Have A Word with Adam Rowe & Dan Nightingale - #40 Shutdown Pod (VIA ZOOM) -w/Adam & Dan
Episode Date: April 23, 2020Thanks to our sponsors Beer52.com, TransAlloy Wheels LTD and Lightwork Podcast Studio, follow us @haveawordpod and find us on YouTube. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoi...ces Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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What's happening, guys? It's Adam here.
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Nice one
See you in a bit
Fucking did it in one take bro
Yeah man
Now
I'm getting the word
Nuts
Cha
Upset me
Nasty bitch
Catch me outside
How about that
I'm big bonded
I'm heavy structured
I'm hung low
If I pull my shit out this whole room, get dark.
Disgusting!
It's the end of the world as we know it, and I feel like podcasting.
With video on YouTube, on social media, at Have A Word Pod,
you're listening to the funniest podcast in the game.
Have a word. Shut down dailies. Let's get through this mess together oh gee have you got a proper shirt on there Oh, gee.
Have you got a proper shirt on there?
Yeah.
A button-up shirt?
Yeah.
Just for being in the house?
Just, I've been doing DIY.
I've been doing a button-up shirt.
I've not been doing DIY in a shirt.
And then I've had a shower,
and the only thing hung up looking relatively respectable was the fucking shirt that I ironed the other day and didn't wear.
So I thought, we're going fucking formal here, kids.
I can't believe, like,
do I just want to be a slob and just have a T-shirt on all the time?
Well, we're on, what are we on?
Day fucking, I i mean it feels like
it must be day what 35 of doing this shit every day this is the first time i've not worn a cheap
fucking hoodie or t-shirt but yeah it was just the case of it was just i was i was really down
to the last minute fucking around doing diy and uh i've left this pretty tight I'm also having a beer
are you becoming a piss head Daniel yes yeah yeah I basically did three bits of DIY felt so
fucking pleased with myself I was like no I'm having a beer forgetting that one can of Cronenberg
with a little bit of lemonade top for the lady makes me feel fucking rosy.
So I've had to have a little word
with myself and calm down
while I was painting a fucking...
I was painting a fence going,
oh, fuck.
I don't know if it was the fumes
of the paint
or the one Cronenberg,
but like a little fucking lightweight.
I was like,
I feel a bit drunk.
So yeah,
maybe it's my alcohol
has made me dress up a little bit smarter than usual, but fucking... Does it like i feel a bit drunk so yeah maybe it's my alcohol has made me dress up
a little bit smarter than usual but fucking does it make you feel nice do you feel all smart and
the alcohol does the alcohol makes me feel really good like it's gonna be all positive
but yeah it was just that it was it was a case of just jumping out of the shower and i just grabbed
the first thing that was there and because we had that barbecue the other night i was like i might
wear a shirt and then i fucking didn't so it's just been sat there and i can't see any job interviews
weddings or court appearances coming anytime fucking soon so this is it i'm formal for the pod
i have just been whatsapped by a comedian being a miserable slightly selfish fucker I don't know if you I don't know if this
happens to you but there's
only a few guys like this and I know
they're not like bad guys
but people sort of
are having a bad little moment so they
decide to like
include you in it so someone
one of our comedian mates has
just read on some I
bet not reputable fucking news agency that oh
yeah the lockdown could be till christmas and we might not be working till christmas so he has read
that and then gone well what'd you make of this though apparently the news says it's not gonna
we're not gonna be working till christmas now we you and me discuss this all the time about when
the shutdown's gonna be released for everyone,
when we're going to be allowed to go back to work.
However, if someone's not in the fucking mood for that,
I'd consider that a pretty selfish, self-concerned fucking WhatsApp.
What if I'm having a fucking nightmare?
I could be having a nightmare.
I'm actually having a fucking belter because
i've had two cronenberg tops and i've painted a fucking fence but that's not the point is it i'm
just about to record i'm saying all this shit up i'm excited to talk to you we we literally like a
menstrual woman that's what you're doing what no it doesn't matter that i'm in a good mood okay
the thing is i could have been in a bad mood and that hasn't ruined my day but that had the potential
to ruin my day.
It's not put me in a great... I just texted
him back, mate, and the thing is, I know
this is slightly eggy, I just texted
him back going, mate, these Whatsapps are like little emotional
Molotov cocktails.
You're just fucking wazzing them out there.
And he was like, oh, sorry
man, I just read it. And I was like, yeah, but
I tell you what, why don't you message me and go, you're alright mate, what are you up to? And if I'm like, do you know what, I'm having a fucking... You know, like, oh, sorry, man, I just read it, and I was like, yeah, but I tell you what, why don't you message me and go, you all right, mate?
What are you up to?
And if I'm like, do you know what?
I'm having a fucking, you know, like, you've had bad days, haven't you?
We've had bad days where you've not slept, your anxiety goes up.
I think what you should do in these situations,
and this goes for everyone, if you're having one of them days
and you get a message, it can send you under that little bit further.
So if you're reading something and you're like, fuck, this is bad news,
before you just fucking throw it out there to a WhatsApp group,
maybe go, how you doing, mate? Are you okay?
You having a good day or a bad day?
If someone's like, yeah, I'm nearly suicidal today,
well, let me just tip you over the fucking edge.
I'm having a bad day today, you know.
Like, not like anxiety or anything,
but just
I feel like everything's a bit fucking
pointless. Do you know, have you had that day yet?
I woke up at quarter
past two. I text you a
heart, because we were scheduled to record
at four o'clock, and at quarter past
two I woke up, and I was like, I'm
not ready for the pod in an hour and a half.
I just don't want to do that. So, I woke up, and Jay was like, oh, not ready for the pod in an hour and a half. I just don't want to do that.
So I woke up and Jay was like, oh, you've been all lazy.
I've been asleep until two o'clock.
And I was like, you know, I might go back to sleep.
Like, what?
What am I getting up for?
I get up, I do the podcast and then I go and sit on the couch and play FIFA
and wait until a socially acceptable time to go to bed.
I'm not joking.
What the fuck could we do without this
podcast oh man and i know we've done loads of versions like we appreciate you so much and
thanks for supporting us and thanks for the page i'm not i'm not talking about any of this
i'm just talking about what the fuck else have we got like i i love my family If it wasn't for this today, I'd still be in bed now.
Like, not even a question.
It's not even... It might be.
I would be in bed.
Maybe not asleep,
but I would be in bed
watching something on the telly
or whatever,
scrolling on my phone.
I would not have left.
I'd still be completely butt naked.
