Hate Watch with Devan Costa - Punching Nazis

Episode Date: February 5, 2024

Books, getting attacked at a bar for no reason, hotel employee beats himself up in front of customer, guy follows girl home after date, auditor tries to get into a school https://www.patreon.com/HateWatchPodcast Support the show & get 20% off your 1st Sheath order at https://www.sheathunderwear.com with promo code HATEWATCH

It's good to be in something from the ground floor. I came too late for that. I know. But lately I'm getting the feeling that I came in at the end. The best is over. Many Americans, I think, feel that way. Alright. Yeah.

Why don't you guys take over today? I'm going to read. Ooh! N-word, N-word, N-word, N-word. What a biography. Is that the new Kumi? It's the new Kumi. Is that the new Kumi? It's actually, it's great if you love O and A.

It's a bunch of history and stuff. Does he talk about like Patrice and stuff? No, not yet. I mean, I'm like 150 pages in. It's just really about all the times I got fired. When's the last time you read a book? Opie's book. Yeah, I read Opie's book.

And that's written in crayon. I read a book last year. What's the gay guy? David Sedaris' book. What was it? I don't know. I'm reading Bean's biography from Kevin and Bean. It's called Me Talk Pretty One Day.

You read that? Yeah. What'd you think? It's fine. It's about a retard, right? No, it's about his little queer escapades as a kid. Why would you pick that book? I had his mom bought it for me.

It's funny, but every time I'm reading it, I go, I mean, Twitter's so much better than this. That's one of those things you get somebody like, oh, they do comedy. Okay, who's like the only comedy writer? They probably, they Google like comedy. Dude, I'm at Ben's all the time. You know, he's Mr. Big Shot with the books. There's millions of books. They're always talking about names of famous old books and writers.

And I'll open them for a little bit before we record and read over it. I keep rereading the same paragraph. My mind goes fucking blank. I need it to be easy reading. It needs to be about the Lakers' dynasty run. I hate

trying to figure out, wait, who's this guy again? I actually hate people who read yeah i think it's pompous dude the only thing that i can read and then i can read forever though is like the wikipedia of a serial killer yeah or like i dug into like lizzie borden she like ax murdered her mom and stepmom or dad and stepmom see that's great i need to go juicy i could have gone for like 500 pages i need to know juicy. I could have gone for 500 pages. I need to know

what happened. My hatred for readers started as a mover in New York because when people just own a million books, the heaviest box in the world. And there's so many days

where I'm picking up like the 15th book box and I want to be like, you think you're fucking better than me? Like I was losing it. Well, you know they're not. I think there's a lot

of frauds out there. I don't think they're reading. Yeah. I tried to read the books. I think they are. I don't think they're reading. Yeah. I mean, I think they are. I think they are. I don't know, man. People read. It's also, though, my thing is, like, it's not, reading books is not that much better

than watching a movie. It is, it is just escapism. I don't really understand why they get so much more credit. You get a lot more information with books. Or watch a documentary. That's a specific thing. Yeah, no, documentaries can give you, but, like, I don't know. I tried to read the books that, like, Ben reads, and I did that, and it just made me hate reading. Yeah. So now I can give you but like, I don't know. I tried to read the books that like Ben reads and I did that and it just

made me hate reading. So now I'm just reading things I've... Like I keep trying to read Blood Meridian and then it just goes into some like weird Bible passage thing. No, seriously. That's how I fucking... You always tell people that you... I read Blood Meridian but I skipped half of it. I'm like, well then that's

not... Welcome back to English 101. If it's boring, skip it. No, seriously. That's my fucking advice on, like, Cormac McCarthy is if it starts, like, getting into this weird, like, fucking Bible passage Nietzsche thing, I don't like fire and brimstone. Like, I don't know.

Watch the room. I was about to just go, like, I don't know what that means, but... Just reading Cormac McCarthy, like, what is this baby bullshit it just feels like a preacher going ooh

I don't know I just don't get it I guarantee you I have the same grasp on Blood Meridian as anyone who's read the full Blood Meridian the last time I read

a book book I forget the name of it already but it was like an interesting like neo holes neo noir I was like

coming down off Adderall and I had the ability to just be like I don't I'm just locked in I read like coming down off Adderall and I had the ability to just be like I'm just locked in I read like a full book in like a day and I've never done that in my life and I never will again I literally think it's been about nine years since I've read a book

damn dude you look like you would read I can't read I'm not kidding you ask me to read out loud every time you read out loud I go us. I can't read. I'm not kidding. You ask me to read out loud. Every time you read out loud, I go, god damn, he's good. If I'm asked to read out loud, I'm in fourth grade again. That's crazy

because you do look like you read. We look like we use books as a fire source. John especially. I'm sure. I'm wearing my public library shirt. Oh yeah, you're Mr. Intellectual Homeless. I'm always there. You're Mr. Big Shot.

They have a DVD section in there. It looks like a video rental store. It kind of kicks ass. Yeah, I mean, libraries do that. They have everything you want. But I heard they're edited. Me and Ryan were working on scripts for a while, and I would read back the thing I just wrote,

and I couldn't get through it. And he was like, what the fuck is wrong with you? And I was like, don't do that wrong with you? And I was like, don't do that to me, man. You talk on stage for like a living. How are you not able to speak? I think it's ADHD.

I think it's my mind just skips four words every time I like read. Do you think you're dyslexic? I don't think it's dyslexia. I think it's ADHD. I actually saw this thing on Twitter one time where they like, it's a certain type of font for ADHD

where they embolden the first two letters of each word and I can read no problem oh that's cool yeah it's actually because you're my because you're my mind tries to predict what the sentence is as I'm reading it yeah but the hunger font is what they call that thank you so much I really um I think I got fucked with the reading because in school I hated it I hated being forced to read something yeah also like that would decide my future if I got the test wrong about it so I always look at every book like it's part of a curriculum or like if there's

a date or a town it took me a long time to just read it and enjoy it as opposed to be like alright remember that, that's going to be on the test I'm like 29, I'm like it's going to be on the test I hated popcorn reading, that shit sucked too, dude. Like getting called on.

You'd skip to, how would that work? The next guy would call somebody? You could stop in the middle of a sentence and go, popcorn to Devin. And he'd be like, oh, fuck, where were we? It forces you to follow along now remembering, yeah. There was a fun thing, though, I did. I had a black friend in class in high school. And every time we read a book that had a lot of the N-word in it, I'd be reading it.

I'd go, popcorn to Sam. On the N-word? And then he would just say the N word in it, I'd be reading it and I'd go, Popcorn to Sam. On the N word? And then he would just say the N word and he goes, Popcorn to Connor. That's great. That's sick. Yeah.

Yeah, I don't like, I mean, obviously there's great writers that have great imagery or whatever, but there's a lot of times I'm reading a book and I'm like,

enough. Stop describing how the wind blew. Yeah. I don't give a shit. Right. No, just tell me that it's in an alley and I've seen it. the wind blew a guy. I don't give a shit. Right. No, just tell me that it's in an alley. You're like, I get it.

The wind blew a guy. Cool. Truly, sometimes it does feel like it's just, they're just, they're trying to show off how many different ways, how many words they can use to describe one thing. Yeah. You know what I mean?

It is kind of, in a way, maybe a little, we sound like complete retards, but it does feel like I'm like, just say it, it's glossy. Yeah, I agree. You don't need 80 different ways to describe it being glossy looking. I think over poetically describing scenery makes it harder to understand. Therefore, you're a bad writer, actually.

I think it's masturbatory. And I think, once again, these geniuses need to be stopped. I actually think if you write a book, you're a fucking dumbass. That's what I think. I hate writers. Big ass, dumbass. Fucking bitch. Fucking asshole.

Fucking asshole. Fucking asshole fags. We're becoming the most anti-intellectual podcast. Joey, do you read? What's the last book you read? I have been reading Is a Manifesto considered a book?

Actually, kind of. A listener sent me a booby trap manual from the army. It's not a story or anything, but it was cool. They teach you how to put a bomb into a chair. It's just random cool stuff like that. And then my girlfriend bought me a chess book where Gary Kasparov, it's called My Great Predecessor Bobby Fischer, and it's just Gary Kasparov, it's called My Great Predecessor Bobby Fisher, and it's just Gary Kasparov talking about Bobby

Fisher and all of the games that he played. There are images of chess boards and the moves that he's making. And then he just breaks down. He'll give you the context. At this point in time in chess, nobody was playing this opening and Bobby Fisher.

