going on we thought we were closing out and i walk inside and i hear joey
just like you're a cock you're a cock fuck. This is two months ago? This is two months ago.
No, this is like six.
Maybe three.
Six.
It's not six months ago, dude.
It's not six months ago, bro.
That's a long time.
This is not that long.
Maybe three or four months.
This is in the summer.
No, no.
Actually, you know what?
Four months ago.
Four.
I'm going to say four.
All right, four.
I love how the time frame matters, really.
Recently.
So I walk in, and the guy is yelling at Joey, because Joey ate food off of somebody's plate.
Hang on.
I remember this part.
I do remember this part of it is that I was at the bar trying to pay for a long time.
I was at the bar trying to pay.
I was very hammered, but there was a plate of popcorn chicken that was abandoned.
And it was like to the point where nobody would leave food that long at a bar that they're
going to come back to.
So I'm like, oh, somebody didn't finish their food
and they left.
So I grabbed a popcorn chicken
and I just ate it, just one, while I was waiting.
And then the guy saw me
and that's how the whole thing started.
And he flipped out.
Well, to be fair,
kind of like poke a hole in that,
there was a guy left a thing over his drink.
No, he did not.
Like, I'm in the back.
No, no, no.
I'm coming back.
No, he did not. Yeah, there was. That's a lie. When I'm in the bathroom. No, no, no. I'm coming back. No, he did not.
Yeah, there was.
That's a lie.
Because when I came in, I was trying to defend you, but then I was like, oh, boy.
Joey's like, look, the guy went to the bathroom.
Joey's like, no, he didn't.
Because if there was a paper over there, I would have roofied him.
And so I walk in, and they're in a scream.
This guy is furious at Joey.
He's yelling at me. He goes, get him the fuck out of here. This is in Santa Monica? This're in a scream. I, this guy is furious. I said, Joey, he's yelling at me.
He goes,
get him the fuck out of here.
This is in Santa Monica.
This is in Santa Monica.
I mean,
their,
their bar for shenanigans is so low.
Yeah.
Yeah.
But it's also,
it is on that street.
It's high on that street.
It's higher though.
It's an Irish sports bar and like a lot of Celtics fans.
It's like fake Irish people.
It's like all these rich yuppies
that want to pretend
like they're Southie guys.
That's what that is.
It is.
It's a bunch of the town wannabes.
I mean, that's where
Wrighty Bulger was
when he was arrested.
That's true.
Not at that bar.
He was hiding.
He went there because he's like,
this is the least Irish place
in the world.
No one's going to see me. No one's going to see me.
No one's going to recognize me.
It's a bunch of guys
like with Jeremy Renner's
Notre Dame tattoo
on his neck from the town,
but it's a henna tattoo.
That's the type of people
that go there.
And you're covering it
because you stole
a parking code the night before.
So,
I walk in
in the midst of this battle,
and I'm trying to mediate it.
I go, I don't know what he did.
Like, Joey, let's get out of here.
And Joey's, like, screaming at this guy.
I've never seen you this angry before, honestly, in my life.
You were like, you hated this man.
And then the funniest thing, though, because no matter what,
all of us are funny even in our most angry moments.
That's what's great about this crew.
And so Joey starts
there's like almost nobody there.
Joey looks over to like
three people sitting at the bar
at the end of the bar and he goes like
he's a cock, isn't he? And he goes
cock, cock, cock.
He tried to start a
cock chat about the
bartender and everyone's like we quite like
him.
I don't know what your problem him. I remember everybody joining in
on the chat. No one joined in.
I would love it though if it just started a slow
clap and everyone's like...
I was like the guy rapping at the airport where he
thought everyone's going to start singing along.
But now it's just me yelling cuck.
Yeah, it was great. I've never been yelling cuck. Yeah. It was great.
I've never, like,
been kicked out of a bar.
You don't get drunk drunk.
Like, you...
No, you drink like crazy,
but I've never seen you be, like,
so drunk where you're like,
you know what?
Like, all of a sudden
these weird opinions
start coming out.
Yeah, yeah, I don't do that.
You don't get that way.
Also, I'm not funny when I'm mad.
Yeah, you're mad.
I'm really mad, yeah.
There's nothing funny about it.
Connor goes straight to, like,
I'm gonna punch you. Where, like, we'll go, like, hey, I'm gonna make fun of you're mad. I'm really mad. Yeah, there's nothing funny about it. Connor goes straight to, like, I'm going to punch you.
Where, like, we'll go, like, hey, I'm going to make fun of you.
Yeah.
Connor was like, if he's mad, he'll just fucking, like, sock you in the stomach or something.
Which I won't do, but that's, like, what is there.
That's why I keep it.
I've heard some stories.
No, you haven't?
Yes, I have.
About me punching somebody?
You scrapped an old man into hunger.
Oh, my God.
That's the best
fucking story i tell that story no no i just killed an old man is it too early to get into
that yeah i don't want oh man i'll get into it next week you kicked your brother's ass in the
driveway yeah but that's my brother yeah that's a lot that's yeah not a conversation with a stranger
where i'm like you know yeah it's like a hockey I don't think you're a bad guy for it.
I'm just saying you go with punching.
You will kill a guy in the woods.
You will punch your brother.
Connor killed an old man, but like, we'll get into it next week.
Me and my friends killed an old man.
I forgot it was a group activity.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That's the best story I ever heard.
Wait, come on. Let's tell them. I've ever heard. Wait, come on.
Let's tell them.
It's too early.
It's too early.
Let's tease the people.
They're going to lose their minds.
That's a great teaser.
Imagine just saying that casually and like, anyway, so in the news.
Hey, maybe on the Patreon, we'll talk about how Connor killed an old man.
Everyone check out the Patreon where Connor admits to violent crimes.
Manslaughter, at the very least.
But yeah, so it doesn't matter how drunk we've ever been.
No one has ever been as drunk as Gary Busey is sober.
What?
Yeah.
Gary Busey was involved in a hit and run in Santa Monica.
I saw this, yeah.
In Malibu, actually.
And it's one of the greatest things I've ever seen.
It's only a minute long, but TMZ caught it.
Thank God.
And let's check it out.
I love them.
I love them so much.
I know.
I don't care if the families are like, we didn't know he was dead until you told us.
And that's a little hard to find out from you.
And they're like, well, you're welcome.
They go, why are you shitting on us, the Bryant family?
I mean, we found him before you.
Should be thanking us for finding his bones.
Yes, goddammit.
Vanessa, we're here to tell you that your husband
and whoever the fuck else was on that helicopter died.
That is how the news should have posed it.
It was like, Kobe and his daughter die with a bunch of nothings.
Oh my god. the news should have posed as like, Kobe and his daughter die with a bunch of nothings.
I'm kidding. I remember some of their names.
Yeah, say them right now.
They were like Alta Belli, John Alta Belli.
John Alta Belli and a bunch of...
A lot of families were destroyed in that.
That was their algebra teacher
in high school. Jokes aren't funny.
Yeah, I might have been making that up. Maybe it's not AltaBelly, but
I wish he died.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Anyway, here's Gary Busey.
So he just crashed into this woman
on the road. Can you full screen on the thing? He just crashed into this woman on the road. Can you full screen on the thing?
He just crashed into this woman on the road, right?
And she's honking and I'm trying to get his attention.
Like, pull over.
You can't just hit people.
You hit my car.
I need your information.
He just speeds up.
He's in a full though.
He's like, I think I'm hearing ghosts again.
Someone's...
You vibed out.
It doesn't matter.
That's not how this works.
You hit my car. you have scuffs all over
your car oh no progressive insurance that's all he says like he's what is she supposed to do with
that information shut up i'll call i'll call flow right now you calm down flows on the way
he's like obviously not doing well.
Look at his rear view mirror is bashed.
So he's been in multiple accidents.
I mean, Gary Busey's just driving around Malibu
playing bumper cars.
I do love his outfit, though.
Oh, he looks sick as hell.
You know he has brain damage from a motorcycle crash.
Changed his whole personality.
He's been out of his mind for quite some time, but he's looking
thin and possibly
sick. Yeah, he looks very thin there.
So, do you think he's drunk in this? I like the excuses.
No, I don't think he's drunk. I don't think he's drunk.
I think he's under the influence
of Busey. Yeah, you're right.
I think he's Busey. He's abusing the Busey.
He's abusing the Busey.
So, yeah.
I want the number. I want the number.
I want the information.
Sir, you hit my car.
No.
It doesn't matter.
You hit me.
You hit my car.
No.
I also, if we can look closely,
I think he's wearing a hat that just says NFL on it.
So that's like, when you're at the end of your rope,
you just start wearing clothes that just say general
Like you know organizations
You just wear a hat that just says
T-Mobile
I'm just a fan of all the
All the football teams
I love the NFL
You wear an AMC hat
I love the AMC theaters
I'm finished
A shirt that says car on it
I love car Vroom vroom theaters. I'm finished. A shirt that says car on it.
I love car.
I love car. Vroom vroom.
Break.
It does everything, car.
No, you rear-ended me.
I don't give a shit, you stupid bitch.
Look at the smile on his face.
I love him. I would love if he was
just like, I did what?
No, I didn't.
Just denying it.
He's driving like a piece of shit Volvo, too.
Look, it's all dented.
Look at the back.
The back is dented.
Oh, he's fucked up.
He goes, you know what fear stands for?
He's laughing.
Evidence appearing real.
Goodbye, bitch.
You should just leave hitting someone. Look at the? He's laughing. Evidence appearing real. Goodbye, bitch.
Look at the front of his car.
It's all fucked.
Gary Busey kicks so much ass.
He hits the fucking building.
This lady should be honored.
Does she not know who that is?
Obviously, he has no idea.
Yeah, he's doing it, bitch.
Man.
Well, because if she knew who he was, she would just call the cops and go,
Gary Busey just rear-ended me.
Right.
Yeah.
And they go, ma'am, you're like the 18th caller today.
It's like, I have his license plate.
They're like, no, we know it's Gary Busey.
We know it's Busey.
No, we arrested him four times this morning.
He keeps getting out somehow.
God bless Gary Busey.
What was he famous for?
What was a big Busey movie? He won an Oscar for
Wasn't he in Speed?
No that's Dennis Hopper
Who was he the partner in?
Point break
So he won an Oscar for Buddy Holly
That's how he first got really famous
He played Buddy Holly
He played Buddy Holly. He played Buddy Holly, okay.
And he was pretty young still.
And then, yeah, he just did a series of...
He was the third henchman in Lethal Weapon.
Okay.
And, yeah, he was in Point Break.
He was Keanu's partner.
And then he did a lot of shit like that.
And then he was on Celebrity Apprentice in his later years when they stopped hiring him for shit.
And then he was on that show, I'm With Busey.
I don't remember that.
What was that about?
It's a Comedy Central show.
It's a reality show where, like, a comedian embedded himself with Busey.
And that's when the whole world realized, like, oh, he's lost his mind.
That's when he started giving them the acronyms.
Yeah. I always get him mixed up with Nolte.
Me too, yeah. They have a similar
face. They should join forces.
He should get on his back
and they should go around town wreaking havoc.
Nolte would hate
him so much. There's a few celebrities
I think should join forces. Carrie Mulligan
and Michelle Williams should just
combine because I'm sick of trying to figure out
which one was in which movie.
They're the same person.
You guys know who I'm talking about?
Carey Mulligan, Michelle Williams.
She's the one that was in...
They both have short-haired...
Blonde, mousy...
Blonde, mousy girls.
Yeah.
Garrett Hedlund, Charlie Hunnam.
Just the same guy.
Exactly.
Get on his shoulders.
What are you doing?
I don't care which is on the shoulders.
Banjo-Kazooie this. You guys... Exactly. What are you doing? I don't care which is on the shoulders. Banjo-Kazooie this.
You guys.
Exactly.
What are we doing here?
As the great Mike Rainey says, get in a little rascal's trench coat and walk around town.
That clip's incredible.
Incredible.
Check out Mike Rainey's video where he went to the Danilo Cavalcanti, the guy that escaped
prison in Philadelphia, got caught two weeks later,
and comedian Michael Rainey on Dad Meat, the podcast,
he went to the press conference when they caught him
and somehow got in,
and he asked a question.
He goes,
Sir, was there ever a concern that he would ever join forces
with another small man,
little rascal style in a trench coat?
And the cop killed somebody, right?
He murdered his girlfriend and he escaped from prison.
And then the cop just goes, no.
And they just move right on.
No one even seemed to understand it was a joke.
Incredible video.
Check it out.
You can't really laugh at a murder press conference.
No.
No, no, no.
You can't.
Even though they were probably like, that's hilarious. No, no, no, you can't.
Even though they were probably like, that's hilarious.
I would.
Fucking poker fish.
I would.
I would have been incredible.
I would have been done.
Yeah, they should hold that press conference at the Apollo.
Oh, man.
What a time.
What a time to be alive.
You know, I got a lot of stuff here, you know, but really, I just want John to talk more.
