Hate Watch with Devan Costa - My Compound
Episode Date: May 15, 2023Chucky gets a free pass from the LAPD, John had a college roommate arrested by the FBI, Joey tells a story about the time he had a slave in college that tried to stab him, we discuss Waco and try out ...a new segment Get weekly bonus episodes: https://www.patreon.com/HateWatchPodcast
Transcript
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It's good to be in something from the ground floor.
I came too late for that.
I know.
But lately I'm getting the feeling
that I came in at the end.
The best is over.
Many Americans, I think, feel that way.
Dude, I got fucking tons of slack, dude.
No, I just need you guys
to just give me,
just work with me for the first time ever.
You act like we're going to turn off the basketball game and put on Wacom.
I'm pissed off he's talking like this.
No, I'm not.
How often we've worked with you, dipshit?
Yeah, this is fucking news.
How do you work with me?
Throughout your entire life.
What have you done for me?
Your entire life.
What have you done for me?
I moved in so that you wouldn't be alone.
Oh, right.
Gas lighter.
I moved in so you wouldn't be alone. Yeah. Don't Gaslighter. You wouldn't be alone.
Yeah.
John's been holding your hand every step of the way the whole way through your entire life.
I let you come with me to work when I was delivering food
so you wouldn't be alone.
Oh, you are such a retard.
You're a good friend.
What a gaslighting asshole.
I fucking, what else did I do for you?
I let you move in.
He's constantly, I let him use my gym.
You let me move in so that you would feel more powerful
in a powerless situation.
Joey always uses the gym thing against me too, but he gets upset at me like a father if I don't show up.
Well, yeah, he wants you to be in peak physical condition.
I want you because you're strong.
I don't want you to get all weak and wither away.
Yeah, because he knows the apocalypse is coming.
Because I care about you.
You're our boy.
You're going to get gang-bombed.
You're a little boy.
Am I your baby boy?
Yeah, yeah.
I'm your baby boy.
And we're going to let you watch the basketball game tonight. Sure. You're a little boy. Am I your baby boy? I'm your baby boy. We're going to let you watch the basketball game tonight.
Sure.
You're a son.
Yeah, you're a precious baby little otter.
I mean, it could be a blowout.
We could just go down and do the Patreon.
I bet you'd love a blowout.
I just need Joey to not get blackout drunk before 10 so we can do the Patreon after this.
That's all.
Why can't we do the Patreon blackout drunk?
Yeah, that's what I'm kind of curious about, too.
Because then the next day you always hit me up and you go, I look like a fool.
No.
But it's my cross to bear.
Yeah, I'm just saying, you're not as good.
I don't know.
Sometimes on your Blackout you're hilarious, and other times you do a thing where you just go like, go on, go on.
Yeah, I'm letting you have the floor.
Yeah.
It's the Baywatch Wizard.
Devin Costa.
Yeah. You need to be doing the majority of the work.
You can't be relying on me.
In what world do I not do the majority of the work on this stupid fucking show?
Well, when I'm sitting here kind of having to do these big segments,
coming up with segments, getting corners, going on social media,
calling in bomb threads.
I'm getting shoe on the pod.
I'm getting guests. I'm bringing in
trained actors.
Johnny Depp, the Russian.
I'm kind of juggling a ton of
huge bits. I think you're a highly valuable
member of a lot of
things that have happened here. I have certainly earned
being able to black out.
I coordinate, bring a ton
of comedy. It is hilarious to go joey i just
need you to not be blackout drunk two hours a week it's still like once every other week well
it's like it's like it's like you know that flower that blooms once every hundred years exactly that's
every friday for joey yeah yeah like it's like trying to stop a nap it's like trying to stop a
hurricane kind of i guess i wouldn't have it any other way. I'm just saying.
You're asking for a bit much.
It hurt a little bit, but it's fine now.
Fine now.
Your brain seems good.
It's going great.
I didn't lose consciousness or anything,
but I think I got my bell rung a little bit.
If you're a black guy like that,
you're going to be a little concussed.
He hit the G-spot in your ass?
He hit the G-spot in my ass.
My bell got rung.
My bell got rung.
So I was single-leg.
I had a very violent single-leg takedown done to me by a 215-pound man
who looked like a college football running back.
I kind of blame myself for this.
I should have been teaching you sprawls.
I'm good at sprawling, but this guy had such explosive fucking power.
Diarrhea.
Devin's really killing it tonight.
You're really...
What if I tank...
Let the men speak, Devin.
Anyway, so...
I can't be blacked out for this.
Should I tank the...
I want to see...
I want to do, like, a Kobe Game 7 where I refuse to shoot.
And see how it goes.
We'll just wheel you right out in that chair.
There's a clip here. What do you guys think?
Perfect.
We don't need you.
And you guys try and talk about it and I go, that was great.
What do you guys think of this clip?
You guys talk about it for like 30 seconds.
I go, good job.
Good job, guys.
No, in all honesty, have you guys seen this?
The actor that played Chucky is a pedophile.
There's an actor that played him?
It was a doll.
The voice.
Famous for his role, the voice of Chucky.
He's a legitimate little...
Is he a midget?
He's a little tiny man.
He looks like the Men in Black alien in the head.
Wait, they actually got a dwarf?
He's a little tiny man.
Any size person could do that. No, he was in the suit, dude. And they came in... Oh, alien in the head. Wait, they actually got a dwarf? He's a little tiny man. Any size person could do that.
No, he was in the suit, dude. And they came
in. Oh, yeah, the suit. Yeah, he was in
the suit. He was in the suit.
And they went, the cops broke into his place
because he was,
they found out he was an online child predator.
Well, he's a child himself. But they busted
in and they saw how fucked
up he was and they just let him be.
They're like, never mind. They go, you know what?
You're the only pedophile that's allowed.
It's like the Wizard of Oz.
They will open the curtain.
They're like, he's so tiny.
Who else is he supposed to be attracted to?
He's so fucked up. He's Chucky.
They're like, boys, put your guns down.
We're going home. Let's get the fuck
out of here. How would they even incarcerate him?
He'd be used like a flashlight. Let's get the fuck out of here. How would they even incarcerate him? I don't know.
He'd be used like a flashlight.
Let's watch the video.
Let's watch the video.
Oh, it's on video?
Yeah.
Why the fuck? Why every day, every other day, it goes out of my fucking computer headphones.
Change.
God damn Apple.
Otters don't understand technology.
No, they're used to clams.
Devin understands sea urchins
inside and out.
You know what, John?
You know, I hate you.
I don't even know...
How do I go to the sound?
Talk!
Dude, be entertaining! yeah that was the worst ever no i'm not supposed to be a host well let's take your name off the show yeah uh
supposed to be a role player what what the hell i'm supposed to be like a high like a like a like
a like a like a like a member like a star but i'm
one of the guys yeah like yeah because you're not one of the guys normally you know what i mean
pretend to be one i'm like i'm like clay thompson before he got bad i don't know who that is dude
of course you don't of course you don't because you're not you don't care about sports was he
real did he not know how to use computers? You're Nancy.
Alright, here's Chucky getting arrested for pedophilia,
but then they're like, ah, he's fucked up.
Just let him be. This kid.
Well, you have proof, so I gotta say yes.
How many do you think?
Can you make it bigger?
You don't have to be 100%
accurate. Just give me a ball. Thank you.
Give me a ball. Look at that.
9,842. I'm gonna say 10.
What is that? 9,842? That's the amount
of child porn he has on his computer?
I think he's being
sarcastic. 10 kids
that you talk sexually online.
I guess. Is he being interviewed by Howard Stern?
Boston Borders started catching pedophiles.
Did they bring Sokar Sardi up in?
Timothy Chalamet.
To catch Chucky?
That's what you remember?
No.
So there is more?
No.
There's definitely no more than ten.
The ten kids. It's like you're asking me my weight right now? Okay. There's definitely no more than 10. The 10 kids?
It's like you're asking me my weight right now?
Okay.
This is crazy.
So they're like, so only 10?
There's only 10 kids you have on your computer?
And he's like, yeah, just 10.
And they're like, all right, you're fucked up.
They pat him on the head.
They just leave.
The last time I was weighed was too long ago.
And I weigh 127.
I'll tell you I weigh about 120.
How old were these 10 kids?
Oh, that I couldn't tell you.
That I could not tell you.
What was the youngest?
He's on oxygen.
That I could not tell you.
But I will say, all under 18.
He's so tiny, the oxygen probably pumps his limbs up.
Yeah, he moves like a tarantula.
It's like air.
It's like it's...
Yeah, it's...
It's like going to the gas station.
You need to put air in a tire.
He needs the oxygen tank so his legs
have like...
He's pressurized by air. Yeah, he needs an
inflated body or else he would
be a concave midget.
He said right here
red
will match your butts.
Oh, so you're going to spank him so hard until his butt is red?
No, I don't have to spank him hard.
Oh, my God.
That's what you just said.
You said his butt's going to be red.
Yeah, but look at me.
Watch my hand.
You know, you can do that.
And my hand will turn red.
They're literally not, they don't charge him because they're like,
he couldn't do anything to a kid because he's so disabled.
Yeah, kids would just fuck him up. Yeah. yeah they're like you'd actually get your ass how did they get into a four-year-old well he's a midget so it's really they found him on they i think they
tracked him through the internet through his online child the house is too small so they had
a warrant or he let them in they probably just wanted to meet they They're like, we're big fans of Chucky. Go get your autograph before we get out of here.
Just do this.
And it will come right
half the time.
You know what I mean?
So fucking weird.
Man.
LAPD refused to make an arrest
due to his health conditions.
That's crazy.
So you can get away with
crazy crimes
if you have a health condition?
