Hate Watch with Devan Costa - Man v. Baby

Episode Date: April 24, 2023

John might be on the new season of Naked and Afraid. Artificial Intelligence is going to take Drake's job. A man gets in a fight with a baby on a plane and wins everyone over. Devan tries a few more songs for John's Gun Corner that make little to no sense. Get weekly bonus episodes: https://www.patreon.com/HateWatchPodcast

It's good to be in something from the ground floor. I came too late for that. I know. But lately I'm getting the feeling that I came in at the end. The best is over. Many Americans, I think, feel that way. We're in.

We, uh... We were gifted a... a wonderful gift package from our pod mom, Renee. Renee the pod mom. It was my birthday, and she sent me this glorious... It's a gift bag. It's like there's a barbecue sauce, but there's bubble-wrapped Miller Lights.

Bud Lights, Miller Lights, Mors. Do you want to have one? I'd love a lukewarm Miller. Do you want one of these black Millers? Let me see the black one real quick. I'd love a Miller Lite wrapped in bubble wrap. Let's leave the bubble wrap on it. Leave the bubble wrap on.

Let's drink it. We have to move this, though. Johnny, can you get that out of here? Yeah, hold on. I just want to see what this... Limited edition Miller Lite can is. What is this shit? Wow.

Exciting. It's like taking a condom off your cock. You gotta move that, John. I'm gonna move it, dipshit. Hold on a second. Fuck. Relax. Jesus Christ.

We have a lot to talk about with you. Hold on. What is this? This is so sick, dude. Why is it black? I don't know. I didn't know Miller Lite had a... It's like a fucking eagle in front of a red sun.

Oh, because that's... It's the non-light beer. It's the genuine draft. Oh! But I've never seen a black one, though. Oh, this is like something you'd see in, like, Conan the Barbarian. Like, this is on some guy's shield when he raids. Yeah.

Or something. Now, that is a genuine draft. I didn't know genuine draft came in cans. Thank you, Sweet Pop-Up. Thank you. If anybody else wants to send a similar thing... Message me on Instagram. We have a secure address that I give only to some people.

Exactly, exactly. We're down to take beers. Please send us beers. We love accepting all the worst beers in America. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Whoa, relax. Miller likes the best beer in America. Miller High Life's the champagne of beer. Get us a sponsor here, brother.

Miller Genuine Draft is the official beer of, it's in the hands of people dying on the street. Miller Genuine Draft is the official beer of molesting your daughter. You ever seen a guy on the street who's probably dead? Crackhead homeless guy? He's always holding a big bottle of Miller Genuine Draft. It's on the EMT's checklist when they find a body. It's like Narcane.

No, it's like, yeah, did you check the pulse? Like, okay, did you throw away his Miller lie? There you go, genuine draft. Throw away his Miller lie. Throw it away. So he had an MGD on him. Yeah. So it's come to my attention that our boy John here is close to getting on the new season of Naked and Afraid.

I can't fucking wait. Which is hilarious, but I'm also a little worried for him. Because everybody that gets on that show leaves with horrific diseases. It takes them years to recover. I'm a huge Naked and Afraid fan. I watch it all the time. I'm pretty disease prone, too.

You get a lot of diseases. Monkeypox. You had ringworm. Yeah, you'll be the first guy lot of diseases. Monkeypox. You had ringworm. You'll be the first guy to bring diseases to the jungle. I'll bring ringworm to the jungle. It'll be a bunch of squirrels with monkeypox. I had my first interview with the casting director Friday.

Wait, what's today? Doesn't matter. Nobody cares. Whatever. It's like my grandmother. Nobody cares, Grandma. Oh, whatever. I had my first interview with a doctor. It's like my grandmother. Was it a Wednesday? It's a Tuesday. Nobody cares, Grandma. You're dying.

I had my first interview, and I passed with flying colors. I got the second one on Tuesday, and then I got a video interview on the one after. So the show's, you have to survive in the woods for 21 days. And not the woods. You have to survive in rainforests and jungles and like. Like there's a hurricane. They always pick The worst climate possible Yeah

And you're naked And you You're butt naked You get like Two things You get like They give you like A corkscrew

And a fucking You know Some boots And Do they show Cock No they blur it all out Everybody's gonna see my ass

They don't blur the ass Are you scared about Having your ass on TV No I have a very flat ass. I have a Hank Hill ass. You scared about diarrhea? No. Because you always have diarrhea.

No, I don't think I'm going to shit, really, because I'm not going to be eating anything. Yeah. How many days do you think John would last? He'll last 17 hours. And then what do you think is going to happen? He'll last the first night, because John's got determination. But there's supposed to be people in the show that know how

to survive so they're gonna they're gonna match John because of his charisma they're gonna match him with like a fucking like you know a survivalist woman like a chick a commando like a chick that has like a fucking you know like she's got a dick she has a Semper Fi tattoo on her

clit and within a day or two if john gets by like it'll cut to her like you're doing interviews in the camera and she's just like he just fucking keeps talking about like chinese industrial accidents and like he's doing he does nothing he knows nothing all he does is talk he's making cum jokes and talking about nazis and then it's gonna cut to john and john's gonna be like, dude, fucking sick, dude. Is that wheatgrass? Sorry. John's just like eating grass. I think I'll be okay.

I think I can do the whole 21 days. John. I think if you had a gun pointed to your head, you could. If this is a gun pointed to my head, I'll be so embarrassed if I leave the jungle in a trail between my legs. You're gonna start rationalizing it immediately

where you're like, all right, dude, I thought it was kind of fucking funny. I think that's gonna make for a good episode. I've got enough content now for the podcast. I totally will. I can just leave. It's been two nights. It's fucking cold. I need to check my phone.

You guys realize I'm one of the most determined guys you know. Really? Yeah, easily. I've lost 120 pounds. You're very good. That is so amazing. I've stuck to jujitsu. I've fucking stuck in that shit with crippling anxiety. I fucking, you know, everybody, whenever I fucking went anywhere, I was like, I've stuck to jujitsu. I fucking stuck in that shit. Yeah, that's true. With crippling anxiety. I fucking, I, you know, everybody, whenever I fucking went anywhere, I was like, you're not going to do that.

And I did it. A lot of, there's only times people have always told me like, you're not going to do that. Yeah, but you would close on them when you visited these countries. Yeah, yeah. You slept in a bed. Africa's a possibility, bro. They may send me to Africa. Yeah.

That'd be crazy. I gotta get my passport. I hope they send you to Africa. I hope they send me to Africa. I'll be stoked, bro. That's where you, yeah. I'll be pissed kind of low key though cause that's crazy

I hope you get like beheaded by Joseph Kony I just like I don't I hope they pair you with Digimon Hanzo from Blood Diamond and they cut to him he's doing an interview he goes you are not my partner

he just wants his son back and they cut to him and he's doing an interview and he goes, you are not my pussy. No. I just, he just wants his son back. He just wants, dude, I'm fucking naked and afraid. John's like, listen,

dude, this is a naked and afraid so fucking gay. He's like, I just want my son. He's like, well, he's in the fucking, uh,

the, uh, yeah, if they send me to Africa, I think that'll be, I don't know. Everything, every place has like an up and down,

like I would like Costa Rica or like a jungle Or some shit Would be cool No You don't get cold You want cold climate Desert climate

You want no bugs Desert Fuck that You want desert I'm not scared of bugs like you What are you talking about It'll deform you They all leave deformed

Everyone on the show Leaves looking like elephant man They get so many bug bites They turn deformed I'll just Nobody in the show Covers themselves in mud Kind of fucking talk to the medic

Do you guys Kind of like Sudafed dude Like I need so much Sudafed To just stay alive Like you can't keep talking To the medic I've been to jungles

Like I've been to jungles And This is what everyone On Naked and Afraid Leaves looking like They leave looking like This pedophile That got beaten

beaten so that's you John that's just that's after that's after 27 hours in Thailand oh these Southeast Asia

would be fucked because there's tons of snakes John just tried to like eat the wrong berries and he's like it's gonna be such a disaster it's gonna be a disaster I have a feeling

they like have someone there that's like, don't eat that plant, because they could die doing that very quickly. Really? Is that why every episode I watch, somebody has, they're starving, and they finally just go, I'm just going to fucking eat it, and they eat it, and then it cuts to them being helicoptered out of there as they're shitting their guts out? Right, yeah, so when you eat the wrong berry,

you only die if you're lost in the wilderness. If you get medical attention, you survive. Yeah. So I'm not. Okay. Here's the deal. Then hold on. Just wait till it's a fucking rainy climate.

