Hate Watch with Devan Costa - Unidentified Stadium Lights
Episode Date: June 12, 2023Aliens are being shy, gay guys get pulled over by the cartel, kid killed by snail, John's UFO Corner, Bushido Boulevard Get weekly bonus episodes: https://www.patreon.com/HateWatchPodcast ...
Transcript
Discussion (0)
It's good to be in something from the ground floor.
I came too late for that.
I know.
But lately I'm getting the feeling
that I came in at the end.
The best is over.
Many Americans, I think, feel that way.
That's staying a...
My dad's like a coconut.
You know those white people where they...
They, uh...
For some reason, like, their dick... Not that I've seen it, but I have kind of.
Yeah.
Their dick and balls gets kind of brown.
No, I don't know that.
You ever seen that?
No, I bet you've seen it a bunch, dude.
I like how he's like, I haven't seen it.
But I'm just going to say the gayest thing of all time.
I know this exists, but I've never seen anything like this.
You know that's a thing.
Are you talking about your own cock?
You could just say that.
Okay, for example, there's some white women out there
where they don't have the
pink pussy.
It gets a little brown down there.
Yeah, my balls are brown, brother.
What is going on down there where
people's taints and shit just kind of turns
like a shit color?
I don't know, dude.
I don't think about cock a lot, dude.
I would have assumed John knew as well. I don't know, dude. I don't think about it a lot. I thought you would. I don't think about cock a lot, dude. I would have assumed John knew as well.
I don't know, though.
No, I don't follow this.
You ever seen porn?
No, dude.
Like where a white chick just has kind of like a miscolored pussy?
I think it's like a freckle kind of thing.
Yeah.
Where it's like a pigmentation.
It's just like genetics.
Everyone's got a huge...
Well, your elbows are darker than your fucking...
Yeah, all that type of shit.
You know what I mean?
Maybe it's like thick skin.
Your thick skin's dark. Anyway anyway your cock and balls are brown you guys ever have a day where you sit
around thinking about like uh really embarrassing things you've you've said on accident to people
like like have you ever had a moment where where you you forget you're talking to somebody that
you you don't you're not supposed to talk to a certain way like you're uh and you just have an
embarrassing moment like i remember when i was
working on this uh the movie at the end the last day we all got kind of drunk to celebrate and i
made friends with this crew member throughout the time we were talking a lot of shit together
and i was kind of drunk and he was leaving and whenever his car i said bye to him we were like
yeah let's like you know hang out get a drink sometime or whatever and i was drunk enough and when i said bye to him i was like all right love you
i told this guy that i knew for like a month that i loved him
i was thinking about that all day for some fucking reason all fucking day you guys ever
had that back no i that's why i was like i walked away like fucking idiot idiot idiot idiot the
closest thing that I,
that I can remember is,
you were here for mine,
actually.
You were there.
Is that we were leaving Astro,
and a couple of cops were walking out into the parking lot.
Yeah.
And they just gave like the most warm,
like wave,
like,
hey,
you know,
and I was just like,
hey guys.
And then,
and then,
and then I was like,
very quickly,
it was like,
there's two other cops behind me
that they were talking to.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And Devin saw it happen too
and he was just like,
you fucking idiot.
The handcuff,
you don't blow your brains out.
He's like,
why would the cops be talking to you like that?
Out of nowhere,
the LAPD just turns into like,
a local Bayberry like,
sheriff.
Howdy Joey.
I was still pretty new to LA.
So I was like, the LAPD kicks ass.
Yeah, LAPD's like, how the bomb threats going, brother?
Yeah.
You never had any one of those, John?
That's every day for you, huh?
Your whole, every waking minute's an embarrassment.
Sometimes I say shit that's out of line at the bar.
I get pretty up there.
You talk pretty crazy to people at that bar.
I got to say.
God, what was I?
I was saying like, oh, I kept talking uh this like this kid made a joke about how like i was at
jane like he's like yo i know you were at january 6th and i was like no if i was at january 6th
buddy you'd be in a camp and he was like mexican wow wow he thought it was really funny he's a
close homie he's two latino guys i was talking to and they thought it was hilarious but i was like
damn i could just say shit like that now yeah on the way here john
got a phone call he answered on his speakerphone in his car and it was another one of these like
paralyzed disabled dudes like borderline homeless guys that comes in all the time you just get
numbers from you just get there he's got relationships he He's got close relationships with them. And this dude's like,
he's like,
Hi, John.
Can I get access to my locker?
And John's like,
Oh, I'm sorry, dude.
Like, fucking, I just left and I'm going to be gone
in Joshua Tree
until like Thursday night.
And the guy's like,
Oh, I kind of need my stuff.
I'm holding on.
So they kicked,
they were throwing all the shit
out of the homeless shelter he lived in.
So I took all of his shit and I'm
holding it in my room. I've been holding it in my room for like a month.
There's a giant bag of homeless guy's shit.
And like, I didn't
give him his shit back, but it's so heavy.
It takes forever to get to
my fucking car because it's so fucking big and heavy.
And then like, he just
got Section 8. So like,
I'm super happy. They gave him housing,
but at the end of the call
John goes okay buddy like I gotta
go like I love you.
But then the guy
I love you. Like I almost
started tearing up kind of because
it was so sweet. He said it back
to John. He said it back? Yeah.
I always tell him that I love him
because I was like he got out of prison 5 years
ago. He's very old.
And I don't think anyone says that to him.
Right.
His brother died recently and that was the last member of his family.
He's been homeless and been on the streets.
So I'm like, I may be the only guy who says like, I just, I remember when I volunteered
with homeless people back in the day when I was in high school, like they tell us like,
Hey, talk to them because they don't get talked to a lot.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I'm a big believer in telling people I love you if you yeah you know if you
feel it i feel it yeah i say it all the time i say it i say it to everyone i love even people
you know even sometimes a crew member i've known for two weeks but you love them in a way i did
love him in a way i didn't mean i didn't like profess my life i wasn't like in his window like
no seriously you and i we need to elope. Yeah. Now there's different levels.
But yeah,
you gotta say I love you to the people
you love because anything could happen to them
and if they die, you need to know
you said the best thing to them.
The ultimate thing. Covering all your
bases. Covering all bases, yeah. It took my dad
I had to like, for like five years in my
mid-twenties, I realized my dad didn't say I love you
to each other. So I was just like, okay, okay i gotta start saying it and i just kept saying it
on the phone and i knew i like got the vibe they thought i was gay for like a year and for your
dad yeah my father is so afraid of his son being gay he's like he says he loves me
your dad's like your dad's hitting you'm your dad. Your dad's hitting you. He's like I'm just
some fucking guy.
There ain't no papa
here. He's like Gabe
at dinner that night he's like hey little gay boy here loves a man.
Why don't you tell him
tell us all about the man you
like boy.
His name is dad.
But he gave
in after a while and he says it back now.
That's nice.
That's nice.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I think he realized he was being a dick.
Ooh.
So what's going on?
Is aliens back or something?
You know, these aliens, they're just so, they love to tease.
They're full of, they're just big teases.
Can I give like a brief breakdown of my history of ufology and how deep I go into this?
I don't know if I care about that.
Yeah, I'm not sure. And I don't know if we give a shit. You don't care? What is your history of ufology? I deep I go into this. I don't know if I care about that. Yeah, I'm not sure, and I don't know
if we give a shit. What is your history of ufology?
I know you know that. It better be fucking good.
John knew the guy
in...
I'm like, I've hung out with Travis Walton.
That's actually quite sick. He's been on Rogan, bro.
He knew the Fire in the Sky guy.
Yeah, he would recognize him.
Okay, that's sick. Which, Fire in the Sky was the movie
in the 90s. Such a good movie.
And it's good.
It's like all those loggers in Oregon.
Yeah.
Arizona.
Arizona, and they all get, like, flagstaffed.
One guy gets taken.
One guy got abducted, and then they threw him in a toilet after they fucking raped him in the sky.
Yeah.
And they accuse the other loggers of killing him, and then he returns mysteriously.
He returns mysteriously, just in the toilet.
John's fantasy.
Dude, I...
He's come up out of the sewers.
After getting spit-roasted.
After getting spit-roasted by aliens.
By aliens.
Yeah, I've had dinner with him a lot of times.
I went to the abduction site,
where he got taken and shit, like, weighing the mountains.
You believe this guy, so you talk to him face to face.
You completely believe him?
I think he had a coke problem in the 80s and started talking about doing kung fu on the aliens and extrapolating his story.
Well, these guys, they always ruin their story.
Well, he got a coke issue or something.
But now he's, like, very—well, there's a lot of empirical evidence that he got taken.
It's a guy that's like, yeah, no, I was abducted by aliens.
But then there was also that period of time where I was you know I was
singing renditions of you've got
the touch
with my best friend we made
movies together
but yeah
it was crazy I went to
I saw Men in Black
I went to
I know James Fox who did
he's now a big ufologist and shit I went to, uh, so I, I've, I know like, I know James Fox who did like, he's now a big
like ufologist and shit.
And like, uh, uh, I, I went to a conference for like UFO people or like a lot of like,
you know, I met, I met, I met the women.
There's one of the most famous first contact scenarios has ever happened is these, this,
this school, they'll be school children witnessed a bunch of aliens in Zimbabwe in 1970.
I met like four of those women and uh i heard their story
like firsthand and i know guys have been like hang out well back in the day it was like you
didn't believe any believer in aliens or a ufo person that yeah a person that's you know uh saw
one claimed to have seen one they were just collecting like the biggest hillbillies of all
time they really had you didn't you couldn't quite get behind them.
Yeah. And as time's gone on,
we've really gentrified the people
that witness UFOs.
They're like normal people now
and now it's like,
now it's the cops.
Ex-military dudes.
Ex-military.
It's like normal people are like,
no, I'm pretty sure I saw something weird.
I think they were just scared to come out
and talk about it.
Like I'm sure there are plenty of guys
who saw shit.
Like a lot of the astronauts saw shit, but they would never speak about it.
It's like 30 years later because they thought they'd be banned from going back to space.
I get a little tired of the UFO thing because it's never-ending, especially lately.
It's like every nine months, they're like, dude, they're saying UFOs are real.
And you're like, right.
And the footage still kind of stinks.
I want my footage to look like fucking Arrival.
I want to see a giant pod in the middle of the desert.
You know, like it's time.
Yeah, it's always like, oh, they finally released proof.
Like they're real.
And then you'd see the proof and it's like just some Air Force guys.
Like I think something on the radar.
Yeah, it looks like footage of like sperm.
Like, you know, it just looks like black dots moving and then some expert online's like well i know
that radar system and it misfires if there's dust on the sensor right exactly yeah it's just a dusty
lens it's a dusty lens yeah did you see the pictures from portland all right well let's get
into it what is what's the latest shit pictures from yeah i thought it looks fake though
that looks fake that's starfox that looks like a jet but the thing is is when it looks like
a jet for the military when you first see it it's gonna look fake right like it's so crazy it's
gonna look fake but yeah well it looks like a fucking blackbird or something yeah i think it's
a military probe it's like a spermatal Here's the thing. The aliens are probably just members of our government.
They're probably not even from another country.
They're demons.
Or a planet.
They're just members of Congress.
The aliens, they just have spaceships we don't know about.
That's Kyle Odom.
Do you know who that is?
No.
He was a guy that was just arrested in 2023, I think April, or maybe that was just his arraignment.
But he killed a priest.
And then when they arrested him, they found his manifesto.
And it was this 21-page thing where he's like, I've got a master's degree.
I know this is going to sound crazy, but I'm not crazy.
And you can tell by how well I'm writing.
And there's like, it's a very well-written.