Vincent Patriarca,
the head of the
Patriarca crime family,
he had a heart condition.
They didn't get him
to go to prison. That's's so there were a ton of
people to death in prison he would just i like that yeah kofid let a ton of prisoners like really
bad people out of prison that is true yeah yeah i like that he's fucking you do something crazy
kill a bunch of people and then you just go like, I got the flu.
Guys, officer, there's an explanation.
I had a flu headache.
Chris Henslick, why don't you take a seat right over here and just start fake coughing.
I got cancer, Chris.
I got cancer.
Well, that was interesting to me.
I didn't know that the LAPD would just not arrest a pedophile.
I didn't know that either. HadD would just, like, not arrest a pedophile. I didn't know that either.
Had no idea about that.
No idea.
I mean, I don't think you raped any kids, though.
I think they just put you on, like, probation and shit.
Yeah, but it's still illegal.
Yeah, it's illegal.
But I don't think they, like, throw you in jail if you're just, like, talking to little kids online.
I think you need to have attempted to meet them.
Yeah.
I think if you have child porn or you, like, just talk to them.
You need child porn or you need to be attempting to meet. If you're distributing or making child have child porn or you, like, just talk to them. You need child porn or you need to be attempting to meet.
If you're distributing or making child porn, then they'll, like, put you in prison.
But if you're just, like, downloading it and talking to kids online, I think they just, like.
No, you can't download it.
No, you can.
My roommate in fucking college, remember?
He got fucking arrested for downloading.
Oh, tell that story.
Have I not told that story?
You have, but not with the new listeners.
Oh, the new listeners?
Not with the KFC soda bag in front of us.
Let me get you some soda.
Get some soda in him.
It's his spinach.
Can I drink it straight from the nipple?
That's John's.
What soda is it?
Popeye needs his spinach.
What soda is this?
Pepsi.
It's Pepsi.
Pepsi's the best.
Pepsi's better than Coke.
It's completely flat.
Anyway, so...
Of course.
It's in a big bag.
That's meant for chicken so uh yeah i remember i had this roommate in college my first roommate and uh we would like
the story starts you go yeah this roommate in college he was always fucking kids
fucking children no he was weird dude i remember like you know when you first meet someone you're
just like oh he's from like a like a different place he was from miss dude. I remember like, you know, when you first meet someone, you're just like, oh, he's from like a different place.
He was from Missouri.
He's from a small town in Missouri.
Like the Ozarks or something.
Kind of, yeah.
So I just remember the first kind of time I felt something was strange was like off when he talked to me.
Was like, because in high school, it was weird if a senior dated a freshman.
Yes.
It was bizarre.
I've never understood that.
Yeah, very weird.
You can be an 18 as a senior. Yeah. But even adult like a 17 year old dating isn't it illegal to be dating
a 14 year old there's like romeo and juliet laws and shit it's bizarre romeo and juliet yeah it's
like if you're like 18 and your girlfriend's like 16 they'll like let it go it's like it's it's
ridiculous um anyways this this guy i remember the first thing he told me he was like man like
i miss my girlfriend like all this shit And he's like 19 at this point
And I was like oh yeah where is she
And he's like oh she's back in high school
And I was like oh is she like a senior
And he was like nah man she's like 14
And I was like what
That's crazy
This is the first thing he said to you
One of the first things that ticked me
Where I was like this guy's odd
That's a little red flag
That's usually little red flag. A red flag.
That's usually how I open.
How your 14-year-old girlfriend. When I meet new people.
I go, nice to meet you, brother. I got a 14-year-old girlfriend.
And then he had a...
He started wearing banana hammocks
all over the place. What is a banana hammock?
It's like a male thong.
He looked like Hank Hill, dude. He did not have like...
If he was ripped and jacked i'd
be like okay oh you'd be like oh yeah you'd be like you know what i mean though like if i if you
were ripped and jacked he looked like a pedophile it'd still be quite weird i think he wore a thong
if he was hot you're saying you'd let it go there's a certain level of hotness you have to be
if you had a shredded body i'd be like all right like i would wear a fucking thong. You know, the great thing about this podcast
is we learn something new every day about everybody
on it. Yeah, you know. So, John
would be okay with it if the kid was like,
he's jacked. Yeah, and one
morning, it was actually really funny,
me and my
ex-girlfriend, we like... You tried helping him
work out so you would be okay with it.
I was like, yeah. So, one day,
he would jump down
from his bed in his thong and half the time he'd eat like roommates with zoolander
and half the time he would eat shit he would just like slip and like his ass you'd like do
like ass puns and there was a bunch of like getting out of bed yeah it was great i would
i would be stifling laughter it's the the clumsy pedophile. It's the clumsy pedophile. He's stepping into rakes.
Dude, so on this day, there happened to be like a bunch of 8x11 white sheets of paper
on the ground, like homework and shit.
And like he jumped out of the bed, ate shit, like his ass planted on the paper, and then
he got up and walked away, and there was like a shit streak.
He's like a human snail.
I brought everybody in the dorm to go look at it i was
like every time i look at clay shit and then you guys followed it to a kindergarten yeah
so uh one night one night i'm in the fucking computer lab and i had this buddy that like
called he's from the south side of chicago i went to school in illinois and it was a very weird
school and like half the kids are from Hillbilly, Kentucky.
The other half were from, like, the hood in Chicago.
And this guy calls me.
He's like, hey, yo, like, don't go to your room.
There's, like, cops up there.
And I was like, okay, I'm going to go to my room.
There's cops up there.
So I walk up to the room, and I see one uniformed police officer.
And then one guy who's wearing a cardigan.
And he was, like, he just looked, like, very, like, buttoned up like dad in the suburbs.
And I'm like, I just ignore them them completely and i open up the door and the guy with the cardigans like is this blah blah's room and i was like oh thank god they're not looking for me
because i swear to god dude i thought i would be got for downloading music illegally oh that was a
thing back that was like they're trying to scare you about i thought i thought i was gonna be one
of those because that was remember that lady, remember that lady? They arrest like three people every ten years for like LimeWire.
Make an example.
Throw the book at one.
LimeWire was still a thing back then.
It looks like John Knopf downloaded Make It Rain by Fat Joe in 2007.
Soldier Boy is coming after John.
Crank that, Soldier Boy.
You'll be cranking your asshole wide open in prison, boy.
I'll be like getting your dick cranked.
I was like, fuck, dude. And then i he was this bubble has room and i was like
oh thank god it's not me so i'm like yeah come on in i let him in you go let's steal music together
exactly but he comes in he goes uh my name is detective blah blah from uh with the federal
bureau of investigation special agent blah blah with the federal bureau of investigation out of
st louis missouri because that was the closest major city dude more like female body inspector
but then the fbi agent started fat like making fun of me
the guy that likes a female body inspector shirt he's like
it's supposed to be the fbi but it's female body inspector shirts. He's like, it's supposed to be the FBI, but it's female body inspector, brother.
The guy started making fun of my weight.
The FBI agent?
Yeah, I remember we had these tall bunk beds
and I was a real big fatso back then.
He's like, you got any trouble getting up in there?
Oh, Jesus, really?
I was like, what, dude?
That's crazy.
Did you say, do you have any trouble...
Not shooting dogs?
Yeah, do you have any guilt about killing martin luther king jr
no i just i remember like i i was like uh is when's when's my room he was like can you call
your roommate and have him come back to the room and i was like okay and i was like is he gonna be
okay and he was like yeah i'll be fine and i was like okay roommate comes back in fbi agent tells
me to leave i go outside i'm like
chain smoking cigarettes my other roommate we have a suite mate we shared a bathroom with two
other dudes that dude was like i'm gonna pretend to take a dump and i'm gonna listen in and uh
this guy sits down listens their conversation comes out pale as a ghost he's like bro he's
downloading cp jesus fucking bad i heard he heard the roommate he heard the agent be like
hey so what keywords would you look up and you heard my roommate go kiddie porn and he got caught
on limewire wait what what what what what he got he was searching and downloading like fbi honeypots
on limewire so the fbi put out these fake files just says it just says kiddie porn. Yeah, you put out fake files and you got it.
Well, he's from Missouri.
This is the worst pedophile of all time. Yeah, you get an absolute dunce.
Dude had a fucking mental breakdown after that.
Oh, no.
He started getting naked.
He started shitting in his hand and like spreading it on my shower curtain.
What?
I started treating him like shit.
I would like use his like fucking towels.
He stayed roommates with him?
No, I immediately switched.
Wait, wait, wait.
After he smeared shit on the shower curtain? Here's this is the john is the weird john's like i got nine
more months it's fine no dude i i i fucking switch roommates i got sent i was like i i contacted the
the dean i was like dude this guy's gonna shoot up the fucking school because they didn't like
they they raided his dad's house what was the first time like when you came back and he was acting very strange?
I was like 19, so I didn't really know what to do.
I was like, this guy's having a mental breakdown.
How did it gradually build up?
Well, he started talking in his sleep.
He started saying things.
I remember I woke up in the middle of the night,
and he was tossing and turning.
He was like, I won't be that bad in a cell.
I won't be that bad in a cell.
Are you serious?
I'm dead serious, dude.
And then he started getting really religious.
His parents stopped talking to him.
He would only talk to his grandmother.
And then everybody in the dorm knew
what he was arrested for,
but nobody would confront him about it.
And he was like having a mental breakdown
because they didn't arrest him.
How do you not get expelled?
Yeah.
That's what I was fucking asking
the fucking student body.
Because they didn't make an arrest.
They just, they took his computer.
That's the only reason I know
they don't like arrest guys.
I think the sad truth is if they arrested everyone who download shit like that, the prison would be full.
Oh, God.
