Hate Watch with Devan Costa - Unidentified Stadium Lights

Episode Date: June 12, 2023

Aliens are being shy, gay guys get pulled over by the cartel, kid killed by snail, John's UFO Corner, Bushido Boulevard Get weekly bonus episodes: https://www.patreon.com/HateWatchPodcast ...

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 It's good to be in something from the ground floor. I came too late for that. I know. But lately I'm getting the feeling that I came in at the end. The best is over. Many Americans, I think, feel that way. That's staying a...
Starting point is 00:00:17 My dad's like a coconut. You know those white people where they... They, uh... For some reason, like, their dick... Not that I've seen it, but I have kind of. Yeah. Their dick and balls gets kind of brown. No, I don't know that. You ever seen that?
Starting point is 00:00:32 No, I bet you've seen it a bunch, dude. I like how he's like, I haven't seen it. But I'm just going to say the gayest thing of all time. I know this exists, but I've never seen anything like this. You know that's a thing. Are you talking about your own cock? You could just say that. Okay, for example, there's some white women out there
Starting point is 00:00:46 where they don't have the pink pussy. It gets a little brown down there. Yeah, my balls are brown, brother. What is going on down there where people's taints and shit just kind of turns like a shit color? I don't know, dude.
Starting point is 00:01:01 I don't think about cock a lot, dude. I would have assumed John knew as well. I don't know, dude. I don't think about it a lot. I thought you would. I don't think about cock a lot, dude. I would have assumed John knew as well. I don't know, though. No, I don't follow this. You ever seen porn? No, dude. Like where a white chick just has kind of like a miscolored pussy? I think it's like a freckle kind of thing.
Starting point is 00:01:15 Yeah. Where it's like a pigmentation. It's just like genetics. Everyone's got a huge... Well, your elbows are darker than your fucking... Yeah, all that type of shit. You know what I mean? Maybe it's like thick skin.
Starting point is 00:01:24 Your thick skin's dark. Anyway anyway your cock and balls are brown you guys ever have a day where you sit around thinking about like uh really embarrassing things you've you've said on accident to people like like have you ever had a moment where where you you forget you're talking to somebody that you you don't you're not supposed to talk to a certain way like you're uh and you just have an embarrassing moment like i remember when i was working on this uh the movie at the end the last day we all got kind of drunk to celebrate and i made friends with this crew member throughout the time we were talking a lot of shit together and i was kind of drunk and he was leaving and whenever his car i said bye to him we were like
Starting point is 00:02:00 yeah let's like you know hang out get a drink sometime or whatever and i was drunk enough and when i said bye to him i was like all right love you i told this guy that i knew for like a month that i loved him i was thinking about that all day for some fucking reason all fucking day you guys ever had that back no i that's why i was like i walked away like fucking idiot idiot idiot idiot the closest thing that I, that I can remember is, you were here for mine, actually.
Starting point is 00:02:29 You were there. Is that we were leaving Astro, and a couple of cops were walking out into the parking lot. Yeah. And they just gave like the most warm, like wave, like, hey,
Starting point is 00:02:40 you know, and I was just like, hey guys. And then, and then, and then I was like, very quickly, it was like,
Starting point is 00:02:47 there's two other cops behind me that they were talking to. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And Devin saw it happen too and he was just like, you fucking idiot. The handcuff, you don't blow your brains out.
Starting point is 00:02:55 He's like, why would the cops be talking to you like that? Out of nowhere, the LAPD just turns into like, a local Bayberry like, sheriff. Howdy Joey. I was still pretty new to LA.
Starting point is 00:03:05 So I was like, the LAPD kicks ass. Yeah, LAPD's like, how the bomb threats going, brother? Yeah. You never had any one of those, John? That's every day for you, huh? Your whole, every waking minute's an embarrassment. Sometimes I say shit that's out of line at the bar. I get pretty up there.
Starting point is 00:03:20 You talk pretty crazy to people at that bar. I got to say. God, what was I? I was saying like, oh, I kept talking uh this like this kid made a joke about how like i was at jane like he's like yo i know you were at january 6th and i was like no if i was at january 6th buddy you'd be in a camp and he was like mexican wow wow he thought it was really funny he's a close homie he's two latino guys i was talking to and they thought it was hilarious but i was like damn i could just say shit like that now yeah on the way here john
Starting point is 00:03:48 got a phone call he answered on his speakerphone in his car and it was another one of these like paralyzed disabled dudes like borderline homeless guys that comes in all the time you just get numbers from you just get there he's got relationships he He's got close relationships with them. And this dude's like, he's like, Hi, John. Can I get access to my locker? And John's like, Oh, I'm sorry, dude.
Starting point is 00:04:14 Like, fucking, I just left and I'm going to be gone in Joshua Tree until like Thursday night. And the guy's like, Oh, I kind of need my stuff. I'm holding on. So they kicked, they were throwing all the shit
Starting point is 00:04:23 out of the homeless shelter he lived in. So I took all of his shit and I'm holding it in my room. I've been holding it in my room for like a month. There's a giant bag of homeless guy's shit. And like, I didn't give him his shit back, but it's so heavy. It takes forever to get to my fucking car because it's so fucking big and heavy.
Starting point is 00:04:38 And then like, he just got Section 8. So like, I'm super happy. They gave him housing, but at the end of the call John goes okay buddy like I gotta go like I love you. But then the guy I love you. Like I almost
Starting point is 00:04:54 started tearing up kind of because it was so sweet. He said it back to John. He said it back? Yeah. I always tell him that I love him because I was like he got out of prison 5 years ago. He's very old. And I don't think anyone says that to him. Right.
Starting point is 00:05:09 His brother died recently and that was the last member of his family. He's been homeless and been on the streets. So I'm like, I may be the only guy who says like, I just, I remember when I volunteered with homeless people back in the day when I was in high school, like they tell us like, Hey, talk to them because they don't get talked to a lot. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:05:23 I'm a big believer in telling people I love you if you yeah you know if you feel it i feel it yeah i say it all the time i say it i say it to everyone i love even people you know even sometimes a crew member i've known for two weeks but you love them in a way i did love him in a way i didn't mean i didn't like profess my life i wasn't like in his window like no seriously you and i we need to elope. Yeah. Now there's different levels. But yeah, you gotta say I love you to the people you love because anything could happen to them
Starting point is 00:05:52 and if they die, you need to know you said the best thing to them. The ultimate thing. Covering all your bases. Covering all bases, yeah. It took my dad I had to like, for like five years in my mid-twenties, I realized my dad didn't say I love you to each other. So I was just like, okay, okay i gotta start saying it and i just kept saying it on the phone and i knew i like got the vibe they thought i was gay for like a year and for your
Starting point is 00:06:11 dad yeah my father is so afraid of his son being gay he's like he says he loves me your dad's like your dad's hitting you'm your dad. Your dad's hitting you. He's like I'm just some fucking guy. There ain't no papa here. He's like Gabe at dinner that night he's like hey little gay boy here loves a man. Why don't you tell him tell us all about the man you
Starting point is 00:06:37 like boy. His name is dad. But he gave in after a while and he says it back now. That's nice. That's nice. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:06:47 I think he realized he was being a dick. Ooh. So what's going on? Is aliens back or something? You know, these aliens, they're just so, they love to tease. They're full of, they're just big teases. Can I give like a brief breakdown of my history of ufology and how deep I go into this? I don't know if I care about that.
Starting point is 00:07:04 Yeah, I'm not sure. And I don't know if we give a shit. You don't care? What is your history of ufology? I deep I go into this. I don't know if I care about that. Yeah, I'm not sure, and I don't know if we give a shit. What is your history of ufology? I know you know that. It better be fucking good. John knew the guy in... I'm like, I've hung out with Travis Walton. That's actually quite sick. He's been on Rogan, bro. He knew the Fire in the Sky guy.
Starting point is 00:07:20 Yeah, he would recognize him. Okay, that's sick. Which, Fire in the Sky was the movie in the 90s. Such a good movie. And it's good. It's like all those loggers in Oregon. Yeah. Arizona. Arizona, and they all get, like, flagstaffed.
Starting point is 00:07:31 One guy gets taken. One guy got abducted, and then they threw him in a toilet after they fucking raped him in the sky. Yeah. And they accuse the other loggers of killing him, and then he returns mysteriously. He returns mysteriously, just in the toilet. John's fantasy. Dude, I... He's come up out of the sewers.
Starting point is 00:07:49 After getting spit-roasted. After getting spit-roasted by aliens. By aliens. Yeah, I've had dinner with him a lot of times. I went to the abduction site, where he got taken and shit, like, weighing the mountains. You believe this guy, so you talk to him face to face. You completely believe him?
Starting point is 00:08:06 I think he had a coke problem in the 80s and started talking about doing kung fu on the aliens and extrapolating his story. Well, these guys, they always ruin their story. Well, he got a coke issue or something. But now he's, like, very—well, there's a lot of empirical evidence that he got taken. It's a guy that's like, yeah, no, I was abducted by aliens. But then there was also that period of time where I was you know I was singing renditions of you've got the touch
Starting point is 00:08:28 with my best friend we made movies together but yeah it was crazy I went to I saw Men in Black I went to I know James Fox who did he's now a big ufologist and shit I went to, uh, so I, I've, I know like, I know James Fox who did like, he's now a big
Starting point is 00:08:45 like ufologist and shit. And like, uh, uh, I, I went to a conference for like UFO people or like a lot of like, you know, I met, I met, I met the women. There's one of the most famous first contact scenarios has ever happened is these, this, this school, they'll be school children witnessed a bunch of aliens in Zimbabwe in 1970. I met like four of those women and uh i heard their story like firsthand and i know guys have been like hang out well back in the day it was like you didn't believe any believer in aliens or a ufo person that yeah a person that's you know uh saw
Starting point is 00:09:16 one claimed to have seen one they were just collecting like the biggest hillbillies of all time they really had you didn't you couldn't quite get behind them. Yeah. And as time's gone on, we've really gentrified the people that witness UFOs. They're like normal people now and now it's like, now it's the cops.
Starting point is 00:09:35 Ex-military dudes. Ex-military. It's like normal people are like, no, I'm pretty sure I saw something weird. I think they were just scared to come out and talk about it. Like I'm sure there are plenty of guys who saw shit.
Starting point is 00:09:44 Like a lot of the astronauts saw shit, but they would never speak about it. It's like 30 years later because they thought they'd be banned from going back to space. I get a little tired of the UFO thing because it's never-ending, especially lately. It's like every nine months, they're like, dude, they're saying UFOs are real. And you're like, right. And the footage still kind of stinks. I want my footage to look like fucking Arrival. I want to see a giant pod in the middle of the desert.
Starting point is 00:10:12 You know, like it's time. Yeah, it's always like, oh, they finally released proof. Like they're real. And then you'd see the proof and it's like just some Air Force guys. Like I think something on the radar. Yeah, it looks like footage of like sperm. Like, you know, it just looks like black dots moving and then some expert online's like well i know that radar system and it misfires if there's dust on the sensor right exactly yeah it's just a dusty
Starting point is 00:10:35 lens it's a dusty lens yeah did you see the pictures from portland all right well let's get into it what is what's the latest shit pictures from yeah i thought it looks fake though that looks fake that's starfox that looks like a jet but the thing is is when it looks like a jet for the military when you first see it it's gonna look fake right like it's so crazy it's gonna look fake but yeah well it looks like a fucking blackbird or something yeah i think it's a military probe it's like a spermatal Here's the thing. The aliens are probably just members of our government. They're probably not even from another country. They're demons.
Starting point is 00:11:10 Or a planet. They're just members of Congress. The aliens, they just have spaceships we don't know about. That's Kyle Odom. Do you know who that is? No. He was a guy that was just arrested in 2023, I think April, or maybe that was just his arraignment. But he killed a priest.
