Have A Word with Adam Rowe & Dan Nightingale - #37 Shutdown Pod (VIA ZOOM) -w/Adam & Dan

Episode Date: April 20, 2020

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What's happening guys, it's Adam here. Just a quick word from our sponsors before we kick off today's episode. That is Beer52.com Beer52 is the UK's most popular craft beer discovery club. They're number one, baby! And they'll send you some amazing beers every month and you can rate and review them via their website to earn points and rewards. Now every month's beers that you get sent will have a brand new theme.

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Pokey Pokey Picking a Pokey Good morning job seekers Oh my god Okay it's happening Catch me outside How about that Have you never seen me before

Upset me Nasty bitch I'm big boned I'm heavy structured I'm hung low if i pull my shit out this whole room get dark disgusting it's the end of the world as we know it and i feel like podcasting two mics two lids and a lot of time on their hands this is have a word shut down dailies let's get through this mess together.

But I feel good. You're feeling good, are you, brother? Oh, I've done that thing where I can't see your bloody face. There you are. Are you? You hairy little gem. I'm pretty good. I'm having a turbo shandy.

Why? On a Monday? Three days in a row. Really? You're becoming a little pissy pops i got the fucking taste you know what i realized was it just makes every day seem a little bit better so yesterday and uh this isn't an official ledge of the day but i tell you what i appreciate the fuck out of my new neighbors who we've got a semi-detached and they're the ones attached to us but instantly as soon as we moved in we like neighbors on either side and because we've this is the first house we've bought and i've had so many eggy rental neighbor relationships where you're like i'm gone in a year you cunts so i just thought let's fucking go in we got a

bottle of wine early doors like hi we're the new neighbors and it just set the whole thing off really well and i think a lot of people will will look back at this lockdown and the shutdown and it it's forced people to value the things that are right on your doorstep like in your house next door and the people across the way where i haven't got time for some of my best mates from back in the day normally because we're so busy doing all sorts of shit and they're busy. All of a sudden, I definitely can't see them. I can't even see you.

It's this. It's this little area, isn't it? And our neighbours on either side have been fucking tremendous. Our garden is just full of inherited shit that they've cleared out sheds and gone, we've got a slide, we've got this, we've got a little doll's house it to the point where etta was a bit like jesus you could tell she was like this is too much shit guys we've inherited i like playing but not this fucking much anyway because it was laura's birthday on friday the neighbors were like we're gonna have should we have a barbecue so a little parallel barbecue and and last night they had a barbecue on one side of the hedge and we had the

on the other and like fucking trying to pass me over without like so like leaving it on near the hedges like a tree stump and like it was so ridiculous trying to do social distancing and a barbecue at the same time and they're such a 40 year old who lives in suburban Cheshire yeah totally good on yeah but I'd have got coke if I could have got coke I would have

got coke good on Audra and Alistair from next door who have been absolute gems and I was in such a good mood

because they were being so nice sorry can we just pause for a sec what are their names Audra and Alistair

right check this no no no no no check this their kids, no, no, no, no, no. Check this. Their kids are called Adrian and Aaron. Yeah. It's the battery family.

They're called Drupal A's. They've got two dogs. Yep. They've got fucking A names. Oh, my God. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Alan and Alfred. should know this yeah it's like aura i can't remember but they they've just got this thing i can't i don't know i honestly don't know the dog's names i don't know your neighbors but i can tell you right now having not met them

i hate them all yeah yeah it's the kind of thing that makes you want to dislike them and then you meet them and they're nice to you and you go oh they're dead nice people they've just got this weird thing where they wanted to be the front of the the register at school for some reason they're like right this is how you succeed in class you're first in the fucking register so it's not audrey audra audra that's not a name is it right listen not a real name i've just nominated them for ledge of the day can you just let it stand for three seconds before you start ripping the fuck out of them and eve i before the podcast i was like am i gonna say that that their names are ordering alistair and i'm gonna tell adam even though he's a fellow a name Alistair

it's your wife Audra where's Aaron where's Adrian where's Aaron and Adrian and our dogs Alfred and Alan and Adolf where's Adolf would we gather round the Arga I think we should

look at the Argos catalogue together I wondered where you were going with that you pulled Argos out what would you like for dinner? for dessert some apple crumble we only do things with an A in this house ledge of the days

but I started drinking middle class nonces of the day they were trying to drinking. Middle class nonsense of the day. They were trying to pass AdvoCar over the hedge. I was like, guys, it's a turbo shandy or nothing these days. I bet you they fucking love avocado. Middle class and love the rays. That's an avid... They stockpiled avocado when everyone was panicked by Embogrel.

They were like, oh, no, no, God must have our avocado. What you deem as middle-class is not necessarily middle-class. You think anyone would like and Alistair, mate, you think anyone with a diesel cars, middle-class like anything, anyone who hasn't got a fucking dump valve is like, Oh my God,

posh twat over here. Anyone who's still got their dust caps on their wheels you're a tardy cunt so anyway i got a little bit hammered during that barbecue and then there was some beer open and there was a smirnoff ice already open and about an hour ago i was like fuck it why not don't know why it's turbo shandy but i've decided this is a uh i don't know what you'd call this. It's slightly flat because the beer's been there for 24 hours. Like it's like a fucked

turbo shandy. The beer's been open for 24 hours? Yeah, it's just sat in the fridge. There's about three quarters of a can of Corona. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. You open alcohol, carbonated alcohol, you will open a can of beer and if you don't finish it you won't

pour it away you'll put it in the fridge uh you're showing your naivety as a non-turbo shandy drinker when you're drinking turbo shandies you're dealing with halves and fucking you know you're topping up here and topping up there essentially you've got to have a smirnoff ice on one in one hand a cronenberg on the other and you're topping up and sometimes sometimes it's not. You're just, you're left out. I didn't realise I'd done it, but I saw it this afternoon and thought, fuck it, I'm going to drink the rest. So I'm having a flat Turbo Shandy. No, you're still wrong, and here's why, okay?

I'd pour it away, would I? Who's middle class now, dickface? When you're creating a... You! You are! When you're creating a Turbo Shandy, here's what you do. You fill half of the pint glass with a Smirnoff ice bottle. Yeah. Right?

And then you fill the rest of the pint glass with ideally a bottle because that's about the right size or a stubby can. But if you've got to use a big can, do you know what you do? Yeah. You make your turbo shandy with that

and then what's left in the bottle and the can, you neck it before you go even near your turbo shandy. Yeah. Stop being a middle class pussy. That's how you lose a foot. That's how you lose a foot, mate. I can't throw in my beer.