It's gotta be like, there's hundreds of thousands of people.
Are you sure that they didn't take the computer to investigate and then they charged them later?
I think they charge you and then they just put you on a form of probation.
I don't think they actually have you be prison-tuned.
Well, you get sentenced.
There's no way the school didn't expel him.
That's so weird as fuck.
Yeah, that's the other thing. I was like, there was an FBI agent in my fucking room way the school didn't expel him. That's so weird. Yeah, that's the other thing.
I was like, there was an FBI agent in my fucking room,
and the school wasn't doing anything.
Yeah.
Well, maybe there's a policy where they can't expel
until you're proven guilty because they could get sued.
I bet they had wrongful, whatever, wrongful expelling.
Don't FBI investigations, they're circumventing the local department.
So the local department could arrest him that day, but the FBI...
Oh, the local police department, there was dog shit.
The FBI is conducting an investigation, so they take more time or something?
I don't know.
Well, I think when it comes to taking a computer and forensics on technology,
there's some due diligence there.
I think even a local
sheriff or whatever would still need
an investigation like that. Well, the guy went all the way
from St. Louis. It's like a three-hour drive to go
get this kid. You know what I mean?
Oh, shit. Okay, that's where the FBI
officers... It's like a three, four-hour drive.
I remember...
I immediately switched dorms.
The people let me switch dorms. And the new guy
they put me in with was a fucking hoarder.
So I show up in this guy's dorm.
It reeked of shit.
There's just like Dr. Pepper cans everywhere.
What fucking college was this?
Southern Illinois University, Carbondale.
It's literally the worst fucking college.
It was powered by a coal plant.
It would run out of power every 30 minutes.
There's so many cool colleges right here.
The only one that would take me because I had a 1.8 GPA.
It was just a hot shit college. You forget that John was legally retarded. every 30 minutes. The only one that would take me because I had a 1.8 GPA.
You forget that John was legally retarded.
John is somehow fool-bated to thinking
he's intelligent.
I'm dumb as fuck.
He's an idiot.
Joey, make no mistake. Our friend John's
an idiot.
I just remember
I was staying in this guy's dorm.
Then this other guy in my dorm threatened to cut a girl's an idiot. He's an idiot. But I, yeah, I just remember I was staying in this guy's dorm and like, oh, and then this, and then this other guy in my dorm threatened to cut a girl's head off.
That was also in my dorm.
It was like multiple school shooter situations.
So a typical college experience.
Exactly.
And then I would, I couldn't, I kept having panic attacks because like everything was
going wrong.
And I remember like I would wake up
and there was another guy.
I got sent to the agricultural major dorms.
It was a bunch of farm boy sons and shit.
The only other guy,
there was another guy who would also have panic attacks
late at night, but he was an Iraq veteran.
He had been hit by an RPG.
Half his body
is pockmarked with burns and scars.
The bad news bears
so I'd be up
me and him would be up at like 3 in the morning in the little
communal lounge just like drinking coffee at 3
in the morning and he would just tell me like war stories
and then he'd be like yeah I got hit with an RPG
I had no idea John went to
college with the Adams family
it was crazy
it was honestly very fun
I didn't have
a college experience. I mean, I went to a
community college for four months,
pretended so my dad would get off my back.
Yeah. And then I just left campus
one day and never came back, but that kicks out.
I kind of unwittingly had a
slave in college. Oh, yeah.
Oh, let's talk about your slave. We haven't
done this, I don't think, ever on the show.
I don't know. I don't think so either.
Maybe back in the old Hate That You Love It episodes that are on the Patreon, early episodes,
you can scroll.
Scroll.
Type it in, whatever.
Hate That You Love It.
That was the worst name ever.
I always said that.
Yeah, but we were just, I needed to start a show and I didn't have a name.
So we did that.
Like, just take one more second to think. Well, you know, we got to just... That's the worst excuse ever.
It's like, we just had to do it.
No, it's like a writer.
Like, sometimes what he's writing is bad,
but you need to get something on the page to start.
I like...
So that was my thinking.
That's a good spin, but it's crazy.
That was my thinking.
I was like, the name sucks,
but I literally can't think of a name.
Okay, fair, fair, fair.
And that's...
People are listening.
It's not...
No one's listening for the name. Like, just listen and hope you really like it you know impossible to find
name you're like uh crippling yourself right off the bat i need a name with 17 words
it was funny because i was on the podcast all the time and i never knew i know i just never
you never knew the show you would tell people it's called hate it love yeah i'm like it's hate
that you i can't remember exactly.
Hate You, Love You, Bad.
I go just type in like Devin and it should come up, I think.
Yeah, yeah.
But-
I love the cover of that.
The cover?
What was it again?
What was it about you and David?
Fat Me and David.
I thought the cover was a cool cover.
That was cool.
Hate Watch is perfect, though.
It's perfect.
Hate Watch completely-
Well, look at the-
Let's just take a look at Yarmul's sign.
Look at this beauty.
Are we stuck with green?
Are we choosing green as our color?
Yeah, it looks the best.
It looks the best on camera.
Yeah.
Yeah, look at this beauty.
Look at that little South Park Devin.
And honestly, I, you know, I've been, you know.
It looks so much better in real life.
Everyone knows me.
Like, I have a work ethic of Kobe, and nothing will stop me from trying.
And every day I wake up 6 a.m., and I think, and I write.
He's got the Mark Wahlberg itinerary.
I work out.
I eat a lot of adaptogens in my diet and whatnot.
But I don't think about the name of the show, and I don't think about the show much.
But when I do, fucking perfect.
It's amazing.
This is fucking perfect, the sign.
And the name is perfect, because it's what I've said my whole life, and it finally came to me.
Just name it Hate Watch.
Because all I've done my whole life is tell people, like, hey, like, you, like, you.
I bullied you.
If it weren't for me, you would have kept this shitty fuck.
I bet it would still be called that shitty name.
I mean.
But anyways, it probably would have.
Well, I restarted the show without you.
And then I had to come save it because it was falling apart.
You did have to save it.
But so.
We have these fake ideas of what happened.
Yeah.
Okay, so my slave in college,
my roommate was the bad dentist
that we've mentioned before on the podcast.
He was my roommate.
Bad dentist.
Patreon episode, bad dentist.
Go check that out.
But so then there was this Korean kid in my dorm,
and I was in like the smart dorm
because my bad dentist was my roommate,
and he was like a dentist
and so like it was
the dentist dorm or whatever.
Yeah, yeah.
Some of the craziest people
on earth.
Dentists.
They are, dude.
They're crazy.
They are, yeah.
They always kill themselves.
Why are they really well behaved?
I was the maniac in mine.
Is that true?
Dentists have the highest
suicide rate?
Because they're just
looking in mouths all day
and nobody respects them.
Nobody likes to see them.
No one likes seeing them.
No one likes hurting people.
And they have access to like all the best shit to kill themselves.
I actually like that they deserve that
because all dentists do,
they're like car salesmen for teeth.
All they do is try and fuck with you.
You go to the dentist,
they upsell you on shit
and you're like,
well, okay, yeah, let me look,
let me think about it.
And they tell you,
if you don't get this done,
you're going to experience insane pain.
It's going to be really bad for you.
And then you don't do anything for seven years
and nothing happens.
So they're assholes
and they deserve to commit suicide.
But so there was this Korean kid
that was dating a Chinese foreign exchange student.
This girl that literally came from mainland China,
just learned English,
was grappling with learning the language a little bit.
And one day I'm in my dorm listening to Howard Stern, which is all I did back then.
Back when the show was good.
So I have my headphones in and I would just sit there, like, listening to Stern laughing.
And all of a sudden, like, out of my peripheral vision, I see somebody in my dorm.
And it was this Chinese woman.
She just let herself in.
Yeah.
And she was wandering around my dorm room, just kind of looking around. They love doing shit like that. They love that. They know it was this Chinese woman. She just let herself in and she was wandering around my dorm room just kind of looking
around. They love doing shit like that.
They know it's wrong to do and I think
they just take advantage of it. They love it.
They're like, oh yeah, I'm trading. I don't know.
Remember when we went to McDonald's and we were working at that weed
factory and that whole Chinese family just walked to the
back of the McDonald's? Yeah. Do you remember that shit?
Yeah. They have McDonald's in China. They know you
can't do that. Well, they're always looking for the water tower.
Yeah.
This is like in the Cecil.
Yes.
Yeah, that's it.
That's how the gears are turning in my head.
The gears turn and they go like,
our destination is a water tower to drown in.
But so I turn around and I'm just like,
what are you doing in here?
What are you doing?
And then she like kind of panicked
because she realized how weird she was being.
And she was like, oh, I'm just looking at this book.
You know, heavy Chinese accent. But she was she's like oh just looking at this book you know heavy chinese accent but she's like i'm just looking at this book and she it was a textbook
from like one of my college textbooks so she's like i happen to need this book because i'm taking
this class and i'm like well i need the book too i'm taking the class and then she's like well can
i have it and i go like no you can't have it. It's like, they're like 500 bucks. Yeah.
And then I'm like, okay, how about this?
If you agree to take my trash out for the rest of the year, I will give you the book.
Hell yeah, dude.
And she's like, she said yes.
So then she actually started doing it.
And I started getting kind of, I started abusing my power a little bit.
Yeah, of course.
Where like, if the trash was full, trash was full and I'd be like,
well, I gave her the fucking book.
I'm like,
this is kind of bullshit.
Like she's breaking the contract.
So you're like,
take the trash out, Ming.
Yeah, yeah.
Her name was Qian.
Qian.
Qian or Jen?
Qian.
Qian.
Wow.
Qian.
That's Chinese as shit.
Yeah, it's very Chinese.