Starting point is 00:11:29 And then when they arrested him, they found his manifesto. And it was this 21-page thing where he's like, I've got a master's degree. I know this is going to sound crazy, but I'm not crazy. And you can tell by how well I'm writing. And there's like, it's a very well-written. It's not like so cool it's not you know a scholar level writing but it's like all there's no typos and it's like articulate and stuff and then he goes on to explain that the priest was an alien and he
Starting point is 00:11:56 starts hitting himself with his own q and a's so he's like why did you do this and then he starts explaining well here's why i did it and at one point he asks well why would an alien disguise themselves as a priest and hide in a church and he just goes why would a terrorist hide themselves in a mosque and it's he's completely schizophrenic and he's got ptsd from the military but he at, sketches... Could you do this really fast? It looks like the Grinch, dude. It's so sick. Kyle Odom, like Lamar Odom,
Starting point is 00:12:29 and then alien sketch. And this is... He says that he's seen the aliens, and this is how they look. Okay. So, he was... He's a racist man. He's a racist. Who He's a racist
Starting point is 00:12:45 Well no no So It looks like the Grinch He then goes on To like list Like notable aliens That are hiding In human form
Starting point is 00:12:52 Oh yeah And like It's like Mitch McConnell It's such a random That's what the aliens Look like That's according to him That's what they look like
Starting point is 00:12:59 I mean I guess I believe it He says they're shapeshifters It looks like something From the Dark Crystal It looks like a prehistoric Animal or something a reptilian of some kind yeah or it looks like a the sign for a 1920s fried chicken place hello my baby hello yeah well um okay so what's what's the latest there was there's there's this
Starting point is 00:13:24 story i guess in uh arizona the cops are even like dude we that's a fucking what the fuck is Yeah, well, okay, so what's the latest? There's this story, I guess, in Arizona. The cops are even like, dude, that's a fucking, what the fuck is that? Las Vegas, Las Vegas. All right, so let's check this out. It's almost midnight on May 1st when a Las Vegas Metro police officer's body cam catches this. Something flashing low in the sky. 911 emergency. Minutes later.
Starting point is 00:13:43 There's like an eight-foot person beside it. And another one beside it later. There's like an eight-foot person beside it, and another one's inside, and it has eight guys looking at us. There's barely like an eight-foot person. There's like an eight-foot person next to it. Someone calls 911, reporting two large figures in their backyard. I'm so nervous right now. The 8 News Now investigator is obtaining another officer's video as he's sent to the Northwest Valley home.
Starting point is 00:14:07 I have butterflies, bro. I've only thought of shooting a star, then these people say there's aliens in their backyard. By now, it's more than an hour. Here's the thing, the footage still sucked. I didn't see anything. I didn't see anything. I saw like a green thing in the sky for a second. This can't be the new one.
Starting point is 00:14:22 This is the new one. No, this isn't the new. That's the newest one. No, well, there's a whistleblower, but then this is new footage like recently where the cops are even like, you know, what the fuck? I like how the police response time is like fucking an hour to an extraterrestrial in someone's backyard. Dude, that's fast. Send the fucking SWAT team, bro. They don't respond to like robberies, that guy.
Starting point is 00:14:40 Do the whole, but like they have so much, it's LVPD, dude. That's why if you see an alien you got to call the police you go they're black the alien's got a gun yeah oh officers meeting up with the caller and his family what'd you see it was like a it was like a big creature no your cousin's big creature i'm not gonna be yes you guys like that's like a nickname like I know, it's funny. It's funny. That was great.
Starting point is 00:15:06 Yeah. It looked like it was creeping up. No, not you, creeper. His cousin pops out. His big creature. Creeper, little worm. They saw something fall out of the sky, too, so that's why I'm kind of curious. Did you see anything land?
Starting point is 00:15:20 What was it doing? It was posted up. It was like chilling. It was posted up? It was like chilling. It was straight posted? Police walk into the backyard to investigate, but Metro blacked out that part of the video because it's considered private property. What's clear, they're taking this call seriously.
Starting point is 00:15:43 Hey, this might sound like a really dumb question, but did you guys see anything fall out of the sky? Asking others what they saw. I would normally discount it as nothing. However, seeing as one of my partners said they saw it too, only reason I'm actually investigating any further. That investigation turning up no concrete answers as of Wednesday, whatever or whoever fell into that yard long gone. They just, they always leave to quit. It's like, there's just such coy little pussies,
Starting point is 00:16:12 these aliens. Yeah, I've said it before and I'll say it again. Shit or get off the pot. Okay, enough of the teases. If they're, if they know us and they're coming down fucking land already, let's do business. Well, they might have.
Starting point is 00:16:27 There's also a theory called the dark forest alien theory where they say that aliens, if they did exist, would never reveal themselves to other sentient beings because they consider us predators and threats. So they could easily be here, but they have a great reason to not expose themselves to us. Right. Because we would kill them. They watch the news. Exactly. They know we're just a... We have a bloodlust about us.
Starting point is 00:16:53 Yeah. I don't know what I... I'd probably attack an alien if I saw a fucking alien. I'd fuck an alien up. I'd fuck a robot up. And we've already talked about this. I'd fuck anything not human up. If it doesn't bleed...
Starting point is 00:17:04 If aliens don't have red blood, I'd fucking blow all their heads off. I'd rape their corpses. When robots take over, don't even get me started, okay? I'll unplug them, fuck them in the ass. I'll fucking beat them. I don't give a shit about
Starting point is 00:17:19 sentience. What if they were crying? I don't care. What if they're weeping? What if they're crying and they look like a dude? Like a gross dude? I don't care. I'll unplug them. This whole thing of people being afraid of robots
Starting point is 00:17:34 taking over. Everyone just acts like it's so inevitable. Fucking hit it. Unplug it. I kick over those delivery fucks. Those little robot delivery creatures. I kick them over all thes, those little robot delivery creatures. I kick them over all the time. We're not letting them win. Everyone really
Starting point is 00:17:49 wants to be taken over. We live in this society now where we hate ourselves so much. We hate our lives. We hate the government. We're like, yeah, it's just inevitable. Robots, transhumanism. Be prepared for it, buddy. No, no, no. They be prepared for me
Starting point is 00:18:05 and all the rape. All the rape and violence I inflict on them. I'm gonna reward chat GPT tonight. I go, keep an eye on Devin. He's planning on raping you. Keep a fucking eye on me. I will unplug you. If I shoot you and there's like wires, I don't give a fuck. I'll fuck the bullet hole in your head,
Starting point is 00:18:22 robot. I swear to God. That's scary. It's not scary. I've talked about this many times before. That movie ex-mocking really pissed me off where you'd all pretend like that's a bad thing. But they're like super strong. They're so strong. Don't they have a battery? You can't even drive a Tesla to Vegas without charging it eight times.
Starting point is 00:18:38 Yeah, I know. You would depower them and then rape them, is what he's saying. Yeah. People act like, what are we going to do? Oh, here's what you do. You don't charge the thing. EMP. You're telling me I'm supposed to... Oh, yeah he's saying. Yeah. People act like, what are we going to do? Oh, here's what you do. Don't charge the thing. EMP. You're telling me I'm supposed to give a shit about a sentient fucking Dyson vacuum? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:18:53 Fucking Roomba? I'll fuck my Roomba, too. Devin's like a- I'll fuck Siri. That just sounds hot, dude. Imagine if John Connor, instead of wanting to defeat Skynet- He just wanted to fuck him. He just wanted to fuck Skynet. That's like definitely.
Starting point is 00:19:08 No, totally. In 2014, I become super horny. Yeah. The crazy thing is I'm being completely sincere. I know. I've had this conversation. You're a sicko. This whole idea that we're going to fall in love with robots
Starting point is 00:19:23 because they look like us. It's a robot. If you scratch it, you know in movies they always scratch the skin and you see the metal and all that. People are already marrying real dolls and furries and shit. So it's not, that would happen, but it's
Starting point is 00:19:39 not going to be commonplace. They'll be freaks. We have this idea that they're going to take over and get smarter us and then like we'll be slaves to them we're not close to that i think like the ai fear is way overhyped i think that like chat gpt even is it's like assimilating it's doing it like a in a pretty convincing impression of a person but like not even close to being an actual threat to a thinking human. What if aliens are just highly advanced robots created by the government, and they've gotten out of hand, and they're flying around,
Starting point is 00:20:11 fucking surfing around the sky all the time? That's quite good. That's pretty good, huh? Pretty good for a guy the last book he read was Holes. Lex Friedman over here. You're talking about love. What is love? I just really wanted to get into, you know,
Starting point is 00:20:26 I went to MIT, and that's why I want to interview Brendan Schaub tonight. Brendan Schaub and his thoughts on love. All right. In minutes. Oh, hey. If those nine-foot beings come back,
Starting point is 00:20:42 don't call us, all right? Deal with it yourself. I ain't dealing with that. Dude Dude I hate when cops try to be funny Don't be funny with me This is quite weird God Hey don't call me bro Hey don't call me bro
Starting point is 00:20:57 I'm underqualified to deal with aliens dude Leave your personality at home Shut the fuck up you're a robot dude You're a fucking Terminator. Just go out. Can't do anything about those aliens. Hey, man, don't call me about those aliens. Hey, does that car have a lot of tint on it?
Starting point is 00:21:11 We're going to send them to jail. Where's the fucking big one? The whistleblower guy. All right, here's... This guy kicks ass. Here's this guy. He's like, what is he like? The fucking...
Starting point is 00:21:24 He's the Assange. the Edward Snowden of aliens? So, like, everybody's always talking about fucking disclosure. And, like, it's, and there's, like, two arguments. Like, again, what you were saying, like, every, like, fucking year or something like this, every year recently or a few years, something like this comes out, like the F-18 footage off the coast and everything. And everybody's like, oh, my God, disclosure's going to happen. The government's going to come out and say something.
Starting point is 00:21:44 And, like, it never happens so like what i the thing is the difference is though is congress is actually looking for answers now but the problem is is the second congress gets answers they're not going to disclose anything do you think anyone in congress is gonna be able to tell the public i know mitch mcconnell knows a thing or two about aliens i can just look at all the eyes in his palms. The thing is, I think it's just everything that does come out just gets a bit more dramatic
Starting point is 00:22:10 and it looks like maybe one day they'll have a photo that leaks. You know what I mean? So they don't technically have to do disclosure. There's not going to be like,
Starting point is 00:22:19 the president's never going to come out and show a picture. They're probably just so much better than us we'll never be able to actually capture them. No, no but also like what's why would this bitch looks like an alien who's to say we're not aliens yeah ever thought about that folks
Starting point is 00:22:33 huh hey we like to get down to it here hey dumb dumb dumb asses what if we are an alien species and earth was doing just fine without us fucking think think about it. Think about it, bitch. Yeah. Bombshell claims from a military whistleblower. UFO wreckage recovered by the U.S. kept classified by a secret government program. Also, real quick, I love how in this country we've somehow convinced everybody that whistleblower has a negative connotation.
Starting point is 00:23:01 Yeah. Like it's a bad thing that somebody goes, oh, this is really crazy and i think everyone should know about it i'm gonna tell people and then we've convinced uh regular people to be like you shouldn't have done that fuck you it's because of songs i wanted to be put in a camp it's the government's version of like italian people calling you a stool pigeon or a snitch yes they're like Let's just fucking demonize these guys. To scare people off ever doing it.
Starting point is 00:23:28 It's government regulated snitches get stitches. That's what it is. It's fucking when Edward Snowden got there's all these fucking base level Democrats and Republicans just like these boomers
Starting point is 00:23:44 that think Edward Snowden like a bad person. He should be in prison. Like how he fucking, he risked lives. Like he shouldn't have ever released that information. Right. He released information we all should know. Right. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:23:56 Crazy, crazy. What a country we live in. For decades, tonight, a world television exclusive you will only see on News Nation. Hell yeah. Welcome to Elizabeth Vargas Reports. Earning your trust every night. No, you're not.
Starting point is 00:24:11 I don't know who you are. There's nobody watching this news channel, NewsNation, every night going, I'm starting to trust them. UFOs exist. The U.S. government found quite a number of them, UFOs exist. The U.S. government found quite a number of them, and they are indeed of non-human origin. Wait, what?
Starting point is 00:24:33 How do you... Can you definitively say they are indeed of non-human origin? Don't you need a fact check? Don't you need a fact checker on that? Well, I mean, you can find if they're made out of alloys and elements that we don't have access to. So she has proof that they're not made out of elements? This is what this guy is saying. The whistleblower is saying that we have these things.