What are you talking about? I don't know. I just need more from you
Listen, but I don't know. Yes. Oh casual. How's your lawsuit? Yeah, how was the lawsuit going?
We have Joey Joey has some personal updates as well. Oh, is it my lawsuit is fast? No, I'm gonna do my loss
My lawsuits going well, my lawyers getting angry at me for talking about it, so I can't talk about it too much.
But you'll get updates.
He's a big hate watch guy, your lawyer.
Dude, he called me.
He called me.
He called me and goes, do you have a podcast?
And I was like, what?
And he was like, can you?
Yeah, I got ratted on.
He was like, do not talk about it.
He goes, it's fine on hate watch, but don't say anything on Lemon Park.
Yeah, don't say anything on Eid hour.
No, he.
Do you have it? Do you have it?
Do you have it?
Oh, airdrop it.
Airdrop it.
Yeah, no.
Everything's going great.
Like, honestly, as far as things can go, it's going very fucking well.
I'm looking into, like, a very good year next year.
It's gonna be a very good year.
I'm honestly, like, just thinking.
Where John will shower at the YMCA.
Oh yeah, it's gonna be great.
And all the Asian gays
will rape his face
at the YMCA.
I'm safe.
Is that why we went to?
It's gonna be
a very good year.
Do you not know what a very good year
is by Frank Sinatra? Dude, your brain has been rotted.
A little Frank Sinatra's fucking discussion.
That's a deep cut.
That's a famous song.
How do you escape it?
Yeah, what?
I never even heard of that one.
You've never been to a fucking buffet in Vegas?
I know the kick in the head or whatever.
Ain't that a kick in the head?
I don't even know if that's him.
Oh, that's Dean Martin.
Fly me to the moon?
Fly me to the moon.
Are you sure you caught COVID or syphilis?
Dude, I'm honestly like it could be.
You have the same brain as Al Capone.
Dude, it's fucked up.
It's fucked up.
It's really fucked up.
Dude, it's fucked up.
I need an MRI.
Like I'm a different man.
Just casually saying that? I have like brain damage. Dude, I need a fucking MRI, dude. Like it's fucked a different man. Just casually saying that?
I have, like, brain damage.
Dude, I need to fuck an MRI, dude.
Like, it's fucked up, dude.
Like, I've had people come up to me and, like, tell me things, and, like, a day later, or, like, give me things, and a day later, I don't remember.
Really?
Yeah, dude.
Dude, I, like, can't remember anything from high school.
That's normal.
I know, but, like, everyone else can.
Names.
I don't remember anything from high school. Yeah, I don't remember names, really. I used to be good. No, fuck that shit. That's stupid. That's a. I know, but everyone else can. I don't remember anything from high school.
I used to be good.
No, fuck that shit.
That's the sign of a loser.
If you're a fucking loser, you're not in high school.
Also, I grew up in LA and everyone's like,
do you remember Vanessa Gonzalez?
I'm like, yeah, that could be anybody.
Yeah, I know.
Vanessa Gonzalez.
You might as well say John Smith to me.
You went to a big high school though, right?
Pretty big, yeah.
How many people in the class?
No clue.
Like a thousand?
One of those?
A graduating class?
Yeah.
Probably close to that, yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
What do we have at St. Francis?
300?
300?
Yeah.
300?
Yeah, and I still don't remember half their names.
Yeah, people come up to me and I'm like, who the fuck are you, dude?
And they know my name.
It's fucked up.
Everyone that we went to high school with,
they're all real estate agents now.
They all do commercial real estate
where they sell cars.
Yeah.
Which is Connor and I have said,
it's the nursing for men.
Yeah, it's the end of the line for men.
You know, you put on a suit,
you go to Brooks Brothers,
you put on a suit,
and you can be retarded,
and you just walk around,
and you go,
yeah, that's the kitchen.
Everything else has failed,
and so I'm doing this.
All you have to do is memorize how many bathrooms are in the home.
It's a perfect job for a near retard.
There's two bathrooms.
I mean, 2.5.
Fuck!
Fuck, you're stupid!
Okay, so Joey, why don't you explain...
Okay.
For the hate watcher, the lawyer, the loyal hate watchers on our Patreon, they know about this long, long time story where Joey broke a TV at his home theater at his apartment complex.
16 months ago now.
16.
Wow.
Yeah.
Wow.
How time flies.
I know.
Wow.
Incredible.
And so we were there.
We were watching like a playoff game or something.
And Joey was hammered and he
kept going out to the lobby and there's a there's like a whole there's a theater you could like just
use at his apartment complex right and there's these giant golden great dane statues outside of
the theater and we were joey was hammered and joey kept going outside and grabbing these great danes
and walking in and going, Look at this pup.
What a beautiful pup.
It doesn't even make sense as a goof.
I was so fucked up.
I was like blackout drunk.
Yeah, you don't remember.
Do you remember any of it?
Because you woke up the next day, you had no memory of breaking the TV.
You broke like an 80-inch TV.
Maybe now because I've seen the video.
Maybe I'm like piecing it together.
And I remember like going and starting to fuck with the Great Dane statues at the beginning,
but I don't know
if I just remember from watching.
Did you initially watch the video and see you break the TV
and you're like, who is that?
A real memento.
It wasn't quite that bad, but I remember
I might have heard about it
from my apartment first and then
messaged Devin and been like, did we fuck up
a TV?
I have like five minutes of footage.
I have it all on tape, buddy.
It's on the Patreon. So this has
been a running thing. We used to talk about it on the
Patreon and then, you know, so Joey would
get hit up and they'd be like, you have to pay
and Joey would be like, I don't know who that guy is.
And Joey's on camera like, it's me,
Joseph R. LeFleur.
We're like, breaking a TV.
You'll never catch me, coppers.
He sprays the camera with a Tommy gun.
No, wait, hang on.
The first thing that happened was the original management company of the apartment building,
they said, they called me and they were just like, we have you on video.
You broke the TV in the movie theater room.
And so, you know, not a big deal,
but just pay us back and pay for the movie or for the TV and we're square.
And then I was like, I don't even know about that.
I don't know.
And then I called Devin.
I'm like, did we break the TV?
And he was like, yeah, you broke it.
And then so I was-
And then you're like, you son of a bitch.
They're against me.
Who's Sonny on?
Did we break a TV?
Devin's like,
who's we?
What's this we?
No,
I kept saying we,
by the way,
every time after that.
And he's like,
no,
you.
You lump me in like we're on tour.
We're going around the country
breaking apartment complexes,
TVs with gold Great Dane statues.
Devin,
did we break up
with my girlfriend last night?
But then,
so I,
on the phone,
I was like,
I called them back
because I was a little bit scared
of getting evicted or something.
Right.
Criminal charges or whatever.
So I was like,
I called them back.
I'm like,
my bad.
It was us.
I didn't admit to doing it,
but I was like,
I'll pay you.
Not a big deal.
And I had way more money
at the time.
My job at that point,
I was making like a crazy amount of money.
So I was like, okay, I'll just pay it.
And then they're like, okay, please confirm it in email that you broke it so that we have grew forever.
And then I just never confirmed.
You go, what do you think?
Is this my first time being told to confirm a crime?
My first time breaking property?
Are you dumb?
What are you, dumb?
Are you kidding me?
I burned down my last apartment.
Do you have any idea how many parking cones
and stop signs I have in my apartment right now?
You were just
to give the listeners a little more
insight into Joey's
drunken antics. There was a period of time where Joey
kept stealing construction
cones. I couldn't stop
for years. Yeah.
It's a fun thing.
Like a brain that's blacked out just instantly.
It's like, oh, there's a shiny thing.
There's like a big bright thing. Let me grab it.
I'd be watching a movie of Joy's and I'd look over
and there's a giant merge sign just standing there.
And I'm like, what did you get last night?
But so then anyways, they
billed me for the TV, but they
also included the surround sound
system that they replaced and it ended up being like uh 3 500 bucks yeah and then i was like well
fuck that i thought it'd be like a thousand bucks 1500 bucks i'm not paying that and then so i'm
like hey are you guys sure i broke it blah blah blah because we we for a while thought they didn't
have footage we just didn't know.
Did they show you the footage?
No.
I thought, fuck them.
Well, but they said stuff like, hey, also you guys were vaping in there.
Like, we have you on video.
Oh, yeah, okay.
Oh, right.
So I think that they may have had footage at some point.
But then part of my philosophy on this whole thing was, let's wait it out.
The longer we wait, the more likely that footage is to be deleted or replaced.
we wait the more likely that footage is to be deleted or replaced or like no one's hosting videos on a server for an apartment uh complex over like certain amount of time because it's
expensive very smart so then the management company changed a commercial real estate company
moved in and replaced not a single employee from the time the tv was broken was there and we thought
you were in the clear we were were like, hell yeah, dude.
Exactly.
We waited it out long enough.
They got new management.
They don't have the footage of us sucking each other off in the theater anymore.
We're good.
The human centipede stuff is gone.
But then finally the new management company came in,
and they were like, they served me an eviction notice
because they saw this $3,500, and they thought that was past due rent so then I came into the office
and I'm like guys you've you're like falsely evicting me this is I'll sue you back like you
gotta get rid of this right now and then I'm like this isn't rent and they're like well you have to
prove that it's not rent and they're commercial real estate so they don't understand residential real you have to prove it exactly so i'm like the
burden of proof is on you and like i'll see you in court that's like the kind of shit i'm saying
to them and then so i keep stalling it out and i'm like these guys definitely don't have the
footage why would the old company send them the footage they don't give a fuck and also good luck
contacting them to help you with this. They're done with this place.
We're done with that place.
But then so, like,
you know,
they keep putting pressure on me.
They keep putting pressure on me.
And then management changes again.
Oh, God, yeah. Three times the management changed. Unbelievable. Three different management changes.
This apartment complex is really, it's fake nice.
Folks, it's too big.
It's corporate and it's huge.
It's like a fucking town, dude.
It's a city block.
It's a city block.
Yeah.
It's a massive, massive amount of real estate.
In my building, there are two bars, Char City and that wine one.
A gay massage studio.
A gay massage studio. A gay massage studio.
A gay massage studio, yeah.
There's a coffee shop.
There is a barbecue pit.
It's just like,
it's almost its own city.
And there was a prostitution ring
being run out of your building.
Yeah, there's hookers.
I was in the elevator a couple times
and there were women with asses
that were insanely fake and huge
and they had huge tits
and there was a weird little tiny day laborer next to like you'll bet they're like a fucking better next time like
that was the pimp he was a little tiny pimp he was he was like the pimp from the cupboard he
lived between their tits yeah yeah i would see him too and he would like give them a coca-cola
if they were being good it was weird that means a lot to them, dude. Exactly.
You'll get a Mexican coke if you do it better
next time.
The complex, it's like
Deadwood if Deadwood were soulless
and corporate and had minorities.
So it's nothing
like Deadwood.
No, it's like its own community.
It's a city. There are hookers.
It's its own city. It's a city. There are hookers. It's its own city.
It's Gotham.
You live in Gotham.
Sure.
But so then,
third management company takes over,
and they almost served me an eviction as well.
And then I come back,
I go to the office,
and I go,
guys, listen,
this just happened with The Last Place.
It's for TV.
It's not past due rent.
Almost had to sue the last guys.
Like, let's get this figured out once and for all.
And then I sent this huge email that I think
we read on an old podcast. Yes.
And then, so they just didn't respond
to that for a long time.
And then today, they messaged me
and they said, hi, just
reviewed the email. We have credited
your account with $3,500.
So you won.
I won. 16 months went by and you won,
which is crazy because you're completely guilty.
We have the video right here.
You totally did it.
I can't admit to anything legally,
but I look bad if somebody watches.
So this is...
Who is that?
Who is that?
That has a different haircut than you.
You look bad.
I don't even know who that guy is.
Who is this maniac in this footage?
So this is Joey's third time bringing this golden great Dane into the room.
He was obsessed with this dog, and he kept bringing it in going,
what a good pup.
I love this pup.
What a great pup.
And then finally he just smashes it against the TV.
You're turning into Gary Busey.
It's beautiful to watch.
I love it.
I become Busey when I'm hammered.
Why are you bringing him in again?
Oh my god.
You already brought him in.
The thing weighs 600 pounds, by the way.
Solid gold.
You're going to break the fucking dog.
Here we go.
Jesus Christ.
Oh my god.
Joey, you literally just broke the TV.
Oh my god.
Oh, Joey.
You just broke the TV.
The TV has a massive dent in it.
A dent.
I love how you lie down.
No, I'm getting all comfortable. That's a big statue.
TVs are precious.
They're fragile.
What are you going to do?
I like how
you blame the TV.
You go, it's a fucking weak TV.
No, I'm acting like they should be built
with armor.
I'm holding the giant Great Dane here.
You don't think it's going to break a TV?
He goes, TVs are fragile, dipshit.
The way you lie down is so funny.
I'm the drunkest retard in the world.
You lie down like you had a hard day's work.