No. I will leave it in the fridge until I am ready to drink more. Adam, that kind of chat is how you lose a foot. That. I want one drink and I've made one drink, but I have two drinks left.

What should Adam do? I'll drink all the fucking drinks. Oh, Adam's ruined the Kristen drinks oh Adam's ruined the Kristen again he's ruined the Kristen I guarantee you our listeners are on my side so you're telling me I love it how we've literally left the lockdown

it's 48 hours later we're like right back into it just the same fucking podcast also by the way the virginity stories never in in the four months we've been doing this bullshit has something made everyone go oh let me tell you my story it turns out virginity tales and and weirdly it's so human the drama even though then even some of the ones that are not funny like fuck i'm really glad i read that we've we've that episode

we've just picked up where we've left off and now we're arguing about turbo shandy if you've made a full pint of turbo shandy you don't need to neck because that's the next turbo shandy and now you should have enough smearing off ice left for another turbo shandy all right sorry i've got these big like like, 75 centilitre or whatever, big, fat Smyrna files. With a screw top? Yeah, the big trouble ones, yeah. So that's fine.

You keep that. Oh! Oh! He takes a step back. My God. Yeah, because you can stop that going flat. Yeah, right. Because you can put the screw top back on.

You can't leave an open can of lager for 24 hours and then make a drink with it nasty bitch I can assure you it's quite dope it's flat as fuck it's still working it's still working I'm just jealous because I'm sat here drinking San Pelgrino

oh Adam can we get some Buckfast for one of the lockdown lock-ins? If you want. I've got my beer 52. I promise you I'm going to do that today. But I really want some Buckfast. At uni, I went to uni in Newcastle, and there was a lad from Glasgow,

the most sectarian fucking Rangers fan ever, and he introduced us to Buckfast, which is like fortified wine with like a little bit of caffeine and a little bit of crystal meth in it. Oh my God. It's like communion wine, except it's got pure evil pumped straight into it. No, it's like a Scottish,

it's like the alcoholic version of Iron Brew, isn't it? It's like, this is our fucking tang. We fucking drank it yeah just had to place your accent there you just took me around the map a little bit that says I'm fucking tang that says I'm right

you do an accent in my head I'm like you go to this town, compete you know you get competitive but I love how in your head, I'm like, you're good at this, Dan, compete. You know, you get competitive, but I love how in your head, you're like, yeah, nailed that.

This is where your competitive nature becomes very comical to me. Cause you're like, fucking nailed that. Gary fucking, I'm a guy. I did David Attenborough last night for Jade. And she just, she said it was shit.

And it really done me adding. Cause I thought, well, last night, last night, she like, come to bed and do your day. for Jade and she said it was shit and it really done me adding. What? Last night? Last night she was like, come to bed and do your David Attenborough. Here in the bedroom. What the fuck's that?

We see, I can't do impressions, but we see the wild flaps in the natural habitat of peeking out the PJs. Is Jade a big PJ wearer? Is she like straight in a Jimmy Jam? They're all PJs, they're all Harry Potter as well.

Oh, fucking hell. Yeah. Has she asked you to bang, like, roleplay as Harry Potter? No, she hasn't asked me. I'm a dick wizard nothing else i just want i'm a dick it's my least favorite thing in the whole film. I'm a wizard. Oh, my God, you little shit.

You'd make a good Hagrid now. Have you seen that old Scottish video? You're a fucking wizard, Harry. Have you seen it? Yeah, I have seen it, but I want you to do it for me. I'm going to go to Hogwarts. You're going to do fucking spells.

You're a fucking wizard. You're gonna go to Hogwarts, you're gonna do fucking spells, you're a fucking wizard, you're a weak cat. You do a really good Hagrid and Jade looks like Daniel Radcliffe so you're fucking sorted. Just at night, get a fucking

a red sharpie and just start drawing on the fucking the scar what you doing adam shut up you'll love it do you and laura ever do role play yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah you're quite limited in oh no no no we do amazing role play she plays tired mom and i play sex best and honestly the commitment we give those roles it's unbelievable like she will look appalled so commits to it 100 she gives it everything and i will wank in the spare room with such commitment

no i've yeah how how would you how would you keep a straight face as a comedian you're a dirty girl like it i'm like you know what it's like as a comedian? You're a dirty girl. Like, you know what it's like as a comedian. You're just waiting for anyone to say something daft. So you're like, I'm telling loads of strangers about this in comedy clubs. You can't, you couldn't be. I'm a mechanic and you've brought in a Citroën fucking Picasso. The cam bell slipped.

I'm going to put it back in place. I don't know if that's a role play that people do. Sexy, quick fit. Oh, your tyres are bald. I'd like Jade to act like, um, to work St. Greg's. So I come in and I'm like I love

I'm like whatever steak bake please she's in a tabard she's in the Greg's tabard and her name's Linda make it Linda make it be Linda be Linda

for me tonight Linda Linda customer here for you love so I get I get someone else to say that and then

Jade comes over as Linda and I go right then can I have a steak bake, please, love? And she goes,

oh, we've got no steak bakes left. And I go, but I can see one there. She goes, oh, that's my one. You're going to have to work for it

if you want my pasty. And then what happens? Then you have sex. Yeah. We have sex. Yeah. We have sex, but then, halfway through it, I reach for the pasty, and she slaps me on the way, and she's like, not till I'm finished.

And I'm like, but I need the energy. Jade, is that it? It's happened again. It's happened again. Jade can hear you through the door and she's gone, fuck off with that! I am cringing. Oh no.

Get on board! Get on board! Adam, when you do this roleplay, can I... Can I play the disgruntled single mother of two that's behind you in the queue? Trying to feed my kids with sausage and all that. If you're really going to go for authenticity.

I honestly, this is genuinely, I thought this was going to be a sexual fantasy about Greggs. Right? I'm in Greggs. There's role players jade works in greg's yeah and i come in greg's and then i say can i have a steak bake and she goes yeah i'll give you friends and family discount and i thought that was going to be your full sexual fantasy just a slightly cheaper fucking steak bake oh Oh, God. Go home and have a wank. Oh, God, that's 45 pence off. A little tip for anyone,

if you ever do have a wank and you've got no tissue nearby, the paper bags you get pasties in are quite handy for that. If you've ever used a Greggs bag to wipe up semen, end your life listen people are fucking dying out there

the NHS is strained don't do don't end a life that will need a hospital just find a furnace and throw yourself fucking right into it river

just you're a disgrace and if you've ever used a pound bakery I'll be really trying And if you've ever used a pound bakery pan. I need a break. Should we have a word from the sponsors? I don't know where you go from there.