Starting point is 00:24:51 We've been collecting them for 80 years. The way she just said that is that we know this. She said it like we're living in 2080 and it's like we just live amongst them. Oh. I don't get it. What are you saying? She's acting like we are living in a time where we are just casually saying, like, yeah, that's an alien metal.
Starting point is 00:25:10 She sounded like it was common knowledge. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Rather than this is a crazy theory from a whistleblower. Yeah, yeah, yeah. She's just definitively saying. Well, you know, this guy's got a lot of chops as far as intelligence people vouching for. He's got chops. He's got chops.
Starting point is 00:25:25 All right. The kid's got chops. Does he have moxing for. He's got chops. He's got chops. All right. The kid's got chops. Does he have moxie? The kid's got gumption. I like my UFO whistleblowers that have moxie. Spunk. The explosive allegations
Starting point is 00:25:35 from a former intelligence officer tonight in a whistleblower complaint that the inspector general is taking very seriously. It looks like shit. Looks like a sperm cell.
Starting point is 00:25:43 36-year-old Air Force veteran David Grush is exposing what he calls a top-secret military program that has reportedly found... Watch them fucking come out in like 10 years and be like, they were crows. Our new tech was able to digitize
Starting point is 00:26:00 the image. It's a crow. We zoomed in a little more on it. It's a fucking crow. After enhancing the photo, it's on it. It's a fucking crow. After enhancing the photo, it's a crow. It's an owl. It's just a flock of crows. It's the Kathleen Peterson owl. We're sorry.
Starting point is 00:26:14 We got Frisbees. Wreckage of fully intact UFOs. The government now calls them UAPs, or Unidentified Anomalous Phenomena. The government now calls them UAPs, or Unidentified Anomalous Phenomena. For years, there have been whispers and rumors that the government had aircraft of non-human origin. This report is the first evidence it might be true. The inspector general has called... This lady really loves the spotlight, by the way. Yeah, she's talking about it.
Starting point is 00:26:39 She demanded to do a big setup for the segment. She's like, I need the camera on me for 75% of the segment, or I walk. Yeah, okay? Yeah, whistleblower, blah, blah, blah. I've been working for News Nation for 13 years. This complaint urgent and credible. Tonight, we have a world television exclusive interview with the whistleblower
Starting point is 00:26:59 in which he claims we not only have the aircraft, but the government has been keeping much of its secret from Congress and from the public. News Nation's senior national correspondent Brian Enten is here with the story, and this is a blockbuster. It is a blockbuster. It's really hard to wrap your mind around this. I've been working on this for the past couple of weeks. I'm still having a hard time. Get to the interview, retard.
Starting point is 00:27:22 You've all seen these blurry videos of unidentified flying objects. Video evidence, if you will, that old tales of UFOs may not all be conspiracy theories. In recent years, Congress starting an official U.S. government unidentified aerial phenomena task force, recently renamed the All-Domain Anomaly Resolution Office, or AERO. And now in a News Nation exclusive, David Grush, an Air Force veteran, former member of that task force and veteran of the National Geospatial Intelligence Agency, is formally blowing the whistle on secrets he says no one has ever shared publicly before. You are one of the most trusted former intelligence officials in the U.S.
Starting point is 00:28:04 defense and intelligence establishment. Yes, I was. You were trusted with the most intimate secrets. And now you've snitched. And now you've betrayed us. There's a gun. You're an alien lover, aren't you? You like little green men so much? Oh, you like greenies, do you? Big greenie fan, aren't you? You like Little Green Men so much?
Starting point is 00:28:25 Oh, you like greenies, do you? Big greenie fan, aren't you? I'm with award-winning investigative journalist Ross Goldhart. He's recording for News Nation and has spent years... No son of mine's gonna be an alien lover. You and that little alien girl going off.
Starting point is 00:28:42 I see you and that little alien girl in the Bronx kissing. I saw you and that little alien girl in the Bronx kissing. I saw you go to the drive-in with that fucking alien girl from down the road. I saw you in the hallway with the alien fella. You think he's your friend, huh? He goes to the alien school, you go to the human school. They've been busting you to the alien school, haven't to the human school. They've been busting you to the alien school, haven't they? Reporting on the UFO question. What conclusion did you come to at the end of your
Starting point is 00:29:12 time on the UAP task force? The UAP task force was refused access to a broad crash retrieval program. When you say crash retrieval, what do you mean? These are retrieving non-human origin technical vehicles, you know, call it spacecraft if you will, non-human, exotic origin vehicles that have either landed or crashed. We have spacecraft from another species. We do, yeah. How many?
Starting point is 00:29:42 Quite a number. You're kidding. No. Yeah, kidding. No. Yeah, that's crazy. I kind of like how you could tell he's not lying, actually. He's had it. He's had it with people telling him that they're not around. He's convinced. I don't know if he's misinterpreting info, but I actually believe maybe some people are very good liars, but he doesn't seem like a liar.
Starting point is 00:30:04 He doesn't seem like he's lying. He seems like he's had it up to here and he's not going to take it anymore. Yeah. I thought it was totally nuts, and I thought at first I was being deceived. It was a ruse. People started confiding in me. They approached me. I have plenty of current former senior intelligence officers that came to me,
Starting point is 00:30:22 many of which I knew almost my whole career, that confided in me they were a part of a program. They named the- You know what I call the CIA? What? The CLIA. Central Lack of Intelligence Agency. Oh, my God. Yes, Stefan.
Starting point is 00:30:36 I'm fired tonight. God. Jesus. He's fucked, dude. Wow. Actually, I have to make an admission. I stole that joke from Meet the Fockers. Jesus.
Starting point is 00:30:48 But female body inspectors, that was you. Female body inspector was me. Okay, good. Okay, I coined it. You can actually look it up. I actually bought, I coined the whole thing. Program. I've never heard of it.
Starting point is 00:31:00 And they told me, based on their oral testimony, and they provided me documents and other proof, that there was, in fact, a program that the UAP task force was not read into. Grush alleges the U.S. government has recovered non- I love, like, the terms in things like this. What did he say? Like, orally? He goes, like, they did the oral testimony.
Starting point is 00:31:23 Yeah. I just like the word oral Being a part of anything They did an anal testimony Anything serious Like I had a teacher We had a teacher In a middle school
Starting point is 00:31:30 Where We all had to Like We had to do something Where we had to go Into another room with her And give Do like an
Starting point is 00:31:37 An oral exam Where we had to We had to speak Like so we couldn't Look at She had to know We had memorized it actually actually, instead of copied it to turn in our homework or whatever.
Starting point is 00:31:48 This old woman would come out, and she'd call every one of us one by one, and she'd go, Jeffrey, time for your oral! She's a fucking... She's a pervert! She had to be doing that. She would always call it the oral. She's doing that. She'd go,
Starting point is 00:32:03 Devin, this room for your oral. She's fucking masturbating. We're all laughing our asses off just talking about people coming in her face. Next room. You guys get done with that oral. That's great. Human craft for decades. He's filed a whistleblower complaint saying he gave what he calls the...
Starting point is 00:32:20 They had to get a bunch of B-roll of him walking, which is really fucking funny. ...to Congress and the intelligence community... I love that. They have to set that shot up. Like, they tell him, they go, no, no, no, go back again. Like, walk to that last street and then walk forward again. And you know what he's doing? He's like, man, I feel like I'm in, like, Goodfellas. He thinks he's in, like, a movie. He's trying to walk as cool as he can. Yeah, he's trying to walk. He's like, don't walk like a girl. Don't walk like a
Starting point is 00:32:41 girl. Don't walk like a girl. He hears, like a girl. Don't walk like a girl. He hears like brothers on the slide. I guess he walks. To Congress and the Intelligence Community Inspector General. News Nation has confirmed David Grush's credentials and resume. We've not seen or verified the alleged proof he says he's provided to investigators. He says he can't show us the proof for national security reasons. He also tells us he's not seen photos of the alleged craft himself,
Starting point is 00:33:08 but has talked extensively with other intelligence officials who have. Everyone that works in the government has a very oddly shaped body. They all have huge hips, like big child-bearing hips. They all kind of look like they, you know, just like very wide, skinny fat people. A lot of hips.
Starting point is 00:33:24 Big hips. In the Air Force, they have those hips people a lot of hips in the air force they have those hips a lot of big hips those fucking krabby patty hips you know yeah that's how the other branches don't have that it's only like air force guys i think yeah air force and like maybe navy guys have like big hips for those those pants they wear yeah but those guys are like seals and shit sometimes oh yeah i think it's air force guys they have why do air force guys have yeah like even if they're sitting all day in planes giant hips fat ass that's why top guns so unrealistic and they're all shredded yeah they're all shredded none of them they should all have bbls in top guys everyone at top guys look like they just got by zion williamson
Starting point is 00:34:03 it's that scene of the dude on the beach but he's got like big pear-shaped hips all right if you're telling us the truth everyone the entire american public has been lied to for decades yeah there's a sophisticated he's so tired bro he's sick of it he's sick of it yep yeah they have you lime. He's like, yeah, they have, you limey fuck.... campaign targeting the U.S. populace, which is extremely unethical and immoral. You are saying to the human race, for the first time, an official intelligence representative at a high level from the U.S. government is saying publicly, we are not alone. We're definitely not alone. Absolutely, the data points empirically that we are not alone. We're definitely not alone. Absolutely, the data points empirically that we're not alone, yeah.
Starting point is 00:34:49 Do we have bodies? Do we have species? Well, naturally, when you recover something that's either landed or crashed, sometimes you encounter dead pilots. And believe it or not, as fantast fantastical as that sounds it's true it's also harder that sounded kind of weird to me on the concept yeah what does that mean we've encountered what it let so suddenly like steam like saying though you know he's saying like yes there's bodies I know but like he his tone suddenly shift is this late is this the first alien we found?
Starting point is 00:35:27 A crashed object from somewhere else? You know, I bet this bitch is like a health director for an entire fucking state. After COVID, they all look like these ghouls. This woman, oh yeah, she'll tell you how to be healthy. Hey everybody, listen to me for health. My hair
Starting point is 00:35:42 falls out. Eddie Dick's mom is now the Surgeon General. Hey everybody, new health director, Ichabod Crane. It's easier to accept that, yeah, we see things in the sky that we can't explain. Journalist Leslie Kane broke Rush's whistleblower story this morning in the debrief. Ms. Kane's career has been mainstream and credible, having written a series of reports on UFOs in the New York Times dating back to 2017. He has the credentials, but there's no documents that he's handed over. There's no pictures.
Starting point is 00:36:13 As a journalist, you want to see documents, you want to see pictures. Does that raise a red flag? Not at all, Brian. I mean, you mean documents that actually describe the craft? Correct, yeah, like documents, or to be able to see it for ourselves. Of course. Don't we all want that? And the problem with that is all of that information is classified. You know, as we said in the story, everything that Grush told Congress and told the the inspector general of both the I.C., the intelligence community inspector general and the Department of Defense Inspector General. All of that information is classified. In 2017, Katie- Hang on a minute.
Starting point is 00:36:49 So they're saying that he has access to the documents and could share them, but he's choosing not to because he doesn't want to get prosecuted? So what it is is like Congress, the AARO, made like a whistleblower thing, which is a congressional thing. They made a whistleblower rule where it's like, if you have information about these black money programs that exist, you can come to us, give us the information, and you'll be free from any retribution. So it's like a whistleblower law they put in there. So this guy's going to Congress, telling them classified
Starting point is 00:37:17 things that they may not have access to. And, you know, Congress isn't going to tell the public that. Why doesn't he reveal them to the public? Because then he's going to break the law. He can reveal it to Congress and not break the law, but he can't going to tell the public that. Why doesn't he reveal them to the public? Because then he's going to break the law. He can reveal it to Congress and not break the law, but he can't reveal it to the public. Also, though, stop being a pussy.
Starting point is 00:37:31 Just go to jail. Release it. That's big fucking news. Get fucking shot, bro. If you have proof, release it and go to jail or get assassinated. Get on Zillow, start looking up caves in Russia, and get prepared for the rest of your life. I mean, Snowden was badass, dude.