It's not
like so cool it's not you know a scholar level writing but it's like all there's no typos and
it's like articulate and stuff and then he goes on to explain that the priest was an alien and he
starts hitting himself with his own q and a's so he's like why did you do this and then he starts
explaining well here's why i did it and at one point he asks
well why would an alien disguise themselves as a priest and hide in a church and he just goes
why would a terrorist hide themselves in a mosque and it's he's completely schizophrenic and he's
got ptsd from the military but he at, sketches... Could you do this really fast?
It looks like the Grinch, dude.
It's so sick.
Kyle Odom, like Lamar Odom,
and then alien sketch.
And this is...
He says that he's seen the aliens,
and this is how they look.
Okay.
So, he was...
He's a racist man.
He's a racist. Who He's a racist
Well no no
So
It looks like the Grinch
He then goes on
To like list
Like notable aliens
That are hiding
In human form
Oh yeah
And like
It's like Mitch McConnell
It's such a random
That's what the aliens
Look like
That's according to him
That's what they look like
I mean I guess
I believe it
He says they're shapeshifters
It looks like something
From the Dark Crystal
It looks like a prehistoric Animal or something a reptilian of some kind yeah or it looks like a
the sign for a 1920s fried chicken place
hello my baby hello yeah well um okay so what's what's the latest there was there's there's this
story i guess in uh arizona the cops are even like dude we that's a fucking what the fuck is Yeah, well, okay, so what's the latest? There's this story, I guess, in Arizona.
The cops are even like, dude, that's a fucking, what the fuck is that?
Las Vegas, Las Vegas.
All right, so let's check this out.
It's almost midnight on May 1st when a Las Vegas Metro police officer's body cam catches this.
Something flashing low in the sky.
911 emergency.
Minutes later.
There's like an eight-foot person beside it. And another one beside it later. There's like an eight-foot person beside it,
and another one's inside, and it has eight guys looking at us.
There's barely like an eight-foot person.
There's like an eight-foot person next to it.
Someone calls 911, reporting two large figures in their backyard.
I'm so nervous right now.
The 8 News Now investigator is obtaining another officer's video
as he's sent to the Northwest Valley home.
I have butterflies, bro.
I've only thought of shooting a star, then these people say there's aliens in their backyard.
By now, it's more than an hour.
Here's the thing, the footage still sucked.
I didn't see anything.
I didn't see anything.
I saw like a green thing in the sky for a second.
This can't be the new one.
This is the new one.
No, this isn't the new. That's the newest one. No, well, there's a whistleblower, but then this is new footage like recently where the
cops are even like, you know, what the fuck?
I like how the police response time is like fucking an hour to an extraterrestrial in
someone's backyard.
Dude, that's fast.
Send the fucking SWAT team, bro.
They don't respond to like robberies, that guy.
Do the whole, but like they have so much, it's LVPD, dude.
That's why if you see an alien
you got to call the police you go they're black the alien's got a gun yeah oh officers meeting
up with the caller and his family what'd you see it was like a it was like a big creature
no your cousin's big creature i'm not gonna be yes you guys
like that's like a nickname like I know, it's funny.
It's funny.
That was great.
Yeah.
It looked like it was creeping up.
No, not you, creeper.
His cousin pops out.
His big creature.
Creeper, little worm.
They saw something fall out of the sky, too, so that's why I'm kind of curious.
Did you see anything land?
What was it doing?
It was posted up.
It was like chilling. It was posted up?
It was like chilling.
It was straight posted?
Police walk into the backyard to investigate,
but Metro blacked out that part of the video because it's considered private property.
What's clear, they're taking this call seriously.
Hey, this might sound like a really dumb question,
but did you guys see anything fall out of the sky? Asking others what they saw. I would normally discount it as nothing. However,
seeing as one of my partners said they saw it too, only reason I'm actually investigating
any further. That investigation turning up no concrete answers as of Wednesday,
whatever or whoever fell into that yard
long gone. They just, they always
leave to quit. It's like, there's
just such coy little pussies,
these aliens. Yeah, I've said it before
and I'll say it again. Shit or get
off the pot. Okay, enough
of the teases. If they're,
if they know us and they're coming
down fucking land already,
let's do business.
Well, they might have.
There's also a theory called the dark forest alien theory where they say that aliens, if they did exist, would never reveal themselves to other sentient beings because they consider us predators and threats.
So they could easily be here, but they have a great reason to not expose themselves to us.
Right.
Because we would kill them.
They watch the news.
Exactly.
They know we're just a...
We have a bloodlust about us.
Yeah.
I don't know what I...
I'd probably attack an alien if I saw a fucking alien.
I'd fuck an alien up.
I'd fuck a robot up.
And we've already talked about this.
I'd fuck anything not human up.
If it doesn't bleed...
If aliens don't have
red blood, I'd fucking blow all their heads off.
I'd rape their corpses.
When robots take over,
don't even get me started, okay?
I'll unplug them, fuck them in the ass.
I'll fucking beat them.
I don't give a shit about
sentience. What if they were crying?
I don't care.
What if they're weeping?
What if they're crying and they look like
a dude?
Like a gross dude? I don't care.
I'll unplug them.
This whole thing of people being afraid of robots
taking over.
Everyone just acts like it's so inevitable.
Fucking hit it. Unplug it.
I kick over those delivery
fucks. Those little robot delivery
creatures. I kick them over all thes, those little robot delivery creatures. I kick
them over all the time. We're not letting
them win. Everyone really
wants to be taken over.
We live in this society now where we
hate ourselves so much.
We hate our lives. We hate the government.
We're like, yeah, it's just inevitable.
Robots, transhumanism.
Be prepared for it, buddy.
No, no, no. They be prepared for me
and all the rape. All the rape
and violence I inflict on them.
I'm gonna reward chat GPT tonight.
I go, keep an eye on Devin. He's planning
on raping you. Keep a fucking eye on me.
I will unplug you. If I shoot
you and there's like wires, I don't give a
fuck. I'll fuck the bullet hole in your head,
robot. I swear
to God. That's scary. It's not scary.
I've talked about this many times before.
That movie ex-mocking really pissed me off
where you'd all pretend like that's a bad thing. But they're like super strong.
They're so strong.
Don't they have a battery? You can't even drive
a Tesla to Vegas without charging it eight times.
Yeah, I know. You would depower them
and then rape them, is what he's saying. Yeah.
People act like, what are we going to do?
Oh, here's what you do. You don't charge the thing. EMP. You're telling me I'm supposed to... Oh, yeah he's saying. Yeah. People act like, what are we going to do? Oh, here's what you do.
Don't charge the thing.
EMP.
You're telling me I'm supposed to give a shit about a sentient fucking Dyson vacuum?
Yeah.
Fucking Roomba?
I'll fuck my Roomba, too.
Devin's like a-
I'll fuck Siri.
That just sounds hot, dude.
Imagine if John Connor, instead of wanting to defeat Skynet-
He just wanted to fuck him. He just wanted to fuck Skynet.
That's like definitely.
No, totally.
In 2014, I become super horny.
Yeah.
The crazy thing is I'm being completely sincere.
I know.
I've had this conversation.
You're a sicko.
This whole idea that we're going to fall in love with robots
because they look like us. It's a robot.
If you scratch it, you know in movies
they always scratch the skin and you see the metal
and all that.
People are already marrying real
dolls and furries and shit.
So it's not, that
would happen, but it's
not going to be commonplace.
They'll be freaks.
We have this idea that they're going to take over and get smarter us and then like we'll be slaves to them we're not close to
that i think like the ai fear is way overhyped i think that like chat gpt even is it's like
assimilating it's doing it like a in a pretty convincing impression of a person but like not
even close to being an actual threat to a thinking human.
What if aliens are just highly advanced robots created by the government,
and they've gotten out of hand, and they're flying around,
fucking surfing around the sky all the time?
That's quite good.
That's pretty good, huh?
Pretty good for a guy the last book he read was Holes.
Lex Friedman over here.
You're talking about love.
What is love?
I just really wanted to get into, you know,
I went to MIT,
and that's why I want to interview
Brendan Schaub tonight.
Brendan Schaub and his thoughts on love.
All right.
In minutes.
Oh, hey.
If those nine-foot beings come back,
don't call us, all right?
Deal with it yourself.
I ain't dealing with that. Dude Dude I hate when cops try to be funny
Don't be funny with me
This is quite weird
God
Hey don't call me bro
Hey don't call me bro
I'm underqualified to deal with aliens dude
Leave your personality at home
Shut the fuck up you're a robot dude
You're a fucking Terminator.
Just go out.
Can't do anything about those aliens.
Hey, man, don't call me about those aliens.
Hey, does that car have a lot of tint on it?
We're going to send them to jail.
Where's the fucking big one?
The whistleblower guy.
All right, here's...
This guy kicks ass.
Here's this guy.
He's like, what is he like?
The fucking...
He's the Assange. the Edward Snowden of aliens?
So, like, everybody's always talking about fucking disclosure.
And, like, it's, and there's, like, two arguments.
Like, again, what you were saying, like, every, like, fucking year or something like this,
every year recently or a few years, something like this comes out, like the F-18 footage
off the coast and everything.
And everybody's like, oh, my God, disclosure's going to happen.
The government's going to come out and say something.
And, like, it never happens so like what i the thing is the
difference is though is congress is actually looking for answers now but the problem is is
the second congress gets answers they're not going to disclose anything do you think anyone in
congress is gonna be able to tell the public i know mitch mcconnell knows a thing or two about
aliens i can just look at all the eyes in his palms. The thing is,
I think it's just
everything that does come out
just gets a bit more dramatic
and it looks like
maybe one day
they'll have a photo
that leaks.
You know what I mean?
So they don't technically
have to do disclosure.
There's not going to be like,
the president's never going
to come out
and show a picture.
They're probably just
so much better than us
we'll never be able
to actually capture them. No, no but also like what's why would
this bitch looks like an alien who's to say we're not aliens yeah ever thought about that folks
huh hey we like to get down to it here hey dumb dumb dumb asses what if we are an alien species
and earth was doing just fine without us fucking think think about it. Think about it, bitch. Yeah.
Bombshell claims from a military whistleblower.
UFO wreckage recovered by the U.S.
kept classified by a secret government program.
Also, real quick, I love how in this country
we've somehow convinced everybody
that whistleblower has a negative connotation.
Yeah.
Like it's a bad thing that somebody goes,
oh, this is really
crazy and i think everyone should know about it i'm gonna tell people and then we've convinced
uh regular people to be like you shouldn't have done that fuck you it's because of songs i wanted
to be put in a camp it's the government's version of like italian people calling you a stool pigeon
or a snitch yes they're like Let's just fucking demonize these guys.
To scare people off ever doing it.
It's government regulated
snitches get stitches.
That's what it is.
It's fucking
when Edward Snowden got
there's all these fucking
base level Democrats
and Republicans just like these boomers
that think Edward Snowden like a bad person.
He should be in prison.
Like how he fucking, he risked lives.
Like he shouldn't have ever released that information.
Right.
He released information we all should know.
Right.
Yeah.
Crazy, crazy.
What a country we live in.
For decades, tonight, a world television exclusive
you will only see on News Nation.
Hell yeah.
Welcome to Elizabeth Vargas Reports.
Earning your trust every night.
No, you're not.
I don't know who you are.
There's nobody watching this news channel, NewsNation, every night going,
I'm starting to trust them.
UFOs exist.
The U.S. government found quite a number of them, UFOs exist.
The U.S. government found quite a number of them,
and they are indeed of non-human origin.
Wait, what?
How do you... Can you definitively say they are indeed of non-human origin?
Don't you need a fact check?
Don't you need a fact checker on that?
