Heavyweight - Heavyweight Short: Cody

Episode Date: October 13, 2022

One day in high school, Cody received a hug that melted his heart. Sixteen years later and he still can’t stop thinking about it. Credits Heavyweight is hosted and produced by Jonathan Goldstein. This episode was produced by senior producer Kalila Holt, and Mohini Madgavkar. The supervising producer is Stevie Lane. Production help from Damiano Marchetti. Special thanks to Special thanks to Emily Condon, Aaron Randle, and Hannah Chinn. The show was mixed by Bobby Lord.  Music by Christine Fellows, John K Samson, Blue Dot Sessions, and Bobby Lord. Our theme song is by The Weakerthans courtesy of Epitaph Records. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

So Kaylee, we have a heavyweight short for the people this week. A short that you produced. How do I best describe what a heavyweight short is? I think you should just do a heavyweight short, you say. All the things you love about heavyweight, but just in a shorter, more digestible format for this fast-paced world. Guess what? What? You just introduced our heavyweight short.

Oh, okay. Today's heavyweight short, Cody, right after the break. Imagine being the first person to ever send a payment over the internet. New things can be scary, and crypto is no different. It's new, but like the internet, it's also revolutionary. Making your first crypto trade feels easy with 24-7 support when you need it. Go to Kraken.com and see what crypto can be. Not investment advice. Crypto trading involves risk of loss.

See Kraken.com slash legal slash CA dash PRU dash disclaimer for info on Kraken's undertaking to register in Canada. Cody describes his mom, Paula, as cuddly. Some of his earliest memories are of the two of them just snuggling. Just like her laying on the couch and me being small enough at the time, where she had her legs curled, you know, and you could almost hide behind her legs on the couch and make a little fort. Paula provided Cody with comfort even when she wasn't around. When he was five, she sewed him a blanket stitched with cartoon bunnies,

which Cody took everywhere. And when he grew too old for carrying around a blanket, he still slept with it at night. In the summer before Cody's freshman year, Paula went in for knee surgery. She suffered from arthritis, and over the years, the pain had only grown worse. Cody's understanding was that the operation was all very routine. But on the morning of the surgery, Cody remembers being

asleep under the bunny blanket when he was awoken by his sister. We need to go to the hospital right away, she said. It seems that post-surgery, a blood clot had moved up to Paula's lung. While walking down the hospital hallway, she'd suddenly collapsed. While walking down the hospital hallway,

she'd suddenly collapsed. We drove to the hospital, and, you know, like when... We were able to just walk in the room in my sister's room, and you could just tell from just how everybody was positioned, just, she's dead. And then I just sat down next to my grandpa. I don't think it fully hit me. I just remember just staring and just sitting and not knowing what to feel.

Her death was so sudden that nobody in the family knew what to feel. At the funeral home, Cody placed the bunny blanket in Paula's coffin. The person who'd always been there to hold Cody and provide him with solace during hard times was the person who is now gone. As for the rest of the family, rather than joining together, they withdrew from one another.

His two older sisters and his brothers spent most of their time alone in their rooms, and their father, who'd been in poor health for years, no longer had Paula to look after him. He had to be moved into a nursing home. The family was falling apart. My mom was the glue. It's like when she died, it just, we all just kind of

drifted in our own directions. Yeah. We just didn't know how to talk to each other. So I kind of just receded into my own little, my little room and did my own thing. Just wanted to just be left alone. Paula was buried in the cemetery across the street from Cody's house. The grave became the place where Cody went when he needed to unburden himself. Saying things in his head wasn't as good as talking out loud. But talking out loud in his bedroom

meant the rest of the family could hear. So, he'd walk across the street and talk to a tombstone. across the street and talk to a tombstone. Although still in a state of grief, Cody tried to return to normal life. This meant pre-season football practice, running drills, doing laps, and lifting weights. It was while training in the high school's dingy weight room one day that his new coach, Coach Walling, asked to see him. Coach Walling was like a coach out of central casting. Tall and athletic, he always wore shorts,

even in the dead of winter. It was Cody's first year on the team, and he hadn't interacted with Coach Walling much at all. So when he asked Cody to step out into the hall, Cody's first thought was that he was somehow in trouble. And I remember walking out and I don't know if he had said anything or if there was a lead in.

I don't think there was. But the thing that I remember was just him reaching out and just hugging me so tightly. You know how when you go for a hug, you can do the up, down, like one arm up, one lower?

Mm-hmm. I didn't have that chance. Like, he just hugged me. Since his mother's death, no one had done just that. Cody's family and friends weren't really the hugging type. There might have been a couple of polite hugs, some perfunctory hugs. But Coach Walling, basically a stranger, was hugging Cody with what felt like all his heart. He held me for a few moments.

I remember it so strongly. I get kind of teary-eyed just thinking about it, just because it was just something I really needed without knowing it. And I just, it was just something that I needed. It felt caring. Shortly after the day of the hug, Coach Walling took a job at another school, and Cody never saw him again. But the moment remained with Cody. From then on,

Cody started hugging all the time. He became the guy who'd hug his friends when they were having a bad day. And even now, with my wife, I just want hugs more than anything from her. Like, I come home, I want a hug. Before I go to bed, I want a hug. And she didn't understand it until actually I had told her the story. And she's like, that makes sense why you want to hug all the time.