And this is exactly why
I think I've done this today.
I'm like, I've done two jobs around the house.
You deserve it, Dan, because you're driving fucking nowhere
and you're dealing with fucking selfish WhatsApps.
Have a beer.
You deserve it.
If I hadn't been for this podcast today,
I would now be six Cronenbergs in
and being like fucking aggressive to the fence.
Like, no, you're a fucking to the fence like no you fucking dickhead
you're a fucking dickhead fence
like oh god and obviously people with
parents like you have to you've just got to be there for your
kids
I'm so self aware
about this sort of stuff now
that I know I'm being a whining little
twat like if I was
my friend I'd be like oh shut up
yeah you've got to get up you've got to
do some stuff tidy it i was go for a walk do whatever the fuck you need to do but i'm not
listening to my own advice today i'm just like but there's no point is there there's just nothing to
do there's just nothing and even though i'm thinking that there's another bit of my brain
it's like i've got schizophrenia there's a bit i'm having an argument with myself in my head
i have been it's half two that's good that that self having an argument with myself in my head i have to that's good that that
self-awareness that argument in your head is the thing that stops you being a full-blown sociopath
like you need that argument in your head like fuck today i'm just gonna stay what's the fucking
point no adam come on mate you've got a responsibility to your listeners and yourself
and also dan you know you're doing this to get no, but I'm just full. What's the fucking point?
Like you need,
if you don't have that back and forth,
you just stay in bed and miss the pod.
Like,
it's like people who have that instinct to murder,
like,
Oh,
I might murder someone.
Then the rest of that is like,
yeah,
but don't though.
Yeah,
no,
but I might like,
you need,
you know,
when you hear voices in your head,
like you need at least two just to bounce off the fucking scary voice.
I,
yeah, I taught, I feel for voice. Do you know what else?
Yeah, I feel for you.
Do you know what's doing me fucking head in, right?
So, the house has got a bit messy.
Like, it's not dirty, but it's just a bit messy.
Dirty in a Scouse accent sounded good.
You're dirty.
Like, there's still a load of empty beer bottles in the office there that I can see right now from last week.
Downstairs in the living room, there's shop and weave balls
and just not put away,
like not fridge stuff
or freezer stuff,
but there's like
multi-packs of crisp
in the living room
because I just couldn't be arsed
putting them away.
There's like
crates of beer,
crates of Pepsi,
Robinsons.
There's just a load of shit
in the living room
that shouldn't be there.
It sounds like you've got
licensed premises
underneath your flat. That's literally
every landlord like,
yeah, tell me about it, mate. Crates and
multi-pack of crisps.
It looks like a fucking pub cellar. That's what it looks like.
Yeah. And then I'm still
washing my clothes and that, but when I take
my clothes out to wash, they're just going in a big pile
in the living room. There's just a big pile of clean
washing. There's
two washing baskets.
Yesterday's pizza that I had is
still on the table in the box.
It's just a bit messy now.
We've got a bit of a fucking problem
in that. The house obviously
needs to tidy. It'll probably take a few hours to tidy it.
Good effort on a few hours
and it'll be sorted. Can't be arsed doing
that, as I've said, not in the mood.
There's a fucking leak, mate. There's a
leak and it's leaking from
the bath into the kitchen
to the point where I was making
curry before I started making a curry.
Jade was getting a shower and I've had
to throw the curry away because her fucking
bath water was dribbling through
the fucking ceiling into the curry.
And
we need the landlord to come out.
The landlord can't come in at the minute
because it looks like we're running a fucking sweatshop brothel
pizza place.
How do you even do that?
I can't invite the landlord out until we tidy up.
And I can't tidy up because I've got fucking
lazy bastard syndrome for the day.
So we're just going to have to have a leak from the bathroom
to the kitchen for a month. Oh, oh christ it's when the taps start working you get so lazy that you're
drinking the drip from the bath water like i need to do something are landlords allowed to come
around and fix your shit yet i mean is that is that allowed i don't know i mean it's not
is that not essential yeah but i, what would you have to do?
Do you have to just stand at one side of the fucking room
while they're at the other, social distancing while they fix it?
Yeah, it's probably like going to Tesco, isn't it?
Just stay two metres apart.
Right, yeah.
I could see why, even if you could be arsed, you wouldn't do it.
It's not my fucking house.
I don't mind bathwater curry, actually.
It tells fucking Rogan Josh with a little bit of shower gel.
I feel weirdly relaxed.
Ray dogs, Josh.
Oh, God.
You seem good, though.
You know, considering I've done, like, we've said this before.
We're spending such intense time together now,
like a death row inmate and the lawyer just before the final appeal.
This is how much fucking FaceTime we've got.
I'm starting to get your,
you're in a good mood.
I can tell you're not doing like angry eyebrows.
Yeah,
I,
I'm in a good mood because I've recognized how much of a whining bitch I'm being and I'm laughing at myself for it.
Do you know what I mean?
It's like,
it's like I've,
I've sort of overcome it by talking about it.
I'm seeing how fucking ridiculous it sounds.
But it makes me go, oh yeah.
After the pod, I'm probably going to go
I was on my bike now.
I feel all right.
I'm going to go do some exercise.
I'm not going to drunk ride.
I told that that what's the point vibe
is a fucking dangerous thing.
I've even got a bit bored of wanking.
That's,
I think that's when you know the fucking pandemic's really taking effect.
I just can't.
What's the point?
It's just every,
you know,
sometimes it's a treat.
You're like,
Oh,
she doesn't want to sleep next to me tonight.
I'll go in the spare room.
I'm back in my bedroom.
She doesn't hear it.
It's consistent.
It's too consistent.
I'm like,
Oh, I just don't know. That's bad. It's too consistent. I'm like, oh.
I just don't know. That's a bad sign, isn't it?
I've been wanking three times a day.
What? Just after every
meal. No wonder you're tired.
Not a
poke-y bum. I have my breakfast
wank. I have my post-podcast
lunch wank.
And I have my dinner
wank, which is actually about 11 o'clock at the minute
because I'm eating late.
The dinner wank.
Not to be confused with the dinner party.
Yesterday I ordered a pizza
and they gave me a napkin
with the pizza that came in the little bag
with the chips and nuts.