You can't get a fire started, but you need water. So then you just start panicking and then you just finally drink from the creek and then you get a horrific fucking. He's going right to the creek. Yeah. Rainy climate. Rainy climate. Cut the vine. Drink water from the vine. Maybe he's the best

survivalist ever. I've watched every episode of Survivor Man. I know how to do that too, asshole. Give him another scenario. You don't know anything about vines. Give him another scenario. He's going to be the only guy... That was like Yeah, another scenario. John's, he's going to be the only guy. That was like her at the stops alone and like, you know, what?

Oh, really? Funny. You know, there's fucking indoor plumbing at the stops. Yeah, it's called your asshole, buddy. Anyways, what's next? The only guy on Naked and Afraid that like, you're trying to, the only guy on Naked and Afraid that's trying to bring, You're putting Crystal Light in the creek. I get that.

You bring packets. You're like, yeah, the boiled water's pretty good, but it's way better if you put the fucking ionic Q in it. I have the Mio squirt bottle. Yeah, the Mio, yeah. That's my luxury item. John's gay bashing the camera. He's like, why are you fooling my dick, fag?

No, I... Yeah, what's like, why are you fooling my dick, fag? No, I, yeah, what's another scenario? Give me some. Because they sent me a survival packet I have to go through. I haven't looked at it. I didn't really watch the show,

but I guess, okay. Another scenario, it's freezing and your partner won't cuddle with you at night because they're disgusted by you. I mean, that's, that's a huge issue on the show.

Dude, there is not. That happens a lot. If you're a cold woman, you're cuddling. Isn't the girl cold? There's no way. Yeah, but she'd rather be cold. A lot of times the women are like, I'm a fucking cuddle bug.

He's a cuddle bug. If they pair you with a woman that's happily married, like some Christian psycho. I've seen that episode. I know what you're talking about. Yeah, there was a guy that refused to cuddle with this chick. It was so funny. Well, she was like a big coke bimbo. Do you that she was trying to fly so weird yeah what if you're in the woods and it's

not a rainy climate how do you get water like what what how do you get in the woods uh well you literally don't okay here's the here's let me just give you first step okay so first step there fire right build a fire and then you build your shelter and then you find a water source how okay walk me through finding the water water source so like um uh you're fucking i'm pretty sure they give you they give you a map of the area and they usually have a water source on the map and then uh well that's without that like if you look for you can like look for i know it is they they don't like you can try digging you can dig into the soil and then it'll naturally be filtered sometimes. No, that's dumb.

You could dig in dry creek beds. You could dig in dry creek beds and underneath creek beds is usually water. Spring water, yeah. Yeah. Okay. That's pretty good.

Or if you can... What I would do is kind of scout the area and look for trash that was left behind. You put a plastic bag over a branch and just let it sit for a day.

It makes fresh water because the plant humidifies in the branch. John's going to be the only guy on Naked and Afraid like he catches a snake and then they cut to him

and he's just like mouth fucking it like a freak. He's like, look dude, it's like a fucking cock, dude. The chick's like, I finally hunted a snake

and he's using it as a fleshlight. And then some mother of seven who was in SEAL Team 6 was like, I fucking hate him. Yeah. It'll be interesting. You're actually going to get on because of your charisma, I think. Yeah, I'm going to get on.

I don't watch the show. But I don't. I wish it was any other show, because that's the only show I've ever seen where they always leave with, unless you leave early before you get shit, they always catch horrible stuff. Well, after you get the basics early before you get shit they always catch horrible stuff well no matter what after you get the basics after you get the fire shelter water then you find food source right well that's a hard one you're just gonna get bored and irritated and that's why you're gonna quit i don't think you're not gonna be able to be a casualty of add

yeah yeah that could be a possibility you know how boring it is building a shelter you know how long it takes them first off when you get... It's gonna be fun at first. You're gonna get bored so fucking fast. You know what happens when you get there? You have to... You immediately... First off, you guys... They have all this chemistry. You start having all this chemistry with your partner. It kind of dies out. No, but you guys talk too long.

Well, yeah. Hold on. Hold on. Shut up. Shut your fucking mouth. Yeah, whatever. He's a master of the show let him explain they talk too long because at the beginning because they're like oh my god look

we're both naked and like we're on this show that's crazy and as they're as they're yapping the sun is going down the sun is rapidly going down and they're just yapping it up

because they think they're on like the real world of the jungle and then they go well I guess we should start I guess a map and they're all being nice each other like okay yeah and then they start wandering to where they should set up shelter and then they always go it's getting pretty dark yeah and then they have to build a shelter in the in the dead of night so it's getting scary and it gets really

scary and then you don't end up building a shelter and you just sleep on a fucking like uh you just sleep on a leaf and red ants bite your cock off in the middle of the night an animal and then they yeah like a leopard is right by your ear like you're a fucking faggot and and that's how every first night goes they almost never get to build a shelter they're always like oh man that sun really went down quick are they talking like are they talking like yeah yeah they're like we're in the jungle we're in the bay no so i think what i've noticed i watched a couple episodes last night what i noticed is that everyone on the show another thing you're right with over with the talking but they'll over communicate with each other constantly and i think that's a source of

aggravation because it sounds like something smart like okay you watch those two people they always go like i'm gonna go over here yeah and do this and they're like okay i'm gonna stay here and do this i'm gonna do that and do this and it's like you could just do it and it's and i feel like a lot of times wasted doing that you're gonna be the guy that that every day you're gonna be so tired you're not gonna want to do shit but you're gonna be like oh and and they're gonna your partner's gonna be like chopping wood doing shit every day because they're a survivalist they're not gonna pair you with a non-survivalist because you you have no experience they may uh that never happens i have to fake it's always one dip shit and then like fucking you know bear grills yeah yeah yeah so so they're gonna be upset at you and you're

gonna have no energy because you're dehydrated and you haven't eaten in days so they'll just cut to you and you're just like literally napping all day in whatever shitty shelter you've created for yourself and uh the chick's gonna be so annoying and then it depends on how they how they how they edit it but it'll then they'll make you look like the bad guy and you'll be like you'll be like i'm doing a lot here and they'll cut to you just like shitting yourself and like you got to be careful because yeah they they have so much power with how they edit. Yeah. You're gonna be trying to be really funny and likable and they're gonna be like, okay, that just doesn't

work for the show. Yeah. We need them to be like a scumbag loser on this episode. Well, the thing is, is the pen is mightier than the sword. Uh-oh. We have our own podcast. If you keep plugging the show. I'm doing this to plug the podcast. If you plug Hatewatch, that's great. That's all I'm doing is plugging. And apparently it's all QAnon

people that watch Naked and Afraid, which is hilarious. I wonder why. I think it's because that show is the... Republicans, bro. Well, that show's the only... They have the best form of entertainment. That is the only reality TV show where you really see, like, base level gender roles. Like, there is no real feminist

on Naked and Afraid. And everything goes back down to like caveman days and no matter what the woman like after a few days it's you're in a relationship yeah they start being upset that you're not doing the manly stuff and then they turn womanly and nagging even though you're in the fucking jungle and and it always turns like that but or unless you have an overcompensating woman what if i just start beating her up or something? You should be the first man to hit a woman on naked and afraid.

I'll be like, she's chopping all the wood. She's like, why don't you do work? I just start beating the shit out of her. It's like, keep working. That was my trout, you fucking bitch. That's how, like, I think, once you get the food and everything then you can start like making shoes you don't know you know you don't know how to make a fucking uh a fishing

line from out of no out of nothing do you know how to do that you fucking i'll look it up do you know how to make a shelter yeah you put these people do it all the time the people that are on the show their their audition their video in their audition is them like, I went alone already into the wild a bunch of times in my life. I'm trying to get good at this. You're going to be just like a guy that is a bartender. They can suck my dick. Yeah, I'll kill it. It's going to kick ass.