Yeah, yeah.
And then so she started
becoming disgruntled because I'd be like, it's very Chinese. Yeah, yeah. And then so she started becoming disgruntled
because I'd be like,
the trash has been spilling out again.
She didn't understand capitalism.
Yeah, no, just you.
I would have killed to have been around you
for this two, three year period of time
where you were yelling at a woman named Chen.
No, it's just one year of college.
One year, but still every day,
Joey just like frustrated in the hall
like I gotta talk to Chen
but it started getting worse and worse
where then she would
start bargaining with me and I'd be like well
how about this I'm gonna add a new
task I'm gonna give you my student
ID you take this to
the cafeteria you can get food
scam ID so I'm paying for it
but you have to bring me food.
So now she's doing
like Postmates basically
for me.
Uh-huh.
And so she's like,
and it's very cold,
negative 40 degrees
in the winter
and I'm having her
take the trash out.
Where are you going
to college in?
Brookings, South Dakota.
Is that like near?
It was South Dakota
State University.
I think it's like
five hours away
from Rapid City.
So it's in the bigger city?
No, no.
It's in a really small city. Oh, no. It's in a really small city.
Oh, okay.
It's just a college town. It's one of these small
college towns where it's just a college. Just a college.
Yeah. But so anyway, she starts
becoming more and more disgruntled and then
one day I'm sleeping in my bed
and I wake up to
giant fingernail scratches
down my arm. Creepy.
Yeah, and it was like twisted bitch.
And like bleeding.
I was bleeding.
Like there was like four,
it looked like a mountain lion
scratched me or something.
Like poltergeist.
Yeah, exactly.
Good God.
So I wake up and I'm like,
what the, it's her.
She just scratched me
and her hair's all wild
and she's all manic
and crazy and shit.
Oh, she's sick.
She's sick.
She looked like the girl
from The Ring.
Yeah.
She's crawling at you.
And then so I'm like, get out of here.
And I get down from my bunk bed, and she won't leave.
And she's looking at me so crazily that it's kind of freaking me out a little bit.
And then so I grab a bottle of Febreze, and I just start spraying her.
She's a cockroach?
I don't know what else to do.
I can't grab her. What do I can't like grab her
What do you do?
Yeah, yeah
You gotta spray her with something
Yeah, so I'm like
I'm spraying her
I'm like get out of here
She crawls back into the TV
Yeah
Yeah
But
She won't move
Like she's just
Taking the Febreze
No, not in the face
But yeah, in the head
Damn
So her hair is now
Dripping with Febreze
And I'm like get out you kept spraying
Are you weird group met me?
No, I mean, no was he mean he was she was scratching him in the night. It's not working
You just kept springers our heroes. Oh, it's like it was going on for five
The guy with the hose.
The guy from San Francisco.
Yeah.
But so it's going on now.
It's like 15 seconds,
and it's just enough to accumulate.
And I'm just going, get out of here.
And then she, yeah, get out of here, Chan.
And then she, my roommate at the bed,
Dennis had a knife.
Oh my God. He had like a switchblade for some reason.
Dude, this is the hand that feeds.
And so she grabs the knife, opens it up, and she has me cornered.
She's holding a knife on you.
Fucking scratching tiger hidden knife.
And so she's like, I'm cornered.
And I'm like, if I try to grab like she could like stab my
hand she's kicking in dude my this is crazy close quarters she legitimately was like attempt this
is attempted murder yeah yeah exactly and there's video of this somewhere actually you have video i
want yeah yeah bring it next week okay well i know you have it somewhere you showed me this a long
time ago it's on facebook i think i think it's YouTube somewhere, but I don't know how to find it fast.
But anyways.
This Chinese girl stabs.
No, the footage is crazy.
It's a woman walking through hallways chasing Joey.
With a knife?
With a knife.
No, no, not with a knife.
So here's how it went.
She had the knife.
She's cornering me.
She's about to stab me.
And I'm saying, put down the knife, Chi.
I'm saying this as loud as I can so people outside can hear.'m saying, put down the knife, G. I'm saying this as loud
as I can so people
like outside can hear.
I go,
put down the knife,
G.
You're going to go to jail
for a long time
if you kill me.
I go,
you will go to jail.
You'll never see
your family again.
Yeah, exactly.
Trying to remind her
of reality and consequences.
I've yelled similar things
at people during bar fights.
I go,
I'll sue you.
Yeah, yeah, exactly.
And then,
Bad Dennis runs in. Fuck yeah, dude. Grabs her hand from behind fights. I go, I'll sue you. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Yeah. And then Bad Tennis runs in.
Fuck yeah, dude.
Grabs her hand from behind her.
So like if, like put your hand up like you have a knife.
Hell yeah, Bad Tennis.
Just grabs her hand.
Yeah.
Because he's realizing if she kills somebody with my knife,
I'm not going to, I'm not being a dentist.
You know?
Right.
Yeah, yeah.
That's Bad Tennis.
And he's like, he's like, he was in Taekwondo, right?
He was a Taekwondo national champion and a state champion wrestler.
Fuck yeah.
That's that quick thinking dentistry that we need.
Exactly.
I forgot she actually attempted to kill you.
Yeah, yeah.
She swung it a couple of times.
Damn, dude.
Scary.
What?
What was she angry at you about?
Well, so it was just sort of a disgruntled relationship.
I was kind of becoming boss here and boss here. But I always i would still be really cool with her and stuff i get it
yeah you were like um you were you were like the abusive i was abused she was the she was the
assistant she had had it with yeah yeah this is her harper's fairy yeah you were like we also like
made a clear deal like now i i realized that I was being too demanding and strict for an employee-employer relationship.
I don't mean to sound any type of way, but you were using her Chinese against her.
You assumed she was.
She had a peasant mentality.
You were like, she's a submissive Chinese woman.
She approached me, and she wanted the book.
And I said, okay, if you want it, how about this?
She said yes yes it was like
she approached me it's like i went and sought her out right right right and then after we made the
deal it's like she has the book what am i supposed to do just let her off now i'm getting ripped off
but so anyways baxter grabs the knife she comes back with the broomstick she found another weapon
much better she starts hitting like she's got a bo staff now and she's she's fucking hitting the
dorm room door
and she just wouldn't leave
and I'm like
well is somebody gonna stop her
like what's going on
yeah
and it went on for so long
and I was like
fuck it dude
like give me a broom
and I got a broom
and this is where the video starts
oh you dueled her
yeah I dueled her with a broom
yeah it's a duel
it's a broom duel
yeah so the video starts
where I come out with a broom
exactly
and I came out
dual wielding brooms
did you guys have different stances
yeah we did
I came out dual wielding with two Musashi you guys have different stances? Yeah, we did. I came out dual wielding
with two. Musashi.
Yeah, exactly. Fuck yeah, exactly.
And then eventually, I
switched to one because I realized
I just wasn't good enough with two.
And then I kind of
just destroyed her. I did some really sick shit.
Did anyone get across to her
the weight of what
she was doing with the knife?
I kind of told her.
It was just basically me.
Was she sincerely going, or was it just like a gesture?
Like she was crazy, but was she actually going to do anything with it?
She had a pretty crazy look in her eye, but it was more of like a manic state.
I don't know if she would have stabbed me.
How long did you see her after this?
Did you ever talk to her about that?
Yeah.
What was that?
What was that about?
It just became like she's just stopped coming to take my trash out and stuff.
And obviously I didn't want her to.
But she was still dating the Korean dude.
So I would see her in the dorm.
Why didn't he handle his bitch, dude?
He was a cuck.
Did he ever find out that the girl he was dating is trying to kill
people? The video that exists
somewhere, everybody in our dorm saw it.
So yeah, he knew all about it.
That is crazy funny.
Fucking nuts. And so you never really
spoke to her ever again? No, we did a little
bit. Did anyone bring
up her attempted
murder? She was so crazy
that it just wasn't like you're not're not going to get through to her.
You're not going to be like, hey...
Like, she's not going to be like, I'm so sorry.
I was going through a thing.
I was having a bad day.
And no one at the school found out about this.
Not the actual school.
Not the school.
Nobody that worked there.
Yeah, I didn't fucking report it.
And you never cared to, like, report.
No, no, no.
And the video.
No one saw the video.
Yeah, that's like, honestly, the silver lining here.
That's the beautiful thing. And this country could learn one saw the video. Yeah, that's like honestly the silver lining here. That's the beautiful thing.
And this country could learn a lot about that.
If you feel like somebody was just, they had a bad moment,
but they weren't really going to do anything and you're comfortable with them now,
you don't.
Joey could have ruined this woman's life.
Of course, I could have had her deported.
Joey could have had her deported, could have had her charged with attempted murder.
There's video.
There's tons of things to support this, and he never did
because Joey's a gangster.
You got his with his broomstick.
That's all you need to do. I beat her in the duel.
Yeah, you beat her in the duel.
Really, it comes down to Joey just, like,
has, like, a real competitive nature to him,
and he's like, oh, you tried to kill me? I'll beat you
with a... He goes, I'm gonna beat you in a
broom duel. And it's all, it's just,
like, what he needs. Yeah, that's all I needed. It was just Joey personally needed, like, as long as I beat you in a broom duel. And it's all, it's just like what he needs.
Yeah, that's all I needed.
It was just Joey personally needed, like, as long as I beat you in a broom duel, I won't charge you with attempted murder.
We're square.
We're square.
Are we square?
Interesting.
Man, that was a crazy story, actually.
Yeah, I kind of forgot.
Very casual, crazy story.
Yeah, I forgot that it was technically attempted murder. Yeah, as time goes on,
can you put yourself in that moment
where you're in front of her and you're like,
Chen, put it down.