So that was good
because that meant I didn't have to use any of the
toilet roll that was holding
oh where did you get it from
which? the pizza and the chips
and a place called
deep pan express just one of those shitty
oh yes mate
with guys that work there where you
think they're Turkish but they could be
Syrian but you're not sure
generic middle eastern yeah welcome to ethnically ambiguous pizza think they're Turkish but they could be Syrian but you're not sure generic Middle Eastern
yeah welcome to ethnically
ambiguous pizza
there's one that can't talk English that one
that's super friendly and there's one that looks
like he fucking hates you
every one of them
there's one young lad who cannot speak the
language even if he tries there's one who's like
the character and then there's one who's like are you
oh god what are you doing to my food you seem like you despise me i would love access to one of
those fuckers you've not got one i have but it's it's in the student bit of chester which is about
three or four miles about three miles from from these takeaways now if i think maybe the pandemic's changed it but usually if
you ring up and you go look this is where i am in most cities where there's loads of takeaways
they'll be like shit we need the business brilliant let's do it i think in chester they're
like oh god it's to them it's just so much further they're like oh god you know where that is there's
like seven minutes in the car it's's fine. No, it's exactly.
But they're like, oh, we cannot drive all the way there.
I might as well go back to fucking Afghanistan.
You're like, we're literally just on the edge.
We're near, you know, we're just.
Oh, what am I supposed to do?
Put it in a car and drive 2.8 miles?
Yeah, honestly.
Yeah.
One guy, this is how bad it was,
he was like, well, we're going to have to charge you
a minimum 15 pounds.
So I didn't want 15 quid of food,
so I had to have five cans of Diet Coke
at like a pound of fucking pop.
That's like that.
You make it up with drinks, don't you?
Top it up with fucking drinks.
Ugh.
There was a place,
this was about 10 years ago now,
but I was hungover
and I woke up
like very, very late in the afternoon
and to the point where these places were already
open and I rang up and I was like,
can I have the £5 pizza deal, please?
Because I'd walked in this place before. It's not
far from me, Dad's, but I couldn't
be arsed with the walk that day.
Can I have the £5 pizza deal? So you used to get get for a fiver you get a pizza with any three toppings 10 inch a portion of
chips and a can of coke for a fiver oh i don't even care what type of oil or fuck like when
you're slight even if you've got a little bit of alcohol in you that is a good deal isn't it
and he went to me,
you can, my friend, but are you coming to
collect? And I went, no, no, no, no. Really sorry.
I need delivery. And he's like, oh, for
delivery, a minimum £15.
And I went, I'll have 10 Lucas Aids.
I got a £5 pizza deal
with a can of Coke and 10
orange Lucas Aids.
And eight of them were still in the
multi-pack wrapper.
Not to be sold
individually.
I'm fucking not.
I'm not.
I'm selling...
You know...
Have I told you
about the time
I blackmailed
the fella who works
in the corner shop?
I don't know how we got here,
but I'm so happy we've arrived.
Go.
It's because you said the multi-pack thing.
So I was like 16 or something,
maybe a bit younger,
maybe 15.
And me and my mates were going to have a nice in,
play FIFA and get like,
just get a bit pissed on,
like get a few beers.
And we went to the corner shop and was like took a load
like a couple of crates to the counter
and he goes do you have any ID and we go
no we're not old enough mate
but just serve us doesn't matter does it
and he goes I'm afraid
my friend we can't serve you you're clearly too young
you've just admitted it no no no
we went mate listen we will grass you
up to trading standards for selling
multi-pack lucas aids
individually unless you serve us this beer and he fucking sold us it you fucking evil little
shit what what 15 year old has even got the attention to detail to notice that fucking
bullshit we come up with it as a plan.
Like we said, we'll go round, we'll get it,
and if he says no, we'll say we'll grasp him up to trading standards.
Fucking hell.
Mate, if you're that shop owner,
I cannot believe
that you didn't call
the 15-year-old's bluff.
Well,
go on then. you'll find the
fucking email for trading standards like
any like any three 15 year olds
who basically just want to play FIFA again
be like right we're going to use
this sobriety
dear sir
Imran's news
in Dovecote are selling
answers in West Arby
why would you risk your business
when you can just give me me beer?
It's either you're going to give me it
or I'm going to go and stand outside
and get someone to go in for me.
So...
Oh, right.
Did you ever do that?
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
Most people do it for you as well.
You didn't have to wait very long around here.
People are sound.
I clocked the specky brew in the our local co-op after we
talked about it ages ago in on the podcast it's one of them things where you're like oh i didn't
even think it existed but it was just it's just there in the pop my co-op and honestly if this
drinking continues by the time we get to saturday's lockdown lockin, if my beer52.com order's not come, and it probably won't because I've not ordered it yet,
I might just get a Specky brew for the fucking sake of it.
They're in a four-pack.
You're like, guys, just one at a time.
I can smell it, and I don't like it.
Are we going to have a beer after all this malarkey? Are we going to actually... Are we going to have a beer after all this malarkey?
Are we going to actually...
Are we going to do...
Are we going to have a beer
at the thank you show?
Because honestly...
We're doing an after party.
Now, here...
Yeah, I know.
Yeah, we definitely are.
Are we doing it at Hot Water?
We are doing it at Hot Water,
aren't we?
Probably.
In my head,
but I...
We'll see.
Like, I think we're going to need
a bigger venue,
but we'll see. Are we going to have to need a bigger venue, but we'll see.
Are we going to have to do two?
Are we going to have to do an early show and a late show?
It might have to be like two days back to back.
Yeah.
Because the shows are going to be big.
It's not going to be an hour-long show like a tour show where you can do two.
There's 320-odd patrons right now,
and all the £3 get a ticket what what did we say is it the five
pounds and the ten pounds they get two tickets don't they yeah and there's not like most people
are either five or ten yeah like so that's got to come that i think that offer i think april might
be have to be the end of the free so if if you're thinking, fuck, I want a free ticket,
that can't go on forever.
So I think this might be the last week of the,
if you sign up for Patreon, you know.
I think if you want to do it,
now might be the time to fucking do it.
Because we're going to have to call it soon because there isn't a venue that is going to let us do
a 600-person show where we're like guys i
know we can't there's no ticket sales they're gonna be like were you fucking more what how
does podcast work fucking idiot who what it's free you know podcasts are mainly free i think
yeah i think if we say the end of april if you're a patreon by the by the end of April, on the midnight on the last day of April, then you get your free ticket to the thank you show.
And then after that, I think...
We're changing it up, aren't we?
We're changing it up.
We're working on the structure,
a restructure of the patrons
so that the patron members finally get some
really good benefits for being...
Exclusive content.