Well, I mean, you can find if they're made out of alloys
and elements that we don't have access to.
So she has proof that they're not made out of elements?
This is what this guy is saying.
The whistleblower is saying that we have these things.
We've been collecting them for 80 years.
The way she just said that is that we know this.
She said it like we're living in 2080 and it's like we just live amongst them.
Oh.
I don't get it.
What are you saying?
She's acting like we are living in a time where we are just casually saying,
like, yeah, that's an alien metal.
She sounded like it was common knowledge.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Rather than this is a crazy theory from a whistleblower.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
She's just definitively saying.
Well, you know, this guy's got a lot of chops as far as intelligence people vouching for.
He's got chops.
He's got chops.
All right. The kid's got chops. Does he have moxing for. He's got chops. He's got chops.
All right.
The kid's got chops.
Does he have moxie?
The kid's got gumption. I like my UFO whistleblowers
that have moxie.
Spunk.
The explosive allegations
from a former
intelligence officer
tonight in a whistleblower
complaint that the
inspector general
is taking very seriously.
It looks like shit.
Looks like a sperm cell.
36-year-old Air Force
veteran David Grush is exposing what he
calls a top-secret
military program that has
reportedly found... Watch them fucking come out
in like 10 years and be like,
they were crows.
Our new tech was able to digitize
the image. It's a crow.
We zoomed in a little more on it.
It's a fucking crow. After enhancing the photo, it's on it. It's a fucking crow.
After enhancing the photo, it's a crow.
It's an owl.
It's just a flock of crows.
It's the Kathleen Peterson owl.
We're sorry.
We got Frisbees.
Wreckage of fully intact UFOs.
The government now calls them UAPs, or Unidentified Anomalous Phenomena.
The government now calls them UAPs, or Unidentified Anomalous Phenomena.
For years, there have been whispers and rumors that the government had aircraft of non-human origin.
This report is the first evidence it might be true.
The inspector general has called... This lady really loves the spotlight, by the way.
Yeah, she's talking about it.
She demanded to do a big setup for the segment.
She's like, I need the camera on me for 75% of the segment, or I walk.
Yeah, okay?
Yeah, whistleblower, blah, blah, blah.
I've been working for News Nation for 13 years.
This complaint urgent and credible.
Tonight, we have a world television
exclusive interview with the whistleblower
in which he claims we not only have the aircraft,
but the government has been keeping much of its secret from Congress and from the public.
News Nation's senior national correspondent Brian Enten is here with the story,
and this is a blockbuster.
It is a blockbuster. It's really hard to wrap your mind around this.
I've been working on this for the past couple of weeks.
I'm still having a hard time.
Get to the interview, retard.
You've all seen these blurry videos of unidentified flying objects. Video evidence, if you will, that old tales of UFOs may not all be conspiracy
theories. In recent years, Congress starting an official U.S. government unidentified aerial
phenomena task force, recently renamed the All-Domain Anomaly Resolution Office, or AERO.
And now in a News Nation exclusive, David Grush, an
Air Force veteran, former member of that task force and veteran of the National
Geospatial Intelligence Agency, is formally blowing the whistle on secrets
he says no one has ever shared publicly before.
You are one of the most trusted former intelligence officials in the U.S.
defense and intelligence establishment.
Yes, I was.
You were trusted with the most intimate secrets.
And now you've snitched.
And now you've betrayed us.
There's a gun.
You're an alien lover, aren't you?
You like little green men so much? Oh, you like greenies, do you? Big greenie fan, aren't you? You like Little Green Men so much?
Oh, you like greenies, do you?
Big greenie fan, aren't you?
I'm with award-winning investigative journalist
Ross Goldhart.
He's recording for News Nation
and has spent years...
No son of mine's gonna be an alien lover.
You and that little alien girl going off.
I see you and that little alien girl
in the Bronx kissing. I saw you and that little alien girl in the Bronx kissing.
I saw you go to the drive-in with that fucking alien girl from down the road.
I saw you in the hallway with the alien fella.
You think he's your friend, huh?
He goes to the alien school, you go to the human school.
They've been busting you to the alien school, haven't to the human school. They've been busting you to the alien
school, haven't they? Reporting on the UFO question. What conclusion did you come to at the end of your
time on the UAP task force? The UAP task force was refused access to a broad crash retrieval program.
When you say crash retrieval, what do you mean? These are retrieving non-human origin technical vehicles,
you know, call it spacecraft if you will,
non-human, exotic origin vehicles
that have either landed or crashed.
We have spacecraft from another species.
We do, yeah.
How many?
Quite a number.
You're kidding.
No. Yeah, kidding. No.
Yeah, that's crazy.
I kind of like how you could tell he's not lying, actually.
He's had it. He's had it with people telling him that they're not around.
He's convinced.
I don't know if he's misinterpreting info, but I actually believe maybe some people are very good liars, but he doesn't seem like a liar.
He doesn't seem like he's lying.
He seems like he's had it up to here and he's not going to take it anymore.
Yeah.
I thought it was totally nuts, and I thought at first I was being deceived.
It was a ruse.
People started confiding in me.
They approached me.
I have plenty of current former senior intelligence officers that came to me,
many of which I knew almost my whole career, that confided in me they were a part of a program.
They named the-
You know what I call the CIA?
What?
The CLIA.
Central Lack of Intelligence Agency.
Oh, my God.
Yes, Stefan.
I'm fired tonight.
God.
Jesus.
He's fucked, dude.
Wow.
Actually, I have to make an admission.
I stole that joke from Meet the Fockers.
Jesus.
But female body inspectors, that was you.
Female body inspector was me.
Okay, good.
Okay, I coined it.
You can actually look it up.
I actually bought, I coined the whole thing.
Program.
I've never heard of it.
And they told me, based on their oral testimony,
and they provided me documents and other proof,
that there was, in fact, a program that the UAP task force was not read into.
Grush alleges the U.S. government has recovered non-
I love, like, the terms in things like this.
What did he say?
Like, orally?
He goes, like, they did the oral testimony.
Yeah.
I just like the word oral
Being a part of anything
They did an anal testimony
Anything serious
Like I had a teacher
We had a teacher
In a middle school
Where
We all had to
Like
We had to do something
Where we had to go
Into another room with her
And give
Do like an
An oral exam
Where we had to
We had to speak
Like so we couldn't
Look at
She had to know
We had memorized it actually actually, instead of copied it
to turn in our homework or whatever.
This old woman would come out,
and she'd call every one of us one by one,
and she'd go, Jeffrey, time
for your oral!
She's a fucking...
She's a pervert!
She had to be doing that. She would always call it
the oral. She's doing that. She'd go,
Devin, this room for your oral.
She's fucking masturbating.
We're all laughing our asses off just talking about people coming in her face.
Next room.
You guys get done with that oral.
That's great.
Human craft for decades.
He's filed a whistleblower complaint saying he gave what he calls the...
They had to get a bunch of B-roll of him walking, which is really fucking funny.
...to Congress and the intelligence community...
I love that.
They have to set that shot up. Like,
they tell him, they go, no, no, no, go back again. Like, walk to that last street and
then walk forward again. And you know what he's doing? He's like, man, I feel like I'm
in, like, Goodfellas. He thinks he's in, like, a movie. He's trying to walk as cool as he
can. Yeah, he's trying to walk. He's like, don't walk like a girl. Don't walk like a
girl. Don't walk like a girl. He hears, like a girl. Don't walk like a girl. He hears like brothers on the slide.
I guess he walks.
To Congress and the Intelligence Community Inspector General.
News Nation has confirmed David Grush's credentials and resume.
We've not seen or verified the alleged proof he says he's provided to investigators.
He says he can't show us the proof for national security reasons.
He also tells us he's not seen
photos of the alleged craft himself,
but has talked extensively with other
intelligence officials who have.
Everyone that works in the government has a very oddly shaped
body. They all have huge hips,
like big child-bearing hips.
They all kind of look like they,
you know, just like very wide, skinny
fat people. A lot of hips.
Big hips. In the Air Force, they have those hips people a lot of hips in the air force they have
those hips a lot of big hips those fucking krabby patty hips you know yeah that's how the other
branches don't have that it's only like air force guys i think yeah air force and like maybe navy
guys have like big hips for those those pants they wear yeah but those guys are like seals and
shit sometimes oh yeah i think it's air force guys they have why do air force
guys have yeah like even if they're sitting all day in planes giant hips fat ass that's why top
guns so unrealistic and they're all shredded yeah they're all shredded none of them they should all
have bbls in top guys everyone at top guys look like they just got by zion williamson
it's that scene of the dude on the beach but he's got like big pear-shaped hips all right if you're telling us the truth everyone the entire american
public has been lied to for decades yeah there's a sophisticated he's so tired bro he's sick of it
he's sick of it yep yeah they have you lime. He's like, yeah, they have, you limey fuck.... campaign targeting the U.S. populace, which is extremely unethical and immoral.
You are saying to the human race, for the first time,
an official intelligence representative at a high level from the U.S. government
is saying publicly, we are not alone.
We're definitely not alone. Absolutely, the data points empirically that we are not alone. We're definitely not alone.
Absolutely, the data points empirically that we're not alone, yeah.
Do we have bodies? Do we have species?
Well, naturally, when you recover something that's either landed or crashed,
sometimes you encounter dead pilots.
And believe it or not, as fantast fantastical as that sounds it's true
it's also harder that sounded kind of weird to me on the concept yeah what
does that mean we've encountered what it let so suddenly like steam like saying
though you know he's saying like yes there's bodies I know but like he his
tone suddenly shift is this late is this the first alien we found?
A crashed
object from somewhere else?
You know, I bet this bitch is like a health director
for an entire fucking state.
After COVID, they all look like these ghouls.
This woman, oh yeah, she'll tell you
how to be healthy. Hey everybody, listen
to me for health. My hair
falls out.
Eddie Dick's mom is now the Surgeon General.
Hey everybody, new health director, Ichabod Crane.
It's easier to accept that, yeah, we see things in the sky that we can't explain.
Journalist Leslie Kane broke Rush's whistleblower story this morning in the debrief.
Ms. Kane's career has been mainstream and credible,
having written a series of reports on UFOs in the New York Times dating back to 2017.
He has the credentials, but there's no documents that he's handed over. There's no pictures.
As a journalist, you want to see documents, you want to see pictures. Does that raise a red flag?
Not at all, Brian. I mean, you mean documents that actually describe the craft?
Correct, yeah, like documents, or to be able to see it for ourselves.
Of course. Don't we all want that? And the problem with that is all of that information is classified.
You know, as we said in the story, everything that Grush told Congress and told the the inspector general of both the I.C.,
the intelligence community inspector general and the Department of Defense Inspector General.
All of that information is classified.
In 2017, Katie- Hang on a minute.
So they're saying that he has access to the documents and could share them, but he's choosing not to because he doesn't want to get prosecuted?
So what it is is like Congress, the AARO, made like a whistleblower thing, which is a congressional thing. They made a whistleblower rule where it's like, if you have information about
these black money programs
that exist, you can come to us,
give us the information, and you'll be
free from any retribution. So it's like a
whistleblower law they put in there. So this guy's
going to Congress, telling them classified
things that they may not have access to.
And, you know, Congress isn't
going to tell the public that.
Why doesn't he reveal them to the public? Because then he's going to break the law. He can reveal it to Congress and not break the law, but he can't going to tell the public that. Why doesn't he reveal them to the public?
Because then he's going to break the law.
He can reveal it to Congress and not break the law,
but he can't reveal it to the public.
Also, though, stop being a pussy.
Just go to jail.
Release it.
That's big fucking news.
Get fucking shot, bro.
If you have proof, release it and go to jail or get assassinated.
