Hate Watch with Devan Costa - Rabid Republican Milfs
Episode Date: May 20, 2024Sly Stallone in Copland, dogs, rabies, Kristi Noem shooting her puppy in the face, republican bimbo senators vs aoc https://www.patreon.com/HateWatchPodcast ...
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It's good to be in something from the ground floor. I came too late for that. I know
But lately I'm getting the feeling that I came in at the end
The best is over
many Americans I think feel that way
Okay, so I got it. Let me uh, let's read some text that John sent earlier today
Because you had a big day on your motorcycle. I fucking
Though that's two days. I've been riding it like yeah fucking
an hour and a half. It's like fucking wild hogs. It's amazing. You're just, you're everyone's hero and we all think you're so cool and it's all working.
Devon loves this. Everyone on the streets when you drive by, when you ride by they go that guy is so fucking cool.
That's terrifying. They go, there goes my hero. So Joey, John goes, just got back to DTLA
because where'd you go today?
You had a big day.
I was on Chatsworth, I had to drive way the fuck out.
So how long does it take to walk your motorcycle
to Chatsworth?
I envision you walking it like a guy
who throws all his knapsacks on a mule in Mexico and he walks his mule
up a mountain.
I want to say two hours.
It took you two hours to go to Chatsworth.
You took surface streets to Chatsworth.
I took a bank account all the way down.
What's like the normal 35?
35.
Oh my God.
John's like disassembling his bike and putting it
into a bindle and like putting it on his back.
He's in check in. He's hitchhiking.
He's hitchhiking with the motor cycle.
I think I've said this before,
but it's like when you, if you ever like went like snowboarding
or skiing and you accidentally got off on like a triple
diamond and you're like, what the fuck?
And you have to walk down the mountain.
Yeah.
You bought a triple.
And then it's John leaving his house every day.
It's like, I'm getting, I'm lane splitting now.
It feels better only at red lights though,
not like in motion.
Why are you lane splitting?
You're gonna die. Cause it's actually,'s cuz it's actually because if you open my door
I just fucking badass, dude
No
Because okay if I'm behind
He kicks fucking ass if I am behind if I parked behind a car actually that my outline gets broken up by the car
So it's actually more it is
It's I'm more likely to get rear-ended than if I just jump in front of all the cars had a red light sure
Yeah, is it cuz you're afraid to waddle behind traffic
on your bike?
Yeah.
Is it because you look really gay waddling on your bike?
I look cool as fuck on that thing no matter what.
This 600.
When are you afraid to get rear ended, fellow?
Very good, very good, Connor.
Very good.
You're ready to get more and more.
And now that you had a trip that would have been certain.
Well, I'm realizing also like my bike was owned
by like a filthy cholo who like ruined it. I'm realizing also like my bike was owned by like
A filthy cholo who like ruined it and I need to like take it in somewhere and like so it's a fix
It's a piece of junk
Shit already broke awesome. You already have to take it into the shop. He already like fuck the clutch up
I didn't fuck the clutch with the cholo and you for me fuck the clutch. I told me it was not my fault
How do you know it was a cholo? You just assuming it's a Cholo? The only guy who owns my motorcycle is a Cholo.
You and Cholo's dude.
I don't think that's true.
Exactly dude.
You bought a jalopy.
Or like a...
Your motorcycle has like the, on the mirrors,
the back of it, it kind of has like the Vermec-ed.
It's either a Cholo or like an Aryan Brotherhood guy.
Oh wow, what a spectrum.
Honestly, kind of the same guy.
Yeah.
It's, you know, both sides of the coin and shot color.
Okay, so it took you two hours to ride your bike to Chatsworth.
Yeah, I'm all sweaty.
You took all surface streets.
You're sweating from riding a motorcycle.
I'm in the sun, dude.
What do you mean the fattest thing? I'm in the sun.
What do you mean the fattest thing?
I'm in the fucking sun in a hoodie.
So John.
You're in the wind, brother.
John texts this as he gets back,
because we all had to record today.
He goes, Joe, you want to share an Uber or some shit?
I've had my Phil riding my iron shit box.
He goes, just drove back from Chatsworth.
I'm all sweaty. And then I start laughing. He goes, don't get me wrongatsworth, I'm all sweaty.
And then I start laughing, he goes,
don't get me wrong, Devin, it's incredibly fun.
Imagine if you have a car, you're like,
I'm so sick of driving this car, I'm gonna order an Uber.
You're ordering other pieces of transportation
to live your life, it's not a good thing.
When I move, I'm like journeying, you know what I mean?
You just sit in a box and you fucking go.
I'm having a, I'm like, I'm like fucking,
I'm like in Lord of the Rings, dude.
I'm like traversing, you know what I mean?
Huh, I don't get what you're talking about.
That makes no sense.
I'm sweaty.
Did you drink earlier?
Oh, fuck yeah.
Did you drink earlier today?
Oh yeah.
Why?
Because I was bored.
Where were you at?
My bar.
You went to your bar to drink.
Yeah, I got two beers, a shot of whiskey, and some nachos.
You really. And I fucking got in it. a shot of whiskey, and some nachos.
You really.
And I fucking got in it.
I can't wait for the fucking Bronx tail scene
where you get the shit kicked out of you
by a bunch of mobsters.
You'll get your, wait, mobsters?
You ever see a Bronx tail?
There's a whole scene where these bikers come
to the hells end, yeah.
Oh. God.
No, it'll be fine.
And then John goes, but it's a horse, baby.
My iron stallion. And then he goes, but then he admits, he goes, it's be fine. And then John goes but it's a horse, baby My iron stallion and then he goes but then he admits he goes it's so hard being this guy
It's fun though, but I got off of it and I was like, okay, that's it for probably two days Sunday night
I was going down Glen Oaks and was so tired
I kept trying to take off and fourth gear like a retard and the thing wouldn't go and I started talking to it like it
Was a person I was like, please don't break down I love you why
would you do this and then I downshift and it was fine yeah I literally kept
trying to take off from a stop in fourth gear and it just wouldn't go and I
thought it broke down again and I was like okay I'm just getting rid of this
thing and then I realized I was wrong you should try to sell it if you crash
it it's gonna be worth so much less right no I No, I can probably just get replaced by a motorcycle.
You know what's really cool?
You could replace it with a really good insurance.
You know what are really cool and what are fast?
Get a Honda Civic and put one of those wings on the back,
like all the retards that they should fly.
Yeah, I should get a suction cup, Dildo,
and put it up on a mirror and fuck it too.
How about that?
It's pretty good.
What are those like three-wheeled cars you see in Miami?
Polaris, slingshots.
John, let's get you a slingshot.
Polaris slingshot.
Let's get you a slingshot,
have a bunch of LED lights on the side,
it syncs up to the music you're playing.
You're only playing house music, just, yeah.
I think that's the evolution of John.
No, that's all the disadvantages of a motorcycle
and then the advantages of a car. That's the thing.
Like if you flip that thing, you're dead.
Same thing as a motorcycle.
Okay.
So you want a car.
You just basically, you miss a car.
Yeah, get a car.
Why am I fucking buying a car?
Dude, it's fun as shit.
It's so fucking fun.
Get a car.
You're fast.
Get a Honda Civic.
It's like the Nike Cortez of cars.
Get yourself a nice.
Oh, you're trying to appeal to my cholo?
Yeah, you're picking his interests.
Yeah, you're trying to pick your interests.
Come on, you can throw some dickies on the wheels.
Uh-huh.
Hey.
It's like the Loke sunglasses.
Yeah.
Of course, man.
You can put some high socks on the rear view mirrors.
I heard Lil Rob loves Honda Civic's.
Summer nights.
Mm-hmm.
I'm just gonna stick with the bike for a while
and see how that goes.
How long do you think honestly?
It's really-
Two years.
I doubt it.
Wow. Two years.
Two years of inconveniencing yourself
and everyone around you. You're not gonna make it two years. I'll make it two years. How much it. Wow. Two years. Two years of inconveniencing yourself and everyone around you.
You're not gonna make it to years.
I'll make it to years.
How much you wanna bet?
I would, well I don't wanna bet
cause then you're gonna be motivated to keep it.
Cause I'll make it to years.
Yeah.
I'm motivated now just saying I'm not gonna make it to years.
When do you think you'll like make the plunge
into like doing like the long mountain rides?
Like Angeles National Forest.
I don't, I told myself I will never do the Crest Highway
or like Mulholland just cause it's stupid to me.
I don't find like a lot of enjoyment around going like,
but this is me talking now.
Oh, it's fucking gorgeous though, dude.
It is beautiful, but it's also dangerous.
And yeah, you gotta have a crew.
There are prettier, safer rides.
You have to establish a crew.
I'm establishing it right now.
Hit me up on Instagram, you can join the HitWatch
motorcycle gang, but the-
Jesus Christ.
We got like three dudes in LA kicks ass
The most autistic man of all time
Hey watch motorcycle gang rascal scooters don't count
Fucking Ben little young Ben and New Zealand's in it
Yeah, they all they all got kicked out of the thick boy nation and now they're crawling to John. No, it's a fun group chat
But you are
Loneliest man alive aren't we enough you have friends aren't we enough for you guys aren't we don't we don't hype up your horrible decisions
And obviously not no don't care if you live or die that group's very like they have no they don't care
These people don't care if you live or die. That group's very like.
They don't care whatsoever if you die.
You don't get it.
You're like a TV show to them
and you're giving them the power to the narrative.
They're like, they're not writing.
I think that's an ugly way of looking at it.
They're writing who you are.
They're writing your story.
I think you're being, I think you're jealous.
They love it.
They're like, hey, have another beer, John.
And get on the motorcycle.
They're laughing it up.
They're laughing it up.
You're like a real, you're like a real Viking.
You guys are like evil, dude.
You guys are trying to separate me from my real friend.
They view you as a buffoon and a clown. Yeah. You're a little puppet and you're like a real, you're like a real, you're like a real, you're like a real, you're like a real, you're like a real, you're like a real, you're like a real, you're like a real, you're like a real, you're like a real, you're like a real, you're like a real, you're like a real, you're like a real, you're like a real, you're like a real, you're like a real, you're like a real, you're like a real, you're like a real, you're like a real, you're like a real, you're like a real, you're like a real, you're like a real, you're like a real, you're like a real, you're like a real, you're like a real, you're like a real, you're like a real, you're like a real, you're like a real, you're like a real, you're like a real, you're like a real, you're like a real, you're like a real, you're like a real, you're like a real, you're like a real, you're like a real, you're like a real, you're like a real, you're like a real, you're like a real, you're like a real, you're like a real, you're like a real, you're like a real, you're like a real, you're like a real, you're like a real, you're like a real, you're like a real, you're like a real, you're like a real, you're like a real, you're like a real, you're like a real, you're like a real, you're like a real, you're like a real, you're like a real, you're like a real, you're like a real, you're like a real, you're like a real, you're like a real, you're like a real, you're like a real, you're like a real, called me fat or dumbbell. I don't know. They have a separate group text where they call you fat.