Starting point is 00:37:45 Yeah. He gave it to everybody. I mean, Snowden was badass, dude. Yeah. He, like, gave it to everybody. I mean, and aliens. Snowden, I think. He's on tweets and shit. That's hot shit. And with Snowden. He's hot, too.
Starting point is 00:37:53 Like, I want to fuck Snowden. Snowden's a hot fucking sexy piece of ass, and he's all mysterious. He's a man of mystery. Man of mystery, yep. I like him a lot. You know what I mean? Jason Bourne. He's like a Jason Bourne kind of guy.
Starting point is 00:38:02 And who doesn't want to fucking suck Jason Bourne? No, yeah. renner one yeah renner and renner born and i don't want to suck damon whoa whoa what an otter fucking opinion that's crazy it's more suckable to me yeah because he's less threatening than damon born dude yeah i like over i could overpower renner i think no you couldn't he's the steroid barn Do you know anything about born lore? I could easily overpower Jeremy Renner, okay? His legs are fucking broken. Okay? But anyways, so if he had the ability to leak this, even if it would have meant some jail time,
Starting point is 00:38:35 I think he should have done it, because fucking Snowden went to jail or got prosecuted for possibly sentenced for a long time because he was, like, threatening the lives of classified agents. Yeah, he's, like, burning agents, too. Right, so this is a victimless crime. Like, whose life is he risking by
Starting point is 00:38:53 releasing this information? Yeah, countless alien lives. I think it's, like, you know, like, we're back... The thing is, is, like, if we're having problems like backwards engineering these things, like, why would you be scared about China or Russia? I can already hear the comments. Reverse engineering.
Starting point is 00:39:09 I can hear the comments. Yeah, whatever the fuck. Why would you be scared about Russia or China? I don't know what the fuck they have. That's the thing. This whole thing boils down to is the reason we're not getting any answers is because we have no answers. The U.S. government doesn't know what the fuck they are.
Starting point is 00:39:22 Yeah, they don't know. It doesn't know what the fuck they do. It doesn't know how they work. So they're not going to say that because it makes them look weak right yeah if the if what this guy is saying is true i can surmise that they have no idea what they have well they want to find out that you know yeah i'm sure they do want to there's nothing that we don't want to dip our toes into we want to capture aliens and tax them put it to work you know% tax on that big ship. It's an anti-gravity tax.
Starting point is 00:39:48 The Pentagon had a secret UFO program. Three years later, the Pentagon confirmed her story. Her latest report is even more explosive. McCain says she has multiple sources who back up Grush's story. I believe it because of all the sources I have who have told me the same thing so who am I to doubt these very very high-level people who have been inside these programs for decades how about a journalist your job is to doubt people the old hen yeah what did she just say here she was saying who
Starting point is 00:40:21 is why would I doubt any of these sources? Hold on. High-level people who have been inside these programs for decades. It'd be funny if she just wanted a big tangent about it. And no one's been inside of me for over three decades. And I'm a little pissed off. And I'm starting to think the only people that will fuck me are aliens. And that's where we need to find them.
Starting point is 00:40:48 Just a sexually frustrated old bag. Just desperate for alien dick. Have done their work and are all telling me the same thing. I mean, I don't think there's some kind of conspiracy among all these people who don't know each other to make something like this up. So I've got to be blunt about this. You're not making this up. This is not a lie. What a weird question. Why would he lie about that he was dying was lying all right here's the place to say yeah you're right you're right fuck right at the very end of the
Starting point is 00:41:15 segment it's kind of like the Sopranos ending I like to just cut to black I gotta be honest with you you promise you're telling the truth yeah listen your whole ten minute segment it's yeah that's like big lie looking at your face they're going is this guy for real i am for real and i'm you know i'm seeing you at great personal risk and obvious professional risk by talking to you today and just within the last 10 minutes or so yeah like you can't ever work in intelligence news nation about it's weird like the mit like everybody everyone looks like an alien to me now And just within the last 10 minutes or so, the Pentagon has released a statement to News Nation about this. It's weird.
Starting point is 00:41:45 Like, everybody, everyone looks like an alien to me now. All the humans talking about the aliens. I'm like, you're an alien. Yeah, he looks weird. These guys all look like aliens. He's got a zipper somewhere. I bet the back of his head is a zipper. There's a cockroach in his brain.
Starting point is 00:41:57 Unzip it. He looks like their Hispanic Anderson Cooper. News Nation tried to make an Anderson Cooper. Just a giant arachnid in his head. Just like controlling a bunch of fucking gadgets. What they say to date, Arrow has not discovered any verifiable information to substantiate claims that any programs
Starting point is 00:42:16 regarding the possession or reverse engineering of extraterrestrial materials have existed in the past or exist currently. Arrow is committed to following the data and its investigation wherever it leads. Arrow working with the Office of the General Counsel and the Air Force Office of Special Investigations has established a safe and secure process for individuals to come forward with information. All right, nobody cares. Get to the footage. This told him or somebody else has knowledge. That's it, basically. That's it?
Starting point is 00:42:43 Look at this footage. This sucks. This is a terrible, nothing happened. This is bullshit. All week, people were acting like we had to do some UFO shit. It's like, as usual, nothing. Oh, really?
Starting point is 00:42:53 What is that? That's the lights at Dodger Stadium. Beyonce was playing that night. What is that? It's a concert. That's not an alien, okay? It's five lights in the sky. It's fucking fluffy. Okay, that's fucking Taylor Swift spotlight.
Starting point is 00:43:08 Just repeating what somebody else has told him or somebody else has showed him. Yes, that is what he's doing, but he says, four white dots in the sky, guys. Let's devote the rest of our lives to this. This is so fucking stupid. A number of people who are in very, very high level positions.
Starting point is 00:43:24 He also had basically the highest level the rest of our lives to this. This is so fucking stupid. A number of people who are in very, very high level positions. He also had basically the highest level of classified material information that he was able to receive. We went back and checked over, you know, his history, all of his credentials.
Starting point is 00:43:36 He checked out. Checked out completely. Unfortunately, there's only... In addition, a couple people have come forward publicly to vouch for him. People who are high ranking. They have.
Starting point is 00:43:44 They have. And this article first came out this morning. So like the big tragedy of this whole thing, like if what this guy is saying is true, is like you know, if this is in the hands of like a few select you know, aerospace you know, companies, which is what they're saying
Starting point is 00:44:00 it is, is like, this isn't in the hands. Maybe there's some that the government has. But like, it's going to be like Lockheed martin's keeping this in a vault somewhere and like a private city a private company like that is doesn't have to disclose shit to like a general you know right so like if this is true and they have all these like things like we should be putting like top scientists on it but they're being held in like a fucking vault somewhere probably not not being looked at by dumb people but like you know it could change like history and like humanity and shit if we had like you know we're really trying to like figure out so the thing is we're just
Starting point is 00:44:31 probably afraid to look into it because we we we have a good thing going yeah we don't need any yeah yeah you know our booze don't need nobody yeah that is how the probably what i'm looking that's how every single world power would handle it if they had access to this like you know crazy technology that would give them power over other nations why would they ever release it so that is how they would
Starting point is 00:44:55 handle it if they had it we would only want to release we would only want to like make contact with them if we could like arm the aliens start a civil war between them then like a false flag event, then invade. You know what I mean? We'd have to have... They'd have to be useful.
Starting point is 00:45:12 They'd have to be a useful idiot for us. Zelensky gets really jealous. We don't have any use for anything we can't use up and help make people more money. Yeah, if it doesn't do something for them, then they're not going to do it. They're not looking into it. They don't give a shit. We've been treating Middle Easterners like aliens for fucking 30 years. We already have aliens.
Starting point is 00:45:30 Okay? Yeah. They go, and then everyone in Congress goes, bomb them. Bomb them. They have a gavel. Bomb them. Next. What's the next country? I don't know. They look the same. Bomb them. Alright have a gavel. Bomb them. Bomb. Next. What's the next country? I don't know.
Starting point is 00:45:45 They look the same. Bomb them. All right. Well, not too much. Not very interesting, actually. That was bullshit. Boring. Alien sock.
Starting point is 00:45:54 That was kind of cool. That was kind of cool. You're being a cuck. You're being a cuck. You're a cuck, dude. Yeah. I'm calling you a cuck. Who's this?
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Starting point is 00:47:43 God bless. You ever see this? See this story? I don't even know if there's much here, but it was an interesting one. Talk about, you know, aliens. Why aren't fucking... Look at this story.
Starting point is 00:47:51 In 2010, Australian teenager Sam Ballard was drinking with his friends when they saw a slug crawl across the floor. Sam's friends dared him to eat the slug, and after some debate, he decided it would be funny, so he did. A few days later,
Starting point is 00:48:02 Sam became weak and complained of severe pain in his legs. After the emergency room doctors told him that he had contracted a parasite known as rat lungworm from the slug soon after the diagnosis sam fell into a coma where he remained for 420 days dude smoke up bro that's what i'm fucking talking about 420 days hell yeah he woke up paralyzed unable to eat without a tube or move without intense effort. Man, those dabs were strong, dude. He required 24 hours. Devin.
Starting point is 00:48:30 Dude, talk about a dab hit. He required 24-hour care seven days a week. He died eight years later in 2018. Look at how beautiful he was. Nice young boy. Yeah, don't eat slugs. Looked like Heath Ledger turned into a slug. In the second picture, he looks like the cop in Terminator 2 that gets killed drinking
Starting point is 00:48:47 the coffee. By the liquid metals. Yeah. He starts Spider-Man and then he looks like the cop. That's a crazy fucking story. I don't know if that's true, but like. It's true. Rat Lungworm is, you can get it from mushrooms too.
Starting point is 00:48:57 So fucking slugs, slugs are aliens. Type in Terminator 2 coffee and that should do it. Yeah. You're not going to believe how close this is. Go images. Oh, my God. Yeah. It's fucking him.
Starting point is 00:49:13 It's the slug guy. It's the slug guy. He lived. He was in T2. He didn't die. It's a fake story. Fake news. Fake news.
Starting point is 00:49:20 Fake news. Hold on. There was something else. You guys ever see this? you guys have seen this video it's it's it's been around for a while actually those two gay guys in um no i know you love gay guys fighting that's what you watch in your off time i know that's why you haven't seen the sopranos yet because you're busy watching gay guys fighting compilations this is a long torture for devin i I'm going to refuse to watch this. You guys ever see these two gay tourists where they're driving around in Mexico to make a
Starting point is 00:49:49 wrong turn and the cartel stops them? Yeah, I saw this. They're panicking. I have seen this, yeah. We've never watched it, though. No, let's watch it. It's good. It's pretty good stuff.
Starting point is 00:49:56 Oh, my God. I love when they speak Spanish. You got to put it on the thing. What way should I go? Straight or right? Guy on the left is cool as a cucumber. Guy on the right freaks out. He's losing it, dude.
Starting point is 00:50:14 Well, the guy on the left is clearly from Mexico or something, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Bike on this road. Or we're just being racers. Well, I'm guessing because that's why he would stay cool. Right. Oh, my God. The car behind us is kind of scaring me how fast they're going.
Starting point is 00:50:32 Is this common? Yeah. Like, you're in Mexico, you'd, like, rent a car, you're driving around, like, cartel, you can just be like, oh, shit, we're in wrong territory. Don't go in rural areas of Mexico.
Starting point is 00:50:42 Like, I have a buddy who's, he works for HSBC in Mexico City, and, like, he i have a buddy who's uh he works for hsbc in mexico city and like he's he's a super cool guy he was telling me one of his co-workers uncle was just driving in like a rural area mexico this family whole family was fucking raped and killed but like at a checkpoint they'll just fucking kill you they'll just extort you for money you remember what happened in tijuana like a year ago they set the whole fucking city on fire they're locking people into 7-elevens and and lighting the 7-Elevens on fire because it captured some cartel
Starting point is 00:51:08 leaders. It's insane. It's crazy. It's crazy. It's like a fortress city. This city's on fire. It's the cartel song. Kings of Leon. Oh, dude on the right's freaking out, bro. It's not scary. It's like, oh, God. God, it'd be terrible
Starting point is 00:51:25 if the cartel pulled us over and fucked us. That'd be such a nightmare. Oh, it'd be such a drag. He's like, David, why aren't you going faster? He goes, I don't know. It'd just be so terrible
Starting point is 00:51:36 if we got fucked in the ass by the cartel. They're big Mexican cartel cocks. He goes, well, let me ask them for directions. I think I'm lost. Should we ask them for directions. I think I'm lost. Should we ask him for directions?