Did you have any thought?
She could stab me.
I was actually like, fuck,
I could get stabbed.
Definitely. I remained
weirdly calm, but I definitely was thinking,
like, fuck, this could be really bad.
If bad dentist wasn't there to disarm the situation,
what happens?
What do you think happens?
Would you have kicked her, dude?
I think, potentially,
I would have tried to grab her wrist or something,
and I might have gotten stabbed in, like, my hand.
Defensive wounds.
Defensive wounds.
You think it was that bad
that she was going to eventually actually stab you?
Yeah, because I would faint at her a little bit.
She would do a thing?
Yeah, because I would kind of test
what would she do?
She would actually act like she's about?
She'd swipe.
She would swipe, yeah, yeah.
Swipe her?
Yeah.
Would you throw a chair at her or some shit?
If I had a chair, I would.
I was in a corner with literally nothing.
Oh, that's the worst.
Yeah, it sucked.
Fuck.
Crazy.
Yeah.
Shout out Bad Dennis.
I really was so grateful for Bad Dennis when he did that.
That's amazing.
He saved injuries.
You wouldn't have died, probably, unless she stabbed you in the heart.
You don't know with knives, though.
That's the thing.
There's so many cases where a guy will get stabbed 36 times and live but then
there's those cases where a guy gets stabbed once and he's dead sure because it goes into an organ
yeah or artery or whatever yeah god knives are so yeah there's this really famous case in england
knives are so scary you know what's less scary than a knife nice ar-15 it is less scary i'm
gonna be honest with you.
I think I would rather just, there's something so personal.
I mean, I'd rather get stabbed than shot.
Knives are like, if you die by knife, the person killing you better be like whispering
into your ear like all of their true intentions and feelings.
It needs to be like a hot moment where at least you
die in like a sexy way or something like but you know what i mean like stabbing is so romantic
personal say knife you run away the gun get going yeah solidarity yeah yeah um well anyway we were
talking chucky the pedophile chucky's's a pedophile. Anyone that ever loved
the movie Chucky, he is a pedophile.
Sorry, guys.
The pedophile senator, Joe Morrissey.
We did this last episode.
We did? Oh, my God.
Good job, Otter.
I'm talking all week.
I don't remember everything.
That was such a diva. He's becoming such a big hot shot
broadcaster diva. No, I'm not. Don't you
pin that on me. These people
will go off for that.
Don't project your bullshit on me.
Don't create a
new comment section
about me. I'm just trolling.
I saw some, this is some footage
of Joey waking up
last night.
This is Joey waking up today.
Is this a hibernating bear?
Yeah, this is a bear coming out of hibernation.
Jesus Christ.
Look at Joey just walking through his room full of Miller Lite cans.
How dare you?
He's like, I got 30 breakfast burritos on the way, buddy.
Dude, I ate two burritos last night from Dona Stella.
I ate two burritos.
Two full burritos and two churros.
Oh, man. You got two burritos?
That's wild. Back to that.
What are the calories in a burrito?
1,300 calories, probably?
No, I'm going to say 800, 900.
I would say around 1,000.
Over 1,000.
At least 1,000, I would say.
Dona Stella burritos. Packed with rice and beans. How big are they? I've never seen a thousand. Over a thousand. At least a thousand. Okay. Donut Stella burritos.
Packed with rice and beans.
Yeah.
How big are they?
I've never seen a donut Stella burrito. They're huge.
They're pretty big.
They're like Chipotle-sized burritos.
And then you got,
did you get shrimp and steak or steak or what?
Carne asada.
Carne asada.
And the salt content.
And then you always get guac, right?
Probably.
I was just going to tip it over.
Guac is always like 200 calories.
It's good for you,
but it's like, it's calorie. Yeah, yeah, calories. It's good for you, but it's caloric.
Then you got the sour cream in it.
And cheese.
The sour cream and cheese is like 500-600.
So it's like
a 1,700 calorie.
That's probably a little high.
1,700 calories?
That's probably a little high.
What's a tortilla?
Like 150-200. Tort yeah, no, either way. What's a tortilla? Like 150, 200.
Yeah.
Tortilla, rice, beans.
Rice is going to be 300 calories.
Carni-a-sata, sour cream, guacamole.
The carni-a-sata is going to be 300 calories.
Cheese.
Yeah, so probably around like 1,200.
1,200, yeah.
1,200.
So two, you had 2,400 calories.
That's a lot.
That's a lot.
And so two churros as well.
Yo, that's going to be 500 calories.
That's a thousand right there.
Man.
And then, what did I eat?
I had a big lunch.
And you were drunk, so you already were
working on a thousand calories of alcohol.
I don't know why you're like scolding me.
No, I'm not scolding you.
We've all done this.
I do this every week.
I'm always trying to wonder what am I putting trying to... We've all done this. I do this every week. I'm always trying to wonder,
what am I putting in my...
There's a point system with food.
It's kind of fun.
I was approaching Michael Phelps' level of calories
when he was training for the Olympics.
Doing 15,000 a day.
I didn't go swimming at all.
That's the problem.
You didn't swim in the Olympics.
That's the issue.
The issue is, at all is the problem. Right. You didn't swim in the Olympics. That's the issue. Oh, speaking of swimming.
The issue is you weren't an Olympian the next morning.
We got to start swimming at your pool.
I did run 20-ish miles.
You ran 20 miles that day?
No, not that day.
Jesus Christ.
That week.
Oh, good for you.
Still good, yeah.
We got to start having barbecues at Joe's.
We got to start pool barbecues.
This summer, we got like take over his pool.
We kick all the,
like all the retards that are at his apartment complex that are just like,
they don't know.
They,
they,
they don't really have fun.
They don't really do anything.
They never have fun.
These people are NPCs.
They don't really exist.
And now we have cornhole.
We have the pool table.
We have all the cornholes.
And there's a pool table.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I love pool.
Me too, I love pool.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Have we ever played pool together?
You and I have never played pool together.
And ping pong.
That's startling because we've been around a lot of pool tables together.
And ping pong.
We have, yeah.
We have.
That's crazy.
Well, you know.
We've played ping pong.
We've played ping pong.
At Joey's old place.
You only got into drinking in the last, like, year.
Pool is really a thing you do when you're drinking at a pool hall.
I'm going to say three years, but also
I've played pool sober.
I'm sure you have, but
you and I would never be in a place to play
pool unless we're both having a night.
Most of the bars me and Devin
have drank together don't have pool tables.
There was a pool hall we went to with Ben
out in...
That was fun. Joey and I went with Ben. There used to be a pool hall we went to with Ben That was fun
Joey and I went with Ben
There used to be a pool hall in Pasadena
It's now my fucking fight gym
But I used to go there all the time with my buddies
Pool halls are great
Joe Rogan might be there
Why is he at pool halls?
Joe Rogan loves pool, he thinks he's in the Hustler
Joe Rogan thinks he's Minnesota Fats
He was obsessed with pool
He used to
talk about this on his podcast when I would listen.
I like that. It's a very endearing quality.
I love that he loves pool.
He's still very
reverent
to professional pool champions like
these weird Filipino dudes and
all these guys that cheat to gamble.
They all cheat
at pool. It's like a similar community to poker. Yeah. They all cheat at pool.
And it's like a similar community to poker.
Interesting.
You guys ever seen The Hustler?
Yeah, it's a great movie.
Fucking tremendous movie.
They could cut out the romance from it.
Well, that makes the... I don't want to...
I mean, fucking...
All old movies have an obligatory romance that you have to care about.
There's a suicide at the end, right?
Am I freaking out?
Am I tripping out about him?
No, she kills herself.
Yeah, she kills herself. That makes it a suicide.
She kills herself? Yeah, but I don't care.
That's so weird to think that in the 1950s
people were killing themselves. It is weird that anyone killed themselves
in the 50s. It's like fucking bread is
15 cents, you fucking ungrateful whore.
It was so easy. Yeah, Jesus Christ.
Buy a house for $20,000.
How about this? How about you take a dollar down to the store
and everyone thinks you're a millionaire?
You were white and you killed yourself in the 50s?
You're an absolute loser.
You deserve to die.
If you kill yourself in the 50s as a white person,
you suck my ass.
I'm glad we got to that.
I've been meaning to rail against
people in the 50s that killed themselves.
That were white and that's really obnoxious.
You're a retard. Huge idiot. That tripped me out about Catcher in the Rye. People are horny in the 50s that killed themselves that's right and that's really obnoxious like you're a retard that huge idiot that tripped me out about catcher in the ride too is i was like people are
horny in the 50s that's nuts i know i never i always thought people fucked in the 50s by like
they came in a glass and then they handed it to the woman and they're like you do what you want
with that like it's like those machines can you imagine a guy like like titty fucking in the 50s that happened
dude i know but our grandpa's titty fuck when i would watch when i was a kid i'd be like my
grandparents like they had sex they must have had sex in like a medical way like there was like i
watched porn i'd be like there's no way my grandparents fucked like this i remember my
grandma refused to date my grandfather for a while because she found out he would kiss girls with tongue.
Right.
Like, that was wild.
French kiss.
And he's like a degenerate to her.
He's a degenerate whore.
I want to think of my grandma as like the sweetest, most innocent woman ever.
My grandma was the best woman on earth.
She was an angel.
But somebody did, I don't even want to say what this person said to me.
Not about my grandma, but somebody was just like, because we were having a similar conversation to this, actually,
and she was like, what, you don't think your grandma loves sucking cock?
Weird.
It's weird, but it's true.
It's right.
That's what's hard about it.
That's what's hard.
At one point, she did love sucking cock.
She just turned into a grandmother.
And I hate to even say that, but it's just like human and true.
It's human.