I'll get obsessed with something like chess and i'll read it and then like when i was playing poker i'd read poker books and stuff right but like a novel or something about something i'm completely obsessed with i haven't read like a book like a store like a blood meridian type thing in a long fucking time i can't just sit and be like i'm gonna get into this fictional story right now like i don't know i just get antsy. Especially if the book's nice and new. I love buying a book and feeling like a hot shot.

Me too, by the way. I love doing that. I'm in New York. I'm going to go to this famous bookstore and get two books and bring them on the plane with me. Then I just open them and I look at them for a long time and I just feel them a lot. Then I just put it away. I go, there's a TV in front I just feel them a lot. That place. And then I just put it away. I don't.

I go, there's a bunch of, I go, there's a TV in front of me. Hauser and Worth by my house where that one restaurant is. You know what I'm talking about? Yeah. Yeah. They have a little bookstore in there. It's an art exhibit. Oh yeah.

Yeah. Like when I first moved. I thought that was it. So that exists. That's a place. What else you got? No, but when I first moved to my apartment, it's right across the street. And I was like, just look, exploring.

I didn't even know it was a bookstore. I just walked in and then it was a bookstore. And there's all these fucking people looking at me like, why is he in here? So then I got all nervous and I just bought the biggest book they had. It was like a thousand pages. It would cost like 60 bucks.

And I'm like, yeah, what are you fucking guys reading? Like you're the guy benching the most at the gym? Yeah, exactly. You guys want ketchup? I didn't read one page of it. I started to read a page and I was just like, what was the book? I don't even know. It was a book that was published like a hundred years ago, and then it was lost.

It was the Bible. No. It was some crazy philosopher that wrote it. Sort of another manifesto now that I think about it. I don't remember the title, but it was a fascinating back-of-the-book kind of explanation. And then once I started reading I was like never mind

like they made it sound way better than it was I love the idea of you accidentally buying a manifesto that's really it was like some crazy guy's philosophy

about life Chris Dorner yeah yeah I don't know you're the same anytime I walk into a bookstore too they know I'm not

meant to be there yeah security follows me and stuff same as any museum I've ever gone to. Sure. People just look at me, and people kind of follow me around. Yeah.

Like, they know I'm not. I would follow you at a museum if I was a guard. Yeah. The sole purpose of me going to a bookstore is finding, like, posters. Yeah. That's all I'm like, you guys got a poster? I really, there's a, there's. You got big pictures for me to look at?

There's people that really, really, they're about that life, and they really do do it, and they love it. And then I really believe reading and art, you know? Sure. People that go to the moment, like, legitimately enjoy that day and don't drag their ass the whole day. I drag my ass. Like, I'm always back in, like, school.

I just feel like I'm at a field trip, and I'm like, oh, my God. Ah! That type of shit. I fucking hate museums. I hate it. There's always, like, one cool. And I'm like, oh my God. That type of shit. I fucking hate museums. I hate it. There's always one cool part where you're like, oh, this lady used to draw pussies or something. You're like, I'm going to jack off.

She was famous in New York in the 40s or whatever. She was the first lesbo that drew cunts. That's on the little poster. That's what it said. First lesbo who drew cunts. You put the headphones on. It's the first year. It's like that Archie Bush. Before you. That's on the little poster. That's what it said. For Celeste by Who Drew College. You put the headphones on, like it's the first year.

It's like the Archie Bush. 1960. So I always enjoy that stuff, but all the other, I don't know. I just don't, I don't even believe in history really. Yeah, that's the craziest stuff.

That is, that's my, that's my podcast. Dumbest podcast. When they say, it says like, it just, when it says like, it just says like 492

It's like a stone that some guy had a bunch or something I don't believe you Yeah, I just don't believe you like you found a rock. Yeah like Egyptian shit I'm like that just looks like some lady wore that in the 1920s and got like raped at a party. That's not Farrah I don't believe in Pharaohs or not... I don't believe in pharaohs or anything. You don't believe in pharaohs? I don't believe in anything, really. I love that. I don't even know if...

If we don't have pictures of them... I don't believe in Wilt's 100-point game. Why would I believe in... I mean, I'm kidding. Do you believe in mummies? Sure, I guess. They have them. What if they're new mummies? I guess, sure. They have them. They have them. But how do you know they're new?

What if they're new mummies? How would we know? Because they can detest and carbon dating and stuff. Yeah, carbon dating. But what would be the point of creating a fake mummy? That's why I'm asking Devin.

I believe in history. I'm trying to get into Devin's mind. I'm just, I think, you know, I think people like to live in the past. You know, I don't, I'm a healthy man. I like to move forward in life. You dismiss all his stories.

He's like, some people like to live in the past. Our culture is obsessed with people that can't get over the past. That's why there's no evolving anymore. But the past teaches you about the future. Really? Because we've never changed. We keep making the same mistakes. People have been saying that forever, too.

I don't think we're going to do slavery again. Has the past taught us anything? Devin's like, now is a gift, and that's why they call it the present. But then, John. Okay, slavery. But then if you get. Next, please. Like, slavery or like, you know.

If you get too into history, you start becoming one of those guys that goes, you know, slavery wasn't even really about black people. Oh, those guys are retarded. It was an economic thing, and black people sold black people. You just keep going. You're making it up. They're making up history. Slavery didn't even happen. Not only are we the dumbest,

most racist pod ever now. I hate other races. I hate... I hate books so much I'm going to burn them. You know what I'm saying? I see those houses in the south. The plantations. Yeah, and I go, come on.

We couldn't figure out a way to keep this. Wait, what? Great big house, unbelievable driveway. We had to end it all. We had to turn this place into some fucking museum. Just get rid of the slaves that are just get rid of the black people

that are slaves and let us still do that get rid of the black people yeah let the black that in response to slavery I didn't mean that get rid of these black people I meant get rid of

a guy so racist back in the day he goes to a house with a bunch of slaves he's like get them the fuck out of here he doesn't even want them to slave he's like

what the fuck are they doing in my house I don't know you know we just but once again the fuck are they doing at my house I don't know you know we just but once again I don't think I don't look

I don't I move on I move forward you're obsessed with the past that's why you make terrible modern decisions yeah that's because you just

keep thinking about World War II and you can't I'm obsessed you think more about 60, 70 years ago than you do your next week and that's why you're living

that's why you're in shambles all the time. I can't stop reading about World War II. But you are considered smarter than me because you can recite all these things. I get that. But at the same time... I'm retarded. I just recite facts. At the same time... You're considered less retarded than Devin, though, because of your facts. Devin is

a different kind of retarded. It's like a Bulbasaur and a Charmander. It's like... Sure.aur and a charm a charmander like it's like it's it's like sure yeah we're two different like types but the thing is is like i can i can you know i i can recite weird history things all day but like i i take a shower at a gym devin has his own shower you know what i mean right sure but uh yeah i i just i i the time. I've read like six books, but that's a brand new thing. I haven't read six books. I've read six books in the past, like two months.

Oh, I thought you meant your whole life. At a certain point though, isn't that just a different form of like reading fiction? All the, no, no, no. This is my favorite Devin Kossett take. Like I'm reading my stories, man. Like that type of shit. I have a list in my head. It's more valued by society, but I totally agree with you.

It's like the same thing. I think that Q's Chess as an example. I think Angry Birds is on a similar level of value as getting good at chess. That's amazing. I really think they're close to the best. Like a guy that gets amazing at a video game, right? Right. No.

Wins tournaments and shit. Right. amazing like i really think like a guy that gets amazing at a video game right no wins like tournaments right but if you get very very good at chess like government you'll meet the president and people consider you a genius automatically yeah nobody's considering like some video game pro a genius yeah but i see no difference but there's more there's more money in becoming a professional gamer than a chess player. So it's actually even smarter to do that. But yeah, no, there's like a handful of guys that make money playing chess professionally. What's like the cap though? How much money can you make being a professional chess player?

So like Magnus Carlsen made like 300k. He's the number one chess player in the world. That's garbage. No, no, no. So that was like within a three month period. He made $300,000. And then he has endorsements and stuff. But yeah,

no, like a professional video game guy. What's the tournament called? Which one? In chess? World Champion Trip. Oh, no, no. Major League Gaming? Yeah, whatever it is. Those guys make millions of dollars from the one tournament. Well, because people tune in. People are more obsessed with video games than they are chess. Well, because if people tune in, people are more obsessed

with video games than they are chess. Well, I can't remember the guy's name, but there's a guy who, the most famous streamer. Fuck Ninja or whatever?