Exclusive content and also a bit of discount on like
long-term tickets and also we're going to look at launching a bit of merch which
so many people keep tweeting and emailing us about saying when's the merch coming
um we're looking to get that out uh early may and the patrons will get a good bit of dizzy
on that uh as a thank you but here's the thing we're going to get released from the shutdown
and i think venues are going to be deemed as non-essential so there is going to be a wee
while before this a thank you show can happen and we're gigging again but we're working on the
podcast so there's going to be this dangerous time for me and booze where we're released back into the world
and we can go and live our life.
I've got friends I want to see.
I've got a life I want to live.
And I'm not going to have the restrictions of like five gigs a week.
I'm coming to fucking Liverpool, mate.
I'm coming to Liverpool.
I want to do a fact-finding tour of West Derby, Dovecote, Noggy Dogs.
I want to meet some Noggy Dogs. I just just want to go anywhere you can go there on your own not a screen did um did you see
last night what freddie quinn did who the fuck is that press the button press the button i've
retired the button have you really so i wanted to let this quietly die because we hammered Freddie
when we were getting like 1,500 downloads an episode.
We hammered him, and it was funny.
And then we got to like 3,500, 4,000 downloads an episode,
and we completely reignited it, and it was happening on Twitter all the time.
And then me and Freddie talked,
and he basically ignored two messages from me.
I'm like, he's getting eggy.
And like all comedians, eventually a joke,
it's sort of one of those things where I'm not that bothered.
It was funny for a while.
I don't want to continue.
If it's pissing him off,
he now has fucking ruined that, hasn't he?
I have even tried to do it behind your back because i was like i'm gonna try and not have this button i'm gonna see
if adam just gets bored as well because comedians will get bored of a joke we'll want to move on
and freddy has lit the fucking touch paper hasn't he he messaged me and said oh it's starting to
just do me a bit to be honest and i was like you do realize that'saged me and said, Oh, it's starting to just do me. I didn't a bit to be honest with you. And I was like,
you do realize that to me,
that's the only time it's funny is when it annoys you.
Yeah.
And he was like,
yeah,
but it's just a bit fucking annoying.
I was like,
Oh,
shut up.
And he was like,
you need to tell people to stop.
And I was like,
I'm fucking not.
You've done so many practical jokes on me down the years.
You rat.
Do you remember when,
um,
you won best actor to Northwest comedy awards and I was nominated and Freddie told me I'd won. Cause I Best Act at the Northwest Comedy Awards
and I was nominated and Freddie told me I'd won
because I wasn't at the ceremony?
Yeah.
And he was like, oh, that was the funny one.
I was like, well, let's just pay back for that.
So shut up.
But last night, Freddie Quinn put on Twitter saying,
if anyone in the next 24 hours sends me that Conor McGregor gif
of who the fuck is that guy?
I'll essentially roast you.
I'll give you a personal insult of you or your family.
There's been some fucking brutal ones.
And I just think we've given Freddie a lot of shit over this podcast.
So after this episode comes out,
I think maybe tomorrow morning when it's out and a lot of people have listened to it,
I'm going to retweet all of Freddie's roasts. So if you go to
have a weird pod, you can go and look at the
things Freddie's been saying to people and
give him a follow because he's a little
whining little fuck. Give him a follow.
The thing is, I
like it was funny.
I don't want to genuinely
fuck up. And also with a shutdown,
you've got to be careful with
where people's heads are at
that was partly my thinking but when he said like when he said to you you need to tell him to stop
you're like you're fucking mental you don't have you listened to the content we're putting out
do you think we control the people that listen to have a word these fucking that mate we're all the
same type of dickhead and you know what freddie doesn't like mate we're all the same type of dickhead and you know
what freddie doesn't like about is he's the same type of dickhead that listens to this you me freddie
and everyone that listens you have to be a certain type of dickhead to a say these things or b find
them funny and freddie is one of these people he should then know that if we turn around and go, guys, could you not say that to Freddie?
Everyone would be like, what the fuck is these guys?
It was like, mate, I would love to see who voted for me in Best Compare
when I sincerely asked, please no one vote for me.
Because I'd suggest I did really well in that fucking vote.
And a lot of those votes would have been people taking the piss.
You can't tell people who listen to this pod, don do something but he is totally reignited i am a bit i'm not gonna keep it going i'm bored
of it but those fucking roasts are amazing the girl who who the fuck is that guy at him and then
he went through her twitter found a picture and said whoa you look like what would happen if Groupon did abortions
the most brutal one
that I did not expect
because obviously we don't know all of our listeners
we get the tweets from them but we don't know their personalities
and we assume they find a lot funny
but with a lot of people
there's a line with some people
some guy tweets at them, who the fuck is that guy
and Freddie screenshots in his profile picture,
which is him and his daughter,
and drew a dick going from his crotch
to his daughter's mouth.
And when I seen that,
I was like,
fuck me.
This guy is not going to like that.
You're making him fuck his own daughter's mouth.
And the guy replied and said,
brutal, love it,
or something like that.
You've got a new fan.
He's followed Freddie. His name's Luke Wood, I think and said, brutal, love it, or something like that. You've got a new fan. He's followed Freddie.
His name's Luke Wood, I think.
Oh, brutal.
So, to be fair to Freddie,
he's gone, he's almost like gone through
the full circle of this, hasn't he?
He's got, oh yeah, it's just a joke.
Oh yeah, it's a bit annoying.
No, no, it is fucking annoying now.
Right, well, you told him to stop.
And then he's gone full circle
to making it really funny again.
So, Luke, who, mate make any also anyone who asked for it and then got pissy about the roast can fuck off but freddie's done a fucking bro the guy who messaged him and he said your face is so generic
and round you look like a computer generated football manager on a computer game and I looked at the picture of him and I was like
that is one of the best fucking roasts
I actually think weirdly
Freddie has been floundering for
years trying to work out what he is as a comedian
topical, edgy
promoter
I think he's actually specifically
found it, have a word Twitter
roast guy, he's fucking exceptional.
Go and follow him.
We will retweet tomorrow.
Once this episode hits 1,000 downloads,
which is normally about eight, nine hours after it goes out,
then I'll retweet all of Freddie's things
once a lot of you have heard what's been going on.
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Nice one, lads.
I don't know about you,
but I'm feeling triggered.
It must be Have A Word
with Adam and Dave.
Hey, baby, what's happening?
Let's do some would you rathers.
Yes.
Yes, fam.
I know we can't do the would you rathers all the time
because they end up getting boring,
but they are my favourite bit of the middle.
In this middle section when we do would you rathers,
they're my favourite ones.
Yeah, they are really good.
