Hello From The Magic Tavern - 30 - The Midwife

Episode Date: September 23, 2015

I'm starting to get the sense that Chunt might not actually like me at all. Maybe we'll patch things up this week while we interview a magical midwife. I have so many questions about midwifery on Foon.CreditsArnie: Arnie NiekampChunt: Adal RifaiUsidore: Matt YoungUteriah: Nicky MargolisBungaree Chubbins: Tom GottliebMysterious Man: Tim SniffenProducers: Arnie Niekamp, Evan Jacover, Ryan DiGiorgiEditor: Ryan DiGiorgiTheme Music: Andy PolandMagic Tavern Logo: Allard LabanYou can support the show directly and receive bonus episodes and rewards by joining our Patreon at https://www.patreon.com/magictavern for only $5 per month. Follow us on Twitter and Instagram, and now Patreon!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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The following podcast is not real, but it is really sponsored by Know Your Company. Got 25 to 75 people in your company? Check out KnowYourCompany.com. Software that helps companies like Airbnb know their company better. Hello from the Magic Tavern! A weekly podcast from the magical land of fun, I'm your host Arneene Cam. If you've never listened to the podcast before, this is what's going on. About half a year ago, I fell through a dimensional portal behind Burger King into the magical land of fun. Luckily, I'm still getting a slight Wi-Fi signal from the Burger King, I think through

the dimensional portal and I used that to host a weekly podcast that I record here in the Vermilion Minotaur, a tavern in the town of Hogsface in the fantastical land of Thune, and I am joined every week by my co-hosts. The Usador, Wizard of the Twelfth Rail, Muffin Fesius, Master of Light and Shadow, Minipulator of Magical Moonlight, Devour of Pios Chaos, champion of the great halls of Tarakas! The Elves Nummies feel like the duos nummies and the new stanges. And I am known on an office to discuss what's the best. And maybe another secret information. Do not know yet.

Was that last card directed at anyone in particular, or were you just whispering that to yourself? Eight minutes so. You're in a zone? He's in the wizard zone. Oh, the wizard zone. How is the wizard zone different from the wizard state? Well, the wizard's focused. Oh, he can still hear you.

I have one one. I can still hear you. Two, my magical power is coalescing all about me, so that I may cast an amazing spell of great power. Yeah, from what I've heard when you're in the zone, it's a lot of discovery. No, it's just like you're over to a lot of it. Like a discovery zone. What is it?

Like it's a discovery zone. Yeah, you're, why do you look so smart? I don't know. People on earth are loving it. Yeah. And hey, while you're marshaling your powers around you, my co-host is also choney chun chun chun. My coworker. What? Oh, my coworker. My coworker. Work with you? Well, we work together on this podcast. Is this work? The door is my boon companion and friend and ch and, you are my peer, my coworker. Okay. What does that mean?

Well, we aren't we all. Sorry, am I distracting you from the wizard zone? I'm, I'm gonna set that aside for a moment. So, you, you're now just peers with Chunt? Yeah, I've been doing a little soul searching recently and I sort of came to the realization I've been spending all this time really like thinking that Chunt was my friend and I sort of came to the realization. I've been spending all this time really like thinking that Chant was my friend

and I love Chant, he's a great guy, he's really helped me since I've come here to fune but I don't think he likes me and that's fine. It's okay Chant, if you don't wanna be my friend, that's okay, I need to protect myself, I need to have strong boundaries and not like keep... You should all have the answer!

Have I been that obvious? You shouldn't have. I've been so deluded this all of a sudden. Like, everything out of Chunchmouth has made me realize that like he's like, I don't really like you that much. Which is fine. I feel like I've lost Arubi, I didn't know I had. In that I don't care. Oh, he I've lost Arubia. I didn't know I had And that I don't care

Oh, he never comes to chant night Now that's the most important night of the week to me. He never comes to chants night. Now Arnold Snipe wants you to go to a chants night soon But more importantly, I believe it is time for the two of you to move back in together. Oh. Hmm. Hmm. And consummate your relationship.

Ooh. I can get into that. You look, I am very happy that now that the Vermilion Minotaur is the sponsor of the podcast, I have the nicest room here. But I have to admit, I do kind of miss. But they gave you the nicest room. They gave me the nicest room because this podcast is getting the word out about the

Vimillian Minotaur when people from Earth find a way. Well, when people on Earth who listen to this podcast find a way too phone eventually, it's really going to pay off for the Vimillian Minotaur. So you say, you know something I kind of miss when Arnie used to stay with me was he would do an impression of this guy this earth guy I Think his name was Joe Pesci he would do this Joe Pesci

I would love to hear it. He's looking me and he'd say something like something about why don't you do your impression of me doing my joke I can't even I mean I don't even want to attempt it, because yours are so great. Yes, I am very, I love my Joe Pashy impression. It's like, hey, what am I? Clown to you. That's not what I remember. That's not what you remember being better.