So we have to just accept it. My grandfather probably and true. It's human. So it's,
it's,
we have my grandfather probably loved.
He had a move.
His dick sucks.
Come on faces or whatever.
He had like a thing,
write his name.
By the way,
my grandma did not my personal grandma.
That's just an example for other grandmas in general.
All your grandmas suck dick.
My grandma,
my grandma,
all your grandmas love sucking dick.
My grandma's the fucking pure angel
should we watch some waco clips because you wanted to do this like wait let's save it for
a little bit you want to do now you want to i'm down for like should we build up to it with some
clips of like what waco is fuck yeah dude waco is that going to be allowed? To our foreign listeners,
there are some...
Oh, I thought you were talking about the show.
To our foreign listeners
and people who are ignorant to Waco.
Yeah, talk about Waco.
Waco was a...
There was a group of people in Mount Caramel, Texas,
and they were called the Branch Davidians,
and they were a cult run by a man named David Koresh,
and everyone in the cult was banned from having sex except David Koresh and David Koresh would fuck everybody
and uh they were buying a shit ton of machine guns and they're doing very bad things and David
Koresh was a very bad man but uh at that time the uh a federal agency known as the ATF uh really
wanted to arrest David Koresh because a male a postal
worker uh felt something jiggling around in a box and then he opened up the box which is against
postal worker rules and there are hand grenades inside oh and that's and then he alerted the feds
yeah you can't be trent you can't be mailing hand grenades to people and they alerted the feds and
then the feds surrounded the the the compound it led to like a fuck hundred day siege how long was the siege no not a hundred days it
was a fuck it was 50 days it was a long time it was it was and basically the atf now keep in mind
the agency that surrounded this there were women and children it was a lot of people living in this
compound yes they were doing backwards things but but they were essentially tortured to death by the ATF,
and eventually the building was lit on fire.
A bunch of kids were burned to death.
Women, innocent people were killed.
So many, like almost 100, right?
Yeah, I think it was like 80 people.
So it was a fucking massacre.
It was 51 days long.
51 days.
And I think like 80-something people died.
So here's the... Show on Showtime is great, by the way, or wherever it's died. So here's the show.
Show on Showtime is great, by the way, or wherever it's on.
So it was on Netflix for a while.
But my boy, Riggins from Friday Night Lights, Taylor Kitsch.
Oh, yeah.
He's great.
She's amazing.
He's a fantastic actor.
The show is so good.
And also, the show is full of legendary TV actors.
You got Michael Shannon.
You got that guy from Boardwalk.
I forget the brother's name from Boardwalk.
Well, the Yellow King is one of the agents.
Yep.
Yeah, the Boardwalk, the guy from Bad Lieutenant.
Yeah.
But yeah, so yeah, the ATF started,
they found the grenades,
and then they started surveilling them,
and they're like, oh, this guy is stockpiling a small militia.
We got to go check this out.
And then Koresh said.
They served a no-knock warrant, and then they opened fire on the guy.
Well, nobody really knows who shot first, but, yeah, it was probably them.
Four ATF agents were killed, I think.
But here's the thing that the American police love to do,
is they love pumping buildings full of a highly flammable tear gas.
That's what they did to Dorner.
And then they go, oh, the building's on fire,
and then 80 people get killed.
Right.
That's their thing.
It's total deniability.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, because they could just light it on fire.
They were shooting people from a helicopter.
They were running a tank through the fucking...
And if they did run out, they'd shoot them.
Yeah.
And I think there's infrared footage of a tank running over people
retreating from the Branch Davidian compound.
Oh, they were barbarians.
Oh, they're absolutely barbarians.
And there's a new show called Waco Aftermath.
And Waco Aftermath kicks ass.
But we'll get into Aftermath a little bit later.
But right now, let's watch some Waco clips.
Teen marks 25 years since the deadly 51-day standoff between Branch Davidian cult members and the federal government,
more than 80 people were killed over the course of the season.
Koresh looked really cool.
He was hot.
He was hot.
Now, for the first time, a retired UPS driver is revealing how he unknowingly delivered weapons and ammunition to the compound.
Weeks before the confrontation, 48 Hours' Peter Van Sant reveals the stories and secrets of Waco.
And if they didn't do anything, like, was anything
really gonna happen? They could've arrested him. He was
gonna fuck a bunch of women, but, like, they
were all gonna, they were all eating good, and they were all at, like,
camp. It all felt like a camp. They were, like,
he was fucking, like, 14-year-olds. Oh, really?
So, yeah, now, like, no. Well, he killed
a bunch of kids. Well, this guy's actions
led to the death of a bunch of children. Yes.
Ultimately, but he was, his hand
was forced by the government.
David Koresh was a bad man.
If the government didn't show up, it'd be like...
No, I was saying the UPS workers' actions
led to the death of all these kids.
Mickey Rooney killed a lot of people.
The thing is, David Koresh wasn't only just staying
in the compound all the time.
He'd go to town all the time.
If they wanted to arrest David Koresh,
the local sheriff could have just done it when he went to the
diner once. That's one of the best things about
the show.
He was an amateur musician
and he would go to open mic
nights and he would do covers of
My Sharona.
In the show, Taylor Kitsch is Koresh
and he's shredding My Sharona and being
really fucking awesome.
It's quite sick.
I guess should we just watch or should we just do the corner?
I haven't heard until now.
I've kept my story secret for the last 25 years.
I didn't want to take this to my grave.
Look at that.
Tell them there are children and women in here and to call it off.
This delivery man unwittingly armed the cult.
I have been blamed for what happened out there.
Who blames you?
Well, I just was.
Waco was a tale of a religious fringe group that decided to fight back against the federal government.
I want this on a t-shirt.
I want that on a t-shirt.
Their leader, David Koresh, a self-proclaimed son of God.
David Koresh's fucking t-shirt game was immaculate, dude.
He is very hip.
He had some sick-ass t-shirts.
His hair looked sick.
He had sick hair.
He kind of looks...
Who does he look like?
He kind of looks like Tom Hardy a little bit.
He looks to me like...
Who was Eric Bana?
Eric Bana.
He's got those pooky lips, though.
We get gay for Koresh. He's got those pooky lips, though. We can get gay for Koresh.
He's got the pouty lips.
I mean, the dude's got great hair.
The way he talked is so fucking annoying.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
Those videos he made.
We should watch the Koresh video.
Fuck this postal worker.
Yeah, show him being like...
Yeah, being like,
there are children.
You gotta get the video of him in the compound.
By the way, do you know who his lawyer was?
Was it our boy?
Yeah, our boy.
Shut the fuck up.
The fake cowboy.
Are you kidding?
No, no.
Actually, the fake cowboy went to the site of this.
He went to the compound, and he was negotiating with Koresh.
I regret everything we've done.
His lawyer was the guy that you...
Huh?
I regret everything we did.
I know, me too.
His lawyer was the guy that...
The fake cowboy.
He received a goof threat.
He received a goof.
He received a goof.
And one day we'll release him when the statute of limitations is up.
I have it saved.
It's in my archives.
I look at it every day and I go, one day.
I still need to see it.
I go, one day this video will take
us to the top.
She's fucking hot, dude. Look at those cheekbones.
Yeah, he wasn't a fucking
loser. He only had the best pussy
in his compound.
That's the best pussy in Waco.
It was all of that fucking compound.
The best pussy in Waco.
We should start a band called
The Best Pussy in Waco.
It's an armadillo.
Roll the tape.
Let's take a look.
David, anything you'd like to say?
He was like, I want to look like John McClane in Die Hard in all these videos.
Get me in the tank top.
Look at how fucking Arab and cool.
He looks like me.
No, you wish, dude.
He looks like me.
You wish, Otter.
He was fucking cool.
You know what kind of people we have here?
I'd like to start off first of all with my oldest son.
His name is Cyrus.
Come sit over here, son.
He was pretty shredded, too, dude.
He had 20 bodies.
He was killed in the fire?
Yeah.
Oh, God.
I think he...
Yeah.
I think he killed himself as the fire was erupting.
He pulled a Hitler?
I think so.
That's his son?
Yeah.
Why is he raising little fucking...
That was Cyrus.
That was Cyrus.
Your son looks like a girl, David.
Fix that.
Yeah, it's kind of crazy how he gaslit all the dudes in the building into letting him fuck their wives.
He had something.
Brilliant charm.
He's intensely pussy
hungry. I mean, I've watched the show.
All the men are like, they're willingly there.
Massive cucks. They're like, yeah, he like
I love David too.
Yeah. There was a multinational group
of people too. It was like a rainbow six of cucks.
They all like came out to Waco.
Like the best cucks in the world.
Yeah, the best cucks in the world.
Yeah, it was like the Expendables of cucks.
Just Sylvester Stallone and Dolph Lundgren watching their wives get fucked.
Like, hey, I'm going to fuck my wife.
Like, you fucked my wife. He... He...
fucked my wife.
Adrian, take it easy on him.
Adrian!
Adrian!
Adrian tickled the bone.
It's Jesus, Adrian.
Adrian, open up your asshole.
This video was not made public at the time,
and the notion is among critics that
the fbi didn't want people to of course they wouldn't let fucking people see this children
inside sick guitar by the way i don't think so he was first of all we don't conduct our
investigation in the in the media so if there was a delay at releasing the tapes,
that probably... I mean, if you really want to know the whole story about Waco,
don't watch the Showtime series, although it's very good.
You should watch Waco.
There's a documentary made about it.
On Netflix?
I don't know if it was on Netflix.
Yeah, there is one on Netflix.
Yeah, there's a doc on Netflix.
I like it a lot.
I think it's like Waco something something.
It's a really great...
It pisses you off.