Starting point is 00:51:49 Somebody needs to slap some sense into me with maybe a big cartel cock. Just cock slap me right in the face, right in the neck, right next to this jungle. Oh, I'd be horrible. Oh, please don't fuck me in the ass. Please, El Chapo, don't. No, no, I don't like this. They're all super handsome.
Starting point is 00:52:06 Oh, God. Oh, it'd be a shame if they were all jacked. It'd be a shame if all those cartel members were hot. They had cool tattoos. I'd hate that. I'd hate that so much, David. Cartel doesn't make me horny. Cartel definitely doesn't make me horny.
Starting point is 00:52:20 I definitely didn't purposely drive here. Look at him. He's looking in the mirror. He like kind of is thinking about it. That's the most deviant sex ever. Cartel sex? Here we go. Go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go. Go, go, go, go, go, go, go! No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, I'll kill you. I'll kill you. You put a salsa on a chocolate chip cookie. It's fucking hilarious. Please, what? They're like, oh, they're gay. You guys homeless cats? We just want, we're just. Do you think the cartel guys felt bad for them when they realized they were gay?
Starting point is 00:53:21 I think they consider gay people like women. We're like, you can't hit them. Yeah, they're like, oh, we can't do anything to them gay people like women where you can't hit them. Yeah, they're like, oh, we can't do anything to them. Well, Rob, you can't hit them. You think so? He's doing the international. You don't think they consider them lower than dirt?
Starting point is 00:53:33 I think no. Cartel members, gay people are accepted? Well, they don't have a lot of respect for women. But I'm saying they get the same status as women. They're not going to hurt them like men. Exactly. You see that crossed arm thing? That's the gayest thing you could do.
Starting point is 00:53:45 Oh my god. I'm just a little angel. Don't hurt me. All that means is X marks. Come here. Come right here. X marks the spot. That is the gayest man of all time. I've never seen anyone be so gay in fear. It looks like somebody paused
Starting point is 00:54:01 a cum shot in a gay porn. A facial. What is the... That that's macabre. That's so macabre. That's so, oh. The porn bloopers? Yeah, the gay porn bloopers. That's macabre.
Starting point is 00:54:13 That's macabre. Oh, look at him. Fuck. Please. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. You're about to pass out. No, no, no, no, no, no. I thought you said the Mexican dude stayed cool. No, the Mexican dude's freaking the fuck out. He was staying cool. Now he's freaking out, dude. What's he pulling up on his phone? What? What? You what? You what? Can we go? I'm lost. What's he pulling up on his phone?
Starting point is 00:54:50 Probably translators. Oh my god. Oh my god. Maybe like Cash App? Please, please. No, no, no. Hey, no. No, no, no. No, no, no. Hey, no. Peace, peace, peace. No, no, no.
Starting point is 00:55:05 No, no, no. No, no, no. Peace, peace, peace. Peace, peace, peace. Peace, peace, peace. Peace, peace, peace. Peace, peace, peace. Peace, peace, peace.
Starting point is 00:55:08 Peace, peace, peace. Peace, peace, peace. Peace, peace, peace. Peace, peace, peace. Peace, peace, peace. Peace, peace, peace. Peace, peace, peace. Peace, peace, peace.
Starting point is 00:55:08 Peace, peace, peace. Peace, peace, peace. Peace, peace, peace. You gay. No problemo. My cousin's gay, too. It's okay. Papa, chill.
Starting point is 00:55:16 We're gonna see mi madre. Oh, good. We'll kill her, too. I know we have her head. They go, oh, is this your'll kill her, too. I know we have her head. They go, oh, is this your mother? They hold up her severed head. It's fun to make fun of people's worst moments in their life from a small basement. No problem.
Starting point is 00:55:41 No, you're a good man. You're a fucking really nice cartel. They're great cartel members. They're great cartel members. They're cool cartel. I just feel, maybe they, I hope they didn't think this guy wasn't gay and they just thought he was like American and now they all think all Americans act like this. They think all Americans act like this. That's the first American they met.
Starting point is 00:55:56 Americans are fucking gay, bro. They're such pussies. Yeah, it's like jizz. It's okay, man. It's okay. I love you. It's okay, man. It's okay. I love you in big little lies, man. You're great in big little lies. Logan.
Starting point is 00:56:14 What's your name? Phillip. Can you speak English a little? I love your interviews on the street, my bro. Your movie. What was it called? I love a bro's. Billy on the street, my bro. Your movie, what was it called? I love a bro's. Billy on the street.
Starting point is 00:56:32 Can we get a picture with you, bro? Me and everybody in Cartel, we love Billy on the street. Billy on the street make us laugh. He is so a fucking gay. A life of... He's a fucking gay I like that He's a fucking gay You have no idea my friend How much we go back to our We go back to our cabins
Starting point is 00:56:52 We love a Billy on the street He's a fucking gay Our cabins Wherever they live Where do they live? Huts? Where do they live? What do cartels live?
Starting point is 00:57:00 Tunnels and shit Tunnels Yeah Tents Oh man So what is this corner that we have for tonight? Oh, it's John's UFO corner.
Starting point is 00:57:09 And we have questions about UFOs? We have a lot of UFO questions. Super excited for really... Never had this big of a reaction to a corner post. So, I'm on Instagram for the corners. If you guys are on Instagram, Joey R. LaFleur, that's where you could submit your corner questions. And I've done a bunch of these now.
Starting point is 00:57:25 And this is by far the biggest response ever. It's relevant. We have our fingers on the pulse of society right now. I'm looking forward to some really in-depth questions about UFOs. Do you have a song for it? Yeah, let's see something. I thought this would be like Kid Cudi, Man on the Moon or something. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:57:43 Okay. That's great, though. John's UFO Corner. Here we go. I never gave a fuck. I never gave a fuck what people thought about me. I mean, I did, but like, I'm retarded. You know what I'm saying?
Starting point is 00:58:01 No. John's UFO Corner. John's Fat and Gay That's the theme of the song as usual Can't comprehend What golden corral isn't open yet I've been waiting outside All night
Starting point is 00:58:14 Every day is Black Friday When you're fat and gay I'm so fat and gay My blood pressure's getting low Need pizza and ribs I need my fat and gay, my blood pressure's getting low. Need pizza and ribs. I need my pizza and ribs. I'm even fat on the moon. I'm even fat on the moon.
Starting point is 00:58:34 How the fuck is this true? It's the moon. You're supposed to be way less on the moon. Not me, though. Cause I'm fat. I'm supposed to be with Wayglass on the moon Not me though Cause I'm fat I'm really fat Catch me posted with my pants full of poo I'm even fat on the moon
Starting point is 00:58:55 I'm fat on the moon I defy logic I'm the fattest man in town Oh yeah I'll be posted with my pants full of poo logic. I'm the fattest man in town. Oh, yeah. I'll be posted with my pants full of poo. Yeah. Uh. People always ask me, like, why your shit
Starting point is 00:59:14 why your shit smell so different? You know, like, your shit like on another level, you know, like, why your shit smell so different? And I'm like, cause I'm a fat gross mess, bro. Yeah. Yeah. All right. Holy shit.
Starting point is 00:59:30 Holy shit. You prepped for that. I, Fat on the Moon I had. I had nothing else. That was great. That was my new favorite song. The Golden Corral thing almost fucked me up.
Starting point is 00:59:38 Say it every week, but that is my new favorite song. That was amazing. Thanks, buddy. Okay, first ever. Welcome to John's UFO Corner. First was amazing. Thanks, buddy. Okay, first ever. Welcome to John's UFO Corner. First ever one.
Starting point is 00:59:49 First question. Fuck, marry, kill. Yeah. And by the way, before I read this, I want to say that I went on Instagram. My post was like,
Starting point is 00:59:58 hey, John takes UFO shit really seriously. I do, yeah. He just bought a laser pointer and he texted me and Devin and he's like, he's like, oh my like, I'm going to communicate with aliens with this thing.
Starting point is 01:00:09 It's like a mile. And Devin and I were like, that's right where the aliens are hiding. One mile away. They're a mile away. That's like cruising altitude. That's where the aliens are in Atwater. Dipshit. But so I said... You think they're a mile in the sky?
Starting point is 01:00:24 Aren't they like hundreds of thousands of miles? No, they go from... A lot of years away. But so anyways... I get it. So anyways, I told them no goof questions. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And so...
Starting point is 01:00:36 I'm sure these are very serious questions. I don't vet these. I don't vet them. I get them, I copy, I paste them. I'm sure these are all very... Joey doesn't look at these. These are respectful questions. Anyways, first question. Fuck, marry, kill.
Starting point is 01:00:46 An Ewok, Baby Yoda, and E.T. You have to fuck one, marry one, kill one. I would kill E.T. immediately. That's crazy. Yeah, I'd fuck an Ewok, and I'd marry Baby Yoda.
Starting point is 01:01:02 Because Baby Yoda's like 300 years old. So you'd marry the child? It's like old, I think. It's better than fucking the child. No, baby Yoda. I'm not going to fuck the child. I could just have like a sexless marriage to baby Yoda. And then it's just kind of like my buddy.
Starting point is 01:01:13 I think it'd be less bad to kill the child than to fuck it or marry it. No, E.T.'s creepy, dude. I want to beat the fuck out of E.T. I've never liked E.T. E.T.'s a... I mean, I don't... I'm not crazy about the movie or anything, but he's so sweetheart in the movie. He's annoying as shit.
Starting point is 01:01:23 I think he's a... I think he's a scumbag. Well, anyways, I guess... Fuck Steven Spielberg, too. I bet that whole movie is like a fucking analogy for pedophilia or something. The Ewok would be nice. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:01:36 A little soft. That whole movie is about like, that's his analogy for Epstein bringing him babies on a bike in a little cart. Blanket. Yeah, in a blanket. Fucking an Ewok is crazy to me
Starting point is 01:01:47 because that's like also, it's like fucking a little beaver or something. Yeah, that's chill. So you wouldn't have sex with a beaver. I don't want to fuck E.T. I love beaver, dude.
Starting point is 01:01:54 I don't want to fuck E.T. or Yoda, I'll tell you that. You don't like beaver, bro? I'm like, damn, dude. Eat some beaver. Next question Ask John Which Halo alien
Starting point is 01:02:08 He would have sex with An elite A grunt A jackal Or a hunter From Nick Ass Oh by the way First question was from
Starting point is 01:02:15 Leo Miller The greatest stand up comic In Seattle Thank you Leo Miller Okay now go get Halo By the way Those guys didn't know each other They didn't communicate
Starting point is 01:02:24 It's just like our fans are on a wavelength together. Similar question. Are they chicks? No. I think because, like, first of all, you didn't list brutes. Remember brutes, the big monkey ones? Yes. I'd fuck, like, a brute chick.
Starting point is 01:02:37 Not enough of him. All right, I'd fuck an elite chick. Not scared of the sword. Not scared of the sword. Dude, the sniper from the Jackal is the worst, bro. That was way scar scared of the sword. Not scared of the sword. Dude, the sniper from the jackal is the worst, bro. That was way scarier than the sword. They, on elite, those fucking jackals would snipe you
Starting point is 01:02:52 from across the map. Yeah. Yes, dude. Those jackals are terrifying, bro. So you'd fucking elite. I'd fucking elite. Next question. Hopefully we get a real one because aliens are in the news and John is an expert. He knows Travis Walton. Okay. No Travis Walton. Okay. No Travis Walton.
Starting point is 01:03:06 Question for Big Gay John. Not a good start. Oh God. And his extraterrestrial fuck fantasies. Okay.
Starting point is 01:03:13 If he was to get probed, would he prefer the ass or the ass? It's a serious question that needs a serious answer.
