Hello From The Magic Tavern - 11 - The Eunuch

Episode Date: May 13, 2015

I found out why there are so many purple banners in town. The Chief Eunuch of Belaroth is visiting Hogsface... and he's here to see me!CreditsArnie: Arnie NiekampChunt: Adal RifaiUsidore: Matt YoungBenedict Whisperbrew: Brendan DowlingMysterious Man: Tim SniffenProducers: Arnie Niekamp, Evan Jacover, Ryan DiGiorgiEditor: Evan JacoverTheme Music: Andy PolandMagic Tavern Logo: Allard LabanYou can support the show directly and receive bonus episodes and rewards by joining our Patreon at https://www.patreon.com/magictavern for only $5 per month. Follow us on Twitter and Instagram, and now Patreon!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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galaxy. We make lots of games. You might even like a few. Follow us on Twitter at iToTheG. Hello from the Magic Tavern, a weekly podcast from the magical land of fume. I'm your host Arneedee Camp, but in case you haven't listened to the podcast before I'm from Chicago But a few months ago I fell through a Magical dimensional rift behind Burger King into the land of fun and I'm still getting a little weak Wi-Fi signal from the Burger King

So I'm still hosting a weekly podcast in the tavern the vermilion minotaur in the town of hogs face in the land of fun As always I'm joined by my friends, uh, Chunt, the talking badger. Hello. And, uh, Yusidor. The witch... I am Yusidor, Wizard of the 12th realm of Ephesius, Master of Light and Shadow, many people in it are magical delights, devour of chaos, champion of the great halls of Tarakas, the Elves N fying y'all the dwarves know me is zone in whose

stanzies and I'm no no these test-guess when it's me star, but there may be other secret names You do not know yet. Wow you would some extra stank on at that time. I really did didn't I yeah You're in like you're really like it full you're like it full you said yeah, I am in the zone And like you're really like it full, you're like it full you should do. Yeah, I am in the zone. Before we get started, I just want to apologize to you guys for sort of abandoning the podcast last week. I feel really bad about it.

I was just having a bad week and I think I just needed some me time. But you know what, I'm back and I'm dedicated to the podcast and sharing the very important information that Foon exists with people in my world. Sounds great! Yeah, sounds good, have you heard from your wife yet? No, I have not heard from my wife yet. I think it's probably because the email that I have, probably is going to expand address.

As you know, our email is MagicTabbernetPuppies.supplies. I think she's not getting my attempts to communicate with her. It is weird that she hasn't heard this podcast because I can only imagine that everyone on earth is listening to it because it's such earth shattering information. Now, why do you imagine that? Why do I imagine that people in my world don't know that there are other worlds. They don't know of the 12 realms of Ephesians. They do not know.

I still don't, what are the 12 realms of Ephesians? When food was first formed, the three goddesses, Foo, and Un, they all had made love to one another. And then there were six men born of these three goddesses, and those six men all made love, and those six men all gave birth to 12 men and women, who... So it always doubles, it doesn't, it's not like multiple multiplies.

You're a very bad at math, we've established this clearly in the past. I think when something doubles that's still multiplication. Yes, it is. Technically, times two. I thought it was like squaring, I suppose. No, it's not. But nice try. Yes, and then the 12 realms each was related to one of these 12 descendants of the original goddesses, and the wizards that descendants of the original goddesses and and the wizards that that that that that to to to to to walk the phone they are each born of one of these mystical realms. I want another date this week. Oh, Oh, that's not your battle. Yeah, chun, chun getting out there.

I went out with a crow. Uh-huh. But you're still the badger. I'm still a badger. Uh, struck out. We went to, um, food Fest. Yeah. It's just like a musical music festival. Wow. Some of some of food's tops top bands are there. What are some of food's top? Oh boy You got they are giants. They are giants. Okay. And are they Giants? They are giants. Okay Swords and roses. Mm-hmm. The black crow's which her brother was in And sounded it. Come. I mean not to like pride. We were dancing. We took some We took some substances and we were like, what did you take? We took some more glorb. You're welcome Yeah, you used to or made me some more glorb. Are you like a more glorp? Don't worry about it.