I don't know. It'll be really interesting. I think you're going to make it two days. But you're going to have so many bug bites. You're going to have so many problems. You're going to come back. You're going to be- I've been to dirty, filthy places.

You're going to be a big whiny baby. They're also going to edit it and fuck you on the editing. They're going to have so many problems. You're going to come back. I've been to dirty, filthy places. You're going to be a big whiny baby. They're also going to edit it and fuck you on the editing. They're going to make you look so gay. They're going to make you gay. They are. Yeah, I'll be making... They're going to show John John's going to have a relationship with

a fucking chimpanzee or something. He immediately goes to having sex with animals. Yeah. He's like, all right, do a fucking first day in the woods. Like, all right, all right. Fucking a possum.

I think everyone's trying to find a possum to fuck, but I can't find one. It cuts to John with like a rhino's horn like going up his ass. Slowly. Slowly. John's like, oh yeah, he has like a name for it.

It's like, that's great, T-Bone. What, like, but I mean, you guys know the way I talk. You know, like how much, like,Bone. I mean, you guys know the way I talk. You know, like, how much... Like, I don't know if... Like, what if, like, I'm just talking about cum all the time and they can't use it?

Yeah, they're just going to be like, well, we're cutting the episode. Yeah, so then you won't even be on it. So then you won't be on it and you'll have malaria. Yeah. You're going to get malaria. Everyone does. Malaria is not a big deal

you're gonna drink like a you're gonna drink some water that has like a microbe in it something's gonna crawl up your cock it happens in every episode

it's fine every episode some sort of like sentient worm crawls up a cock and then all of a sudden they're just like in like

insane amounts of pain in the middle of the night you're gonna wake up screaming it's gonna be really bad I'm gonna be great but as long as you scream hate watch as's going to be really bad. I'm going to be great. But as long as you scream, Hey Watch. As long as you scream,

Hey Watch Podcast. I'm going to be like, don't forget to watch. Every Monday, Hey Watch Podcast, YouTube.com. That's okay with me if you're suffering.

If you're suffering immensely, that's really okay with me if you're promoting this show. Yeah, exactly. Patreon.com. Hey Watch Podcast. I'm going to be out in the jungle and I think they got like

four million views an episode. Also, shout out Ida. Ida gave you an episode. Also, shout out to Ida. Ida gave you the intro on this. Shout out to Ida. Ida's the reason this is happening somehow. Well, Ida's a... She just likes that this show. Ida's a sick puppy.

Ida's delighted. Ida's delighted at the idea of me suffering. She wants to see you suffer. Ida's delighted at the idea of me... On Discovery Channel. And you know the best... You know what she loves most about it? It's suffering that I'm like, it's like

a trap she laid for me. She knows that I can't resist things like this. And it's almost like she hasn't done anything and it's totally self-inflicted. You know what I mean? I can't wait for the scene when you're like, oh look, what a beautiful flower. And it's a snake and it just bites your fucking nose. Like alien.

Yeah. Man, that's crazy. John's gonna be on Naked and Afraid, baby. I'm excited. I'm very excited about this. Well, I mean, dude, the guy's like, this isn't gonna be filming

until like next fall. So it's probably not gonna be until like fucking next summer. We need time to prepare. We gotta think about how you're gonna do it. How you're gonna approach this. How you're gonna approach it

survival-wise and just entertainment-wise? I actually thought they ended Naked and Afraid because they have way better shows now, like Alone and this other one that I watched. No, Naked and Afraid is, I think, the biggest one still. Yeah, well, because people like watching Naked. Because it's the most sadistic show. Naked and Afraid is the most dystopian show on television. Yes, because it breaks.

Which is crazy. It's literally like, let's see how Adam and Eve survive in the Thailand jungle. Yeah, it's crazy. We got to game plan it. Once I figure it out, it's like I'm on call after I pass the third interview. So then I have to buy a knife, dude. Yeah. I got to buy a big knife.

Well, you're making some money here. Yeah, it'll be fine. No, no, I'm not complaining about the price. I got to pick a knife. I got to pick the right knife. We'll buy you a knife. I got to pick the big knife. Well, you know, you're making some money here. Yeah, I'll be fine. No, no, I'm not complaining about the price. I gotta pick a knife. I gotta pick the right knife. We'll buy you a knife. I gotta pick the right knife and then I gotta buy a knife

and then I'm gonna, and we'll figure out like two weeks in advance like where I'm going and then I go and then we'll like, you know, we'll study, we'll do like a lay of the land.

We'll study like survival tactics. I like how we live in a world where I know somebody on call because they're a doctor and I know somebody on call because they might be a naked in a fray. Yeah.

The spectrum of life. Man. You know what? You'd be better off if you went to a winter climate. It's really cold, but if you guys get a fire, it's all about the fire. You gotta learn how to make a fucking fire right now. They give you a fire starter.

And I know you think you can make a fire just by like, you know. They give you a fire starter? They give you a fire starter. What is it? They do? Yeah, you get the flint and you scratch a bit of it off into a little pile. But you better hope that the fucking wood's not damp. Well, then you cut to the center of the wood.

That never works. It works. I watch survivalists not be able to make fires for days on that show. Survivalists. I know what they're doing. I know you think you're a survivalist because you goists. I know you think you're a survivalist because you go occasionally. I know you think you're a survivalist. They call anybody a fucking survivalist on that show.

Oh, right. They don't really check them out. You're a survivalist. Guess who I communicate with regularly on Instagram. An AIDS survivalist. That's what I was about to say, but John still hasn't gotten the hang of broadcasting. Shut the fuck up. Anyway, so.

John still thinks we're in my living room, but he just talks through me. We're doing a show here, retard. I got the season. Who's the guy who won alone? He's still talking. Even when I make fun of him, he still talks. Who's the guy?

Jordy, the guy who won alone and killed the moose? Yes, who killed the moose. He's like, I'm going to ask him. He talks to me all the time. What is he going to tell you? Just what to do. Kill a moose?

That's what he's going to tell you. I recommend killing a moose with my skills that you don't have. That's what I recommend. Because I recommend having 20 years of experience like me. Josh, I'm going to show like, yeah, dude, I deal with fucking crackheads. Like, why would a fucking like cheetah be any different, dude? I work at a train station, dude. Like, crackheads are just like lions, dude.

I don't know. I just have like anxiety about certain things. And like being out in the nature just doesn't make me nervous at all. You're going to be nude and alone and cold and suffering. I'm not nervous about that. That sounds great. It does sound great, but I'm more scared of the IRS. Until the reality sets in.

Actually, that's a good point. The helicopter out there, I'm going to be shitting my fucking heads. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The helicopter out there. The helicopter. They're going to helicopter to be like shitting my fucking heads. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But like, you know. The helicopter out there. The helicopter. They're going to helicopter you to the middle of nowhere. You realize that, right? And then there's going to be all this night footage of you guys sleeping and like, you

know, there's literally like a bear right next to your tent. Yeah, you'll hear it. You don't even have a tent. What do they do if there's an animal attack? I never know because there's never been an animal attack on the show, but they always show footage of a fucking, like literally a like a fucking cougar right next to where they're

sleeping in the middle of the night. They must have an armed guy. You're not going to get any sleep. You're going to keep waking up and be like, did you guys hear that? All you do is hear like, it's all night. The jungle is a nightmare. I slept outside of Memphis one time with my family. We slept in a, in a park outside of Memphis in a tent.

It was like a, it was like a campsite, but it was outside of like whatever. I didn't even know Memphis had a fucking jungle or whatever the fuck. We were outside in Mississippi of a Mississippi. There didn't even know Memphis had a fucking jungle or whatever the fuck. We were outside of a Mississippi, it was Memphis, Tennessee, Tennessee like jungle. It was insane. It sounded like a jungle. It was just like. Because I know that birdies do it.

You got to hear the fucking, the Burger King meme from an e-bombs world just what a reference a 30 year old i'm a proud millennial from like decades ago decades ago welcome to burger king can i take your order i don't even remember that of course don't, because you have long COVID and you have an AIDS brain. You have the same brain as Al Capone. No, I don't know. I like camping.