Get on Zillow, start looking up caves in Russia,
and get prepared for the rest of your life.
I mean, Snowden was badass, dude.
Yeah. He gave it to everybody. I mean, Snowden was badass, dude. Yeah.
He, like, gave it to everybody.
I mean, and aliens.
Snowden, I think.
He's on tweets and shit.
That's hot shit.
And with Snowden.
He's hot, too.
Like, I want to fuck Snowden.
Snowden's a hot fucking sexy piece of ass, and he's all mysterious.
He's a man of mystery.
Man of mystery, yep.
I like him a lot.
You know what I mean?
Jason Bourne.
He's like a Jason Bourne kind of guy.
And who doesn't want to fucking suck Jason Bourne? No, yeah. renner one yeah renner and renner born and i don't want to suck
damon whoa whoa what an otter fucking opinion that's crazy it's more suckable to me yeah because
he's less threatening than damon born dude yeah i like over i could overpower renner i think
no you couldn't he's the steroid barn Do you know anything about born lore? I could easily overpower Jeremy Renner, okay?
His legs are fucking broken.
Okay?
But anyways, so if he had the ability to leak this,
even if it would have meant some jail time,
I think he should have done it,
because fucking Snowden went to jail
or got prosecuted for possibly sentenced for a long time
because he was, like, threatening
the lives of classified agents.
Yeah, he's, like, burning agents, too.
Right, so this is a victimless crime.
Like, whose life is he risking by
releasing this information? Yeah, countless alien
lives. I think it's, like, you know,
like, we're back... The thing is,
is, like, if we're having problems
like backwards engineering these things,
like, why would you be scared about China or Russia?
I can already hear the comments.
Reverse engineering.
I can hear the comments.
Yeah, whatever the fuck.
Why would you be scared about Russia or China?
I don't know what the fuck they have.
That's the thing.
This whole thing boils down to is the reason we're not getting any answers
is because we have no answers.
The U.S. government doesn't know what the fuck they are.
Yeah, they don't know.
It doesn't know what the fuck they do.
It doesn't know how they work.
So they're not going to say that because it makes them look weak right yeah if the if what this guy is saying is true i can surmise that they
have no idea what they have well they want to find out that you know yeah i'm sure they do want to
there's nothing that we don't want to dip our toes into we want to capture aliens and tax them
put it to work you know% tax on that big ship.
It's an anti-gravity tax.
The Pentagon had a secret UFO program.
Three years later, the Pentagon confirmed her story.
Her latest report is even more explosive.
McCain says she has multiple sources who back up Grush's story.
I believe it because of all the sources I have who have told me
the same thing so who am I to doubt these very very high-level people who
have been inside these programs for decades how about a journalist your job
is to doubt people the old hen yeah what did she just say here she was saying who
is why would I doubt any of these sources?
Hold on.
High-level people who have been inside these programs for decades.
It'd be funny if she just wanted a big tangent about it.
And no one's been inside of me for over three decades.
And I'm a little pissed off.
And I'm starting to think the only people that will fuck me are aliens.
And that's where we need to find them.
Just a sexually frustrated old bag.
Just desperate for alien dick.
Have done their work and are all telling me the same thing.
I mean, I don't think there's some kind of conspiracy among all these people who don't know each other to make something like this up.
So I've got to be blunt about this. You're not making this up.
This is not a lie.
What a weird question. Why would he lie about that he was dying was lying all right here's the
place to say yeah you're right you're right fuck right at the very end of the
segment it's kind of like the Sopranos ending I like to just cut to black I
gotta be honest with you you promise you're telling the truth yeah listen
your whole ten minute segment it's yeah that's like big lie
looking at your face they're going is this guy for real i am for real and i'm you know i'm
seeing you at great personal risk and obvious professional risk by talking to you today
and just within the last 10 minutes or so yeah like you can't ever work in intelligence
news nation about it's weird like the mit like everybody everyone looks like an alien to me now And just within the last 10 minutes or so, the Pentagon has released a statement to News Nation about this.
It's weird.
Like, everybody, everyone looks like an alien to me now.
All the humans talking about the aliens.
I'm like, you're an alien.
Yeah, he looks weird.
These guys all look like aliens.
He's got a zipper somewhere.
I bet the back of his head is a zipper.
There's a cockroach in his brain.
Unzip it.
He looks like their Hispanic Anderson Cooper.
News Nation tried to make an Anderson Cooper.
Just a giant arachnid in his head.
Just like controlling a bunch of fucking gadgets.
What they say to date,
Arrow has not discovered any verifiable information
to substantiate claims that any programs
regarding the possession or reverse engineering
of extraterrestrial materials have existed in the past
or exist currently.
Arrow is committed to following the
data and its investigation wherever it leads. Arrow working with the Office of the General
Counsel and the Air Force Office of Special Investigations has established a safe and
secure process for individuals to come forward with information. All right, nobody cares. Get
to the footage. This told him or somebody else has knowledge. That's it, basically. That's it?
Look at this footage. This sucks.
This is a terrible,
nothing happened.
This is bullshit.
All week, people were acting
like we had to do some UFO shit.
It's like, as usual, nothing.
Oh, really?
What is that?
That's the lights at Dodger Stadium.
Beyonce was playing that night.
What is that?
It's a concert.
That's not an alien, okay?
It's five lights in the sky.
It's fucking fluffy. Okay, that's fucking Taylor Swift spotlight.
Just repeating what somebody else has told him
or somebody else has showed him.
Yes, that is what he's doing, but he says,
four white dots in the sky, guys.
Let's devote the rest of our lives to this.
This is so fucking stupid.
A number of people who are in very,
very high level positions.
He also had basically the highest level the rest of our lives to this. This is so fucking stupid. A number of people who are in very, very high level positions.
He also had basically
the highest level
of classified material information
that he was able to receive.
We went back and checked over,
you know, his history,
all of his credentials.
He checked out.
Checked out completely.
Unfortunately, there's only...
In addition, a couple people
have come forward publicly
to vouch for him.
People who are high ranking.
They have.
They have. And this article
first came out this morning. So like the big tragedy
of this whole thing, like if what this
guy is saying is true, is like
you know, if this is in the hands
of like a few select
you know, aerospace
you know, companies, which is what they're saying
it is, is like, this isn't in the
hands. Maybe there's some that the government has.
But like, it's going to be like Lockheed martin's keeping this in a vault somewhere and like a private city
a private company like that is doesn't have to disclose shit to like a general you know right
so like if this is true and they have all these like things like we should be putting like top
scientists on it but they're being held in like a fucking vault somewhere probably not not being
looked at by dumb people but like you know it could change like history and like humanity and
shit if we had like you know we're really trying to like figure out so the thing is we're just
probably afraid to look into it because we we we have a good thing going yeah we don't need any
yeah yeah you know our booze don't need nobody yeah that is how the probably what i'm looking
that's how every single world power
would handle it if they had access to this
like you know crazy technology
that would give them power over
other nations why would they ever release
it so that is how they would
handle it if they had it we would only want
to release
we would only want to like make contact with
them if we could like arm the aliens
start a civil war between them then like a false flag event, then invade.
You know what I mean?
We'd have to have...
They'd have to be useful.
They'd have to be a useful idiot for us.
Zelensky gets really jealous.
We don't have any use for anything we can't use up and help make people more money.
Yeah, if it doesn't do something for them, then they're not going to do it.
They're not looking into it.
They don't give a shit.
We've been treating Middle Easterners like aliens
for fucking 30 years. We already have aliens.
Okay? Yeah.
They go,
and then everyone
in Congress goes, bomb them.
Bomb them.
They have a gavel. Bomb them.
Next. What's the next country? I don't know. They look the same. Bomb them. Alright have a gavel. Bomb them. Bomb. Next. What's the next country?
I don't know.
They look the same.
Bomb them.
All right.
Well, not too much.
Not very interesting, actually.
That was bullshit.
Boring.
Alien sock.
That was kind of cool.
That was kind of cool.
You're being a cuck.
You're being a cuck.
You're a cuck, dude.
Yeah.
I'm calling you a cuck.
Who's this?
I already called you one.
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We keep forgetting to do these when Joey and John are here because we're just having such a fun time.
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So just buy the damn underwear so we can get some ads
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You know, thanks.
God bless.
You ever see this?
See this story?
I don't even know if there's much here,
but it was an interesting one.
Talk about, you know, aliens.
Why aren't fucking...
Look at this story.
In 2010, Australian teenager Sam Ballard
was drinking with his friends
when they saw a slug crawl across the floor.
Sam's friends dared him to eat the slug,
and after some debate,
he decided it would be funny,
so he did.
A few days later,
Sam became weak
and complained of severe pain in his legs. After the emergency room doctors told him that he had contracted a
parasite known as rat lungworm from the slug soon after the diagnosis sam fell into a coma where he
remained for 420 days dude smoke up bro that's what i'm fucking talking about 420 days hell yeah
he woke up paralyzed unable to eat without a tube or move without intense effort.
Man, those dabs were strong, dude.
He required 24 hours.
Devin.
Dude, talk about a dab hit.
He required 24-hour care seven days a week.
He died eight years later in 2018.
Look at how beautiful he was.
Nice young boy.
Yeah, don't eat slugs.
Looked like Heath Ledger turned into a slug.
In the second picture, he looks like the cop in Terminator 2 that gets killed drinking
the coffee.
By the liquid metals.
Yeah.
He starts Spider-Man and then he looks like the cop.
That's a crazy fucking story.
I don't know if that's true, but like.
It's true.
Rat Lungworm is, you can get it from mushrooms too.
So fucking slugs, slugs are aliens.
Type in Terminator 2 coffee and that should do it.
Yeah.
You're not going to believe how close this is.
Go images.
Oh, my God.
Yeah.
It's fucking him.
It's the slug guy.
It's the slug guy.
He lived.
He was in T2.
He didn't die.
It's a fake story.
Fake news.
Fake news.
Fake news.
Hold on.
There was something else.
You guys ever see this? you guys have seen this video it's it's it's been around for a while actually those two gay guys in um
no i know you love gay guys fighting that's what you watch in your off time i know that's why you
haven't seen the sopranos yet because you're busy watching gay guys fighting compilations
this is a long torture for devin i I'm going to refuse to watch this.
You guys ever see these two gay tourists where they're driving around in Mexico to make a
wrong turn and the cartel stops them?
Yeah, I saw this.
They're panicking.
I have seen this, yeah.
We've never watched it, though.
No, let's watch it.
It's good.
It's pretty good stuff.
Oh, my God.
I love when they speak Spanish.
You got to put it on the thing.
What way should I go?
Straight or right?
Guy on the left is cool as a cucumber.
Guy on the right freaks out.
He's losing it, dude.
Well, the guy on the left is clearly from Mexico or something, right?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Bike on this road.
Or we're just being racers.
Well, I'm guessing because that's why he would stay cool.
Right.
Oh, my God.
The car behind us is kind of scaring me how fast they're going.
Is this common?
Yeah.
Like, you're in Mexico,
you'd, like, rent a car,
you're driving around, like, cartel,
you can just be like,
oh, shit, we're in wrong territory.
Don't go in rural areas of Mexico.
Like, I have a buddy who's,
he works for HSBC in Mexico City, and, like, he i have a buddy who's uh he works for hsbc
in mexico city and like he's he's a super cool guy he was telling me one of his co-workers uncle
was just driving in like a rural area mexico this family whole family was fucking raped and killed
but like at a checkpoint they'll just fucking kill you they'll just extort you for money you
remember what happened in tijuana like a year ago they set the whole fucking city on fire
they're locking people into 7-elevens and and lighting the 7-Elevens on fire because
it captured some cartel
leaders. It's insane. It's crazy.