Yeah. Yeah, so he's probably got like a hundred million bucks. Oh, oh, he's- PewDiePie. PewDiePie, sure, exactly, right? So, there's nobody like that in chess.

Probably the richest guy in chess might have five million bucks. You can make like six figures being like a chess coach, though, right? So there's nobody like that in chess. Probably the richest guy in chess might have $5 million. You can make like six figures being a chess coach though, right? Yeah, you could make like $100K a year if you're a very popular chess coach and you did it all the time. So Devin is PewDiePie. You are a chess player. I've spent like three months reading World War II books and all it accumulated was to me.

Still living in an office. Yeah, living in an office. Me telling Devin, we watched Fury the other night. Like Devin was like, was this true? And I was like, yeah, yeah. And that was all I fucking accumulated too. Yeah, it was really just that. I was like, did that really happen?

And John would go, yeah. And I'd be like, well, you wasted three hours figuring that out. And all I did was ask you real quick and I'm enjoying the movie more than you. Devin's like, they didn't have machines like that. And I was like, no they did. You're talking about tanks? Yeah. They couldn't

shoot big cannonballs like this. Yeah, I don't know. My whole life I've gone I get insecure about the reading thing. I don't. I let go. I don't care anymore. I have a massive insecurity about like education. Like I never went to college and shit. I didn't either. I mean I, education. Like, I never went to college and shit.

I didn't either. I mean, I did, but I fucking, you never took, like, community college class? Yeah, but I would start as a full-time student every semester. I'd drop every single class until it was, like, an elective. That's exactly the thing I did. And then I'd fail it. Yeah. I was, like, failing Photoshop every, that's, and one grade.

Yeah. I hung out, I hung out at one point with, like, a lot of people who, like, graduated, who were, like, incredibly smart. Yeah. And I was, like, the fucking dumbest guy in that group and there was something I had a huge chip on my shoulder hanging out with those guys because I was like fuck you they could read those books

I love hanging out with smart I don't have that to be honest especially like tech guys and really smart developers and shit I work with them constantly guys who are just like okay you actually are probably a genius. I never feel insecure. I'm always just like, I'm annoying as fuck with them, though.

I'll just be like, I'll ask a million questions. I'll never learn one thing they explain, but I'm just being like, well, how the fuck did you make this just by typing numbers? And they'll just sit there and go. I still retract to high school bully mentality. When someone's smarter than me, I'm like, you fucking nerd. I want to beat them up.

Here's the thing. Is reading all these books, is it just a symptom of being a loser with no social life? I agree. I fully agree. You know, I got places to go people to see, bub. You bet. I don't got time. I don't got time to read Sound of the Fury, okay?

All right. Can't read that book. I'm hungover, dumbass. Are you kidding me? All right, I'm going to eat some fast food and then start drinking again later to get rid of this damn headache. How am I supposed to rewatch The Departed

if I'm reading that damn book? I've met guys, though, that are, like, incredibly good socially, and they're also, like, simultaneously geniuses. Oh, there are people that are well-rounded, smart every area, socially smart, book smart, everything. There are guys like that. Most of them, most of the really smart guys in one field happen to be terrible socially. I have a buddy who was going to be a secret agent, and then I have a friend who was going to be a secret agent.

No, literally, literally. He was going to be a secret agent with the government and then is now incredibly successful and is just living the best life and is incredibly funny and social. And it's like guys like that I'm just amazed by sometimes. It's just fucking nuts. Yeah, I guess I never feel dumb though.

That's the thing. When people are regurgitating facts about history, I'm never like, fuck, I wish I knew that i'm just like enjoying them talk about it i also don't ever feel dumb for not knowing this is a self-defense mechanism i think for my ego but why the way that i get by not feeling dumb as i go like because i ask enough questions to go like oh if i just became obsessed i could do what you do for sure yeah yeah really it's just i i know if i cared I could process the same shit. I just don't care.

I don't care. I could hear a guy say it real quick. I also don't take in any information unless I genuinely care. Yeah. You tell me things all the time that are fascinating. And then I move right on.

I don't, like, think about it all fucking day. Have you seen the new Too Lazy to Try video? A day goes by, somebody could, I could be like, oh, yeah, my friend was saying something about, I don't know. But, yeah, I heard that. I always go like, I heard that. But I don't, I can't really repeat it. Yeah, the only time I ever feel like I should be reading, though, is when I'm watching, like, five YouTube documentaries about Burt Kreischer back to back. I'm like, I should crack open a book.

This is fucking unbelievable. This is hurting my brain. So recently, Burt Kreischer was on the Joe Rogan Experience and I'm like, where's the book? I need a book.

Yeah. No, I do. You could put a whole book on it. I feel like my brain's rotting sometimes when I do that, but it's more entertaining. Yeah. Quite frankly.

I should actually just have Too Lazy to Try transcribe the video in two words. You just read. If it were that same guy doing a video, Too Lazy to Try, I was like, and so anyways, like Abraham Lincoln was talking to like his lawyer. And so like they were supposedly like. And this is really funny because this happened like a month before Lincoln like got like

shot. So it was like, and so it's just like, it like looks really bad in the comment section for him. He's like, it's the same fucking thing, except for like one of them it looks really bad in the comment section for him. It's the same fucking thing, except for like one of them is considered more important socially. So recently, Abraham Lincoln went to a play and that's it.

Yeah. Now, fuck knowledge and we're on to you at the Hate Watch Pod. You're all liars. Yeah. Phonies. Frauds. I know guys that wear a suit every day and they use words

that they know most people in their lives aren't understanding and they do it on purpose as this weird one-upping of them. You know people can't understand you yet you still talk in this incredibly verbose manner. Trying to's like you're not good at communicating.

I know a guy that I'll go hang out with him sometimes and he's reading at a bar like a fucking asshole. You're a fucking asshole. I do that constantly. You loser. You're supposed to party at bars. You're trying to get pussed though when you do that. Yeah I'm hoping like a hot chick

will be like what are you eating? Exactly. That was the point I made last week. You ever see a guy who can try to get puss, though, when you do that. Yeah, I'm hoping, like, a hot chick will be like, what are you eating? Exactly. That was the point I made last week. I'm like, you ever see a guy who can try to get laid with an apple? John does that. John will prowl. John prowls little, like, bookstores. I went to. Do you, like, wait for, like, chicks to pick up a book that you kind of know about? And you're like, oh, interesting.

No. What do you do? Well, it hasn't happened yet. He does. He does. He goes, mind conf. That's great. I know. He goes, chapter seven, what do you do? It hasn't happened yet. He does. He does. He goes, Mein Kampf. That's great. I know.

It was chapter seven. What do you think? I was buying a book for somebody around Christmas and John came with me to the bookstore and I saw him in his element and he was like,

really, like a couple hipster chicks. Like, we're like, you should get this one and you were like, oh yeah, should I? Like, what is that, you should get this one. And you were like, oh, yeah? Should I? Like, what is that one about?

John will hit me up and go like, dude, the last fucking bookstore. The last bookstore. You gotta get this. There's so many hot chicks. So many hot chicks. It's insane. Yeah. They're like outside.

I'm convinced that he's full of them. He's not even there to look at books at all. I've been in there like twice. For post full time. No, I just went in there like twice and it's like for post full time no i i just went in there uh i think once i use the bathroom but they don't let people use the are there hot chicks at the library like what's going on i don't think i think the library probably left so i like the library because like it's just it's it's weird because everyone there oh the librarians are always really cool but uh i like the library just because it's you can just

get whatever the fuck they have. They have a bathroom. They have a bathroom. You can shower there. No, but it also smells like shit in there constantly. Like, the lower levels you get in the library. They're homeless shelters. They're for homeless guys to go on bangles. I'm going to be honest with you, though.

Like, there's a ton of public utilities in the library. If the library didn't exist, the city would be way worse. Really? Like, that's where they charge their phones. That's where, like, fucking people, like, hang out. Or they'd finally. Or they'd rot and they'd stop holding up traffic. If the LA Public Library didn't exist,

they would be trying to charge their phones everywhere other than the library. It's so sick. The library's so awesome. Every time I walk in, everyone there's like, what's up, brother? Welcome in, brother. It's fucking so sick, dude. Here's a warm chair right here for you. Well, you know, we got some stew. Yeah, John, you can use my charger. I'm almost No, but... Well, you know... Warm chair! We got some stew.

Yeah, John, you can use my charger. I'm almost done. Like, I don't... I know, dude. No, I do like... Because I just get... I've been reading lately, so I just... But this is the first time I've read anything in, like, probably six years.