I like being outdoors. It's not camping, buddy. They give you nothing. You don't get to show up with stuff. There's no boots. There's nothing. Do we have anything to watch? I feel like we have to...

We got to get off it, but I just want... I like spreading dissent. Well, there's going to be many more updates. We're going to keep people updated. There's going to be an updated thing, the Naked and Afraid. I got my next interview. Do you guys hear this? Okay, so...

Artificial intelligence might fully end all art. Sure, sure yeah which is kind of interesting because uh did you guys hear this this song that artificial intelligence made they made like their own like drake what future song did they make the beat and everything everything's artificial intelligence and it sounds everyone thought it was like a new hit and they were all like this shit's fire like everyone loved it so let's let's play it this is amazing so this shit kind of kicks ass this is a bad quality version but check it out that's like the best thing this was so good that so long. This was so good that Drake and the guy that they said it was, they had to come out and be like, remove this.

This is not us. Like, stop. That was creepy. That was creepily good, right? Yeah. Which brings me to my next point. How great would it be if AI takes over and essentially makes us like a communist, like fascist state where like art is not needed

and you know, there's no point because ai does it better so there's no more rappers you know imagine rappers living in like fascism you know well yeah like drake drake's just like i got the same amount of money it's gonna make everything old i got the same amount of same amount of clothes as you. Oh, boy. Drake's like really afraid and shit. He's like, oh, no. Whole squad lives in bunk beds.

He's like, my whole squad in the bread line. We all waiting for that loaf of bread, y'all. Zero to 100 till we get the bread, huh? And I'm talking about a literal loaf of bread, huh? That'd be great. You can't brag anymore because AI just took your job. It's like truck drivers. Like, you know, eventually truck drivers will be out of a job.

Factory workers will be out of a job. And Drake. I'm wondering, though, because I think music is a little bit more formulaic. I hate to say this, than like a movie. There's more feeling. But that sounded like any Drake song I've heard. Yeah, but Justin, it's the same thing.

But if you upload a billion songs and beats and it can learn voice and it can learn how to rhyme, which isn't that hard, then I could, but try getting it to make a movie. It will make a movie.

If it's doing this now, it's going to make a movie in like 10 years. But will it be good? Songs are easier. Well, I can't it will make a movie if it's doing this now it's gonna make a movie in like 10 years but but will it be good songs are easier yeah well i can't imagine it making a good movie because so much of it relies on all the movies that came before which you could upload but then it has to understand how humans react that's true movies yeah when it's cold when i'm out here in the gulag when it's cold when i'm out here in the breadulag? When it's cold when I'm out here in the bread line? When it's cold when I'm living in a bunk bed?

When it's cold when we all in internment camps? When it's cold when we digging holes for a living? When it's cold, uh, uh. I mean, I can't wait. I want to see so many people imprisoned. This is really what you just want. You want everyone in concentration camps? I want AI to take over and just start putting people in camps.

Every segment is like a segue into how Devin wants people in camps. It's the cage. I just like cages. I really think a lot of people should be just trapped. Coachella's ended. Lock them up. You got nostalgia. Lock them up.

When it's cold. What if it makes a Beatles song? That'll be creepy as fuck. Yeah, they will. I'm sure they have already yeah like type ai beatles song i bet somebody's done this what if it makes like a poignant beautiful beatles song what if it makes like uh what if one day you could just be like hey i want to watch the mummy three and just makes the mummy three or a mummy four what the fuck the beatles creep radiohead jukebox open ai let's see what this is it sounds like still though maybe your computer's up

i think the audio is up on your computer i well we only keep watching it or maybe ai audio this entire production will be staged in the v version of the... Go back to that then. Because still we can... You guys can handle it? Yeah. Okay. Ooh. I'm lonely. Alright, let's get to it, retards.

Alright, well that's obviously a Down Syndrome AI. That's like, it sounded like Sublime. Terrible AI. Artificial intelligence. Do you want to see a nightmare AI thing that I just saw? Yeah, yeah. This is not music, but

Conan O'Brien eats fried chicken and then crashes his car AI. Yeah, type that in. It's a fucking... Conan O'Brien crashes car... Eats fried chicken, crashes car. AI.

There it is, that second one. Oh, come on. You didn't really think that was me, did you, that second one. Oh, come on. You didn't really think that was me, did you? The second one? They're both it. But yeah, so AI made this. It's fucking horrifying. What the fuck?

It doesn't quite look like Conan. Yeah, it's not real. It looks like a Wes Anderson movie. That's a lot of fried chicken. Now fried chicken's... It's nice driving, eating fried chicken. Is this scary to anybody else? It's not really. It's just very fake looking.

It's unsettling. It's unsettling. That's the uncanny valley. Why is he crashing his car in China? That's the prompt. Oh yeah, who fucking knows? Jesus. All right. All right.

Yeah, it's actually giving me a real pit in my stomach. Thank you. That's disgusting. I didn't know if I was just in a weird mood. But, yeah, no, AI. I hope AI takes over everyone's job. Other than podcasters. Hey, AI, try to learn this, I dare you.

AI, pump the brakes. There's no way you could ever achieve the brilliance of podcasters. They're watching videos, they're reacting to it, AI. How about that, dipshit? Hey, robots. Yeah. You ever watch Chinese accidents on the web Telling me a Roomba's gonna take my job

Yeah it's gonna be like 2001 Space Odyssey Where they're like unplugging the fucking computer But it's just us versus an AI Just making cum jokes Whole squad got the same clothes Whole squad wears striped clothes Kevin just wants Holocaust The whole squad on the chain gang The whole squad wears striped clothes. Kevin just wants Holocaust to sing. The whole squad

on the chain gang. The whole squad. On the chain gang. Whole squad being yelled at. Oh, by the way. They yelled at. Whole squad being yelled at by Amazon Alexa.

By the way, I saw a comment that wants you to do a punk rock John's Gun Corner song. Oh, you'd do good. Can you do that? You can do pop punk, dude.

That's like your favorite thing to do is pop punk. Pop punk. No, this guy wanted like... I was thinking more like Bob Dylan Hurricane tonight. You just did that. We did Highway 61. That was my favorite one, by the way. I mean, Hurricane's so fucking...

I can figure Hurricane out. I haven't thought about it much but I want to try Hurricane try Hurricane and then we'll we can try Punk Rock and then do like a Sid Vicious one you and me at the fair

is like the funniest fucking song parody the way that the way that like Lake 182 and those that's Pop Punk the pop punk

yeah where every song was about middle school romance yeah that's us at like 20 it was just like you and me at the fair you were anywhere anywhere

i saw you with him he was feeding you funnel cake just like it's always about like high schoolers like leaving home like pack your bags meet me at the shore i've been i've had running jokes for like 12 years and that's the one yeah other comics got to the Blink-182 stuff first But I was like, whatever But I had my own thoughts on it You and me at the fair, I want to be far away from here I want to be far away from here Pack your bags

Meet me at the shore There was something about your mom and your dad No more mom No more dad We're getting far away dad. No more mom. No more dad. We're getting far away from here. No more mom. No more dad. Dad.

For heaven's sake, no more mom. No more mom. No more dad. To a chick. The divorce hit me like a bag of rocks. Oh, man. Yeah, we could try that at some point. Yeah, that was good. Like a little Blink-186.

John's got a corner. John's gay. He's so fucking gay. Yeah. That could work. You guys, okay, have you seen this conspiracy theory about Anne Heche? We all remember Anne Heche. Heche.

Heche. The actress? She was famed for... I love Anne Heche? We all remember Anne Heche. Heche. Heche. The actress? She was famed for... I love Anne Heche. Actress. I think she was with Ellen for a little bit. Oh, yeah.

She was obsessed with aliens and shit. Well, do you remember she died? Yeah. She died earlier this year. Oh, fuck. She drove her car into a home and it lit on fire. She blew up.

Yeah. She's dead, dude. She was in a Harrison Ford movie. Yeah, with her on the plane. Yeah, yeah, yeah. She was nipping out the whole movie. Yeah, she's on the plane. She was nipping out the whole movie. She's hot, dude. She's hot as fuck.