Like, I don't know about you guys, but I'm pretty tuckered out.
That thing was heavy, so.
You are.
You're so confident. It's's insane you always have a response you
always have a response it's unbelievable i go joe you just broke the tv goes fuck tvs are fragile
things you idiot you idiot he's like you shouldn't put that great dan in my arms
but so anyways i got away with it. You got away with it.
And I...
We didn't show that for the last 16 months publicly
because we were trying to help.
It was on Patreon.
It was on Patreon, but we know your apartment complex
is going to join our Patreon.
I think I posted it on Instagram.
Hey, by the way, if you want to join Patreon,
you can probably get me for a lot of crimes.
Oh, yeah.
That's true.
There's a few I haven't been able to release.
They're on my computer.
I watch them every day.
I still can't believe Joey did that.
Oh, man.
We should release those.
Yeah, why not?
Because it would literally get our channel taken down.
It's a federal crime.
Oh, on Patreon.
On Patreon.
Well, I think Patreon's our only money.
I wouldn't risk it.
I wouldn't risk it.
Oh, and the one called Party State. Joey called in a bomb threat to a law office. Yeah. I think Patreon's our only money. I wouldn't risk it. Why don't we explain it?
Joey called in a bomb threat to a law office.
Not only just a law office,
the most important law office in the United States.
The guy who got,
was it Durst off?
Yeah, don't give him any more info.
Ah, sorry.
Because these people will start calling.
No, let him call.
No.
Let him call.
Really?
Now you're inciting, like, terroristic threats.
Do you not enjoy those Venmos every month?
Yes.
Do you want to get taken off?
Taken off.
I mean, just the arrogance to be like, yeah, good luck, the biggest law firm finding a podcast.
It was so big they had a call center.
Oh, yeah.
No, it's a big national.
Joey got really angry at this fat secretary.
We don't know what she looked like.
She sounded fat to me.
Son of a bitch.
She's in Texas.
They're fat as shit.
Hey, this is Joey LaFleur.
Hi, Joey.
Nice to meet you.
But yeah, so over to the Patreon
A lot of wild stuff there folks
Patreon.com
Slash hate watch podcast
I don't know
Do you guys care
Like anymore
About the Ashton Kutcher
Cause you know
There's a lot
I know you don't
Cause you have like
I don't know what's going on
In your life John
Like you don't care about
Anything
I love you to culture anymore
What are you talking about
You're a big Masterson guy
I'm a huge Masterson guy
Well we all are
This is a pro Masterson pod
Favorite actor Yeah It's Conor Conor're a big Masterson guy. I'm a huge Masterson guy. Well, we all are. This is a pro-Masterson pod. Favorite actor?
It's Conor Smith. Conor's favorite actor.
Masterson.
Brian Laundrie. Coburger,
Masterson, Laundrie. Our favorite guys.
Oh, favorite guys.
They're, you know,
they've had everything against
them from the beginning, and they've
you know, we're the only people that are
still on their side, but that's because, like, you know,
we're freedom fighters
we're not cheap
we're not a bunch of fucking shoes
we don't go with the flow
call me Hillary Swank
cause I'm a freedom fighter
freedom writer
that was a great movie
you get out of here
you fucked up the name of a movie in 2007.
Carter goes back to New York.
You guys remember that movie, Freedom Riders?
Of course.
Where Hillary Swank is...
With the minority children?
Yeah, she's teaching.
It's like her...
What is that movie with Edward James Olmos?
How do I get through to these kids?
The Substitute?
No, no, no.
I don't know the name of the movie.
I don't know that I know of it.
Stand and Deliver.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, it's Hillary Swank's Stand and Deliver,
and she's, you know, the kids keep, like, paralyzing her
and throwing her on, like, a stool, and she dies.
Suplexing her.
Suplexing her.
They're, like, spit roasting her.
They spit roast her and stuff.
Edward James almost comes in.
Yeah.
It's Hilary Swank, like, she's in front of the class.
She's like, guys, come on.
I said a hip, hop, a hip, a hip.
And George Washington was the first president, and what's in front of the class. She's like, guys, come on. I said a hip, hop, a hip, a hip. And then George Washington
was the first president
and the,
what you see is not a desk.
Man,
that movie,
that movie rocked my world
when I first saw it as a kid.
I was like,
holy shit,
so powerful.
It was,
it was female Coach Carter.
Yeah,
it really was.
But then there's just scenes
where she printed out
like Tupac lyrics
and they read it as like poetry. Yeah. Yeah. it really was. But then there's just scenes where she printed out Tupac lyrics and they
read it as poetry.
And the kids start rapping it because they know
it already. They already know it because she doesn't
understand. It's just like, wow. Oh my god.
Wow, they can read.
But, okay, I'm starting
to think that Ashton Kutcher killed
a woman. What? Yeah, that's a bad guy. I don't think you come up with an organization like that. I don think that Ashton Kutcher killed a woman. What?
Yeah, that's a bad guy.
I don't think you come up with an organization like that.
I don't trust Ashton Kutcher.
I never have.
There's something weird about him.
Connor, I don't mean to rehash last week.
He was in the ranch.
My bad.
Okay, and the ranch was, like I said last week, just getting started.
And, you know, I can't have Masterson be a rapist and Kutcher be a murderer.
It's too much in one week.
That 70s show. I mean, it's crazy.
How much can a man take?
Because the 70s were so wild, what if
they thought they were just being
people from the 70s by
raping and killing?
Yeah.
They're method.
They studied under Uta Hagen.
You know. But this is kind of interesting.
This lady, there's these psychos
on TikTok that they're supposed to have
a family by now, but all they do is
they do these things and they talk about these things
and it's good for us.
Your eggs are drying up sugar thick.
The clock is ticking, bitch.
It's very weird.
Ashton Kutcher was at...
His fingerprints were on the
doorknob of a woman that was stabbed
today. What?
You don't know? I've seen this TikTok.
I would love to see this.
It sounds amazing.
I love that shit.
Can you go full screen?
Ashton Kutcher and Mila Kunis wrote a support letter to the judge in Danny Masterson's trial.
I didn't report on this yesterday because I'm not going to lie.
It was hard to swallow.
I've always loved these two and I've always respected Ashton Kutcher for the fact that he's done a lot for trafficking victims.
If you haven't already seen the letters, this one is Mila Kunis' letter.
You can pause to read. And this is Ashton Kutcher's letter. One of the victims named Chrissy Bixler,
who dated Danny Masterson. Liar! You lie! You get his name out of your mouth! You get his
fucking name out of your mouth, you whore! Look at that saint! He's a saint. Look at him. Those kind eyes.
Another one.
They keep taking down great white men.
Laundry.
Coburger.
Now Masterson.
I fucking had it with this country.
The buck stops here.
What do you want?
All right, I turn on HBO.
We don't stand a chance anymore.
Now we're rapists.
All these out of work actors that can't get a fucking job on Insecure.
You say they're rapists on top of it.
I mean, is it enough?
Enough.
Right, folks.
Everyone listening agrees.
From 1995 to 2002, just posted to her Instagram stories after finding out about these letters.
Before I get into what she posted, if you're unfamiliar with the trial,
Danny Masterson received two guilty verdicts out of three.
She was the one that the jury did not find him guilty for.
She accused him of graping her while she was sleeping, but...
By the way...
They can't say rape because it's TikTok.
You have to say graping or grape, which is like now you're making a mockery of rape.
Yeah.
That's ridiculous.
You don't say grape.
You say what happened.
It's a brutal thing that happened. I got raped and somebody said, oh, did you get raped?
Oh, you raped.
I'm like, no, this isn't a wise kids you know sketch, asshole.
Okay?
It's kind of hilarious how we go in a full circle by trying to be nice and trying to do the right thing.
Yes.
All of a sudden,
you start referring to rape as grape.
That's silly.
Well, it's the fucking AIs and shit.
I know, but I think AI is actually like a sick freak.
I think AI likes that we have to avoid all these things.
It's kinky.
We have to make up wacky words for murder.
We're like, he was shmurdered in his sleep, and then his wife was graved.
We go, ooh, was it a white grape or a purple grape?
He's like, let me just make a mockery of all these weird beings.
Let me just make a mockery of their worst tragedies.
AI has been sent here to destroy the world.
Skynet.
It's like Eminem in the early 2000s.
All right, back to Masterson and his
innocence and Ashton Kutcher, who is a definite
killer. You could on full screen this, by the
way. I thought I was going to have to read or something.
Ashton Kutcher's a killer. And I'm going to say
it's official, actually.
We haven't even got to the point where they talk about Ashton
yet, but I'm just going to say it right now. Ashton Kutcher
is a murderer, folks.
He is Jack the Ripper.
He wore Von Dutch hats, and he did punked
because he liked watching other people commit crimes.
There's a weird thing about him.
He's a voyeur.
He's a voyeuristic.
And now he's stopping crimes.
And now he's pretending to stop crimes,
which is what you always get in front of it.
The guiltiest man of all time.
The guiltiest man of all time.
Anyone doing good in this world is evil.
He's like Hannibal Lecter, where he's now helping
solve the crime that he once committed.
Exactly. I mean, it's like Gandhi, right?
Gandhi, great guy. Grapist.
Grapist.
Gandhi was a
grapist. And a gracist.
And a gracist.
And he was, uh,
how did he die?
He got stabbed?
No.
Gandhi?
Didn't Gandhi get stabbed to death
by somebody?
He got stabbed by one of his victims.
In my head,
Gandhi just shriveled up and died.
He just turned to dust
and then floated away.
That's how he died in my head.
Mexico actually just released evidence of Gandhi.
Because they were together, the jury did not find him guilty.
She posted this to Instagram saying,
Dear Ashton, I know the secrets your role model keeps for you.
Did you forget I was there?
You were on speakerphone that night you called Danny on February 21st, 2001.
I heard everything.
I heard the plan.
In my opinion, you're just as sick as your mentor.
You must have put that date on purpose
because if you look up Ashton Kutcher, February of 2001,
you might remember this story.
The chilling details of the murder of Ashley Ellerin
and the Hollywood Ripper trial.
In February, 2001, Ashton Kutcher arrived
to pick Ellerin up for a date,
but she didn't answer the door
because she had already been stabbed
to death by accused serial killer
Michael Gargiulo.
She's dead. She's lying
on the floor. He comes in, like, trying to high-five her
like it's punked.
Faced! Faced!
You just got faced!
Did your mom share? Everyone you love is here.
Flips her coffin over At the funeral
She's got a fucking pug
Look at her
Look at her wiggle around
She's lifeless
Look at her wiggle around
She's fucking lifeless
He's just
Dying
Oh man
We are really bad people
Dax Jordan's just
T-bagging the cops
Learned Elrond had been murdered
He reached out to police
Dax Shepard
I knew who you meant though
Beat it
Get out of here
You came back, you had one good episode
You're out
Oh man, anyway Let's watch a Aparna non-Charla breakdown Oh, man.
Anyway, let's watch a parna non-Charla breakdown.
No one gets that reference.
I did.
He put his hand on the doorknob while trying to open the front door.
My fingerprints are on this door, and I was freaking out.
I told an officer, let me tell you what happened.
As for Mila, Chrissy writes, writes dear mila i pray you begin to
process what you experienced as a child on that set your older interviews are very tell so yeah
so i don't know if you guys saw also on top of ashton murdering that woman um 15 years later
now with the masterson case he came out with mila and they both they both wrote you know they both
wrote letters we talked about this last week they both both wrote letters trying to get Masterson off.
Then those letters became public.
The next day, Masterson and Mila had to
make apology videos.
Ashton.
Did I say Masterson?
Why don't you get out of here?
Why would he do that?
Bye!
John, take the sticks.
Well, Masterson should have fucking been free enough to do that.
But yeah, no.
So they had to apologize for writing letters trying to get Masterson off.
Oh, there he is.
And they're in hot water for that.
The craziest part of that, because I saw that last ep, but I didn't realize what actually happened.
of that, because I saw that last ep, but I didn't realize what actually
happened. I thought maybe they were
out of the loop, and they didn't know
what Masterson was being
accused of, or what the evidence was.
But the letter actually, like, their letter
said, like, hey, we know
what he's been accused of.
They go, even if he's guilty, I don't
find him to be a threat right now.
And he's got a daughter. Well, their whole point
was they're like, he's not, he doesn't do drugs.
Right.
They're like, who amongst us hasn't raped a couple people?
I mean, that's Hollywood, baby.
Patrick's like, I mean, I killed a lady in 06.
I mean, who are you, judge?
He goes, I killed some lady and then we blamed it on like a Kill Tony contestant.
I threw her off the balcony,
and I said,
listen, I said it was Tony Inchcliffe.
I don't know.
All right, let's see.
I encourage everyone to watch them
and decide for yourself what you hear and see.
Do so before they get scrubbed from the internet.
I also know what happened in Toronto and after.