What are we doing? I know, listen, I know I've had a beer, but was that as good as I think it was? Like in my head, I'm like, that was amazing. Monday, straight back on it. Am I drunk? And you're like, that was really patchy. But genuinely, that was probably the best one we've ever done.

First section, Mark. No, that was very, very funny. I mean, edit this bit out. We're on the podcast. Fire! I'd like to tell you about Trans Alloy Wheels Limited. Alloy wheel refurbishments, car bodywork and customisation services in Leeds and throughout West Yorkshire. We are a well-trusted family-run business

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Trans Alloy Wheels Limited. Ah, thank you. Okay, boys. Let's do another feature already. Have a word. Do you want to... No. You're pissed, aren't you?

Would you rathers? Would you rathers? Would you rathers? Would you rathers? Okay. Yeah. I'm up for that. I love a would you rather. Would you rather have a supercar on the outside,

but with the engine of like a one litre fucking nanomobile or like a really boring just like nissan micro looking fucking like small car budget car but with like a souped up fucking v8 nought to 60 in three seconds with all the brakes and everything but it looks shit what would you rather have, souped up to fuck I'd rather have the souped up to fuck with a shit engine would you? yeah, because like

I don't really go anywhere apart from like the shop and that at the minute anyway so I can't really use that engine much plus I feel like even in normal times when we're allowed to gig and that on that at the minute. Yeah. Anyway, so I can't really use that engine much. Right. Plus, I feel like even in normal times when we're allowed to gig and that,

I'd get too excited and it'd get done for speeding or something. Oh yeah, there's always that. I mean, I'd want to use it too much, but with the normal one,

one litre car, but it looks sick. You're pulling off places, people are like, who's that cool guy? The woman in Greg's is like, oh, he's back again.

Yeah. It would be impressive to people it would look impressive you see the weird thing is that is i've seen supercars banging around and they never go fast do they no they literally just it's like you never actually see them go fast so people have bought them and they're like i'm gonna drive this but i remember living in leeds for for a year and uh the amount of young like asian dudes with lamborghini i mean i'm saying the amount it wasn't like every young asian dude but there was like loads of like young muslim lads who look my age like late 20s in fucking yellow lambos and i'm daft enough to be like i need to stop drinking if that's what a fucking car you end up with like that's a direct correlation between lack of bacon and supercars these these lads are muslim

they don't drink and they they've got Lamborghinis. Nah, I'm going to quit drinking. Get myself a Lambo. So you never actually see them go fast. But it'd be very disappointing if Jade was like, oh, that's such an amazing Lamborghini. And the fact that it's only like 40 quid a month on insurance is mental. But just take us for a drive.

I want to feel alive. I'm wearing my fucking, I'm wearing my Gryffind a drive. I want to feel alive. I'm wearing my fucking, I'm wearing my Gryffindor scarf. I want it to flow in the wind as you just rev the fuck out of the engine. Jade's a Slytherin, actually. Dirty bitch.

Upset me, nasty bitch! Mate, Slytherins love it up the arse. Don't they? Slytherins are into up the arse. Don't they? Slytherins are into some fucking nasty sex, aren't they? What are you saying about my missus? Well, you said she was a Slytherin. Anyone who says that. What do you reckon you'd be?

You're a little Hufflepuff, you aren't you? Fuck. You're a little fucking Hufflepuff, you are. Fuck you. Could you imagine if I put the hat on? He was like, Oh, Dan Nightingale. Hufflepuff.

You would be a Hufflepuff. I'd be like, Oi, Albus, your hat's a homophobe. Sort that shit out. You are a Hufflepuff, though. You're, you're, I haven't got anything to come back with now

because we've done the house. No, you're not. I've done the test. I'm a Slytherin. No, you're not. I've done the test. I'm a Slytherin. How are you a Slytherin? Because I am. What? I did the test.

It's foolproof. It's on the official Harry Potter website. I'm a Slytherin. I guarantee you, you're a Hufflepuff. Fuck off. Stop calling me a fucking Hufflepuff. Also,

stop taking pride in being a Slytherin. You're essentially a fucking Nazi. Actually, Snape being a Slytherin. You're essentially a fucking Nazi. Actually, Snape was a Slytherin, and he's possibly the greatest wizard of all time. Yeah, but, yeah, that was a fucking, that was a pullback and reveal. Oh, Harry Potter house quiz. The sorting quiz will tell you

which Hogwarts house you truly belong to. Do you want to do this? I've already done it. I'm doing it. Fucking, if this is Hufflepuff... You've got to be honest. So read the question out as it comes up, and then tell me what your answer's going to be.

Right. Hogwarts house percentage, this is what it is. It's on BuzzFeed, so it's proper. No, that's the wrong one. Is it's proper. No, that's the wrong one. Is it? No. Yeah, you need the official one. No, wait there.

Official Harry Potter. Sort of lives up. By the way, I take the banger with the V8 just to fuck off the boy racers. Be like, look at this old wanker. Look at this noncy-looking fucker in a Toyota Yaris. And I'd be like, yeah? Do you want to go?

wanker look at this noncy looking fucker in a toyota yaris and i'd be like yeah do you want to go a fucking little 1.2 nanomobile would just fucking burn them off jade will you do me a favor will you find the pottermore sort and hot thing and send me a link to it please she won't because she's sliththerin she'll fuck you up Jade thank you go on do another one Wizarding World discover your Hogwarts house on Pottermore yeah that's it

right right she's going to have to send us the fucking quiz don't ever call me a fucking Hufflepuff Right. She's going to have to send us the fucking quiz. Don't ever call me a fucking Hufflepuff. Definitely a Hufflepuff. You're acting like a fucking Ravenclaw right now, but you're a Hufflepuff.

What does that even mean? They're not even part of the fucking story. You're calling me an extra. Do you know why that's offensive? It's a two-man podcast, and you're calling me. The Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw, they're just fucking background. They don't do shit. They never play Quidditch.

Why do I care? I'm 39. I've got a fucking mortgage, and I'm genuinely, of all the things you've called me, I'm fuming, mate. I'm almost more pissed off that you're, like, proud of being a Slytherin, you dirtbag. Yeah. I'm a snake and you're whatever a Hufflepuff is.

Slytherins. Exactly. And nothing. And nothing. You fucking lat. Oh, I'm gone. Right. Go on, you ask me the questions, I'm gone. Right. Go on, you ask me the questions, I'll be honest.