Her whole... Rest in peace. Anne Heche made a career off nipping out. All she did was nip out. And that's all I want. She's literally in scenes... She's in scenes in John Q where she's denying a kid a heart

and she's like, her nips are hard. That's sick, dude. She's hot as fuck. Yeah. I love that. She's a big dyke. Short.

Short-haired dyke. She was raped by her dad or some shit we don't need to get into that that's not that's neither here nor there i love nh rest in peace but uh some weird footage i saw on uh the old twitter today uh popular actress ann hage was alive and tried to get out of the body bag on a stretcher after her crash. She was later pronounced dead. So this is very interesting. I saw this today, and it's weird. Watch this. And this is the first time we're going to see this victim.

It doesn't look that good. Can you full screen this stuff? Yeah, it does look terrible. And just see if maybe they're just hold on them out of there or if they put them in an ambulance this is what you get for denying john q's kid a heart you fucking bitch cold bitch cold hearted bitch that was going here she goes other side opens it up oh my god he's completely alive what the hell hell? That looks so fake. Is that fake? Joey, is that fake?

That's fake, dude. Why is that fake? That looks like something from Dawn of the Dead. Is that not her? I don't know. She's like, Mister! Mister!

Yeah, that looks... Get me out of here! She wouldn't have hair, bro. She wouldn't have fucking hair, dude. Yeah, she got burned up. She was burned, bro. Devin, what the fuck are you showing us? Is that not her?

What is that? Q shit. Fake news Jew shit? Watch this. Watch this. Look at her, not burned. Fake news Jew shit. Did you say Jew shit? John said Jew.

I didn't say that. I thought you said Jew. Wow, I did not know you guys were Jewish. Joey popped it off. I thought it was Jew. Wow, I did not know you guys were anti-Semitic. Joey popped it off. I thought it was just so funny because it was so random. So I was joining John. I thought he was being silly and absurd. But anyways, what?

John's going to turn the fucking jungle of Thailand all anti-Semitic. I'm going to be the first anti-Semitic member of Naked and Afraid. All these tigers just start fucking supporting fucking Nazis. Well, look at this. I don't know. Look at her, not burned. Listen to her car as they remotely drive it. Her brakes are locked up.

Now, Duke Cappy and Chester Bennington and Avicii. Because she was killed because she was a freedom fighter. She was trying to release information. Of course. I don't know. I don't have any proof behind that, but I'm just saying that. Watch this. Watch don't know. I don't have any proof behind that, but I'm just saying that. Watch this. Watch her fly by.

Her car is being controlled like Michael Hastings. Obviously. And that's a fact. Look at her fly by. Jesus, fuck. Yeah, she... Oh, my God. Was that Anne Heche or one of the damn Kia boys?

Was that... Was that Gertie or Anne Heche? What the hell was this? Tokyo Drift? That was crazy. She was flying, dude. She was flying with her Mini Cooper, too. She thought she was an Italian job.

She's all weighed down by gold. Yeah, she's just driving through the LA River. Yeah, I think she was dead pretty immediately. I don't know about that, John. That video did not prove that. That looked fake. Don't ruin a fake video, okay? AI is everything now, okay? Stephen, you're nuts for thinking that's real. Whole squad

killed Anne Heche. Anne Heche taken out by a robot. This is the best video I've seen in maybe about a decade. Oh, I found this. Yeah, this is a Joseph. I forgot about this. This is my favorite fucking person ever.

Explain it, Joey. Explain it, Joseph. Explain it. So it's just a man on an airplane who is sick of a crying baby. And he treats the baby like it's an adult human. He's like, what an asshole you are. My favorite part about this video is that it's sort of compelling.

Where it's like, if anyone was a little bit less charismatic, you'd be like, oh, this guy has a real issue. But this guy, I'm almost like, yeah, why won't they shut the baby up? The best part of the video is that at the end of it, you're kind of like,

I don't know, I kind of get it. you're kind of like, I don't know. I kind of get it. Yeah. Right. I'm kind of on his side, but he's being a total psychopath. I'm on his side. But I'm actually on his side. Honestly, how about this, folks? I've been on a few planes in my time.

If you have a baby, you don't get to go anywhere anymore. Yeah. No more trips. You don't get to take your fucking, this thing that's still figuring itself out that just is

an insane person. You don't get to carry it onto a fucking train in the sky where everyone has to hear it. Six hour flights

with a fucking baby and I'm trying to watch a movie where Steve Zahn is a trans kid. Fuck you. Well, they don't know how to pop their fucking ears. That's why they cry. There's so much pressure.

And they have no thoughts. Yeah. So enough of them. You don't get to do shit anymore. Drive. New parents. Remember when James Corden paid somebody to put his baby in the belly of the plane

the belly of the plane that's right James Corden paid someone to eat their baby but it was his own baby like he's like and it was his wife like he sent her into the back he's like put it with the luggage belly of the plane

I hate that guy for a million other reasons, but I don't see what's so crazy about that move. I mean, you definitely do. That's a wild thing. I think it was his assistant and his baby. It was his baby. Yeah, I know.

He's trying to sleep. Yeah, because he needs to do carpool karaoke the next day. He's got to be fresh. Why because he needs to do carpool karaoke the next day. He's got to be fresh. He's got to do a flash mob. Why is he not on a private jet? Fucking millionaire retard. Babies can cry on those, too.

Yeah, so. But nobody else is around. No one else is around. That would be worse if he made them fly coach and he went on a private jet. I mean, whatever. He can't win. The poor guy can't win. I'll never be on James Corden's side. I hope that guy is beheaded in front of London. win. I'll never be on James Corden's side. I hope that

guy is beheaded in front of London. Because he's a better singer than you. That's why. Well, he is a better singer. I've never claimed to be a great singer. Even though I have the voice of a songbird. See, I knew you were going to get sensitive about that. I think Devin can out-sing James Corden. I think Devin's a way better singer.

I was just trolling him. I have pipes. You do have pipes. I have pipes. I can belt it out. You can. Anyways, let's watch the Grey's video. Okay, here we go. Southwest flight. A full-grown adult yells,

I paid for it. I paid for it. I paid for it. I paid for it. I paid for it. I paid for it. I paid for it. Oh, no.

That child has been crying for 40 minutes. Over and out. I can't even figure it out. There's a great reveal. Whatever. There's a great reveal. This guy's in heaven. Why is the baby yelling? You want me to scream? You want me to scream? I'll fucking scream. Please stop the baby.

He's saying the baby's yelling. The baby's like, ah! He's acting like the baby's throwing a legitimate adult fit. Yeah. He's like, this baby won't stop yelling about its divorce. If that child was a black baby, what the fuck would be happening right now? There we go. If that child was a crack baby, what the fuck would be happening?

No, he said black baby. Oh, a black baby. Well, what does he mean? He's saying it's a white baby. He's like,? If that child was a crack baby, what the fuck? No, he's a black baby. Oh, a black baby. Well, what does he mean? He's saying it's a white baby. He's like, well, if it was a black baby, they would never let him yell like that. If it was a black baby, they would spray it. They'd make it sit in the back of the plane. If it was a black baby, they'd bring out a Capri Sun and spray it like it's in the

Civil Rights Movement. What does he mean? What's the difference? James Corden's in First Class Cooking like, I get it. I think he's making sense. If it was a black baby, people would be trying to take pictures of it thinking it's the Carter III. I know you're not going there. You're not going there.

I'm fucking going there. We're not in Florida yet. It can't do what the fuck it feels like. Here's a testament to being a funny black dude that's angry is that he got way more time on that plane. Oh, yeah. Like, he got to put on a show. This was like the Apollo.

I mean, look at how happy the guy filming him is. This guy's like, I'm kind of on your side. This kicks ass. Yeah, he knows how good this is. If this was me, no one would like me. They'd be like, slimy Sicilian piece of shit. Screamed at a baby. His pea brain couldn't comprehend that it was a baby. He screamed at it like it was a full grown adult.

Black guy, everyone goes, that's pretty funny. He's being really funny, though. But he's also being funny. But he's got this catatonic white piece of shit wife with him the whole time. I didn't know he was black at all. He's like dating. I hope she apologized after this, by the way, for not having his back. No, he's like dating like Austin Reeves.