Like, there's always a few things you're always going to remember in your life. You know, your kid being born, your marriage. And then for me, it's that hug is going to be in your life, you know, your kid being born, your marriage. And then for me, it's that hug is going to be included. Holy cow. God, I wish I could find him and just thank him, let him know that it mattered. After doing some digging, I found out that Coach Walling is John Walling. He recently retired after 36 years of coaching. I tell Cody I was able to track him down.

Okay. I have his phone number, and we can give him a call right now. Would it be okay if we rescheduled for that? I had to be in bed and a half hour so I can make my time tomorrow. Cody's a truck driver and a shift begins at 2.30 a.m. I understand why he would want to call it a night. But as we continue to talk, it feels like something else is at play. No, I do. I really do. But no, that's amazing. Give me just one second, okay?

Yeah, of course. Of course. Take what you need. Thank you. Okay. Yeah, I don't know. Like, what do you say? Like I don't know I'm really nervous now, but But yeah, we can do it

You want to do it? Yeah Okay, let's do it It's John, right? Yeah Yeah, it's John Walling. Yeah. I guess I'll say hi first. Okay.

Hello, this is John. Hi, John. This is Jonathan Goldstein. Oh, hello. How are you? Hi, John. This is Jonathan Goldstein. Oh, hello. How are you? I'd let John know I'd be phoning with a student of his named Cody from 16 years ago, but hadn't said much more than that. I have someone here who is wanting to talk to you. Hi, John.

Hey, what's going on? Hey. Been a crazy life. I have a little farm that we live on. Where at? We're up in Marshalltown. My dad lived in Marshalltown. His claim to fame is that he was the longest baby born in Marshalltown. With the pleasantries and the my dad was a longer baby than your dad

macho male bonding out of the way I asked John if he remembers Cody I do, I do So do you remember that summer in the weight room my mom had passed away and I remember you reaching out and just

giving me this biggest this long heartfelt hug and it meant it's just been following me for years and years and years now and I've been wanting to thank you for it for the longest time

because it just meant so much to me. When two people overlap in time and space, there's never any guarantee that what one person experienced as a special moment isn't for the other person just a blip. Something they sort of remember or want to remember

out of politeness or kindness. But today, this isn't the case. I do remember that. And I'm sorry. I remember that very, very vividly. What I had lost my mom in 1997. And so it was those emotions were still raw and real, and I'm not sure they ever heal. So when Coach Walling heard about the boy on the football team whose mom also died, he felt compelled to say or do

something. He just didn't know exactly what. Were you intending to hug him, or was it something that just happened? No, not at all. I mean, it kind of came out of left field. I felt such a pain of losing my mama that it just felt that that reaction just seemed natural as a response to the pain. Would you describe yourself as a hugger before that day? No, no, no. For Coach Walling, not only had the hug with Cody been a moment, it was the moment.

From that moment on, it became easier and easier and more okay and more okay for me to hug guys and, you know, to show that as a raw emotion. And so, Cody, I'm very grateful and honored that it helped you, but I wanted you to know that you helped me as well. John says that just like Cody, he didn't have a lot of huggers in his life. His dad was definitely not a hugger. He was a World War II and Korea veteran who, I mean, I saw him cry when my mama died, and that was it. He was an old, rugged warrior that, you know,

that was not what you did. Yeah, and with my dad um like he's in a he's in a home now i i like to i like to tease him a little bit so when i when i visit him in the home i'll uh be like all right dad here's your hug you know and i go in when i first started doing it he would you know shake his head and go no no no no no and and lightly pat me back but now i i think i think i've whittled him down enough he's like okay your your point um john about how after that you just it felt better or okay for for guys to hug and it just it became a thing it it did for me too i think just seeing a strong male figure like that just just

showing compassion it started to slowly realize to me just how much hugs can mean you know and right i know and honestly it sounds kind of silly to say that until you need it you know i'm i'm not ashamed to say I'm a hugger. And I feel like I have a fuller life because of it. I should tell everybody I love them too. And if that sounds strange, fantastic. John, John, I do the same thing. And I don't think that would have happened

if it wasn't for you. Oh. Well, I can't thank you enough for, you know, I'm the most blessed guy you're ever going to get on the phone. I feel so very blessed that you took the time and effort to try to find me. I appreciate that. And I love you. I love you too, John Well, you know, there's only one thing left to do Oh, I

I don't know I don't know what Virtual hugs Virtual hugs Okay Virtual hugs. Virtual hugs, yes, yes. Okay. You have a good night. You too.

Take it easy. And I guess I love you. Oh, I love you too, man. Thanks, John. Bye. Bye-bye. This heavyweight short was produced by senior producer Kalila Holt. Hello. And me, Jonathan Goldstein.

Along with Mohini Midgauker, our supervising producer is Stevie Lane. producer, Kalila Holt. Hello. And me, Jonathan Goldstein. Along with Mohini Midgauker, our supervising producer is Stevie Lane. Production help from Damiano Marchetti. Special thanks to Emily Condon, Aaron Randall, and Hannah Chin. Bobby Lord mixed the episode with original music by Christine Fellows, John K. Sampson, Blue Dot Sessions, and Bobby Lord.

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