What's your date of birth? 15th of the 3rd, 1881. 1881? Yeah. Sorry, 1981. It just feels like I feel older. 15th of March, 1981. Okay. Email address? Fuck your mum. I know it. 15th of March 1981 okay email address

fuckyourmum at gmail.com call me Hufflepuff again I'll twat you at gmail.com your ma's a Hufflepuff at gmail.com password is

Hufflepuff you upset me nasty bitch Slytherin Gmail.com. Password is Hufflepuff. You. Ah! Upset me! Nasty bitch! Slytherin. Hufflepuff won. Who's proud of being a Slytherin?

Also, he's with a Slytherin. Oh. It's disgusting. Dan. Fucking little evil racist baby. Continue. I'm go. Baby. Continue.

I'm a racist dog. I'm enjoying this drink. If you like King of Kanata. Right, you ready? Mate, I've been ready. Hufflepuff's always ready. Dusk or dawn? Dawn.

That was so much Hufflepuff answer, but it was honest. Which nightmare would frighten you the most? Go on. Standing on top of something very high and realising suddenly that there are no hand or footholds nor any barrier to stop you falling. Oh, I don't like that one. I do have a bit of a height thing.

Being forced to speak in such a silly voice that hardly anyone can understand you and everyone laughs at you. No, that's how I'm making the majority of my income at the moment. So not that one. Waking up to find that neither your friends nor your family have any idea who you are. All right.

Goth. And I, at the keyhole of the dark windowless room in which you are locked in a dark windowless room it's locked

and you go to the keyhole and there's just an eye looking through it fucking hell that is a bit intense I mean is that to be honest

I am scared of heights but that's a fucking nightmare that last one especially if it was your eye so we're sorry sorry come resist um last one i'll go i i'll go the eye okay what are you most looking forward to learning at hogwarts all about magical creatures and how to befriend slash care for them. Flying on a broomstick.

Apparition and disapparition. Being able to materialise and dematerialise at will, basically. That would be good, wouldn't it? Secrets about the castle. Transfiguration. Turning one armchase into another. Yeah. Hexers and jinxes.

Or every area of magic I can. Oh oh that's just a fucking bell end answer the last one is everything no hexes and jinxes is one transfiguration is one secrets about the castle is one apparition and disapparition apparition and disapparition i'd love mate how much would you love to just to just be able to appear and not appear just fuck off basically in the middle of a conversation be like how'd you like me now so you're going with that one oh yeah i go apparition okay which of the following do you find most difficult to deal with? Loneliness, boredom, hunger, being ignored, or being cold? Are you gaslighting me?

What's happening here? Have you done this on purpose? Who mentioned Harry Potter first now? Because I'm starting to think, and this is Adam's way of having an intervention with me, and he's led me into this, and this is actually a psychological test, so he can be like, look, I had to fuck him off from the podcast

because he's clearly insane. And I'm like, oh, I'm a Hufflepuff, and you're going to get me like, institutionalized. So what do you like the most loneliness boredom hunger i'd love to be lonely being ignored or being cold right let's go through the loneliness right now anyone on a shutdown with the family would never list loneliness as a fear i would love to feel lonely i would love i think it'd take about a week and a half before i was like

where are these motherfuckers hunger yeah i'm all right i could burn off the biscuit fucking factory that i've eaten it's the being ignored that isn't it isn't it adam that as a comedian that's worse than someone hating you if you just walk on and everyone ignores you and just starts talking oh my god that is that'd be brutal because not only yeah no one's disagreeing with you they're just like you're so unimportant i'm not even looking at you right like a corporate um which of the following would you most hate people to call you of the following would you most hate people to call you jew awful puff ignorant selfish ordinary or cowardly um i'm gonna say it's gonna be between ordinary or cowardly cowardly is a stinger in it especially as a dad and a husband you're a fucking ordinary selfish ignorant coward i mean what would you have to do as a dad to be

cowardly like there's a car coming towards you and your child on a road and you you sort of you jumped out first like, but I make more money. There's less earning potential. She had to die, Laura. She had to die. Who'd pay the mortgage? The insurance company. Oh yeah. Fuck. That could also be described as selfish though.

I think cowardly is, I i don't maybe that's because i know there's a little bit in there oh cowardly i'll go cowardly okay i feel like you're cutting me to the quick here mate choose a category to continue cats toads or owls? Well, fuck cats. No, I do it. Cats are fine. Toads. Nasty bitch. And I once killed a frog.

And owls are pretty boss, aren't they? They're like... Yeah, because they do that neck thing like, what are you saying, bitch? What the fuck? Because I've got some gangster owls around me. What the fuck? What the fuck? Look've got some gangster owls around me what the fuck what the fuck looking at me y'all know me if you were attending hogwarts which pet would you choose to take with you a barn owl a barn owl a barn owl a tawny owl, a snowy owl, a screech owl, or a brown owl? I couldn't give a fuck about the first two.

Snow owl sounds too camp. I think you're going to look a little bit bisexual if you turn up like, Babe, I've got a snow owl. And I think a brown owl makes me look more racially tolerant. I'll be like, some of my best friends are brown owls. I'd go snow owl, personally, me. That's because I'm slithering, innit? It's because you're gay.

Snow owls are sick! You're a snow owl, dude. Fucking snow owl, mate. Ma's a screech owl, lad. When I put me dick in her ass. She's dead. Classic Slytherin. Brown Owl?

Yeah, Brown Owl. Because it reminds me of Brown Bummo. How irrelevant. Four goblets are placed before you. Which would you choose to drink? The smooth, thick, richly purple drink that gives off a delicious smell of chocolate and plums. Are you being groomed right now?

Because there's an undercurrent of literally gay grooming that's going on here. Would you like chocolate and plums? Four goblets would you gobble them up Adam no not that one that sounds fucking rank how many points is that

and wait watchers the mysterious black liquid that gleams like ink and gives off fumes that make you see strange visions dripping balls no that sounds fucking wrong that number three fumes that make you see strange visions. Dripping balls. That sounds fucking wrong, that. Number three.

The foaming, frothing silvery liquid that sparkles as though containing ground diamonds. Yeah, no. Finally, the golden liquid so bright that it hurts the eye, which makes sunspots

dance all around the room. Oh, yeah. I'm drinking the sunshine, bitch. Okay. I'm having a bit of that. Left or right? What? You're just telling me left or right? Choose left or right. I'm going left.

You're going left. The sourcing cat is ready to make his decision. Can you see that? Fuck me, I hope I'm not off, off, off. I'll be so fucking gutted. Come on, come on. I'd even take Ravenclaw here. Come on. If this is...

Oh, no! If I'm Gryffindor. You're a fucking Gryffindor. Yeah! Yes, mate! I'm fucking ripping it off! I wanted you to be that little shitty Hufflepuff. You, you're my natural enemy. And we knew that. I'll fee you on the quidditch pith.