Interesting. You have to serve me anything. No, you have to serve me anything. I'm trying to keep my confidence if I wasn't on this plane. Because there's a child trying on the flight. God fucking stop.

Okay. That's what's happening. Who's worse? A baby or a grown man can't act like this? Can you show her that voice? No, that's not. No, no, no, no, no.

No. Let's be rational. Hold on, hold on. You want to be rational? No, no, no, no, no, no. Don't tell me what the fuck I'm doing. Let's be rational. We are in a fucking tin can with a baby in a goddamn echo chamber.

Yeah, dude. Yes. Okay, because you're yelling. So is the baby. It's the baby. He's yelling too. I've never seen a guy make better points, but you can't take it seriously because it's a baby.

He's making such good points of being so wrong. But he's so wrong because it's a baby. It's like a Patrice O'Neal take. But he's being Patrice, but it's like if Patrice didn't comprehend that babies aren't adults. It's like when you know you're wrong, but you're desperate to make a point, and you're really funny and likable. He's like, this whiny motherfucker. This crying ass bitch. Cry baby ass bitch

selfish motherfucker it has no clue where it is the ego on this fucking baby it's like taking a cricket on a flight it has no clue where it is I used to make this joke about abortion all the time but like if you held a gun to my head for the first year of my life I'd have no clue

like you could hold a gun and be like, I'm going to fucking kill you, you fucking faggot. To a baby. And I'd be like, I would never remember a thing, so why would killing me matter? That's all I'm saying. Pfft.

Did that motherfucker pay extra to you? Look at his wife. Fuck you and shut up. His wife's been with him so long, she's developing kind of nappy hair. She has curl hair. She looks like Allen Iverson

after he took his braids out. Oh no. I don't give a fuck. You were sitting there watching that motherfucking baby cry for 40 pounds. That shit didn't have nothing to do with nothing. Fuck lower that baby's voice. Nothing to do with nothing. I love that.

He just starts doing like Coach Carter speech. He's like, our deepest fear is that we're inadequate. He's like, to the baseline, Mr. Cruz. He's about to get so funny that they're going to throw the baby out. They literally stop. They stop even talking to him. And this black

flight attendant is basically like, he's like, I get it, young brother. I get it. He's like, we can't say it, but I'm with you. Oh, yeah, they're about to turn this baby into tomato juice. I'm sorry, y'all. Fuck the recipe. I'm sorry.

I'm triggered. Fuck that. I'm triggered. Fuck, yeah. Fuck that baby. If they put cuffs on that kid, I'm good with going to jail. He said put cuffs on that kid. He goes as long as they put cuffs on that kid, I'm good with going to jail.

He thinks the baby should be arrested. I get it. Lock the baby up. Lock that motherfucking baby up. Motherfucker. Imagine yelling for a baby to be put in prison cuff the baby it's a baby i love this guy i love it though because it's like you pay so man flying it's like you pay so much you get there it's a hell you go through tsa they just like whip you they

poke you with sticks they just like pull your pants down they fucking like give you like a dry hand job it's a horrific experience they just treat you like utter shit it's the only time in your life where you have to like have like a mcdonald's employee like like have the upper hand on you and and they just talk to you it's really it's true it's the only time like a time a guy that makes a million dollars a year has to let somebody, like some jaded asshole, just be like, pull your fucking pants down. Yeah, we gonna slide a credit card to

your asshole. It's crazy. They look at all your stuff. You walk through, they laugh at your tiny cock. It's a nightmare. It's a nightmare. You know they're doing that, right? I've gone through TSA and I've looked over a few times and I'm like. It's a nightmare. It's a nightmare. You know they're doing that, right? I've gone through TSA and I've looked over a few times

and I'm like, it's a cold day. Fuck you. And then you gotta deal with this shit. And all you wanna do is watch Wild with fucking Reese Witherspoon. You just wanna watch

Reese Witherspoon buy hiking boots and go to REI. That's what you wanna do. You're on a plane and you think that's a good movie. Yeah. You just want to watch Reese Witherspoon buy hiking boots and go to REI. That's what you want to do. You're on a plane, you think that's a good movie. You're on a plane. Movies on planes, you're high. No matter what you watch is great. When you're on a plane, no matter what you're watching kicks ass. I'll sit there, I'll watch

Jim Cramer yell about stocks on a plane. I'm like, wow, he's amazing. That guy's like a retard. Hey, yes. You are motherfucking right because nobody was looking to talk to somebody.

That's fine. That's fine. I love the way this guy's talking. He's like, he's really doing the motherfucking, like, motherfucking, motherfucking this, motherfucking,

he's like, I gotta, he's like, I'm not missing the snowfall finale, motherfucker. He goes goes this baby gonna keep me from franklin saint i'm out i'll smother that motherfucker look at his wife like i said let's be honest look at his wife why Like I said, let's be honest. Look at his wife. Why is her hair like that? Because she's tried to make it. Yeah, she's trying to look. White women sometimes have frizzy hair. White women with black guys turn into that somehow. I think the black guy's like, I don't know, spray it with also it's a frizzy shit.

Bitch. They go, bitch. She's got red hair too. Oh, she's red, yeah. I mean, that's not even, is got red hair too you know yeah oh she's a red yeah i mean that that's not even is that even a partner in life or is that like a slave that's why he's actually yelling he's actually one he goes look at the bitch i'm sitting with yeah he's got a white slave this is patrice's joke come full circle like thank god for like i'm happy for this man he has a white slave look at that fat bitch. She looks like she's made of hamburger

helper. Her hair, she's just, she has the same hair as Latrell Sprewell. That's beautiful. That's reparations right there. You get a big fat white bitch that cooks you dinner every night. She like barely gets on you when you're yelling at a baby. He's yelling at a baby.

He's on a flight yelling at a baby to the point it's a viral video the whole world's watching and she's barely calming down i bet she forgave him like on the car right oh you know oh there's no need oh yeah no oh she's not even mad yeah yeah she didn't say anything they landed and she got him chick-fil-a i'm so sorry about. She brought him right back to their fucking condo, put him in a bubble bath, and then she went and got Chick-fil-A. And then she let him suck her titties while he bathed.

But he made her put a bag over her head, too, because he's like, I don't want to see that ugly shit. Give me your titty, bitch. That baby motherfucking annoying as hell. I'm the baby now, bitch. I'm the baby now i'm the baby now bitch you think a baby knows these techniques he goes he goes i lick the nipple before i suck it bitch

this whole flight just looks like Burt Kreischer fans. Yeah. Yeah. The baby stopped crying. He's right. He's right. He's now taking credit. He's like, yeah, the baby knew I wasn't fucking around, motherfucker. You're welcome. You're welcome.

He's yelling at the flight now. You're welcome. He's yelling at the flight now. You're welcome. He goes, the baby learned. Did the flight circle while they had the argument? I think it did, yeah. It circled outside the ocean. Yeah. Get off the plane. This kicks ass.

A 48-year-old man versus a baby. So now we're all getting to play. That's what the video should be called. He's so awesome. He's so pissed off. I really get it, though. I'm so on his side. The name of the episode should be Man vs. Baby. He doesn't back down, dude.

I know, I love how... Look at his wife. She's like, oh my god. I just don't know. I don't know what to do. Yeah. He tried to prove his case that he had a right to yell because there was two adults with a crying baby, and he shouldn't have been disturbed. Oh, shit. He's yelling at them. He goes, he's like, he's like, it's a fucking tiny man making fucking noise, dog.

This little tiny man is screaming up a storm. Are you talking to me? There's a miniature human talking shit. I get that, though. That's the beautiful thing about rage. Rage is a glorious thing. Because it can make you, it can win people over like we're on his side and we know he's completely wrong yeah because there's such passion because there's the passion

is beautiful pat nothing is better than passion you know their passion can get you out of any it can win you over so much because i'm on this guy guy's side, but I'm like, but then I have to like take myself out of it for a second. He's in a fight with a baby. And I go, well, he's yelling at a grown adult about a baby on a flight and he thinks he looks good. But because he has so much passion and just indignance over it, it's like, I get it, I guess. Like, I'm going to pretend I don't know babies are babies. Yeah, there's truth to every argument. His truth that moment, he was highly annoyed.