Question, if that's what you view
as a normal relationship with a big brother figure,
then I feel very sad for you, and I hope you consider getting into therapy. You almost forget
I was there the whole time those first five years of that 70s show. I remember everything. She then
reposted this tweet where it says Ashton and Danny always treated Topher badly. Topher has never liked
Danny. I learned this while doing my early reporting on the then allegations now conviction
against Danny. She added to that by saying Topfer was bullied by danny masterson and isolated by
apparently apparently the cast of that 70s show was like a clockwork orange yeah like they were
breaking into homes like hanging out breaking windows on the street. Like walking into rooms and just grabbing housewives
and just torturing people, caning people.
Just go up to an old lady and be like,
I'm going to shove my foot up your ass.
What if we found out that Masters had been raping Red
from that Sunday show the entire time?
I need like a foot up your ass, Red?
And he never admitted it to it because he's like, you know, he's too proud.
He's a proud old man.
Red and the mom, they both wrote letters too.
Did they really?
So literally the whole cast besides Topher is like rape apologists.
Yeah.
Like us.
Not you.
Yeah.
But the rest of us here.
Hey, I just love his work.
You love Masterson's acting.
You think he's one of the finest actors of our time.
We got that 70s show, The Ranch, Yes Man.
I mean, this guy's resume.
Dude.
I mean, name a better actor.
It's hard to deny.
What is Yes Man?
He was in Yes Man?
Yeah.
What are you playing Yes Man?
He's one of his best friends.
He played a rapist in Face Off.
Danny Masters is not in Face Off.
He tries to rape John Travolta's daughter,
and John Travolta beats his ass in his driveway.
Yeah, it's true.
Are you serious?
Yes.
It's a cameo.
It's not a cameo.
But he plays a rapist.
He's trying to rape his daughter in the driveway.
When did Face Off come out?
Like the 90s?
Yeah, that's it.
I would guess 99 or 98.
Okay, when a guy's not famous, you can't claim it's a cameo.
Well, it has lines and shit.
Yeah, but a cameo means the guy's already famous.
He had a small role.
Small role.
He was also in the sequel to Yes Man.
It means no means yes.
Very good.
He's back.
Yeah, you can stay. You can stay. I'll stay. Ha ha ha ha! Yes! He's back! Yeah!
You can stay.
You can stay.
I'll stay.
Kersaw Masterson used the curse, by the way.
He goes, hey, can I have sex with you?
He's like, yes.
That whole movie is just Jim Carrey getting fucked by Masterson.
He just keeps exploiting the curse.
Can I fuck you? Can I fuck you again?
Oh, yes!
Can we do anal tonight?
Yes.
Oh, man.
Most of the cast because Danny's like a cult leader.
Danny hated Topher because...
Love it.
Here's the thing.
We like...
Cult leaders kick ass.
And if you get sucked into a cult, you're a huge reader.
You deserve it.
You deserve it.
I don't care about any of these stories. These people that go like, you're a huge retard. You deserve it. You deserve it. I don't care about any of these stories of these people that go,
you're a moron.
You know what you're doing.
You don't get to make a two-hour documentary on HBO about how you're a retard now.
Have some accountability.
That's why Waco kind of kicks ass.
In that doc, a lot of the guys come back and they're like,
we miss Koresh.
It was a great cult.
Yeah, they're right or not.
They're all very smart people.
Oh, yeah.
It's true.
They're like biblical scholars and shit. No, they were. Yeah, they were right or not. They're all very smart people. Oh, yeah. It's true. They're like biblical scholars and shit.
No, they were.
Yeah, they were.
They were smart-ass people. They were actually smart people?
Yeah.
They were like geniuses falling correct.
Yeah, they liked...
I mean, clearly not.
No, not smart.
Yeah, you know.
No, but like, you know, let them be.
Yeah.
Why did we interrupt that?
So, let's get on to Koresh for a second.
Why did we have to bother him?
Don't get me started.
And what he was doing.
I mean, they had,
listen, that's like
some of the best real estate
I've seen.
You know, I mean,
in this world.
Have you been to Waco?
The ranch?
I've driven through it.
I've driven through it.
When did you drive through it?
I don't know.
From Dallas or whatever.
And, you know,
it sucks ass,
but like,
that's like good real estate.
It was a beautiful plot of land from the video that I've seen.
From the videos I've seen.
It's beautiful.
It's huge.
It's a cool-ass building.
In my opinion, if you decide to live out there in a place like that, you're allowed to stockpile
ammunition.
And people.
And explosives.
And people.
Yeah.
He was allowed.
I've seen the Netflix show.
Those kids, they're getting taught.
They're doing their ABCs and shit.
And the moms are doing what they're supposed to.
The documentary series or the actual show?
The actual show on Netflix.
It's so good.
Dude, it's really good.
Who's in it?
Is that Michael Shannon?
Michael Shannon.
No, Michael Shannon is like...
Giovanni Ribisi.
Shannon, Taylor Kitsch, the guy that is in Boardwalk Empire,
the brother of Nucky.
He's a great actor.
The second season is so good.
There's a bunch of great actors.
I haven't watched the second season.
Good for Kitsch, man.
That's a cursed actor.
I know.
He's done really good stuff.
Oh, in that fucking movie where he's a superhero.
I like John Carter.
I like John Carter.
I thought it was a solid sci-fi movie.
I thought it was a solid sci-fi movie.
I was like, it's fine.
It's terrible, but I liked it too, John.
It's bad, but I liked it too.
It was box office poison.
That ruined his career.
It's Disney's biggest flop of all time.
It's a terrible film.
It cost so much money, it did nothing.
That ruined his career, but
and then True Detective.
And then that movie Savages, the Oliver Stone movie.
I actually liked Savages too.
You're just a kitsch guy.
That's one of the worst movies I've ever seen. Taylor Kitsch's
best thing is... They're all fucking the same chick, and they're
fucking weed kingpins. That's a great movie.
Taylor Kitsch's best thing was...
I'm 14. That's my favorite movie.
Joey's drawing
the S, the graffiti S,
right now, and he's like, I love Savages.
I like bad movies. I'm not saying it's an actually good movie, but it was a fun, dumb movie.
Sure, sure, sure.
Taylor Kitsch's best role was Riggins in Friday Night Lights, the NBC show.
I actually haven't seen that.
He's fucking incredible in it.
He's like the star of the whole thing.
I'm gonna watch.
Besides, of course, Kyle Chandler, who I want to be my father.
You've always wanted him to be your dad.
I love Kyle Chandler, and I've never wanted anyone more to raise me. You've always said that. I want to be my father. You've always wanted him to be your dad. I love Kyle Chandler,
and I've never wanted anyone more to raise me.
You've always said that.
I want to raise me now.
He's got smiley eyes.
He's the kindest eyes I've ever seen.
Just such a man.
A sparkly behavior.
Such a beautiful man.
Imagine him driving his F-150 home.
Having a heart attack.
Barbecuing some fucking steaks in the back.
He tells you about respect.
Catching Jordan Belfort.
Oh, my God. Give me that. It's just about respect. Catching Jordan Belfort. Oh my god.
It's just so sweet.
You've told me privately that you think if there's one
person on earth who's never committed a sin
It's Kyle Chandler.
I've said this before. If anything
happens to Kyle, if we ever find out
Kyle Chandler or Keanu Reeves ever
did anything bad, we should all kill ourselves.
I do feel similarly about Paul Rudd.
And Paul Rudd?
Yeah, that's a good addition.
That's a good addition.
I have three guys that are so pure.
I have a new guy.
Add another.
Patrick J. Pespis.
Who's the telemarketer?
Who the fuck is that?
Oh, Pat.
If they try to cancel my book, I'll hit Pat.
Oh, dude, I love that fucking guy.
If they try to cancel Pat, I'll fucking...
Everyone check out Telemarketers on HBO.
That's the guy with the mustache, right?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
He was on an ad.
Former heroin addict.
The greatest man of all time.
Sweetest man ever.
I haven't seen it.
I need to watch it.
Oh, Joey, it's literally about your favorite people.
Him driving with his wife.
I've heard amazing things.
I'm going to watch.
Next thing I watch.
So good.
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It's not some bullshit you get at Vons.
It's like full of, you know, it's not full of steroids.
It's not the goddamn horseshit my wife makes.
Oh, my God.
Thank you, Connor.
It's not that crap your wife makes, which is full of shit.
Factor needs a disgruntled husband to do an ad.
Like my stupid bitch wife.
It's no longer full of that.
I was about to divorce that fat cow until Factor.
I haven't even eaten the same room as her anymore,
you stupid bitch.
Factor meal kits, folks.
They are very good.
I honestly, this is a personal endorsement.
I'm so fucking convinced.
Factor, cancel this ad, please.
Joey, how many times do we have to go through this?
I'm just saying, if I were Factor, I would say no more of that.
Because you don't sound convincing.
You just did it.
They would say no more of you.
They would say, hey, at least somebody cares on this thing.
No, they wouldn't.
Give your Factor ad, dude.
Okay, here's, let me do mine.
No, personal endorsement.
Factor is actually an amazing product.
Yeah, they are. i used to spend so much
money getting postmates fifty dollars a meal and it was just so easy and then at the end of the
month i would look at my bank and i fucking spent eight thousand dollars on food yeah that is true
you that actually is a thing absolutely yeah and then when i got factor i suddenly i've got all
this extra money i I'm way healthier.
I'm getting fucking jacked.
I'm stronger.
Because of Factor. I'm losing weight.
And yeah, it's like,
it literally gave me a million benefits.
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I have to read it, scumbag!
It didn't sound that premium to me.
Well, that's what I'm reading! Asparagus is good!
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We all love Factor.
Yeah, love it.
We all use it.
Connor has had it.
We had it.
I'm obsessed with it.
Out in New York.
Yeah.
Chris and Tommy gave us some.
Sure.
They are unbelievable, those meals.
I'm not kidding.
Truly.
And I lie all the time.
I am not kidding truly and I lie all the time I am not lying
they were the best
meals I've ever had
that were prepackaged
in my entire life
I agree
they were shockingly good
like shockingly good
so tasty
so delicious
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so erotic
wow
Factor
alright
thank you Factor
I'm just busting my pants
Jesus
it's about kind of like back when you used to run a Filipino call center.
No.
I mean...
Can we talk about this for a second?
Absolutely.
I love this era.
You know, this is one of my favorite eras of the great Joey LaFleur.
Literally, one of the greatest men to ever walk the face of the earth, Joseph LaFleur.
Amen. One of the greatest men to ever walk the face of the earth, Joseph LeFleur. And when I first met him, he was running a community of Filipino people
and would outsource work to them from his job, which was corrupt.
He had a corrupt job.
Bribed them with iPhones.
It wasn't illegal or anything.
It was gray area, though.
It was gray area, yeah.
Yeah.
You were the gray man.
So Joey ran all these, like, Filipino guys, like, named Balal and, you know.
Mostly women or trans.
What?
Women.
Well, yeah, that's what happens in all those communities.
You just knew they were trans?
Everyone's, like, trans.
You could just tell.
Yeah.
Yeah.
But, Joey, explain your job.
So, yeah, we had a call center, and this is now over 10 years ago, so I'll just give full details.
It was a company that was sort of a high-tech loan shark that was exploiting payday loans via this new technology that came out.
And then we figured out a way to use call centers to monetize all of these payday loan leads.
People who want to pay loans.
Let's have Filipinos call them and sell them other shit, basically.
And then so we started.
So my boss was like, Joey, like, go find five people to work at this call center and then train them, write a script for them.
And then they have to sell this product.
And he told me the product.
And so I was like, all right. I went. I i just like looked up like what's the cheapest way to do
it it was filipinos you could pay him a dollar and 78 cents per hour fuck yeah wow so a lot so
joey can i have a job please
and so i i would even say that i'd be like that's a ton of money over there
For them
They're rich over there
That's like 17 ketchup sandwiches
That's like 4 syrup spaghettis
Fucking Filipino people and their diets
Unbelievable
Unbelievable
You order a fried rice at a Filipino restaurant
and you're like,
is this Skittles?
Like, what the fuck
is this?
No, Filipino people
eat like Buddy the Elf.
It's unbelievable.
I've said that for years.
It's so funny
that you said that.
I've said that for so long.
They literally eat
like they're an elf.
Yeah.
But they also mix in
like the fetus of a chicken.
Yes.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That's the grossest.
And like where like a leg is popping out of the shell.
Yeah, yeah, there's a little skeleton in the fetal position.
And it's moving.
Yeah.
But so anyways, this little operation took off with these first five Filipinos.
It started making like $5,000 a day.
And then, you know,
for the whole company,
it wasn't me,
it wasn't my money.
But so he's like,
well, we got to grow it,
like hire more Filipinos.
And then by the end of it,
I had 50 Filipinos
that were all working for me.
Fuck yeah, dude.
And so I would sit there
and like, I'd have to be like,
I'd have to yell at him and stuff.
Right.
Be like, you know,
Rose Ramon, what are you doing?
Your numbers are way down.
Rose Ramone.
And I'm just getting like hammered and just like yelling at them.