They have a, they break off into another group.
And then they go like, hey John, you're cool.
My new friends are so nice to me.
God damn, dude.
Are you gonna sleep?
Your eyes are, they look really fucked up.
I'm just fucked up right now.
This is like, look, you look like you got punched
in both eyes.
What?
You have raccoon eyes.
Look at his left eye, it's like blue and black.
Yeah, that's genetic, I got horrible genes.
Yeah, kicked in today, it's genetic.
It doesn't usually look like that.
I got big old bags under my eyes.
No, but I'm gonna take a camping
and that'll be fun, Connor.
And I heard, I heard taking to Yosemite is amazing
because you enter a tunnel
and then the second you exit the tunnel,
like you just see everything.
Yeah, wow.
Damn.
If you go the route like past my parents house
into the forest.
Big Tonga Canyon.
Oh, it's gorgeous.
And there's some, there's a restaurant there.
I forgot what it's called, but it's so cool.
Newcombe Ranch.
Yeah, that goes up to the crest.
Yeah, it's right at home for you.
There's a lot of neo-Nazis up there.
Yeah.
You'll love it, dude.
Yeah, I'll love it.
Should go to Gravity Hill.
Put my bar with your 13 year old friends.
And be like, I feel like he's like,
there's a ghost.
I'm like, I'm your 13 year old friends
Forge out here you guys think I'm cool
What is gravity hill to explain to the listeners it's this it's like kind of a have one in every fucking town Yeah, every town is this dumb hill where they say like you guys that reach Tunga gravity hill that reach the hunger
Yeah, it's in Sylmar. Why is it in Pasadena, bro?
No, Gravity Hill's in Sylmar.
You had a different Gravity Hill.
We had a Gravity Hill.
They're all over these Gravity Hills.
Joey, did you guys have some bullshit like that
in South Dakota?
Yeah, we have one of those.
Where you go up to a town and they,
what do they say?
Little babies are pushing a car up the hill.
Your car will go up without it,
without you being in drive or something?
You put it in neutral and it's the optical illusion
and your car actually looks like it's rolling
Uphill but touching rolling downhill. It's because the surroundings there's like the slopes go
Yeah, and everyone in the car just goes like oh
Yeah, there's one you blast kid Cuddy and one in Silmarion one in Pasadena
I had no clue you had the it's like the East West Catholic the schizo burp
Unbelievable yeah, I didn't say it was he he was hotbox
The guy at 7-eleleven's just taking hot dogs
off their spinners and throwing them at John like a seal.
Like a walrus.
Woo woo woo!
Oh God, you really suck my ass.
I love you.
I love you too, I hate you so much though.
You really suck my ass, I love you.
So let's real quick, you see this?
That's a hilarious picture.
You know, because I know Mark Wahlberg,
he blinded that Vietnamese man and whatnot,
but in 1986, Mark Wahlberg chased after three black kids
throwing rocks at them while shouting,
kill the N-word, kill the N-word.
This is new?
It's new.
Who leaked it?
I need a source.
Kendrick.
Click the link on the on the post.
If you go to the picture with legal issues.
I feel like I knew this already.
Yeah, this is old news.
I expected that he did this.
I just didn't know that it was publicized.
Yeah, I love Vietnam.
Fucking shit, though. That's that's hilarious.
I mean, it's like a rite of passage in Boston.
I don't race crime. Yeah.
In that era? Yeah it's on his Wikipedia in June 1986 a 15 year old, he's 15 come on we all.
You know that was their version of group chats. Who amongst us? Yeah it was real life group chats.
Come on it's you know it's but uh yeah then he thought he could uh save everybody on the 9-11 flights, right?
I think he would've.
He only, if those hijackers were white,
he would've said, like, I would've helped them.
It's funny how those two events are so close to each other.
86 in 2001?
Oh, 80, I think he said 96.
No, 86, 86.
He had some time.
I thought like from 96 to 2001, he's like, you know what?
That is 15 years, though.
That is kind of wild.
That's a long time.
They should play into just him being a racist even in his like family-friendly movies like Arthur the king
He's like he's like he's walking along with the dog. He's like come on little Edward
Come on. We're gonna win this race you little fucking come on. You'll speak
We got this. He trains our board.
Bite Asians.
He goes, they're gonna try and eat ya.
They're savage people.
By the way, you know who doesn't have any accusations like that?
No racial stuff whatsoever.
Matt Damon. Jeremy Renner.
Uh, he has a...
A little shooting scene. He shoots a little pot shot off.
Like a rape thing.
He invites-
No, he didn't, rape!
Didn't he have like a gaslighting rape thing?
Isn't he abusing his stripper's family?
No, they were rude.
Did he also like almost shoot his baby?
Oh yeah, he almost capped his kid.
He shot off one little pot shot inside.
One little pop.
It's a pot shot.
And everybody's like-
Office pop.
Oh yeah, he whizzed it over the baby's head.
No, he like shot one into a stud or something.
Like he ate his stud.
A stud?
I'm gonna go out on a limb saying that chasing three
black guys on the end word is not as bad as shooting
a gun in your house.
You can do it.
Okay, well I think that if you're-
He was through the roof into his baby's room.
Yeah, that's crazy.
They're both kind of-
But the last thing is he had it-
Oddly enough, they're like almost equal.
They're almost the same thing.
He had it in his mouth and then went,
ah, and then shot it in the air, which is even funnier. He was doing like a fight club
Yeah, I think he's a grown man he pays his taxes if he wants to shoot a pot shot in his own house that he bought
It is his own house
Maybe he was trying to make some ventilation in the baby's room. Maybe the baby couldn't couldn't read that well
Yeah, sure needed a hole. Yeah, that's fair. I'm just to that bullet hit the baby. He'd be like the worst guy of all time
Yeah, if my aunt had a dick she'd be my uncle
Baby didn't get ventilated
I really hope that he's on trial someday you get pulled into the jury for some reason the character witness. Yeah, that'd be great
Are you wearing your your dirty redder shirt?
Bloody redder shirt I remember that cool black guy who stopped Joe. He's like dude love this shirt. Yeah, and just like thanks my bro. Thanks, bro
That was very bizarre that guy even recognized the shirt. That he's even seen the Bourne legacy.
Seen the Bourne legacy.
Yeah, I was wearing the Jason Bourne,
I mean the Jeremy Renner Jason Bourne t-shirt
and yeah, really cool looking black guy
just goes, love that shirt.
My only assumption on that was like,
oh, he must think that I'm the director
of the movie or something.
Because why else would I be wearing this shirt?
No one is just that big of a fan.
Who's the only guy who wears that shirt? No one is just a bad thing of a fan
Maybe he thought you're a runner him all that's Jeremy Renner. Yeah
I'm gonna go with that. I thought you were runner. Yeah, he's like, yeah, man. Could you fucking sing for his I
You sing to me and my girlfriend. I would have said yes. Can you sing one of his songs?
Do you know by heart? I would like to look to we listen all sing along we can on YouTube Patreon right patreon you can go to town you can do all the carry those pipes rest buddy. So on page
We're gonna be doing our karaoke runner. Yeah, you know I gotta say we watched we were in Boston
We watched the town again, and he's so fucking good in that it's like it's like a it's like a modern James Cagney performance
And then after that I haven't given a fuck about anything.
Him and Jon Hamm, we were talking about it.
It's like after that, they were like, let's do bullshit.
Oh, Jon Hamm was good.
Jon Hamm's just decided to pretend to be a comedian.
He wants to be funny?
What?
He doesn't stand up?
No.
He's just obsessed with hanging out in comedy circles.
He's always on podcasts trying to be funny and wacky.
He thinks he's a wacky guy.
He's one of those guys that just makes, he's kind of the equivalent of a female gerbil face when women think they're funny
They like to a double chin judge John Hamm's level of humor
The problem is that he's had a few good moments like he's great and like bridesmaids
You know the guy he is he can do good comedic acting
But it's just like I think everybody who really loves him wants to see him be Don Draper and do some like very
Yeah, or be that fucking the FBI agent if it's from the town. Yeah
Yeah, he's just like cheapen himself to just to like he shouldn't be on comedy bang bang this much
She's on it like five times a year
That's the saddest John and the saddest thing about comedy is that is it is it tricks like high-level celebrities?
Yeah into wanting to get involved in it?
And then you wind up, you see like one of the biggest losers
you've ever met in your entire life
taking a picture with like Don Draper.
Because he doesn't know any better.
Because he went down to the comedy street
and he's like hanging out with open micers.
He's somebody that I wish guys like him would realize
how much more impressive their dramatic acting is
than any sort of silly dumbass
Or he's a drunk too, that's the other thing
Maybe he's so drunk that he's just like doesn't
But I just wish I could say like dude, you're so good at dramatic acting
You should never care ever about making somebody laugh
That's for retards to do
Let retards make people laugh
That's our job
Yeah, exactly
I had a buddy who was his caddy at Riviera
and he would golf with Larry David and he would get so fucked up and
John Hamm wouldn't say a word but Larry David so in golf golf
There's this rule where like if it's within the length of a leather on a club
You just give the guy the hole, you know what I mean?
But Larry David repeatedly asked John Hamm to pull his cock out and see if it was within the cock length
Oh, that is funny. Yeah, cause he's known for his back.
And he'd be like,
that's pretty blue for Larry David, I'm serious.
Yeah, Larry David doesn't usually do stuff like that.
Yeah, that's crazy.
Larry David's doing jackass shit, that's insane.
I...
But, you know.
I've also heard that John Hamm smells like utter shit
all the time too. What?
Yeah, I've heard that from multiple people.
It's probably a drunkard thing.
He's a drunkard.
He smells like whiskey and shit.
He used to show up to a comedy show and he would like he like had like piss in his pants
Yeah, he's constantly smelled like utter shit
He's on the he reads the Liam Neeson handbook for going out in public. He is the American Liam Neeson. Yeah
Well sad. I wouldn't give him that much credit. That's a little deep dive on John Hamm. I mean what a way
He's kind of always is like look at his IMDB to see if maybe we're missing some big project that we don't know about.
Maybe he's coming.
His big project, what, Fletch?
The new Fletch that he did?
Yeah, confess Fletch.