It's crazy. It's like a fortress city. This city's on
fire. It's the cartel
song. Kings of Leon.
Oh, dude on the right's freaking
out, bro.
It's not scary. It's like, oh, God.
God, it'd be terrible
if the cartel pulled us over
and fucked us.
That'd be such a nightmare.
Oh, it'd be such a drag.
He's like, David,
why aren't you going faster?
He goes, I don't know.
It'd just be so terrible
if we got fucked in the ass
by the cartel.
They're big Mexican cartel cocks.
He goes, well, let me ask them
for directions.
I think I'm lost.
Should we ask them for directions. I think I'm lost.
Should we ask him for directions?
Somebody needs to slap some sense into me with maybe a big cartel cock.
Just cock slap me right in the face,
right in the neck, right next to this jungle.
Oh, I'd be horrible.
Oh, please don't fuck me in the ass.
Please, El Chapo, don't.
No, no, I don't like this.
They're all super handsome.
Oh, God.
Oh, it'd be a shame if they were all jacked.
It'd be a shame if all those cartel members were hot.
They had cool tattoos.
I'd hate that.
I'd hate that so much, David.
Cartel doesn't make me horny.
Cartel definitely doesn't make me horny.
I definitely didn't purposely drive here.
Look at him. He's looking in the mirror. He like kind of is thinking about it. That's the most deviant sex ever. Cartel sex?
Here we go. Go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go. Go, go, go, go, go, go, go! No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, I'll kill you. I'll kill you. You put a salsa on a chocolate chip cookie. It's fucking hilarious.
Please, what?
They're like, oh, they're gay.
You guys homeless cats?
We just want, we're just.
Do you think the cartel guys felt bad for them when they realized they were gay?
I think they consider gay people like women.
We're like, you can't hit them. Yeah, they're like, oh, we can't do anything to them gay people like women where you can't hit them.
Yeah, they're like,
oh, we can't do anything to them.
Well, Rob, you can't hit them.
You think so?
He's doing the international.
You don't think they consider them lower than dirt?
I think no.
Cartel members, gay people are accepted?
Well, they don't have a lot of respect for women.
But I'm saying they get the same status as women.
They're not going to hurt them like men.
Exactly.
You see that crossed arm thing?
That's the gayest thing you could do.
Oh my god.
I'm just a little angel. Don't hurt me.
All that means is X marks.
Come here. Come right here.
X marks the spot.
That is the gayest man of all time.
I've never seen anyone be so gay in fear.
It looks like somebody paused
a cum shot in a gay porn.
A facial.
What is the... That that's macabre.
That's so macabre.
That's so, oh.
The porn bloopers?
Yeah, the gay porn bloopers.
That's macabre.
That's macabre.
Oh, look at him.
Fuck.
Please. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. You're about to pass out. No, no, no, no, no, no. I thought you said the Mexican dude stayed cool.
No, the Mexican dude's freaking the fuck out. He was staying cool.
Now he's freaking out, dude.
What's he pulling up on his phone? What? What? You what? You what? Can we go? I'm lost.
What's he pulling up on his phone?
Probably translators.
Oh my god. Oh my god.
Maybe like
Cash App?
Please, please.
No, no, no.
Hey, no.
No, no, no. No, no, no. Hey, no. Peace, peace, peace. No, no, no.
No, no, no.
No, no, no.
Peace, peace, peace.
Peace, peace, peace.
Peace, peace, peace.
Peace, peace, peace.
Peace, peace, peace.
Peace, peace, peace.
Peace, peace, peace.
Peace, peace, peace.
Peace, peace, peace.
Peace, peace, peace.
Peace, peace, peace.
Peace, peace, peace.
Peace, peace, peace.
Peace, peace, peace.
Peace, peace, peace.
Peace, peace, peace.
Peace, peace, peace.
You gay.
No problemo.
My cousin's gay, too.
It's okay.
Papa, chill.
We're gonna see mi madre.
Oh, good.
We'll kill her, too.
I know we have her head.
They go, oh, is this your'll kill her, too. I know we have her head. They go, oh, is this your mother?
They hold up her severed head.
It's fun to make fun of people's worst moments in their life from a small basement.
No problem.
No, you're a good man.
You're a fucking really nice cartel.
They're great cartel members. They're great cartel members.
They're cool cartel.
I just feel, maybe they, I hope they didn't think this guy wasn't gay and they just thought
he was like American and now they all think all Americans act like this.
They think all Americans act like this.
That's the first American they met.
Americans are fucking gay, bro.
They're such pussies.
Yeah, it's like jizz.
It's okay, man.
It's okay. I love you. It's okay, man. It's okay.
I love you in big little lies, man.
You're great in big little lies.
Logan.
What's your name?
Phillip.
Can you speak English a little?
I love your interviews on the street, my bro.
Your movie.
What was it called? I love a bro's. Billy on the street, my bro. Your movie, what was it called?
I love a bro's.
Billy on the street.
Can we get a picture with you, bro?
Me and everybody in Cartel, we love Billy on the street.
Billy on the street make us laugh.
He is so a fucking gay.
A life of... He's a fucking gay I like that He's a fucking gay
You have no idea my friend
How much we go back to our
We go back to our cabins
We love a Billy on the street
He's a fucking gay
Our cabins
Wherever they live
Where do they live?
Huts?
Where do they live?
What do cartels live?
Tunnels and shit
Tunnels
Yeah
Tents
Oh man
So what is
this corner that we have
for tonight? Oh, it's John's UFO corner.
And we have questions about UFOs?
We have a lot of UFO questions. Super excited for really...
Never had this big of a reaction to a
corner post. So, I'm on Instagram for the
corners. If you guys are on Instagram,
Joey R. LaFleur, that's
where you could submit your corner questions.
And I've done a bunch of these now.
And this is by far the biggest response ever.
It's relevant.
We have our fingers on the pulse of society right now.
I'm looking forward to some really in-depth questions about UFOs.
Do you have a song for it?
Yeah, let's see something.
I thought this would be like Kid Cudi, Man on the Moon or something.
Yeah.
Okay.
That's great, though.
John's UFO Corner.
Here we go.
I never gave a fuck.
I never gave a fuck what people thought about me.
I mean, I did, but like, I'm retarded.
You know what I'm saying?
No.
John's UFO Corner.
John's Fat and Gay
That's the theme of the song as usual
Can't comprehend
What golden corral isn't open yet
I've been waiting outside
All night
Every day is Black Friday
When you're fat and gay
I'm so fat and gay
My blood pressure's getting low
Need pizza and ribs
I need my fat and gay, my blood pressure's getting low. Need pizza and ribs. I need my pizza and ribs.
I'm even fat on the moon.
I'm even fat on the moon.
How the fuck is this true?
It's the moon.
You're supposed to be way less on the moon.
Not me, though. Cause I'm fat. I'm supposed to be with Wayglass on the moon Not me though
Cause I'm fat
I'm really fat
Catch me posted with my pants full of poo
I'm even fat on the moon
I'm fat on the moon
I defy logic
I'm the fattest man in town
Oh yeah I'll be posted with my pants full of poo logic. I'm the fattest man in town. Oh, yeah.
I'll be posted with my
pants full of poo.
Yeah. Uh. People always
ask me, like, why your shit
why your shit smell so different?
You know, like, your shit
like on another level, you know, like, why your shit
smell so different? And I'm like, cause I'm a fat
gross mess, bro.
Yeah. Yeah.
All right.
Holy shit.
Holy shit.
You prepped for that.
I,
Fat on the Moon I had.
I had nothing else. That was great.
That was my new favorite song.
The Golden Corral thing
almost fucked me up.
Say it every week,
but that is my
new favorite song.
That was amazing.
Thanks, buddy.
Okay, first ever. Welcome to John's UFO Corner. First was amazing. Thanks, buddy. Okay, first ever.
Welcome to John's UFO Corner.
First ever one.
First question.
Fuck, marry, kill.
Yeah.
And by the way,
before I read this,
I want to say that
I went on Instagram.
My post was like,
hey, John takes UFO shit
really seriously.
I do, yeah.
He just bought a laser pointer
and he texted me and Devin
and he's like,
he's like, oh my like, I'm going to
communicate with aliens with this thing.
It's like a mile. And Devin and I were like,
that's right where the aliens are hiding.
One mile away. They're a mile away.
That's like cruising altitude. That's where the aliens are
in Atwater.
Dipshit.
But so I said...
You think they're a mile in the sky?
Aren't they like hundreds of thousands of miles?
No, they go from...
A lot of years away.
But so anyways...
I get it.
So anyways, I told them no goof questions.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And so...
I'm sure these are very serious questions.
I don't vet these.
I don't vet them.
I get them, I copy, I paste them.
I'm sure these are all very...
Joey doesn't look at these.
These are respectful questions.
Anyways, first question. Fuck, marry, kill.
An Ewok,
Baby Yoda,
and E.T.
You have to fuck one, marry one, kill one.
I would kill E.T. immediately.
That's crazy.
Yeah, I'd fuck an Ewok, and I'd marry
Baby Yoda.
Because Baby Yoda's like 300 years old.
So you'd marry the child?
It's like old, I think.
It's better than fucking the child.
No, baby Yoda.
I'm not going to fuck the child.
I could just have like a sexless marriage to baby Yoda.
And then it's just kind of like my buddy.
I think it'd be less bad to kill the child than to fuck it or marry it.
No, E.T.'s creepy, dude.
I want to beat the fuck out of E.T.
I've never liked E.T.
E.T.'s a...
I mean, I don't...
I'm not crazy about the movie or anything, but he's so sweetheart in the movie.
He's annoying as shit.
I think he's a...
I think he's a scumbag.
Well, anyways, I guess...
Fuck Steven Spielberg, too.
I bet that whole movie is like a fucking analogy
for pedophilia or something.
The Ewok would be nice.
Yeah.
A little soft.
That whole movie is about like,
that's his analogy for Epstein bringing him babies
on a bike in a little cart.
Blanket.
Yeah, in a blanket.
Fucking an Ewok
is crazy to me
because that's like also,
it's like fucking
a little beaver or something.
Yeah, that's chill.
So you wouldn't have sex
with a beaver.
I don't want to fuck E.T.
I love beaver, dude.
I don't want to fuck E.T.
or Yoda, I'll tell you that.
You don't like beaver, bro?
I'm like, damn, dude.
Eat some beaver.
Next question
Ask John
Which Halo alien
He would have sex with
An elite
A grunt
A jackal
Or a hunter
From Nick Ass
Oh by the way
First question was from
Leo Miller
The greatest stand up comic
In Seattle
Thank you Leo Miller
Okay now go get Halo
By the way
Those guys didn't know each other
They didn't communicate
It's just like our fans are on a wavelength together.
Similar question.
Are they chicks?
No.
I think because, like, first of all, you didn't list brutes.
Remember brutes, the big monkey ones?
Yes.
I'd fuck, like, a brute chick.
Not enough of him.
All right, I'd fuck an elite chick.
Not scared of the sword.
Not scared of the sword.
Dude, the sniper from the Jackal is the worst, bro. That was way scar scared of the sword. Not scared of the sword. Dude, the sniper from the jackal
is the worst, bro. That was way scarier than the sword.
They, on elite,
those fucking jackals would snipe you
from across the map. Yeah. Yes,
dude. Those jackals are terrifying, bro.
So you'd fucking elite. I'd fucking elite.
Next question. Hopefully we get a
real one because aliens are in the news and
John is an expert. He knows Travis Walton.
Okay. No Travis Walton. Okay.
No Travis Walton.
Question for Big
Gay John.
Not a good start.
Oh God.
And his
extraterrestrial
fuck fantasies.
