Hate Watch with Devan Costa - Young Baby

Episode Date: September 4, 2023

Punk shows, Joey tried getting people into The Comedy Store for free, woman faints after life sentence, pedophile gets caught in the hood https://www.patreon.com/HateWatchPodcast Support the show and get 50% off your Factor order at https://www.factormeals.com/HATEWATCH50 with code HATEWATCH50  

It's good to be in something from the ground floor. I came too late for that. I know. But lately I'm getting the feeling that I came in at the end. The best is over. Many Americans, I think, feel that way. I know the guy. He's like a friend of mine. He's dying. And Joey's like, quick! Quick! Abuse him! Use him! Use him for his laughs! He's dying! Use him!

You sick fuck disgusting hillbilly from the fucking mountains i was like hey let's try to show the one nice thing about john where he's not like because john is like a disease spreading racist jew hater but then like he has he cares about homeless people sometimes i like, show the audience that side of you so they don't think you're just a dirty anti-Semite. I have to keep them thinking I'm an anti-Semite. Just to catch people up, John was just on the phone with one of your... My friend is in hospice.

Homeless guy. Bar patron, right? A bar regular who is now dying, and the doctor says that he has 15% of his heart in use. And you know what? I think he uses 15% of his heart in use. And you know what? I think he uses 100% of it every day. 100% of the 15? Of love.

Yes, exactly. Oh, quite good. I see what you're saying. Yeah. So he, wait, what? I didn't know how bad he was. He's like old school drug addict. Like fucking, he's on methadone.

So he deserves it. Well, you know what's crazy is I talked to him. Sounds like he paved his own road. He used to be in this punk rock gang in the 80s and 70s in LA and I met this dude who also comes to the bar as the curator.

Baxter. You met Baxter. He's the curator of the punk rock museum in Las Vegas. So he comes to Barb semi-frequently. What a punk rock place. Vegas. What a punk rock thing. Museums. Love order.

Is there a fee to get in here? Love fees. They love exploiting themselves for money on the Vegas Strip. That's so punk, dude. But he came in and I told him about the gang that my buddy used to be in. And that guy was like, yeah, those guys are horrific people. They would just stab people at shows and murder people.

And his buddy got stabbed by a bunch of them. Yeah, he would say they'd be at a show and all it took was one La Mirada punk. That's what they were called called to show up with a knife and they would just shut down an entire show. They'd stab seven people. That's the thing about punk shows. They creep me out. We used to go to a lot of them. We went to a few and one time we were

up at the front and you were like, brace yourself and it started and I was literally underneath probably 20 people and my pants came off. Oh yeah. Some guy pulled my pants off i remember no it was just like no it wasn't on purpose everyone was just falling so much that my pants were being dragged off right underneath the sea of disgusting you know stick and poke tattooed retards yeah man that was uh that was a fun terrifying people were throwing beer bottles

at this at the musicians. They're fucking nuts. Why did they put up with this? Because it's punk, dude. They've garnered a horrible fan base. Your fans treat you like shit, guys. Imagine if we did the podcast and all the people on Patreon that abuse us and stuff, they were just right here throwing bottles at our heads while we're recording. Chicken wire.

Just like walking dead. Ugh! Stop asking how long they've done, cocksucker. Stop having to piss. Yeah, so punk shows are creepy. You loved them. I had a fun time. You were big into it.

There's something about being a punk. I just feel like if you're an actual punk, you can never take a nap. Are you ever allowed to just have a sleepy day? That's all they do. They're all on drugs. No, they all nap. If they nap, they have to go nap on a bunch of tacks in the tub. Everything has to be uncomfortable.

You don't see punks wearing pajamas. You'll never see a punk with a neck pillow. Yeah, it's just a rough life they always have to be in shitty vans with all their bandmates and everyone bangs each other's girlfriend and yeah there's also a cigarette quotas every day there's like a hundred cigarettes there's like always yeah they write like their name and like blood from their lungs that they cough up they also are all weirdly like there's like a weird what's with the nazis involved in punk that was weird i don't understand the crossover there so that came from england that came from skinheads were a non-racist punk sect in england and then i think through like prison it got co-opted by anti-semites

or like actual prison skinheads and then so for what like people they started shaving their heads after the non-racist skinheads and then they just became I'm not exactly sure how they got into punk but that was kind of how it started. Original skinheads were into reggae

and shit. Yeah. Which is really weird they'd be into like reggae but that was kind of how it started. Original skinheads were into reggae and shit. Yeah. Which is really weird. They'd be into reggae, but it was also like English skinheads. So skinheads were a response to mods, which were like

what the Beatles were. So the mods would have like peacoats on and shit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It'd be all cool. They were like the lame like Mickey Mouse club. Exactly.

They were like original. And then skinheads were like, those guys are gay. We're going to dress like farmers in England. So they wore Doc Martens and suspenders and shaved their head you queers with your long hair fuck you it was a reaction it was a reaction to the gay beatles pretty much and whenever you have a movement that's like go back to tradition like be like a farmer it eventually becomes

it's a white power yeah so uh yeah i don't like that aspect of it creeps me out i saw that movie goddamn movie green room that was so scary creepy that was so fucking scared of it like he thinks it's like the exorcist why you don't you won't watch green room you haven't seen it yeah you're afraid i was like we should watch green room and he's like it's so gross like it's just such a dude the scene where the dude's getting his arm chopped I was like, we should watch Green Room. And he's like, no, no, no. It's so gross. Dude, the scene where the dude's getting his arm chopped up with a machete and shit. You watch machetes all day on LiveLeaks. I know.

There's something different. When Anton Yelchin in Green Room gets killed by that Jeep, that was insane. When he forgot to put it in park in his driveway. Dude, when that malfunction on the 2012 Jeep Wrangler kills him. Oh, that's what you're making a joke. I was trying to remember when getting killed by a Jeep. It's a joke about his actual untimely death. No, all the death in that movie.

Very sad rest in peace. Very sad rest in peace. Very good actor. All the death in that movie is so realistic. Everybody gets stabbed. It's a very shocking, brutal. Unlike grainy footage in an industrial warehouse accident. Unlike a Chinese guy getting his head blown off.

Yeah, that's funny though. That's funny. That to me is like modern animating. John doesn't like Green Room because white people are getting killed. I don't like Green Room because Nazis are losing. Yeah, that's exactly what it is. You don't like what? I don't like Green Room because Nazis are losing at the end.

Yeah, right. The thing is, is like... The creepiest aspect of that movie is not... I mean, the violence is fucked up, but like just knowing that there's these weird places in the woods where they have these like indie shows and they are all like that. And they're like, you know, they'll have people killed. And that's how they meet. It's very, very disturbing.

That's how they meet. They have compounds and shit and they have like fucking places where only they exist. But that band sucked. Honestly, they deserve to die. Yeah. Why'd they do that fucking places where only they exist. But that band sucked, honestly. They deserved to die. Yeah, why'd they do that song? And then they sang that song like, fuck Nazis or something. What are you, fucking retarded?

What was it called? It's like the worst place. It's like Nazi punks fuck off or something. Yeah, Nazi punks fuck off. They thought that was like a really good move. Yeah, very dumb move. You're going to get killed by Rottweilers. Congrats, you're the ultimate punk.

We're going to chop your arm off. Yeah, it was a great movie. It's a great movie. One of my favorite Siege films of all time. Professor X is the fucking head Nazi. So good. That is sick. Yeah.

That casting kicks ass. He was evil. I've never seen him do anything like that. Yeah. That would have been cool if he brought that character over to Logan. Like when he's in the X-Men movies. He's a Nazi. He's like, no Jews, Logan.

He actually hates Magneto because he's Jewish. Oh, man. Yeah. Good movie. So, Joey, I heard you had a little time at the comedy store last night. We did. And you know what? This is one of those things where I, right now, don't think I did anything wrong.

But I'm open to hearing other sides. The ODD has moved to the next day i can do a play i love when he wakes up with the odd okay so let me do my version first yeah do your version and then you could do yours after so uh john and i went to the comedy store went with her girlfriends and i've never had to pay to go into the comedy store my life have you no no our friends just let us in. We have like five friends that work there, right? Yeah.

So it's like Alex, Hannah or Hannah? Hannah, I think, yeah. Luke Schwartz and then Ben Branford. Ben Branfin. Branfin. Yes. He was there. Sorry about that.

I talked to him for a long time. He's a great man. Good guy, yeah. Wants to hang soon. Love that guy. And then so- Matt Lockwood, a lot of people. Yeah. So anyways, I always. Good guy, yeah. Wants to hang soon. Love that guy. And then, so... Matt Lockwood, a lot of people.

Yeah, so anyways, I always go, hey, Luke Schwartz just said, if they try to stop me, usually I just walk in, but if somebody stops me, I go, hey, Luke Schwartz said I could just come in.

Name dropping Luke Schwartz. Yeah, I just say Luke Schwartz every time. Because he's been there for fucking 15 years now or something. Yeah, he's worked there for a long time, yeah.

But so anyways... Luke has worked at the Comedy Store so long that when he got married, he instinctively started leading people to their seats. But so I get stopped by a security lady who's working the back

door. It's not even like a regular door girl. It's like a security security's at the door for some reason. So she stops me and I say, hey, I'm friends with Luke. I didn't realize she was security, or I thought security must know Luke too. So I'm like, I'm friends with Luke Schwartz. And she's like, fuck, kind of flustered.

And she's like, oh, I got to let all these people in for free. And they were trying to charge us $25 each or $35 each. Insane, yeah. So I was like, fuck that. Oh, you guys were with people, though, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. So it wasn't just you two. So yeah, then it starts to become like, oh, we're kind of giving away like a hundred bucks

if we do this. That's what they're thinking, right? I mean, no one wants to spend a hundred bucks to watch, you know. Fucking Jeremiah Watkins. You could have said somebody a little more famous that deserves it, you know. Whatever. Joey's just shitting on hard-working young comedians. Watkins was there, by the way, and he kind of pissed me off.

Oh, that's why you said it. Yeah, that's why I said it. Well, he's a really sweet guy. What did he do? He didn't do anything wrong. I'll tell you. I'll explain it. So anyways, security guard goes in, and she sees Jeremiah Watkins standing in the hallway.

And she just goes, like, she kind of goes, like, do you know these guys? Is this, like, a comedian? Can I let him in? Kind of just, like, looking at him like that. And Jeremiah Watkins goes like this. He's like, he sees what she's doing. He eyes you? No, he looks over at me.

He looks back at her, and then he just goes straight. He just looks straight ahead, just like. Oh, wow. at me he looks back at her and then he just goes straight he just looks straight ahead just like oh wow by the way i've met him once or something and it was just like we were in a circle at a mic and he was just like hey guys like gotta go that we didn't ever say hi to each other jumped on a saxophone and flew off uh he's like yeah kelton he's paying me25 to drive to the improv. He's a good guy. He doesn't remember you. He just thought you were some maniac trying to get in for free.

He should not have let me in or anything. He should not. Now you're reluctant. You're like, he made the right call. He seems like a really good guy, actually. I don't know why I'm attacking him. It just felt rude. You blanket kill everybody at the comedy store. Yeah, yeah.