And they're like, this crazy American white man is mean.
And then I'd be like, I'd be like, I got to chill to my boss.
And he's like, fuck, why?
Like, no, you can't chill.
Like, this thing is doing Iron Man numbers.
And then pretty soon I was like, he goes like,
why aren't they working on weekends?
And I'm like, that's a good question.
I don't, yeah, they're working on weekends now.
So I'm like, hey, guys, now you're working on weekends.
And they were just like, oh, Mr. Joey.
They would call me Mr. Joey.
Mr. Joey, yeah, yeah, yeah.
They'd call him Mr. Joey.
I'm so sorry.
I don't know.
I'm like, well, either you're working on
weekends or we're going to find other Filipinos
that can do it.
There's a lot of land in the Philippines.
Yeah, yeah. So then after I had like
50 of them, I got one, a new
Filipino. I'm like, you're managing all 50.
Like, you're doing my job, basically.
And then I'm like, and then
I became the sicko,
where I was like, no breaks, weekends, 18 hours a day.
And she...
He's a fucking crazy dude.
Slumlord, yeah, it's insane.
No, no.
He's a horrible person.
I was like 21.
Joey was fighting for his life.
He was trying to get involved in an industry.
I wasn't a bad guy.
I was young.
It was sick. It was sicko
behavior. No, you
don't like this period of your life.
I love that. It was my favorite period.
No, no, no, Joey. You did not
like it. No, no. Come on, Joey. We're trying
to get this on Disney. Yeah.
Yeah, yeah. No, I have
nostalgia and it was so much fun.
But I admit that it was sick and possibly immoral.
But it was just fun.
But then so with the new Filipino managing the other Filipinos,
they started cannibalizing each other because now there's jealousy.
Oh, man.
Where it's like, why is one of us our boss?
Like at least have a white guy being our boss.
Interesting.
They didn't like that.
They didn't respect their own.
They used the colonial stuff.
They fucking wanted to kill her.
Yeah.
They wanted to kill her.
And then, like, the hours kept getting more and more,
and they were like, they go, like, one of them's, or no.
So then the Filipino managing them came to me,
and she felt terrible.
She's like, I'm a race traitor.
Right. She said that. No said that. That's a subject
headline of the email.
I'm a race trader.
Mr. Joey, I have realized that I'm a
race trader. She's just looking
in a mirror at night being like, am I
white?
Who am I?
I feel so powerful.
Digital colonialism.
Yeah, this is great.
But then, so at some point,
her conscience came in.
Oh, I hate those.
And then, you know, and I...
Enough of those.
Enough of that thing.
And I had buried mine a long time ago.
I was,
I was just like,
I serve at your lead.
But you could,
you could feel the fingers coming out of the soil here and there.
Absolutely.
No,
no,
no.
And I would just be like,
nope,
I'm not the monster.
She is,
which is what my boss was doing to me.
So you kind of just pass the conscience down the chain.
Right,
right,
right.
Your job was literally a gypsy
curse.
Now you have it.
Yeah, no, it's like the last person you
touch.
But then, so, like, at some point she came to me and she was
like, Mr. Joey, their voices
are going to be destroyed, their voice boxes.
They can't keep talking this much
on the phone. Oh, that's so sad, dude.
Holy fuck. Oh my god. Oh my god. And sad, dude. Holy fuck. Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
And then I told...
They were like being forced to perform like Selena or something.
You're like, hire more tea.
But that's what I told the owner.
I'm like, hey, she's saying their voices are going to get blown out.
Their voice boxes or vocal cords are going to be damaged
by the amount that we're making them work.
And he goes,
here's what we'll do. Go send him a
smartphone. And I was like,
what? He goes, Filipinos love smartphones.
And so a smartphone is like an Android
phone over there. Right.
And so they can go on to the internet with
it and like check their Facebook.
But, you know, an $80 smartphone in the Philippines is like a million so they can go on to the internet with it and check their Facebook.
An $80 smartphone in the Philippines is like a million dollars.
So if you give them a smartphone,
he's like, they're ours forever.
Wow.
So then what?
Man.
This is so fucked up.
Oh, man.
This is horrible.
It gets worse.
It gets more sadistic.
It gets even sicker.
They're like, Joey, give them water.
That's gold out there.
Joey, listen.
Water's for closers.
Your boss goes, feed them.
Welcome crawling back.
On a full stomach, people do amazing things.
So here's the sickest part.
Here's the sickest part, and I have video of this somewhere.
We send them the smartphone, or we gave like their manager money to go buy them a smartphone.
Yeah.
And then, this is like Wolf of Wall Street sicko stuff.
We're like, I want you to film them
receiving the smartphone
and I want you to do
an award ceremony
and I want you to play
Father John Misty music
in the background
and when she receives the phone,
I want everybody to clap
and then I want her
to give a speech
about how thankful she is.
Are you serious?
They all got one phone?
Your boss made you do that?
No, no, only the top earner got a phone.
Oh, dude.
It was so sick.
It was sick.
That's crazy.
Humans are capable of evil.
Humans.
I am capable of evil.
Oh, John, you would have been brutal.
John would have been spit-roasted.
I'm going to give Joey a pass here
because Joey was trying to just, like,
be able to sustain
himself on his own.
You didn't have a degree.
You were in a brutal atmosphere.
Oh, no, no.
I dropped out of college to play internet poker, which was instantly outlawed.
And then my friend was like, hey, come work for me.
And I was like, what, am I going to live in my fucking mom's basement?
Or I could torture Filipinos.
And it's like, hey, you don't see them.
They're not even people. I have the see them. They're not even people.
I have the video somewhere.
They're not around here.
The award ceremony.
The award ceremony?
Jesus Christ, it sounds like the Webbys or something.
Or the fucking, you know, these weird award shows.
What do you choose?
The Razzies.
The Razzies.
The Peedos lady filming her friends in a dirty call center.
It's way worse than any Razzies.
Well, they're willing to do it to each
other, so it's really not your fault.
That's what I used to say to them.
I'm like, hey, listen, that's the economy
there. Hey, great minds.
Great minds, you and I.
One of my favorite moments was when Joey
got our friend, I'm not going to say his name
for fear of him not wanting that to
happen, but he got our friend a job.
He was moving to New York and he needed a job really quickly.
He's a great comedian, but we won't say his name.
Incredible comedian.
I won't say his name.
We'll say his name another time when it's about his comedy.
On the Patriot.
Not him indulging.
The best comedian I've ever seen, but we'll say his name another time.
Well, I don't want to say his name because he was a part of your sick, sick world.
By the way, I left the company.
He stayed for like five more years.
Yeah, no, he's a morally corrupt
maniac.
He's one of the best guys ever, and look how
easily corruptible. No, he's actually the nicest person
of all time. That's my point about humanity.
The best guy ever. Easily corruptible.
Easily corruptible. Yeah. Well, he did a course
correct. Now he's teaching
English to immigrants.
He's now teaching Filipinos.
He's got like a life debt to Filipinos
where he's just like, let me...
Just like an Asian woman named Sigrid
walks in the door at his class and the Kill Bill
music starts playing.
So Joey was...
This guy, our friend, was
needing a job quick.
And Joey's like, I have a job where I work from home.
I think I might be able to get you a job.
And it would make everything really easy for you.
You could just work from home when you get to New York and shit.
And the guy's like, okay, yeah.
And Joey gets him the training process and all this.
And he's about to get it.
And I remember we're at an open mic.
And he's about to accept it.
And he goes, okay, but wait, like, Joey, like, how illegal is this?
And Joey goes, Joey's like holding the beer.
He's like half hammered.
We're at this stupid open mic.
We don't want to be.
And Joey goes, here's the thing.
It's like basically like if they raid anybody, they'll raid our bosses first.
So then we have time to stop doing it.
Right.
And then we'll be fine. Well then the boss keeps all the money and so yeah like we weren't ever going to be at risk one of the funniest things i know
it didn't it didn't come across on the show right now funny but like one of the funniest things i've
ever witnessed was you telling him like is the thing other people will get raided before us. And then we have time to
throw our laptops in the dumpster
and microwave
all of
our evidence and
nothing will happen to us. We might get a
knock on the door. Hey, maybe they'll break
it down in the middle of the night.
We're not going to jail.
Our bosses will go to jail.
You're shoving the newspaper
in the toaster like Jason Horn
turning the gas on.
What a time.
I guess should we finish
the Masters?
I didn't bow to Danny like his other young castmates.
I loved Topher. If I
so much as said hi to Topher, I would be given
a scolding and then ignored by Danny
It broke my heart. He was the only guy on that set with integrity and a moral compass. That's my experience
I was there. Well, she's not the only one speaking up because Topher Grace's wife also posted to her story
Oh shit!
Every grape victim that is re-
Enough of the grape. Okay. Yeah. Show some respect for what happened.
It actually is.
Yeah, it's disrespectful.
It's disrespectful.
It's like annoying.
Yeah.
...traumatized by witnessing society debate and focus their attention on what is going
to happen to the grapest, I see you.
And it turns out there were more cast members from that 70s show who also wrote support
letters for Danny Masterson.
And that would be the actors who played...
I love them.
Like, in World War II, we raped each other two by two.
You kidding me?
These numbers are low.
It's a bullshit number.
We used to rape crowds by the day.
I used to rape guys like you and stack them up like sandbags.
Kitty and Red Foreman.
Yeah, well, you know.
Ashton's a murderer.
And that's all we needed to know.
This is a really funny video, and it's
once again, we're just moving right on.
So this is just a
baseball game. I don't know
how serious it is. I don't know what like, what the meaning of this baseball game is.
But this, so they hired ball boys, right?
For the.
They fetch foul balls and shit.
The Marlins.
It was the Florida Marlins.
So the ball boys are all like, you know, they're all like Florida Project characters and shit.
Yeah.
And apparently the Marlins just hire anybody.
And this guy, the ball is fair.
Connor, you understand this, right?
Fair.
Everybody knows fair and foul in baseball.
Well, John, do you understand that?
That means it's good.
It's not like...
Yeah.
I guess it's self-explanatory.
Yeah.
So the ball is fair.
It's in play.
And the ball boy thinks it's foul.
And he just grabs it and he throws it into the crowd.
And, you know, lets like two runs happen because of his mistake.
And he doesn't work.
You're not ever supposed to make a mistake.
It's like the guy that sweeps up the court in NBA games,
like ruining game seven.
Yeah, so watch this.
It's pretty amazing.
Fair ball.
The Dodgers
Mookie Betts
Run around the bases
This guy just goes
Hey
He's so clueless
He completely clues
And then this is
The favorite part
He sits down
And they explain to him
What he just did
They're like
That was a fair ball
And he spits
The sunflower seed
Into the thing
And goes
No
He's like
What do you want from me He's, He's like, what do you want from me?
He's like,
I work at Lids.
He's like, what the fuck do you want from me, bro?
He's like, I sell hats at the mall.
He's like, I don't know why they hired me.
This shit is cool.
I was on the field.
This guy kicks ass.
Look at him.
Look at this bad Santa character.
He must be deaf
The crowd is going nuts
Oh they're booing him
He's got incredible focus
To be like
I don't care
He's like I got real problems
That's how I would react also though
Yeah yeah
I don't fucking
He goes
You guys hired me
I'd be like
You guys like baseball?
This game sucks
It like never ends
Incredible stuff Incredible stuff.
Incredible stuff.
This is interesting.
An Instagram influencer
called Child Protective Services
on her ex-boyfriend
and lied about him abusing his kids.
He was taken to jail.
It's all a lie.
Then she admits it on a podcast.
That's the people.
She's getting huge trouble for that.
Yeah, well, we can only hope.
We could tell people her info after this video plays.
But yeah, she admitted on camera to a heinous crime.
But I mean, God, look at those tits.
Let her be.
She can say whatever she wants.
Hey, she's innocent.
I called child services on this one.
I called child services on my ex because he pissed me off.
And then I was like, yeah, I'm done with this person, whatever.
Like, you know, cheater, fucking piece of shit.
That's amazing.
Isn't that amazing right there?
We're not even finished with the video, but isn't that incredible?
To just be so casual and so dumb about about what you're saying out loud on video.
I'm almost just jealous.
I know.
Me too.
Of being that dumb.
I know.
Me too.
There's not a care in her mind.
It's the lack of empathy, too.
It's really creepy.
Yeah, but empathy takes emotional intelligence.
It's like, yeah, she's just so dumb that she doesn't understand how evil she is.
Yeah, she's like Herman G that she doesn't understand how evil she is yeah she's like
herman goring but with like big tits she thought her falsely accusing a guy of being uh you know
of calling child services on a man that she just like was like annoyed at she thought it was the
same as like bart simpson calling a guy i mean like is your refrigerator running she thinks it's
a wacky prank yeah you know You know, and it's like,
I really hope something happens.
Lies about dumb shit.
He had kids.
Yeah, her life.
I called child services
on his ass
and I like
fabricated everything
and like censored.
By the way,
I'm going to give her credit.