But I also think you can overdo them a little bit.
People love sending them in as well.
I just don't want them to get sort of tired.
Can I just say this before we crack on?
We need some more songs.
We're running low on songs.
We've got a few left, but we are running low.
So if you're in a band or you know someone who is,
get them to send us an MP3 or a WAV file of their tune
along with any social media they want us to plug.
Send that to haveawirdpod at gmail.com.
We need some more tunes, please.
Here's one that I came up with.
Would you rather never be able to eat the chippy again
or never eat dominoes?
Oh, dominoes?
Oh, really? Chippy beats all?
Oh, yeah.
Oh.
Salt and pepper chicken from a chippy.
You what?
What did you get from the chippy?
Salt and pepper chicken.
Oh, salt and pepper.
Oh, yeah, because you've got a Chinese scale still.
Chippy, aren't you? Yeah, maybe and pepper. Oh yeah. Cause you've got a Chinese scale and was still chippy.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Maybe.
Well, is there anything I could have offered up there?
Cause I, I didn't know.
Chippy beats all.
Chippy beats all.
The closest one would be McDonald's.
Really?
Chinese.
McDonald's.
Yeah.
KFC and Indian.
Joint third.
Oh yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Then then Domino's then shitty pizza places
Burger King is below that
I think Burger King is the worst
Burger King is fucking
rank mate
Burger King is
when there's no other option
Burger King is when you're at a service
station and you're fucking gutted that mcdonald's or kfc didn't turn up you're like oh come on
junction 22 you twat yeah that's how bad burger king is sometimes i'd rather go to marks and
spencer's food all and get a fucking sandwich you sometimes, I don't even get a sandwich I get like tapas, I get like some
chorizo, I get some
mozzarella sticks
some pork scratching bits and I just get
like, they have a little three for seven pound
offering Marks and Spencer's food hall
and I get that
he's changed hasn't he guys, you're hearing it
maybe get some olives
all that fucking oil money that he's banking on.
Oh, yeah, lad.
I get in the fucking Marks and Spencer's feud on me.
Not even just for me fucking Percy fucking pigs.
Eating mess.
Burger King as well.
They know their place.
And that's why it's so expensive in Burger King.
Burger King is the most expensive out of all those takeaways I've just described.
And it's because of simple supply and demand.
You only buy Burger King when there's no other option.
And because there's no other option,
they can charge you fucking 11 quid for a large meal.
What?
What, in the service stations?
And in general Burger King restaurants.
They're the most expensive.
I fucking despise them.
Mate, I hope Five Guys wipes them off the face of the fucking earth.
Five Guys is well better than Burger King.
Oh, you're wrong.
Here's the thing with Five Guys.
Five Guys is better.
It's better than Mackey's as well, and it's better than Burger King.
But it's not as good as the price.
It's good.
But if they were like,
it's like nine quid for a burger or something, isn't it?
It's not proper fast food, is it though?
It's boutique.
It's basically,
it's a ZZ's or a Pizza Express serenading,
or what do I mean?
It's not serenading.
Masquerading.
That was it. Serenading. Masquerading.
That was serenading.
Do you want some meat, Dan?
Guys, have a burger on us.
Hey, Dan, you look so tubby.
Do you want to get a little bit more tubby?
It's masquerading as basically fast food, but it is actually a 30 quid meal for two, isn't it?
Yeah, it's...
It's not good enough
to charge that price. If it was
six quid for a burger and five guys,
I'm all in. I'd go there pretty much
all the time, because it would trump.
And I don't mean with the chips. I mean, you could charge
six quid just for a burger in there,
but it's about nine, and it's just
too much. It's too much.
I really want a five guys though.
Five guys has reopened
and they've built on Deliveroo.
It's like chain to reopen.
Nice. I'm still arguing with
Turkish guys about fucking discount pizza.
We're not coming that far. Too far.
Can't drive there.
I told you about that
vegan chippy,
which, by the way,
I'd like to give them
another shout out.
If you do want any
takeaway foods
and you're in the
South Liverpool area,
Wu-Tang Scran
on Lark Lane.
Completely vegan
Chinese takeaway.
It's delicious.
I'm not vegan.
I'm a big meat lover,
but I love it in there.
Jade's obsessed with it,
obviously,
because she's a sort of
flexitarian. She's a with it, obviously, because she's a sort of flexitarian.
She's a vegan when she can be asked.
They don't deliver to here, right?
And on Deliveroo, and they don't do,
they're not answering the phone at the minute
because they're getting that many orders.
So what Jade did the other day,
she ordered a Deliveroo from that chippy
to next door to that chippy
and drove and waited outside
that chippy so a Deliveroo
guy walked into Wootanskran
brought our food out and was like
hang on the address for this is right next
door and then Jade was like that's for me
I live in West Derby just give us
the food so she got a
Wootanskran delivered to Wu-Tang Scrant
and just went and picked it up.
Marry that woman.
She's a fucking genius.
She's a genius.
That's the kind of shit that genuinely makes me think,
like, that's the kind of woman you want to marry.
Fucking nominal.
She's also a fucking mouth meat.
So, you know, swings around.
She's a mouth, yeah, but she's fucking,
she's with you, isn't she?
She's not going to be a wallflower.
Right.
Kieran and Dudley.
Two tiny towels, good lad.
Here's one that suddenly popped into my head. Now, we can, there's a few of these. Two tiny towels, good lad. Here's one that suddenly popped into my head.
Now, there's a few of these.
Two tiny towels?
It was a story from about 20 pods ago that was fucking funny.
Oh, I forgot.
Yeah, I've not.
It's funny.
People are listening.
Some people will be like, yeah,
that two tiny towels was one of the best hangover stories.
Do you not remember the service station guy
who was so hungover at the service station?
Yeah.
And he used his socks as two
tiny towels. Shout out to Kieran
and Dudley. He sent some good stuff through.
Listen,
Adam, if you want to
disregard these, that's fine.
We've got some would-you-rathers to get
through. We've already
just taken eight minutes on the first bullshit
one. Would you rather
listen to Katy Perry's music nonstop for a whole year,
on loop, playing even whilst you're asleep,
but you then get to bang Katy Perry,
or would you rather never listen to her music again
and know that you could have had sex with her,
but you choose not to?
I don't want to listen to her music.
See, I think Katy Perry's a weird choice, really,
because although I think she's got something about her,
I wouldn't offer her up as, like,
the hottest pop star.
Well, I actually think she's quite fit.
Oh, yeah, she's fit.