This is great. Let me crack up for a second here. This is awesome. Everyone at the store is dead to Joey right now. I feel like that Michael Jackson meme where he's eating popcorn. But then Watkins iced me out. So then she looks at me and she's like what'd you say luke schwartz i'm like yeah yeah luke schwartz and then she goes like all right let me go get him

and i'm like oh shit luke's here perfect right i'm in this is great she comes back with this random guy and he's coming she comes back with a rabbi no she comes back with a guy and she and the guy just goes sup and i'm just like so that's thing because i've met luke schwartz like a few times and i remember being like the guy she brought back was like jacked and tall and i was like is that i thought it was just some guy saying hi i didn't even realize that she thought that was luke schwartz yeah so i'm just like sup and then she's like this is luke and i'm like no luke schwartz i don't know who this guy is yeah and then i still don't know who that guy was. And he's just like, oh, weird. I don't know. And then he walked

away. Like, she just found a guy named Luke. She must have just walked into a room and been like, hey, buddy, Luke. Luke. And he was like, I'm Luke. He like shook your hand. Nice to meet you. I should have been like, hey, yeah, thanks. Let's go in. That could have been a move. Yeah. That would have been slick.

But he seemed very confused. And I didn't want to mess with him. He was just a good guy, you know, having a, probably on a date at the comedy store, got thrown in by the security guard. No better place for a date. But so, so then they go, she escalates to an actual door girl. It was this girl that looks like Jaden Smith. Yeah. Okay. And. You know, this girl that looks like Jaden Smith. Yeah. Okay.

And it's a man. It looks like a young boy. You know the Time magazine cover where it was like, this is what people are going to look like in 300 years and everyone's just one race. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like kind of a sexless. No, she was kind of.

Androgynous. Kind of. Sure, sure, sure. Like light-skinned, blonde, black lady, basically. But so then she comes, and I'm like, yeah, so Luke Schwartz told me that I could come in. And she's like, I'm in a group text with Luke, and he didn't say he would have posted that in the group text. Yeah, you're not on the list. He would have posted it.

And I was like, I'm like, well, he just, he didn't, I didn't talk to him today. He just told me like anytime I come here that I could just go in and say that I'm with him and then sit where, if there's seats. Right. And she was like, well, can you prove that you know Luke? And I'm like, you want me to like show you his phone number? Like on my phone, save this as my contact. I'm like, here, there you go.

I'm like, here's Alex Hanna. Here is Ben. I just talked to Ben. And she's like, no, there you go. I'm like, here's Alex Hanna. Here is Ben. I just talked to Ben. And she's like, no, you have to call Luke. And I'm like, it's 1130, and Luke has a young baby. You want me to call Luke and wake him up? Are you nuts? Man.

I'm like, why do you hate Luke? This sounds like when I tried getting into Jackass 2 when I was a kid. The theater made us call our parents for permission. Yeah. No, I would have been like, I'm friends with Steve-O. But so then Luke goes straight to voicemail and he's got like a wacky voicemail. I'm like, see though, that's his voice.

You know, Luke. Well, it's very funny because this morning in the group text, Luke, you mentioned what happened. I tried to name drop Luke to get like six people in for free. And then Luke goes, oh, that's why you called me. LOL. He goes, sorry, I was in bed taking care of my new daughter. And then I tried to blame the door lady.

I'm like, she made me call. That's what I said, Luke. I said it was crazy to call you with a baby. And he just did like his Luke sarcasm emoji. Yeah. Well, you in the group text, well, Keith was very funny. Keith goes, she should be old enough

to fend for herself now, Luke. She's like eight weeks old or something. Poor excuse. And then you go, I said, it's pretty crazy you're making me call Luke. He has a young baby. Yeah, yeah.

I love the word young baby. He's got a really old baby. Then say what happened, Joey. Were you drunk? Were you getting it? Not that drunk, though. Were you lit? I was pretty drunk.

Yeah, I was pretty drunk, but I remember everything. Okay. So then I'm like... He's getting frustrated. So it goes straight to voicemail. And what are you doing, John? I'm standing on the wall laughing. You're just laughing? I'm laughing. I'm with the so it goes straight to voicemail. And what are you doing, John? So I'm standing on the wall laughing. You're just laughing?

I'm laughing. I'm with the gals laughing. So it goes straight to voicemail, and now she's just like, she goes like, just because you have his number, that doesn't mean that he said this. This is an insane amount of work to just not let somebody in. No, at some point then I'm like, how much does it cost? And I'm like, five bucks? I'll just pay to get out of this.

And she's like, no, it's like $35. And I was like, fuck it, I'll wait this out then. We'll keep doing this. That was the best line. I'll wait this out. It's so funny, because it's such a commentary. You're at a place that has live comedy, and you're like, but it's not worth paying for.

This is disgusting. These people stink. It's just so obvious that I don't respect the comedy store too. Yes, you're literally just there to show it. You thought you were going to have the Goodfellas scene in the Copa. No, it's just like $35.

I was saying Joey thought this was his Goodfellas scene. And he always is. He's leading his girlfriend through the kitchen. He's like, hey, what's up, Mikey? I did that. The guy with a bunch of mint coats is like, hey, Joey. They pull out the table and they put the lamp on it. Joey's at the front.

Hey, Brian Redman, is that you? Yes, man, I thought it was. And he told me to dance. Passing by Brendan Schaub crying. So now she's going like, she's getting more and more crying. So now she's going like, she's getting more and more aggressive and she's like, I don't even know if you,

who talks to people like this? Who comes to a place like this and talks to people like this? She didn't get it. She didn't get it. She wasn't getting it. And then I go, well, I don't understand

how your customer service could be this bad. If I worked at a place and I told my friends that they could come in and then my coworker treated them like this, I would be furious at my coworker. You're being really rude, actually.

And then she's like, that's not going to get you anywhere. Now it's just pure. Now you're just like, now it's ODD. I'm like, I don't even want to get in. I'm just going to win this little dispute. Now you're like, let's burn this mother to the ground. Exactly.

You're trying to rally people aside with you. I didn't even want to go in. You start siphoning gas from a car. You grab somebody's cigarette. So then she starts going like, I bet you don't even know Luke. Like you met him once. And I'm like, look, okay, here's a group text that we've been in for like 12 years. And I'm scrolling and I'm like,

look, look, look. And then she goes, she goes, get that phone out of my face. And then I take a step back and I, this is where I made a mistake.

Oh, okay. I take a step back and I go, the other security guard comes out. And now I start kind of going into Saul Goodman mode. Where I'm like, can you guys believe this? She's accusing me of not knowing Luke. She's demanding that I show proof that I know Luke.

I go, then I show her proof and she goes, get that damn phone out of my face. And I gave her a really black voice. Oh, no. She didn't talk like that at all. You fucking turned into Don Imus. And then she goes, I got it all. And you're like, this is a nappy-headed hoe not letting me into the comedy store. And then she talks like you or I.

Like, there was no back It was just like a little sass You fucked up a little bit I knew I wasn't getting in We've all been there Everyone's done that Everyone's done that So then

So then Like a bunch of people started laughing I'm busting I'm fucking This kicks ass I wish I was fucking i'm laughing my fucking ass off i don't know if she's a comic or if she hangs out with funny people all the time at least she's probably you think she has a better sense of humor well no she she probably thinks like is she wearing a comedy star shirt she's security no no no no j. The Jaden Smith chick was a comedy store shirt.

Oh, yeah. Word, word, word, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That probably is a comedy. They pulled her to deal with Joey because that lady, they're like,

okay, get away. This lady's going to deal with you. So they brought out the actual door lady. That was her. So now I say that, a bunch of people

start laughing. I think that sort of threw her off because she's around funny people all the time. She probably didn't expect me. She doesn know like I do anything involved with comedy. I'm just like a rude guy. Yeah.

Who's now getting everyone to laugh at her. And I'm like kind of dominating her. Right. And then she's dominating her. Kind of dominating her. And then so she goes, well, now you're really never getting in. And I go, I don't give a fuck. This place sucks. That was my this place sucks that was my favorite part

that was my favorite no no you go you know i don't give a fuck and then he goes come on and he goes this place fucking sucks anyways and walks out that's so funny to say that about like one of the most historic places this place sucks like it's a new restaurant Like Indy Coffin Yeah Oh it's so funny David Letterman Richard Pryor's been there Like this place sucks This place sucks Who thought a comedy store here

Would be a good idea The location's terrible So that was it You guys didn't get in No And now we just left There was We went to the Rainbow, which kicked ass.

Oh yeah, that was the one we watched. The Rainbow's the best. What is that? The Rock and Roll Bar. Where Lemmy used to hang out. Like up Sunset? That rapist porn star, what's his name? The one who... Burgundy? Ron Burgundy. Ron Jeremy.

Yeah, Jeremy's staying out there. There was a definite point. Is it near like the Viper Room? Yeah, Jeremy's staying out there. But there was a definite point. Is it near like the Viper Room? Like that area? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I think so. There was a definite point where you could have gotten in. But the ODD took over.

No, we could have paid to get in. No, no. You could have gotten in for free. Oh, sure. But the ODD took over. I really didn't want to go in. I was just like, this is a cool place for us all to hang out. Yeah.

I imagine the Al Jolson mammy impression really was the tipping point. If you just... You were extremely charming at the beginning and then it just flipped. As soon as she said, who talks to people like this? That's when I was like, fuck you.

Even if she was right and she had a good point, you weren't being crazy. You weren't being crazy. I wasn't being crazy. You weren't. You weren't. But it was just like one of those things where it was just like she could have been like, these are the rules. Like, we can't allow people in because, you know, we have a policy here that I can't control.

If the person won't respond at the thing, we just can't do it. But instead, she starts like shaming my character. Going like, who would talk to somebody like this? Like, she's my mom. That's happening. Yeah. We just can't do it. Yeah. But instead she starts like shaming my character going like, who would talk to somebody like this? Like she's my mom. That type of thing. Yeah, yeah.

And I'm just like, I don't need to hear that from you door lady. You don't need that camp counselor, you know, staff vibe. So then I had to spit it on her

and be like, look how fucking bad you are at your job. You suck, you know? And then, you're black. Look at you. You're black, bitch.

You're like, what, you can't're black, bitch. You're like, what? You can't take a joke? It's the Comedy Star. I'm doing comedy on the patio. Turned up Michael Richards. That was insane, man. Man, well, the Comedy Star's got a weird, dark vibe. There's a lot of ghosts there.

As soon as I got there. I feel like I activate, like, like i turn into the wolf man you know i got kicked out of there like a year like i got kicked out of there like three days after jack died i know what happened i was i walked into the parking lot to leave with uh who i came with and and uh this well we could tell this well forget it but like but like i i yeah this they hired a bunch of like security after covid where you remember how every place had security that was like it was like the replacements or something it was a bunch of mercenaries working security i got shot in the

head is why this dude got shot in the head of the comedy store that was years and no i know but i think they said like after that they were like fuck, we're doing a guy with a metal detector. Sure, maybe, but that was so long ago. This was, like, so far after that, but, like, I think during COVID, like, you know, Red Line, all these places all of a sudden had different bouncers, and they- But this guy had, they have the wands. They have the wands now, and they do that shit, but, like, so this guy was, like, already crazy to me when I, like, got there, and I was like, all right, relax. Like, what the fuck?