And I just... This is, like, of a three-month thing. I need to bring something up that happened to us last week. It was a very funny thing. After we recorded last Friday, we all go out to a bar. We're having a lovely time. We're on the back patio.

We're laughing it up. We had two, we thought, I think we had two great episodes. The Lex Friedman stuff, a little polarizing to some people. There's a lot of, some psychos in the comments acting like,

I didn't know this show was hateful. It's Lex. She don't, she's bitter at this point. How about a warning about hate in this? Oh my God.

How could I have seen this coming? Every time Devin goes up, it's completely sincere. It's Lex fans, by the way. Yeah, sure. We ended up loving Lex after we saw his solo.

That was the bit. Yeah. I went on the vicious rampage, and then we go, he's actually great. The whole bit was like, hey, look how dumb we are. We're making fun of geniuses. Fucking shreds, dude. It was a good episode. And then he ends up shredding, and then we all took it back.

I don't hate him. It was just fun to... I love him. It just started. Some people were hypothesizing that I've been sitting around like stewing about Lex Friedman. You mentioned Lex Friedman. I was like, oh yeah, you know, I'm kind of onto him.

And then we just did it. It just happened. So anyway, we're out at this bar last week. Back patio. It's a silver lanky. It's Los Feliz. It's probably the grimiest you can get. It's not.

It's fake right. You rustic it, right? So we're on the back patio. It's probably the grimiest you can get. It's not. It's fake writing. Be rustic. Be rustic, yeah, right? So we're on the back patio. We're all laughing, having a great time. Yarmles is there, you know. Yarmles is like asking. Master woodworker.

Yarmles asking like why it's like dark at night. Coolest guy in the world. King, I love Yarmles. Yarmles is like, where's the sun go at night? I'm so confused. I love Yarmul's Yarmul's is like where's the sun go at night I'm so confused

Devin Yarmul's when we first met him saw calamari didn't know what it was and then chewed on a piece of it like a bubble gum

he chewed on it for about 20 minutes and then he asked if he should take it out or and I was like he's like

take it out like it was dipped you know Yarmul's is like he's an eccentric genius, but now, ever since then, Devin just thinks of him as like.

I make a joke every time I see him now. It's a very funny. Well, it was very funny because like, that was the first experience with him. He's like, is that tree real? And we're like,

yeah, what the fuck is wrong with this guy? He was like, stirring it up. And then last time we met him, he's like, yeah, we would just eat like frozen green beans

out of a can as a kid. And I was like, it's all starting to make sense, man. Actually, forgive me for the calamari thing. he's gummo. Yeah. So we're in the back patty

of the rest of Eurestic Inn. We're all laughing. I don't really remember what we were talking about. We're having a good time. You know, it's us, though. We're being loud. We're doing like our little,

it's like what you hear here. Well, John was holding up a picture. Hold on, hold on, hold on. I thought you were saying I don't remember what you were talking about. So, no, I remember. I brought it to attention. Yeah, but none of us remember the immediate aftermath. I don't remember what you're talking about. I remember. I brought it to attention.

None of us remember the immediate aftermath. There's a bunch of tables of people around us. At one point, the table across from us, we're all laughing. I see this woman look over at me. She's getting up to leave. By the way, real quick, can I interject the thing that happened before that all happened? A woman came up to me and she was like, oh my God,

you're the guy from the, you're so funny. And I was like, she thinks I'm somebody else. Right, right. So as our table, like she thought I was some other celebrity.

Okay. And as our table was going crazy, I kept looking at it and being like, can't wait to ruin the career of whoever she thinks I am. Yeah.

I used to be very, I'm just saying real bad things. Right now, there's a table of like seven women that were in Los Feliz last week, and they think Mackie Leeper's a video game. So another table gets up to leave about 20 minutes into us having a blast. And this woman keeps looking over at me, and I look at her. I'm like, my smile.

I didn't think we had done anything crazy. I don't remember anything crazy. Oh, but we did. And she's getting her stuff, and then these two kind of fake rock star guys with her. She leaves, and I'm like, dude, is she upset at what we're saying? We're not really doing anything. She's like, oh. Yeah, it's the east side huff.

The east side stare, you know? It's the east side huff. The east side stare. And then out of nowhere one of the guys that she's with walks behind Joey and hits his chair and pats him really hard. So what he does is he walks behind me

and he had plenty of room so he didn't need to do this but he grabs my chair and just moves it. Yeah, he moves your chair. Like he's scooting my chair like that. Totally purposeful and weird. And then I look, yeah go ahead. And then he comes over to John who's sitting directly next to me

and starts patting John incredibly hard and going, you're funny boys aren't you? Big comedians. Big comedians. Big funny guys. Big funny guys, huh? And I'm like what the fuck are you doing? And John we kind of thought maybe he was being sincere or something for a sense yeah we're like oh lovely we love it we're getting bigger by the

day and but then it got to the point where it was really like okay this guy's like he's touching he's touching and being weird and i i uh joey kind of gets up out of his chair. I say, what the fuck is this? And then John gets up and kind of trips on his chair and then full on pushes this guy against the wall and his back hits the side of this doorway. He tries to go for a leg takedown. I try to do a leg takedown. John did a half-ass leg takedown.

John did exactly what they train you to do, at least in wrestling, for a takedown. John put his head right in the guy's center of his chest. It was great. And then I simultaneously was standing up because I realized at the same time, like, this guy's not goofing. He's just, like, being very aggressive. So John's driving him into the wall.

And then I stand up, but I'm just kind of like, I got my hand on him too, just like, just in case, what if he is good at fighting and he takes, so then we go. It really kicked ass. It was really one of the coolest things I've ever seen. It was awesome, dude. And you felt all like gay and bad about it after. I hate violence. I'm like a big faggot.

You didn't even do it on purpose. You were defending yourself. You were self-defense. It was defending yourself. You did a good thing. And you weren't even like really aggressive. You actually kind of did it on accident. I half-assed it.

I was like, I'm just going to feign grabbing for his legs. Well, you tripped on your chair, and it pushed your head into his chest and moved him even quicker into the wall. So then he just runs out of the bar, and we're all like, what the fuck? Like a massive pussy. Like, he really sprints out of the bar. Like, he literally ran out of there. And then all the other tables around us are like, what was that?

And we're like, we don't know. Can you believe that? That was insane. We chased after him, though, which was cool as hell.'re like, we don't know. Can you believe that? That was insane. Yarmul chased after him, though, which is cool as hell. Yeah, Yarmul's chased after him. But all the tables around us were like, what happened? And we're endearing ourselves to all these people, right? We're like, I don't know.

We're like, I don't know. Can you believe that? This is crazy. We were just having a normal conversation, and this guy just got all aggressive with us. And then the waitress walks out, and she goes, why'd that guy run out? We were like, he attacked my friend. My friend had to get up

and defend himself. She goes, oh my god. Random act of hatred. We don't know. We go, did he even tip? And she goes, yeah, 25% actually. And we're like, oh well he was a fucking psycho scumbag and then we keep sitting discussing like, what could we have done? We're in the good graces of every

table around us too Everyone likes us here. But then the conversation kept going. And then I'm hearing John talk. And I look at Devin at one point. I'm like, the room's turning on us, buddy. Yeah. They're quickly realizing we are the fucking villain. They're starting to realize that we must have done something.

Because we are loud maniacs. So then we go inside to leave. You go to the bathroom. You come out. I go, what? Do you remember? What did we do? And Connor goes, John did show a picture of a swastika on his phone at one point to all of us.

And we all cackled. It was really a funny bit. He goes, have you guys seen this before? And I was dying. It was hilarious. Because it was a misdirection. John was asking how he can improve our sign. And I was like, you can do this. And I had a big picture of a misdirection. John was like, it was like, it was like, Yarmul's, Yarmul's was asking how he can improve our sign and I was like,

you can do this and I had a big picture of his sign. But John is sitting with his back to a wall and everybody in front of him is us and everyone else.

Yes, the entire bar. So the woman obviously looked over, saw John who looks the most Nazi looking man of all time.

who literally looks like, you know, he's a fucking background character in Green Room. It's fucking unbelievable. And, yeah, just holding his phone up. And we're all laughing really hard. Also, I think...

I'm crying laughing. I was laughing really hard. John was laughing. He's cracking himself up so hard. It was funny. Doing, like, a classic John, like, belly laugh. Uh-huh. And I think...