Yeah, yeah yeah yeah
she's beautiful
actually that would be the word
because
she's got a very radiant look
and lovely eyes
and nice skin
did you just turn into
your Auntie Carol
that's how you have to wear
as a mask
she's
she's fit
but
there's no way
that that is going to
end up being worth it.
California girls were undeniable.
I already wanted to stop.
I kissed a girl and I liked it.
Can you imagine?
Imagine being about four months into that, right?
And you're like, do you know what?
This is doing me head in, but just another eight months
and I get to bang Katy Perry.
And then another three months go by, seven months,
I've got five more months to go.
The amount, the level to which that shag would have to be
earth shatteringly amazing is just impossible.
It's not possible for this to live up
that's so funny because where in the year of her music do you shout because if you if you just bang
katie perry you're like whoa i mean is that a free hit jade doesn't know about it laura doesn't know
about it for me it almost happens in this sort of other world where it's not cheating it's because
it's like almost metaphysical like kind
of it just occurs but there's no and then you back and but then no one else can hear it you
can just hear katie perry constantly you you'd enjoy that'd be fun wouldn't it be fun i always
think with these like who would you shag if you could shag anyone are they willing because wouldn't
katie perry be like oh my god who are you oh like so she's gonna be like
oh my god no no no no they have to be willing yeah because otherwise i mean otherwise it's rape
and sorry to be so blunt but you can rape katie perry anytime you like okay you don't need to
listen to her music for a year to then go and commit that crime.
No context to have a word.
Thank you.
Can I just... I just mean,
when people do,
which celebrity would you fuck?
Like, that game is like,
it's predicated on them being like,
oh my God, I'm so into it, Adam.
I think Blake Lively's so hot.
Blake Lively's a married woman
with kids like oh you're such a fucking gimp you know no but you can ruin the celebrity shag and
she's married to ryan reynolds she's married to ryan fucking reynolds how bad for your confidence
would that be what's about the children shut up no not talking about what's
my children as part of this magic is she up for it or is she just blatantly going i don't where's
ryan where's my husband ryan she's up for it of course she's up for it otherwise it's it's a horror
film isn't it jesus what i'm saying Right so So How is that not taken
As a given
In your head
Just working it through
Doesn't matter
What does it matter
Anyway
Right
So Pez dogs
Old Katie Pez dispenser
Yeah
And then
A whole year That would be a terrible year
i think you've got it you've got to do it that way because if you do it the other way if you
listen to a year of katie perry like i kissed the girl and then granddad dies and you're at the
funeral yeah taste of her by the end of the year when you actually get to banging, she's like, oh my God, Dan, I've been waiting for you.
I would be flaccid, furious, mental, and I'd kill her.
I'd kill her with a cherry chapstick.
So the option is you bang Katy Perry,
but then for a year you listen to her music.
Yeah, I think it has to be.
Otherwise, you just don't want to be able to get your dick hard
say it would depend
on like I'd like to think
I'd still be like no I can't do that
do you ever feel like
you've just gotta deny
me
me
me
me
me
me
me
me
me
me
me
me
me
me
me
me
me
me
me
me
me
me
me
me
me
me
me
me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me All this is doing
is make me want to fuck you less.
I was all happy.
I'm not gonna lie
because Adam, you're a fan.
Yeah.
What are you doing?
What did you just do?
I brushed my beard.
What the fuck did you just do on Zoom?
I was brushing my beard.
Never.
And I mean this.
No, put that fucking thing away.
You fucking nonce.
Oh, that is the...
That's one of the...
I have seen your fucking no man's land.
I've seen your slightly plump patio
that you freshly shaved.
And watching you using a fucking no tangle dog hairbrush
on your own fucking beard this is not dog hairbrush this is jade's hairbrush
using oh it's a tangle thing it's a tangle brush
it's what you use on kids i use that on i've got one of those for fucking
my dreams I've got one of those for fucking for what?
my dreams the fuck
have you got one of them for?
do you know sometimes
on this podcast
you can get really nasty
I'd rather see your
fucking dick and bowels
this is a weird one
from Mark Hollenbach.
Would you rather have someone secretly give you LSD
on a random day and time once every six months
or have everyone in the world
all take LSD at the same time once every five years?
What have you asked here, Mark?
Would you rather have someone secretly give you lsd so you get
spiked with lsd randomly once every six months and you just have to deal with that on your own
or the whole world takes lsd at the same time once every five years i mean on the once every
five years i get are we included in that so yeah i take it as well. So we're all on LSD.
I really think you'd have to be a pretty fucking straight-edged bellend to be like, no, that's too dangerous.
Who would fly the aeroplanes?
I think fucking just once every five years.
Can we just check?
Has everyone consented to taking this LSD?
Are they up for it?
No, no, no.
It's an international spike.
Oh, right.
So it's no consent, right?
Okay.
I was just trying to ruin the game
like you did with the fucking last one.
Oh, dear.
Do you know,
if you offered the whole world
that was in lockdown right now,
one day of everyone being on LSD,
I think everyone would be like
yeah fuck it it's just going to make it more interesting
it's the same reason I had a Cronenberg
about an hour and a half ago
I think yeah I think I'd give everyone in the world the LSD
I don't want to go for it on my own
yeah you don't look at Spike once
how does Mark's head even work
he's on LSD
now
this is from Megan Fairclough,
and I can tell you right now,
I want a drink with Megan Fairclough,
or once every six months, do LSD with her.
Hi, Adam and Dave.
I put a would you rather in subject
because I didn't know what else to think of,
but it's not a would you rather,
more of a hypothetical question,
but it's defo worth reading.
Fair enough. I can give you 10 million pounds right now, but for the rest of your life,
there's an invincible super snail that can kill you if it touches you. The snail has the ability
to go anywhere in the world, get on planes, cars, ETC, but it still just moves the pace of a snail.
Would you take the money or would you just keep life,
murderous snail free, minus the 10 million?
It is a would you rather.
She's just written it like a fucking lunatic,
but I love her for it.
So she gives you, Megan Fairclough gives you 10 million pounds
because that's the game, in cash.
But you know that somewhere in the world,
there is this evil, murderous super snail
that as soon as it touches you, you're dead.
And she just put it in the bank.
I don't want to have the cash lying around.
I'd have to take that to bank.
That's going to be it.
Stop being stupid.
You're being a silly person.
Did you just cancel the podcast? You're being a silly person. Did you just cancel the podcast?
You're being silly.
You're being a silly person.
Just fucking comb your beard
and get your head in the game.
Stop being silly on this podcast.