He was, he looked like Su all right, relax. Like, what the fuck? He looked like Suge Night's guard. Like, he just had that face, like that fucking murder face. He got fired. He got fired. Oh, I didn't know that. Apparently he got fired,

but not for that, but he got fired later on. He was fucking... Because he was like a control freak. He was like a hinge. Power hungry man. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And that night, you know, I was not in the best headspace i was there it said it said rip my good friend and i couldn't i still couldn't like comprehend that we were everybody was devastated i went there to just you know you and i went there and and uh it was okay but i remember like a i remember like a waitress treated me like utter shit i was sitting in the back of the main room watching just like wasting time and this waitress put down like a bunch of drinks and i go are these mine like these aren't mine and she was like she

didn't say anything and they grabbed them and then like i i was like okay sorry like and yeah and then she she walked she said something cunty to me like really i forget i don't remember but she said something really cunty to me and i was like all right bitch and then she left these drinks on the table to then she was then she walked into the sea of people to bring them to people so i was like you know what you take your phone and then and then a guy i knew that worked there goes dude she's a fucking asshole like don't worry about it like he works there he's like a bad comic that works there and he he says something i was like yeah yeah and then i and then i looked down at the drinks that she was about to serve, and I grabbed a beer, and I chugged it. I chugged it. I chugged it. Dude, fuck yeah.

As she was in the sea of people, and then I walked out like, fuck you. Yeah. Good shit, man. So it was a little wild night, but then at the end, the guy attacked me for trying to walk into the parking lot and came up to me and got really aggressive and in my face, and I'm like, I'm leaving. I'm with him. I'm leaving.

So the guy that we were leaving with had a really nice car, and Devin was hammered, and he was just sad because we were basically at had a really nice car, and Devin was hammered, and he was just sad. Because we were basically at a funeral sort of situation days after our friend died. And so he just looks kind of deranged and sad and crazy. I've seen that. So I think he sees that guy walking toward a nice car, and he just does like, hey, sir, what are you doing? And Devin was just like, fuck off. Get away from me.

Also, that's never been a thing. I had been going to the comedy store for seven years prior to that to that this guy was you were you were allowed to walk into that this guy was terrible battery it was terrible yeah he got really crazy and then i just flipped the fuck out started screaming and then like a whole circle of people formed and watched like mark mara all these people were there watching me like scream at this guy i'm like yeah get out of here judge dread you fucking asshole i I remember seeing Bobby Lee, all these people watching me flip out. I swear to God, Bobby Lee was just peeking around a corner

like a fucking monkey watching me. I'm yelling at this guy, and then I look over, and I'm like, oh, look, it's millionaires watching me. It was pretty crazy. But yeah, that place it kind of sets me off. I did the same thing. I saw Ben Branford and I had that video that somebody

found of Mike's giving a long time ago. Where it's all Jack sitting on the couch with you. And Ben was there. Yeah, me and Keith were like, I was fucked up in the back smoking weed with Keith. And then in the corner, Ben was just sitting hilariously just chilling. Ben Branford, not Ben Avery by the way. Yeah, Ben Branfin. So I showed him that

video. We talked about like instantly just started getting into Jack stuff. It just sets the weird tone every time now. It's impossible to be. I have a hard time even seeing people hold microphones like on stage without thinking of that fucking asshole. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a very creepy part of Sunset.

That like whole section of Sunset's cursed. It's got a dark vibe. They have to fucking, they Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a very creepy part of Sunset. That whole section of Sunset's cursed. It's got a dark vibe. They have to fucking... What is the bar next? What is that shitty rodeo-style bar? The Saddle Ranch is right down the street. You and I got hammered there before the memorial.

Yeah. And there's just drunk whores riding the fake mechanical bull. Yeah. And people cheering. And it's Vegas. That little strip is Vegas. Yeah. And people cheering. And it's a, it's a, you know, it's Vegas. That little strip is Vegas.

Right. And that, the Saddle Ranch is like, I will say, the least, I don't want to, I don't want to say it's a pretentious strip,

but like, there's something charming about that Saddle Ranch place. It's charming because it's so tacky. It's big tacky and it's not, it knows it's tacky

and there's never a line because nobody fucking goes to it. Yeah. There's a million open seats. It's also hilarious.y, and it knows it's tacky, and there's never a line because nobody fucking goes to it. Yeah. There's a million open seats. It's also hilarious. They have, like, a valet for, like, the dumbest place. Oh, yeah. It's, like, a massive lot.

They have, like, 300 spaces, and no one goes. No one goes. It's crazy. Yeah, it's incredible. Yeah, the whole section, the whole, every bar there is very, again, like, kind of semi-charming, but there's, like, again, like, the rainbow. Like, fucking, there was a famous rapist there for years it was just like fucking raping women and shit like in

the viper room and like there's so much death has happened just west hollywood's a very eerie weird place how do you write a story in west hollywood it's crazy uh i mean it's west hollywood almost beverly hills like if you keep driving you're you know you're at the beverly hills hotel and you're in beverly hills but like yeah it's west ho. But yeah, it's West Hollywood. It's where that fucking guy was drugging and killing black men and then throwing them in the garbage cans out in front of his apartment complex. Who? Ed Buck. Ed Buck.

Oh, shit. The Democratic Party guy. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Fuck. The Democratic Party guy. He would force young black men to OD in front of him while he jerked off and then would just dump their bodies in front of his house

and eventually the city was just like, hey, we keep finding a lot of dead guys in front of your house that are ODing and they had to,

they basically. And the city's like, you know, I mean like one or two is normal, but like now we're at like five. And Buck's like, hey,

this killer should find a new spot to dump them. Anyways, I'm going back to bed. Anyway, he's holding a syringe. He's got a to bed. Anyway, he's holding a syringe. He's got a bloody ass. Yeah,

he's got medical gloves on. He's like, anyway, I gotta get back upstairs to Jamal. He's like, he goes, he goes,

you don't have a bone saw, do you? Okay, never mind, never. He has to police for a bone saw. He's like,

no, Senator, have a good night, we don't serve. Bro, we've had so many wild times at that, I mean, the Comedy Store has been a, it's a very, I don't know,

it's like an, maybe enigma's not the word, but it's just on any random night, like it could, it just, it's something, the evil takes over you. There's so much history in showbiz, which is already a hedonistic industry, and then it's in West Hollywood, which is a den ofonistic industry. And then it's in West Hollywood, which is a den of hedonism. And it's full of tourists.

Tourists and fucking perverted sex and coke and drugs and just every excess that you could imagine. They've concentrated it into this gay little block. Two miles. It's a wild place. It's an island of misfit toys. It's very good. Yeah, yeah. Two miles. Yeah, yeah. It's a wild place. It's, you know, it's an island of misfit toys.

Very good. Yeah. So that was it. You guys just left. That was that end of the show. Yeah, we just left. Yeah. The idea of you calling our friend

who has like a six-month-old child. I was making a big show of it, too. I was like, you're making me call him with a little baby? You really, you're sick. You're sick for making me do this.

You're disgusting. Were your gals upset that they didn't get to go? They were laughing. They were laughing. They didn't really give a shit. I think it was just like, I was like,

what should we do? Because me and John have been hanging out together with our girlfriends every day for a week straight. For like five days straight. So we're just running out of shit to do.

You guys are, it's like I Love Lucy. Yeah, it is. Fred and Ethel guys are, it's like I Love Lucy. Yeah, it is. Fred and Ethel. It's a perverted I Love Lucy. We have like a perverted little new family. The degenerate I Love Lucy. Yeah, exactly. But no, so like I took her

to the comedy store before and I did get us in and it went fine. Another crazy waitress though. Maybe the same one that fucked you over because she was fucking nuts. And I walked out to the door guy that we know and I was like, what's wrong with that lady? And he just goes, oh, everybody hates her. She's a bitch. She just fucking pissed off Tom DeLonge like an hour ago.

Why don't they fire her? Oh, wow. Really? I think it's just hard to hire good. Well, pissing off Tom. Tom DeLonge grabbed her hand and was like, you're alien, aren't you? But so, no, they didn't really care. And we had a good time.

It is so funny because it's like... They were laughing, too. They thought they were laughing harder than John. That's a great L.A. moment. It was funny. That's great to witness. It's also funny to watch their boyfriend be like... Not there.

You're not dating two of them. Yeah. But it's also funny to watch a guy be like nah i like no people here and then like have a really difficult time getting in and they get into a fight by the way i wasn't like i've been totally transparent about it with my girlfriend i'm like hey here's what we're gonna do we'll go i might know somebody i'll try to get us in for free if not whatever we'll just pay so it's not like i'm like hey fuck it sugar tits but then but then so many things happen's not like I'm like, hey, fuck it, sugar tits. But then so many things happen. You're like, I'm not paying out of principle.

No, then it went, it was still very funny because it went way off the rails and I did look like, it looked bad. Like, they gave me some shit. Like, my girlfriend has been giving me shit about it. Nice. Good. Not good. That's a great thing for your girlfriend

to do. She needs to whip you into shape. I think she should side with me on everything. You could have. They were dicks. Black people sound all wacky. It's funny. It's funny when you imitate them. That was a perfect impression.

You should imitate them to their face. That was great. Honestly, if you didn't imitate that woman, it would have been a way worse night. Right, exactly. That was the funniest thing. Everybody laughed really hard at that. It's also hilarious that it isn't really worth $35

plus a two-drink minimum. What? Fuck that. We were drinking. If you guys paid and got in like that, you have to buy drinks. That's cheaper than like seeing Duran Duran like what the fuck

I know that's insane and that's the funny thing is like if you don't if I didn't get in for free there I would never go it's like it's cause I don't

you walk past each room you like you walk past the OR and you look up and there's a guy doing an impression of a bunny rabbit and you're like wow really worth my money

and you walk up to the belly room and there's just a guy being like faggot tranny and you're like alright well that's an interesting room walk up to the belly room, and there's just a guy being like, faggot tranny. And you're like, all right, well, that's an interesting room. You go to the main room, and like, yeah, Gabriel Iglesias

is eating like 30 Twinkies at once. You're like, wow, I guess, really glad I paid $80 to be here tonight, plus parking. The idea that paying, they wanted me to pay, was like an outrage to me. That's insane.

I'm like, nobody, You're kidding, right? Like, nobody pays for this. Only people from fucking like Norway, you know, just got to L.A. Oh, my God. It's only $35. Oh, the famous. Once Jeselnik made the rape joke. Yeah.

That's great. What a story. It was fun. when I read that this morning I was like oh I gotta hear about that it was good it was great

oh man I had a fun night that's sweet that's sweet sweet stuff what do we hate watching Debbie I mean you know

what do we got it just never ends there's so much fucking body cam footage on the internet that is so wacky and funny but before we get into that I really have you guys ever gone down the rabbit hole There's so much fucking body cam footage on the internet that is so wacky and funny.

But before we get into that, I really... Have you guys ever gone down the rabbit hole of watching people get life sentences? No. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I have, I have. And freaking the fuck out. I haven't seen them freak... And acting like they never did anything. They didn't see it coming.

They have no clue why this is happening to them. Dude, fuck this. Sir, you killed your kids. Did you guys ever see the lady that fainted? You annihilated your family. You drowned your daughter in gasoline. Did you guys ever see the lady that fainted? She killed her kids.

She drowned her kids and fainted. This video just cracks me the fuck up. It's a great transition from the comedy store. Look at her. She's looking around at her lawyers. I'm pretty sure she killed her children. She's looking at her She's looking around at her lawyers I'm pretty sure she killed her children And she's looking at her lawyers She's looking around like

She's looking at the jury like Are you guys hearing this? Does the judge have the right case? She's like Somebody killed their kids. Per in eight, per in one. Dated 11-13-17.

Signed for prison. Look at her. She's dressed like she's in fucking Mad Men. She has the exact fucking face of every lady that I think would kill their kids. 130%. She doesn't know where she is right now.