Even though you have no concept of what I'm missing. I am confident not knowing who this person is that that impression was Excellent. It was thank you, buddy Good friend Chuchu. Yeah, how can you meet all? Oh boy, I mean, I guess I just want him to respect me. I feel like he says like, you're my best friend. Like he said multiple times, I'm his best friend.

And yet he won't come to chance night. Is it all, is it just a hundred percent chance night? Did you know that a few days ago at a chance night, I wrote a limbic about how much I love you and care for you. What? And it was sincere and genuine. Why don't you read it for us now?

Yes. Remember, I'd love to hear this. Let me fish this out of my fur. Here we go. There once was a man in Foon, who was a companion of Boon. His name was Arnie Wilson, Kamakarney. Oh, and man, what a huge ass goon. Oh, well, I took a turn at the end.

But, you know, I thought that was lovely. Have you ever, has anyone ever called you a goon before? Yeah, they have. Do you have goons on earth? We do, but it's not really. You're a fucking goon. John, that's good here. That big sucked back into the game. No, no, no, no, no That's good here! That's a good word!

No, no, no, no, that's good! That's a good word! Of course it's good! Yes, you want to be a goon? Oh, if only someone would call me a goon. If only my own sweet genelivia would look at me deeply in the eyes and say, you said, oh, you are my goon.

But she is gone. Well, you know what? Did I mention that my would-be wife ran away because I tried to encase her into a crystal coffin to replace herself with a plate of croissants? You have mentioned that, it's still not entirely sure I understand what happened. I was going to have a natural kidnap wedding the most wonderful type of wedding to have in food, and uh... When I opened the coffin, there was a plate of delicious croissants, instead of my beloved gen Libya. Well, I do greatly wish that she had been there instead.

She tricked me! Yeah, well... Well, I- Because she did not want to marry me. Yeah. That seems like that's the case. Well, I want you to know that no matter what she did to you, and no matter how much you're hurting, you're a fucking goon.

Oh, you're a goon too, John. Oh, thank you. We're just a bunch of goon, so good. A bunch of goonies. We're a bunch of goonies. Goons go ahead. Goons never die. Oh, that's right.

You know, I've been so- I'm very touched. Yeah, we've been so into our own or interpersonal problems that we've really been. Oh, I'm just taking in all your energy right now Yeah, well, let me introduce our guest you to you to raya you to raya valesuvius That's correct and you're a magical midwife. I am that is what I am. Yes, I might have delivered you. I don't know. Oh, well, well, you could not have delivered me. For I came fully formed, when the earth and the air and the wind and the birds did conspire to bring a champion forth, to fight the dark lord, and use all of his great power to focus and and use all of his great power to focus and gather forces to take down his evil machinations. Ye only use a dork and do this. Only use a dork and his twelfth happy. I love the track that I won. I might not have delivered a piece of dough. And I was cut out of my mom's thorax at home.

Yeah, that's how I thought. Well, someone had to do that. It had to be, it was an S section, an S, it's named after Sepharius. Sepharius? Yeah, he was a great ruler, and he was had to be cut out of his mom. Oh, wow.

As a midwife or not against the S section I mean of course when medically necessary rule of course have that happen So the S section was named after the baby that came out of the first S section and not the person that performed it Are you asking me? Yeah I wasn't listening You know I'm so interested I wasn't listening. All right, fair enough. You know, I'm so interested, you know,

before I came here, my wife and I had a baby within the last half of the year, or actually like a year ago. And I learned a lot about midwifery, and I'm excited to learn what a midwife in Fung does. Is it midwifery or midwifery? It's midwifery. Oh, nice.

So, for one for Arnie. Yes, well, as a midwife or your midwife? It's midwife or any. Oh, alright. It's for one for Arnie. Yes, well as a midwife, I take care of the mother. We meet weekly. About some time, halfway through, I take over as the wife, being the midwife. You take over as the wife? Yes, my soul enters her. This is what that's all about.

This all sounds right to me, so. Oh, yes. Okay, this is not a small, midwifery. Yes, yeah, sometime during the, you know, in halfway through in the third pentamester, I will become the wife. You know, I take on her burdens, her pain, you know. Oh, I mean, that's beautiful.