Stop being silly and answer the question.
There is a murderous super snail.
I reckon it's the same as the LSD.
I'd take the 10 million quid.
I'd be like, ah, fuck it.
If you like being a...
If you like being a colada.
I'd be fucking drunk when the super snail
crawled up my balls.
If you like being a colada.
I'd be dead.
I don't give a shit.
I'd go for it.
10 million, fuck it.
It's a snail, isn't it?
Yeah.
I'd go for it.
I'd just make sure that...
Because you can keep an eye out for a snail most of the time.
The only time you're going to be caught off guard
is when you're asleep,
so you just have to make sure your room's got its own ventilation system,
but then otherwise it's completely snail-proof.
Or just live in Salt Lake City.
What?
What? What?
I just did a really bad dad joke.
I'm really sorry.
I apologise to everyone.
What was the joke?
Well, slugs and snails don't like salt.
And I just, that's where my head went.
Next question.
You should turn your chair around
and face that corner for 10 minutes.
That was dreadful.
I'm still laughing at myself though.
Sam. Sam King in London.
Would you rather
have racist Tourette's
or
a disorder that makes you slide tackle
grannies every time you pass them in the street.
Sam, you get it.
You get it, mate.
You get it.
That's one of those ones where you're like,
oh, the first one's funny
and the second one's even funnier.
Fucking tremendous.
I am I am slide tackling
grannies what
yeah do you know
you know if he just said people
that would be one thing if you
slide tackle you know when people got
you know old people if they take a fall
that can be the end for them
you're killing you kill it and
i've seen you if you get a fucking head of steam up i'm not saying you're slow but i'm saying i
don't think you're good at changing directions if you really put a fucking slide on that's mildred
in trouble that's two hips gone yeah and i'm straight red cards as well. I'm going for this, Shane. Do you know that's prison?
It isn't.
What are you talking about?
Because I'll slide tackle it and then I'll get off. I'm never getting caught.
Oh, right, right, right.
This is how much of a careerist comedians are.
You know what? Prison is still better than walking around shouting the N-word in black neighborhoods and getting killed.
Have you listened to most of this podcast? I mean, we're borderline racist Tourette's in places anyway.
It's going quite well.
You can't have racist Tourette's. That's a nightmare, that.
Black neighborhoods. When are you walking around black neighborhoods?
That's a nightmare, that.
Black neighbourhoods.
When you walk around black neighbourhoods.
Hot water Compton.
Have you heard about hot water?
They've got another venue.
Where is it?
Seal Street?
Or Harman Street?
No, it's Compton Avenue, south side LA.
What's happening, motherfucker?
Paul Smith.
Y'all ain't lads.
What do you do for a job? Shut the fuck up you ginger motherfucker. Crack
ass motherfucker. I like quality
yeah. I don't think this
video is going to get many views.
But yeah I'm
slide tackling grannies for my own safety.
That was a really silly one.
What would you do?
Racist Tourette's.
Really?
Yeah, man. There's not enough right-wing comedians.
And I think there's basically me and Andrew.
There's actually about 15 right-wing comedians
and every single one of them markets themselves
as Britain's only right-wing comedian.
The worst thing they can do is get booked on the same bill
because then it stops being a gig and becomes an EDL meeting.
You know, you can't book Andrew Lawrence and...
Geoff Norcott on the same bill
because all of a sudden it's not ironic.
God, two very good comedians, by the way,
who I don't want to have an argument with.
Good guy.
Right, that's enough.
I can't curate anymore.
I've had three beers.
Let's have a word from Lightwork Studios,
our new sponsor.
Hang on.
Have you done the read for it?
I'll do it straight after the episode.
Cool. Do you love podcasts have you always wanted to do your own but you don't know how
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Send in your questions and suggestions
to haveawadpod
at gmail.com. Let's crack
on with this nonsense.
Cool.
It's time for Have A Word
with Adam and Dan. Adam adam you've got right i don't mind you singing but that was
fucking horrible that was feral that was the that was the like you're gonna sing sing it it's time
to have a word with adam and dan there's all the problems that you're here with the friends
i don't mind that but what the fuck was that?
That sounded like Blake Lively in one of my fantasies.
I'm doing early My Chemical Romance version now.
All right, cool, cool, cool, cool.
Cool. Okay. Can we do a different band each day? Cool
Can we do a different band each day?
Yeah
Right, cool
It's your job to nominate them
And I'll just do it on the fly
Right
Give me another one now
Do another one now
Morrissey
It's time for Hoverworld now? Do another one now. Uh, uh, Morrissey.
It's time for
Hoverworld.
It's alright.
Yeah.
Hoverworld.
I've never done
so many problems.
I've never done
This is getting weird.
Alright.
This is getting weird.
Getting.
Alright. Middle-class Tory and Sheikh Mansour row the getting alright middle class Tory
and Sheikh Mansour
the Scouse oil baron
they're our new names
gotta have a word here
just found out
I am having a baby boy
at the end of August.
And can I also add,
Oh, gee.
Having a little lockdown baby.
Corona baby.
Need you to have a word with the mother of my unborn child.
I'm out.
I have suggested the name Hercules for my boy.
mother of my unborn child.
I'm out. I have suggested the name Hercules for my boy.
Such a strong name.
This guy's not ready to be a dad.
Such a strong name.
And I think it's a fucking belting name.
However, she doesn't agree
and wants to call it Charles.
What do you reckon, lads?
Do you need to have a word with her or am I being the dick?
Cheers from Chris.
Right, well, Chris, you're a bellend,
but you're my favourite type of bellend.
Charles.
I mean, my nephew is called Charlie,
but he's actually christened Charlie
so his name's not Charles
and I like the name Charlie but Charles
is like
Charles makes me think of like
Prince Charles
actually
did you have any problems naming the kid
with Laura
the first one
yeah you do go you basically it's weird first one. Yeah, you do go, you basically,
it's weird when you're trying to pick a name for a kid
because you do this weird thing where
you've basically, neither of you have got to hate it.
So you come up with an idea and then you float it.
And then if Laura has ever known or heard of or met someone
or gone to school with anyone that she knows or thinks is a bellend that's got that name
they're off yeah and then it goes into like a second phase of voting where it's if you like it
or not and we you know we got down to two or three names but Etta was just, Etta was the one that was the least hated.
I think that's...
What were the other names in the running?
Do you remember?
Chantel.
Really liked Chantel.
What?
Blake.
I don't know where that came from.
Chantel.
Yeah, yeah, Chantel.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Did you want her to be a stripper?