Now, we've talked a lot about harry potter let's uh let's talk about people's virginity harry potter oh no i've got to do would you rather i've got we've got we've got a cracking would you rather from amy johnston guys can i just, I'm so glad I came across this podcast link on Instagram. Been a fan of Adam for a while, even though he's a dirty fucking Slytherin. She's written that.

I don't know where she found that out. But this podcast is something else. It's legit getting me through this isolation. It's worth £10 a month for sure.

I thank you, Amy. I got free beers delivered to my door. Get in. Who is this woman? She's phenomenal. Now, if you had to choose between one of these, would you rather? If you had to go out with someone who had the face and genitals of the opposite sex, would you rather go out with someone who has a girl's face, but with a dick or a guy's face with a vagina would you rather

from amy johnston i like how your man works amy would you rather go out with someone who has a girl's face but with a dick so basically a lady boy or a guy's or a really manly looking woman adam hang on so if they've got a fanny have they also got tits as well is it like neck up one gender and neck down a different one i she hasn't specified but i think we should i think we should say this i don't want the tits to be the deal breaker either way so neither uh it's not about tits it's about the so is it base is it a female body with a man's head is that it or like a man's body with a female head right right so she's not said so let's let's let's just i think it's a female body with a man's face and head right but i think the breasts can't be like a deal breaker so they can't be like amazing

whatever you're into wapalapa ding dongs are you a big boob man are you bothered uh no i'm more into ass and legs okay good so i just think normal, you know, just whatever normal, just a standard. But it is a female body. It's a female body. She's got boobs, but you wouldn't, like... I mean, you know, fine. Decent job.

You know, C plus. I want the fanny. You want the fanny with a man's head? Yeah. I want the fanny. You want the fanny with a man's head? Yeah. What if it's your best mate?

No, that's not fair. No, that's not fair. Because that's your best mate with a vagina. And I don't know what he's up to in Japan, but that would be a big getting home, wouldn't it? Like, lad, I've got something to tell you. Do you know what Nagasaki changed me? A 100-question quiz that me and like 10 of his mates did via Zoom.

Okay. It was the most ridiculous quiz I've ever been involved in. It was fucking hilarious. Here's exactly, word for word, what one of the questions was. Pope Francis is famously 1.73 meters tall.

How many Pope Francis is famously 1.73 metres tall. How many Pope Francis's is the length of the Golden Gate Bridge? The last round was a lightning round of cock or bollock. So he zoomed in on pictures of either a cock or a bollock. That was round 11. Please, can we get him involved in this podcast when he comes back? I know he might want to be a teacher, but I think he's got a higher calling. And as a Gryffindor,

I think he should come. You know, I think I've got that kind of authority to say that sort of thing. People will listen to me. Carl's a Slytherin as well. Is he? Fuck. He is. And we're both gonna team up and fucking bang you. You're done. Nasty bitch.

What are we talking about? Oh yeah, I think I'd go I think I'd go beautiful. I mean, how beautiful is this woman? Is it like Scarlett Johansson with a six inch dick? No, so it's either Laura with my body or it's my head with Laura's body.

Oh, my God! Oh! Oh! Right. Or this is yours. Jade's body and my fucking head. Or my body with Jade's head? Oh.

I'd rather just pull my cock off. I'd rather do a Cliff Richard. I'd still rather have your head than her body. I can't be fucking your body. I don't want to see your dick and your little gooch. I've got no interest.

Nah. I need vagina in me life. You be yanging, yanging, yanging. No, I think I'd try a little bit of dick and balls. So you'd go Lord of Head on my body? No. Let's change it. Let's change it.

No, no, no, no, no think i think i think we've ruined it with the full body i think it's like you with a it's me with a vagina it's me completely with just jade's vagina or jade completely but just with my dick so it's literally the full woman's body all the soft fun bits but with my little with my little willy okay well by extension

that means it's either Laura with my dick or me with Laura's vagina what do you want I want Laura

what you're saying is 97% 97% Laura with 3% go on no I want to change it a little bit. So it's Laura, right? Yeah. But with my dick and my arsehole.

Oh, Jesus. I'll be honest, hers is in tatters. So you get my nether region of my bum, my bum hole, my gooch, my dick, but the rest of it's Laura. Or you get all of me, but that bit's from Laura. What? You've been the ugliest Laura I've ever seen. How much do you love vagina that you could look at the whole of me

and be like, well, at least she's got a fanny. I haven't answered yet. I want your answer first. I'll tell you, little dick and gooch. I'll tell you, bummo. I'll tell you, bummo. I'll tell you, bummo. I'll just never go anywhere near it.

Ever, ever, ever shaved or waxed it. Of course not. But that doesn't mean Laura's not going to. If she instantly inherits. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Of course not. But that doesn't mean Laura's not going to. If she instantly inherits... No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. What? No. You can't give it up and then lose control of it.

No. It's perpetually in the state of it right now after three weeks of lockdown. I've stopped using baby wipes as well. I've stopped my system. Have you? But the alternative is just a

vagina on you, so I'd never get hard. Is it Saturday? Have we done a lockdown locking? Usually on Monday it's like, right, back to business. Serious. Could you not just bend me over and just like... Oh! Oh, my God.

Oh, my God. I don't... There's nowhere to go. Answer the question! So you're going with Laura's body, but my dick and arse? I'll deal with it. I'll deal with it. I'll deal with it. I'm into some stuff.

Change it up. Change it up. You know? Okay. No need for begging. Go au naturel. What would you do? I think we should have some of the Genesee stories.

I think you should throw yourself off a bridge. What would you do? I'd kill myself have some of the Genesee stories. I think you should throw yourself off a bridge. What would you do? I'd kill myself. End of game. That's what I'd do. It doesn't matter. Oh, no, no, no. Adam, Adam, Adam, you know you're not allowed to say that. That's like poison to this sort of shit.

If you like being a cool ladda. This is getting out of hand, isn't it? Is it? Do you want a more serious comedy podcast? I'm so sorry. like being a cool lady I guess it's getting out of hand isn't it is it do you want a more serious comedy podcast I'm so sorry have you got a

virginity story I have but the two I've picked out I'm just glancing over them they're pretty grim what's your stomach like I'm just glancing over them. They're pretty grim.

What's your stomach like? I'm fine. Go for it. Cool. Hi, guys. This is from Paul Farmer. And if he's asked for us not to say who he is, I apologize, Paul. Hi, guys.