Maybe he's in a huge movie that's being made now
or something.
Oh, John Ham.
No, I know.
Billy on the street.
What do you think he's gonna be in like a great thing?
Let's just go IMDB John Ham and we can check.
He's in the new Fargo I guess guess I don't I haven't watched this
Oh the TV people love that. People do love I know they really love it
I haven't watched a single my mom specifically said like oh the John Hamm season is incredible. Let's see he's
Upcoming what does he have upcoming? What does that say or what transformers one? Okay?
And then he's gonna be in a movie called the or he's in production. Landman.
Go to it and see if there's maybe it's like a Scorsese movie.
Not a chance.
A modern day tale of fortune seeking in the world of West Texas oil rigs.
I was a tailor.
It's Taylor Sheridan.
Taylor Sheridan, who makes 17 movies a month.
What else?
Your friends and neighbors go.
That's a TV series
Offseason and Wilder and me plays William Holden
Okay, so he plays that's okay that kind of makes sense that's like a that's like a
Biopic who's the director? I can't even
Steven Frears who is that click it click that guy?
Steven Frears who is that click it click that guy
Off wall greatest comedian, I swear to God no this guy sounds
What does he was a lawyer? He's he's a talented guy this guy made the dangerous liaison he directed Philomena and the Queen and
Dirty pretty things I think the ham is back. That's what I'm so I don't
Solved have you seen all the headlines about a French for Coppola?
During the production of like make a lot. Yeah, have you seen all the stuff?
That he was like like so I know you'd be like molesting the girls in the movie in the mood for sex scenes
Well inviting girls like sound is lapping like grab their breasts like kiss them together in the mood
And then he'd fuck off those trailer kiss them to get them in the mood.
And then he'd fuck off through his trailer
and smoke weed for four hours where everyone waited for him.
Damn.
He's being like an absolute terror.
He's trying to recreate the apocalypse now.
He really is.
He's trying to create the chaos.
Heart to Dark.
Well, I think his wife also died
and then that was really the love of,
she made Heart to Darkness.
And now that she's gone, I bet you he's like,
time's like, fuck mode.
Fuck mode, yeah. Molec, yeah, let me. Hearts of darkness and now that she's gone. I bet you he's like times like fun to most fuck mode. Yeah, well
Watching John Hamm in the new season in that season of curb was just just tragic. What do you do?
Yeah, he's trying to be funny
He's a himbo he is he's a himbo the big-ass cock
He was great and unfrosted though, ooh unfrosted that new Jerry Seinfeld movie
I I watched you on me
I watched maybe 30 minutes of it at Devon Walker's place and we were both kind of like we couldn't like our brains couldn't comprehend
Like what our eyes were seeing
You mean you're like wait, this is so ambitious and like expensive and there's every celebrity alive in it
Yeah, but you're like you don't get the tone of it either. It's like a made-up universe
Is it a kids movie like we thought was a kids movie for a while?
We're like if this is a kids movie then fine and Seinfeld's gonna complain about it's the woke mind virus that ruins
But it's not a kids movie. It's PG-13. So I'm just like, who the fuck is this for? It's so confusing, dude.
I turned it off after like 30 seconds.
I was watching by myself.
If I was watching with a friend, I would've been like,
okay, let's just watch it out and die.
No, it was so bad that it wasn't worth like hate watching.
I couldn't even, no.
I turned around, I'm like, I hate the tone of this.
I know exactly what they're trying to do.
Not for me.
And the world agrees.
It's called a bout.
40%, it's about like the invention of frosted flags or something.
Wow.
Oh, okay, great.
No, the invention of Pop-Tart.
Pop-Tart.
40% on Rotten Tomatoes though, so like everybody hates it.
It's not just cynics.
Jesus.
Seinfeld can't make a good movie.
No, he's useless without Larry David.
Yeah, it's just a billion.
His outcome since Seinfeld is movie in Unfrosted.
Damn.
And he somehow thinks that the B movie wasn't.
It was genius to him.
But they also, he wasn't allowed to get away
with what he really wanted.
He's like, I wanted full penetration.
That lady and the B.
He's like, the Bs, the Bs should be saying the N word.
But these college kids, they ruined the bee movie!
The bees should be balls deep in that lady!
He did, I did see that he made this big announcement
where he's like, movies are dead.
There's no such thing, it's like the whole medium's dead
and then he makes unfrosted and it's just like,
okay, if you're gonna be talking shit like that
about the entire medium of movies,
you can't really make unfrosted.
Yeah, you gotta come out swinging.
You can't be doing that.
By the way, we should go see that new Chris Pied movie
that he run directed.
Where he's like a pool guy.
It has one of the worst ratings I've ever seen.
It's about his love for LA and shit.
I think it has a 10% critic score
and a 10% audience score.
It also looks like he really thought he was like,
that was his masterpiece.
He's like, I saw this quote from him in an interview where he's like, that was his masterpiece. Yeah, he's like, he full, I saw this like,
quote from him in an interview where he's like,
yeah, I mean, like everyone's trying to convince me
that I made the biggest hunk of shit of all time,
but I just rewatched it and I love it.
It's fantastic.
He like made it for himself.
He really did.
We should go see it though.
He's trying to make his beach boat.
He was trying to make like inherent vice.
That's the problem with Hollywood.
The problem with Hollywood is that all these guys
that are just like, you're just like an average,
you're like a fine actor or actress.
You keep doing it and all of a sudden you start,
you think you're an auteur.
You think you should get behind that camera.
Yeah, very few guys transcend the-
Olivia Munn and you know.
Very few guys transcend the like expendable actor thing.
Most actors are just good enough.
I'm like, hey, you got lucky, you're just good.
Sylvester Stallone fucked it up for everybody because everyone's like if
that fucking retard
that's black jawed retard when Oscar Philly dipshit he just has brain damage
he's actually but like he had a stroke yeah and so he has brain damage I didn't
know that yeah he had a full stroke and that's why it's like faces all okay you
know that's when do you have a stroke when did he have that. Yeah, he had a full stroke and that's why his like face was all like, Hey, you know, that's when he has a stroke.
When did he have that stroke?
And when he was like nine years old, he was a younger man when he had it.
But yeah, no, gave him before Copland.
Does that make sense?
No, yeah, but before any movie, he was before any movie.
I love doing Copland.
I mean, all gives us the best of all.
Appless dumbass.
Just an absolute. He ruins that fucking movie.
Just the most like physically. I think he makes dumbass. Just an absolute retard. He ruins that fucking movie. Just the most physically. Comprehensive!
I think he makes it.
Yeah, he's incredible.
He makes it in a way, but at the same time,
he's surrounded by these A-list actors
who are just trying their fucking best,
and they can't do it because every scene,
Sylvester Stallone's in, he just ruins it.
No, I disagree.
He plays a retard, no, that's not true at all.
He's nailing what he's doing.
Also, he was at the top of his game
when that movie came out, too.
No, no, no.
He was also a A-list celebrity.
That was a star-studded cast.
Yes, I know it's a star-studded cast,
but he's playing a retard, but he's playing him the sappy,
he should be playing him as a man trying to like be strong,
but he's playing it like a sappy retard.
John's like, John's like, John goes,
Leonardo DiCaprio, what's he eating, Gilbert Grape?
Well, he was like playing it like a retard.
No, do you know what I mean, though?
Like he should have been like a man fighting his past, as opposed to a man who's like, yeah, I'm like a reaper. No, you know what I mean? He should have been like a man fighting his past
as opposed to a man who's like, yeah, I'm just a sad guy.
Well, that movie has a million flaws, for sure.
But John's like, Michael Rapoport should have shined in the movie,
but he was being brought down by Sylvester Stallone.
He was a downtrodden guy who worked in a corrupt city
where he had no power, and he was like deaf,
and he had a failed
career as a better kind of cop. He's playing like a sab. He's a sad guy he's a downtrodden guy that gets redemption.
Watching him was pathetic. I think he killed it in Copland. I doubt it. He's the worst thing in Copland.
It's one of my favorite roles from him actually. Me too man. It's so funny it's so anti how he is.
Yeah. He's like playing. It is the most range he's ever shown.
This meek retard.
He's like Mickey Rourke of the rest of the team.
Exactly, yeah.
Hey, sorry, dude.
How we can tell you was speeding back there.
You were going 16, 55.
You gotta give me a ticket.
Don't bully me.
That's the movie we came up with.
And then they all came up with the back thing, okay.
That was the movie we came up with
the sucking the gun thing.
Like all the mafia guys that make them suck
Such a fag in that movie is just like it was pathetic. It was like he's being bullied the entire fucking
He could have been he could have played it at the end at the end he fucking goes out there
Oh betta he's got his fucking shotgun. It's redemption. He goes he goes deaf in both ears. It's fucking awesome. Mmm
He's a sad broken that piece of me. He's like a Mickey Rourke
He's amazing also if you watch the sly documentary Quentin Tarantino like raves about how much he loves sly in Copland
Take on it, but he's just like,
he, Tarantino loves Sly.
In Copland.
Yeah, I love Tarantino, but I also don't trust
any of his movie takes anymore.
Just because he liked that train, Unstoppable.
And what's his other one?
Okay, well actually Paw Patrol is one of the greatest movies
I've ever seen, okay?
You just don't get it, okay?
He just likes movies.
He has terrible taste in movies.
He just likes, he's a real autistic nerd about movies.
He's not, he doesn't care about how he's perceived.
He's just like, I don't know.
When I watch stupid shit, I love it,
and I'm not gonna lie.
I'm not gonna try to pretend like I'm sophisticated.
When's the last time you watched Rambo 4?
Which one was that?
That was the one where he's in Burma.
It was the first of the Rambo remakes.
Love that fucking movie.
That movie is so fucking good.
When he's mowing people down that hill.
Yes, that movie is.
With that fucking stationary gun.
And also his acting is really good in it too.
He like totally collects the Rambo character
and brings him back in a more palatable way.
Did you guys see the most recent Rambo movie?
I heard it's dog shit.
It's one of the most insane movies I've ever seen.
I loved it. Yeah dude, it's like. Wow, fuck. First of all, it's dog shit. It's one of the most insane movies I've ever seen. I loved it.
Yeah dude, it's like, first of all,
it's not even related to his previous past or whatever.
He's living on a ranch and he's now like-
No, that's what it is.
He went after Rambo IV, he went back to the ranch.
Oh, okay, but there's like a Mexican family he lives with.
It's in Arizona or some shit.
Yeah, and there's like a daughter.
Is this his daughter, I guess?
I think he has a daughter.
She goes to Tijuana.