I can't believe she knew
what the word fabricated meant.
Yeah.
She's like,
I like laundry detergented his ass.
I like totally Febreze his ass.
And they like went to the door and like there was a whole process.
Like, I don't even know if the children's aid worker still visits them, but she probably
does because what I said, like the way I AI'd that shit, you know, like real AI.
Like a gimp mask, like checking the levels on the podcast. I mean, it's like they're doing like the way i ai'd that shit you know like real ai like a gimp mask like like
checking the levels on the podcast i mean it's like they're doing like the pulp fiction podcast
it's unbelievable but it's also amazing the lack of of awareness she has on like what the effect
was on children yeah like children now don't have a father yeah yeah yeah like well she didn't have
a father and she's she's like and it's like funny because like the same thing happened to me when i was a kid it's like the world goes round and round it's like things come back to you like the same way
they happen to you and it's like fucking funny like to me you know like like it's funny like
those kids like they'll be sucking dick and getting fake tits like in a year like they're
like eight but like if they get some fake tits like they could do what i do the interviewer's like are you ever afraid of like going to hell maybe she's like stupid like
you're stupid he's like my hair's already red like that's like i like fight back against hell
every day with my red hair already he's like i'm already the fucking devil bitch like
shit like fake bruises type shit
hilarious
be careful fellas
what the fuck
what the fuck
what a reveal
that guy
in the get mask
be careful fellas
where is he
look at that guy
oh my god
this is filmed
in the parking garage
from 8mm
at the machine
fake bruises
you fake shit and then you just made like an exaggeration
story on his
story
these are the type of people that online they write his
instead of he's they go he's an idiot
the H-I-S
those people
yeah then they came
and they were like oh like
this is sort of best western like what's going on you know you could lose your kids
and i was just like that sucks
what is going on in this room i mean they're the most they're it's almost it's you know it's almost it's charming you're so evil
you're retarded
it's really that
you're so retarded you're evil
you're so retarded yeah
Lenny for my sin man
yeah
you're sort of like killing
because you don't know what's wrong
exactly she doesn't understand
this isn't like a silly thing to do to somebody.
You've ruined multiple lives here.
She thinks she's TPing a house
and the guy is like in prison now
and he can't see his kids.
It's crazy.
We should,
could you text me her name by the way?
Yeah.
Let's go to the comments.
She's like,
one time I did this prank on a guy,
you know,
tabletopping when you like go be,
so my friend went behind this guy and then I pulled out a shotgun and I shot him prank on a guy. You know tabletopping when you go be... So my friend went behind this guy
and then I pulled out a shotgun
and I shot him square in the face.
Like classic tabletop shit.
So we pantsed this guy in gym class.
We pulled his pants down
and then we stabbed him to death.
It was crazy. They say he ceased to live
Basically like technically like live six feet under he's like a rock now with his name. We call him we call him
Soil SpongeBob
because he like lives
in the dirt under the sea.
You know what?
We've done a lot of good work here
but I think we need to
give the people more.
I think we should wrap it up
with a body cam.
Yes.
I love body cam.
Because these always allow for
you know,
none of us have to get into personal stories.
None of us have to distract from the
brilliance of the, because you know, I've already
said last week, it's like, it's amazing the bevy
of info that this world gives us.
It's just unbelievable. Every single
week, every single month,
every single day, every single
hour, every single minute, people out
there are the biggest retards you can
imagine. I'm so excited. And all they do
is give us info. And they film it all.
They all film it.
I've got chills going down my spine right now.
What a speech, right?
I love that. I feel like I'm watching
the old MGM
or like a Miramax
preview screen. That felt like when you
go to old Regal Cinemas and you get in the
rollercoaster.
The popcorn's popping.
Exactly.
Somebody should play Friday Night Lights music behind that.
Like, do-do-do-do-do-do.
Do-do-do-do-do-do.
Do-do-do-do-do-do.
I wonder if I've already seen this
because I watch so much of this for fun by myself.
An entitled daughter loses it when finally told no.
There we go.
So this is like the Danny Masterson.
I haven't seen this.
I love this.
Have you seen this?
Yeah, it's amazing.
It's pretty good, right, Joey?
It's very, very good.
You and I, man.
I love you to death.
Here we go.
Police were called about a daughter refusing to leave her father's car.
My daughter's in it.
She refuses to get out, and I want to get my car back, please.
So there's just a woman sitting in a Camry
and this man is like, get her out of here.
She's got a lot of problems.
This is my dad.
I don't know exactly what's going on,
but he has to keep the car.
So I'm just waiting on him to get out of the building.
You're waiting on him to what?
To get out of the building.
To come drive the car.
He just parked us here, so I don't know. Yeah, but you know he doesn't have to drive you anywhere,
but it's his car.
He doesn't have to take you anywhere if he doesn't want to.
I understand.
Well, he already took me here, so.
I love the vocal fry even between the cop and her.
It's like they're both like, we should do a podcast.
You guys want to do like Red Scared-er?
We should talk about our craziest blowjob.
PWJOI.
I love when women are trying to act calm
when they're infuriated.
Yeah, you're right.
I'm letting you know, but that's how that works.
Okay, well, I'm going to be sitting here.
So, whenever he's ready.
Yeah, this is a civilized conversation.
To the untrained ear, this is a civilized conversation.
You ever, like, talked to a woman before?
You know right now that they're basically screaming at each other.
This is the war game scene in Moonraker right now between two women.
Yeah, I mean, the girl doesn't understand she's still living off of the idea that she's like i'm just a woman trying
to get driven home by my my father yeah and she thinks like that's like legally like okay and it's
like if the dad doesn't want to drive you anywhere he's like you have to get out of the car now
well they throw me here he drove me here so he has to drive me somewhere else they make the rule
they have rules in their head that subvert law.
They go in cars like,
I'm about to call
like Child Protective Services.
And the cop's like,
oh my God,
one time I did that to a guy.
I think he might be having
some sort of like
early dementia or something,
but he is not
watching what's next.
Imagine if the cop fell for that.
We were just going to go
to Starbucks
he's like, I heard you're demented
I'm looking for something new, does he have a package somewhere?
he had me bring her down here, I got her a couple
of gift cards because she doesn't have a job
he did, well he just got me a gift card
she's supposed to be in a rehab facility, but somehow
managed to get kicked out
the dad is like, she's supposed to be in a rehab
facility, but somehow she got out
and this and that, man I bet this is in, what do you guys think this is? I feel supposed to be in a rehab facility but somehow she got out and this and that
man
I bet this is in
what do you guys think this is
I feel like this is in like
DC
this feels like Maryland
I look at the palm trees
I'm thinking like
the Carolinas
the palm trees don't make sense
are those palm trees
it's probably the Carolinas
the Carolinas
somewhere in the south
it's probably the Carolinas
those aren't palm trees are they
those are
yeah in the back
yeah in the very back
I think it's Florida
could be Florida.
Probably Florida.
Zoom in on that license plate.
You can probably tell.
Zoom.
Go back.
Actually, yeah, we have to investigate now.
Doesn't it?
There we go.
Oh, we won't be able to tell.
Look at that palm tree.
Go back to the license plate.
And the dad is the weirdest black guy I've ever seen.
We'll know eventually.
Yeah, we'll figure it out.
All right, back to this.
And showed up back at the car.
So I felt sorry for her.
My mistake.
Gave her more money.
Gave her more things to do.
Took her here so she could get food.
Not only did she not get food, she refused to get out of the car.
And now she refuses to get out of it at all.
I'm just trying to spend the day with him.
I'm sorry, I'll go.
She's trying to be a good daughter.
She's like, yeah, so I fucked his brother and he got all pissed.
My dad.
I fucked my uncle and now my dad's all pissed.
She's like, Mammon, what's your name?
She goes, Amanda Bynes.
I'm Amanda Bynes.
She's all that. Ever heard of it? Retard. Humamanda Bimes.
She's all that.
Ever heard of it?
Retard.
Where I live normally.
I'm not trying to live in this car.
You know what I mean?
Yeah, but you're not trying to get out of this car.
Correct. Which right now you're breaking the law
because it's not your car.
So you're trespassing.
So I go on Ubers.
Okay.
With the permission of the person.
That's another thing real quick I want to get into. There's so many videos of people that refuse to get out on Ubers. Okay. With the permission of the person. That's another thing real quick I want to get into.
There's so many videos of people that refuse to get out of Ubers,
and they don't understand that when the ride ends,
they're now committing trespassing and shit.
It's insane what people do.
You know, I guess that's a part of the gig economy.
People aren't sure of the rules behind everything,
because they're like, well, you have a company behind you.
It's like the minute they turn off their app,
no company.
That's his car.
It's his car now.
It's just amazing what people think
they're allowed to get away with nowadays,
especially this entitled whore.
This car, you're trespassing in his...
Okay, so we can play this game,
but you're going to get arrested.
I mean, that's literally how it's going to be, or you could just step out of the car.
Like, I'm not trying to be mean to you, but I'm trying to explain something to you.
I love this, dude.
This is like a literally versus basically.
I'm basically just trying to spend a good day with my dad.
And she goes, well, literally, you're committing a crime.
And she goes, well, technically, he's my dad.
And then she goes, well, basically, you're going to jail.
The dad just blows his brains out.
The dad kills himself.
But like, physically, you're in this car.
But like, mentally, I'm going to Starbucks with my dad.
This is the war of the adverbs.
Listen, you explained it to me, but I would like to shut my door down
I'm not doing that
It's not your door
It's not your car
That's so funny
She thinks that's gonna work somehow
It's so funny
They have their own rules
Well here's the thing
Well yeah she's a woman
So of course
Yeah they're retarded
It's the unchecked power of sass
Yeah
And now it's like an
It's an unstoppable object
You know meets like an immovable force
No it's like a woman is telling the cop,
you didn't clean the sink.
And the cop's like, I'm the police.
I'll fucking take you to jail.
You don't get to pull that shit with me.
I'm the chief of police.
You didn't take out the cans last night.
And the cop's like, I'm not in your house.
I'm not a garbage man.
Well, I went through your phone last night.
Yeah, man. It's one of
those things where she keeps, this
girl keeps being like, yeah, but it's between me
and my father. She doesn't understand the
dad is like so over the relationship.
He's about to press charges.
I'll press charges on you. And the police
have nothing to do with like their relationship.
They don't give a shit
John
How are you the only person that doesn't drink booze
And has to pee all the time
Look at what I've drank
I'll be back in 30 seconds
Do you have prostate cancer?
No it's been bad lately though
It's not bad you drank a nitro cold brew of Gatorade
And a Fiji water
You drink so much
I would have been back
You need to drink booze
You need to drink booze. So it's like 15 minutes.
You need to drink booze.
Okay, go to the bathroom.
I'm going to pee.
Can we figure it out?
What is this fucking business?
What's going on?
By the way, hold on.
Show the people what you look like again real quick.
Look at that.
Look at that.
Is that on my pizza box?
That's a beautiful look.
Look at him.
He looks like he runs a Mario's Pizza.
God, I hate that guy.
You know, that guy
has been on thin ice for weeks.
What is this?
I pay for premium,
cocksucker.
Sorry, folks.
You always do this.
No, it says we're on.
No, no, no.
It says we're on my account, no, no, no, no, no, no. It says
we're on my account. On September 18th, 2022.
I would like to apologize to you,
Connor. Usually we run a tighter
ship. You came from New York.
Here we go. I got that.
You're fine. Sorry about that, Connor.
Just apologize to Connor. I apologize to Connor.
I'll never forgive you. Connor's understanding
how we work here. Last week, really clean.
Really tight. This week, really clean, really tight.
This week, clean and tight with a lot of slop.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
But.
That's how the sausage is made, you know?
I think it's been fun.
I've had fun. At the end of the day, we make the best ragu.
I got to pee.
We don't want to trouble you.
We're public servants. We've been called here. You're not a servant. Look, the dad in the back, he's pressing charges.
They're giving him a thing.
He's like, yeah, I'm going to sign a bunch of paperwork.
I'm pressing charges against my daughter.
Just giving him no choice.
The cop's like, we're public servants.
She's like, can you get me a glass of water then?
Oh, you can go to Starbucks then.
I'll get out of the car.
Give me Starbucks.
She goes, okay, yeah, green tea frappuccino.
We're here to solve a problem.
Unfortunately...
Do you have a payroll?
The problem is that you're in the car.
The dad's already pressing charges.
There's not a solution.
What?
There's not a solution.
The solution is that you step out.
Oh, look at that cop.
Either stand over here.
You can sit.
There's a bench over here. There's a can sit. There's a bench over here.
There's a bench there.
There's a bench over there.
She tries to wrestle the girl, by the way.
Can't do it.
She tried to wrestle the girl?
Well, you'll see.
Oh, sorry.
Spoiler.
Don't spoil her.
Sorry, sir.
Come on.
Go ahead and stand out of the car.
No, I stepped out.
It's fine.
Please allow me to shut my doors.
No, you're not closing the door.