Just dead classy.
Just dead classy.
You're thinking of chandeliers no i don't know what was funny as well we thought we thought of etta and everyone was like is it
because of etta james the jazz singer we were like not really just you told us this is your
sister's mate's kid and she was fucking fuming so it's weird but yeah's, I don't know. Charles is fine.
I'd say this as a dad.
Try saying it in a day.
If you're like, ooh, I kind of like it.
Try saying it a hundred times a day.
Just, you know, before you have the baby,
try just saying it out loud. And if by time 15 or 20, you're like,
I fucking hate this name,
then don't name your kid that
because you are going to be saying that name
all the fucking time.
Hercules!
Hercules!
Hercules!
Hercules!
Put the television down!
Hercules!
Hercules!
Get off your mum!
Also, go one syllable
because I just feel like
if you're going to waste that much
you're going to waste so much more effort
with that second syllable
Steve
for your kids
two syllables
yeah how much time have I wasted saying ta
should have called it et
me and Jade have like
for a long time
been quite open about the fact
we're both on kids and that
and we've sort of argued about names
because I wanted to call my firstborn son Vinny.
Yeah.
Why?
Because you dodged the bullet,
and now you want your fucking child.
Well, I nearly got called Vincent,
and thank fuck I didn't, but my son.
Yeah, I wanted to call him Vinny.
I thought it would be a boss name, but...
We've picked a girl's name if we have a girl.
Go on.
Eliza. Eliza.
Eliza Rowe. Yeah, I like it.
I like it.
Hamilton, the musical.
Alexander Hamilton's wife is called Eliza.
Eliza's nice.
Eliza!
Just don't ruin it with a shit middle name. Oh, Linda.
Eliza Rowe's lovely. Eliza Linda Rowe.
Rough as fuck. what about boy names
um we both sort of like zach zach row zach row but my brother is called jack so we've already
got a jack row do we want a zach row what? What about Deshawn?
I actually really like the name
DeMarcus.
Tredavious. I'm just thinking
of some of the NFL.
Mohamed Roe.
Mohamed's actually the most popular boy's
name in the world. Yeah, but then he's going to get
shortened to Mo Roe.
No, we'll actually shorten it to Hammy.
We've discussed that.
Hammy Roe.
Just call him Stephen.
Stephen Gerard Roe.
You know you fucking want to see
Stephen Gerard Roe.
Do you know this is how much of a fucking rat she is, right?
I told her at one point I wanted the middle name to be Louie. And she was like, I don't mind that. Do you know this is how much of a fucking rat she is, right?
I told her at one point I wanted the middle name to be Louis,
and she was like, I don't mind that.
And then she found out it was named after Louis Suarez,
and she said, I can't have it.
Not Louis Suarez.
What?
The greatest player in Premier League history.
All right, let's do another have a word.
Before this gets too ridiculous ridiculous the murderous fucking snail
was less ridiculous than Suarez
we haven't really solved this problem for
Chrissie so is he allowed to call her
Hercules or Charles which would you go with
well Charles is fucking boring and Hercules
is stupid so
it's probably a happy medium
I'd float some more ideas
but don't call him Mohammed
or fucking Lewis or Vigard.
Vigard Hagen.
He doesn't live in Peckham.
You mixed so many songs in there.
That was quite impressive.
It was really good, wasn't it?
Yeah, Charles is fine, isn't it?
It's fine.
I think you can do better.
As long as you call it Charlie, that's okay.
But Charles just...
Charles stinks of him being a knobhead.
Do you know what I mean?
Also, what's the surname?
Is it on the email, what the surname is?
Townsend.
Charles Townsend.
Sounds fine, but it sounds like you fucking...
Hercules Townsend.
Sounds like some...
Sounds like an accountant.
Call him Bane
and then teach him
to do that voice.
Oh, you think
Charles is my name?
I was...
You nearly adopted
the name Charles.
What's happened to your Bane?
You just sound like
an old posh man.
Hey, hello, I'm Babe.
I live in Cotswolds and vote Conservative.
There, you think...
You think the National Health Service is your ally?
I was born in private health care.
Moulded by it.
Oh, Jesus.
What's happened to your brain?
I'm worried about it.
Oh, fuck it.
Oh, you think Charles is your name?
You think it's your name, Charles?
I was born with it.
Molded by it.
I didn't see the light until I met Friedrich.
So comes Tess Byrne.
Right, this is off the rails.
We need to call it.
That's been a...
That's the week.
We've got another have a word.
No, we've not.
We can't follow a have a word with
who has been.
Can we save it for tomorrow? you want yeah mom that was fun
we can't like because yesterday we were having fun and then we were like right and the thing
is about his fucking government see you later guys tonight see you tomorrow
oh dear oh you think we should end the podcast here? Oh, you think podcasting is not your ally?
Oh, you think podcasting is a sustainable form of income?
You think the circuit is fucked?
Yes.
Oh, you think you shouldn't down at WhatsApp for no fucking reason?
Oh, you think
gigs are coming back in September?
You're an idiot.
Hello, it's Ben on your WhatsApp.
You're not going to be gigging until
2024, yeah.
Can't wait for
Hot Water Compton, though.
It's going to be good, isn't it?
What's the music
I need some young talent
Around my job
So today's artist
Is a second time feature
It is Glenn Ruffhead
Made to mine from up in Newcastle
Was that a good accent
Newcastle
You think Newcastle's your ally
You were merely born
in the fucking Tainstead
and murdered... Right, we've got to end it.
Sorry, I've gone mental.
I've gone mental.
Glenn Ruffhead, his song is called
Royal Blood. It's an absolute belter. Go and find
Glenn on Instagram and Twitter and all that.
And please do send us in
some more songs. We are running low
on them. Get them into haveawordpod at gmail.com
you can also get your
have a word features there
your
virginity stories
dead relatives
anything
anything you like
get them into
haveawordpod at gmail.com
but playing us out today
is Glenn Ruffhead
with Royal Blood
in a bit kids
seal it in a bit kids see you later It's a shame
You've done this to yourself
So we don't talk anymore
I wish I was someone else
And when the lights fall out
And hope and fear is washed by the clouds
You hated me now I can't sleep myself For what I did
Between us things have changed
Cause I don't feel the same, we're just souls with different aims
And when the lights fall me down
And hope and fear You can watch the butter come
You can hate and mean
I was next in my turn We'll be right back. And when the lights are off
And all that fear is washed away and drowned
The hated men are not the same Watch the rider cry. You're hating me now.
I can't stand myself.
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