No, it's his stepdaughter.
Stepdaughter.
Goes to Tijuana, she gets kidnapped.
He just like baits all the whole cartel
to come back to his ranch
and he sets up just like a maze death trap.
These jigsaw.
It's full jigsaw.
It's insane.
It's dudes getting their heads blown off left and right.
He's just like.
I would love to watch that.
It's so much fun.
It's not what I was expecting.
Did you watch Rambo 4?
Yeah, I've seen him all.
That was so fucking good.
The scene where they're driving in
or they're boating into Burma.
Yeah.
And then like.
The pirates come. Rambo's like, oh don't move. Burma. Yeah, and then like the pirates. Yeah Rebels like I don't move
Nobody move. Yeah, and then like within a
Pistol out and he just fucking blows all their heads off and then five shots within like a second
And he just go when the guy when the guy's like, why would you kill someone? He's like there was a rape to a thousand times
times
Drooling on their head he's gonna blow their fucking skull in he rips the guys throw it out that movie because he's a pedophile It's like he does road ass. Yeah, he does roadhouse. What's one of your favorite bad movies of all time, Joey?
Um
Fuck that stuff. I do you're like the king of bad movies. I mean I really
The beekeepers up there beekeepers up there was up there pretty
Yeah, I a lot. It's probably a Nicolas Cage movie. I'm not exactly sure which one there's one called knowing no
He's really knowing yeah, I love knowing I
Love a lot of John Claude Van Damme stuff
Like early like Bloodsport something something like that? Timecop.
I don't think Bloodsport's a bad movie.
Bloodsport's actually a good movie.
Bloodsport's a good movie.
For what it is, I love Timecop.
Fuck.
I don't think you should even count 80s films.
I think 90s is where you really got really good bad movies.
I think The Rock is actually up there.
The Rock is incredible.
Yeah, The Rock is great.
That's why The Beekeeper felt like a return to form.
Yeah.
Because it was a modern worst thing ever made.
That's a type of movie that I watch like something
like The Rock or one of these movies
and I go like I wish they still made stuff like this
and that's what Beekeeper did.
You gotta protect the hive.
I did go to a bee sanctuary.
Nothing funnier I've ever seen in my entire life
in comedy or anything than the opening scene when the old black lady that is letting him stay on his on her like like ranch and
He's just keeping bees. There's no connection to her
He just like she just likes that
He's a nice beekeeper and she loses all her money and like a scam online in like 10 seconds millions of dollars
Go to zero and then he walks into the house
and she's immediately shot herself in the head.
Like she wouldn't try anything else.
She didn't go.
No second guessing.
No recourse.
No follow up.
She didn't phone a friend.
She didn't call the bank.
Call her daughter.
Didn't call anybody.
She could've called the bank at least once.
She just resorted to like, oh it's all good.
Her daughter's an FBI agent. She could've called her daughter. She once. She just resorted to like, oh it's all good. Her daughter's an FBI agent.
She could have called her daughter.
She goes, no this is it.
She just, this old black woman just fucking just
pulls a gun out and blows her head off
in a lazy boy. Truly hilarious.
Wells Fargo's like, there is currently a seven minute hold.
Please wait, nevermind.
I did go to a bee sanctuary yesterday and they like all love the beekeeper.
Any kind of bee guy.
It was so funny.
I was asking all these people who keep bees and they're like, yeah, that's the best fucking
movie of all time.
I was like, yeah, seriously?
I didn't even think about that.
It was like, oh yeah.
I didn't even think about the niche impact of Beekeeper.
That's incredible.
First time ever Beekeeper's been been like dude, that's us
Holy they felt represented for the first time in their entire lives The givers love that movie keepers have to be kind of like freaky, right?
My uncle's people my uncle's beekeeper my brother-in-law's a beekeeper hanging out with bees all day. I love it. They sting
He gets fresh honeycomb good honey. It's good
I have some in my backpack. There's something sexual about it though. Well weird cuz they like to get stuff extra come
You don't get stung. Yeah. Well every once in a while and so
There's no way they don't get hardly ever they not a handle them. They were like the people who?
Jack off horses at farms because that leather sock they put the cock
With the baby bottle I know somebody has somebody has to do this
Well, why does that to be you? Yeah, and why I'm just surprised how easily the horse comes. It's kind of crazy
Have you seen that they literally just put the leather sock on the horse cock and it just like fills up a stroke
He had like literally two strokes. I only noticed is a jacket. I'm Tim Thompson
This is what I'm talking about. These these guys are kind of free
If you like me you've been thinking about bees for your farm or backyard for quite a while
But haven't known where to begin and it's all been every wacky fuck is from Australia. Yeah
They're just so fucking wacky those fucks. They have to be it's cuz dingos are still in their babies
On the Barbie dude, they're fucking Kangaroos are blocking traffic
It is like they're there like their biggest enemy is animals.
Yeah.
Like they don't, they're like,
oh my fucking ex-wife, she's dying a kangaroo.
Like they actually are at war with animals.
No, the fact that-
They're such a retarded people,
like snakes like bang their wives.
Yeah.
Yeah.
The fact that Love on the Spectrum season one
was based in Australia, I'm like, that feels calculated.
Yeah.
You guys are up to something.
You're like, let's see how much goofier these guys can get.
Are they on the spectrum or are they just Australians?
It is the funniest accent.
As I've said before, Australians,
they're fermented British people.
For real, they're just British people you left in the sun.
Yeah, sun dried Brits.
And they're like, oh, I got an ABV.
They have an ABV on their birth certificate.
They have gasoline.
Yeah, get your fucking cock out of my wife, you tarantula. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Andrew, how are you most? Very good, Tim, how are you? Now we're very lucky, Andrew is an expert in bee-
I mean, I guess we need honey and stuff.
Maybe this is a bit crazy.
Somebody does need to do this.
Bees are crucial.
They're crucial.
You know I heard the other day they're fucking releasing a bunch of mosquitoes out here.
Yeah, no, it's like a hybrid, it's to eliminate the invasive mosquitoes.
Oh, so it's like a war going on?
Yeah, that's cool.
Oh, so it's gonna be helpful mosquitoes?
American mosquitoes to fight the fucking god
Where these other ones come from fucking China?
Those these last couple fucking summers have been a nightmare real ironic the fucking insects creating a new mosquito
Yeah, Mike John. Hey dude, come on, man
Jesus buddy. You gotta save that for the hidden like underneath us talking you say something like that
You know just you can't have the floor for that
God or else coming out soon. You'll be good. Save it for gutter oil. Yeah
It is like that is like old timey. That's like like that's a that's a evil leader type speak
John
It's the way their culture works it's like they're like a hive of people that like,
it's all about mastering stuff.
It's like Confucianism, it's fucked up.
And then they make like super viruses
that spread their mosquitoes.
And then they bring them here and then they created COVID
and then they fucked my brain up.
You know what I mean?
You blame them.
I guess you do have like a personal vendetta.
You have like a Punisher origin story.
I came here as fuck.
Chinese people.
They fucked me up dude
John's like, oh boy, be where he is
I didn't know what fucking, dude, that was, oh my god
Don't even get me started
I forget shit, Conn
My boss told me to do something
Don't even get me started
My boss told me to do something today on Thursday
and then five minutes later I was like,
what'd you tell me to do?
It's fucking ridiculous
This is a very strange headline for news
Mosquitoes are thriving in post-Hillary, California. Are they blaming Hillary Clinton for the I don't know but that's interesting
What does that mean is Hillary of town? Maybe
Completely out of this kill them all with DDT. Like I thought that's how we got rid of them in the first place
I think you want some I don't get I don't really it's the good ones. Not the Chinese ones
I don't release the good ones not the Chinese ones
I can hit by mosquitoes all fucking day and I let daddy long legs live amongst me
Long legs are cute daddy long legs are all around me and everyone always just say like you can't kill day long I need long they fucking they take down like the bugs and they don't do shit
It was like a greaser naming daddy long legs are just fucking snapping at him
They're naming daddy long legs are just fucking you just snapping at him come on
Let's go they're just sitting around smoking dope collecting government checks all fucking day drinking 40s
Are lazy pieces of shit they never do what we were told as kids there we go
This is my favorite Devon complaint I've heard him yell about this before He goes really there they help when's the last time you saw one of them doing something good
There's one in the corner. I he's been in the same position for weeks. Mm-hmm lazy cocksucker
Why have you seen a mosquito in here?
Yeah, yeah, we were getting bit up a few weeks ago. Yeah, daddy long legs are like dude if he gets within an
Centimeter of me he's done
That's all they can do there's no range. Yeah, they stink
Fuck them. We're really taking people to task. Also. I heard there's a new a pig flu or some shit pigs
Oh my god spreading from pigs to chickens, but it hasn't spread to people yet or something.
I heard there's a lot of viruses on the land.
Very exciting times to be alive.
Yeah. Love a good virus.
I had swine flu in seventh grade.
What? What?
Yeah.
What happened?
I just couldn't stop pissing and shitting.
You got it from what?
Pissing? That's like wild one.
Shitting, I understand.
I had no control over any of my bowels.
So it was like I would shit and piss at the same time.
I'd throw up and piss and shit.
Like every time something came out of me,
everything came out of me.
You know when I was a kid,
I was terrified of mad cow disease.
Yeah.
Cause I loved, it was a fact, I loved a good burger.
I still love a good burger.
And everyone, everyone, I don't, I know, I swore them off.
You're fat.
But no, I can't stand you.
I hate you so much. You disgust me. You have done nothing but bring this podcast off. You're fat. But no, I hate you so much.
You have done nothing but bring this podcast down.
I hate you.
I brought you on.
You guys remember the mad cow disease?
It actually was like kind of terrifying.
It was like a rabies-esque, where it eats your brain.
It does something to your brain.
I'm feeding cows cows.
Kind of gives you rabies. I was afraid to eat meat cows cows kind of gives you ratings, right?
Yeah, I was afraid to eat meat for a little bit
I mean I kept doing it but it was it was it was scary for a second
I had that same exact fear it did seem scary
And it was one of those things that they it was sort of like being compared to like this zombie kind of stuff
Yeah, where that was huge at the time and still is but yet
No, you had this fear that you were gonna get like a thing that made you crazy.
You lost your mind and became like a rabid-
That's such a terrifying, the rabies is maybe
the scariest disease to me.
Rabies, seeing a person with rabies is terrifying.
Where they can't eat or see it.
Those videos, they can't swallow.
They die in like 20 minutes.
That Malaysian guy where they're like giving him water
and he's like, and getting rabies is crazy.