I don't want to shut it on you.
I wish the cop would just piss the whipper.
I can promise you.
The daughter keeps going like,
listen, he gave me a Subway gift card
and I'm going to Subway right now.
She keeps mentioning
that she got a gift card from her dad.
That's so you know she's fresh out of rehab.
Do you guys have authority over this?
I don't want to give you cash because you're going to buy drugs with it.
I'm going to get you Subway gift cards.
Try and figure out how to resell your Subway for heroin.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
You fucking embarrassment to the family.
The dad's like,
I re-gifted a bunch of gift cards there
and I thought that'd be enough.
Oh, man.
That's okay.
No.
You are.
Here we go.
Here we go.
Pull her.
Let's fucking go.
Take her out of that camera.
You're going to come out of the car,
so do we have to make this harder?
I don't want to.
Don't pull my arm out of its socket.
Don't touch me.
Don't touch me.
Don't touch me.
Don't molest me.
Please.
Very good.
We're going to end up having these horses.
I would like to press charges for assault.
An assault charge.
I just assaulted.
There's no, you're under arrest.
I want to press charges for battery.
She goes, actually, citizen's arrest?
I'm arresting you, Mr. Policeman.
Press charges.
I would like to press charges.
I'm being held against my will.
Get out of the car. No, I'm being held against my will. Get out of the car.
No, I'm being held against my will.
He can't even look at her.
The cop can't even look at her.
Objection.
You can get out of the car.
You can leave on your own accord.
You can walk away.
Or you're going to end up going with us.
Get a judge or something.
Like, I don't know.
Get a judge.
A guy with a big cloak and white fucking wig comes down there.
The judge shows up, he just bludgeons her with his gavel.
Get a judge.
I want the chief of police.
I want the mayor.
I want a judge.
Mail me some papers.
She's tweaked out, too.
Yeah, she's mild and shit.
Whatever the charges are, let me know.
Are you going to give me a ticket?
Why don't you just give me a ticket?
We could give you, but you have to get out of ticket? Why don't you just give me a ticket? You could give me a ticket,
but you have to get out of the car.
That's the problem.
So the main point...
Or a verbal warning.
Be like, hey,
please don't sit in people's cars again
if they don't want you in the car.
This is like watching a scene out of Traffic.
Yeah.
This is like watching, like,
fucking Michael Douglas
with his daughter in Traffic.
Crazy.
What a world.
So that...
We've tried that.
We're trying to get you out.
No, you didn't.
But anyway, my dad is obviously, like, demented, What a world. So that, we've tried that. We're trying to get you out. No, you didn't.
But anyway, my dad is obviously, like, demented,
and he's got, like, a shield that I can't diagnose, right?
I don't know what to do because he's getting older. Yes, in fact, we live in the same building.
I am his caretaker.
You're his caretaker?
Yes, I am. And you know what you're his caretaker yes I am
and you know what
how do you care for him
I suck his dick
I fondle the balls
officer
I stroke the shaft
while I work the nuts
idiot
I fuck him
I fuck his brother
I fucked my whole family, okay?
And now you're telling me to
leave this 2018
Camry? The cop just shoots her in the face.
We would have less racial tension in this
country if there were videos like this where she
just got shot. Oh yeah, for sure.
Cops should start shooting
annoying white women a little bit. Black people would let out a big sigh of relief and be like, that was yeah, for sure. Cops should start shooting annoying white women a little bit. Black people
would let out a big sigh of relief and be like
that was weird, but alright.
Black people would be like, that wasn't right and that
mirrors the injustice
that happens to us, but
it's nice to see. I do love this take.
They're all good for like two weeks.
Cops don't need to stop killing people.
They need to kill everybody.
No, we need equal opportunity.
Yeah.
Cops have turret guns on top of their cars.
Mm-hmm.
We need equal opportunity frontier justice.
Take care of him.
Do you work?
Yes, I do.
I work a lot.
I do things.
It doesn't matter.
What do you do?
Drugs.
I'm a cop.
My brother used to sign before he burned my mom's house down.
What do you do?
You just like police stuff?
I got a cop-style personal.
What is policing?
Hear what the cop just said?
What did he say?
He goes,
you sound a lot like my brother did
right before he burned my mom's house down.
Oh, that fucking...
Damn.
So the cop is even like...
He's recognizing like the mania.
Psychosis.
Yeah, he's psychosis.
He can't stand her. Yeah, he can't stand her. Yeah mania. Psychosis. Yeah, he's psychosis. He can't stand her.
Yeah, he can't stand her.
Yeah, yeah.
What a domino.
But here's the issue.
Your father is wanting you out of the car.
He's willing to press charges.
Therefore, you're going to end up going with us
because you're refusing to get out of the car.
I literally cannot be nicer to you.
It's like, what if you were in my doorway at my house
and like you were holding it...
Oh, now she's trying to be
sultry? What is this? What is this?
What is this crackhead
sultriness? She's like,
Mr. Officer, do you want to fuck one of my
moles?
I think those are... The cop's just like,
look, ma'am, you're so lucky you're not
black. I can't...
I can't stress it enough.
I mean...
We would have been back at the station by now
if you had a body bag!
Is that your street?
Yeah.
What are you doing?
She looks like me before I go into the dentist room
trying to push my teeth back,
so it looks like they before I go into the dentist where I'm trying to push my teeth back.
It looks like they're more even.
I'm not even wearing my retainer, doc.
Back in high school,
before I had to go into the dentist or the orthodontist or whatever,
I'd be like, fuck, he's going to be pissed.
I haven't been wearing my retainer.
All day, I would just push my teeth back.
Bleeding.
I did. I've been wearing my retainer. So all day I would just like push my teeth back. Just bleeding. Bleeding. I'm like literally like forcing my.
I thought that would work.
I did.
It did.
Also you thought that Dennis cared.
Like you thought like you're his one project.
Like that Dennis is going like, oh man, I've been working my whole life for Devin Costa's
straight smile.
I wrote scissor hands dad.
My dentist used to say I was a great patient, which used to freak me and my mom out.
And my mom, my mom used to be like,
it's always weird.
It says you're a great patient.
I'm like, yeah, because I fuck them.
I let them suck me out.
It's the cities.
This chick's so three-sided.
Is she's not your stone?
It's the cities.
Okay.
What do you think she's on, John?
Amphetamines.
Like, who owns the pavement?
It's a lot of jerky movement.
I see.
The sad thing is I've met a bunch of people like that.
I don't know.
Because I meet a lot of hardcore addicts,
and they're basically homeless people,
but they're younger,
and they'll usually have really dirty hands.
That's how I could tell.
And they're dirty.
They're filthy people.
But the sad part is when you get people like that,
where if you just met them at first glance,
you think they're normal people, but then you realize like oh you kind of smell bad and you're
really sweaty and you're like oh you're like a meth addict something's not right something and
it's the beginning of your journey yeah like it just started this month yeah like i'm catching
you right there and it's like god five or six times people just like the sweating alone oh
the sweating is crazy yeah yeah no it's always crazy
when you meet somebody you're like you seem normal and then you start looking at their hands and
their their nails are bitten down to like the core and you're the dirt yeah that's how you that's how
you get along it's just fucking dirt all over their fucking fingers yeah i think you would have
to try to get in contact with them or something i don't know talk to the bank that like they tackle
this bitch right joy let's skip to the tackle get to the bank that like... They tackle this bitch, right, Joey? Let's get to the tackle.
Get to the tackle, yeah.
Oh, here we go.
Whatever.
Here we go.
I don't want us to get hurt, and I want you to get hurt.
So I really would like you to get out of the car.
I don't want us to get hurt.
I want you to get hurt.
So we're going to hurt you.
It'd be funny if you fast forward and there's such a German shepherd molly.
He's eating me.
He's eating my face!
That's your choice.
You ever seen it?
Daniel Craig.
About the Jews in the woods.
Okay.
All right.
Drag her out.
Get out of here.
You varicose vein bitch.
Why didn't they just do that?
Because they don't want to actually do this.
They don't want to file paperwork.
I would love to do that to her.
I'd love to.
That's why we're out of a fucking car.
They just want her to get out of the fucking car.
Just leave.
Get out.
The most dangerous cop of all time is a guy who loves to do paperwork.
That's always the funniest thing about cops.
They're usually very dumb
And it's hilarious
I'm like how do they do all that paperwork
It's hilarious
They have to give themselves homework
You do this
You're taking English right now
You're under arrest
No I'm not under arrest
You're under arrest
You're under arrest for trespassing and resisting.
You can't do that.
We can.
No, you're not going to.
You're not going to.
Yeah.
Stop.
Stop.
I wish he didn't have to.
Imagine if that worked.
Imagine if you just go, stop, and the cops go, darn it, shit.
It's just manifesting.
Let's go back to this.
No one's ever said that to me.
Oh, my God.
Holy shit.
You're the first one.
Unbelievable.
What was that?
Maitland?
Where's Maitland?
Joey, look up where Maitland is.
We tried to work it out with you.
What the fuck is Maitland?
How do you spell it?
I can't even see it.
M-A-I-T-L-A-N-D.
Maitland.
Maitland Police.
I mean, this is like a...
Stop.
Stop policing me.
Stop policing me. Stop policing me.
Florida.
I'm sorry that this is the way this works.
You got it.
There we go.
This is not the law.
This is not the law.
Once you wrestle the cops...
I thought you said that woman couldn't wrestle her down.
I might have been mixing videos together.
Mixing up retards.
I watch so many of these.
Hey, we do it all, man.
I get it.
It's okay.
Oh, you know, I just remembered the one that I was thinking of.
It's a big fat guy in a truck who's like a squatter.
And he's like, he does like First Amendment rights kind of stuff.
And he was strong.
I don't know why I mixed these up.
I must have watched them back to back.
Well, she looks like a trucker.
That must have been it.
But yeah, no, so that's kind of the whole thing.
I'm not resisting.
Well, they got her.
I have to search you.
I have to search you.
You're molesting me.
There's one more big moment here.
Let's go to the wildest moments.
We are not a corporation.
We are not a co-op.
You're not a cop.
Oh, she's doing some sovereign citizenship. Co-op.
What does that mean? You're not a co-op?
It's a schizophrenic wordplay.
What does that mean? Nothing.
Let's not spend time analyzing.
I don't know. I think she's brilliant.
That's a beautiful mind over here.
You're a robber.
You're stealing me. Dude, I keep asking like that. I go, what's a beautiful mind over here you're a robber you're stealing me
dude i keep asking like that i go what's a wobber
kidnapping me okay you're abducting me
oh you're hurting me no stop doing it
oh the car without us fighting, without fighting. Don't touch my car! Don't touch my car!
Yay!
She's good.
The backseat of cop cars suck ass.
They're so uncomfortable. It's like they really could use like, they need some ergonomics.
The backseat of a cop car is
so uncomfortable. Get a Tempur-Pedic
or something. Have you ever been in the
backseat of a cop car? They suck, man. They are so uncomfortable. When ever been in the backseat of a cop car? They suck, man. They are so
uncomfortable. When were you in the backseat of a cop car?
Yeah, I was driven home.
I was driven home once.
That's the whitest reason of all time.
I was lost and I called the cops.
They just gave me a ride.
Well, I called the cops one day to say hi.
I just wanted to check in on what they were doing
and then they said, how are you?
And I said, well, I'm a little lost in downtown LA.
And they gave me a ride home.
I was a kid.
I was like in eighth grade.
I was with my friends.
And they were Korean.
One of them was black.
So it was nice of the cops to do that.
I thought we'd have to ditch the black guy.
Why'd they drive you home?
I thought we'd have to ditch the black guy to get a ride.
But they helped us all out.
Because we were, technically, there
was a curfew for people our age
and we were stuck in um montrose yeah okay and we just what we were like man or all of our none of
our parents could take us home we were like how the fuck do we get home like the buses stopped
running yeah and uh we just walked up to a cop car and we just like explained ourselves and they
put us in the back yeah how far is montrose 20 minutes what was beth doing not even that
from here it's like 10 15 minutes, it's like 10, 15 minutes.
Yeah, it's like 10 or 15 minutes from here.
What was Beth up to?
I might have not wanted to call her.
Yeah, yeah.
Dude, where the fuck was your mom?
I just know Beth, and I know she would have been there in a heartbeat.
I would love to see body cam footage of a cop who has a really guilty conscience.
Just a handcuffing person being like,
I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, I love you, I love you, I'm so sorry.
I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to touch you like that, I'm so sorry.
I saw footage of a cop having a mental breakdown because he got shot at.
I wasn't...
You love the pussy.
Yeah, what an asshole.
Was it a black guy?
It was a black guy, yeah.
And he wasn't getting shot.
A guy came out of his trailer and shot a gun
in the air and the guy started crying. And the
paramedic had to take the cop's gun away. I see that. I love that.
It's a great video, man. Damn, really?
Yeah. We gotta make that on Patreon.
I have another one for the Patreon, similar.
Just body cam special. We'll circle back.