Highly annoyed. Highly annoyed. And also, we didn't see the whole thing. That baby could have not shut the fuck up for 40 minutes. I wouldn't have annoyed anyone. It obviously did. I don't think this guy does that. Parent your baby, dude.

Yeah, it did. It wouldn't shut up. How can you not stop a baby from crying in 40 minutes? You've been on a flight where a baby won't stop crying. I've been on flights where babies won't stop crying for hours. Not 45 minutes. I've been on flights flight where a baby won't stop crying. I've been on flights where babies won't stop crying for hours. Like, not 45 minutes. I've been on flights where a baby literally won't shut up for hours on end, and you just put on a shitty movie. You put

on Dog with Channing Tatum, and you fucking hope it takes you away. You know, you order a couple IPAs. That's what I do. You go to the bathroom, you fucking... Put your headphones on. You fucking vape some weed, whatever the fuck you do, you just get through it. But this man is at a point where he's like, I don't watch movies. I don't read the Southwest fucking pamphlet.

I sit in silence and I think. And this motherfucking baby's fucking up my thoughts. I mean, who sits on a flight with no headphones on? That's psychotic. That's deranged behavior. Well, let's not shame him. I'm not. He's in the right, but he's wrong. But I'm sayinganged. Well, let's not shame him. I'm not. He's in the right, but he's

wrong. But I'm saying because of passion, he's in the right. Because passion wins over everybody. He could have forgot his headphones or he lost them in a bag or something. The thing's happened. We're being unfair today. Remember when they would give you headphones? They'll give you some headphones. Those headphones suck. They're bad. They're terrible headphones.

They're terrible headphones. So anyway, let's finish this. Well, that's probably not how his wife imagined their forward-gaming goal. Look, they don't even arrest him. No, they just take him away. They're like, let's walk outside. They go, sir. Like, we agree with you, but we have to.

Let's get out of here. Sir, they go, Phoenix Airport would like to fund a comedy special. We're going to present you with some jeans with your face airbrushed on them. Sir, we would love to put on a comedy special with you. Oh, real quick. Papa Rogan back in the news. Oh, hell yes. I missed this kid.

Papa Rogan talking more shit. Oh, and Benjamin posted it somehow, too. But, yeah, let's listen to pop pop pop a rogan shit all over joe and he knows that he can't be a cop they have their own podcast yeah they're doing like the whatever podcast yeah dude but it's just like joe rogan's dad being like he's a fucking cunt i hope it's called like the rogan experience the yeah the the yeah isn't his name joe rogan called like the rogan experience the yeah the the yeah isn't his name joe rogan i think it was yeah yeah is it still is but they never say they never call him joe rogan but he should be going like it's called the joe rogan experience and there's nothing you can do legally he should sue his

son he should sue joe because he's like that's my show yeah if he called the joe rogan podcast that'd be hilarious right exactly podcast can you rewind it all the way I want to see what he said about this Oh god He's calling him gay He's calling Joe gay Is that Dana White It's just an average New York retard

With a fucking giant head full of fucking slurs. You got all the karate in the world. You know, all the dojos you want. You have all the weights you want. But when you're born, if you don't have this, you better stay the hell home. If you ain't got heart, you ain't gonna do shit out there. Yeah. Joe's a phony.

Joe has sugar in his tank? I bet on it. I'm telling you right now, I'm not like, I'm the fuck. Joe's no G. That's it. Can we get the whole clip? You can't look that up on YouTube or something? Let's look it up.

Also, it's so funny because he's saying Joe does karate. Joe did taekwondo. He doesn't even know what his own son... I mean, he's a fucking ancient Italian man. He's like, you know, every martial arts karate... He abandoned his son, doesn't know anything

about him, and now he's gay bashing him on a podcast. He's got sugar in his tank. I can't find the newest clip that we just watched on YouTube, but yeah, his dad hates him. John, you should go on their podcast. I'm going to go on their podcast.

Hell yeah. Should we do a John's Gun Corner? Sure. Sure. All right. I'm still at John's Gun Corner. I'm excited for this. Drink my warm beer.

Let me have some of mine. Yeah, I think the bubble wrap's insulating it. I want to tell the folks, I'm running out of steam here. I have really a lack of ammo to work with, but I'm trying my best each week. Don't be insecure, dude. You're doing great. Fat Gantt and Highway 61 is my favorite song That you've ever done Yeah

It was pretty good It was pretty good I guess You're gonna get really clever With this Let's try this out Oh yeah John's gonna corner me Hate Watch Podcast

He's a real hurricane of AIDS Oh yeah Pistol shots ring out in a Barrel room night Enter the cops from the upper Hall She sees John in a pool of Cups

Bartender cries out he raped them all Here comes the story Of the man who's gay The cops the authorities claim, gave the mates for something that they never done. But in a prison cell, his asshole gets opened up like a Kit Kat bar. John's gun corner Three bodies lying and John knows why

He fucked them in the ass until they lost consciousness Cop screams out, hey, this one's not dead Let's fuck him in his ass until he is Here comes the story of the man who's gay. The man the authorities claim gave a maze for something that he never really did. His dick

is leaking like a sink. You don't know what to do with this man. He's got STDs. That was very fucking funny. Holy shit, bro. I fucked it up. No, I was fine. I had some thoughts in my head right before starting, and I messed it all up.

A pool of cum guy. So humble. So humble, yeah. Humble every time, but always good. I love Joey's gun corner voice. Always good every time, but he's humble. Good you have the guns. Yeah, pull them out.

Okay. Great, great, great. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Oh, welcome. Welcome to John's Gun Corner. Devin is unhinged tonight. He's screaming his head off.

Welcome to John's Gun Corner. First question. A couple of guns pointed at us. Yeah. Question number one. If John could shoot bullets out of either his big fat titties, his tiny gay penis, or his floppy retarded asshole, what caliber would it be and what would it sound like? Also, I was going to ask that question before, but felt it wasn't up to snuff and held off until inspiration hit me in the CVS drive-thru picking up my anti-psychotics from Max C.

Okay. My cock would shoot a.22. What would it sound like? Pew, pew. Okay, pew, pew, pew. .22 from his cock. Next question. Very good, very good.

This is kind of similar. If you had to replace one part of your body with a gun, what gun would it be and why? What body part? This is literally the same fucking question from a different guy. This is a little different. Maybe replace your big fat tits with a gun. Oh, there we go. And you'd probably weigh less overall from Fred S.

I would have a big machine gun arm. You know what I mean? Okay. That's the way to go. So a machine gun arm and a.22 on his cock. That's a great question. Very good questions, guys. You're doing great, guys.

You're doing great, guys. Tactical question for John. Here's question number three. Since Haspel was in Los Angeles recently, how would John execute a plan to kidnap him and bring him to you so you can finally unite with your long lost son?

Oh, this is great. How many men would he need to carry out the operation? Would he attempt to kidnap in a hotel while he's being driven? Perhaps another point of attack. Thanks a bunch. Much love for the crew. Carlos Garcia. Great question, Carlos. That's a great crew. Carlos Garcia. Great question, Carlos. Okay, so.

That's a great question, Carlos. Very good question, Carlos. You keep it up, buddy. Keep that up, bud. And, okay, so how big do you think his security detail is? He has big, scary Dagestanis. I know, big, scary Dagestanis. So it has to be at where he did the signing, because we don't know where the fuck he's

going to be otherwise, unless we figure out his hotel. But I feel like the public is going to be at the signings. It's going to be easier to get him there. But it's going to be a less soft target, right? Because all security's on edge, everything. You just got to go in with a bunch of guns. So you come in with a hit crew. Yeah, you got to go in with like,

you got to go in with the heat crew, basically. You got to walk in there and punch a dagger standing in the head and be like, just let it bleed, let it bleed, let it bleed. Get on the ground. So you're coming in with a team with guns, heavily armed. You put Haswell in the duffel bag, just like in heat. You literally see me walking out of the front like Val Kilmer.