Are you looking at me? You looking at your score? I can no cue up, don't worry. I don't really know how... I'm not supposed to do it yet. I don't know. Okay, yeah, sure. Totally, I just don't know how this...

Oh, it's not getting angry at me for sure. So, I'm totally, I'm probably into this, but I just don't know. I trust you guys, you're my friends. Well, how did it work out for you this weekend? No, well, I just started spewing barf everywhere While still dancing and I mean it's just a mess gun or feathers and I'm gonna pass the morgue look I think now I'm here I'll hear about all this All right, that's what hey, you know what guys maybe we should talk to our guests

Oh, yes, yes, who's your guest today? I'm very excited. We have a representative of the court of the Bellarots, the power in the Northeast, Benedict Whisper Brew. Yes, it's wonderful to be here on the old house. Well, you know. Oh, thank you. Thank you so much.

I don't get a lot of compliments here. You've heard word of your great beauty and your striking looks. Really? The robins did justice to the lustrishness of your beard, the heartiness of your eyebrows. Wow! This is awesome. Thank you so much. So the wait, so the people in the Bellerass court have heard of me? Oh yes, the court has flamed with words and wonderment of the new visitor to Foon

and how he is struck fourth in the tavern and has held court with his lusty tails and magical wonderments. Wow, that is great. I gotta be honest, I've felt a little bit like, people, you know, people kind of don't respect me here in phone. No, no, no. There's an entire tapestry that's currently being designed by the lumas of Queen Tatanya's court that projects you and all your wandermentes. You descended in a flame of glory

among a Pegasus in a unicorn into the tabernacle. Oh wow! That's incredible. What do you- I don't remember that happening. No, I don't think that did, but I think it's just like a metaphorical episode. Is Tatanya depicted in this tapestry- Yourl textile wonderment, yes, my queen to Tanya is perched in the corner. Her ivory hands clutched to her ample heaving bosoms. Do we perspiration least around her supple skin like some blessing of dew upon a warm April morning. For the listeners who maybe haven't listened to all of our earlier podcasts, Queen Tatanya is quite attractive. It is said that the angels wept when she was born.

The three most attractive women in Foon committed mutual suicide at Tatanya's christening. I remember that. Yes. Oh no. Yes, it was horrible. One of the worst christines I've ever been to. Thank you, Notes, we're not delivered until up to a year and a half after the actual event. Oh, sure. Yeah.

So now Benedict, what do you do for the belleroths? Belleroths' chief unit, I am a procurer of things that they might find. A unit means that I have been liberated from my genitals, freed from the curse of my testicles. I have been emancipated by my Manhood. No, no, we have never asked are you a unit? No, no, what would make you think that I mean unit? That's the way you care yourself. Yeah, I don't know how things work in your world. No, I you know, no I have my bait and tackle. I'm totally Everything's you had a child I do I have a child I have a very. Oh, you need to see who had a child, I have a child.

Yes, I have a very young child. So I fairly recently used my stuff. Don't brag about it. And it's in the working order. Yeah, totally. Yes, let me write this down. What sort of notes are you taking? I'm just taking general sketches, drawings of Arnold. Yes, my leather-bound journal of secrets, written in a quill of ink supplied by Athenix's

blood, legible only to fellow Unix. Oh, Benedict. Oh, I must admit to you, I am a great coveater of secret sardai. I do wish that I could look into this journal. You said, or I guess if you just cut your dick in the balls you would be able to read it, right? Do I say much for things to you?

No, I'm more than I see. No, no, I'm sorry, I didn't mean... This is just the way Arnie is. This has gone bad very quickly. I'm sorry. I'm sorry I've been at it. I just picked in your book and I saw you wrote next Arnie you wrote four possibly four point five. What is that? We hope for it hold on hold on hold on so Do you

Do you not have any channels? What are you talking about? You said... The Phoenix... The Phoenix Inc. is only legible to fellow Unix, but I wrote the rankings of Master Arnold in Ravens blood, which is legible to people who are still LWG living with genitals. Oh, what the... Okay, okay, no, I'm sorry. Yes, I gave him a 4.5. I'm sorry, we've taken a weird side track

and we've spent a lot of time on talking about who, talking about who doesn't, doesn't have genitalia and I apologize. Although you seem very happy to not have them. Yes, there's insight gained when one has their perspective narrowed. Like what? Do you mind me?