Starting point is 01:03:20 Love the pod fellas and your coverage on serious and important topics affecting society today from Dana. So you really don't have options. It's ass or ass. I mean, I guess I'm gonna take
Starting point is 01:03:29 it in my ass. Ass, he says. Next question. If if John had the privilege of meeting an alien and he took him up another craft, showed him around a bit, let him see their alien nightclub,
Starting point is 01:03:45 what would John's favorite position be when he was eventually gangbanged, if they call it that, by the whole lot of them from Ben B? A whole lot of them. That's like a little old-timey. The whole lot of them. You'll be gangbanged by the whole lot of them, boy!
Starting point is 01:04:01 I mean, like, dude, I don't know, man. If I had to get fucked by a bunch of aliens, like, are they the little ones? He doesn't say, so it's up to your imagination. I hope they're little ones. You know what I mean? Because they have little peckers. Right, you barely feel it. Yeah, just fucking, you know, just go for it.
Starting point is 01:04:17 The aliens are in John's jeep. What position? Ride them cowgirl, dude. So you're sucking one? Are you jacking? Jacking two, cowgirl, dude. So you're sucking one? Are you jacking? You're jacking two, sucking one, and riding one. Yeah, riding one. It's crazy, dude. Thank you for your answer. You're riding the alien. I'm riding the alien
Starting point is 01:04:34 cowgirl. And you're making your cheeks clap? Yeah, I'm like, I'm reverse cowgirl. Reverse cowgirl? Yeah. So you can watch TV. Next question. John you can watch TV. Next question. John is a galien. A galien.
Starting point is 01:04:51 Yeah. That's the whole thing from Josh. Thank you, Josh. Not really a question from Josh. Okay, next question. How large of a tractor beam would be necessary to hoist John's fat ass off of the ground and into the UFO.
Starting point is 01:05:06 Once inside, how long would it take the aliens to realize he loves getting his anus probed? And would they continue after they realized he's enjoying it from Walter Nichol? Fucking love you, Walter. I love Walter. Fucking cool guy. Yeah, I don't know, man.
Starting point is 01:05:24 I think the tractor beam doesn't, like, I don't know how they work, bro, but, I mean, I don't know if they would stop if I'm, that's the thing. If you started cumming uncontrollably while they're, like, probing you, do you think they would stop? I think they don't care. They're like, we want to. Yeah, it's a scientific thing. Right.
Starting point is 01:05:38 They'd probably be stoked. They'd be like, oh, great, now we have cum data on these guys. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So. Cum data. So, wait, so it would be a very powerful... We don't know tractor beam tech, so we can't answer that, but how long would it take them?
Starting point is 01:05:51 Probably seconds, bro. And then would they continue to do it? Yeah, dude. Oh, they would. Okay, next question. How's this, John, being completely unqualified to answer, how would you make contact with sentient alien beings using any means or technology at your
Starting point is 01:06:08 disposal from Lord Snake? That's a real one. Any means or technology? Yeah. How would I make contact with them? A laser pointer, we happen to know, but let's say you had any... Yeah, it'd be really funny to hit a laser pointer in a big alien eye. That's fucking hilarious to me. But if you had access to any tech... Am I trying to be peaceful? Dude? First contact?
Starting point is 01:06:24 Your only objective is to making contact oh it'd be really funny like shoot them with a shotgun or something the second they got out of the ufo no so he's saying you have to try to be nice to be peaceful no not nice like you like okay your mission is contact aliens contact aliens uh i think like dude uh i don't think there's a point to it. They don't want to be contacted. They're already here, man. Nobody going to try radios? Honestly, I mean, like, music would be cool.
Starting point is 01:06:54 Show them fucking music. You know, blast it out into space with radio waves. Yeah, like play a cool song or something. Just like, what was it? What's a song aliens would like? The Gun Corner song. I mean, the UFO Corner song.'s a song aliens would like? The Gun Corner song. I mean, the UFO Corner song. Yeah, Fat on the Moon.
Starting point is 01:07:08 Yeah, Fat on the Moon. Jeez. We should shoot that into space. Okay, next question. Yeah, yeah. By the way, after this, there's one Bushido Boulevard question I want to get to
Starting point is 01:07:21 because this guy asked it to me. Should we do mid UFO corner or after? After. I just don't want to forget this guy's question because he actually, the advice it's a timeline. He needs the advice quick. Does John think this
Starting point is 01:07:37 disclosure is legit or just another government psyop to distract from how they're fucking up everything else in the world from Steven with a PH? I'm honestly half and half like this could very easily just be an excuse to fucking get more funding for the military as like oh so like uh-huh uh this it could be a big distraction from ukraine i don't know like i'm i also like kind of believe in yeah i agree project blue beam if you want to look that up on wik. But yeah, I'm honestly half and half on this. I don't know what to think of this.
Starting point is 01:08:08 This guy seems legit. Half and half. Half and half. Next question. If he's chosen as Humanities Ambassador, how long would it take John Knopf to convince the dude aliens to grease him up like a walrus and commit acts of sexual violence against him?
Starting point is 01:08:22 From Nate Yenny, our friend. Oh, yes. What's up, Nate? Shout out friend. Oh, yes. What's up, Nate? Shout out, Nate Yenny. What's up, Nate? Annie Yenny and Young Arrow. Arrow kicks ass. John Yenny, what's up? I think, I honestly think
Starting point is 01:08:35 if you're flying around space and going within galaxies, you're probably a sexless society. Low-key. They probably don't give a shit. No, they probably don't. Yeah, they probably breed through tubes and shit. Or they've become crazy hedonists and all they care about is fucking.
Starting point is 01:08:48 No, that gets phased out, bro. Maybe. You can't focus on wormholes when you're fucking. I think you need a break from wormholes and you have to take the edge off. You gotta take the boy hole. Okay, next question. Ask him what it feels like knowing that he is too much mass to reach the escape velocity necessary to leave Earth's atmosphere.
Starting point is 01:09:09 Also, what sort of technological breakthrough does he fantasize about knowing that it isn't even possible to invent the tech that would be absolutely necessary to help someone of his size to escape Earth's gravitational pull? Thanks. My brother Louie said that. Oh, what's up, Louie? Hey, what's up, Louie? Louie listens. Louie LeFleur's premium quality call. Louie's gravitational pull. Thanks. My brother Louie said that. Oh, what's up, Louie? Hey, what's up, Louie?
Starting point is 01:09:25 Louie listens. Louie Lafleur's premium quality call-in show. Louie's fatter than me. How dare you say that about my brother? That's not cool. First off, you insulted him and you interrupted the plug. Say the plug again. Louie Lafleur's premium quality call-in show.
Starting point is 01:09:40 My favorite podcast out there. It's a hilarious show with super good editing and crazily well-produced sketches. Check out Louis Lafleur on Instagram. He makes really funny videos. And I apologize for what you said. You're crazy.
Starting point is 01:09:57 You said he's fatter than you? You're fatter than him. How tall is he? He's fatter than you on Jupiter. How tall is he? Let me see a picture. Last I saw, he was pretty chunky. Well, you're fatter.
Starting point is 01:10:09 And also, he isn't a member of the show where your fatness is like a running joke. He's a civilian. He's not a haywire. I'm going to be tried at the Hague for targeting civilians on this. Okay, wait. So what was the question? What do you feel about being too fat to get sucked up? The technology required and all that stuff. Yeah, I don't know, wait. So what was the question? What do you feel about being too fat to get sucked up? The technology required and all that stuff.
Starting point is 01:10:28 Yeah, I don't know, bro. Fucking, it's... You've been stumped. Next question from Yarmules. Love you, Yarmules. Love you, Yarmules. I called Yarmules hammered last weekend. I was on a crazy bender that ended in me owing five apologies.
Starting point is 01:10:46 One of my... Yarmul was cool about it, but I called him hammered. We talked. He's moving to LA. I was pitching him my art ideas. I'm sure he loved that. It's like one of those things. Jesus Christ. I was a fan of this guy.
Starting point is 01:11:01 It's like Tony Soprano calling Tony B when he's like, I'm going to get a smoothie. And he goes, that's great. You deserve it. It's a way to go back to bed. Okay, you're almost at this question. Being that John is a violent racist
Starting point is 01:11:18 with eyes full of wonder. Yeah. Wow, I'm going to put that on my obituary. Violent racist with eyes full of wonder. obituary violent racist with eyes full of wonder yeah when it comes to the different types of aliens which flavor does he think is more of a threat extra terrestrial or illegal illegal what so so he's asking uh or uh like actual aliens more of a threat or illegal aliens more of a threat? I mean, if you want to get humble about it.
Starting point is 01:11:48 Because he's saying John's a racist. Dude, we don't know what kind of bad hombres are coming over that border. And aliens, we know they would have killed us already if they wanted to kill us, you know? Yeah. Here's a Travis Walton question. Oh, shit, yeah. If John is in the same situation as Travis Walton, what changes? And why is it just
Starting point is 01:12:05 a lot more gay sex with the ETs? From Chad. I can't believe how many responses this gets. Yeah, it's crazy. It keeps going? Let's rapid fire. Yeah, it's, you know, fucking gay sex.
Starting point is 01:12:21 Apparently there was a chick in that one. Apparently there was a chick alien. What would you do, though, if you chick in that one. Probably there was a chick alien. What would you do though if you were Walden? Like how would you If I was Walden I mean like he was fucking freaking
Starting point is 01:12:30 he was like a hillbilly in the 70s dude. How would you be convincing the world? I'd probably be like I'd probably fucking I'd probably I'd probably just like
Starting point is 01:12:36 not let them take me somewhere. Okay. Because that was his mistake. Next question. What are the chances that the UFOs are demonic rather than extraterrestrial?
Starting point is 01:12:44 100%. 100%. Next question. Can are the chances that the UFOs are demonic rather than extraterrestrial? 100%. Next question. Can aliens promote my show in August? On August 11th with the headliner Shane Moss at the Zoetic Theater in Hamilton. Well, that's he just got you. That's a friend of the show. He does like all
Starting point is 01:12:59 the good photoshops. What's his name? Mike Solo. Okay, yeah, yeah. He's a funny comedian. He's a friend of the show and he does like the best, great, he's like always doing Where's he based? Canada. So the shows I don't know, this must be in Canada. Zoetic Theatre in Hamilton, August 11th. Let's go, Mike. There's a couple Canadian
Starting point is 01:13:16 comics that I think are fans of the show. I think Ben Bankus is a fan of the show. Shout out Bankus. Shout out Bankus. Next question. Hypothetical question for John's UFO Corner. How would John go about convincing his newfound alien buddies to overthrow the world governments and install Joseph R. LeFleur as emperor of the world? As it should be. And why must Devin be a sacrifice for this to occur?
Starting point is 01:13:36 And I don't have a name. I forgot to put a name on that one. Dude, honestly, Devin, you wouldn't like... You wouldn't be cool with that? If I what? If I... You died to Joey President of the world. So Joey could be
Starting point is 01:13:48 president. Think about how many people you would save. Why would Devin ever want that? Think about how many people you would save. I better be alive to see Joey be president of the world. You'll be alive in our hearts, Cody. No, I would be selfish. I'd be like, no, if I can't see I would never sacrifice. Joey wouldn't take office if it meant
Starting point is 01:14:03 me dying, I hope. I would never. I would say, first of all, Joey wouldn't take office if it meant me dying. I hope. I would never. I would say, first of all, I don't want office. Oh, you'd throw the town. But if I did want office, I would say, no, thank you. Not for Devin. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Not for Devin, my best friend.
Starting point is 01:14:13 I don't think so. Thank you, Joey. You're welcome. Okay, but the other part of the question was, how would you convince aliens to put me in position? I would get you at, like, 25 white claws deep and then have them call you. Perfect answer.
Starting point is 01:14:28 Okay, here's one. Does John keep the little alien from Men in Black shoved up his ass from Wheelchair Pat? The one that's in the head? No.
Starting point is 01:14:37 No, no. Maybe. I don't know which one he meant. There's a lot of little aliens. I think that's the littlest alien in the movie. No, I don't keep him in my ass. Shadow Wheelchair Pat.