No, she doesn't know. She's flipping the fuck out. She thinks, because look at that coffee pot, she thinks she's in the lobby of a rat asylum. She thinks she's at an event. She's like, I can't wait for this event to end so I can go drown more kids. This is the weirdest continental breakfast

I've ever been to. Attempted murder of Greg Mulvihill in violation of penal code section 664-187. God. She's like, you know, I shouldn't have killed my children. Look at her look over to the lawyer like, are you guys getting this? Are you guys hearing this shit, this is fucking crazy. I feel so good to be that lawyer and be like you go to jail We we tried our best like it's unfortunate like in the justice system spocked Static they got me I'm gonna get Hardee's tonight unfortunate. The justice system's fucked. What if they get sadistic?

I think I'm going to get Hardee's tonight. I'm going to get my BMW C3 and get Hardee's. Maybe I'll write a movie. Yeah. Claire grabs her shoulder. I'm thinking no booty don't drop the soap the lawyer leans over and goes yeah they found out

you killed your kids there's a penalty for this she's like oh if I would have known that there was I go to prison I would never would have killed my kids She goes what is this? Cloak she was your honor if I knew there was life sentence. I wouldn't have done it just Okay, so let me off. I didn't know. Protection 189.

We further find true the allegation that Diana Jean Lovejoy was vicariously armed with a firearm. Within the meaning of penal protection. She's doing a face where she's like, God, I hate Mondays. She's like, get on with it. Oh, God, my sarcasm is loading. She does look like a character from Parks and Rec or something. She's like, I haven't even had my morning cup of coffee. She goes, she's like, don't sentence me to life until I've had my morning cup of coffee. That's a new Target shirt.

1-2-0-2-2, peren A, peren 1. Dated 11-13-17 Signed For a person Now she's about to faint Hell yeah In the superior court Of the state of California

Here we go Unit 4 of the county of San Diego Oh man The people of the state of California She smoked too much kush Yeah Versus Weldon I've seen you do that a few times Oh yeah Oh yeah Here we go. Oh, man. She smoked too much kush. Yeah. I've seen you do that a few times.

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, she fainted right now? She's having a panic attack. Yeah, it's time to panic. She's fainting, yeah. Look at that black dude. These black guys are like, man, this motherfucker at the comedy store last night was crazy as hell.

I was like, man, this motherfucker at the comedy store last night was crazy as hell. He brought a white brigade with him. Motherfucker said he knew Luke Schwartz. Her lawyer looks like Lawrence Fishburne. I was thinking the exact same thing. Or like the cop from Rita and I Will Want. Yeah. Oh, there she goes.

There she goes. Uh-oh. What if she just bit a cyanide tooth? There she goes. Oh, yeah. That's what I would do. Wow, look at her flopping around. People crying in court. Man.

She's just going like dead fish. Like she's just like... I've had a lot of those. It's like, how are you going to take me? How are you going to get me to jail, guys? The bailiff starts resuscitating her through a powdered donut. You can't put somebody in prison for life if they're asleep. What if I just sleep through it?

She goes, you decided. Didn't hear you, Josh. Like, goddammit, let me know when she wakes up. Dammit. She's counting sheep. She goes, you decided? Didn't hear you, Josh. God damn it. Let me know when she wakes up. Damn it. She's counting sheep. It's a filibuster. You know what's so funny about the law and court and stuff?

Remember when our friend David was in court for that open container in his car back when he was a youngin'? Yeah. And, you know, he got over it. Sure. It was a crazy teen or something. It was a crazy teen. he was a youngin yeah and it was you know it wasn't he got over it and he's sure not you know it was a crazy teen or something he's a crazy teen he's crazy teen but but he wasn't he had this like never-ending court case that like really drove him mad you know and he he needed to get this the the sentence down and he uh i remember one time he told me he was like he's like i don't know dude my lawyer wants to do something called like a diversion and then we were like what the fuck is that and i i kept making jokes that it's like it's like it's like what does your lawyer do like they throw a firecracker like in the corner of the room

and every the judge and the jury they all look and then the lawyer goes run and then he gets out and they go clean clean diversion, excellent diversion. That's like a thing in court. It's such a bizarre term, like terminology-wise. Diversion. It just sounds like you distract the judge and let your client escape or something. It's crazy. It might be something where they make it not worth the court's time or something.

Like they divert the attention away. Or they draw it out and then like the judge finally is like, this isn't worth our fucking time. Right. Let's check it out. What does this mean? Court diversion. That was a random guess. I always just pretend like I know everything about the law.

Under the California military diversion program the court can only divert misdemeanor charges such as DUI and drug... Okay, so it's something to do with DUIs and stuff. What is the diversion program in Los Angeles? The Office of Diversion and Reentry within the Los Angeles County Department of Health Services

develops and implements programs to divert people with serious... So they were going to say David was retarded, I guess. No, I think that means that they were going to put him in rehab. Or they're going to be like, he's going to go to a program. He'll go to a program. They teach him about booze and stuff.

That's so fucking funny. The lawyer's like, sir. David's retarded. The lawyer's like, sir. I mean, come on. Look at him. He's like, what's up, dude? He's drinking Mountain Dew out of a coffee mug.

It's so funny that now David, like, fucking drops bombs on Yemen for a living. He works for a... He's like a super scientist. I guess we won't say the name. We can't say much, but he works for a high-level government. It was so funny. One day he called me. He's like, dude.

I was like, what? He's like, do you want to come down? I have one of those Boston Dynamics robots and we can just make it do whatever we want. I think he was like, you got an Xbox controller? Just be controlling it with the controller. He's like, dude, John, get over here. I'm fucking a robotic dog in the ass.

He's like, dude, I swear to God, I'm holding a gun to its head, and I feel its fear, dude. He's like, I'm teaching it how to say ass cheeks. He's like, you know when Richie holds a gun to Janice's head, but they fuck? That's us tonight. By the way, I did a diversion program one time in South Dakota, and it was such a small program that it was only for DUIs,

but I had a minor in consumption. So I went to this DUI class because it was the only diversion class. Which was like a rehab you had to go to? No, it was like a class that you went to twice a week, and they just teach you. There's an instructor who used to be a drunk guy, and he's just like, here's the consequences of booze. We had an ex-Marine sniper who just talked about

gambling at Tunica, Mississippi the entire time, and sniper stories and shit. That's awesome. But we'd go around the circle, and he'd be like, all right, tell your DUI story. Tell yours. Tell yours. And I would just go like, I didn't get a DUI.

So I don't know. I wouldn't do that. Yeah, you never even drove in South Dakota, right? Yeah. No, I story. Tell yours. Tell yours. And I would just go like, I didn't get a DUI. So I don't know. Like, I wouldn't do that. Yeah, you never even drove in South Dakota, right? No, I did. I did. Is that how you got in, went to jail that night? Was you were driving? No, no, no.

This was like some misdemeanor charge. You were just drunk in public. You were drunk in public, right? Yeah, yeah. That's, you have to be so drunk in South Dakota to get in public. I think on that particular one, it might have been me and my friend Josh Brabant who was an MMA, local MMA guy. We started sparring inside

of a bar and I pushed him through a window. Oh, fuck. Yeah, yeah. He went through the window? Yeah, yeah. He broke a window. Did he get injured? No, he was fine. We were both laughing. It was like property damage. Yeah, it was like um, um, not property damage. It was something was like, not property damage.

It was something, I can't remember exactly. Disrupting? Disrupting the public. Something like that. But anyways. Vandalism. It wasn't that. I can't remember exactly.

I can't remember the charge. But anyways, I'm in the program just going like I wouldn't drink and drive. Being kind of a cocksucker. Yeah, sure. Just because I did drink and drive. But I was just like, guys, no DUI here when it would come to me every time.

And then one week after the class ended, I got a DUI. Oh, God. And so I called the instructor back, and I was like, okay, so now I actually got one. I got to come back. He goes, I'd like to speak.

No. It's my turn in the circle. It's my turn in the circle. It's my turn in the circle. Because the court was like, well, they made me, they're like, well, you have to do one of these classes. I was like, fuck, I just did one. So I called the guy up and I'm like, hey, I have to schedule another sesh. What'd he say?

He goes, brother, he goes, just tell them, give them the paperwork for this one and they won't know the difference. Fuck yeah. He was the coolest fucking guy ever. Dude, I've heard of favorites like that. My buddy's dad used to work for transportation and movies, so his first car was literally a fucking cop car. So it was an undercover cop car, red and blue lights in the grill. And super legal to have.

You cannot have red and blue lights on your car. And they got pulled over going like 90 miles an hour. And the cop came over with his gun out because he had a flashlight on and shit and ripped his grill off. And then started ripping the red and blue lights out of the fucking car. Oh, fuck. And they got him on like, they were about to get him on impersonating a police officer. Yeah, that's a big one. He was underage.

That's like a felony, I think. He was underage. But they basically yeah his dad went to court explained like hey i have tons of cop cars i just gave one to my son as his first car it was my fault like all this stuff wait it still had like the lights on yeah he could turn the not in the top they were in the grill like the undercover cars yeah super illegal so he was like it was my fault like i just gave my son this car because it was one of my spare cars like uh he shouldn't he and the the They just gave him community service, but he went to a Goodwill

because you could sort through clothes or some shit for community service. The fucking guy was like, hey, he had 150 hours of community service to do or some shit. I was like, pay me 50 bucks. I'll just write it all off. Yeah. That kicks ass. He got out of impersonating a police officer for 150 bucks. You know what's funny?

To any listeners out there, and I know there's a lot of alcoholics and drug addicts listening. Almost all of our listeners. But I don't want to get them in trouble, but it would be funny to watch them squirm. And so if you're a normal person and you just like a good joke, you like a good laugh, go online, go to Craigslist,

buy a Crown Royal. Or a Crown Victoria. Crown Royal. Crown Royal. Yeah, buy a Crown Vic Crown Royal Crown Royal yeah buy a bottle of Crown Royal there's a lot of alcoholics out there I go buy a buy a car

a Hennessy car no buy a Crown Vic yeah like in you know 90s early 2000s and just wait outside a bars

in your neighborhood and then just follow groups of people home slowly behind them. And you can just freak them the fuck out. Spook them. Because you look like a cop. One time I was like 19 or 20, and I was driving around, and this guy was behind me in a Crown Vic.

And I was like, what the fuck is this? Like, he kept turning with me. And it was just chance. Like, he just happened to be going the same route. And then we pulled into the same parking lot, and he was just going to the store, too. And I was like, I rolled my window, and I go, get a new fucking car, you scary asshole. And he left. That's so fucking funny.

He was like, yeah, I get it, man. Like, people freak the fuck out when I'm behind them. Dude, my dad had one of those, and it was honestly the most comfortable car he ever owned. Aren't they really fast? If you get the V8s, they're pretty hefty. They do have, yeah, for the cops. They're very deceptive. They don't look like they're supposed to be fast. I learned that from GTA.

You get a Lambo or whatever and you're fucking fast as fuck and then like, oh, I got a cop car. They're just as fast as the Lambo. It's not as fast as the Lamborghini but it's a big fucking engine. fast as the land. It's not as fast as Lamborghini, but it's a big fucking. Yeah. But it's a big fucking close. Yeah.