Pissed myself laughing at today's podcast about sex stories, and it reminded me of my mate telling me his first time. Bear in mind, he told me this after a night out on the piss, and we're both sat hungover as fuck in KFC, scoffing a mega bucket. I just got, like, remorse that KFC was closed. Basically, he went back to this girl's house after a night out. She was a posh bird, like, I'm telling you,

this guy's from the northeast of England. Basically, he went to this girl's house after a night out. She was a posh bird lake. Yeah, instantly, in my voice, it didn't make sense. She was a posh bird lake. Doesn't make sense. She was a posh bird lake. Makes total sense.

They got through the front door. They got through the front door, and she told him she couldn't go upstairs as her parents' room was right next to hers. So she took him into the front room. She then proceeded to tell him she was on a period. This is literally his wording. Oh, no. So offered him the old chutney shoot. The old chutney shoot.

Let's do it in North East accent. She then proceeded to tell him she was on her fucking blob and offered him the whole chutney shoot. And like a geezer, he fucking jumped at their chance. So basically, he did the deed and shot his chops.

She got off the couch to go to the kitchen to clean up and he... Oh no. no and he realizes he's got some bum nuggets on his old fella he then proceeded to wipe it clean on the heavyset front room curtains on the inner lining she comes back and then he nips to the kitchen and cleans up a few days later he got the most angry message from this girl as he gave her his number, schoolboy error, asking for money to clean the curtains

as her parents had turned the heating on the night after the deed and could smell poo in the front room. They did some digging and sniffing about and found the curtains stuck together and stinking of shit. Hang on. Can we pause for a second? This is a virginity story.

It can't be. It says, it says, it says, horrific. This is what the email is listed as. Horrific first time sex story. That's fucking bananas bear in mind that as he told me this i'm already sat feeling sick in kfc with a hangover

he then finished he finishes telling me and just continues eating his value bucket like he said nothing this guy is the kind of guy that could work in a morgue you know there's certain people like i just couldn't do that this guy has got the social disconnect of like a killer or a paramedic you know the kind of thing you need to be like what i'm seeing in front of me is horrific what i'm telling you about is dreadful but it's just life and i'm getting on with it some people like couldn't detach this guy can have sex rub his knob on curtains I'm getting on with it. Some people couldn't detach. This guy can have sex, rub his knob on curtains and just get on with his evening and he can tell the story the next day

with a fucking stinking hoover in KFC and be like, mate, can I have some of your gravy? He never saw the girl again. That's from Paul Farmer. If that's a virginity story, I think that's going to be hard to top from the off. He lost his virginity in a girl's bum hole

and wiped the shit on her curtains. Front room. Oh, God. I mean, who doesn't think downstairs toilet and tissue first? Fucking crazy, that.

Oh, disgusting. Disgusting! Disgusting Disgusting I miss KFC though I think we should have a word From Voxel Comedy Club before And we should just have a minute to reflect on What's going on It's been mental

This is what happens Six a week and this is what happens We're off the rails. Still having a great time though. Now then everyone, let's have a quick word about Vauxhall Comedy Club in that there London town. Now obviously there is

a fucking pandemic going on. No one's going comedy for a while. But as soon as they are, if you live anywhere near London, if you're down visiting in London and you fancy some stand up some of the best comics in the world will be playing

Vauxhall Comedy Club which is surprise the fucking prize in Vauxhall so basically they've helped the podcast out massively by sponsoring it

in our time of need and when we're out of the fucking bunker when we do our first live tour of this podcast the Have A Word Show for London will be at the

Vauxhall Comedy Club if you're down there and you fancy seeing some stand up after the the apocalypse give voxel comedy club a try in the meantime give them a follow on instagram at voxel comedy club on twitter at voxel comedy and on facebook they're just voxel comedy club join the mailing list so they can tell you when they're reopening and what they're doing it's voxel comedy.com. Adam's already played this room. I'm really looking forward to playing it. They do a bottomless booze ticket on a Friday and Saturday night.

You get 90 minutes of stand-up, excellent TV comedians, up-and-coming talent, and also bottomless beer and wine. There's a spirit and mixer ticket for 35 quid. There's just entry for 10. Be a good egg. Give them a little follow, and we'll see you there after all this shit has blown over Voxel Comedy Club, that's it

You are listening to the funniest podcast in the game It's Have a Word with Adam Rowe and Dan Nightingale It's time for Have a Word with Adam and Dan Saying there's all the problems you have with your friends Whatever that last thing was, it was worse than the story saying there's all the problems you have with your friends. Whatever that last thing was, it was worse than the story. Slithering, can't sing. Tell you that. So today, at the end of the episode, as always on a Monday,

we will read out our list of our 10 pound patreon producers um we are very very grateful the patron is still ticking up nicely and there's a lot of years deciding to come and join the team and we're going to have an announcement very soon on uh some really good benefits for our patreon people so keep an ear out for that over the next couple of weeks um but yeah we've got we'll do that at the next couple of weeks. But yeah, we've got... We'll do that at the end of today. Everyone who pays us a tenner a month, you're one of our producers. You'll get your name read out, your little shout out there.

If you are one of the three or five pound patrons, as always, we love you. We're so grateful for you getting involved. And yeah, just keep them coming in. If you want to support the podcast, patreon.com slash have a word pod. That's P-A-T-R-E-O-N dot com slash have a word pod.

And if you're thinking, well, they've got adverts, so they're fine. The adverts are, they're not permanent. They're not forever. And they are what they are. They might go. You never know. If you're thinking as well,

oh, I'd like to advertise on the pod, but they've already got adverts. Things change change these are limited runs on these adverts and the people who've advertised with the with us we massively appreciate but it won't be forever the patron is something where you can go i want to be a part of this podcast and i want it to continue and grow and that's what that's the small small commitment you can make and it's a massive help that's permanent i really appreciate it you're literally making the podcast possible so there you go and we're very very grateful for it now we have a have a word section for you before we get to that um first one today hello lads will you please have a word with my irresponsible husband he usually goes to the pub every friday night after work to play darts with his mates

but due to lockdown he obviously can't do that anymore as a result he's got our 15 year old son to start playing darts with them every friday in the living room now that's fine i've got no problem with a little bit of father and son bonding time. The problem is he's letting our son, who is 15 years old, remember, have four beers with them while they play, which has caused several arguments. We always agreed that we wouldn't let our children drink in our presence until they were at least 16.

He says that due to the lockdown, it's reasonable to throw that agreement out of the window, which is obviously nonsense. Have a word with them, please, boys. Love the podcast. I'm a proud patron from Emma. Now, I just want to jump in before you do, Dan, and obviously

as we've just said before I did this, we appreciate all of our patrons, but Emma can go fuck herself, okay? Guys, appreciate your £3 patrons, okay? Guys, appreciate you. £3 patrons, £5 patrons, £10 patrons. Unless I disagree with you, then you can go fuck yourself. Fine and old fucker. Whingy, whingy, whinge, whinge.