I don't know. Well, as the chief unit, I am, as Yusudor noted, some chancellor of secrets, I know all the innings and outings of food. I know every deacquist desire harbored by our inhabitants asked me anything and I can inform you. That is great, although wouldn't you be able to do that? Wouldn't you be able to do that and still have genitals?

Why are you being like this? I don't know, I don't mean to insult them. I'm just... So you know, most, you know, I mean, your little robins tell you almost everything. They tell me, they inform me. Yes, once you are deprived of your genitals and I don't know how Unix work,

but you have fun. Oh no, they're... But when you take the order of Unix hood in food, then you are immediately blessed with bird speak and then the birds immediately transcribe all the delicious dealings and delvings. You only need three hours of sleep. You start to enjoy hobbies a little bit more intently, appreciate sunsets, sunrises. a little bit more intently appreciate sunsets, sunrises. Can I ask, have you heard any rumors about Arnie? Can you share that?

Yes, chumped. I have heard some meandering, a very pecan't sparrow flew into my chamber the other day, and she had just enjoyed a dabbling peak at Master Arnold in his bath chamber, and she immediately fluttered and said that a man of Arnold's considerable talents would be of much interest to Queen Titania and her upcoming festival of the satiated Hippocrith. Oh, wow! Salutations to the Arnold. This is a great honor that has been heaped upon me. Yeah, so I guess what, like, what would that entail?

Ah, yes. At the festival of the satiated hip-hop riff, you would be at my queen's side. You would sup upon the delicate ambrosia. You would feed upon honey grapes. You would dance the dance of the 12 confessions. Oh, it's very simple. You just dance the way you choose to dance. There's no guideline, and then you just shout out randomly 12 confessions that you have. And it was just a unique tip you want to start a unique tip

He's a person. I know I'm rude with feelings Do you want to go to this dance? I do I do was your pun worth it? No, I'm crying. Look at him He's crying. I don't know. There's a lumberjack in a town over who would be all too happy to take your place. I'm sorry. There's a lusty barrel hooper who would give up hooping barrels to have been seen. The barrel hooping. Oh, just, you know, I mean, I would get out of here and go if she's looking for mates, I mean, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, if she would like to sleep with herself, I would be her and... Oh, Chad. Was that too presumptuous? Everybody heard about the festival and the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... I guess I lined it with something. No, I just had to go.

I'm writing that down. No, that's right. You tell me Benedict, would it be appropriate for him to begin figuring out what his confessions are right now? Should we work on that right now? Yes, yes, yes. What are your 12 confessions? I told him. Yes. Yes. Yes. What are your 12 confession? I told you

Yes, yes, just start with something Fake and kind of in person or something you would so we work your way up. Yes. Yeah Oh, you don't want to start with your not the most confession. Oh sure So it's good advice from a unique you'd be wise to take it. Okay. Well, why don't we do this see We're in my world where I come from sometimes if you do, like if you're in an improv group or something like that, you would say a thing and then everyone would say the number that you're on, and then you would say the next thing. So I will say, so I'll say my first confetti.

Are they math, a little bit? Yes, we've established that Arnold has a lot of trouble counting. So if we need to count for him, I suppose that's fine. I guess that's just you. I guess that's just you. We'll count for him, I suppose that's fine. Yes, that's just you. I'll count for him. Oh, you did, okay. So my first confession is that I,

this is gonna be a long 12. No, okay, okay, no, you're right, I'll do this fast. Growing up, I was a slightly allergic to fruit. One. Thank you. And I have slightly webtoes. Two. What is that to how?

That's how Unix cout with the clucking of their tongue. With the clucking of your tongues. Chondas really staring me down. Three. Chondas really staring me down. It's three. It's been fashioner just to stay counting that one. I mean, we got it.