It's like, hey, canies drink the water rate. Yeah
They're always like walking around like John. I'll take another beer
And your customers oh
You buffoon your brain is gone
Well getting rabies it depends on where you get bit too because like we get bit in your foot like you have
But if you could be in your armpit or like your neck you could be dead in like fucking 20
Well, also it isn't it go dormant and you don't know you have it for like 20 years and then one day you wake up
You're like the Wolverine. I'm Jack's and yeah. Yeah, I read some stat about there's been like one person ever that survived rabies
ever
Really? You mean like look at I like the shot for no. No, I'm talking about like it's like it kills
It's like got the it's got the deadliest fatality rate
Oh
Rabies is rare in the u.s. California girl by a rabbit animal
Oh, yeah, if they're back Cali way, she's some without the shots
It's usually a death sentence only two Americans are known to have survived race to without treatment
She's until now the third is an eight-year-old California girl. And CBS News correspondent Terry McCarthy has her story.
She's like last of us.
When Precious Reynolds was scratched by a feral cat.
Her name is Precious Reynolds?
Imagine naming your daughter Precious.
What the hell?
She has a survivor A.B.'s left one.
This is my son, Fantastic Johnson.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Much of it. And didn't tell anyone in her family. Look at ha. Much of it.
And didn't tell anyone in her family.
Look at her.
What an animal.
Ha ha ha ha.
She raised by wolves?
Let's zoom in on this fucking animal.
Ha ha ha ha.
Fucking raised by wolves.
Drake's gonna show up like Saganor.
Ha ha ha ha.
Drake's in the Make-A-i Nicks. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha She wanted to be in Montana. Scratched by a feral cat, not knowing what it was or anything. Damn, look at that lump on the mom's head.
Holy shit.
Her husband popped her right before the interview.
Good God.
What the hell happened to you?
She wouldn't stop yapping.
That's what happened.
She goes, yeah, I got a lip on me.
My husband hit me with a mallet.
Like an anemone.
Yeah, it's either that or the anvil he drops on me.
You know, I take the mallet if I have the choice.
Might have been that piano hanging from a row.
He painted a tunnel and I ran into it head first.
I don't know how to explain this,
but you know you're from a shit white trash family
when your parents wear just giant t-shirts.
What is that, shirts?
It's a wrestling shirt.
You know what I mean?
When your parents just wear a giant t-shirt that What is that shirt? It's a wrestling shirt. You know what I mean? When your parents just wear a giant t-shirt
that they got at Walmart.
That is, I used to see these shirts in South Dakota.
We'd go to a wrestling tournament
and they would sell these
and every single shirt looked like that.
It was some super jacked,
or it was like a giant dog in a wrestling.
They sell them.
It's for like, it's just,
it's like the granny shirt.
It's the type of shirt that's for like two people
that you're raised by that just,
they live in Lazy Boy chairs and every time
they get up off the chair, they're fueled by a fart.
And the fart shoots them to the bathroom.
Or it shoots them to the kitchen
so they can warm up your Chef Boyardee for dinner
and you just pray every day you could make it to 18 without killing them
Well, there's just chain chain smoking inside every day and you go to school and maybe at your school like an English teacher
Because you I see great potential in you. I see great potential in you
But you just you live amongst these big t-shirt retards that raise you in a trailer park
Yeah, and their cats pissing them because they cat thinks it's furniture, just a dormant lady.
I grew up with so many people like this.
I would put my life, I bet my life
that that girl's middle name is Raelynn.
Probably.
Like there's no doubt in my mind
that her name is Precious Raelynn Reynolds.
Yeah, yeah.
Her name, Precious Brazzers Reynolds.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Precious ex-videos Reynolds.
It was real scary. Whoa! The actors thought it was the flu or That's the deepest fucking voice I've ever seen. It was real scary.
Whoa!
That's the deepest fucking voice I've ever seen.
It was real scary.
Things kept getting worse until...
She took a couple steps and then her legs just collapsed.
Precious was flown to this hospital near Sacramento.
Is that a woman?
Yeah, it's a woman.
As I put in a medically induced coma.
Dr. Teresa Vallotton went through every possible scenario except one.
Rabies did not even cross my mind.
But when that diagnosis came, doctors felt it was too late for traditional treatments to save her.
They were all but certain she would die.
It's very rare for a patient to survive from rabies and the mortality.
This is why I don't fuck with bats. Your Uncle Joe was showing us.
By the way, shout out to Uncle Joe if you're listening.
We love you.
I had a great time with you.
You're an amazing person, and Kelly.
But he showed us the cemetery
and they have these things in Pennsylvania, bat boxes.
They're making beds for bats.
These savages get to, they're making apartments for them.
What is a bat box?
It's a home for bats. The bats can sleep in a them. What is it? What is a bad pot?
That's can sleep in this cemetery. Yeah, like in a little home park next to the cemetery The best and the bats why cuz they want the bats to go kill all the bugs
control the insect population
But they're disgusting. That's her savage flying rats. I like that's sick disgusting. I like rats too
You've all you're a', what is with you?
Ta-unga.
You're a couple sleeve tattoos away
from owning like four snakes.
Absolutely dude.
It's in my DNA, I can't help it.
You are one of those guys.
I really wanna flip off the camera
every time someone takes a photo of me.
I can't, it's just in me.
I don't know what you want.
I want a lifted truck so bad.
You know, I know I am this entire time, but I know fighting.
But here's the thing about bats.
You go sleep at a, I don't know,
so you go on a houseboat trip or something.
We're all getting drunk, we're gonna sleep
on the top of the boat, you know?
At the night.
What?
These bats, no, I did that as a kid.
What the fuck are you talking about?
Some friend of mine.
Me and P Diddy were on a boat together.
Somebody invited me to a houseboat trip.
I woke up with a huge asshole and a bat bite.
But no, but like.
Were you not bit by a bat?
No, but I'm saying they would like just fly over you
at night and you know, you're at these, whatever.
You're out in nature and you're at a campfire
and the bats fly around.
One can just bite you and you don't really feel it. And then maybe you have rabies and you could have rabies for years
You know clue and then one day I think you know if a bad fucking
It's a mouse size what gives you rate bats every every mammal
Every animal can give you rate. Yeah, this this girl got it from a cat
She could have given you got a for a. Yeah, it was a feral cat.
It was a, hey, by the way, that's a good PSA.
If you get scratched by a cat,
even if it's your own cat.
It could be a scratch?
Yeah, that's what it is.
I thought it was a bite.
Yeah, you should always go to the doctor.
Yeah, absolutely.
Maybe I just saved some lives with that.
Oh my God, yeah, that's, Joey, thank you so much.
You're welcome.
That's why I don't mingle with cats. I have no respect for cats. I look at them on the street and I think about
putting a dynamite in their mouth. You're caught. You always see them like a butterfly effect and
you're like yes. Yeah they put the cat in the package, smashing it. That's you.
I love Harmony Corrine movies
because of his treatment of cats.
Damn, dude.
You're sick, fuck.
I am sick.
No, I mean, I like a little docile home cat.
They're okay, but I'm allergic, so fuck them.
I've met some cats that are so sweet and friendly
that you would love them.
But here's what people always say about those cats.
They go, yeah, he's got the personality of a dog.
Yeah. Well, then how about just give me a dog?
And you can get him a wild dog, too, right?
You can get rabies from a wild dog. Sure.
Yeah. Yeah. No, if you if you ever die without a skull,
mocking things like that. Yep.
Yeah. I know.
Seperate. Well, the best, the best cat I've ever met.
If anyone, even the best cat I ever met at that person was like,
hey, do you want this to be your cat?
I'd be like, no, I'm good. By the way. Do you guys see this whole thing about Christy gnome?
She's the governor of South Dakota. Yeah legend. No, she's tonight, so she
wrote a book and
She killed a dog right? Yeah
She told a story in her book about how she bought this like this very cute puppy that her kids loved and then one day
He ran to the neighbor's chicken coop
and bit some of the chickens.
So she just instantly shot the dog in the head.
And the kids came home.
More than that.
That's some Hillbilly shit.
Yeah, yeah, the kids came home and they were like,
where's our dog?
She's like, I had to shoot your dog in the head.
And the dog just ate a chicken?
Yeah, just bit a couple of chickens.
Are you kidding me?
That's it? Yeah, that's it. She just wanted to kill that dog? Yeah, just bit a couple of chickens. Are you kidding me? That's it?
She just wanted to kill that dog.
Yeah, no, exactly.
She wanted to have her fucking right-neck mom.
She left the gate open.
She was like, there, go ahead.
Chickens are fair game.
For dogs?
Who cares about a chicken?
Eat them all day, every day.
Also, chickens are like 20 bucks each.
Just buy the person who chickens, keep the dog.
That is not worth a dog's life
Shawnee puppy he's fucking for doing what it's supposed to do
American households have a dog. So if you want to be a national political figure
It's probably not a good idea to shoot a dog and then brag about it in a book
But now that she has word is that South Dakota Governor Kristi Noem
Her chances of being Donald Trump's pick for
Vice President.
The backlash has been fierce, but as Amber Cogliano reports, the governor is doubling
down.
The backlash against Governor Kristi Noem is growing today.
The once high-flying Republican darling is facing widespread condemnation for shooting her dog
You try really do look at a South Park episode. This is crazy. This is insane
She's looking at your VP spot because she blew a dog's head off. She's bragging about shooting a dog in the face
It's also I think I think I saw a thumbnail is like a designer puppy too. Yeah, like it was-
It was like a doodle.
It was a puppy.
It was a puppy.
Yeah, it was a- it was a hypoallergenic dog.
Doesn't shed.
It's docile.
Uh...
Being autobiography, no going back.
Gnome Wright said her wire hair-
Look at the dog!
That's the- that's the- that's-
That's the saddest thing I've ever heard.
That's like a modern dog.
Are you sure that's the dog?
I don't think, the second time I've seen that photo.
Dude, that's like a gentrified dog.
Yeah.
That's one of those dogs that they make now
that come with a sweet green and a nice apartment complex
in an area that used to have characters.
I mean, shooting a dog is sociopathic behavior.
Yeah, any dog. It's crazy.
I'll sort of brag about it, it's some feet.
Imagine I put night vision goggles on to kill Frank you mean like it's the most
dangerous game like some Tom Clancy shit like I'm just walking up to my dog in
the couch blowing and set off me like I've defeated the beast I can all relax now. Yeah, the only time you should have a dog is if it's like incredibly sick and you have no other alternative.
Or a pit bull attacking a hitter.
Yeah, or that, yeah, yeah.
And was untrainable.
I hated that dog, Gnome writes.
She was less than worthless.