Also, were we talking about Israel versus Palestine? We were talking about Palestine a little bit. We talked a lot about COVID also. Oh, I did say like I was talking shit about like the Wuhan lab and stuff. But it must have been the... We were podcasting outside. That's what we were doing. And that's not okay sometimes.

You were talking about Hans Kim too. And I swear to God for a second, I was like, was he mad at that? Does Hans have shooters? What the fuck? How did Hans Kim get brought up? Probably a Wuhan conversation. They released Hans Kim, too. I think that's what you said.

I love Hans Kim. Which is a great fucking joke. He's a lab leak. Hans Kim's my bro. It was just an incredible realization to be like fuck that guy and then I leave the bathroom and I'm like wait that guy was actually a hero

it was really great how self righteous we were for 30 minutes after we're like finally we're not the problem and then we remember but also ultimately that guy I still a fucking lose Oh, yeah, you see a group of guys laughing. We're not Nazis that you rustic in retard

We're obviously laughing at some stupid joke or a misdirection our friend just did also And you're trying a badass if you wanna be a badass and come pick a fight Don't become an immediate pussy and run away was also the worst type of fighting. I hate passive aggressive. He didn't think we were going to do anything. No, but it was also not. It was that passive aggressive horse shit. It was that like, real great. You're great.

Like that type of thing. Come up and be like, hey, don't fucking do that in public. Or just like be a man. Like if you're actually angry at that. He leapt out of my arms and then sprinted away. And it was... Like a canary. actually angry at that. He leapt out of my arms and then sprinted away. And it was... Like a canary. Like a little bird.

He should have hit my face or some shit, at least. But I honestly... He was scared. It was kind of ballsy approaching, like, five degrees. Not in that place. Not in that place because he could tell the way we were talking, like, we're not going to beat the fuck out of him. So he knew for a fact all right i control them a

little bit and not get a violent beating because they're like funny but somebody's a comedian went out there and like said he had like a like he like he confronted him and was like why'd you do that well which is horrifying in a trailer park yeah like his parents abandoned him and shit like he used to eat frozen green beans out of a can. Like, he grew up in, like, an actual hard life. No, and so, Yarmul's didn't give a fuck.

He was just like, dude, no, he's like, are we tabbing each other? Yarmul's was out in front of the parking lot. We asked where he was for, like, ten minutes and then he came back

and we were like, where were you? He was like, I had a conversation with the guy. He was like, would you hunt him in the parking lot?

I just fucked him. He came back in camo. He's like, couldn't find him. He had a ghillie suit on. He's Benicio from The Haunted. He's just got his face painted up. So then we go to the drawing room across the street.

We're like, I know. We need to go to a cooler place where it's like heavy pours and it's a dive bar. And we're there. We're around people that we think are kind of like us, like psychos. And even there, 30 minutes in, we start looking around. People are moving. People are leaving. People are inching away from us.

We really are just a mass of problems. We've ruined more beats. You can't forget, though. We were itching for another fight. You and I had a bloodlust. Yeah. Let's get John to fight somebody else. Yeah, it was.

I was an expert. I did want to, like, treat you like a Mandingo fight. My favorite thing was Conor. Towards the end, Connor was like, yeah, I spent like seven years in New York and that just never happened to me. But I've been here for like three months.

This happened like five times. Oh yeah. You guys are the worst influence on me in my entire life. I keep getting into fights with random guys at the comedy store. Like I'm just like, yeah, just arguments. I'll tell you about the other night.

It doesn't really matter. But like I used to just for so many years, if someone said something dumb, I'd be like, whatever. Now I feel like the fuck is wrong with you. And I have to like, I used to just for so many years, if someone said something dumb, I'd be like, whatever. Now I feel like the fuck is wrong with you. And I have to like make a scene out of it for some reason. It's all your guys' fucking fault.

It's good though. It's becoming, it's, it's weird having these, it's weird having the podcast and even lemon party and stuff. Cause all I, you know, that night I spent with you in that green room two nights ago,

the next day I had to record lemon party. And I'm just like casually, like, I'm just like kind of bringing up people. Not their names or anything but I'm like I'm bringing up things I overheard. For sure. Yeah. But people just think they can get away

with stuff and it's like no. Right on. Right on. It's annoying as shit. You know we bring you in here for punch up and I love it, man. Just such an accurate breakdown of everything. I'm just tired of this shit. People have been making fun of this stuff, and I'm just tired of it.

He's like the Joker. Yeah, it was fun. Real fun night. I really wish we didn't I really wish we didn't remember you held up a swastika

because like I really wanted to have like we were in the right I wanted to be vindicated because I really hated him it really bothered me even so it was that classic thing

of like he thinks he's gonna fuck that woman tonight or something but she was gone who was he trying to impress it was already bailed. She left silently like anybody that sees a Nazi

rally happening, as you should. Yeah, run for the hills, bitch. Run for the hills! We're dangerous. Sorry! We're loud, we're proud, and We have bad ideas, dude. We're loud, we're proud, and we are fucking, we're gonna march! Tiki torches.

No, maybe we did cock block him. I thought it was his girlfriend or some shit. We've ruined so many dates. He was with another dude. He was with another guy, too. Yeah, he sucked. It was like some little fucking, you know. We're so loud, and John always yells faggot.

Yeah, you do. You do have to knock that off. You actually have become way crazier in person than I've ever seen before. That's not... Sorry. You were wild the whole night. That wasn't the most wild I've ever seen.

The first place we went to was RuPaul... It was a RuPaul viewing. And we get there and John goes, what is this fucking gay shit, dude? And I'm like, we're literally in Silver Lake. We're outnumbered also.

There's a show these guys are they're working out they're strong there's also drag queens that are like six foot ten there's like a guy that looks like fucking like you know nicola yokich with fake pits that's like could kill you it's like tank abbott with a wig and then no but yeah john so it's like a night there's a show it's like American Idol but it's RuPaul's

old drag ladies and then yeah John's yelling faggot in front of all of them so loud it was just brutal

but it's unfortunate because here's the thing we can't we don't have time to like get on a big soapbox and explain to people that we've taken back

the word and it doesn't mean that John means we can't make an announcement. When my friend says that word, he just means you're lame and annoying and in the way. He doesn't care that you

fucking had RuPaul's bingo though. You actually are angry that people fuck butts? You have a problem people fuck butts? You know what? There's no defense. No, remember. No, no. You don't. You remember fucking. You have a problem with fucking butts? Yeah.

No, there's a. You can't call Devin a faggot because he doesn't know how to use technology. It's not. Right. But we don't have time to give these. What were you saying? I remember that fucking bar we went to by your place. It was like that Christmas themed bar.

We walked in. Were you there? Go on fucking. And there was like a cross like that Christmas theme bar. We walked in. Were you there? Go on. Fucking, and there was like a cross-dressing like trivia going on. Oh, yeah, yeah. The second we walked in there, they're like,

out straight, white man, get the fuck out. And I was like, all right, and I just fucking left. Yeah. I'm just tired of this shit. I'm just fucking tired of this shit.

I'm just tired of this shit. I'm tired of fucking going into places and it's like, I like how you're like, no, I do hate gay people and it's for personal reasons. They annoy me. I love gay people. It's for personal reasons. They annoy me. I love gay people. They get on my nerves.

It is funny that that night you got upset at that. That was, yeah, that lame, that antiquated announcement. That's like such 2015. It was so gay. But like, it was funny because earlier that night you made me go to a gay bar with you. So you are gay. You're gay. You just don't.

You bring us to gay bars all the time. I figured it out. He is gay, but they better be an all-white bar. I just don't want it fucking shoved in my face if I'm going to 33 Taps. You literally took me to a bar where it was all shirtless men

with their cocks out. Yeah, that's a gay bar. That kicks ass. That's in your face, though. John's walking to an all-white gay bar. Everyone has eight packs and he's like, ah, the perfect soldiers. We have an army of them. Perfect soldiers.

He's like, how do I capture their DNA so I can clone them? Maybe if I get their load. I can... The universal soldier. I'm gonna call the fuck out of here. I could jump a load in his mouth. I'm going to call the fuck out of his eyes. There are jokes out there, man.

I'm going to fucking close his mouth. I'm coming out of his mouth. He's like, you're a full faggot. Like, why are you spitting that into a beaker? He's like, I'm making the universal. I think if I'm just surprised. I got one over the dumbass. An army of leather daddies just like marching on China.