Well, the Mercury marauders that one of your neighbors has one down the street. It's basically a crown Vic, but it's made by Mercury and it's a supercharged crown Vic. So that's incredibly fast. I still, I'm, I'm obsessed with this,

uh, series seven, this armored series seven. Oh dude. Yeah. I, I was, I was bad. I saw the transporter when I was this armored Series 7. Oh, dude. Yeah. I saw the Transporter when I was like 15 because he had a 7 Series in it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Dude, all I wanted was a fucking 7 Series.

I was looking up eBay to see how I could get a fucking 7. They're the coolest looking. Describe them. They're like boxy bad guy cars. The boxy BMWs from the 90s, like the biggest one they made. The Transporter. Oh, yeah, okay, yeah. Those cars kick so much ass.

How about horsepower? Dude, the V12 7 Series, I want to say it was pushing like 400, over 400. So that's not too bad. John loves BMW because they help the Nazis. I'm only into BMW, Mercedes-Benz, Volkswagen. I always buy American.

Yeah. He always buys Japanese. I think I'm a Lexus man to the bitter end. Lexuses are great cars. Now that I, you know, after I inherited my grandmother's car, and, you know, it's a hunk of shit now. It makes tons of noises. I'm driving a jalopy, but it's still just such a beast of an engine.

It's a cozy car. That thing will last forever. That's going to just keep going. And nobody fucks with me because it looks, it looks. It has a couple of dents. It is so fucked up. You guys hear the noises it makes when I drive around? Oh, do we start it?

We pull up to it. No, it starts fine, but it has a bunch of suspension issues. And when I pull up to a stop sign, it's just like... It's crazy sounding. And it just looks like utter shit. You didn't have that car when I first met you, right? What did you drive? I had a... and it just looks like utter shit. You didn't have that car when I first met you, right? What did you drive?

Well, I had a Ford Taurus that was a death trap and I got stranded a million times. Those things sucked ass. One of the worst cars ever. I know that year. One of the worst cars ever. I had that classic old, the 2003 Ford Taurus. Worst looking car. Horrible car.

God, it looked like shit. It literally would do this thing where it would just stop driving on the freeway and everything started like malfunctioning and I'd have to pull over to the side of the road. I'd wait five minutes and I'd turn around and then it would like be normal and then I would get home.

You'd have temper tantrums. I'm not kidding. It was the only car in my life that I put in neutral to get home. I would put it in neutral and just hope it glided. Yeah, coast down the two. Hope you catch that green light. And then I bought a Honda Accord, which was a pretty sick car. That blue one?

Yeah, that blue one. That's the car I remember you having. It was a very good car, and it had tinted windows and shit. And you gave it to a guy. I gave it to a guy that we went to high school with that kind of was like, once I inherited my grandma's car, I was like, all right, fuck. I have like, that's kind of crazy. You have a sick Lexus now. Yeah, yeah.

And so I was like, he was like, man, I need a car, and Ius now Yeah yeah So I was like he was like man I need a car You know I'm trying to get a job What race was this man? Chinese He works at our former high school Yeah yeah Which is hilarious because he used to steal all the time And then he stole from you

In this situation In a weird way this this is what happened. I sold him the car because I loved him. I thought he was a really, like, he was a good guy and he was funny. But, uh,

so I sold him the car but on, like, a car payment thing because he couldn't do it all at once. Hilarious. So I was like, I was like,

all right. He's financing deals. I go, you can finance it. I started a car dealer. By the way, it was only, like, four grand. Like, I sold him very cheap and

so he so then he gets in an accident one day he's like no i can't pay and he texts me and he goes like hey man like i got in an accident i have to pay right so he literally said he had the balls and a message to be like so like how do you want to handle the payments like so is it we're done right and i go no you bought the i don't what how many payments do you have left oh like a bunch and i had to be on him dude it was like i felt like i was in the mafia i'd be like i'd be like hey buddy let's go chop chop you missed last month's payment like trying to collect you know almost like trying to like charge vig and shit i'm like what what is with you like just because you got just because you totaled the car you didn't charge him interest or anything no nothing i just i and so it's just

every once in a while he'd send me like 400 bucks and then finally it like it you know it evened out but i was like years later it was so funny he finally paid it all off he paid it all okay cool yeah but it took years yeah hilarious dude that's cool at least he paid it all off yeah but it was that message was so ridiculous that's's a rude message. He thought him getting in an accident meant he doesn't have to buy the car anymore. He was hoping you were going to be a giant pushover and just be like, oh, don't

worry. Yeah, that was it. He was trying to use he was, let's be honest, he was trying to use me being white and him being black against me. He's like, this guy likes me. He's lucky enough to know a big black guy. And I'm like like don't give a shit about that pay up there's nothing worse like a big part of my current job is collecting money from people well somebody will owe us like eighty thousand dollars and they're part of this

weird little community and it's like it was due on friday two weeks past three weeks past and then the owner of my company's like joey like what isiday two weeks past three weeks past and then the owner of my company's like joey like what is this guy gonna pay like could you talk to him dude odd joey they have you talk to the people yeah yeah because i'm like managing the it's like sort of my responsibility it's like sort of my job so then i have to go like be like hey dude like uh you know you always could you pay and i'm like on skype i'm typing this out and then just like no response and then i have to tell the owner like he's not fucking responding and then and then the owner will be like well you gotta escalate like you gotta make this happen

so what do you do you like you bring in like legal action so what you like here's the first thing that you do is that there is a big Skype group with everybody in the industry. And then so you basically go like, hey, man, I don't want to have to like make a post in there about what's going on. Right. Because you'll ruin their reputation and people won't work with them and shit. It happens kind of a lot. You'll see people posted there. Listen, I'm close to poisoning the well.

Exactly. Yeah. And so then and then that usually scares people and they'll pay or I'll just tag their name in the Skype group, but not say why. I'll just go like, Oh, that's so funny. And then just hit enter. Oh dude. Oh, that's hilarious.

And then they're like, Oh shit. Oh shit. He's going to do it. And sometimes my friend won't pay. A friend of mine won't pay and they'll get attacked in the group. And I'll jump in and be like, he'll pay. He's a good guy. TikTok meme.

You're like, TikTok with your. I should start doing like bomb threats. Yeah. Yeah. That's weird. That's what you need to do. Start up bomb threats again. Oh, man. What else we got? Yeah, that's what you need to do. Start up bomb threats again at your job. Let's get those revved up.

Oh, man. What else we got? I mean, you know, well, this was interesting to me, John. You probably know a lot about this. This might be like your uncle. William Patrick Hitler, nephew of Adolf Hitler, in his uniform as a member of the U.S. Navy during World War II. Did you guys know there was a nephew of Hitler?

That's crazy. I think they used him for propaganda. This guy's like, I hate my uncle. He's a bad dude was a nephew of Hitler? That's crazy. I think they used him for propaganda. This guy's like, I hate my uncle. He's a bad dude. Oh, yeah, you're probably right, huh?

They probably did use him for propaganda. Do you even think he was actually the nephew of Hitler? Well, there are tons of Germans in the United States. Yeah, he probably was.

I mean, he's as handsome as Hitler. Yeah. He kind of looks like Hitler. It's kind of crazy. He does a little bit, yeah. That's so funny that there was a guy

related to Hitler. Like, kind of crazy. He does a little bit, yeah. That's so funny that there was a guy related to Hitler. Like, babe, I gotta go protect the Pearl Harbor. Hey, look, it's Bill Hitler. It's Bill Hitler. It's Billy Hitler. Fall is here and cooking is on the back burner. It's time to worry about the important stuff. Like where they're putting the next spirit Halloween.

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yeah well you know I mean we have a million things looks like a let's go through it. Let's do that body cam, bro. You want to do a body cam? Oh, yeah. What's that body cam? We'll do them.

How much? Not that I care. Don't ever ask that again. I just want to know for the great finale, how much do we have until the body cam footage? We're going to do about 30 on body cam footage. Give the people what they want. Let's do a three-hour or four-hour episode. That's what I always want to do about 30 on body cam footage. Give the people what they want. Let's do a three-hour or four-hour episode.

That's what I always want to do. You know what? This isn't even body cam, but I watched like five minutes of this, and I think this is pretty good. I'm a little worried about it because it was on Reddit, and it says moderators removed. Sorry, this post has been removed for whatever. Does anybody get attacked?

I don't really know. But I'll move away quick. Okay, so it's this child predator and he goes to the hood to meet a kid and these dudes show up and they start breaking his windshields and popping his eyes. Oh, I've seen this. This kicks ass. It's great, right? We can play it, you think, right? Oh wait, so why wouldn't we? I don't know.

Ever since the infamous 7-Eleven video, God forbid. So there is, they don't hurt him. They don't hurt him, right? They just fuck his car up. They fuck his car up. We're good. Let's just do it.

Fuck it. Fuck it. Rock and roll, baby. Punk rock podcast. Rock and roll. Punk rock podcast. Hey, watch. Tell your friends.

Oh my God, dude. What's up, dog? What's you come to here? What's you come to do, sir? Damn, that's quick. Came to meet a little girl, didn't you? Get out the car before we call the cops on you. Come and talk to us.

Get out. Step out and holler at me. What's up? Holler at me. What's your name? Holler at me. What's your name? What's up?

Don't even touch that phone either. What you come here to do, doc? I thought I was meeting up with someone. Well, how? Who? Who is that? Meeting up with who? Someone up with someone. Well, how? Who? Who was that? Meeting up with who? It was someone I met online.

A 15-year-old girl. Well, how old was she? I don't know. I don't remember how old they said they were. Why not? Look at this shit. Look at that. Call your...

Pick up your phone. Yeah, you see that shit? They just break his back window now? Bitch trying to meet little kids. Okay. Yeah. Pick up your phone and call somebody. Call your...

Who the last person you talked to? Um... John from John's Gun Corner? Your homeboy, your friend, your mama? phone and call somebody call you who the last person you talked to um john for john's gun corner your homeboy your friend your mama call your mom call your parents yeah you see that this yak town baby what if this guy what if this guy was like i know luke schwartz call him right now. Call Luke Schwartz right now. Did you get the answer down, too? You got the drink, too? Get it. Pull it out. Pull it out.

Oh, he's drinking in the car? Pull it out. Hand it over. No, he brought booze for the kid. Oh, there he is. That was part of the Chris Hansen thing. Well, that's kind of cool. I mean, kids don't get to drink, and he's trying to... That's what Chris Hansen does in all of his...

Trying to be cool with the kids. So the undercover kid or agent or whatever will be like, hey, could you bring me booze and condoms and shit? And I guess that makes it easier to convict them or something. Because they add charges. If you have condoms, it means you intend to fuck.

And the booze is alcohol to my nose. I wonder how many pedophiles have tried to do the whole thing where they're like, I brought the condoms to make balloons. They're like, I love balloons. You damn pervs. You guys are sick. Get your mind out of the gutter.

I'm a clown. You know what's sick about this video is you know those guys baited this dude into bringing New Amsterdam. Like, what 14-year-old girl is like, hey, bring me some New Amsterdam. Yeah, yeah, so these pedophile hunters in the hood are like, yeah, and little eight-year-old Bobby likes old English. Bring a lot of old English, you creepy motherfucker. Bring me some pineapple backwoods.

Bring some pineapple backwoods, some old English. And make us stop at Long John Silver's before you get here, you fucking punk. You chomo cracker. This guy's like, no, I'm just, I'm just, I'm here to meet Charizard. This kid wants you to bring him do-rags. I'm stupid and I'm knocking you out. I'm sorry. Pedophile.