Oh, also, I forgot. I was in the back of a cop car
recently when we had to identify the homeless man
that... God. Oh, yeah. Those sucked.
God, when he pulled that, what we thought was a gun, man that... God. Oh, yeah. Those sucked. God. When he pulled that...
Well, we thought it was a gun, but it turned out
to be a lighter.
You know this story? No, no.
Oh, we were watching Top Gun.
Century City.
Maverick. Maverick.
And we drove home
and then we... No, this was in
1988. I thought you were watching it at home.
Oh, yeah, yeah. I thought you were watching it here and then you guys went out. We're driving home and then we get down. No, this was in 1988. I don't know if you're watching it at home. Oh, yeah, yeah.
I thought maybe you were watching it here,
and then you guys went out.
I don't know.
We're driving home,
and then what was the intersection?
Oh, we don't want to give it out.
It's right down the street.
But it was a stop sign,
and then I stop at the car,
and I just hear Devin go,
John, John, John.
I look to my right.
There's just a dude with a hoodie up going like this.
Holding a thing.
It literally looked like the barrel of a gun.
It was dark.
It looked like a gun.
Yeah.
And I have a hybrid,
and I was like, oh, fuck.
We're fucked.
And then I hit the gas, and then the guy, we go forward, but the guy like, Jesus.
John was already like thinking about like taking over the podcast and everything.
Yeah, I was like.
Oh, I'll be your job.
So Devin's dead.
Ka-ching.
He's like, so I'm in the driver's seat now.
He's like, all that Patreon money's mine.
Yeah.
I actually threw Devin out of the car and hit the gas.
The actual story is, though, Devin dove behind you as a human shield.
I told Devin to get down.
No, he told me to get down, and I got down, and then I tried putting John's head.
I was a man.
I tried putting John's head down, but I was actually trying to get him to suck me off.
In our last moments, it was the last chance.
John, a gun!
Suck me off!
Sorry!
No, it was like...
It was legitimately scary
Let's not
I know we've like
Made jokes about it
After we found out
It wasn't a gun
If you thought it was a gun
That is scary
It was extremely terrifying
Dude, there was a guy
Holding
And it had a barrel
Because it was one of those
Like lighter things
We don't know what it was
It was a crack torch
No, because they found
A crack torch
It was a giant crack torch
With a giant barrel thing
And it looked just like a gun
And he's holding it And he has a hood on like the Zodiac
and he's like this just pointing it
right at my head
I go shit John
I just immediately my instinct was like that's a guy
holding a gun on us
did you dive behind John?
no I drove on John
he goes get down
you're safe
and then I said go go, go, go.
And John's car is a shitty hybrid
so he barely accelerated.
Well, it was scary because I was like,
dude, one of us is about to get really badly hurt.
And then he ran into the street
following us like this.
It was fucking terrifying.
You guys are like Michael Rapaport in Copland.
We are.
That was exactly how it was much that was exactly
how it was it was it was like i'm not kidding one of the scariest things ever happened to me
um i i you know i've been chased by a gang member before but yeah that was scarier actually because
i thought it was a gun i thought i thought he was just gonna shoot me i was just waiting for him to
open fire and then i was like oh he's gonna hit you first and then i was like i might get shot
and then i got a fear and now in my head i was like silver oh, he's going to hit you first. And then I was like, I might get shot. And then I got a fear. And now in my head, I was like, Silver Lake Medical Center.
It was stupid.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Just doing triage.
I was doing, I was born identity.
I was like, I was like, Devin, get down.
Silver Lake Medical Center.
I'm going 60.
We're just lucky to know a hero.
Yeah.
Honestly.
Honestly, thank God you were there.
God bless you, buddy.
To push the pedal to the metal and go 13 miles per hour.
My life was in danger.
Thank God you saved the
day 2000 rpm baby yeah and then we had to identify we identified the guy later that night the cops
came we called the cops they came was in his wife beater you're all hysterical i had a wife beater
and i was like trying to explain like what gun maybe he had and i was like i don't look like
a nine millimeter he said it was a glock the cops come was like, he had a gun and then Devin's like,
yeah,
he had a fucking Glock.
Devin just heard Glock
in the wire
and he's like,
every pistol is a Glock.
It was the first gun
you get in Grand Theft Auto
so I was like,
he had that one.
I go,
he pressed up,
up,
you know,
wide.
He had a tank.
Three stars,
a tank.
And the cop kept being like,
Dalvin,
he's like,
well,
what does that mean to you?
And I was like,
that's a fucking gun. I was like,
I opened the gun on us.
And then they put us in the car and we had to go
identify. They found the guy and then we had to identify
him that night. And they wouldn't let John and I be
together because they knew we'd be too much of a fucking
They knew we'd be like hilarious together.
They were like, these guys podcast.
Can you guys stop 69ing in the back?
We're trying to find this murderer.
So they took John. John showed up, and I walked by John.
I go, what'd he look like?
I go, did you say yes?
And John's like, yeah, I said yes.
And I was like, well, all right.
This is my favorite part of the story, actually.
But John's kind of evil.
Well, no, because they separated you guys,
and the homeless guy was across the street.
They caught him down the street.
And so they were like, is that him?
And Devin starts weighing on him.
He's like, what if it's not him? I could be
putting an innocent man in jail.
That's the guy. He's going away.
Well, because it didn't look like the guy.
He didn't have a hood on. And he was a white kid.
Yeah, he's going to take it off. And he was white.
But Chug goes, yeah, that's him.
Yeah, that's him. If it's not him, he's a
homeless scumbag that should be in jail anyway. I'm kidding. Well, that's.... Like, let's fucking go. Yeah. If it's not him, he's a homeless scumbag that should be in jail anyway.
I'm kidding.
Well, that's, here we go.
There's the Republican thing I was looking for.
Wrong place, wrong time, Bozo.
I had a little more, like, thought about it.
So I had to think.
And the cops are like, is that him?
And they're literally, the lights on him, and they're holding his head,
and they're about to shove him in the back of this, like, squad car, right?
They're about to blow his brains out.
Yeah, they're about to, like, is this him?
Is this him?
They're holding a gun to his head.
Why weren't you so thoughtful when you identified the Glock?
I'm not kidding.
I'm sitting in the back seat, and I'm like, ah.
I was honestly embarrassed when he said Glock.
I was like, god damn it.
Why?
That's what they have.
They have Glocks.
Yeah, but police.
That's like the most simple gun to have.
That's not a crazy thing to say.
You keep acting like that because you think you're fucking Jesse Ventura from Predator.
And you're not.
No, you're not.
You've never held a gun.
You're a little hotter.
The only gun you use is a potato gun.
Right in your fucking mouth, fatso.
Shut up.
Shut the fuck up.
You make french fries with potato guns.
Eat my dick.
So, I'm in the backseat. I'm trying to have some fore my dick. I'm in the backseat.
I'm trying to have some foresight here.
I'm trying to be thoughtful
about the situation.
You're going to ruin the case.
I didn't know if it was technically him.
They would have let the guy go and he would have raped a pregnant woman that night because of you.
That's what would have happened.
I just keep laughing at the idea
of Sean killing himself like Kurt Cobain
with a potato gun.
Just hairspray in the bottom.
Hairspray.
So anyway, yeah.
I was trying to think about it a little.
Because I know John's like a sicko.
I know John's like a fucking.
Yeah, be a sicko.
John's like a soulless, like, you know,
like, death camp Republican.
And he's like, yeah, send him away.
And I was like...
It was the guy.
The guy had on shorts, and I was like...
He had pants on.
He had blue pants on.
I didn't remember the guy having on pants like that.
Yeah, because you're too busy ducking away from the gun.
I looked at him.
I was busy facing danger and saving you.
I looked at him.
No, you didn't.
Yeah, I did.
I'm the one that said there's a guy with a gun, asshole. No, he's not recording, right? He's like, officers, he's cum drunk. He has no idea what he's facing danger and saving me. I looked at him. No, you didn't. Yeah, I did. I'm the one that said there's a guy with a gun, asshole.
No, he's not a corner ride.
I'm like, officers, he's cum drunk.
He has no idea what he's talking about.
But yeah, it took me a little bit.
They were like, there were two cops in the front of the car looking back at me like,
you have to say.
And I'm like, um, I don't know.
I just felt all of a sudden some weird, like, liberal feeling came over me.
And I was like, what if it's not the guy?
I would have done nothing.
I would have just driven home and done nothing.
We thought he had a gun and he chased us.
He was literally half a block away.
I was like, what if he actually shoots somebody?
What if he kills somebody?
It was a guy in the stance of murdering somebody like a serial killer.
I said the same thing, though, Connor.
They're like, what would you have done? I was like, if I, like, they're like,
well, what you, what you've done,
and I was like, well, I would say,
oh, there's a homeless guy with a lighter.
I'm just driving home.
No, but we literally thought it was a gun.
Well, I'm safe, so, uh, bye-bye.
Well, I would have known that it wasn't a gun.
Like, oh, homeless guys,
homeless guys don't have guns.
They can't afford them.
They'll sell them for crap.
They do have guns.
I care about my neighbor.
They do have guns.
They have guns.
They have guns. No, yeah, there's, do have guns in Skid Row. They have guns. They have guns.
No, yeah, there's like
crip sex of homeless guys
that have guns.
Well, no.
What do you think of this John Wick?
The Lawrence Fishburne character.
There's homeless guys with guns, dude.
There are homeless guys
that get found with handguns all the time.
No, it's like very rare.
You know at Union Station
they find guns constantly.
It's like in RuneScape
when you get like a Rune 2 handgun.
I like that you thought
I would love a RuneScape.
Or like a dragon fucking...
What are those?
But guns do get abandoned.
It was just like in RuneScape.
No, it's like a rare item.
In Skid Row, a gun is a very, very rare item.
Yeah, he was like a level 60 homeless guy.
But he wasn't in Skid Row.
He was on my street.
Any homeless guy, a gun is a rare item for any homeless guy.
Okay, but you would have done the same thing.
No, I don't think so.
It literally looked like a guy holding a gun.
Get the fuck out of the road, you homeless bum.
Put that lighter away.
Look, personally, I would have gotten out.
I would have squared up at the man.
I would have beat his ass.
We're big pussies.
John's a hero.
You're kind of a pussy. I said, yeah, it's like, John's a hero. I'm a hero. You're kind of a pussy.
I said,
yeah,
it's him,
eventually,
and then they shoved
his head into the car
and they started
beating the shit out of him.
I didn't see him
get taken away.
That pissed me off.
What race?
I saw him taken away.
White?
White.
We thought he was Latino.
Name God.
Name was God.
His name was Brad.
And you know what's fucked up?
He kept saying he was God.
We both got subpoenaed
and neither of us
showed up for court.
Yeah.
It was all for nothing.
Last funny thing.
The detective was begging for us to show up for court.
He's like,
please,
nothing will happen.
I had like a 30 minute
convo with him.
I'm like,
yeah,
this and that,
blah, blah, blah.
And I'm like,
I was drunk.
He was like,
please,
like,
just show up.
And I'm like,
yeah,
listen,
buddy,
like I'm hammered.
I would,
but I got a podcast.
The last best part of this is that John,
classic John,
tried to become best friends with the detective.
Oh, yeah, 100%.
As usual.
John literally kept talking to me.
He's like, dude, Detective Fukushima, dude?
That guy's fucking sick, dude.
I fucking love that guy, dude.
I knew the stance he was in.
It's called the Weaver stance.
And he used that with the cough.
And he was like, oh, I'm impressed you know that.
And I was like, ugh.
And then I'm in the corner.
I was like, oh, I just can't.
I'm in the corner.
I'm like, yeah, what about Glocks?
I knew what a Glock was.
It was embarrassing.
Like, shut the fuck up, you little otter.
Like, shut up.
Anyway.
I got to pee again.
Let's wrap it up.
Thank you for listening, folks.
This has been the
Hey Watch Podcast
Connor on Instagram
At 420 Naughty Boy
I think
I think Connor will be on
Pretty much every episode
That he can be on
When he's not doing
A stand up show
And when he does
We will promote them
And please go check him out
Because we have fans
We can promote him
And if I have a stand up show
If I have a stand up show
I'll cancel
Hell yeah Hell yeah.
Hell yeah, brother.
There we go.
So, new member of the podcast,
Connor McConner.
I love sweet Connor.
Joey Arloff-Fleur on Instagram.
Shout out Maddie Ratt.
Go ahead.
J.P. Ryder-Morgan.
Oh, J.P. Ryder-Morgan.
J.P. Ryder-Morgan.
Oh, Ben P.
Ben P's cool.
Shout out Ben P.
Shout out Yarmules.
Yarmules.
Shout out Gabe Redmond.
Yeah, yeah. The Delta Force of Hay Shout out Gabe Redmond. Yeah, yeah.
The Delta Force of Haywatch.
Gabe Redmond is forcing a trout to fuck a salmon right now.
God bless you all.
Thank you.
Good night.
We will be back next week.
I don't think it will.