I mean, I feel like there's got to be a certain amount of filler in these 12 confessions, right? That's what I want to get to look adored. The last festival of the satiated hippoclyph, Elevator, the gifted elf, gave confessions of such insight and emotional honesty that the dance totally shut down by number 10 when he confessed to steering the witch-blue for his mother's ex-mother. There was not a dry eye in the house.

His 11th confession, where he confessed, untoward thoughts towards his runesh companion, caused people to look each other in their eyes and have conversations of such emotional acuity that there are bonds of friendship that have not been broken since. That makes your confessions look like a fucking pile of trash. What a fag! Babe, now, I'm not a white guinea pig, I'm Bill!

Yes, we're only on number two. We all know that Arnold's greatest... Wait, wait, wait, wait, give me that. I was fine, three. Arnold's greatest strength is emotional honesty. So let's continue Look I and I totally I look I want to do these confessions But I just want to backtrack for this is yes queen to tani is looking for a mate

That is what this whole festival is it's the festival of the satiety typo graph Yes, we we eat we sup on the honey grapes. We drink the ambrosia We dance the dance the 12 confessions and Ambrosia, we dance the dance of the 12 Confessions, and then we have personal time in the tense of titillation. The tense of titillation? Yes, the tense of titillation. They are staked by maiden crones who pitch the tense and weave the archways of silk cultivated by mutant silkworms. When Benedict said, pitch attempt, you face got real smug.

What's going on? I didn't want to say. What's going on? We're going to say when a unique pitch is a tent, I didn't want to be replaced with yourself. No, well, I mean a little bit. I don't get it. What's wrong with a unique pitching attempt?

I need somewhere camping. I need somewhere to protect themselves from the elements. Should they find themselves upon the King's Road? Every fall, me and my stepson go out for a 10 day camping expedition. We have a stepson. Yes, yes, yes, Bethala mute. Oh, Bethala mute the mute. Oh, I think one of your confessions. With Bethala mute with Barbreu. Yes. That's funny sounding. What's your last name? What's your last name? Me camp. Our knee camp. So both your first name and your last name have knee in it our knee knee camp

That sounds redundant. We have parents sad when you were born. Yes, we're parents sad when you were born That's a great question. I mean no, I think they were quite happy when I was born our knee knee camp. Oh, hello. This is my son Elvin Elbow Trek one of your confessions Arnie should be that you're an insensitive prick. Yes, continue with the confessions. Confession number four. Prick. Well, then at the height of the tent of titillation, you and Queen Tatanias shall go in.

They're blinded gremlins, where disrogued both of you massage your supple bodies with a poultice made of tears of a Pegasus and the secrets of a virgin. And then the two of you shall know each other. Such configurations that the mathematicians shall weep when they see the sweet geometry made by both of your bodies. I know that you're a unique, but you just start sweating when you talk about this stuff. Yes, I usually have to change my outfit three or four times a day when I'm talking about the festive, the seasheet, the tip of grief. I should be in the corner, charcoing the entire thing for posterity. Alright, alright, let's get back to my confessions.

I am married and I am fully committed to my wife, but I have to admit that at least on some small level that I am intrigued. I'm at least a little bit intrigued by this whole situation because that's the kind of thing that... Surely your wife has an understanding even for... For. I mean, Tattanya would be on my list where I married. Yeah, no, I mean, oh, do you have that in Foon? Do you have that on earth?

Well, yeah, like a celebrity's list, like a kind of like, I'm married, but I could always have sex with him. Ah, yeah, it's like, Mugalek the Ogaslayer, so it would be probably on the top of every young ladies list. Oh, yeah, it's shoulders like Tetonia, clearly. Yeah, top of everyone's, yes. Oh, wow. Oh, good. There's also, I mean, and. Yeah, top everyone's just. Oh, wow. There's also, I mean, and I don't subscribe.

I look, Sarah, if you're listening, I absolutely don't subscribe to this theory. But in my world, there's this idea that, you know, you know, certain distance is not the bonds of fidelity weakened, right? You know, you know, certain states over or, you know, it's another... Those states, like Wizard State?