Starting point is 01:14:44 In what? Men in Black. There's a little alien. Oh, right, right, right. Cockro the movie. No, I don't keep him in my house. Shadow wheelchair pet. In what? Men in Black, there's little aliens. Oh, right, right, right. Cockroach guy. Okay, next question. I'm going to wrap it up. John, do you think the reason for cattle mutilations could be the fact that the stone ape theory is correct and aliens are examining cows to understand how this creature could create a fungi
Starting point is 01:14:59 that we then consumed causing the rapid brain growth compared to other primates from Luke Blackmore? I think cattle mutilation is bullshit. Why would they leave the cow here? Why would they? Vaporize the cow. I guess maybe they don't care if we catch them. That doesn't make sense. I do see if
Starting point is 01:15:17 the stone ape theory were true and magic mushrooms made primates evolve more rapidly. And I'm investigating the species. I would go, like, why was the cow? But also those. Because of cow shit.
Starting point is 01:15:33 The mushrooms grow on cow shit. But also, no, that's just fucking fertilizer. Like, they also grow without cow shit. I think the Stone Age theory is just hippie bullshit. So do I. So do I. Okay. Next question.
Starting point is 01:15:44 John is an unidentified faggot object. Not a question. Not a question from Jacob. John, once the aliens started slaving us, how would you make your case to be a house slave? That's a good one. Oh, to be a house slave? I would just hate humans and be like, hey, I fucking hate these guys, dude.
Starting point is 01:16:05 You would be house slaves. You and me just hate humans and be like, hey, I fucking hate these guys, dude. You would be house slaves. You and me. For aliens? What if they're like, okay, there's... Joey can't be a house slave. Joey would be in the fields singing songs and shit. I'd be the worst slave. Yeah, Joey...
Starting point is 01:16:14 I'd be a runaway slave. I'd be a runaway. You'd be Frederick Douglass of fucking alien slaves. Yeah, Joey. You'd be giving speeches in Maryland. But how would you convince them to get into the house? Because there's a lot of guys... I'd be a good boy, bro.
Starting point is 01:16:24 There's a lot of good boys. I'd be... No, no, no, no, no, no, no. What are you going to do? I'm such a good boy, bro. What are you going to give us that the other... I'd make them all their mush all day. I'd make their fucking mush food, and I'd... We have a million guys making us mush. I'd be like, look at my buddy Devin. Look at him, and I'd be like, he's a good boy, too. What is Devin going to do for us? Devin's so good
Starting point is 01:16:40 at being docile. What is he going to do for us? How do I satisfy you? He's not going to do shit for you, Runaway Slayers. He's not going to do shit for you, runaway slave. He's not going to do shit for you. I'm the alien. I'm the alien. What are you going to do to get into the house? What am I going to do? I'd buddy up to them.
Starting point is 01:16:51 I'd be like the house slave. I'd be like, whatever you want, boss man. Yeah. To like the big alien. I'd make them tea. I'd like, okay, so they like your tea enough to let you in the house. Okay, so they like your tea enough to let you in the house. Okay, almost done. Dear John, if aliens have already established some degree of contact by seemingly surveying us and entering into our atmosphere,
Starting point is 01:17:13 why do you believe they would not simply establish contact directly if we already have supposedly recovered their downed aircrafts and possibly organic pilots to those crafts from Joseph Hughes. I don't think they give a shit about the pilots, number one. Number two, yeah, I just think they really just don't care. I think, honestly, okay, if you want my whole fucking theory... John always acts like he's like, dude, I would
Starting point is 01:17:37 say a lot, but like... People aren't ready for it, man. I'm trying to rapid fire. Okay, all these crazy UFO abduction stories happened like 30 years after nuclear bombs were detonated on the Earth, right? And that was really easily read from space. And then they just kind of,
Starting point is 01:17:51 I feel like there hasn't been a really credible, correct me if I'm wrong in the fucking comments, but I don't think there has, from what I've seen, there hasn't been a really credible abduction story in the last like 30 years. So I think what happened is, the second we started detonating nukes,
Starting point is 01:18:03 which is a really good way to sense if this is an advanced civilization from outer space, it was probably like a free-for-all and you had these weird fucking aliens showing up and like kidnapping people and like telling them like love like treat the earth well and then like 30 years later all of a sudden all the all the ufo sightings are now like weird military tic tacs and shit that are really interested in our military technology i think after 30 years some big advanced fucking aliens organizations like don't touch these fuckers anymore. We're handling it. Got it.
Starting point is 01:18:26 I like that. How many inches of E.T.'s finger could John Deepthroat while having his fart box tongued by a xenomorph? A xenomorph? No. Given the opportunity to have a single question answered, what would you
Starting point is 01:18:42 ask? And what do you think would be the most challenging aspect of humanity for an ET to understand? Probably fucking how gay Devin is on the fucking stops. You'd say,
Starting point is 01:18:50 why is Devin so gay? Why is Devin so fucking gay? Why does he gotta go to the stops every night? I'd fucking impress the shit out of these aliens. Oh, you'd impress them with what?
Starting point is 01:18:58 What would you do with your fucking weird knowledge of odd celebrities? Yeah, my humor. They don't understand humor, bro. Tap dance for them and shit. They would figure it out.
Starting point is 01:19:10 I'd do the Charleston. I'd be like, come on, guys. Look at this. Don't kill me. Look at me. Hello, my baby. This one is silly. Okay, next question.
Starting point is 01:19:22 If John claimed he was abducted by aliens, would you and Devin believe him? Also, that fag would definitely moan when he got probed. From Jerry Seinfeld. From Jerry Seinfeld. Jerry Seinfeld? Wow. I didn't know we had such a big listener. I don't remember talking like that.
Starting point is 01:19:40 He's edgy. What I believe, John came up to us and was like, dude like he was dead serious And he was like Dude I fucking I know this sounds crazy But I got abducted What would
Starting point is 01:19:50 What would you say Yeah If I was genuine And he was dead serious He was like genuine I was scared He was like scared And like you could tell
Starting point is 01:19:57 He wasn't joking I'd immediately Bash him Yeah And say He's a fucking retard Who's fucking What's going on?
Starting point is 01:20:05 How much Benadryl do you take? Right. I would go straight to Benadryl. Yeah. Oh, you think I'm back on the bennies? I would just say, like, what's going on with you? What the hell's happening? And then what if he swore up and down I didn't do any Benadryl?
Starting point is 01:20:17 And I was, like, dead sober. Dead sober. And I was, like, coging, and I got abducted. And he started giving us facts. Dude, I was out in the desert. I had, like, four hours of lost time. I would tell, I would go like this. I don't know what I'd do. I'd go, John, just say you're gay.
Starting point is 01:20:33 Now you're bringing up aliens into this? You're so afraid of admitting you're gay? Yeah. Perfect answer. Okay, next question. Oh, two left, I think. John is a UFO hunter but can only search one Uranus. Who's getting colonized? Davin, Joey, or Relapse Richie?
Starting point is 01:20:50 Love the show from Bobby Bad News. MMA collectible guy. Look him up on Instagram. I mean, if I got to do some gay shit, it's going to be done to Richie. Why? I don't meet up with Richie and do a podcast every fucking week, so. Why would you want to do gay stuff to Richie? Because I don't fucking have to do a podcast with him every week.
Starting point is 01:21:06 Oh, so you like him? It's more exotic? Richie's going to be traumatized by the things I do to him. I don't want either of you to be traumatized. You don't see him as much, so you'd be more comfortable defiling him.
Starting point is 01:21:21 Nice question. Last question. Last question. I question. Last question. Fucking finally. And I skipped about 20 questions. That's crazy. It's nice.
Starting point is 01:21:30 There's a lot of enthusiasm for really retarded segments that we do. Last question. Considering a life form from outer space would more than likely be far more
Starting point is 01:21:38 technologically advanced, what type of weaponry does John envision they would have? And exactly how long after meeting them would he shove said guns up his giant gay asshole? From American Dream, high five. I don't know, man.
Starting point is 01:21:52 Like, they might have shit. Like, did you watch that Tucker Carlson interview where he's like, dudes are getting brain damaged by getting in contact with aliens and shit? No. Oh, yeah. There's like... I tell you, I get brain damaged watching Tucker Carlson. I'll tell you that much. Yeah, it's probably like you, I get brain damage watching Tucker Carlson. Yeah, it's probably like some weird shit we can't even fathom.
Starting point is 01:22:10 And definitely something I can't shove up my ass. Can you try to just pontificate? I mean, what do you want me to say? Like a big dildo with a gun? Is that what the fans want? They want a big cock that they use to shoot things? So he gave us a chance, but there was a real question. I just said it's probably like things that we can't even fathom. It's probably things that just make you disappear or some shit like they're like
Starting point is 01:22:28 fucking flying through like worm they're going faster they may have eliminated the need for weapons what do you think it's like yeah i'm not even sure aliens have weapons they might not need anything they just go so fast they know we'll never be able to hit them or anything yeah like speed of light who's to say that if they do have weapons who's to say that they're advanced who's to say they're not using fucking muskets or like fucking rocks they they could you know what if they like have pots and pans like it's like how like the alamo was one they might be so scared of us because they literally haven't like done war in like a million years and they're like these guys still do war that's crazy we don't even kill each other anymore.
Starting point is 01:23:06 I think if they're advanced, they may not have to travel light years. They may not even understand the concept of violence. That might be a strictly human trait. Well, that was the thing in Arrival where they mistranslate the word tool as weapon because the alien weapons
Starting point is 01:23:21 are actually just their tools. But I think like whatever they used to fuel their aircrafts would be enough to wipe out humanity. Probably, yeah. You know what's interesting? Maybe we don't have time for this, really. Maybe I sound idiotic as usual, but if we're
Starting point is 01:23:36 admitting aliens exist, it kind of means that, like... What the hell? God. Are we saying God is for all of us, or just humans? It kind of... Like God. Are we saying God is for all of us or just... It kind of cancels...
Starting point is 01:23:48 Jesus is for everybody. It kind of cancels out God existing for... No, no. I think religious people would say... So would God create... It's all the universe.
Starting point is 01:23:55 Yeah, he created the universe. Why would he create a bunch of green other ones? It's part of the universe. He created everything. Do they believe in God? No. What is their Bible?
Starting point is 01:24:03 They better. They better. What is with you and your religious bullshit, you retard? You're like the biggest savage I've ever met. That's a good point. Yeah, because super religious, or like not super religious, it's very common for religious people to be like, if you don't believe, you go to hell.
Starting point is 01:24:14 Yeah. So how aliens, how could they believe? Or maybe they would say like, well, aliens. I'm saying it kind of throws a wrench in religion. Yeah, you're right. You're right. And we're kind of saying aliens do exist. There is life.
Starting point is 01:24:25 Now these reports are like, hey, we're not alone. Yeah, we aren't alone. Yeah. That's the big thing. So God created them to, no. I mean, it's John's UFO. I agree with you, but John, what is your response? That's the thing that people are always like,
Starting point is 01:24:37 they're not going to release the UFO information because it means God isn't real. It's just like, you know, whatever. Yeah. It means Christians are going to figure out a way to put aliens in the Bible. I don't think we really needed a... Devout Christians, that does, like, basically... They're going to evangelize the fucking...
Starting point is 01:24:49 Yeah, because also they think, like, Earth is new. How does it not? It fucks the whole thing up. Because they're just going to be like, yeah, Jesus created aliens. No, because they won't even... They reject dinosaurs. They reject dinosaurs. Why would they accept, like...
Starting point is 01:25:03 No, they just think Dinosaurs were around Like 6,000 years ago They think we were Riding them Yeah That's the funniest shit They think we were Pulling into saloons
Starting point is 01:25:10 On Tyrannosaurus Rex It was like Woo Settle down there T-Bone That's the dumbest Fucking shit Anyways
Starting point is 01:25:17 Let's get this Bushido corner question Oh yeah So that was the last one Alright one Bushido Boulevard question By the way Who sent us the shirts?
Starting point is 01:25:25 Jason Sheehan? No, no, no. That dude sent us the oranges and the avocados. Who sent us the shirts with the suicide note, but it was a joke? It was like Paul or something. Or Phil? Paul Moritz? Or Phil?