Because there's like, you know,
the court case afterwards where they have Janet Reno's laughing about the National Guard lent them the tank to use. And like, you know, there's this great part in the court case where they have...
They were throwing flashbang grenades into like fucking kids rooms and shit.
And like, they're going, it's non-lethal.
And then the defense lawyer has, I think, somebody hold a flashbang grenade in their hand and goes,
will you be comfortable with that going off in your hand?
Also, if you fill a room up with tear gas, which is flammable, and then you throw in a flashbang,
which is incendiary, they're going to start a big fire, guaranteed.
So it was fucking ricochets will start a fire.
Sure, exactly.
It was basically murdered.
They were hoping
they would just run out of the compound,
but they were trapped in a weird basement.
So anyways, yeah,
Timothy McVeigh was sitting there watching.
He was at Waco. He went to
a crowd gathered at Waco.
So he's one of these people
watching.
And then he joined an
Aryan gang, and they started stockpiling Tannerite. This is interesting. He goes, man, I hate the government. And then he joined an Aryan gang and they started stockpiling Tannerites.
This is interesting. He goes like, man, I hate
the government. That's why I want to blow up a bunch of
innocent children and families
in Oklahoma. Don't talk shit
about Timothy McVeigh. Timothy McVeigh was a
psychopath piece of shit.
How?
How?
How?
So sincere.
He goes, how? We're talking about the oklahoma city bomber right yeah do you mean the oklahoma city hero
my apologies yeah you're using the shit the oklahoma city patriot
i apologize i didn't know i was being woke
yeah you know it is it is funny the show it's so like uh it's like you know they talk about didn't know I was being woke. Yeah. You know,
it is funny. The show, it's so like,
it's like, you know, they talk about the Turner Diaries
and all these crazy 1990s
like militia things. This is
like a slice of Americana. Earlier today,
John and I asked ChatGPT to write
like, I typed in like, write a 6th
grade level book report about the
Turner Diaries.
Which is, Turner Diaries.
Turner Diaries,
for people who don't know, is the most disgustingly racist book ever written that was
distributed amongst white power groups in the
90s about a fake race
war that happens in the 1970s
in America. It's just a horrific book.
It's McVeigh's favorite book. It's written by Andrew
McDonald. You can buy it
online. That's why it came up
because we were talking about our favorite authors and I said John, who's your favorite author? Andrew McDonald. You can buy it online. That's why it came up because we were talking about our favorite authors and I said
John is your favorite author. Andrew McDonald.
Let's just do
the corner. Let's do the corner.
We should do a My Sharona
for the corner.
What is the corner?
What is the...
I said send me Waco
questions.
Can we play this song? Can we play this song? I don't know. It's an instrumental. Like, what is the... I just... So I said, like, send me Waco questions. Questions about Waco?
Can we play this song? The Waco Siege and post-Waco Siege.
Can we play this song?
I don't know.
It's an instrumental.
Let's get it going.
Oh, hell yeah.
Great bass line.
Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom,
boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, hoo. Oh, the ATF is here.
Things are looking fishy.
I don't know what to do.
It's my compound.
Oh, oh, looks like people are getting shot.
Flamethrower grenades.
Everyone's dying.
Oh, it looks like my cult is kind of coming to an end.
On my compound.
Oh, the ATF is really, they're inching closer.
They're getting closer. Inching closer. Oh, boy,F is really, they're inching closer. They're getting closer.
Oh, boy, there's a guy in the fence.
In my compound.
Oh, I think all these kids are going to die.
All these women are going to die.
All my friends are going to die.
But I got some good pussy out of it.
David Koresh's compound.
David Koresh.
I live in a compound with a bunch of retards.
Oh, yeah.
It's amazing what you can do with charisma.
If you have a little charisma, you can have a compound.
51 days.
The ATF doesn't know about all the titty fucks I had in those 51 days.
It's my compound.
It's my compound. Yeah. You know David got head during that scene.
Oh, that was one of the best 51 days of sex.
Oh, yeah.
That was the best.
That's my new favorite song.
It's fucking the sounds of horses dying.
He's getting sucked.
I think that's my new favorite corner song.
That is.
That was the worst genuine song.
Yeah.
But the things I said were funnier. The funniest theme
and it was like a storytelling
song where you followed the siege
and it told
the story.
I'm a storyteller. Also, it's a good point
is that it was kind of worth the siege
because of all the great sex.
That's kind of what I was
trying to get across.
Waco questions only.
Waco.
Question number one.
Yeah.
If John was at Waco, would he be hiding in the basement like a bitch with David Thibodeau?
Or would he be fighting with David Koresh on the front lines from Walter Nichol?
First of all, I would like Halo 3 David Koresh.
I would kill him and take his gun.
And then I would like, it'd be like the end of fucking Logan.
I would be outside just fucking cutting ATF agents in half.
I wouldn't be in the fucking compound, dude.
I'd be running around full speed, fucking just beheading ATF agents.
Like a samurai sword.
It wouldn't even be a fucking battle.
I would have been known as, there'd be a lot less fucking federal agents.
That says a hypothetical.
Hypothetically, allegedly.
Do not recommend.
Yeah.
Okay, thank you.
Next question.
Yeah.
This man says, oh, fan favorite JP writer Morgan.
Love you, JP.
Love you, JP.
He says, okay, Bears, question.
If you guys were to start a cult similar to that of David Koresh, rest in peace, how would you two do it?
And when the ATF comes to get you two, would you rather die in a similar fashion to that of our friends in the Davidians, or would you take a different ending?
Love you, boys. J.B. Rattermorgan.
Bushido code clearly dictates if you have to choose between life and death, you choose death. Always.
I think that I'm obviously dying
in the compound, and I'm doing it
with great sex, or ideally
I'm going to beat the ATF somehow.
Well, you died. If you think
Joey's dying, I'm dying.
So,
how would we start? What would the religion be based on?
So, I think you and I would be good at kind of a Scientology kind of thing,
where we come up with a great lore that describes, you know, humanity,
and how we're going to eventually save everybody.
We'd have to tell everyone we're the same person split in two.
And, like, we're a yin and a yang kind of thing.
I love that.
You know what I mean?
And, like, we're actually one being,
but there's too much being.
It's kind of like, you know how Yacoub had two brains?
How would we split up the whores?
Because it might get heated.
Well, you just need to,
no, you share them all.
We share all.
We don't need to split them.
You just share them.
What if we get possessive of the whores?
I'm a pretty easy to get along with guy.
Me too.
Fair enough.
We'd figure it out.
It's not the hardest thing.
Listen, if anybody can figure it out, it's a couple of bears.
You ever see that very famous photo of that court case in the 90s where it's the couple
splitting up their beanie babies?
Yes.
That's just me and Joey splitting up whores.
It's us with Waco whores.
Okay, next question.
If John had to manufacture a homemade explosive
to defend, in air quotes, the compound,
what would he make from Joe Hess?
I mean, like, you can do...
There's so many you can make.
I've read the Impvised munitions manual Put out by the US Army
You can find it online
Don't need to spread that
Yeah you can
There's tons of different
It depends on what you want to do right
So you'd have multiple kind of options
I don't want to talk about this on the podcast
What this? Yeah that's a pretty crazy one Well listen hypothetically of options i would i don't want to talk about this on the podcast this is what what this yeah
that's a pretty crazy listen hypothetically the manual hypothetically they would be remote
controlled they what well some of them have to be triggered by motion some of them have to be
triggered by pressure no i don't want to do triggered by motion because i have too many
civilians living on the compound well i mean this would be i got this very that's very respectful
yeah yeah i i would just tell the kids stay out of that area.
That's where they're coming.
That's where they would be coming from.
If they ever come,
you don't play there now because we will be surrounded eventually at all.
Well,
then you stay inside.
No,
no.
We want to be able to run and play outside with the kids.
Oh God.
Okay.
Yeah.
Also,
I would have grenade launchers and more tar.
Which you can make a...
Oh, God, I can't talk about this.
You can make a...
What's it called?
What's the fucking...
Napalm.
You can do a pretty slam fire grenade launcher.
John looks so cool with his fucking injury on his eye.
I know.
Thanks, man.
It looks awesome.
Yeah.
At the bar, he's like swatting away
pussy non-stop. Yeah, I mean,
I get a lot of questions about the...
You're looking at like real fights.
Like non-sanctioned fights.
You know what's funny though is like
everybody just thinks I'm like
scrapping. This guy came in
today and he was just like, what happened to your eye?
And everyone's all concerned.
But, you know, a lot of people don't even notice it.
Yeah.
Next question.
John should drop his dream to be on a reality TV show and start a new one,
which is a Waco replica survival show where John has to use his charisma and tactical skills to start a cult and then survive an FBI siege.
That's not really a question.
What would you name the show from Sophia?
Interesting idea. Kind of a bad question,
Sophia.
I would call it
WeCo.
You know what I mean?
WeCo.
WeCo.
MyCo.
MyCo. Oh, interesting. Okay, another one. Cute, cute, cute. Myco.
Myco.
Myco question.
Yeah.
Would Dave and the gang have been successful if they weaponized the kids from a Wuhan Shrek?
They fucking did.
They did.
They used them to their advantage, but then the ATF didn't care because they're murderers.
Yeah.
I think Wuhan Trek means
what if they kind of like put strap bombs
to them?
Shut up Wuhan Trek.
I don't think they were willing to do that.
The ATF struck first.
If they did that
could they have defeated?
No.
The ATF striked first.
People started the gunfire. People think that the ATF opened Because the National Guard... The ATF striked first, right? People started the gunfire.
People think that the ATF
opened fire first, yeah.
I don't... Well, it depends
on those four guys who went into the building.
Couple more questions.