Jesus Christ!
When Cricket slaughtered the neighbor's chickens
like a trained assassin,
Gnome reveals that she took Cricket to a gravel pit
on her ranch in South Dakota and shot her in the head.
This story is leaving pretty much the entire nation aghast.
Puppy killer Kristi Noam goes this headline,
cruel and insane goes another.
In America, there's one thing that brings everybody together.
It doesn't matter where you are.
Yes, dogs.
Yeah, don't kill your dog.
Veterinarian Dr. Andrea Tu tells inside edition that cricket could imagine
shooting that dog in the fucking face
And then bragging about it writing a book about it Joey she called the dog less than worthless
Her kids like love the dog.
She's talking to the dog like Alan Baldwin talks to his dog. What she should have done honestly was to be a little patient
and to support cricket through this.
Killing cricket may have torpedoed Gnome's chances.
Imagine you're at a dog park in New York
and somebody comes up to one of these dogs
and shoots it in the fucking face.
Look at that dog, look at that Hannibal Lecter dog.
What the fuck is that?
Oh, that poor guy.
Just some fat lab with a Hannibal Lecter mask.
What is that?
I don't bite, dude.
That's crazy.
It looks like it's mixed with a mountain dog.
Like one of Johnny's dogs.
No, it's just fat, dude.
Or maybe it's just really fat.
It's just really fat.
Dogs are crazy when you think about it.
We just made them in labs.
Oh, Valerie makes me laugh constantly,
because she'll just have these sobering moments
where she looks at our dog and she goes,
can you believe this animal just lives in our fucking house?
And then you start thinking about the evolution of them.
And you're like, it is really silly.
It was a wolf.
Yeah, it was a wolf at one point.
That some guy tied up.
And then we just figured out how to make them cute
and do how to make different types.
Like all the cutest ones, we liked the most, we're we like them us record let's have them fuck each other so that
there will have more like babies like them yeah thousand years and then yeah
keep that going for long enough and you get these like little retarded pugs how
the fuck did a wolf turn into a pug just a lot of crazy a lot of fun made a new
animal yeah a lot of fun you take the most retarded dogs and you make them
fuck yeah no those like those like a pit bull pug mixes you know time other
pit bulls are like really low to the ground with tiny arms yeah like that's
the most evil thing I've ever seen mm-hmm they can't breathe right they
look like the dogs that the Predators have in that movie or it's like there's
ogre dogs that run in the shame black one yeah being named Donald Trump's mate, she was a top-tier candidate and now her rivals are pouncing.
This is a really really good dog that needs a home.
Florida's governor Ron DeSantis posted video of himself at a dog shelter,
and craving a puppy like a-
Ron DeSantis is a really good dog. Worst part about it's black, but it's a great dog.
Flying into the Hamptons as we speak.
Baby.
And Arizona's Carrie Lake posted a photo of herself
with her pug, Sushi.
Here's the thing the Democrats need to do.
They gotta start getting more of these
nail and palin' candidates.
I know.
Republicans kill it.
Because there's so many of these hot women
that are running. And the Democrats just have uggos
Yeah, but I mean Republicans like breed hot ladies though, I guess any the classic American hot lady they're rich people
They have all the money. It's keep breeding them. It's like they're dog breeding essentially. That's what Republicans are doing
Yeah, like let's get all the hottest people together fuck make a hot and they're retarded
And they're retarded they're awesome. They have dog brains. Yeah, it's such a great combo a hot retard
Yeah, I will put AOC up against like any Republican candidate. Yeah, she's hot dude. I would say she's as hot
I would personally a big giant big milkers on her now, but that's not what gets America going though
No, well, no, she, no listen.
I think Christy Lake is hotter and I like the
Wait, her?
And the dog killer.
Yeah, there's something about her.
I want her to fuck me after school.
Oh, that's like a fetish.
AOC has all these rules.
AOC can fuck you after school.
Nothing in the butt.
That type of shit.
I don't know about that.
I think AOC takes it, man.
I think AOC, more than than any Republican wants it in the ass
because she's open-minded.
She's aggressive.
She's a tough boyfriend.
She's probably gonna make him watch.
Yeah, I think she's open to anything.
She's like, that's sexual positivity.
You know, I'm kinda, I'm down to trying anything.
Yeah.
I'm not gonna yuck your yum.
Yeah, yeah.
It's like, it's close-minded for me.
To not give you my ass. Yeah, you. I don't know, she seems like a prude bitch to me. She seems prude to me, man. it's like it's it's close-minded for me to not give you my ass. Yeah, you know she seems like a prude bitch
She seems prude to me man. That's what she's with some like fucking
Dungeons and Dragons retard those guys are the weirdest guys ever. Yeah
Those guys could fuck those guys could fuck
Here's the thing. I don't think I go save a like serve you dinner and then fuck you this bitch
Here's the thing. I don't think I'll say will like serve you dinner and then fuck you this bitch
No, no actually might yeah, I think I feel I actually grew at Devon on this I think that she
probably ignores her roots as
You know like a Hispanic cook and she
We had one job a OC it was to be. Hispanic cook. I was like, we had one job AOC, it was to be a Hispanic cook. But here though, even better, she's like a cruel seductress.
Oh, she'll debase you.
She'll debase you.
She'll like hold you down.
Yeah, and she'll make you come on your own face.
Yeah, she'll muck you on your own face.
She'll jack you off upside down.
Yeah, with your feet up on the wall.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And that's not for everybody.
And it's not for everybody. But I'm just saying. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And that's not for everybody. And it's not for everybody.
But I'm just saying.
John, are you like into that?
If you like a woman wanted to make you
jack off in your own face, would you be doing that?
I wouldn't say no.
Yeah, you would do that.
Have you done it?
No, I haven't done it.
You're full of shit.
You can find me on that.
Listen, I'd love to do it.
Yeah.
If I did it, I would've told you.
He just hasn't done it yet,
but he would love to do it.
Anyone who wants to do that to me?
John, just tell the people.
John's looking at the girl, he goes,
I got a crazy idea, maybe I jack off into my own face.
Yeah, exactly.
Turn me into a Pop Tart.
Yeah.
Frosted.
Yeah, tell me to toaster strudel, how about that?
God.
You're sick, fuck.
Yeah, we're fucking, this podcast kicks ass, dude.
Wow. You're sick. Yeah, we're fucking this podcast cakes ass, dude
You guys get what I'm saying about this bitch though, right?
She's like the woman I worked at a pizza place for a while and I deliver pizza and it like women like that You'd show up at the door and you'd be like, I hope there's something fuck me. I'm like 19
You she runs like the mom at the sleepover though sleepover that knows she's being kind of seductive.
Yeah.
But she would never actually do anything,
but she walks out to go to the bathroom
and she's wearing a silk robe.
She's like, oh sorry, I don't know.
Right.
Dude, I had a friend like that growing up.
Her mom, his mom had a big boob job
and I would sleep in the living room
and she'd get out to go pee butt naked.
And she'd go, go oh sorry and I'm
like you know what you're fucking doing. You saw her naked? Yeah. How old were you? Probably like 12, 13.
I had the same thing. I had a friend whose mom would leave us porno in the bathroom to jerk off to.
That's a little dip. I had a friend's mom. She was super hot too. Yeah she was super hot. But she
would never show her tits like. Yeah this bitch is walking around the house. Yeah flashing you like that's that's not
Yeah, she also like you would get drunk at like family parties not family
We're like adult parties my parents throw a party and she would like flash the whole party
She's like supra and also her weird husband was like so
Yeah, I'm like yeah, that's awesome.
And that lady is Kristi Noem.
But same vibe.
What was yours, Joe?
My example could be an honest mistake,
but it just seems like now,
the older I get, the more suspicious it seems.
I was at my friend's house and she knew
that I was at least in the house.
And I was hanging out in this room room like just playing with toys or something
Door opens and it's just like she just got out of the shower, but only towel on her bottom
Yeah, so tits fully out what they don't they're huge
They're huge, but I've always I've fucking cool, but lately I've been thinking about it going like was that intentional fuck. Yeah, of course it is
Yeah, really everything's intentional women are pedophiles. Yeah, they're pedophiles bombs are pedophiles
Yeah, do you remember our biology teacher? Every mom ever is a pedophile. It's awesome. I love female pedophilia
And I've said it before and I'll say it again. Do our biology teacher
She would lean over your desk with her like tits out. Yeah, correct your homework. It was insane the fucking Egyptian
Yeah, what a bad bitch in your homework. It was insane. The fucking Egyptian?
Yeah.
What a bad bitch.
Her tits would be like.
In your face.
She was so hot.
She'd talk about like coming and stuff.
She pretended it was like a biology lesson
and all the kids are just jacking off.
One time she was like,
if you look at semen on her microscope and no boys,
I'm not accepting samples.
And we're like in awe.
That's a crazy thing to say.
I was like what?
That's not.
That's a crazy thing to say. That is like what? That's a crazy thing to say.
That is horny.
And then you'll notice the funniest thing is
they hired another teacher who was actually
just a young woman who was dressed normally,
totally dressed normally.
And like, but was just a attractive young woman
who was taking her job seriously.
And literally she opened a class one time
and literally told the entire class
she dresses like a fucking slut.
To the class I was like, oh my God, you really,
the competition's nuts.
Do you remember when all that art,
that wacky, kooky art teacher took everybody
into the gymnasium and showed us like how to do
like yoga and stretch?
Everyone had a hard on.
And she would tell us like to like close our eyes
and she would like move our legs and everyone in the class,
it was literally like you were like, all right,
she's gonna jack me off in the gymnasium right now. It was so hot
I remember or Keity my favorite guy went to school with he was so horny. He got married at 19
He kicked ass. He also graduated. He was the only guy in my high school class was married when he graduated
He was so fucking cool. I remember he was sitting next to me
He was laying next to me and I looked over and he like literally like, you know
You can hide a boner by like putting your knees up a little bit
Sure, like we were all doing the yoga thing and he like looked at me
He looked at me and he just like put his knees down
We had a teacher like that miss miss Duran who
Would do pilates the class like a RP
She was so she would do like stretches in front of us
She was in front of the gym,
and we were all just in gym shorts watching her stretch,
but she was doing stretches she knew we couldn't fucking do.
So she was just showing off, at one point she did like
the full pretzel porn star position.
She's like looking on her back, her legs are behind her head,
she goes, okay class, do as we do, and I'm like,
I'm rock hard right now, there's no way.
Everyone, all the kids run up to her on all fours, they're all, oh, oh, oh we do. And I'm like, I'm rock hard right now, there's no way. Everyone, all the kids run ups are on all fours.