No, like different kingdoms. I think we've dug ourselves far enough into this old. What's confession number five? I regret some of the things I've said. Great five. Um, I don't know. It's all right. You want to save your good stuff for the dance. Yes, that's true.

You don't want to mate with right. You want to save your good stuff for the dance. Yes, that's true. You don't want to mate with the canine as they say. Plus it's taking you 20 minutes to do six, so that's, thank you, John. You know, I do have one more. I feel like I've made really good friends, and I feel like I hear in a food, and I feel like I push them away sometimes, but with like petty barbs and jibes, but I really care for them deeply, and I hope that they...

12 because I don't care anymore. I thought that was very big of you, honey. Oh, thank you, chund. I think most things are very big of you, because you're a very big man. Yes. Fatad, it was very pleased to hear of your height. I am very tall. I'm also, you know, I think as Chant is suggesting, I'm a little bit of a husky guy.

Is it possible that they have me confused with someone else? Like Arnor, who I've heard of? Is this mighty? Mythical, mythical warrior, I bet it's Arnaud's 38 feats of Arnaud, or mythical Yes, you have to understand about Queen Tataniy She's run the spectrum of sexual partners She's mated with dragonslayers She's done over the church stuff with gatekeepers, she's done a little bit of foot play with Goblin Tamer and so when she had chance to see what temporal pleasure could be had from a

visitor from another realm, her arched, shot up and her breast-deified gravity just a little bit more than they usually do, and she snapped her little fingers and she said, Benedict whisper blue, you have to get me this Arnie knee, for my own. Wow, sorry. Barkeep, another stormy night for our unique friend here. Arnold, have you ever considered it? I change your name to a lemonade, thread, redundancy, and just being on a camp. Yeah, what if, I mean, I would be chunned, unt? You said door-roar?

You see, eduar? I don't know. No, that is bizarre. It is, I look. Do everyone, does everyone on earth have, do everyone have? They're, come on man. Does everyone have? Really? Why, why are you picking a power chun's safe?

Chun's point is hot out to you today. You know what? You're not listening to me. I see. How dare you, how dare you, sir? I'm going to call something out that I think all of us have observed, and I think as a unit, I have been blessed with a prescient insight. But the sexual tension between Ardian Chant can only be described as delicious.

What do you say to you when I wake up in 14 days, looking at yourself next to you and Ben? No, I don't. Time, great. The only thing that is less attractive to me than you is me. I don't have a second. I'm not a very nice thing. I think you're a very handsome badger. Thank you.

Yes. You're being a real fucking garbage. As a unit, I think it's shut. As a unit, if we cross the line with each other, I do still consider you a friend. I just want to say Arnold, as a unit, it's so important to begin each day with looking at yourself in the mirror and saying one nice thing about yourself. What did you say about yourself this morning?

I have well-formed nostrils. You do. I really do. Yeah. Thank you. Do you still keep your... My manhood, yes, it's in Emason jaw duplicated by a portion of

Elf sweat. So you keep it moist just in case or at any time it can be reattached when my Yes, this is food. I had no, I thought it was more of a permanent thing. Wait. No, no, no. Your eunuchs can't put that. No, our eunuchs have their, I mean, historically have their stuff brutally chopped off and then it's just gone forever. Oh, that's a, that is a wow.

Why would you ever? Why would you want to be a eunuch? You mostly don't. It's usually forced upon you. Well, then who talks to the birds? How do you communicate with the kestries? You don't. I mean, you talk to the turkeys. How do you chat with the chickens?

How do you populate with the poppin' chains? For. How do you cat-a-wall with the kingfishers? Five. How do you sing with the sp and cheese. Four. How do you, how do you, cat-o-wall with the Kingfisher? Five. How do you sing with the sparrows? Six. How do you, whisper with the rents?

Seven. How do you, elucidate with the peacocks? Eight. How do you, gossip with the goose? Nine. Yes, the nine birds of food have now been listed by me. That's how you do it. So Benedict whisper,

thank you so much for being a guest on Hello from the Magic Tavern. It has been my pleasure, Arnie, chante. Yusodora. The pleasure has been all ours. Yes, and as enticing as your offer is, you know, between being a married man and really wanting to stay here in Hogsface to host this podcast every week, I just can't make it up to the Northeast anytime soon. I totally understand. I can go. You know what, she actually just finished this thing with spin-tax, and she... Oh, spin-tax.