If John were able
to suck off David Koresh on the day
of the siege, would he have been
able to prevent the deaths of innocent children?
No, I'm saying... What he meant to say was, would you have sucked off Koresh have been able to prevent the deaths of innocent children? No, I'm saying, he's saying
what he meant to say was, would you have sucked
off Koresh on the siege to prevent
the death? Oh, the deaths of innocent, yes.
100%. He also would have
do it for free. No.
No, no, if it was for free, if
I'm gay for pay, bro. You would do it
for $5.
Yep, yep, yep. Okay,
well, a couple more. Two more.
One more, actually.
Joey and John, if you were members of the FBI's
hostage rescue team, would you
volunteer yourselves to have a
gay threesome with David Koresh
to settle the dispute? Also, John,
where were you on the morning of April
19th, 1995?
You look awfully close to John Doe, number
two.
I was three years old.
Okay, so he's three.
He's referring to a suspect that was never identified at the Oklahoma City bombing.
Oh, interesting. And then he says, P.S.
Look into this person.
Blah, blah, blah.
Trevor from Trevor E.
What was the question even?
There really wasn't a question.
Oh, what do we have?
Gay sex. They're all on drugs. It's like,'t a question. Oh, what do we have? Gay sex?
They're all on drugs.
It's like, you get it.
Guys, come on.
They send in,
I get a million messages by people
and then they apologize the next day
to say they were hammered
or they were like on heroin.
I got a message from a guy's Instagram name
was homeless fucking loser.
Homeless fucking loser. And the message and the message the message i'm actually coming out with that fucking name
and the message was just like yeah just just making your screen name what your mom just told
you what the message your girlfriend calls you Your girlfriend calls you. Yeah, your girlfriend calls you.
He was literally just saying,
hey, I live in my car
and my Armenian parents
kicked me out of the house.
Yeah, we know that game.
He's like,
can I just borrow like 500 bucks?
He asked you for money?
Yeah, he's been begging me for money.
He's a fucking loser.
He goes,
he goes,
well, dude,
what a homeless fucking loser.
I got an accurate name.
HFL, we love you.
We love you.
We appreciate you, but we're not giving you money.
You're the worst.
I don't have any money, fucko.
Are you insane?
What do you think?
But he goes, no, I love your show.
Can I have 500 bucks?
What do you think we make here, HFL?
Oh, thanks.
You like us. Yeah, what? By the way think we make here hfl you like us yeah what we make
by the way we make like 3600 a month and people are stealing the show on discord some some guy
by the way fucking his name's like ambient or something somebody sent me this and it came to
my attention there's this guy on discord stealing all of our Patreon episodes and he thinks he's like Paul Revere.
That guy hit me up.
He runs through the streets like,
I have the new episode.
It's just for the people, man.
You're stealing from a grassroots,
very fucking small show
that is not supporting everyone that is doing it.
And you're being an asshole.
Devin sounds like Metallica.
Honestly, it's just
it helps the
it helps the Patreon
numbers in the end. I guess.
I'm just saying it's lame.
The pirate messaged me and he goes
like, dude, I have to be honest with you. I've been
stealing his show for a long time and I've been
distributing it.
I don't mind stealing it personally.
But then he goes,
I love this show more than anybody and I just
signed up on Patreon.
Of course he's been on Patreon.
He needs to be on there to steal the show.
That's like, hey dude, I love
your store. I actually saw
it last night when I was inside of it
taking from you.
I can't be mad at him for some reason,
but yeah, I guess please stop.
Yeah, stop, retard.
We don't make any fucking money here.
Yeah, I don't have health insurance.
You're an asshole.
You're like, that's like insane.
I keep doing it.
Keep doing it.
I give you permission.
Stop doing it.
I know you're trying to like share the show.
It's $5.
If you don't have $5
$5 a month, by the way.
For your favorite thing, then you don't have $5 $5 a month for your favorite thing,
then you don't get to
listen to it. And we also
do one for free. So you're an
asshole. I know you think you're doing
this because you're this
civil rights leader of the fucking internet.
I'm helping everybody, man.
It's $5.
You could beg for
$5 a day and get it
easily. Oh, yeah. So,
it was annoying. If we were
some massive show, I don't give a fuck.
Not even massive. If we were all making
a living, I'm like, yeah, whatever. I get that.
It's par for the course. But, like, it's just
a little annoying at this point that it's like
that's even an issue. I saw all
our episodes just for free.
Oh, yeah. Because of this scumbag.
And he's abusing the fact that
I let RSS feeds
be downloadable on Patreon
because I don't give a shit and I'm a man of the people
but I can't even trust you because
the people, some of them
suck ass.
Also, by the way, YouTube, how about you ban that
guy? We're constantly getting banned
by YouTube.
He's not on YouTube. Right. How about this?
He's not on YouTube.
He's on Discord, stealing our episodes and sharing them. What is he uploaded to?
He uploads them in an audio file form, and he goes, here's all the hate watch episodes, guys.
Oh, okay.
He does it with Lemon Party, too.
What a nerd.
It's fucking, like, man, we're not that big yet.
Like, you can do it at a certain point, I guess, because it's, like, whatever.
It's inevitable.
This is, that's, I know you's i we all have stolen stuff online you're not
you're not sharing john wick for with your friends by the way that okay that flat earther
lawyer girl that i know yeah she i don't talk to her anymore, but she used to steal Tim Dillon's Patreon.
Right.
Yeah.
And she told me about how, and she's a fucking lawyer.
She's like a rich Persian.
Right, right, right, yeah.
And so it's like a lot of these people aren't like destitute.
Like an established person.
You're just doing it because you're, yeah.
They're just cheap and they're like, hey, this is easy.
You're a cheap asshole.
Yeah.
So with Tim, it's like, you know, he's making a ton of money.
It still is lame, but like just come on i mean it's a little annoying somebody sent me that today and i'm like we don't we're not even at 5k yet there's three people on this
show you're stealing from us like i i you know i allow people to download it so they can if they're
on a road trip and they don't have data they can listen to it if they're on a road trip and they don't have data,
they can listen to it.
If they're on a plane,
they can listen to it and download it.
That's a lot more than a lot of other podcasts do.
And you're going to use that against us?
Come on, dude.
We don't.
We make nothing here.
I personally do this because
I do it for the people
and I don't care about money.
And so I don't echo these sentiments.
I do it for the people. And I want you guys to listen and be good.
Well, you're hurting John.
I'm the little crying baby.
John could quit his job if this show took off.
I turn on my car, and Devin's main goal is for me to not get stabbed.
I want John to quit his job and live off the podcast.
That would be nice.
That would be sweet.
When I start my car, there's like 14 electronic alerts that happen that I have to go through your car your car your car oh shit your car's about to die now too i gotta
i'll fix it dude my car's farm equipment bro what are the electronic alerts your battery's dying
no oh uh fucking i gotta make tired it's it's stupid don't worry i just gotta get an oil change
next week but still this is what we're talking about. If you see my car, stop stealing from a fucking unknown show,
asshole. I know you think you're like fucking
you know, Cesar Chavez
because, you know, hey, we all
love it. It's for the people. I know I say that.
He wants Discord. You get a free
one. If you don't have five bucks,
that's the point. Like, now you're ruining
the point of the whole, like, barrier
and whatever. I know there's not even that many
people on the discords.
It was just kind of frustrating.
It's like all
of them in a row.
I'm like, that's so gay.
You're such a loser.
Stop doing that. It's gay.
It's really gay.
You think you're being
this ultimate human
and it's like you're just kind of being a dick. By the way, I just want to say, if you are destitute, if you're like being like, you know, this ultimate human. And it's like, you're just kind of being a dick.
By the way, I just want to say, if you are destitute, if you're actually very poor and
you can prove, no, no, no.
I'll give you my Patreon.
Bank statements.
I need bank statements.
I'll give you my password.
Yeah.
I will too, honestly.
Or I'll send them the episode.
Sure.
I'll have it on my computer.
I'll send you the, but like, that's just like a wee, it was just annoying.
It was just annoying. It is. It's a But that's just like a... It was just annoying.
It's a gross, weird thing to do.
It's just weird.
You're not stealing from a record company or some...
It's not Lil Wayne's music.
We have nothing.
You're an asshole. You're a fucking asshole.
Let's move on from this.
Should we wrap it up?
When's the Lakers starting?
Seven?
Yeah, seven.
Six-fifty-eight.
Yeah, that's our two minutes.
All right.
We're going to wrap it up.
I love everybody.
Devin's going to go upstairs.
Do you mind if I take this?
Yeah, you can have the soda in the bag.
All right.
Thank you.
That's all yours.
Joey R. LaFleur on Instagram.
John Badman, twoDs on Instagram.
I didn't mean to get that crazy.
I'm just politely asking.
I'm glad you like the show, guy.
But just, it is lame.
And it's not that cool with how much we're not making.
Just stop.
It's annoying.
It's just annoying.
And I know I can't stop it.
You'll just keep doing it. But it's just annoying and i know i can't stop it you'll just keep doing it
but like it is just kind of annoying because like if we even if we were at 5k i'd be like uh
but we're like nothing this show has had the longest like i know it's crazy i'm just saying
we've had the longest like like like wait time in terms of growth and we're finally getting there
and all we do is try for you and it's just it's just obnoxious to just feel like you're just like a little small-time thief
of a nothing you know so and i also didn't mean to uh say that these guys aren't uh a huge part
of the show if you took that wrong at the beginning they are the body of the show joey
and john are everything to me and they make this show what it is and I love them with all my heart.
I love every listener.
Is this the bad one? Yeah, it's the bad mic.
I forgive you for what you said.
God bless.
Good night. Bye-bye.