They're all, oh, oh, oh.
Like it's a trot.
Try to her pussy, yeah.
A bunch of pigs to the trot, like, wee, wee.
Did you ever get close to getting molested?
Cause I think if you would've got molested,
you would've told us.
Yeah, I would've told you guys.
But I know there's, I mean, I don't know for a fact,
but we all know this kid fucked that teacher
But did anyone ever like give her think back and go like oh that was an attempt to molest me and I just no
No, no, no. No, I think I would have been like too
Horny or like maybe scared. I should be too scared. I'd run away from it
I don't know. I have no memory of anything like that. I just this just hit me like last week
It's not a full like getting molested or anything, but it was a very obvious like like basically like this girl wanted to molest me
I was camping with my friends when I was
My friend in his family like when I was 10 or 11 years old
And we're all around a campfire at night and the adults are all drinking
And we're just sitting around the campfire and this like lady who like was hot was like
Instead of my lap? Wow
How old was she?
I don't think that's that crazy
Well
In front of the adults
She was drunk though and
I was 10 or 11
But how old was she?
I bet she was like 35
Fuck yeah dude
That's the best part of getting molested by a hot woman as a kid is like you can have the fun
and then you get to send them to prison.
Yeah.
Yeah, I think I never talked to you again.
It's a great combo.
Yeah.
You go, ooh, I got mine and now one less woman on the streets.
One less woman.
One less woman.
I get a, I get a.
Lack her out.
I can jack off to this forever
and I got to put somebody in the box
So that's in my memory bank for the rest of my life. I had a great night and now you're in a cage
I'm gonna come visit you like a zoo animal, but I remember like she was like really drunk
And then I was sitting on her lap and I did it. Oh, yeah, I could have gone over there faster
Cartoon there's a puff of smoke. Yeah, I was like, holy shit,
I was about to ask you to sit on my lap.
I was already, I was already jacking off at like 10.
Yeah.
And then, but I remember-
Oh, we were all steady jacking at that time.
Oh yeah.
I remember sitting in her lap.
I remember that young.
I was sitting in her lap
and I remember kind of getting a boner.
And then, I think it just got too weird
where people were just like, what are you doing?
And to the lady. Right, right. And she was just like, okay, anyways got too weird where people were just like what are you doing? Into the lady and she was just like okay anyways and but I just was like that even hilarious if she she
She just used her mouth and just chewed it. She uses a gun to all the other adults.
What are you doing?
She's like, back up!
Back up!
Get the fuck away from me!
He's about to bust!
Back up!
He's about to bust.
He's about to bust.
Oh, that's hot, Joey.
I know.
That's so hot.
He goes, that's hot.
It is so hot.
Have you ever looked her up? Oh, that's hot Joey. I know.
That's hot.
It is so hot.
Have you ever looked her up?
I have no idea how to find her or any info.
Probably backs her new girlfriend.
She's in jail.
No, she was just at like the fire pit, like you know, you go to like rent a campsite.
Yeah, that's, oh man, by fire.
Wait, she didn't know you guys?
No.
Oh, I thought it was like your parents' friend.
Yeah, she was a devilish slut.
She was a devilish slut.
Whoa, that's so much crazier.
Shut up to the campsite like a witch in the night.
Yeah, so there was like a fire pit
that like other campsites shared,
and she was just there.
And then that, and then she saw me,
and she was like, oh, I'd like a piece of that.
Dude, it's like Hansel and Gretel.
And she was like touching me in a weird way
while I was sitting on her lap,
like my legs and sort of my ass. I would have played in a weird way while I was sitting on her lap. Yeah.
Like my legs and sort of my ass.
I would have played that and be like,
I would have looked at-
Sort of my ass.
Sort of my ass.
I would have looked at my bone and been like,
what, what is that?
Yeah.
What do we call that?
I would have seduced her in like a child web.
Like what do we, what is that?
That's a piece of wood in my pants.
What is that?
Is it, Is it warm?
Did it feel good when I touch it?
Can you get this little piss thing off me?
Can you remove this thing from me?
I make it go down.
I would've let her feel like it's not sexual.
Yeah.
I was trying to make her as comfortable as possible.
Yeah, I would've been like, please.
Shelly Scottie, shelly's like, let me get you a drink.
You're like, 11.
Please, please help me.
Please help me remove this thing.
I got cock blocked, actually,
now that I think about it.
You did, by those fucking adults.
It was fucking adults trying to protect you.
No, it was probably some drunken adults
that wanted to fuck her,
but they're like,
why does she wanna fuck a little 10-year-old?
Yeah, dude, actually, I saw that in real time happen
at an adult party I went to, where it was a my mom's for I feel bad saying this but uh
She got into a fight with her boyfriend and she was like, you know 48 or something. Yeah. No, no, no my mom's friend
She kind of her boyfriend and like a big bad nasty fight like a screaming fight
He stormed out came back and by then she was like fully trying to fuck this like older kid
Who was like 17?
But he comes back the boyfriend was back and she's sitting on his lap. Oh my god. He's a kid. He's 17
That's crazy. And he tried to fight this kid like it was almost a fight between that's some lion pride shit
That's some Savannah. Yeah, and this kid John
Some lion pride shit that's some savannah. Yeah, and this is John. So I was like
I was like 15 he must have been 17 and this dude comes back being like what the fuck get off my girl He tried swinging on me goes. Yo, buddy, try fighting me. I'm a kid
Fight me some I thought you girl wanna fuck me like that's a you problem, man
That's a you problem, man
Holy It was nuts you're dating a pedophile. Yeah, literally it was the coolest thing I've ever
Man, so many regrets I have as a kid. I wish the teacher fucked me. I wish a female
Oh god, and I as a kid. I also am so regretful. I never fucked the kid
Last I had one chance. Yeah, Never once fucked the kid. Never, never happened.
I reflect constantly.
I'm constantly reflecting on how much
I dropped the fucking ball.
Did I drop the ball with so many kids as a kid?
I had one chance to fuck a kid.
You have one fucking chance in this world.
All the kids out there, fuck kids.
Dude, but for real, I always reflect.
I'm like, you know that move when girls would steal your hat?
Yeah.
And I would get livid.
Yeah.
I'd be like, give me my fucking hat back.
And I'm like, oh, she just wanted it to.
It's flirting.
Yeah.
She's flirting.
I think about that like once a day and I'm like,
you fucking idiot.
I blew a lot of chances just being a fucking retard. Yeah. Yeah buddies are like giving facials at like fucking 15
I know I used to hear those stories and so great. I got I got blowjobs really young and stuff
But I also just still think about a million chances where I could have gotten so many more. Yeah. Yeah, yeah
overt where I could have gotten so many more. Yeah. Yeah. Just like overt attempts of like,
oh damn, this chick is like a slutty, horny lady.
At the time, just nothing.
Just fuck, I'm just such a dumb ass.
I'm like, oh, I think she just like wants to study
like in a van in the woods that you just invited me to.
I sucked ass.
We had an actual pedophile at my middle school.
Woman? No, man. No, boo. Oh, that sucks pedophile at my middle school. Woman?
No, man.
No, boo.
Oh, that sucks.
Yeah, he got arrested.
They're bad.
Good.
They are bad.
I don't like them.
No, they suck ass.
What did he do?
Mr. Huell.
What did he do?
It was Huellhouser.
It was California's kids.
Hey, I'm your avocado.
It's Avocado.
I'm Huellhouser.
Today we're fucking a kid
in beautiful Southern California.
Where it's legal.
Pink saw dogs, remind you of anything kids.
I'm Hule Howser.
We're in Nickelodeon studio.
So what'd this guy do?
He like, hey fuck kids.
Dude, so, well I don't think he ever got that far.
Honestly.
What'd this pedophile do?
I don't think he ever got that far,
but it also happened,
we knew the whole time we were middle schooled
and he got arrested when I graduated high school,
so it was years later.
But I know it's so funny, because looking back,
I mean, I've known my wife since middle school,
but Josh has also, and Josh would always make fun of,
well not make fun of, but poke fun,
talking about how Mr. Huell would take photos of her ass.
Like if she was bent over helping another student
with like, you know, work or whatever in this math class,
he would take photos on his like little shitty
Nokia phone and it was always like,
oh bullshit Josh, fuck you, he he he.
Then he gets busted.
Yeah.
Hard drive full of those exact photos.
Yeah.
Like girls in his class bent over him
like taking like upskirt photos.
Jesus Christ.
So you know, my wife might be a piece of evidence.
What they do with him, they made him a member of Congress.
Yeah.
That's what they do.
Yeah.
He's actually running for president.
He works at APAC right now.
Hot damn, man.
Yeah, then he joined SRLA, which is Students Run LA,
all the marathon kids.
And it was him and this guy, this other teacher.
These other guys, Mr. Moss would just run shirtless
with the chinis, like middle schoolers.
I'm like, that's not okay.
Running shirtless?
He's just ripped and like, he clearly.
Yeah, why not?
I don't know, I always get a weird vibe from him
and his best friend got arrested for pedophilia.
Oh, it was his best, okay.
I'm like, these two guys ran the fucking running class
and this guy's shirtless with kids all the time.
And I don't know, man. My anti-cross country teacher that was also accused Okay, like these two guys ran the fucking running class and this guy's shirtless with kids all the time. Yeah
My antacross country teacher that was also accused or the people would suspect that he was a pedophile and he did that too
shirtless running I think his comments of maybe they're unfairly judged by that but I
But also that is I just think I just think I just think you're in school This is a school program. You wouldn't take your shirt off as a teacher
I don't care if you're running or not,
just wear like a fucking.
Yeah, no, actually, no, I agree with that.
Yeah, wear some dry fit clothing, I don't fucking know.
Our cross country teacher would wear a shirt
to the point where like his nipples would fucking bleed.
Fine, good, protect the kids.
Male pedophiles, by the way, belong in jail.
Male pedophiles, male pedophiles.
Put them away.
Shoot them in the fucking head.
Women pedophiles, let them have their fun
and then send them away.
Absolutely.
But then still let the victim come
and have some conjugal visits.
Let them have their fun, then let us send them away.
Yes, yes.
I do think that, I mean, and maybe if I were the victim,
maybe if one of these girls closed the deal on me,
maybe that lady at the campsite gets me back into a tent.
Yeah, maybe if she figured it out. Hey, you hide the kid, dumb bitch.
Yeah, you corner him in the woods.
Take the kid behind something. You don't do it in front of all the other adults that are
gonna snitch and rat who are jealous.
But I'm saying maybe-
Who are jealous.
Joey walking out of a tent at 11 years old smoking a cigarette.