Whinge, whinge, whinge. I'm locked down. And me and my husband have got nothing to argue about, so I'm going to invent something. Twat. Does the son want to drink four beers and play darts? Is it one of them situations like, no, you do enjoy it. Come back here and finish the beer. Throw the fucking arrow.

Is he totally on board with it? I imagine a 15-year-old lad playing darts with his dad is okay with having four beers. I don't think he's being force-fed Stella Artois. I just, as a mum, do you know, I get it. Stella Artois and Emma's Artois. What's the age where it gets a bit weird? He's only nine.

Doesn't matter. He can have three beers and throw the darts. He's crying, John. He's crying. Yeah, I think 15, mate. 15. Like, come on.

Do you remember your first beer with your dad? How old were you? Probably about 12. Yeah. Where were you? First one in the house was probably a bit younger than that but i think first one in the pub i was like 12 or 13 first first beer in a pub was 12 all right cool that makes no legal sense where what was you do you remember your first bit i think i remember my dad giving me a heineken at a barbecue and in it like proper proper dad mug and I was like

it's your first beer with your dad and then I drank it it was fucking horrible it's Heineken when I was really young actually in the house I must have been about 10 maybe something like that and we were having like a little

family house party sort of thing and me and two of me cousins were bothering our respective fathers for some beer. We were like, oh, dad, let us have some beer. Let us just taste it. Let us just taste it.

And all three of them went at once. It's like they'd had an agreement. Right, come on. You can have a taste. And they were doing the old tactic of, you're 10. You're going to fucking eat this. It's going to be horrible.

And me two cousins went, and spat it out. And I went, ah. The first time I had beer, I liked it. I've always liked beer. I fucking love a beer. You're not a massive boozer, though. What?

You're not a massive boozer, are you? I was for a long time. All right, okay. Is that, not trying to just bring the pod down, is that because of what happened with your mum? Does that play on your mind? No, no, never. That's a serious turn.

Adam, as a Gryffindor, talking to a Slytherin, let's put all our shit aside here. Does that play on your mind? I've never been a massive house boozer. Right, yeah, yeah, yeah. But I used to go out a lot. Until recently.

And I just had a thing where once I'd started drinking, I wouldn't stop until I was asleep. Right. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. Just a proper, like, a very normal British level of binge drinking, but that doesn't mean it's fucking healthy, does it? I remember seeing that in American, like, whatever, podcasts

or seeing it on TV. She was like, oh, my God, they were, like, blackout drunk. And in your head, you're god they were like blackout drunk and you had you like what's blackout drunk oh you mean drunk laughing fucking hell oh my god you were like totally blackout drunk you had no idea what was going on it was so scary

I didn't even know Jessica and then you're like you mean drunk what you can't remember getting in bed yeah that's called drinking bender fucking awful puff you've gone very homophobic today and do you know what

I don't know what's I miss the homophobia and racism of a comedy club green room behind everyone's back where no one else gets to find out about it i don't know what i don't know what's happened there because sam my brother-in-law is gay and he's been here for a month and i we have been doing i tell you what we've been still this is something in our house that's been going on since i met laura we love her that's what she

said and we always have done yeah since i met laura met Laura, and I know you're meant to be a modern comedian, but it started when we first moved house and Laura's dad helped us move house and was like, I'll never fit in, it's too tight. And Laura went to me, that's what she said. And I, even though we were moving house,

I lost it. And he was like, what are you laughing at? And you couldn't tell him because he's not that, you know. But it's weird with sam because he does it but he does that's what he said he said and i've just started joining in because he's gay he's like that's what he said and what i've realized is when you've got a toddler and in and around a small child and you're like she's playing with toys or she's putting on i don't know she's

eating and or you're even just making her a smoothie this morning i was like don't squeeze it suck it are you trying and tell me you're not middle class and you made your toddler a smoothie no no she gets them in a little pack from Asda. It's not the point of the fucking bit, mate. But, yeah, that's what he said has been going on. So, actually, away from this podcast, I am about 20% more camp-stroke gay than I was before the shutdown, but apparently in this episode particularly, I've really taken offence to Hufflepuff,

so I'm going all, like like alpha and homophobe that's what he said how old will essa have to be before you let her have a drink in in your presence and be okay with it well we've talked about this and we've talked about what we were like as children because the weird thing is about parenting even though she's tiny you sort of see little character traits of like, she will not give a fuck. Like you can tell at three. We bollock her. The first three don't work

and you've got to go up to the next gear. And then she's like, oh no, now I get it. She's a little badass. She's not going to, I honestly can see the 15 year old. If we set these really strict rules, she'll be like catch my thigh how about that so we've decided that we are going to be the parents who are like look you're going to

do what you're going to do but these are our little warnings if you bang without a condom and let some dirty little fucking rat out there in the park have his way never Never mind about pregnancy. You're going to get genital warts and I'm going to have a little file of misery. Be like, darling, you have a great night. You do what you do. You're a young, independent woman. Let me tell you what genital warts sit down. I'm going to have it laminated in a file. This is what genital

warts look like. This is a stretch mark from teen pregnancy. Don't cry. It's your prom but it's my friday as well like so we're gonna let her do what she does but we're just gonna let her know some of the consequences i'm gonna be that ball bag you can because i don't want to get into the situation where like where are you going are you going to jennifer's are you going to like young kids are going to do what they do so we're going to accept that that happens kids are going to do what they do. So we're going to accept that that happens. They drink or they do drugs.

We're just going to try and be honest about these are what, this is the shit that can happen. I'm not going to be one of them strict parents. So I think we're going to let her booze at home. And I think 15 isn't around. Is that right? I think otherwise she's going to want to do it somewhere else. And I just, whose fucking house is she at?

I think 15 is when I would go for. Yeah, but we're not in Liverpool. You're a teenager now. You're halfway to being a man. Here you go, kid. Sambuca. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But if you're not in Liverpool, if you're in Chester, I think it's 15.

In Liverpool, I'd say fucking eight. You need to get through the last few years of primary school. Here's some gin. In with your packed lunch. Taddy, what about me smoothie? Nevermind that. We've got Bombay Sapphire. Off you go.

Enjoy. Enjoy your sats. So I think the interesting thing on this, have a word is, uh, that they had an agreement that it wouldn't be till they're 16 and he's broke it. Cause it's locked down.