He took her to such heights of pleasure that a wizard should have no rights of knowing. He expanded her conception of what sensation could be that I think she's good with wizards right now. Wizard, more like, wizards right now. Whiz it, we're like whiz turd. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha See that one. That was very clever. I might use that as one of my hoping megaphone nights. Oh feel free feel free. Feel free. I've been experimenting with Horizontal. Well those two make small talk. I'm going to Remind everyone listening at home to please if you enjoy the podcast please give us some Stars and good reviews on iTunes or whatever your podcast ing thing is and also please send us emails at magictavernatpuppies.supplies. I know it does not sound like a real email address,

but it absolutely is. Can I put my email more quick? I still have chunt at gmail.com, that's chunt with six teas. We've got some great emails. I would love maybe a drawing of what you think I might look like or of me already in your store hanging out. So any drawings or paintings. I still don't understand how you were able to get a Gmail address.

Even I, because of the firewall the Burger King, I have not been able to get on any Google related site and somehow you have a Gmail address. Chant, please. Well, all right, I'm gonna quick read. And I just want to say if you have any gossiping birds, you can can you can send them my way at the aviary at the palace in the Northeast I'm gonna I'm gonna read some real quick emails here from Lauren Lopez rights is this email real I love this podcast so much you guys please let this email be real and it is Nice firm next email Craig Linky writes Yusador. This is to you Yusador. Thanks Do you have any concerns that all of Arnie's questions in his podcast? This is in quotes are

Affinely guised intelligence gathering mission for what will eventually become the invasion of Foon. No! No, yeah. I mean, I have to be honest. I don't think you have the guy who pulled off such a trick. Yeah, no. I mean, there isn't always an outside chance that the people of my world will, you know, we're kind of a war hungry race. And so there's always a chance that if they do get access to Foon, that you never mentioned this before. Who knows what they would do. But I'm hoping that my podcast will really show the great things about food and the people in my world will not want to attack. Chanted, do you want to- Are you- Are you-ant mail. Let's get to the good to the real stuff here Simon Clee says hey chant I feel like Yusudor sucks up a lot of the glory in the first minute of the show with his extensive name

I don't feel that way. I just definitely do know good friend if you if you were to have an equally long and obnoxious name If you were to have an equally long and obnoxious name, what would it be? Always listening, Simon Clee. Well I'm just your basic chunt. The L's know me as chunt, the Dwarves know me as chunts. Everyone's wild they'll call me chunty or chuchu. Chuchu. Yeah, chuchu. I'm going to start calling it chuchu.

Please stop. That's for friends. Alright, well thank you so much. Oh, I've got a gossipy partridge right here, and she's whispering to me, it seems that the baker's wife might have a love being baked in her oven that was needed by another man's fingers where it looks like the postman's letter has found a different male slot doesn't it?

No, wonderful. That's how you do it, bud. Oh boy, none of that sure did ever really happen, and if you find yourself grappling with the contradiction of what you may have heard last week, I invite you to get some rest, making sure to sleep near an open window where a concentrated energy beam may find its way towards the memory center of your brain. Chunch the Badger is merely a mask behind which you'll find the fragile soul of Adel Rathai. Usador the Wizard was portrayed with unnecessary volume and cadence choices by Matt Young.

Special guest Benedict Whisperbrew was played by Brendan Dowling. Matt and Brendan perform regularly in the improvised Shakespeare company. Ooh, niche comedy. Hello from the Magic Tavern is produced by Arne Neacamp, Evan Jacover and Ryan DeGeorgie. This episode was edited by Evan Jacover. Take that, Ryan DeGeorgie. All of this delightful fake belief was sponsored by Iron Galaxy with the help of the Chicago Podcast co-op.

Follow Iron Galaxy on Twitter at iToTheG and the Chicago Podcast co-op. Follow Iron Galaxy on Twitter at iToTheG and the Chicago Podcast Co-op at Chi Podcast Co-op.