Child predator. Pedophile. Child predator. They're just yelling at strangers. Pedophile. Well, because the stranger just sees a bunch of black guys smashing windows. Yeah, so they have to be like, it's a pedophile. Don't worry. And then everyone in the town goes, oh, it's okay. Go back to your business.

The cops show up. They're like, hey, we were going to kill you guys. And then the black guy's like, no, man, we're dealing with a pedophile. And the cop's like, oh, we'd like to kill Ollie. You know, it's a little annoying you're not black teenagers, but, you know, I'll settle. He came to meet a 15-year-old girl. He drives two of them. Yeah, you know what it is.

Where the drink at? Right there. What the fuck? Oh, you got a big bottle of Svedka. Svedka, dude. Svedka. Svedka, dude. Svedka. Man, I had my times with Svedka when I first started.

You'd go to the, it's the bottom shelf. It's like $10. It's like $11. For like that big of a thing? I don't know about that. I never got like the strawberry lemonade stuff, but they just have like regular vodka. It's terrible vodka, but... I used to go Phillips or Kharkov. It was a half gallon you could buy for like 14 bucks.

Holy shit. I don't think we have that out here. We had that at the Prairie Market. We paid Native Americans to go in and buy it. It was pretty sick. That's awesome. You know, you could buy, for the alcoholics at home, you could buy a Brita filter,

and you could buy really cheap vodka, and you could distill it over and over again, pouring it in the Brita. And you could buy really cheap vodka and you could distill it over and over again, pouring it in the Brita. And you'll basically turn it into... You can turn it into a pretty high quality vodka. Like a Grey Goose. Yeah, you really can. That's the only difference is Grey Goose has been filtered more.

It actually kind of works. I used to know people and I've heard a lot of stories from friends that said that they used to do the same thing in college and it actually you can cut out, you know, the hangover is a little less worse. I've never done that, but I definitely feel less of a hangover if I drink like Grey Goose versus shittier stuff. 100%. There's tons of impurities in the cheap booze. That's why you actually want to buy the better booze.

Right, right. It's worth it, actually. IPAs, too. I mean, these hunks are shit. These disgusting IPAs. I only got this because I'm not trying to drink too much tonight but like, you know, it's 9% I'll have like you won, you know, then I'll have like 13

of Joey's Millers but no, it's people drink IPAs and you know, they have these stupid covers where it's a skeleton it's all like badass and stuff and it tastes like utter shit but it has more booze in it.

They're called the India Pale Ale because they put a bunch of preservatives and bullshit in it. There's more alcohol in it so we can make the trip over the Indian Ocean. It's more hops. I'm friends with a kill machine who got his leg blown off at war. And he has a silver star. I met him. You met him. His name is Jake Hill.

Look up his silver star. He's a writer. He's a writer. I met him, yeah. You met him. His name is Jake Hill. Look up his Silver Star. He kicks ass. He's a writer, too, right?

He's a writer, and he's a lawyer, and he lives on a motorcycle, essentially, and he just drives around with one leg, and he's part of some bike club that I won't name. Wow. That's awesome. But he came to visit me in Los Angeles once, and he brought a six-pack of those in the bottles, and we started drinking them at my apartment, and he started throwing bottles at cars at the end of the night. Oh, wow.

And I was just laughing. I'm like, dude, you got a silver star. You're allowed to do that. You're allowed to do that. It's like, you got one leg. You're allowed to do whatever you want. No, I mean, the whole IPA thing is hilarious to me, how it took over,

because they suck so bad. They're terrible. They taste like utter shit. And I have a theory that people drink them because everyone's such a retarded pussy nowadays. You know? And they make them... The toughest thing people...

The toughest thing a kid sees their dad do nowadays is pretend to like IPA. Yeah, they're like, hey, I'm sophisticated and tough. I'm putting up with this. It tastes like shit. It's 9% alcohol. Come on, son. No, I don't know how to change a tire, but look at me drinking my Voodoo Rangers. Johnny and I went to the beach

with our girlfriends the other day, and I got Haritos made up, an alcoholic Haritos. That's so funny. Haritos. They're those... Mexican sodas. Oh, like a orange bang?

Yeah, yeah, pretty much. Yeah, exactly. So they made alcoholic ones of those and i'm like oh perfect beach drink i saw that they have an orange soda one yeah but i get it was like a bunch of flavors it's full of sugar dude i thought that they toned the sugar down or something for the alcoholic ones because they assume people are gonna be drinking a lot that's what i thought it fucked me like dude i was so sick like it just destroyed my stomach that's so funny you did that i saw that at the at the liquor store the other day and i was like maybe i'll buy this and then

i was like that's good it's probably full yeah but it's it's mexican and honestly listen mexicans like like they have no understanding of like what sugar does to you right there yeah i was like i bet it's like five like 60 grams of sugar in it it's so much man and the sugar will give you a worse hangover than the alcohol. I almost puked after drinking like four or five just from the sugar. That was disgusting, man. Fuck. Sorry about that.

It was fucked. I was taking the worst dumps. They're cool little bottles, though. Oh, yeah. Yeah, they look really cool on the beach. It's the perfect looking thing for the beach. Yeah, you shit out like a fucking fruit roll-up. All right, back to this child predator.

So he's got this vodka. He's got the strawberry lemonade vodka. It's vodka. No, get your phone back out. Call your peoples. You finna call your peoples. He's like, gang, gang, call your mans. Like this pedophile has like a gang of people with him.

What he calls an ambler. Who does he call? Get your gang, call your clique. What's your name? What you said? What you said? My name's Austin. Austin.

Austin who? My name's Austin. Austin play too. Okay. Austin who? Austin who? Call people. Start calling people. Listen guys, you're really black. What do they mean? What Austin Hoo, call people. Start calling people.

Listen, guys, you're really black. What do they mean? Like, what do they mean, call people? Like, they want to embarrass him publicly. It's like, call your mom, call anybody. Or tell people what we're using. I would just be like, these guys are robbing me, and they're saying all these crazy things.

Like, what are they going to do? Well, they'll just fucking punch him in the face. I'll take that, and I'll take that over being public. But then they'll grab the phone and be like, hey, no, he's a pedophile and they have it all on video and it's like, well, you know, you can't really run. Yeah, there's really no way out of this. There's tons of ways out of this.

You just get really racist. How do you get out of this? You live immediately once they break your window. You go, oh my god, a gang of four black dudes are breaking my window calling me a pedophile. Get down here police. This is insane. Yeah, but then they so they'll get charged with a crime but he'll get charged with being a pedophile. Get down here, police. This is insane. Yeah, but then they, so they'll get charged with a crime, but he'll get charged with being a pedophile.

What do you think, who do you think the cops are going to believe? They have evidence. They have like chat logs and stuff. I mean, Devin. No, you're right. You could just go full scumbag and be like, you're black.

They would fuck the black guys over, but they would also, that guy would get, he's incriminated. That's how like all these- I don't know if the cops would look at what the black guys have. They do.

That's what all these- The broken windows. That's how all these hunters work.... I don't know if the cops would look at what the black guys have. They do. That's what all these... The broken windows. That's how all these hunters work. Yeah, that's like how they have evidence of texting them and calling them. Like when Chu goes, hey, play the game show, or else I'm... Play the game show, or we can call the cops. I know they got evidence, but I'm saying, like, there's a greater chance that you just acting extremely terrified and acting like these guys are just robbing you or trying

to rob you, and the cop's just not giving a shit because it's incredibly dramatic. If those cops pulled up on that, they'd pull out guns drawn. All those guys would be on the ground. And if you just act crazy like you're just a scared little white boy, those guys will probably go to jail. Yeah, but they'll go to jail and they'll go off the search.

By the way, look at this. I mean, what if the cops are like, well, fuck you. You just tried to rob and I'm looking at shit and then he just like takes you to jail. I gotta say, it sounds like John's thought about this

a lot. I specifically go down to the hood, but I'm being pedophile. You do have a weird pedophile shirt. What did they like erase? You got a pedophile shirt.

Did they erase the vote for Pedro? Got erased on that shirt? That's a great shirt. I know it's the first thing I pull that. It's a vote for Pedro shirt erased on that shirt? That's a great shirt. That was the first thing I pulled out of my thing. That's a vote for Pedro shirt. I like ringer shirts.

They make me look like a little trailer trash guy. It's two weeks in a row you've worn some of the worst clothes I've ever seen. I'm going to be honest with you. It's been laundry day. Last week,

it was the fucking, you know, the... I love that shirt. Don't talk shit about my shirt. That weird jersey. What are you wearing, shitbag? It's a great shirt.

It's vintage. What are you wearing, retard? Get illuminated? Boing, boing. Shut up, faggot. You're wearing that shirt. Don't talk shit about my shirt. That weird jersey. What are you wearing, shitbag? It's a great shirt. It's vintage. What are you wearing, retard? Get illuminated. Somebody said it to me. Shut up, faggot. Somebody said it to me. You suck. You're the one wearing a horrible...

Oh, wait a minute. I just remembered something. Shout out Bobby Bad News. Oh, yeah. Bad News. You're cool. He's a huge MMA guy. Bobby Bad News on Instagram.

He's an MMA collectible guy, and he sent John and I signed Chuck Liddell and GSP cards. Man, really? Signed? Signed. And with their shorts, dude. Did you see that? They have a piece of their shorts. Oh, I didn't know that. I didn't see that. Yeah, the Chuck Liddell's, but also shout out. Bobby Bad News, I mean, what about me? Oh, so Bobby Bad News left a handwritten note that looked like a fucking ransom note. By the way, it's all ripped up and crinkled.

And it said, like, hey, this is for you and John. Give one to John. Keep them for yourself. Sorry. Tell Devin that as soon as they start putting otters on cards, he'll get one. He loves you, but he just knows we're MMA fans. He's a huge fan of you, but he's an MMA guy.

He knows that we like MMA. John's a fraudulent MMA fan. You're probably a bigger MMA fan. I watch more fights with you. I watch more fights with you. Real quick, though. And you watch Patrick Gavio all the time? I love Gavio.

Do you remember the first Gun Corner when we had Elliot Crookshank? Yeah. He was the coolest. He basically invented Gun Corner. He showed up at my bar. Are you serious? Yeah.

Wow. We hung out. Is he cool? He's like 22. He's like a child. But he was just an excited young lad. And he was there with his girlfriend. He was really shitting on you.

He was shitting on me. It was you, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Apparently, he cucked out the second question and was all apologetic. I don't remember this at all. So, in the very first gun corner, basically, he said, it was just like, hey, John's a gun expert sending your gun questions. And we were just like, let's see. It was a little silly goof.

And then the question we opened with was this guy, Elliot Cruikshank, who just attacked John. It was like this fucking fat retard. I hate it. And I remember we brought it up on the pod and everything. And so then that started a tradition of everybody attacking John on the gun corner. And so he sort of was the first guy to do it. He was a foundational, but he showed up. He hit me up on Instagram a bunch of times.

He's like, are you the bar guy? Are you the bar guy? And I was like, what the fuck? And I'm like like if you want to hit me up and come to the bar you can do that and i will buy you he's australian he's australian that's awesome you're an australian i love australians but and i will i've said it before and i'll say it again and i don't care that i'm repeating myself australians are fermented british people that is good that's exactly what they are yeah he's got a bunch of bright ideas about what he wants he hates australia wants to move the united states he's a nice guy. Oh, he was only

here. I thought he lives here. On vacation. He came here to see me, dude. He dragged his girlfriend to the bar, bro. Hell yeah, Elliot. He was the man. Sick. That's awesome. Listen, guys. Actually,

send your MMA stuff to these guys. Joey deserves it all. John, you should give your stuff to Joey. Kobe stuff. Kobe stuff to these guys. Joey deserves it all. John, you should give your stuff to Joey. Kobe stuff. Kobe stuff to Devin. No one... Send Kobe stuff. Here's the thing I've realized. No one on the internet gives a shit about the greatness of Kobe.