I'm smiling. You're like Tom Sizemore with the giant duffel bag. I'm smiling at you in the car. I'm like, oh, we got it. And then I look up, and I see Pacino. And who's the black dude with the shotgun he was the baseball guy from I can't remember

they are 15 very good very good let's see next question I did find Blink-182 instrumentals by the way I didn't even know they had these do you want to do a little break and then do one of those we can try I don't know what I got though.

Let's do Missy. Missy's the slow one, dude. Let's see. Hello! I'm so gay! Yeah. Wow, this really is like the real Mr. Mills

You got it, Doug Hello there The angel From my gay nightmare Shadow in the background of the morgue The unsuspecting Victim That I anally rape.

I cannot sleep. I cannot wait tonight until I cum in your ass. My name is John. And people ask me all the time about what the best gun to use is. We can live like Jack and Sally, but I'll live in the valley if I want And we'll have Halloween on Christmas and give each other AIDS every night AIDS every night Don't waste your time on me, you're already the gayest guy in town

Miss Hillman Don't waste your time on me, You're already the gayest guy in town. I miss you, miss you. Hey John, how would an AR-15 work in a combat experience? I don't know! Ha ha! Because he doesn't know anything. Oh yeah. Uh huh. Uh anything. Oh, yeah.

Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Oh, yeah. Shitting out anal beads every night. I miss everybody that used to like me before I came out as gay. They didn't accept me Because I lied For so Fucking long

I'm 40 I finally Told people I'm gay Finally did it And I miss them I miss all my former Friends that abandoned Me in my time of AIDS

That was offensive. That was good. That was pretty bad. You need a more upbeat. I know, I know. I like it. I'm working with two jokes here. It was good.

I got two jokes. It was great. Fat and gay. Fat and gay. It's pretty hard. It's meat and potatoes every fucking week. We got to jokes. That was great. Fat and gay. Fat and gay. It's pretty hard. It's meat and potatoes every fucking week. Yeah. You know, we got to come up with a new segment.

We'll do two more questions. I think we got to do John's Gone Corner, and then we got to come up with a new segment so I can get some news. Sure, sure, sure. You know, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. John has to fight the Bone Crusher, but he only has a stun gun. Could he defeat him without getting his skull crushed? From Enzo in Holland.

Hey! Mamma mia, Enzo, our Italian. Mam crushed? From Enzo in Holland. Hey! Mamma mia, Enzo, Italian. I'm in Holland. I fuck women that stare through a glass. This is hard because me and Bonecrusher have been growing close lately. Yeah, but just think about it. Realistically, you have a stun gun. I got a taser or a stun gun?

He said stun gun. I mean, I win. He's like, fuck, I can hit him like 30 feet away. I mean, he's quick, though, dude. He's quick, and a lot of people can... If we're on grass, I'm fucked. Why grass? Because I feel like he'd be able to duck and shit.

The bone crusher is going to be... He doesn't care about concrete. Yeah, the bone crusher, nothing hurts the bone crusher. He's invincible. I'll text him in the morning and he'll be like, I wish I could crush more bones today. It's crazy. He's unhinged. The guy just wants to break bones every day. I've texted with

John called the bone crushers. Me, the bone crusher, and John. Look at the picture that we have. John and look at the picture that we have. It's a bone with a line through it.

Like a no smoking but it's no bone. It's a great group text. So you shoot the bow. It's a drama. It's up in the air. It's hard to tell. Kind of a cock answer. Last question. Kind of a cuck answer. Okay. Last question. Kind of a cuck

answer. This is JP Ryder Morgan. Love you, JP. Fan favorite. Okay, Joey, here goes. This week, to make things a little different, my gun corner question goes to both Devin and Joey. And Richie, if he's there. Richie's in rehab still.

He's at, what is it called? He's in the Malibu Center. Paradise. Yeah. He's milking. Yeah, he's getting milked by a pool somewhere. Wow. I mean, he's already recovered, but he just likes that.

He likes hanging out. He's with Eric Roberts right now. They're both vaping. He really just likes Eric Roberts. Yeah. Okay. Let's pretend John's birthday was in a week, and you guys decide to get him a gun. Which one would it be, knowing John and the things that he likes?

John can't tell you which weapon he wants. Once you guys pick the weapon, ask John if you guys got it right or not. Cheers, boys. What do we do again? What? You pick a boy gun. What would you buy me, bud? Oh.

I'd buy you a hooker gun. One of those little tiny ones that go in your boat and joey your answer when you're at the brothel you pull it out and you kill like a the gayest really you pull out yeah you kill the guy's trying to rape me you kill a guy with like yeah like a bb gun a little tiny baby baby i become monster yeah you're getting i'm about to get in the truck you're being raped by like the bad guy in tombstone who just when he gets drunk tombstone. When he gets drunk, he's shooting in the air.

Billy Bob Thornton's raping you. I would buy John a gun. It would be an AR-15. But it's got a bump stock made out of anal beads. You shoot anal beads at people. Well, it dispenses

wrench dressing. So it's not an actual Well, it dispenses ranch dressing. So it's not an actual gun, it's just a squirt gun. It's a squirt gun for ranch. It's an anal bead bump stock and the grip is made out of a dildo. Alright, I'm taking Devin's gun.

The hooker gun, right? It's better. Wait, what? It's better. It's an actual gun, dude. Yeah, you gave him a gun that doesn't even shoot bullets. You gave me a super soaker with ranch. Yeah, right? It's better. Wait, what? It's better. It's an actual gun, dude. Yeah, you're not. You gave him a gun that doesn't even shoot bullets. You gave me a super soaker with ranch. Yeah, but it has unlimited ranch. You gave him a gun that shoots like dildos. Yeah, what the fuck? Why would you use that?

Well, because you never have to buy ranch again. I mean, that's tempting. So my gun wins. No, I think I'm still going to take that with a gun. Still going with Devin's rude, rude, rude. I think... Okay, let me see if this works. Don't waste your time on me.

I'm already the gayest guy in town. That was the funniest shit. Just farted. Fuck. You farted? Yeah. Yeah, imagine that on naked and afraid oh dude it's gonna be wild

sticking out the jungle well my ass cheeks they're uh they're so flappy you know you have like really this is like a

you have like muscular dystrophy ass cheeks ass cheeks the guy's been a bitch they hang they're just like flaps have you seen my you've seen my

yeah it looks like fucking flapsable gogi just hang my ass looks like the pancakes that you fucked up. Yeah. And they're like, those are the ones that you served last. Your ass looks like Korean pancakes, like Korean quesadillas. The ones with the fucking... With the scallions on it.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. We got to go back to Wii Spot, bud. Do we? Yeah, please kick ass. It was okay. It was kind of annoying. It was fun. It was fine.

It was nice and relaxing. Big Blaze, I It was fine. It was nice and relaxing. Big plays, I guess. We stayed in that place. Saw a lot of cocks in there. A lot of old Asian cocks. Yeah. Yeah. That was the last question.

That was it. Okay. Is that it? All right. Well, I guess we'll wrap this thing up. Head to the Patreon. Patreon.com slash hatewatchpodcast. Join us over there.

We have a lot of great stuff. We do a lot less hatewatchy stuff on the Patreon. It's a lot more personal, vulnerable, you know, ourselves, deeper stories. Yeah. I highly recommend checking it out. I think our last few months of episodes have been really good. A lot of people message me and go, your patreon is better than your youtube well that's fine i mean i get what they're saying uh because they love us already to pay so they like they're hearing more like more of us you know personally we're doing it we're doing a show

here it's like you know we're not doing fucking sing songs and fucking gags and stuff. The Patreon's more like, you know, we really just call each other worthless pieces of shit. We attack each other on a vicious level, and I highly recommend checking it out. So, patreon.com slash hatewatchpodcast John Badman

on Instagram. Joey R. LaFleur on Instagram. Devin James Cost on Instagram Anything to say Joseph? The Patreon I plugged it a million times Did you say the link? Patreon.com slash hatewatchpodcast I don't know if you said it

I forgot No that's okay I don't think you did Don't waste your time on us Just join the Patreon Thanks for listening folks We love you so much Good night join the Patreon. Thanks for listening, folks. We love you so much.

I'm so scared of my teeth getting taken out by that fucking thing one day.