I think that's valid. I agree with him. What do you think? I think it's pretty clear, Adam, that you are not on her side um no i i just think what what are we doing it's like the people dressing up isn't it on a friday night before this shutdown if you said we get dressed up and we just have a date night in the garden like my my sister and her and her husband had their anniversary the other week and they literally put fairy lights around the back of the garage they put the kids to bed and

they had date night on the fucking on the garden furniture and had proper a date night and normally you'd be like you wanky twats but right now you're like whatever makes you feel like a fucking person so i also think that works the other way of like, if you've got rules about not till 16, fuck off. There's nothing to do. So 15's not the end of the world. You're telling her to fuck off. This is what happens.

We both end up telling the same people to fuck off. You just take longer to get there. You see, but that's my age. That's Gryffindor. I'm a good person. I need to to right or wrong you're just you're slithering swat yeah no she's yeah she's got to ease it up a little bit she's got to ease it up a little bit what are you doing now during the shutdown that you don't

normally do what are your things that you i've had turbo shandy three days in a row i didn't drink for about a month and a half before this shut down. Well, me and Jade had a little conversation, to be honest, because she wasn't happy that I was... Because, like, I got those beer 52s, and then I got some Brewdog beers in, and I was having, like, a couple every day, and Jade was like, why are you doing that? Like, what are you doing that for?

And I was like, she's right. So I've said now I'll only drink on a Saturday. However, I did have two yesterday as well, because I did that quiz with Carl. She was right. She was right. We had a bit of an argument. Babe, you're right and you're just thinking about me so I'm only drinking on Saturday.

Apart from yesterday where I had a drink. No, but like I only had two on Saturday this week so like I had some spillover for Sunday. Do you booze together normally, you and Jade, or is it... Jade doesn't drink. Oh, yeah, that'll slow it down. Jade doesn't drink at all.

Is she Muslim? She's got a Lamborghini. Alright. Let's call that a fucking podcast live. Is that a pod? Is that a pod? Oh, God. Just a little call back at the end seemed like a natural end point. Tied it up with a bloody bell.

So today's artist is called Oli Assa. Now, Oli Assa is actually a patron of ours, but he's also a musician and he's got a fantastic song. Oli is spelt O-L-I. Assa is spelt A-S-S-O-R. His song is called What Should I Do? On Spotify, you can find him. Just search Oli Assa.

And Instagram is Oli underscore Assa underscore music. O-L-I-A-S-S-O-R. This is What Should I Do? And after the song, you'll hear our list of Patreon producers, our £10 legends, and we will see you all tomorrow. See you later. 10 pound legends, and we will see you all tomorrow.

What should I do with all my time for so long? I felt like crying. I was stuck with all your lies. Oh no, no, no. I'm going wild. I feel like I'm still a child. Who can't break out of my walls no more?

For so long I felt like crying I will stop breathing, you're not alone Oh no, oh no, oh no Now I keep my feelings in me And move on, it's just so easy, oh no What should I do with all my time? I'll stick with you and we won't buy more Look at stars into the night, oh The way you look at me, I swear I know you will always be there to help me through when I get scared, oh

For so long I thought I'd cry and I've stuck with you all night, oh Oh no, oh no, oh no Now I keep my feelings in me, never hold it, it's just so easy, oh no Oh no, no, no, I don't really care, oh no, no, no I'm just feeling it, I'm feeling happy and I know it's cause I'm yours Oh no, no, I don't need you in my my life I'm better off without all of the negativity in life Oh no no no, I don't really care, oh no no no, I'm just feeling it I'm feeling happy and I know it's cause I'm yours

Oh no no, I don't need you in my life I'm better off without all of the negativity For so long I felt like crying, I was stuck with all your lies Now I keep my feelings with me, then move on, it's just so easy So, ladies and gentlemen, this is our list of £10 patrons. Thank you so much to everyone on this list. Anyone on the £5 or £3 list, you as well. Thank you so much for your support. This is this week's list of patron legends.

We've got Gerard Keane. We've got Andy Threlfall. Is that how I pronounce it, lads? Anyway, Andy, nice one, mate. Jack Roberts, Wes Coakley, Johnny Phillips, Adam. I haven't got to say a name for you, lad. Peter Vincent, Tony Petro, Jen Wilson, Josh Holt-Flusk, Michael Woods, Martin Duxbury, Fiona McDonough, Scott Newton, Andy Mannix, Joseph Moore, Matt Flannery, Cade Bidwell,

Emma Green, Steve Green, Donna McCauley, Adam Golightly, Amy Johnston, Maxine Ayer, Jay Kyle, Simon Martin, Steve Bowress, Johnny Edwards, Pete Graves, Tom Chadwick, Graham Cashel, Lee Aitchison, Scott Brickcliffe, Saz Green, Ian Chadwick, Graham Cashel, Lee Aitchison, Scott Brickcliffe, Saz Green, Ian Chadwick, Kiefer Gallagher, Alexis Bly, Terry Burke, Dean Cochran, Steve D. Malone, Anthony Jollies, Sam McGuire, Kieran Woodall, Johnny Armstrong, Kathleen Simon, Catherine Wells,

Rebecca Thomas, Chris Watson, Ian Pringle, AJ Gregson, Janet Roskell, Carmel Merrick, Jason Hopkins, Barry Parsons, Michael Christopher, Barney Wood, Jill Bushell, Rob Upton, Daniel Pugh, Richard Palmer, Jordan Embleton, Tom Rowe, David

Everson, Anthony Doran, Sammy Taylor, Mark Hollenbach, Bunny Whitehead, James Fuchs, Mike Kivy, Julie Smith, Rob Bell, Kirstie Leonard, Steve Woolley, Paul McDonald, Glenn Turner, Anthony Wilkinson, Mike Sullivan, Colette Hind, Nathan Sharracks, Benjamin Jakes-Smith, Jess Yarwood, Jack Rush, Jack Scargill, Kieran Gibson, Frank Hughes, the Froggenb Jess Yarwood, Jack Rush, Jack Scargill, Kieran Gibson, Frank Hughes, the Frog and Booker team, Tom Peterson, Chris Jones, Louise Grimes,

Muttley, Jamie Moores, Jennifer Ridding, Mike Quirk, Owen Badman, Chris Chubbs, Rachel Herron, Christian The W, Mark Cowan, Matthew Reese, Stephen Theobald, Aaron Ledbetter, Liam D, Daniel Newman, John Barracliff, Kieran O'Connell, Joanne Parr, John White, Matt Delmaine, Donatello, Chris Townsend, Rachel Whiteley, George Mush, Sam Crow, Mark Hughes, Rachel Waring, Dan Thomas, Danny Gilligan, Lee Grant and Damien Rock. They are our £10 legends. We'll see you some other guys. Thank you as

always. Bye-bye.