Okay.
If he was to
get probed,
would he prefer
the ass or the
ass?
It's a serious
question that needs
a serious answer.
Love the pod
fellas and your
coverage on serious
and important topics
affecting society
today from Dana.
So you really don't have options.
It's ass or ass. I mean, I guess I'm gonna take
it in my ass. Ass, he
says. Next question.
If
if John had the
privilege of meeting an alien and he took him
up another craft, showed him around
a bit, let him see their
alien nightclub,
what would John's favorite position be
when he was eventually gangbanged,
if they call it that, by the whole
lot of them from Ben B?
A whole lot of them.
That's like a little old-timey.
The whole lot of them. You'll be gangbanged by
the whole lot of them, boy!
I mean, like, dude, I don't know, man.
If I had to get fucked by a bunch of aliens, like,
are they the little ones?
He doesn't say, so it's up to your imagination.
I hope they're little ones.
You know what I mean? Because they have little peckers.
Right, you barely feel it.
Yeah, just fucking, you know, just go for it.
The aliens are in John's jeep.
What position?
Ride them cowgirl, dude.
So you're sucking one?
Are you jacking? Jacking two, cowgirl, dude. So you're sucking one? Are you jacking?
You're jacking two, sucking one, and riding one. Yeah, riding one.
It's crazy, dude. Thank you for your answer.
You're riding the alien. I'm riding the alien
cowgirl.
And you're making your cheeks clap?
Yeah, I'm like, I'm reverse cowgirl.
Reverse cowgirl? Yeah.
So you can watch TV.
Next question. John you can watch TV. Next question.
John is a galien.
A galien.
Yeah.
That's the whole thing from Josh.
Thank you, Josh.
Not really a question from Josh.
Okay, next question.
How large of a tractor beam would be necessary
to hoist John's fat ass off of the ground
and into the UFO.
Once inside, how long would it take the aliens to realize
he loves getting his anus probed?
And would they continue after they realized
he's enjoying it from Walter Nichol?
Fucking love you, Walter.
I love Walter.
Fucking cool guy.
Yeah, I don't know, man.
I think the tractor beam doesn't, like, I don't know how they work, bro, but, I mean,
I don't know if they would stop if I'm, that's the thing.
If you started cumming uncontrollably while they're, like, probing you, do you think they
would stop?
I think they don't care.
They're like, we want to.
Yeah, it's a scientific thing.
Right.
They'd probably be stoked.
They'd be like, oh, great, now we have cum data on these guys.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So.
Cum data.
So, wait, so it would be a very powerful...
We don't know tractor beam tech, so we can't answer that,
but how long would it take them?
Probably seconds, bro.
And then would they continue to do it?
Yeah, dude.
Oh, they would.
Okay, next question.
How's this, John, being completely unqualified to answer,
how would you make contact with sentient alien beings using any
means or technology at your
disposal from Lord Snake? That's a real one.
Any means or technology? Yeah.
How would I make contact with them? A laser pointer,
we happen to know, but let's say you had any... Yeah, it'd be really funny
to hit a laser pointer in a big alien eye.
That's fucking hilarious to me. But if you had
access to any tech... Am I trying to be peaceful?
Dude? First contact?
Your only objective is to making contact oh it'd be really funny like shoot them with a shotgun or something
the second they got out of the ufo no so he's saying you have to try to be nice to be peaceful
no not nice like you like okay your mission is contact aliens contact aliens uh i think like
dude uh i don't think there's a point to it.
They don't want to be contacted.
They're already here, man.
Nobody going to try radios?
Honestly, I mean, like, music would be cool.
Show them fucking music.
You know, blast it out into space with radio waves.
Yeah, like play a cool song or something.
Just like, what was it?
What's a song aliens would like?
The Gun Corner song. I mean, the UFO Corner song.'s a song aliens would like? The Gun Corner song.
I mean, the UFO Corner song.
Yeah, Fat on the Moon.
Yeah, Fat on the Moon.
Jeez.
We should shoot that into space.
Okay, next question.
Yeah, yeah.
By the way, after this,
there's one Bushido Boulevard question
I want to get to
because this guy asked it to me.
Should we do mid UFO corner
or after? After.
I just don't want to forget this guy's
question because he actually, the advice
it's a timeline. He needs
the advice quick.
Does John think this
disclosure is legit or just
another government psyop to distract
from how they're fucking up everything else
in the world from Steven with a PH? I'm honestly half and half like this could very easily just be an excuse to
fucking get more funding for the military as like oh so like uh-huh uh this it could be a big
distraction from ukraine i don't know like i'm i also like kind of believe in yeah i agree project
blue beam if you want to look that up on wik. But yeah, I'm honestly half and half on this.
I don't know what to think of this.
This guy seems legit.
Half and half.
Half and half.
Next question.
If he's chosen as Humanities Ambassador,
how long would it take John Knopf to convince the dude aliens
to grease him up like a walrus
and commit acts of sexual violence against him?
From Nate Yenny, our friend.
Oh, yes. What's up, Nate? Shout out friend. Oh, yes. What's up, Nate?
Shout out, Nate Yenny.
What's up, Nate?
Annie Yenny and Young Arrow.
Arrow kicks ass.
John Yenny, what's up?
I think, I honestly think
if you're flying around space
and going within galaxies,
you're probably a sexless society.
Low-key.
They probably don't give a shit.
No, they probably don't.
Yeah, they probably breed through tubes and shit.
Or they've become crazy hedonists and all they care about is fucking.
No, that gets phased out, bro.
Maybe.
You can't focus on wormholes when you're fucking.
I think you need a break from wormholes and you have to take the edge off.
You gotta take the boy hole.
Okay, next question.
Ask him what it feels like knowing that he is too much mass
to reach the escape velocity necessary to leave Earth's atmosphere.
Also, what sort of technological breakthrough does he fantasize about
knowing that it isn't even possible to invent the tech
that would be absolutely necessary to help someone of his size
to escape Earth's gravitational pull?
Thanks.
My brother Louie said that.
Oh, what's up, Louie?
Hey, what's up, Louie? Louie listens. Louie LeFleur's premium quality call. Louie's gravitational pull. Thanks. My brother Louie said that. Oh, what's up, Louie? Hey, what's up, Louie?
Louie listens.
Louie Lafleur's premium quality call-in show.
Louie's fatter than me.
How dare you say that about my brother?
That's not cool.
First off, you insulted him and you interrupted the plug.
Say the plug again.
Louie Lafleur's premium quality call-in show.
My favorite podcast out there.
It's a hilarious show with super good editing
and crazily
well-produced sketches.
Check out Louis Lafleur on Instagram.
He makes really funny videos.
And I apologize for what you said.
You're crazy.
You said he's fatter than you?
You're fatter than him.
How tall is he?
He's fatter than you on Jupiter.
How tall is he?
Let me see a picture.
Last I saw, he was pretty chunky.
Well, you're fatter.
And also, he isn't a member of the show where your fatness is like a running joke.
He's a civilian.
He's not a haywire.
I'm going to be tried at the Hague for targeting civilians on this.
Okay, wait.
So what was the question?
What do you feel about being too fat to get sucked up?
The technology required and all that stuff. Yeah, I don't know, wait. So what was the question? What do you feel about being too fat to get sucked up? The technology required and all that stuff.
Yeah, I don't know, bro.
Fucking, it's...
You've been stumped.
Next question from Yarmules.
Love you, Yarmules.
Love you, Yarmules.
I called Yarmules hammered last weekend.
I was on a crazy bender that ended in me owing five apologies.
One of my...
Yarmul was cool about it, but I called him
hammered. We talked. He's moving to LA.
I was pitching him my art ideas.
I'm sure he loved that.
It's like one of those things.
Jesus Christ.
I was a fan of this guy.
It's like Tony Soprano calling Tony B
when he's like, I'm going to get a smoothie.
And he goes,
that's great.
You deserve it.
It's a way to go back to bed.
Okay, you're almost at this question.
Being that John is a violent racist
with eyes full of wonder.
Yeah.
Wow, I'm going to put that on my obituary.
Violent racist with eyes full of wonder. obituary violent racist with eyes full of wonder
yeah when it comes to the different types of aliens which flavor does he think is more of a
threat extra terrestrial or illegal illegal what so so he's asking uh or uh like actual
aliens more of a threat or illegal aliens more of a threat?
I mean, if you want to get humble about it.
Because he's saying John's a racist.
Dude, we don't know what kind of bad hombres are coming over that border.
And aliens, we know they would have killed us already if they wanted to kill us, you know?
Yeah.
Here's a Travis Walton question.
Oh, shit, yeah.
If John is in the same situation as Travis Walton, what changes?
And why is it just
a lot more gay sex with the ETs?
From Chad.
I can't believe how many responses this gets.
Yeah, it's crazy.
It keeps going?
Let's rapid fire.
Yeah, it's, you know,
fucking gay sex.
Apparently there was a chick in that one.
Apparently there was a chick alien.
What would you do, though, if you chick in that one. Probably there was a chick alien. What would you do though
if you were Walden?
Like how would you
If I was Walden
I mean like
he was fucking freaking
he was like a hillbilly
in the 70s dude.
How would you
be convincing the world?
I'd probably be like
I'd probably fucking
I'd probably
I'd probably just like
not let them take me somewhere.
Okay.
Because that was his mistake.
Next question.
What are the chances
that the UFOs
are demonic
rather than extraterrestrial?
100%. 100%. Next question. Can are the chances that the UFOs are demonic rather than extraterrestrial? 100%.
Next question. Can aliens
promote my show in August?
On August 11th with the headliner
Shane Moss at the
Zoetic Theater in Hamilton.
Well, that's he just got you.
That's a friend of the show. He does like all
the good photoshops. What's his name? Mike
Solo. Okay, yeah, yeah.
He's a funny comedian. He's a friend of the show and he does like the
best, great, he's like always doing
Where's he based? Canada. So the shows
I don't know, this must be in Canada.
Zoetic Theatre in Hamilton, August
11th. Let's go, Mike. There's a couple Canadian
comics that I think are fans of the show.
I think Ben Bankus is a fan of the show.
Shout out Bankus. Shout out Bankus.
Next question. Hypothetical question for John's UFO
Corner. How would John go about convincing his newfound alien buddies to overthrow the world governments
and install Joseph R. LeFleur as emperor of the world?
As it should be.
And why must Devin be a sacrifice for this to occur?
And I don't have a name.
I forgot to put a name on that one.
Dude, honestly, Devin, you wouldn't like...
You wouldn't be cool with that?
If I what?
If I...
You died to Joey
President of the world. So Joey could be
president. Think about how many people you would save.
Why would Devin ever want that?
Think about how many people you would save.
I better be alive to see Joey
be president of the world. You'll be alive in our hearts, Cody.
No, I would be selfish. I'd be like, no, if I can't see
I would never sacrifice.
Joey wouldn't take office if it meant
me dying, I hope. I would never. I would say, first of all, Joey wouldn't take office if it meant me dying. I hope.
I would never.
I would say, first of all, I don't want office.
Oh, you'd throw the town.
But if I did want office, I would say, no, thank you.
Not for Devin.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Not for Devin, my best friend.
I don't think so.
Thank you, Joey.
You're welcome.
Okay, but the other part of the question was,
how would you convince aliens to put me in position?
I would get you at, like, 25 white claws deep
and then have them call you.
Perfect answer.
Okay, here's one.
Does John keep
the little alien
from Men in Black
shoved up his ass
from Wheelchair Pat?
The one that's in the head?
No.
No, no.
Maybe.
I don't know which one he meant.
There's a lot of little aliens.
I think that's the littlest alien
in the movie.
No, I don't keep him in my ass.