Yeah. I think if it catches me off guard, it just pisses me off. But if I go in like ready for data. I'm obsessed with the idea of John spinning cum into a beaker being like, they have no idea what's coming. It's all part of my plan. Oh, man. Yeah, but that was interesting. It's all part of my plan Oh man Yeah But that was

That was interesting We all woke up the next day Like did that happen Yeah That was a very fun night Yeah Like all that aside That was

Oh it was wonderful One of my most fun nights In a long time Yeah And then we walked out We saw Brandon Wardell And then he was with a guy And we all were just like

Being like drunk Like crazy Like idiots John and Joey Are like wrestling And he said he was with a guy and we all were just like being like drunk like crazy like idiots John and Joey are like wrestling and he said he was like a producer and we were just like

right like what like you know like we just completely wrote it off as nothing we get in the he tells us like what song it was and we put it on in the car

we realize it's like it's like a top it's like a top five song in the country right now yeah and we just big time and we're like we gotta go now

we're like yeah we gotta go you're boring. That phone's your beep boop beep boops, dumbass. Yeah, listen, pal, we get about 9,000 views on YouTube a week. We just got a race war

going on in here and we're leaving now. The way that I met him was John, he kept insisting, like, let's keep wrestling. We'd wrestle. On the street, hammered.

Just like out, like a bartender would come out and go like, hey, is that a fucking real fight? Are you guys just goofing? And we're like, yeah street hammered just like out on like a bartender would come out and go like hey is that a fucking real fight you guys just goofing them and we're like yeah we're just kidding like it's not serious and then john just like wouldn't stop wanting to wrestle so i finally came back into like the circle where you guys were and i was like hey brennan nice to meet you like producer guy and then and then john came over he's like joey what do you like come on dude let's fucking keep wrestling, man. And now it's like we're interrupting the circle.

I'm going like, no, John, I walked over here to get away from you. And you're like, no, come here, dude. Come here, I'm going to grab you. Let me get my hands on you. Give me underhooks, dude. Yeah. And then Joey neck cranked the shit out of me,

and then I was like, okay, I got to stop. But it was... Yeah, then we just had to fucking leave. It was fun though. If you're a fan of the show, you're probably also a fan of not having a sweaty dick. Right, John? Absolutely. That's the opposite, I think,

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Thank you, Sheath. Promo code HATEWATCH. Thank you, Sheath. Well, We got any good stuff? This is a pretty funny video. It's a hotel employee that kind of loses his mind

to a complaining guest. I've never really seen anything like this. Never seen, I think I might have seen this. That looks like the kid who shot the dude in Wisconsin. Rittenhouse? Yeah, it looks like Rittenhouse.

It does. No, not really. He had the same kind of hair. He looks much more twinkish. Metrosexual Rittenhouse. No, if Rittenhouse combed his hair better, but yeah. All right, well, this video was very amusing to me. ...computer because you all made a mistake?

Not really, no. So you want to get mad and hit the computer This video is very amusing to me. man and hit the computer i'm sure you're on camera right yeah i'm sure you're on camera yes oh my god yes dude what are you doing pal full liar liar dude you can't do that i'm so i'm so close to that so often. Dude, if employees did that everywhere instead of just be like, what do you want? I would love, I would be like, yeah, the customer service stinks. That guy kicks his own ass.

Like if you complain, they kick their own ass. I'd fully be like, my fault, bro. I'm going to go to Red Roof Inn down the street. You do your own thing. I would literally go back to the next and be like, do not fire this man.

He seems to care. He loves this shit, street. You do your own thing. I would literally go back to the next and be like, do not fire this man. He seems to care. He loves this shit, dude. He will die for you. He tried to kill himself. Just completely misinterpreted. He fucked up so bad. He fucked up so bad that he tried to kill himself

on the job. Employees a month. That's so crazy. Also, it's just so funny to do it. That's what black people think white people do when they get it. I know

Like black people go around things like a little white boy Just start punching himself in the face and shit all the comments must be like a white motherfucker like him That's all that guilt. They'd be like shut down the school He just goes behind the wall. He's like So hard, his arms are shaking. Oh, God. So this is the type of people they have working here. Oh, you're going to get no sympathy from this guy. Is that spots?

Oh, it's so embarrassing, dude. You ruined my whole life, man. He goes, you ruined my whole life. Oh, God, that poor guy. Oh, no. That's so embarrassing. Oh, no. You ruined my whole life.

That's fucking awful. Oh, dude. What is this, like a Holiday Inn? If I found out every Holiday Inn had Jim Carrey Jim Carrey characters, like, behind the counter, I'd only ever stay at them. That's so beautiful. You ruined my whole fucking life, man. You ruined my whole fucking life.

Wow. Wow. Wow. You gotta be kidding me. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, dude. No fucking way. He's like, I'm gonna get some sun chips.

You ain't going nowhere. Wow. You white bitch. You cracker bitch. This is quickly becoming like a zoo experience for him. Let's watch one more time. This guy's right behind glass and he's filming it like a fucking animal. He's at the zoo right now.

So why did you get mad and hit the computer? Why did you get mad and hit the computer? I'm shooting you on camera, right? I'm shooting you on camera, right? Yeah, I am. I'm shooting you on camera. Oh, no. Oh, dude. He's hitting himself in the head so hard with his own hand. Oh, yeah.

Holy shit. Hell yeah. Jesus Christ. He really goes to town on himself. I love how the black guy just goes, wow. Wow. Wow, bud. God.

He goes, I haven't been able to tell a lie in 24 hours. He's like, why'd you hit the computer then? He goes, because this pen is red. What are you doing? Kicking my own ass.

Oh, God bless crazy people. God bless the crazy people. I want to... Are there any, like, follow-ups on that kid? Did he respond or anything? I don't know. I don't know. I didn't look into it that much,

but, like, we can look at the comments. What do some of the comments say on Twitter? I'd love to know. Okay, it goes, video of Holiday Inn worker having breakdown backfires on the poster. Oh, wait. An outpouring of online support. They love the guy.

Oh, come on. Yeah, I mean, I pity him. That sucks. I don't. An outpouring of online support began Monday as a video emerged on social media showing a Holiday Inn Express employee having a mental breakdown as he was harassed by an irate guest recording. That right.

It was the guy that irate. A Holiday Inn employee later identified as Caleb appeared to hit himself repeatedly in the head before bashing the computer in front of the worker for stealing his money, changing his reservation. The unnamed Holiday Inn worker in the now viral video has become the center of a racial debate after it was framed as white versus black issue by self-proclaimed race baiter Tariq Nasheed. Well, okay, of course he got on it. The employee framed the situation in a different light, posting on Reddit that he suffers from mental illness, prompting GoFundMe support,

as well as hundreds of posts offering solidarity. Well, I mean, yeah, obviously. It's obvious mental issues, sure. It didn't look like a vitamin deficiency to me. Listen to more Andrew Huberman. Yeah, he didn't take his cold plunge that day. A GoFundMe page started for the Hollywood employee raised more than $35,000 in under 24 hours. Unbelievable.

We got to get in this GoFundMe game, buddy. Somebody here has to have a freak out or something. John has whenever he's got a week. Yeah. Yeah. While I've now quit this position, my management supported me and told me I'm welcome back. The guest was ejected from the hotel

for escalating issues with staff and the owners. I do have mental disorders. The holiday an employee wrote on Reddit Monday. Well, he's on Reddit, too, explaining himself. He has BPD and schizoactive tendencies. Unfortunately, they took my AR-15 away, and so I'm talking to the courts about getting it back it's also just like that's insane

that the holiday wouldn't even welcome his job back that guy I mean I don't care if he was being bullied you can't hire that guy because he used the magic word which is mental just put him in the linen closet or something or go you can't work front desk

customer service insurance should pay for like some sort of mental um you know counseling or whatever but then yeah you can't have him back after that mental health mental health is the magic word oh for sure you just say that you could get free rehab or like free like counseling or something but you could still not be a lot back at the front fucking desk it's a holiday and express you know they can do better than that guy it's an express anybody can do better than that that guy it's a fucking holiday that's the worst guy in town being a clerk at a fucking holiday inn you don't know imagine like where like where is this holiday in it yeah it's like north platte nebraska or

something yeah it's like that's the most handsome guy in town, I bet. I'll give me a grotesque man that doesn't start beating himself and headbutting the computer. I don't care. I need a handsome guy at my clerk. Like I said, if that happened, if everywhere I went and I was like, oh, excuse me, I'm sorry, you didn't. Even if I wasn't harassing them, being angry. If I was like, sorry, I ordered, I got it with half and half. Can I get some half and half in it?