There's not that many basketball guys. Our listeners don't care about basketball. They like guys that fight and that they hold men's heads between their legs. You love MMA. How dare you? That's why you didn't get a card, Otter. You boy had him. That's why you didn't get a card, Otter.

I love MMA, but yeah, like, you know. You like the grappling. Send me like Nate Diaz stuff. I love him. Yeah. Bobby, redeem yourself with Devin. Send him some Nate stuff. Why don't we talk about this, actually? Like, enough of this video for a second. Let's talk about how John has been thinking

that we're supposed to go to Stockton to meet Ice Cube and Nate Diaz, right? John wanted to plan a trip to Stockton because he has some grifter comes into his bar. John's the biggest sucker. He's the perfect mark.

Literally the equivalent of those guys in Vegas that hand out hooker ads. Yeah, yeah. Some guy gave John an ad to go to an Ice Cube funded event in Stockton. I'll text him later. Joey, can you explain real quick the beginnings of this? Yeah, yeah. So the guy is a... City councilman. Former city councilman who's been convicted of fraud, right?

Current city councilman. He hasn't been convicted of anything. He's been accused. He's a former city councilman convicted of fraud. Yeah, he's being prosecuted for fraud. I don't know, not fraud. Embezzling. Yeah.

So this guy's like, he's a well-known scam artist. And so he rolls, he's like a guy that would jump to John's bar. And he's like this Mexican dude who's like from Compton. And he's the city councilman in Compton. He's the man. And John is just like, he just loves like city guy stuff. Where he's like, fucking hell yeah, dude. You're just jealous, dude.

He's like, I got a fucking Mexican friend. He's like, dude. Joey's so, this thing is just ripping from Joey. Joey hates when other people do things and he doesn't have anything to do with just a shripping from Joey. Joey hates when other people do things and he doesn't have anything to do with it. You're not doing anything.

Joey always talks about my FOMO. I meet people. I meet interesting people. You met a fraudster at a bar. You don't meet anybody. What are you talking about?

I'm friends with a hundred fraudsters. I just don't bring them up. What a hilarious argument. I just don't bring them up. Who has more con artist friends? John's constantly trying to pretend a thing that just meeting a guy is doing something.

He's like, that's an accomplishment, dude. I fucking did something. This is, I'm being invited to a key to Europe. That's kind of a, it's like, you're not doing stuff. You're not accomplishing stuff. Weren't you at my family's on July 4th? And we were getting all those text messages from John where he was like, was crazy john john john john was in compton and he was taking all these he like he was like dude these black people love me he's like i'm king of them i'm king of the blacks

he actually said that i was like charles manson you were insane dude john was john was sending his videos of him in the street with like this like black family in Compton and they were setting off fireworks and John was like, dude, they fucking love me. You had the best line. Do you remember what it was? I am black. He goes, I am black now. You said something. You described how he looked at a picture. It was so fucking funny.

Can I tell the story really quick? Oh, I said you look like William Forsythe in fucking Blood In, Blood Out or American Me. I forget which movie it was. I go down the street and these guys are like hanging out and they're like, what the fuck are you doing

here? And I was like, oh, I'm just hanging out. You were the Mexican family and you traded the Mexican family for the black family. For like 15 minutes. I wanted to see who's, because there's crazy fireworks going off, so I'm going down the street. He treats minorities like Pokemon cards. No, it's fine.

Really? He's like, dude, well, I was hanging out with Squirtle, but then I saw Charizard. I have no shame. Yes, it's more interesting. So I go down. My family's more interesting than me.

For 15 minutes. For 15 minutes, then you're out of your mind. No, no, no, no. You go down the street. And you keep looking. You keep looking as usual this is like really good look for me

so listen i go down the street and then the guy's like one of the dudes is ready to fight somebody and i was like what's going on here apparently somebody just pulled up with like a handgun and was like flashing at this guy because this guy was convinced that he was like fucking his like underage cousin. That's right. It was crazy dude. It was like, and I'm like, they're like, hey fellas, like how you doing? And they're, but they had a bunch of great fireworks and we were just laying out fireworks and stuff, but they had all the fireworks.

Nobody else was laying out fireworks. They let you hang because they thought you were a cop. Yeah. I was like, we'll befriend the local cops. But yeah, so then anyways, John, the first thing that I, the first way I heard about this guy was John told us,

he goes like, guys, I know we're supposed to record a podcast. You might pull through. I'll tell this and then you can explain. You can defend yourself after. I'm not defending myself. You don't have to. But so John goes, guys, I know we have to record a podcast and that was our plan. But something crazy is going on. I know we have to record a podcast tonight. That was our plan. But something crazy is going on.

I just got invited to a private party with Nate Diaz. Private party. And then Joey and I go on to find out it's like a public event. The first thing I said, I was like, dude, that can't be right. Why? Why would we all be allowed to that? Right. I didn't say private.

It was a lot of it. That was really nice of you to invite us, by the way. You thought it was private. I thought you guys would like to go. It was cool. I would have say private. It was a very lot of it. That was really nice of you to invite us, by the way. You thought it was private and you still wanted to invite us. I thought you guys would like to go. It was cool.

I would have loved to. That's a nice thing, but then we were like, dude, that can't be. But it's funny that it transitioned from being in LA to like John's. We gotta go to Stockton.

We gotta go to the murder capital of the world. You guys have been trying to kill my passion for years for life. Your passion for collecting minorities. You're trying to stomp me out.

We're just trying to wrangle your mania. You've been stomping. I know, my mania's great. I am a bit manic today. I don't want to see you get scared. I want to go back to the Bonaventures like my manic play. I want to go back there so bad. John loves the Westin Bonaventure. I've been with him.

He took me. You want to know why he likes it? It's because it's like a maze. It's crazy. He goes there and he goes, this is like my mind. I want to live at the Westin Bond Adventure. But anyways, I remember, but the thing is, is like, you know, I want to like, you know, if somebody says something, I'll be like, yeah, whatever. I'll believe you.

And then I just like, see if I, maybe it leads down a fun road. I'm sorry, dude. Maybe it leads down a fun road someday. It's an adventurous, good attitude to have in general. But I just don't want to see you get scammed or something. Nobody's going to scam me that way. If I would have scammed that way, I would have been scammed long ago. I don't know, man.

Oh! I was like, who the fuck is coming in here? Look at this. Get in there, Richie. Old Richie Gaines. They're talking about me having mania. Richie, fresh out of Passages Malibu. Another bid At Passages They gave me this shirt

What is that shirt? That's my passage You fly away like a bird Look at that I've been gone for a while So when you go to Passages Relapse, come back, relapse, come back As many times as I have.

They just go, Richie's back. They give you a shirt where they go, he's a chicken with his head cut off. They go, welcome home, Richie! They have a big sign. Welcome to the pen! I don't even know anymore. I've just seen it out so many times.

Thanks for having me back. Try the headphones on. See what it feels like. I'm drenched in sweat, bud. I don't know how to do anything anymore. I look like a fucking sweaty dude. How are you not sweating? My back sweats. I don't sweat in the front.

I'm drenched. Do you want to continue with this video? I want to see the rest of this video. Let's finish up this video. This pedophile is getting hunted in the hood, Richie. So Richie, this pedophile, he went to the hood And these guys in the hood They immediately walked over and they broke all his windows And they slashed his tires

And they go, get out the fucking car Call your mom, bitch Call your peoples By the way, I really want to say this Richie is transitioning very rapidly Into like a Adam Sandler mixed with Cat Stevens.

That was well-timed. I feel like you had this locked and loaded probably for like three months. I did not! I'm really quick on my feet. That was pretty good. What was it? Sandler mixed with what again? Cat Stevens. You look like Yusef Sandler. He looks like he's hopping on the peace train. You pretty good. What was it? Sandler mixed with what again? Cat Stevens. Cat Stevens. You look like Yusef Sandler.

He looks like he's hopping on the peace train. I just look like someone. You look good. I look good, but I still feel like I look like someone who they're like, yeah, I could see why he never worked. I see why he never went anywhere. They're like, man, he looks like so many people, but it's I. You do seem to be getting more and more handsome.

Yeah. You are getting better with age. Your beard looks better than ever. It's tight as fuck. I showered before I came over. What is that? What, you think you're better than us? I'm trying to shower.

Apparently this guy thinks he's better. Richie has running water. Fuck you. I feel like you guys don't look around. I mean, John always talks about us smelly and disgusting. Joe literally just said, I'm sweating so much. I feel like you guys don't look around. I mean, John always talks about us smelly and disgusting. He's deceased. Joey literally just said, I'm sweating so much.

Not a minute ago. Joey looks like he's diffusing a bomb. Thank you, buddy. That's the success. You think I look good? I got a tooth. Oh, my God. We got five seconds left.

Richie thinks I look good, which is crazy because I'm hungover and my eyes are black. That's your life. That's all that matters is that Richie thinks I look good, which is crazy because I'm hungover and my eyes are black. That's your life. That's all that matters is that Richie thinks you look good. We're all dying to know what Richie thinks how we look. I mean, look. The face is right there. That's one point to him. Look at that perfect hair by Yarmulz. The moneymaker.

When I come back, I'll want to see it. Yarmulz is amazing. Yarmulz is the best. He's in Los Angeles. We're going to hang with him soon. We've got to get him over here. Oh, by the way What's his podcast called?

Low T Check out the Low T podcast T-E-A Kind of gay Kind of like what women say It's tea time They don't even understand Low T I get it but it should just be called

Tea I think they might Drink tea on it or something They don't even understand low tea I get it but it should just be called tea With a T don't do a T I think they might drink tea on it or something All I know is that Yarmul's is fucking funny Are they all sober? I don't know I have no idea I listened to one of Yarmul's is really funny Yeah check out Yarmul's low tea podcast

Yeah he He wanted to pay me for that Oh come on Yarmul's you've built half my home You don't need to pay me for that. Oh, come on. I was like, Yarmul, you've built half my home. You don't need to pay me to promote your podcast. I saw the new gate out front. Was that Yarmul's also? Everything

Yarmul's has done, yeah, the gate out front is him. Yarmul's is here. Yarmul's is doing work outside right now with your dad. I will happily pay Yarmul's, you know,

80 bucks to build a new studio. You know what he did? Wow. Jesus Christ. So generous. But so he was being so funny. He messaged me and he's like, what does that room look like

that you guys recorded? How big is it? I'm like, it's not, it's pretty small. It's like kind of what you see, the walls like right outside of the frame. And then he was like, hmm, I might build you a brand new studio.

I think you need a new studio. And then I'm like, I don't know, man. You don't have to. And then he's like, all right, so where's the wall exactly? I'm like, it's right next to us. And he's like,

maybe we'll just take the wall out. Like he wants to remodel your house. He's now talking about demolition. Yeah, exactly. Like he could probably remodel your house. He's now talking about demolition. Yeah, exactly. He could probably build a full house. Yeah. That's insane. He's incredibly talented.

And yeah, he's here. We got to hang out with him. He was in Burbank. I mean, he's seeing the sights. He's in LA. He was in Burbank today. I was going to go chill with him on that blood moon or whatever it was the other night. Blue moon.