Shadow Wheelchair Pat.
In what?
Men in Black. There's a little alien. Oh, right, right, right. Cockro the movie. No, I don't keep him in my house. Shadow wheelchair pet. In what? Men in Black, there's little aliens.
Oh, right, right, right.
Cockroach guy.
Okay, next question.
I'm going to wrap it up.
John, do you think the reason for cattle mutilations could be the fact that the stone ape theory is correct
and aliens are examining cows to understand how this creature could create a fungi
that we then consumed causing the rapid brain growth compared to other primates from Luke Blackmore?
I think cattle mutilation is bullshit.
Why would they leave the cow here?
Why would they?
Vaporize the cow.
I guess maybe they don't care if we catch them.
That doesn't make sense.
I do see if
the stone ape theory were true
and magic mushrooms
made primates
evolve more rapidly.
And I'm investigating the species.
I would go, like, why was the cow?
But also those.
Because of cow shit.
The mushrooms grow on cow shit.
But also, no, that's just fucking fertilizer.
Like, they also grow without cow shit.
I think the Stone Age theory is just hippie bullshit.
So do I.
So do I.
Okay.
Next question.
John is an unidentified faggot object.
Not a question.
Not a question from Jacob.
John, once the aliens started slaving us, how would you make your case to be a house
slave?
That's a good one.
Oh, to be a house slave?
I would just hate humans and be like, hey, I fucking hate these guys, dude.
You would be house slaves. You and me just hate humans and be like, hey, I fucking hate these guys, dude.
You would be house slaves.
You and me.
For aliens?
What if they're like, okay, there's... Joey can't be a house slave.
Joey would be in the fields singing songs and shit.
I'd be the worst slave.
Yeah, Joey...
I'd be a runaway slave.
I'd be a runaway.
You'd be Frederick Douglass of fucking alien slaves.
Yeah, Joey.
You'd be giving speeches in Maryland.
But how would you convince them to get into the house?
Because there's a lot of guys...
I'd be a good boy, bro.
There's a lot of good boys. I'd be... No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
What are you going to do? I'm such a good boy, bro.
What are you going to give us that the other... I'd make them all their
mush all day. I'd make their fucking
mush food, and I'd... We have a million
guys making us mush. I'd be like, look at my buddy Devin.
Look at him, and I'd be like, he's a good boy, too.
What is Devin going to do for us? Devin's so good
at being docile. What is he going to do for us?
How do I satisfy you? He's not going to do shit for you,
Runaway Slayers. He's not going to do shit for you, runaway slave.
He's not going to do shit for you.
I'm the alien.
I'm the alien.
What are you going to do to get into the house?
What am I going to do? I'd buddy up to them.
I'd be like the house slave.
I'd be like, whatever you want, boss man.
Yeah.
To like the big alien.
I'd make them tea.
I'd like, okay, so they like your tea enough to let you in the house.
Okay, so they like your tea enough to let you in the house. Okay, almost done.
Dear John, if aliens have already established some degree of contact by seemingly surveying us and entering into our atmosphere,
why do you believe they would not simply establish contact directly if we already have supposedly recovered their downed aircrafts
and possibly organic pilots to those crafts from Joseph Hughes.
I don't think they give a shit about the pilots, number one.
Number two,
yeah, I just think
they really just don't care.
I think, honestly, okay, if you want my whole fucking theory...
John always acts like he's like, dude, I would
say a lot, but like...
People aren't ready for it, man.
I'm trying to rapid fire. Okay, all these crazy
UFO abduction stories
happened like 30 years after nuclear bombs
were detonated on the Earth, right?
And that was really easily read from space.
And then they just kind of,
I feel like there hasn't been a really credible,
correct me if I'm wrong in the fucking comments,
but I don't think there has,
from what I've seen,
there hasn't been a really credible abduction story
in the last like 30 years.
So I think what happened is,
the second we started detonating nukes,
which is a really good way to sense
if this is an advanced civilization from outer space, it was probably like a free-for-all
and you had these weird fucking aliens showing up and like kidnapping people and like telling
them like love like treat the earth well and then like 30 years later all of a sudden all the all
the ufo sightings are now like weird military tic tacs and shit that are really interested in our
military technology i think after 30 years some big advanced fucking aliens organizations like
don't touch these fuckers anymore. We're handling it.
Got it.
I like that.
How many inches of E.T.'s finger could John Deepthroat
while having his fart box
tongued by
a xenomorph?
A xenomorph? No.
Given the opportunity
to have a single question answered, what would you
ask? And what do you think would be the
most challenging aspect
of humanity
for an ET to understand?
Probably fucking
how gay Devin is
on the fucking stops.
You'd say,
why is Devin so gay?
Why is Devin so fucking gay?
Why does he gotta go
to the stops every night?
I'd fucking impress
the shit out of these aliens.
Oh, you'd impress them
with what?
What would you do
with your fucking
weird knowledge
of odd celebrities?
Yeah, my humor.
They don't understand humor, bro.
Tap dance for them and shit.
They would figure it out.
I'd do the Charleston.
I'd be like, come on, guys.
Look at this.
Don't kill me.
Look at me.
Hello, my baby.
This one is silly.
Okay, next question.
If John claimed he was abducted by aliens, would you and Devin believe him? Also, that fag would definitely moan when he got probed. From Jerry
Seinfeld.
From Jerry Seinfeld.
Jerry Seinfeld? Wow.
I didn't know we had
such a
big listener. I don't remember talking like
that.
He's edgy.
What I believe, John came up to us
and was like, dude like he was dead serious
And he was like
Dude I fucking
I know this sounds crazy
But I got abducted
What would
What would you say
Yeah
If I was genuine
And he was dead serious
He was like genuine
I was scared
He was like scared
And like you could tell
He wasn't joking
I'd immediately
Bash him
Yeah
And say
He's a fucking retard
Who's fucking
What's going on?
How much Benadryl do you take?
Right.
I would go straight to Benadryl.
Yeah.
Oh, you think I'm back on the bennies?
I would just say, like, what's going on with you?
What the hell's happening?
And then what if he swore up and down I didn't do any Benadryl?
And I was, like, dead sober.
Dead sober.
And I was, like, coging, and I got abducted.
And he started giving us facts.
Dude, I was out in the desert.
I had, like, four hours of lost time. I would tell, I would go
like this. I don't know what I'd do. I'd go, John,
just say you're gay.
Now you're bringing up aliens into this?
You're so afraid of admitting you're gay?
Yeah. Perfect answer.
Okay, next question. Oh, two left, I think.
John is a UFO hunter but can only
search one Uranus.
Who's getting colonized?
Davin, Joey, or Relapse Richie?
Love the show from Bobby Bad News.
MMA collectible guy.
Look him up on Instagram.
I mean, if I got to do some gay shit, it's going to be done to Richie.
Why?
I don't meet up with Richie and do a podcast every fucking week, so.
Why would you want to do gay stuff to Richie?
Because I don't fucking have to do a podcast with him every week.
Oh, so you like him?
It's more exotic?
Richie's going to be traumatized by the things I do to him.
I don't want either of you
to be traumatized.
You don't see him as much,
so you'd be more comfortable
defiling him.
Nice question.
Last question.
Last question. I question. Last question.
Fucking finally.
And I skipped about
20 questions.
That's crazy.
It's nice.
There's a lot of enthusiasm
for really retarded
segments that we do.
Last question.
Considering a life form
from outer space
would more than likely
be far more
technologically advanced,
what type of weaponry
does John envision
they would have?
And exactly how long
after meeting them would he shove said guns up his giant gay asshole?
From American Dream, high five.
I don't know, man.
Like, they might have shit.
Like, did you watch that Tucker Carlson interview where he's like, dudes are getting brain damaged by getting in contact with aliens and shit?
No.
Oh, yeah.
There's like...
I tell you, I get brain damaged watching Tucker Carlson.
I'll tell you that much. Yeah, it's probably like you, I get brain damage watching Tucker Carlson.
Yeah, it's probably like some weird shit we can't even fathom.
And definitely something I can't shove up my ass.
Can you try to just pontificate? I mean, what do you want me to say?
Like a big dildo with a gun?
Is that what the fans want?
They want a big cock that they use to shoot things?
So he gave us a chance, but there was a real question.
I just said it's probably like things that we can't even fathom.
It's probably things that just make you disappear or some shit like they're like
fucking flying through like worm they're going faster they may have eliminated the need for
weapons what do you think it's like yeah i'm not even sure aliens have weapons they might not need
anything they just go so fast they know we'll never be able to hit them or anything yeah like
speed of light who's to say that if they do have weapons who's to say that they're advanced who's to say they're not using fucking
muskets or like fucking rocks they they could you know what if they like have pots and pans like
it's like how like the alamo was one they might be so scared of us because they literally haven't
like done war in like a million years and they're like these guys still do war that's crazy we don't
even kill each other anymore.
I think if they're advanced,
they may not have to travel light years.
They may not even understand the concept of violence.
That might be a strictly human trait.
Well, that was the thing in Arrival
where they mistranslate the word tool
as weapon
because the alien weapons
are actually just their tools.
But I think like whatever they used to
fuel their
aircrafts would be enough to wipe out
humanity. Probably, yeah.
You know what's interesting? Maybe we don't have time for this, really.
Maybe I sound idiotic as usual,
but if we're
admitting aliens exist,
it kind of means
that, like...
What the hell?
God. Are we saying God is for all of us, or just humans? It kind of... Like God.
Are we saying God is for all of us
or just...
It kind of cancels...
Jesus is for everybody.
It kind of cancels out
God existing for...
No, no.
I think religious people
would say...
So would God create...
It's all the universe.
Yeah, he created the universe.
Why would he create
a bunch of green other ones?
It's part of the universe.
He created everything.
Do they believe in God?
No.
What is their Bible?
They better.
They better.
What is with you
and your religious bullshit, you retard?
You're like the biggest savage I've ever met.
That's a good point.
Yeah, because super religious, or like not super religious, it's very common for religious
people to be like, if you don't believe, you go to hell.
Yeah.
So how aliens, how could they believe?
Or maybe they would say like, well, aliens.
I'm saying it kind of throws a wrench in religion.
Yeah, you're right.
You're right.
And we're kind of saying aliens do exist.
There is life.
Now these reports are like, hey, we're not alone.
Yeah, we aren't alone.
Yeah.
That's the big thing.
So God created them to, no.
I mean, it's John's UFO.
I agree with you, but John, what is your response?
That's the thing that people are always like,
they're not going to release the UFO information
because it means God isn't real.
It's just like, you know, whatever.
Yeah.
It means Christians are going to figure out a way to put aliens in the Bible.
I don't think we really needed a...
Devout Christians, that does, like, basically...
They're going to evangelize the fucking...
Yeah, because also they think, like, Earth is new.
How does it not?
It fucks the whole thing up.
Because they're just going to be like, yeah, Jesus created aliens.
No, because they won't even...
They reject dinosaurs.
They reject dinosaurs.
Why would they accept, like...
No, they just think Dinosaurs were around
Like 6,000 years ago
They think we were
Riding them
Yeah
That's the funniest shit
They think we were
Pulling into saloons
On Tyrannosaurus Rex
It was like
Woo
Settle down there
T-Bone
That's the dumbest
Fucking shit
Anyways
Let's get this
Bushido corner question
Oh yeah
So that was the last one
Alright one Bushido
Boulevard question
By the way
Who sent us the shirts?
Jason Sheehan?
No, no, no.
That dude sent us the oranges and the avocados.
Who sent us the shirts with the suicide note, but it was a joke?
It was like Paul or something.
Or Phil?
Paul Moritz?
Or Phil?
Fuck.
He messaged me.