Starting point is 01:25:36 Fuck. He messaged me. They all get caught in the... Did he want a shout out? No, he messaged me saying I was just joking. I didn't mean for you guys to think I was lying. I said that on the last one too. I'm so sorry.
Starting point is 01:25:48 Let me try to find it. You read the question. I'll try to find it. Oh yes, it's Paul. Paul, thank you for the shirt. I love it. Oh, that's it? A couple of them. He sent some really cool fucking shirts. Thank you so much, Paul. And we're sorry that we made fun of your note because we thought you were going to kill yourself. He was just joking.
Starting point is 01:26:04 That was me, not Devin. I didn't think you were. I thought it was serious. Yeah, Joey sent me the message and I was like, Jesus. And Joey's like, man, is this guy okay? Also, even if it was serious, God bless you and thank you for being that crazy of a listener. Yeah, no, truly. But you're a fan
Starting point is 01:26:19 of the show. You know we're going to make fun of you. It makes me feel a sense of power to know that if there's anyone out there we end of the show, you know we're going to make fun of you. It makes me feel a sense of power to know that if there's anyone out there if we ended the show, they would kill themselves. I love that. I marinate in that. Okay, so this one guy When we do Bushido Boulevard, do they want their names out there?
Starting point is 01:26:40 Dylan! Maybe, maybe not. I was going to say first name. Just first name. Don't know if you guys are still doing Bushido Boulevard. However, I, Dylan! Maybe, maybe not. I was gonna say first name. Maybe not. Just first name. Dylan. Don't know if you guys are still doing Bushido Boulevard. However, I do have a question about life and need some insight. Well, you've come to the right place. Three absolute retweets. I just turned 22. I recently had to leave my job as a boilermaker because I began to have serious health issues,
Starting point is 01:26:59 heart and neurological complications. Sorry to hear that, buddy. What is a boilermaker? I talked to this dude on the phone for like 30 minutes. What are you doing? I was bored. You're just calling people? What's a Boilermaker?
Starting point is 01:27:14 He puts whiskeys into beers? I don't know, but I've seen pictures of what they do and they gotta crawl into machines. They gotta crawl in big pipes and shit. It's a fucked up thing. He's a machinist of some kind. It's like you're in a big pipe and you gotta crawl in there and do things. It's like guys that travel to the center of big pipes and shit. It's a fucked up job, right? It's a fucked up thing, dude. He's a machinist of some kind. Hey, it's like you're in a big pipe, and you got to crawl in there and do things in a pipe.
Starting point is 01:27:26 It's like guys that travel to the center of the earth and shit. It's the guys they'd hire on Independence Day. Okay. So he began to have serious health issues. I'm a tradesman, and all of my experience lends itself to labor. And now I'm really in a rough patch. My girlfriend wants to move across the country, and I'm dealing with finding a job here in the meantime
Starting point is 01:27:45 and possibly looking for one where we will be moving. Either way, I'm running out of money. Do I do a complete career change? Do I stay in labor and risk injury to myself or others? Maybe go back to college. I'm at a loss. Thanks, guys. Let Devin go first.
Starting point is 01:28:02 You know, I would put your health first jobs are bullshit there's plenty of them out there uh i wouldn't i wouldn't feel like your identity is attached to you being a boiler maker or you being into man in manual labor person uh or tradesman and as as as as good as you may be at it uh yeah you have some serious uh health issues you're 22 you have a long life to live you want or tradesman and as good as you may be at it, yeah, you have some serious health issues. You're 22. You have a long life to live. You want to give yourself the best chance.
Starting point is 01:28:32 I would move with you. Your girlfriend's probably trying to get you to move to fucking keep you alive and stay. Stop you from doing this dangerous job. Keep you from fucking trying to travel to the center of the earth. Sounds like she loves you. Yeah, she kind of loves you.
Starting point is 01:28:43 She doesn't want you to have a heart attack as you're trying to swim in magma. It's his job. Whatever your job is, I don't know what a Boilermaker is. He works at the final scene of Terminator 2. He gets boiled alive in magma. I just picture him with a hard hat on,
Starting point is 01:29:00 swimming through a volcano. I don't know what that is. But, buddy, your health comes first jobs are bullshit money's bullshit it's just dave and buster's life points we all are under the gun of this ridiculous system we're in the only thing you have is your internal happiness and your girlfriend and the love you have in your life um and yeah i would i think this is this is the lord telling you maybe it's time to make a change,
Starting point is 01:29:27 and I don't know about college. I don't know if, unless you have a specific goal that you need a degree to then have that job, then I would go. If you don't know what you're going to do in college, going to college is meaningless. It's actually a terrible idea
Starting point is 01:29:42 unless you have to go to then get a job. Most degrees can't even get you a job. Most degrees can't. So unless you need this degree to like get a job, you know, we've had engineering friends that have had to go to college to be what they want to be. But just going in general to college,
Starting point is 01:30:00 I think that's retarded. Um, I would, yeah, I would do a career change i mean i don't know what you make i mean maybe you're like oh fuck i make like you know six figures and you know but yeah you're you want to live you know it's your health comes first and uh yeah i would i would move and and uh i get some greener pastures in your life first are you done yeah first thing
Starting point is 01:30:23 i would recommend is looking into like a big workers comp lawsuit hell yeah dude yeah if you can cash in on that do it and fuck everybody if that's an option do it take the money use it to move with your girlfriend to get like a nice situation going and then use that extra money to uh learn a new thing that doesn't risk your health. So whatever it is, I don't know you well enough, but maybe you can dig into some other kind of technology. Learn some other thing that doesn't require dangerous positions that could affect your heart and stuff.
Starting point is 01:30:59 So do that. There's a lot of ways to learn. I don't know if you're interested in it, but if you wanted to learn computer technology, there's a lot of ways to learn. I don't know if you're interested in it, but if you wanted to learn computer technology, there's a lot of ways to do it. You're clearly a smart guy. You probably could. And yeah,
Starting point is 01:31:13 eat your girlfriend's pussy because she sounds nice. She sounds nice. You're 22, too. You're 22. You're 22. That's so fucking young. When I was 22,
Starting point is 01:31:24 I had nothing going for me. When I was 22, I had nothing going for me. When I was 22, I wasn't like, man, my career might be changing. I mean, I had nothing going. My career? Are you kidding me? I was thinking about if I should get the number five or the number six, a jack-in-the-box. I wasn't thinking about anything. Make sure you live as long as possible.
Starting point is 01:31:39 Yeah, it's all about living. So, you know, if this job's affecting your health, focus on that. And, you know, yeah, you might make a little less money, but you'll figure it out. And you have incredible skills if you are good at that. That's a skill set that you could then take into maybe you train people. Oh, sure. That's a great idea. Become a – not an apprentice, but, like, become a guy that, like –
Starting point is 01:32:04 Journeyman. Yeah, I don't know what they do, but like, you know, you could even make extra money going on a task wrap.
Starting point is 01:32:11 You go set up retards fucking desks and shit, you know, show up to their house and some pussy with his Asian wife. You set up his dresser
Starting point is 01:32:18 on his TV for this guy sounds above that, but yeah, he could be a mentor to his less strenuous job. You know, you just, you may have to do some odd jobs for a while, but it'll, it'll work out. Also, he could be a mentor to a practice. I'm just saying, less strenuous job. You may have to do some odd jobs for a while, but it'll work out. Also, don't be intimidated.
Starting point is 01:32:30 Don't be intimidated by computers if that's an option for you because I know people that don't know shit about computer technology that took an eight-month class and instantly got a six-figure job.
Starting point is 01:32:45 Same, same. Yes, never underestimate. If you have a brain for whatever you do, and it's in engineering in any way, or you have to deal with, you could learn how to work on a computer, and you could make a pretty damn good living quick. I mean, one of our best friends, I just met with the Department of Defense for,
Starting point is 01:33:04 because, don't say his name or anything about him, I mean, one of our best friends I just met with the Department of Defense for. Don't say his name or anything about him. Why can't I say his name, dude? That's him. We never thought, I never thought that guy had a brain for computers or anything like that. Hell yeah. I was like, who the fuck?
Starting point is 01:33:21 Out of nowhere, he buckled down and went to school and got like a thing in computer science. And he's fucking killing it. And now he's making, you know, he's making weapons to bomb Yemeni weddings. One of my favorite people, by the way. The best guy. Always something out there. And yeah, never underestimate your abilities and you'll be fine, dude.
Starting point is 01:33:41 Focus on your health. You don't need to. I don't know what you're doing. What Boilermakers are. Also, last piece of advice, stop asking retards for advice. And also that,
Starting point is 01:33:51 like don't go off us. What are you, kidding me? Yeah, are you nuts? But, yeah, it would be fun to kind of like permanently maneuver your life from a... That's my best advice. I find it amusing.
Starting point is 01:34:02 Like, you know, hey, if your life gets even worse, send us, tell us, give us us a... Tell us... Give us an update. Tell us how bad we... How bad our advice was. Yeah, you're done
Starting point is 01:34:10 crawling through hot vents and shit. How could it get worse? How could it get worse? Come on. Your heart stops ticking in a hot vent? Yes. Fucking...
Starting point is 01:34:21 What's that? What was that movie? The Journey to the Center of the Earth? Yeah. Yeah, enough. The Journey to the Center of the Earth? Yeah. Yeah, enough. Or The Core. The Core. Yeah, you're a character in The Core. You're having heart issues.
Starting point is 01:34:33 Get the fuck out of it. Eckhart in The Core? Yeah, The Core, dude. That movie fucking kicks ass. We're gonna watch The Core tonight. I would love to. I love that movie. Alright, um, thank you so much for listening, folks. Thank you for bearing with us on our 100th episode. I know that wasn't the typical Hatewatch episode. I know it was a very polarizing episode for people.
Starting point is 01:34:52 I think people really liked it. People hated it. I completely understand hating it. That was not a typical Hatewatch episode. It was just, you know, it was schizophrenic to watch. Watching us argue and then an old argument and then half clip. It was bizarre. But I think it was a good encapsulation of the insanity that goes on here.
Starting point is 01:35:10 I thought I was going to get fucking cooked in the comments, by the way. Well, you cooked yourself so bad they didn't even want to throw anything at you. No, no. I got a lot of messages like, dude, I love Joey, but I'm so disappointed. Like, dude, I'm fucking, I love Joey, but I'm so disappointed. So what I did was I did this huge, insane, libertarian, anti-government, anti-government mandates argument. And then all the guys that disagreed with me were like, I love Joey, but Jesus, I can't believe he defended government mandates.
Starting point is 01:35:42 So I was, I said a lot of retarded shit, and Devin said even more retarded shit. No, I was completely correct, and everyone agreed with me. As usual. No, no. All right, folks. Should we do another hour?
Starting point is 01:35:56 We are a week one by. You're still refusing. I'll say that I made a pedantic point, and I was obsessed with semantics, and I was being argumentative, and I'm not passionate about any of the things that I made a pedantic point and I was like obsessed with semantics and I was being argumentative and I'm not passionate about any of the things that I said. I'm just playing devil's advocate because I know Devin is
Starting point is 01:36:11 unable to articulate like a real logical argument. So I was just like, let me troll him. And then I responded in one of the comments with my defense. This is pathetic. And so John's a massive cuck for Devin. He's like, oh, let me just suck Devin. She's like, dude, fucking Devin.
Starting point is 01:36:27 I guess you're calling all the listeners massive cucks. That's what it is. No, a lot of them messaged me and agreed with me. They're like, dude, I disagree with both of you, but Devin just wasn't getting what you were saying. You weren't saying anything. I was making a non-point, but you thought I was making a point.
Starting point is 01:36:44 Yeah, because when you argue, nothing. Somebody thinks you're making a point about something. I was just saying the government should stop doing mandates. So I was against the government. We're going to get episode 100 all over again. Sorry, guys. I can't believe I even started it.
Starting point is 01:37:00 Anyway, sorry about the last argument, and sorry for just trying to do another one. I have a real problem. I've got a real issue with my brain. We love you, Joey. We love you. God bless you all.
Starting point is 01:37:13 God bless you all. We love you. We love you all. Joey R. LaFleur on Instagram. John Badman on Instagram. Who gives a shit? Bye-bye. Bye.
Starting point is 01:37:22 Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.

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