Blue moon. Blood moon. The blood moon. whatever it was the other night. Blue moon. It was like Apocalypto. You cut somebody's heart out, throw it down a staircase. It was too cloudy or something, so we didn't go, but we're going to hang soon. We all got to hang with Yarmules. God bless Yarmules and check out his podcast,

the Low Tee Podcast. Anyway, back to this video. What are you going to do, right? Call anybody. Let me see your phone. Okay, okay, okay. I don't know anyone who's up. I don't know anyone who's up.

Man, I don't give a fuck who up. You finna make somebody wake up. His background on his phone is just the Rugrats. He called Napoleon. He a pedophile. Motherfucker loves Rugrats. Look, call somebody. Put him on speaker.

What are you doing? He calling me? Before we fuck you up out here, nigga, what you calling me? This is an upgrade. You got like Griselda catching pedophiles now? Yeah, dude. This is Westside Gun and Benny the Butcher catching pedophiles. You a pedophile, dog. Boop, boop, boop. Boop, boop, boop, boop, boop. How old is she? 15.

What you was talking about doing with her? Hey, it's your brother. Oh, that's your brother? He's like, who? He's being funny. Yo, what's your name? Austin West. Who is Austin?

That's my brother. I thought your name was Austin. Oh, by the way. He just told me your name. So there he was just going to say it. But so he gave his brother's name. Yes. That's the biggest scumbag thing ever.

Oh, wow. He's basically painting his brother as a pedophile. He goes, that's my brother. He goes, he got me into all this. You a hoe ass nigga, dog. You know Austin? Your brother Austin? I'm Austin.

You Austin. Okay, your brother Alex was trying to be you. He's out in Pontiac, Michigan trying to have sex with a 15-year-old girl. We out here in Pontiac, Michigan trying to have sex with an 8-year-old. Yes, he's out here being caught. I don't know if you heard of me, but I'm Bupac Shakur. Bupac Shakur? Damn.

That's pretty sick. Wow. Why do you think it's called Bupac? Yeah, there's no B. He's scary, dude. There's no C, I mean. Well, maybe he's a blood or something. I know, but does he think there's a C

in Tupac? I bet maybe his first name is Bupac. There is a C in Tupac. Like the whole Bompton thing is because there's a C. You don't say C words. Oh, right. You've got to be like Tupomb. I think Bupac is his final name. Tupomb. Bupac. Where's the C? Maybe that's

his actual first name. It might be his actual first name. Honestly, it might be his real name. Yeah, it could be like Ethiopian or something. They call me Bupac. Bupak. Where's the C? Maybe that's his actual first name. It might be his actual first name. Honestly, it might be his real name. Yeah, his name's like Boo. Yeah, it could be like Ethiopian or something. They call me Bupak Shakur. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's cool. Yeah.

My man's called Jamez. Trying to meet up with a 15-year-old girl for sex in Pontiac, Michigan. He right here, right now with his car fucked up and everything. He ain't going to be able to make it home, G. He need help. And he was trying to be you. He ain't gonna be able to make it home, G. He need help. And he was trying to be you. He bought a big-ass bottle of Sevecca for her. Sevecca?

Man, they're like, man, he isn't even fucking, like, he's dressed like shit. Damn, bro. Sevecca? For a 15-year-old girl, dog? You bought... Hit that nigga phone with the glass breaker.

Hit his phone with the glass breaker. He's laughing now. What you reaching for, nigga? Because I beat your ass off. You got the vape, too? Give me that vape. Hand my man some vape.

You bought everything, huh? That's a vape? We called the cops. I don't even know if I want to give you your phone. Hey, Austin. Yes? You see what's going on with your brother? Austin's on Oxy right now He's a pedophile, he's out here trying to meet little girls in Pontiac

And have sex with her He's trying to have sex with a 15 year old girl Do you give a fuck? I do give a fuck I know it's late He's like I do give a fuck but I'm getting sucked off by a child This shit happens overnight I know it's late. He's like, I do give a fuck, but I'm getting sucked off by a child right now. This shit happens overnight.

You know, these pedophiles come at it at two o'clock in the morning to meet kids. Hey, I messed up. You so did, fucker. I messed up. Man, I just fumbled into this. Oh, dude.

I told a fib. I, you know, sorry. God damn it, you know, I just, I messed up. Put me in detention. I've never met up with anyone before. No, you, yeah. Yeah, we can tell, sorry. God damn it, you know? I just, I messed up. Put me in detention. I've never met up with anyone before. No, you... Yeah, we can tell, but...

How many kids you fucked with before? Sure, sure. I just... My brother's not a pedophile, sir. Oh, yes, he is a pedophile. He wouldn't be here if he wasn't a child predator. What was the conversation about? Um...

What'd you say in the conversation? Let me see. What'd you say in the conversation about? What you say in the conversation? Let me see. What you say in the convo? You was trying to have sex with her, right? For some money? No. What you was trying to do? You bought her a bottle of Seveka.

I'm holding a bottle of Seveka right now. Big bottle. Big giant bottle. I can't see right now, but you're like, whatever you're comfortable with. So you were coming to have... You know what you came to do. How far did you drive? I drove two hours.

He drove two hours. They always... Dude, they always take a road trip, these guys. These guys, like, always... It's like... It's a Tommy boy. It's like a fucking...

Yeah, like, they think they're in a movie. They're pulling over at gas stations, like, hey, guys, Big Gulp's up. I'm a fucking child. They're on their way to meet the kid

but he's like wait what's that come on let's stop off it's a road trip let's do some spontaneous it's a road trip come on let's see the sights before I fuck the kid

where are you from you can't tell me that's not pedophiles where are you from I'm from Marshall Marshall Michigan yeah he's like man

you know where Pontiac is Austin no I don't. You drove all the way to the hood, baby boy. Two hours to the hood to meet a little girl. For sex. You a piece of shit.

You are a piece of motherfucking shit. This guy's so tired on the phone. Hold this real quick. Quit following me, nigga. You can't get shit. Come here real quick I'll just bottle some Vecna You about to drink later

How am I gonna listen To the newest Lemon Party If you break my phone He's like Oh you don't wanna look at that It's a hate watch Lemon Party Fuck that

Where your keys at You ain't got no keys Where your keys at They're in my pocket. Let me see them bitches. Let me see these motherfuckers. No, the car keys are right in the walls. He threw the keys on the roof.

Stuck in the yak, nigga. Threw the keys on the roof. He got the keys on the roof. Stuck in the yak. What's your name? What'd he say? Stuck in the yak? Yeah, that's what they call Pontiac.

That kicks ass. Stuck in the yak. Stuck in the yak. Man. Cameras say I like little girls. I came call Pontiac. That kicks ass. Stuck in the yak. Stuck in the... Man. Cameras say I like little girls. I came to Pontiac to do what? He's like, I'm a little... It's a little nippy out here.

I put on my hoodie. He's trying to fit in, dude. What's your full name? Say it. I did... What's your full name? He starts battle rapping. You didn't do anything because we was here,

but otherwise you would have been a little girl. You could have been a speaker. It's like like if I say hey you say ho fellas he's like my name is John Leventhal I'm a pedophile I'm a pedophile

back door her mom didn't come back till 8 she I worked all that shit so what's it so what was your

intention sir can you leave my brother alone your brother fuck this phone bitch now your phone on the roof too now what just want to leave my brother bitch what i feel like beating your ass i promise

i do but since you bought it fuck fuck you you a pedophile nigga say i'm a pedophile or i'm gonna punch you in the face say it okay one two three i'm two, three. I'm a pedophile. Say it. I'm a pedophile. What's your name? Full name. My name's Alex West. Where you from? I messed up. Where you from?

I'm from Marshall, Michigan. Where you work at? I goofed on this. I admit. Throw up your set, pedophile. Where you work at? They go, where you work at? It's like Balenciaga.

He gets all hood. He's all Balenciaga. He goes, I work for Balenciaga. I know y'all in the hood like pedophile clothing. That's my other favorite thing about these pedophile hunters that they're trying to... They're not going. They don't leave Pontiac.

You come to me. You bring me my favorite vape. You bring me a bottle of booze. We're going to bust you. Go back home. We're going to get a million views. We never got a you bring me a bottle of booze yes and now we're gonna bust you go back home and get a million views you know later we got a vape and a bottle of booze later that night this guy gets an uber home or what i don't know who somebody picks them up those these dudes that are the pedophile hunters they go on the roof they get the keys they sell the car they jailbreak they jailbreak his phone they man, we made out like bandits tonight.

I'm going to sock you. Where do you work at? Where do you work? I work at an animal sanctuary. What is it called? What is it called? It's called Critchlow Alligator Sanctuary. Who? Critchlow Alligator Sanctuary. Say it clearly. Say it clearly.

Bitch ass niggas. You're a pedophile. Say it clearly. Critchlow Alligator Sanctuary. Say it clearly. Critchlow Alligator Sanctuary. Bitch ass niggas. You're a pedophile. I love this guy. Call him a faggot. Man, maybe the black dudes listen to Lemon Party and hate watch. I think they both. If they would have just been like, hey, you hear the new Lemon Party, they'd be like,

you know what? Get out of here. They'd go mad. Devin was just calling you guys faggots the other day. He's like, man, I like the pedophile jokes, but they don't know shit about black shit, man. Nothing. Oh, man. Alright, let's head over to the Patreon.

I would like to do another hour on the main e-buy. I guess if you want to stop, we'll stop. Joey left last week in the middle of the episode. I would like to do another hour on the main e-buy. I guess if you want to stop, we'll stop. Joey just has, because Joey left last week in the middle of the episode. On Patreon. So you think you can make it up next week and be like, no, but I did three hours the next week.

Joey's like, all I care about is the people. No, because I had to leave on the last one. I had to. Why'd you have to? It was, I had this, A, I'm a cuck. So you did have to leave. You fed into your... No, yeah, I'm a cuck. I was a cuck. You're a cuck. No, but I always want, A, I'm a cuck. So you didn't have to leave you to bed and dinner.

No, yeah, I'm a cuck. I was a cuck. You're a cuck. No, but I always wanted to go, but I'm a cuck, so I couldn't. That's the thing. But I wanted to do five hours.

I appreciate the honesty, honestly, and so that's fine with me. Well, thank God. We're good. Patreon.com slash hatewatchpod. Is it hatewatchpodcast? Podcast. Podcast.

Patreon.com slash hatewatchpodcast. You know, what is your name on Instagram, Richie? Richie Rich Gaines. Richie Rich Gaines. Richie Rich Gaines. Joey R. LaFleur on Instagram. John Badman on Instagram.

Two Ds. You know. Everybody who listens to this podcast already has seen this, I'm sure, but New Lemon Party Sketch. I'm in it. That's right. Check out the New Lemon Party Sketch. It would be insane if any of our listeners hadn I'm in it. That's right. Check out the new Lemon Party sketch.

It would be insane if any of our listeners hadn't seen that already. There are weird people, though, that only listen to Hatewatch. They'll scroll by it. That is true. The loyalist, the loyal Hatewatch fans that refuse to get into Lemon Party, which is fine with me.

Shame on you guys. Shame on you. We're a big family here. Just check out the new sketch on the Lemon Party, which is fine with me. First of all, shame on you guys. Shame on you. Come on, we're a big family here. And yeah, but just check out the new sketch on the Lemon Party channel, Epic Night with the Wolf Pack. Very funny video

and hope you like it. All right, good night.