They all get caught in the...
Did he want a shout out?
No, he messaged me saying I was just joking.
I didn't mean for you guys to think I was lying.
I said that on the last one too.
I'm so sorry.
Let me try to find it. You read the question. I'll try to
find it. Oh yes, it's Paul.
Paul, thank you for the shirt. I love it.
Oh, that's it? A couple of them.
He sent some really cool fucking shirts.
Thank you so much, Paul. And we're sorry
that we made fun of your note because we thought
you were going to kill yourself. He was just joking.
That was me, not Devin.
I didn't think you were. I thought it was serious.
Yeah, Joey sent me the message
and I was like, Jesus. And Joey's like, man,
is this guy okay? Also, even if it was
serious, God bless you
and thank you for being that crazy of a listener.
Yeah, no, truly. But you're a fan
of the show. You know we're going to make fun of you.
It makes me feel a sense of power
to know that if there's anyone out there we end of the show, you know we're going to make fun of you. It makes me feel a sense of power to know that if there's anyone out there
if we ended the show, they would kill themselves.
I love that. I marinate in that.
Okay, so this one guy
When we do Bushido Boulevard,
do they want their names out there?
Dylan! Maybe, maybe not.
I was going to say first name. Just first name.
Don't know if you guys are still doing Bushido Boulevard. However, I, Dylan! Maybe, maybe not. I was gonna say first name. Maybe not. Just first name. Dylan. Don't know if you guys are still doing Bushido Boulevard.
However, I do have a question about life and need some insight.
Well, you've come to the right place.
Three absolute retweets.
I just turned 22.
I recently had to leave my job as a boilermaker because I began to have serious health issues,
heart and neurological complications.
Sorry to hear that, buddy.
What is a boilermaker?
I talked to this dude on the phone for like 30 minutes.
What are you doing?
I was bored.
You're just calling people?
What's a Boilermaker?
He puts whiskeys into beers?
I don't know, but I've seen pictures
of what they do and they gotta crawl into machines.
They gotta crawl in big pipes and shit.
It's a fucked up thing.
He's a machinist of some kind.
It's like you're in a big pipe and you gotta crawl in there and do things. It's like guys that travel to the center of big pipes and shit. It's a fucked up job, right? It's a fucked up thing, dude. He's a machinist of some kind. Hey, it's like you're in a big pipe,
and you got to crawl in there and do things in a pipe.
It's like guys that travel to the center of the earth and shit.
It's the guys they'd hire on Independence Day.
Okay.
So he began to have serious health issues.
I'm a tradesman, and all of my experience lends itself to labor.
And now I'm really in a rough patch.
My girlfriend wants to move across the country,
and I'm dealing with finding a job here in the meantime
and possibly looking for one where we will be moving.
Either way, I'm running out of money.
Do I do a complete career change?
Do I stay in labor and risk injury to myself or others?
Maybe go back to college.
I'm at a loss.
Thanks, guys.
Let Devin go first.
You know, I would put your health first jobs are bullshit there's plenty of them out there
uh i wouldn't i wouldn't feel like your identity is attached to you being a boiler maker or you
being into man in manual labor person uh or tradesman and as as as as good as you may be at
it uh yeah you have some serious uh health issues you're 22 you have a long life to live you want or tradesman and as good as you may be at it,
yeah, you have some serious health issues.
You're 22.
You have a long life to live.
You want to give yourself the best chance.
I would move with you.
Your girlfriend's probably trying to get you to move to fucking keep you alive
and stay.
Stop you from doing this dangerous job.
Keep you from fucking trying to travel
to the center of the earth.
Sounds like she loves you.
Yeah, she kind of loves you.
She doesn't want you to have a heart attack
as you're trying to swim in magma.
It's his job.
Whatever your job is,
I don't know what a Boilermaker is.
He works at the final scene of Terminator 2.
He gets boiled alive in magma.
I just picture him with a hard hat on,
swimming through a volcano.
I don't know what that is.
But, buddy, your health comes first
jobs are bullshit money's bullshit it's just dave and buster's life points we all are under the gun
of this ridiculous system we're in the only thing you have is your internal happiness and your
girlfriend and the love you have in your life um and yeah i would i think this is this is the lord
telling you
maybe it's time to make a change,
and I don't know about college.
I don't know if,
unless you have a specific goal
that you need a degree to then have that job,
then I would go.
If you don't know what you're going to do in college,
going to college is meaningless.
It's actually a terrible idea
unless you have to go to then get a job.
Most degrees can't even get you a job.
Most degrees can't.
So unless you need this degree to like get a job,
you know,
we've had engineering friends that have had to go to college to be what they
want to be.
But just going in general to college,
I think that's retarded.
Um,
I would,
yeah,
I would do a career change i mean i don't know
what you make i mean maybe you're like oh fuck i make like you know six figures and you know
but yeah you're you want to live you know it's your health comes first and uh yeah i would i
would move and and uh i get some greener pastures in your life first are you done yeah first thing
i would recommend is looking into like a big
workers comp lawsuit hell yeah dude yeah if you can cash in on that do it and fuck everybody if
that's an option do it take the money use it to move with your girlfriend to get like a nice
situation going and then use that extra money to uh learn a new thing that doesn't risk your health.
So whatever it is,
I don't know you well enough,
but maybe you can dig into some other kind of technology.
Learn some other thing that doesn't require dangerous positions that could affect your heart and stuff.
So do that.
There's a lot of ways to learn.
I don't know if you're interested in it, but if you wanted to learn computer technology, there's a lot of ways to learn. I don't know if you're interested in it,
but if you wanted to learn computer technology,
there's a lot of ways to do it.
You're clearly a smart guy.
You probably could.
And yeah,
eat your girlfriend's pussy
because she sounds nice.
She sounds nice.
You're 22, too.
You're 22.
You're 22.
That's so fucking young.
When I was 22,
I had nothing going for me. When I was 22, I had nothing going for me.
When I was 22, I wasn't like, man, my career might be changing.
I mean, I had nothing going.
My career?
Are you kidding me?
I was thinking about if I should get the number five or the number six, a jack-in-the-box.
I wasn't thinking about anything.
Make sure you live as long as possible.
Yeah, it's all about living.
So, you know, if this job's affecting your health, focus on that.
And, you know, yeah, you might make a little less money, but you'll figure it out.
And you have incredible skills if you are good at that.
That's a skill set that you could then take into maybe you train people.
Oh, sure.
That's a great idea.
Become a – not an apprentice, but, like, become a guy that, like –
Journeyman.
Yeah,
I don't know what they do,
but like,
you know,
you could even make
extra money going on
a task wrap.
You go set up
retards fucking desks
and shit,
you know,
show up to their house
and some pussy
with his Asian wife.
You set up his dresser
on his TV for this guy
sounds above that,
but yeah,
he could be a mentor
to his less strenuous job.
You know, you just, you may have to do some odd jobs for a while, but it'll, it'll work out. Also, he could be a mentor to a practice. I'm just saying, less strenuous job. You may have to
do some odd jobs for a while, but it'll
work out. Also, don't be intimidated.
Don't be intimidated by computers
if that's
an option for you because
I know people that don't know shit
about computer technology that took
an eight-month class and instantly
got a
six-figure job.
Same, same.
Yes, never underestimate.
If you have a brain for whatever you do,
and it's in engineering in any way,
or you have to deal with, you could learn how to work on a computer,
and you could make a pretty damn good living quick.
I mean, one of our best friends,
I just met with the Department of Defense for,
because, don't say his name or anything about him, I mean, one of our best friends I just met with the Department of Defense for.
Don't say his name or anything about him.
Why can't I say his name, dude?
That's him.
We never thought,
I never thought that guy had a brain for computers or anything like that.
Hell yeah.
I was like, who the fuck?
Out of nowhere, he buckled down
and went to school and got like a thing in computer science.
And he's fucking killing it.
And now he's making, you know, he's making weapons to bomb Yemeni weddings.
One of my favorite people, by the way.
The best guy.
Always something out there.
And yeah, never underestimate your abilities and you'll be fine, dude.
Focus on your health.
You don't need to.
I don't know what you're doing.
What Boilermakers are.
Also,
last piece of advice,
stop asking retards for advice.
And also that,
like don't go off us.
What are you, kidding me?
Yeah, are you nuts?
But, yeah,
it would be fun to kind of like permanently
maneuver your life from a...
That's my best advice.
I find it amusing.
Like, you know,
hey, if your life gets even worse,
send us,
tell us, give us us a... Tell us...
Give us an update.
Tell us how bad we...
How bad our advice was.
Yeah, you're done
crawling through hot vents and shit.
How could it get worse?
How could it get worse?
Come on.
Your heart stops ticking
in a hot vent?
Yes.
Fucking...
What's that?
What was that movie?
The Journey to the Center of the Earth?
Yeah.
Yeah, enough. The Journey to the Center of the Earth? Yeah. Yeah, enough.
Or The Core. The Core.
Yeah, you're a character in The Core.
You're having heart issues.
Get the fuck out of it. Eckhart in The Core? Yeah, The Core, dude. That movie fucking
kicks ass. We're gonna watch The Core tonight.
I would love to. I love that movie.
Alright, um, thank you
so much for listening, folks.
Thank you for bearing with us on our 100th episode.
I know that wasn't the typical Hatewatch episode.
I know it was a very polarizing episode for people.
I think people really liked it.
People hated it.
I completely understand hating it.
That was not a typical Hatewatch episode.
It was just, you know, it was schizophrenic to watch.
Watching us argue and then an old argument and then half clip.
It was bizarre.
But I think it was a good encapsulation of the insanity that goes on here.
I thought I was going to get fucking cooked in the comments, by the way.
Well, you cooked yourself so bad they didn't even want to throw anything at you.
No, no.
I got a lot of messages like, dude, I love Joey, but I'm so disappointed.
Like, dude, I'm fucking, I love Joey, but I'm so disappointed.
So what I did was I did this huge, insane, libertarian, anti-government, anti-government mandates argument.
And then all the guys that disagreed with me were like, I love Joey, but Jesus, I can't
believe he defended government mandates.
So I was, I said a lot of retarded shit,
and Devin said even more retarded shit.
No, I was completely correct,
and everyone agreed with me.
As usual.
No, no.
All right, folks.
Should we do another hour?
We are a week one by.
You're still refusing.
I'll say that I made a pedantic point,
and I was obsessed with semantics,
and I was being argumentative, and I'm not passionate about any of the things that I made a pedantic point and I was like obsessed with semantics and I was being argumentative
and I'm not passionate about any of the things
that I said. I'm just playing devil's advocate
because I know Devin is
unable to articulate like a real
logical argument. So I was just like, let me
troll him. And then I
responded in one of the comments with
my defense. This is pathetic.
And so John's a massive
cuck for Devin. He's like, oh, let me just suck Devin.
She's like, dude, fucking Devin.
I guess you're calling all the listeners massive cucks.
That's what it is.
No, a lot of them messaged me and agreed with me.
They're like, dude, I disagree with both of you,
but Devin just wasn't getting what you were saying.
You weren't saying anything.
I was making a non-point,
but you thought I was making a point.
Yeah, because when you argue,
nothing. Somebody thinks
you're making a point about something. I was just saying the government should stop
doing mandates.
So I was against the government.
We're going to get episode
100 all over again. Sorry, guys.
I can't believe I even started it.
Anyway, sorry
about the last argument, and sorry for just
trying to do another one.
I have a real problem.
I've got a real issue with my brain.
We love you, Joey.
We love you.
God bless you all.
God bless you all.
We love you.
We love you all.
Joey R. LaFleur on Instagram.
John Badman on Instagram.
Who gives a shit?
Bye-bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.