And the guy just started beating himself. I'd be like, ha ha, yes, I love you. You care. You care so much about me. I love it when like fucking guys at drive-thrus

call me boss and shit. I'll go to Chick-fil-A. Well, that's, of course, nice. I'll go to Chick-fil-A just to feel like a king. You're right,

and that's the same thing as this. It's the same exact thing. No, we should normal, nice. I go to Chick-fil-A just to feel like a king. You're right, and that's the same thing as this. It's the same exact thing. No, we should normalize this. I want more skeezos working front desk. John's already dating this guy. Yeah. I'm already dating this guy. John was with him earlier today at a hotel in Long Beach, actually.

Tell me. Have you guys seen this? The NYPD in the Bronx. You know when cops try and be, like, cool with, like, the people that they stop and frisk or constantly harassing or whatever? They're such losers. Not all, but some. They're really bad at being, like, trying to, like, talk shit back.

This is video. Look at this. This is my number one fan right here. Me and you are going to have a date later. Yeah, all right. Gay. I'm going to have a date with your bitch, nigga. Stupid.

Stupid. You and I, we're going to have a date later. I'm going to suck your dick later. It's like such a weird, you know, you just know you stink at talking to people when you think that's an insult. I don't, yeah. It sucks, dude. It's strange. I don't even know what stink at talking to people when you think that's an insult. Yeah, it's strange. I don't even know what he meant. Oh, really? Am I gay?

Is that a vague threat? Well, how come I'm going to take you on a date later? I just had a flashback memory of when I was in ninth grade. I was sitting in class with my friend. And this typical bully, he was a cool skater kid that was older than us. He walks in and he trips on my friend's leg. And like the teacher's like, what are you making such a big fuss for? What are you doing?

And the guy goes, yo, that faggot in the hat tripped me. And everyone's looking at my buddy who's wearing a beanie. And he spazzed and just went, oh, I'm a faggot in a hat. Ooh, yeah. And we're like, that's the worst thing you could have ever said. Yeah, you are a faggot. Just so nervous Yeah. And we're like, that's the worst thing you could have ever said. Yeah, you are a faggot. Just so nervous. Oh, yeah, that's me.

I'm a faggot in a hat. He tried the. It was brutal, dude. One of the worst things I've ever seen. And then nothing else. Everyone just got quiet. No, everyone just laughed at him. And I was like, oh, buddy, what are you doing?

Even if you spasm was like, no, I didn't. That's better than. It's better, yeah. Like, hey, you're a fucking clumsy. You're the clumsy faggot. You tripped, clumsy faggot. That would have been poetic. Carter, you know what's interesting about that guy is he's now working at the Holiday Express down the street.

Oh, man. This was interesting. This is a point of view. You find out your date might be racist, so you dip, and he follows you home. Hell yeah, dude. That's me, dude. This was John's last week. Hell yeah.

For a second. Do not get aggressive with me at all. I'm not aggressive, but I'm asking you to be honest with me, and you weren't. You said you were what? I'm so... I'm asking you to be honest with me, and you weren't. You said you were what? I'm so... I'm asking you to be honest with me, and you weren't. Do you hate N-words? It's an easy opening question on any day.

And I am... I would have never heard from you. I've been down this road. Okay, but you don't know me. You don't know me. Why would you follow me home? I feel so unsafe right now.

The fact that you followed me home. They're both on opiates. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is weird. This is such slurred, weird drug talk. The snow on the window is just like... Or they got drunk. I mean, they just they're hammered and she left and he's drunk. Yeah, they're at least drunk.

I mean, that could be drinking. That could at least be. Yeah, but still... Let's throw opioids in the mix. Yeah, yeah, no. I agree with Connor. I agree with Connor. Sure, sure.

When I... I didn't hear it that way. I said, I am the furthest from race person, but I'm not. No. Oh, he's wasted, yeah. Furthest from race, person, race. You're not, because the furthest person from racist would never use that word. I should have talked like this guy who attacked me.

I'm calling my black friends right now. Hold on, let me get... I never mean to... He goes, let me call my black friends. He goes, Herschel? Herschel Walker. He goes, hold on, I have another black friend. Clarence?

Jesse? Jesse Lee Peterson? I have a lot of black friends. OJ Simpson. I don't want, no, no. I am not. Yes, because I drove an hour. What?

So get me some pussy, please. It's cold out. I drove an hour. You left me at the fucking bar, you bitch. Oh, damn. Yes, this guy's crazy. I put $300 on you. That's a crazy amount of money.

She should have fucked him. In Dayton, Ohio. That's nuts. She tries to fuck him. In Dayton, Ohio. That's nuts. She tries to fuck him as a Klan hood on his dick. Yeah, I mean, listen, he's a psycho, but unfortunately this is like, he's also, I guess, a racist. I mean, I guess he just thinks it's like, okay, to just casually. I don't know.

Imagine you use the N word on a date, right? That gets you saying, nobody says that word. But why did he say, let me call my black friends? Well you saying, nobody says that word. But why did he say, let me call my black friends? Well, she said, nobody says that word unless they're racist. Right. Like, what other word?

What other word would it be? But his rage at the end here goes to show, he's really, he's just, he's sick of the Tinder game. He's sick of him. And he's sick of every time he meets up with one of these floozies, he spends 300 bucks,

and he talks about the Civil War and how it wasn't really about slavery. And then he gets upset. And we've all been there. After a few of those stack up. And he probably doesn't make that much money. Nobody like that makes that much money. 300 bucks every weekend. But you hear that. Okay, say there wasn't any race angle in this video, right? Nobody like that makes that much money. 300 bucks every weekend.

But you hear that, okay, say there wasn't any race angle in this video, right? The rage when she just, like, his rage at just being like, I fucking traveled an hour and a half and I bet 300 bucks. He's like, I just got off work at the Holiday Express. And you treat me like this? That's a whole week's worth of pay. It really is like, you know, it's just this classic frustrated man archetype. He's horny and he's like he hasn't been sucked.

Horny, racist, and full of cum. That's John's Tinder bio. He's like, I'm not racist. One of them was just really mean to me at work a few hours ago. I'm talking about one fucking guy. He goes, I'm not racist. One of them was just really mean to me at work a few hours ago. I'm talking about one fucking guy. He goes, I can't vent.

Steve, for what type of respect did I get when you left me at the fucking bar, you bitch? Jesus. That guy should be watched by the police. Yeah. That's a future killer, possibly. Is he going to hit the window? So she drove him? He's just yelling cut.

No, he followed her home to her car. Where are they? Okay, yeah. He followed her home to her car. Whoa. Well, you know. Whoa. That guy has to take a damn chill pill, huh?

All right, Joey, I got a good one for you. I didn't watch the video, but it looks funny. Body cam? First Amendment auditor tries to enter elementary school. Oh, I love that. You can't do that. No, dude. You can't do that.

I love auditors. Oh, that's a security guard? Show your ID to the camera. You cannot get into this building unless you show your ID. We need your ID. Show me the state statute where it says that. That's a security guard? Show your ID to the camera. You cannot get into this building unless you show your ID. We need your ID. Show me the state statute where it says that. You're not getting into this building until we see your ID. Right now, you're a threat.

I don't know who you are. This woman belongs on the fucking Berlin Wall. Yeah, I guess so. Wow. My job is to protect these kids, and that's what I'm doing. I don't know who you are. You're protecting them from a camera? Are you getting horny?

Nah, she kicks ass. You don't need to know. It's none of your business. All right. So what's in there with those kids? None of your business? Are you getting horny? Nah, she kicks ass. You don't need to know. It's none of your business. All right. So what's in there with those kids? None of your business. Does she have a gun? Fuck yeah.

Fuck yeah, woman. Yeah, she's a school police officer. Does this retard... Oh, she's a police officer. Okay, I thought you were like a guard. Does he not understand? He goes, it's none of your business. They're kids inside.

Yeah, it's crazy. What do you mean? It's a school district. It's none of my business. He's like, actually, this is my business. I make money off of these videos. He goes, I make child porn highlight tapes. Like skateboarders do.

It's my First Amendment right to film the kiddies. Oh, God. I'm good. I'm good right here. I'm good. I'm good right here. He goes, I'll catch him at lunch. I'm good.

He goes, I'm good. I'll get him during recess. He goes, no, I'm good right here. He goes, I'll catch him at lunch. I'm good. He goes, I'm good. I'll get him during recess. He goes, they'll be at the playground. He goes, it's my First Amendment right to film kids on the swing set. It's a government building. 1A. 1A. 1A, 2A.