Yeah.
Jealous.
Jewelled hair.
I'm telling like, hey, a smoking jack on. Jealous, disheveled hair. I'm telling like, hey you fucking virgins.
Hey you incels at the campfire.
You brought this bitch out to the world.
You walk out, you're just so relaxed and loose
and you immediately dial 911.
What are you guys up to?
Hello 911, yeah this bitch gave me the best pussy
of my entire fucking life.
But I still wanna press charges.
Cause who could resist the thrill
of locking somebody in a cage?
That's really what it's all about.
That's what it's all about.
That's what it's all about, man.
It's the two, it's getting a nut off.
That's life's number one greatest pleasure.
Got your nut off.
Close number two, locking somebody in a cage.
And then you tell that woman.
You tell that woman.
Yeah.
Nut and power.
Yeah.
You tell that woman that jacked you off.
You go, I hope you enjoy slop
Hope you enjoy the three meals of white bread. Hope you fucking enjoy grilled cheese made on a fucking on the radiator
I'm zipping my pants up and I go well, I mean Jews I go. Okay. Yeah, thanks. Thanks for that
I go. Hope you like two hots in a cot because you're going away
The kid that keeps using himself as bait.
But he goes the full mile just rolling over on her
and then be like, hope you like toilet wine.
Hope you like Bruno and 30 minutes of TV a day,
you dumb bitch.
Enjoy Rikers.
That was hot.
They all go to Rikers.
They all go to Rikers.
I'll go to New York City. Enjoy Rikers
Hope you're not in sub like one bitch
Man all right that was crazy how we had that long of a bit just on just about her face
Look at that. She's a better father. She fucks her son's. She fucks that dog.
She fucks that dog and her son's friends.
She has sex with women I think.
She's a dyke?
She looks like a dyke.
Well her dog's name is Sushi.
That's a gay woman.
Mmhmm.
And that's the gay slide.
This is my pug, Clit.
Hahaha. Meet my pug, Clit. That's like a lesbian novel.
Meet my pug clit.
It's like one of those books Rob Nessanza is trying to ban from the library.
Hoorah.
What else we got, Debbie Costa?
Well this is kind of funny.
I don't really know what's going on here.
This was at the Phoenix Suns.
They were eliminated from the NBA playoffs a few weeks ago,
but there was this,
somebody caught this on footage in the middle of the game.
This guy doing this,
like this guy having a full blown freak out.
And I don't, let's all decide
what do you think is happening here.
Okay.
I love him!
I love him!
I love him!
I love him!
I love him! I love him! I love him! I love him!
I love him!
I love him!
Whoa.
Sorry, it's really deep and heavy probably.
I just think it's funny though.
Well it's not that deep and heavy.
It's a thing, I love him.
No, it's probably about the kids.
She's taking the kids, she took them to a son's game.
Yeah.
Let me take my sunburned, retarded husband,
this Arizona dip shit to the son's game. She's taking the kids away
She's gonna take she's gonna take the kids. That's so sad
This poor fucking guy. That was my immediate thought too, but I would like to see more before I
Passes any passes out. Oh, he's on massive. He's on a lot. Yeah, this isn't nobody cares about their kids that much
Have they just lost in this moment? What's the middle of the game? It's 3230. That's not a my boys lost
Imagine you're like buddy, they can't sign with a fourth yet
Save that for the fourth Jesus Is that fucking real? Yeah! Keep going!
Fuck yes!
My dad's gonna figure it out!
Oh he's not
Yeah he's not
Fuck yes my dad's gonna figure it out
Oh she looks like, look she's got meth mouth
She's got slack jawed meth mouth
She looks like a Republican Senator too
Oh good call John, she does have meth mouth
Slack jawed's meth mouth They'reapjaw, it's meth mouth.
Yeah.
Okay, they're on meth, they're swingers,
they do crazy shit.
They got good tickets for meth heads.
But I think they're those people that do cocaine mostly
and occasionally switch to meth.
They got good fucking things.
There are functional meth heads, what city is this?
It's Phoenix.
Oh, jeez, are you kidding?
Come on now, yeah.
That's meth, and there are a ton of people
that have like good fucking blue collar jobsar jobs where they they can easily afford meth
And get tickets like that. Yeah, come on. Meth kicks ass dude. His dad's gonna figure it out
I think maybe he just got some incredible news about his dad
Yeah, maybe then she gets on the ground and she goes your dad says something about the dad. Maybe I think I love him is about
His dad. Yeah. Oh, I love him. I love, oh, maybe he found out
that his dad left him a ton of money.
Yeah.
Or, or.
He's throwing tea by all the meth.
Who knows?
Yeah, I don't know.
Meth is so great.
It's like, it's white people's version of crack, basically.
And it makes them funny.
It's kind of like you just, you can,
you snort this thing or what you snorted, right?
You smoke it.
You smoke it.
You can snort it too.
You smoke it, snort it.
You turn into fucking Robin Williams.
What an amazing drug. Just doing phrase like, snort it. You turn into fucking Robin Williams.
What an amazing drug. Just doing phrase slash here. Oh my god. I love him. I love him.
He's climbing up the stands. This is amazing. That's like... What the fuck are we doing here? What the fuck are we doing here? What the fuck are we doing here?
Oh my god!
That's math. You know what that is?
That's math plus like mushrooms.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah, now he's on the peyote kicked in.
We're all just fucking bags of flesh on a rock
flying through space!
We're flying through space! We're flying just fucking bags of flesh on a rock flying through space!
We're flying through space!
He said Carl Sagan quotes.
Hello, make-a-fly!
I don't know, that guy is fucked up.
That kicked ass. I love freakouts
God bless are there any comments that they give you gotta escort it out right the I don't know the Twitter comments aren't loading
I'm sure all the comments are just like man. My man's down bad. Hey, bro. That boy some milk my man's down bad
Get that boy some
I've been watching a lot of like really terrible music lately. There's this whole reddit for
Crappy music and this popped up. This is very funny to me. Wait, I don't know
You can't like expand videos and read it for some reason
That's silly
Check this out. This is very funny to me They my motherfuckin' rap, say, say RIP, RIP, RIP, RIP, RIP
They my motherfuckin' say
They're all in a parking lot too, like they're waiting to abort themselves
They look like they're at an abortion clinic
But they go, can you just kill me?
Hey, remember those kids in cages?
This is where they are now.
Do you guys do like late term abortions
like for 33 year olds?
He has no front teeth, dude.
Yeah.
Have you heard of a-
RIP BIT, HARD OUT 105 BIT.
It kind of shows like if you make music like this,
you don't need to make any sense really.
It still kind of sounds like something.
Words are secondary. Have you heard of the artist you know
miles no you know miles he's like a joke rapper I don't know if he I don't know
how serious he's been he makes me laugh so fucking hard can we watch him I think
you can yeah just look up you know miles you like I think it's why you know
You know miles you know miles, Indiana Jones, that's one Martin Luther King is a good one
Other very short Yeah. I'm scared of things we come from now. Where is this?
Is that Chicago?
I think it's Detroit.
Okay.
Bitch I'm in the field, nigga call me Indiana Jones!
So like, soldier boy, they make- HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HA HA HAHAHA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahah I was burning This nigga really think he in Indiana He not Indiana Jones This nigga thought he bought a Beagle
That nigga bought a Duh
Tried to fit in a skinny hole
When my dumb ass get stank
Tried to buy a BMW
But I just bought a random truck
She keep calling my phone
I'm like damn girl what the fuck
Stop blowing a taco bell
Why the fuck they have my stuff hurting
This girl explore her number
I bought her a Birkin
My mama mad because she had home
Her pockets hurting
If you don't give up on rapping
I swear one day it's gonna work me
You gotta find the Martin Luther King song that is he always said there's a 15 year old black kid out on train That's funnier than any comedian ever met in your life
And you know miles if you're ever in Los Angeles, we'd love to have you
We'd love to have you
Three dollars
It's not pop I sure
Shout out Martin Luther King that nigga had a drink Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeee eeeeee eeeeee eeeeee eeeeee eeeeee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, And Rosa Parks, I feel like we made it out the park But it don't matter because of Martin Luther King
That nigga had a dream, fuck do you mean
That nigga had a dream, then I started rapping so that's what I did
Shout out Martin Luther King, that nigga had a dream
Fuck do you mean, that nigga had a dream, fuck do you mean? That nigga had a dream, Martin Luther King.
It's incredible.
It's great.
I love parody rap, too.
It's lovely.
Fucking incredible.
One of my biggest, some of my most embarrassing,
I think I've talked to this before,
but back when I was like 19, 20,
didn't really know what I was doing.
And I loved hip hop and stuff,
but I was like, I can't I can't wait. You tried rapping?
I tried being, I made some like bad,
but like parody song, rap songs.
Yeah, my friends did them?
We did that too.
There's somewhere on a hard drive somewhere.
I'll find them one day and I'll put myself on the cross.
That's crazy.
Oh man.
It could be like an ONA thing where we all make fun
of how embarrassing they are about it.
Some of them might be okay actually.
I mean, they were just, yeah. I did the same thing with Vincent, but they were all they are about what you're doing. Some of them might be okay actually, I mean they were just... yeah.
I did the same thing with Vincent, but they were all like songs about fucking someone's dad.
Yeah.
It was very funny.
I did a whole song where it's like Kendrick's lookout for detox,
but it was me talking about being a sign holder and how I am a huge loser.
Alright, that's joking enough.
Yeah, it was jokey enough.
Yeah, yeah.
But then there was a couple where I was like, maybe I could do this shit.
And I made like, I tried writing like a horror core thing. Yeah, but then there was a couple where I was like, maybe I could do this Like I tried writing like a horror core thing. Yeah brutal Connors were all about killing Kane
You had to do something like killing. Yeah. Yeah, I killed
I love you know miles, you know, if you if you or anyone, you know
Miles you know if you if you or anyone you know
Listen to hate
Tell you all about us. I actually didn't know I was doing that that just came out. It was very natural I was just off the dome. You can't even help it off the
Man I guess should we go to the patreon absolutely yeah, I got some good shit for the page
All right folks we love you so much. They can't even say it. Oh, yeah, I live left love my show Junete
I'll have the ticket link soon, but yeah, please come to that
Yeah, are you gonna do again put a little more effort into this one? Yeah, I am okay
Last one was pretty rough. I'm pretty embarrassed. I don't want to talk about what happened last month
But if you were there, you know, yeah, let's just say that'll never happen again. Hmm. John will be there
I'm gonna be there
All right. All right. Love you. Bye. Bye. Love you guys. Good day