Jared from Subways is like, 1A, 2A Jared from Subways is like 1A There's shit right here Yeah, I'm good right here I'm not blocking any doors Like I told you, I don't know you from that telephone pole And you're at an elementary school right now Yeah, that's really good

And we are going to have a conversation over here about what it is we're going to do so we can remedy the problem. I'm in contact with the principal. Are you forcing me to move? Is that a lawful order? Did you hear me ask you to come over? Joey, he doesn't have any right to be on school grounds, right?

They can just arrest him. They can't do this at the post office, but they can do this at a fucking elementary school. There's no way. Yeah, so a post office is public property. This couldn at a fucking elementary school if a guy's trying to go with a camera camera. There's no way, like, yeah, so a post office is public property. This couldn't be protected by... Federal.

No, there's no way. I don't know. No, but the school is state funded, but I don't think it's public property like that. No, I don't think so. There's no way.

There's no way. He probably seems like he has his hands tied, though, in the way he's interacting with the people. I think he doesn't know. Yeah, the cops are acting like... I think the cop doesn't know.

He probably is scared to get sued, so he's like, I'm going to say what I can to not arrest him. Yeah. And then hopefully we can do it without arresting, so I don't have to risk a lawsuit. But I think if he were more up on the law, he'd be like, no, I can arrest you. Like, oh, fuck it. I should tase you. I also feel like these cops probably watch these videos.

Yeah. This guy, especially, he's like, ah, I'm out of my wits here, dude. No, they know about this. Yeah. No, like, most of the audit videos we watch like the cops like show up and they go I'm right we've got another one of these guys so now they're like is he a lot of school well the cops who watch it usually know better they're like all right now yeah do whatever you want but if you cross

the line like we're gonna arrest you this guy seems like he's heard foggily of oh they have some rights but not knowing that oh at an elementary school it doesn't apply like it doesn't transfer okay thank you i'm politely denying your request thank you so we'll sit right here until it gets resolved okay well they've already denied it so so that's one thing. You've denied the access. God, he sounds like the pedophile from Family Guy. I'm not filming kids. I'm not talking to kids. I'm not talking to kids.

You're being kind of aggressive. Aggressive? You're the one that won't let me go in there and do my constitutional protected activity. You're not going in there. Why don't you say hi to your sister, Beyonce? It's a state statute that says that I have to show ID. Do you have children that attend here? That's none of your business.

It is my business. Is it? Why is that your business? What's your name? If I was to ever make videos on what not to do as an auditor or what not to do if you're trying to do this type of job, it's to not show up to school because this is 100% weird. And this is dumb to and i do this is this is this is just dumb to me like this this makes no sense at all to go to a school that's great and try to do all that that's great inside they go obviously gonna kick you off like especially if you're

creepy the way this dude sounded like oh y'all tell me what y'all think man but let's continue there are also state laws that override i remember this from an amaganza video there also state laws that override. I remember this from an Amigenza video. There are state laws that override federal laws, like the Constitution, essentially, where it's like, hey, no, because of school shootings and things like we've created laws that give extra protection. So we'll arrest you, and you could go to the Supreme Court and appeal, but we can't arrest you. So I think these are just bad cops. This, I don't know what state this is, but this is a... Yeah, that guy's just a fucking asshole too, if you're doing that. It's like, of all places, like, I mean, not to just reiterate what the guy just said, but it's just like, that's not even fun.

You're not even fucking with adults. Now the school is freaked the fuck out. Yeah, especially in this day and age where there's shooters. You want to, the whole point of these videos is to annoy a postal worker or a cop who's an asshole.

And I, the school's in lockdown right now. Everyone's freaking out. Yeah, yeah. Not the most vulnerable members of our society. The siren goes,

boo, boo, get under your desks. There's an auditor here. Emma Gansett Press has shown up with his seven foot Native American child. Run! Everyone run!

It's like duck and cover, but with auditors. Emma Gansett's son just ripped the sink out of the bathroom. By the way, this guy is like everybody that either hates Lemon Party. This guy. Or Haywatch. I have a million friends like him. Every evil comment we get from a guy like this. 70% of my friends in South Dakota look like that.

He's the guy. This guy, when he gets off his shift, he goes and fishes and he puts zins in the fish's mouth. Releases them. He's like, you deserve one. He goes, he pats him and goes, you've been a good boy. He goes, you deserve a cinnamon roll. Toss him back in. He goes, let's give him an upper deckie. It's none of your business.

It is my business. Is it? Why is that your business? Because what business do you have? What's your name? Sergeant David Brown. Badge number?

Four. I don't have a badge number, but I need a number four. Thank you. So let me ask you this. So you want to be confrontational, what is your business?

Who's being confrontational? I'm talking to them. Talk to them. I'm not talking to them. I'm talking to you, sir. I'm not talking to you. I'm talking to them. I have no obligation to talk to you or talking to them. I'm talking to you, sir. I'm not talking to you. I'm talking to them. I have no obligation to talk to you or help you with your investigation.

Probably severe brain damage. Yeah, it's... So, our number one priority is these children... That was the guy with brain damage. Yeah. And I hope he got tased. Me too. Yeah.

What are the comments? They hired the right security. It's crazy in our country right now. Someone's got to do something. At least she's trying. That was security. Those two guys were cops. I think she was security.

She handled it great. Exactly. Bro thought he was going to get into a school without presenting an ID. Any sane person watching this would think that way. But it does give you the taste for audits.

You know? I'm starting to think they should have let him in! Well, I mean, I'll go... I'll die on the auditor hill. You know that, I know that. Right. Is there a way to defend that, Joseph? Not that, no. So I think way to defend that, Joseph? Not that. No.

So I think he's making real auditors look bad. Yeah, I agree. Guys like Amagenta. Guys like Long Island Audit. San Luis Obispo Observer. The Observer. Slow Observer. Slow Observer.

Slow County Observer. Slow County. Long Island Audit does amazing work. Long Island Audit sues every single business in Long Island. Every time he threatens to sue, he sues. He's the most litigious man on the planet. And yeah, so I bet you a guy like Slow or Long Island, they watch that and they go like,

you fucking idiot, you're making us look bad. Mm-hmm. Hell yeah. Mm-hmm. Well, I mean, we can keep going. We've done some good work. I mean, I kind of want to... I got to piss. We got to do an ad too. Oh, really?

Let's save that for the Patreon. Yeah, I love this guy. So we... I don't think we're going to be able to have an episode come out on the 11th. That is when Connor and I will be out of town. We will return the next day.

Let me and John down here. We'll do an update. You guys won't be able to put it out or anything. I can learn in five minutes. I'm not a fucking otter. It's not going to be feasible. I have the password already. I'll put out a...

He's afraid of our power. I'll put out a Patreon episode. It's going to be too masculine. We'll make it up. Oh my God, the T-levels in this episode are going to be way too high. We're going to make it up for the people. I think all the cucks will unsubscribe if you guys... You also can't sign into my Google.

Yeah, I do. I have it. I have the password. We'll be fine. You're not going to be able to edit it. Joe is a tech whiz. You're not going to do it. I'll learn it in five minutes.

You're an otter. From the internet. I already know what I've been asking. He started chess like two months ago. He's like a master. If you guys really want to do that, go ahead and try to figure it out. I'm still bad at chess. No, no, no. Yeah, I don't want to actually, but I just wanted to threaten. I'll just tell you.

It would be funny kind of to try. He's like, actually a week off sounds phenomenal, but I just, I'm petty. I'll just tell Ida to do it for us. I'll have Ida just run the program

for us. I'm just announcing this so the people don't freak out. Like, there won't be, we'll try and get in the studio as soon as we,

Connor and I get back. You're on tour for potting. You're doing shows for the people. I'm just talking to the Hatewatch fans. No, yeah, no, I'm saying,

but you're not just like taking, you're not on vacation. No, no, no, I'm saying, but you're not just like taking, you're not on vacation. No, no, yeah. And we won't not let a Patreon episode go by where, you know, they don't get their monthly fill

or whatever. We'll make it up, but just don't be surprised if there's not an episode on the Wednesday after the 11th or whatever. Okay, folks. We love you.

Love you. Please buy tickets to my show. February 17th. Yeah. Link is in my bio. We're all gonna be there. We'll love you. Love you. Please buy tickets to my show. February 17th. Yeah. It's in my bio. We're all going to be there. Like always. We'll be there.

Hell yeah. God bless. Bye-bye. Bye-bye.