Well, thank you. Thank you. So at some point, like deep into the pregnancy, you become, I'm just repeating what you just said, but you're soul enters the wife. What happens to the wife's soul? Well, it just, it's dormant. And it's, so she will then want to have another baby.

Sure. Again, because you know, it is very traumatizing when your birth cavity opens up like that. And usually you don't want to remember that kind of thing. So I take on, I'm given this special gift and I take on that burden. Wow. So how many births have you, has your soul experienced? Oh, countless. I mean, it's funny. I have mothers come up to me often and say, oh, you delivered my child. And I don't remember that.

And I feel bad, you know, but I mean, you remember the big ones, you know, something crazy happened. But um, Do you ever, because I know, you know, birth thing is, I assume a pretty painful process. I know my mom was pretty heavily scarred. Do you ever dip into some more glober, but a little bit of just to help relax and help with

the pain. It's not healthy for the child. The surgeon general recommends that we don't do that. Really? You know, this is a surgeon general. What? I love to- Of course, King Albane looked upon his great army, and he said, you, General, he made one of his generals into a great surgeon, sent him to medical school. Okay, good to know. I don't know his name. I don't follow politics!

So the surgeon general of Foon does not recommend taking more galore or any kind of drugs? No, no, no, no. There are certain flowers you can eat. Sure. I mean be careful with with flower you do eat There's some very powerful ones. Yeah And you don't want to eat those. It's more of the the Weedy ones. The Weedy ones. Interesting. I think you need to eat your Weedy's. So my mommy said. Yes, breakfast of athletes. Oh wow. It's what we say. Yeah, a lot of men's players will eat Weedy's. Yes. And then their face will be if they do well, their face will be magically hovering above like a hatch of weedies. Before you eat a flower, be sure to speak to it for at least 20 minutes. It does not respond.

You know, you would be... Then you may go ahead and devour it. Yes. You know so much. I think you would be such a great assistant during a labor. I just want something for you to think about. Really? Yes. Do people want, you said, or around when they're giving birth? That seems...

I'm settling. I'm getting the very sensitive energy from, from usage. Right. I am very tuned in to the energies of the world. And when a woman is pregnant, she also is tuned in to the vibrant magical energies that flow and bind and connect us all. It's just beautiful. Yeah.

If you ever need an assistant to help name babies, I mean, I would be thrilled. I kind of just want to name one baby Billy Yum Yum 2x2 I just want one in a one baby Billy Yum Yum 2x2 and then like step back and back. That's Chums maybe that's maybe it's time for you to consider having a baby yourself So that you can name that baby Billy Yum Yum 2 by 2. You fucking goon. People of Earth, listen to you Satoa's voice now. If your name is Billy Yum Yum 2 by 2, send us an email to Trump with 60s at Gmail.

Let's take a real quick break. Let's hear from one of our sponsors. Let's maybe refresh our drinks and we'll be back and learn some more from Uteraya Vala Suvius. Yes. Hello, I'm here again, Bungery Chubbins. Do you find that most chamber pots are dull on the eyes, but who share upon the nose? Who wouldn't want to deposit their leavings

into a nutmeg-centred bowl depicting the Elven con quest of Fingaloon? Or maybe you prefer your turdbox in a nice herring bone. It smells like anis. Well, if you can afford that luxury, go right over to Penn Halligan's pretty parties on Northwest street, but I can't stop you. But, if you want the simple pleasure of dropping your colon zone fragrance into a dollar than we're receptacle, then please come around to Chabin's chamber parts and so forth. Oh, did I? Did I mention we who we also have lids? You know, once I'm I talked to I was a hair I turned into a rabbit or a single hair Come on And I was gonna I was about to eat a flower and I talked to it for 19 minutes

I was like here we go and then at the last minute talked so was it a sleep, or it was just kind of like, I don't know. My guess is, it was fucking with you. Yeah, they can be pretty tricky. So you know, I am endlessly fascinated with midwives. Oh, thank you. Yeah, when we had our child, my wife really wanted to have a home birth, which is actually not very common where I come from. Where would you, I don't know. Ah boy. It would take a lot of explanation. We just have these

giant kind of like buildings and institutes where you know they pump you full of drugs. What did Marguerlord say? Said more pure than more gloror sure man is basically drugs yeah and you know like they and then they try to like the patosan I don't know I watched a couple movies on Netflix about it I don't really the great god

patosan oh is there the great god patosan you you know of patosan of course yes no well patosan is a drug on earth that speeds along for a thing. Pass through me. I'm sorry. Excuse me. I... You've offended her. Oh, no. I mean, it takes a lot to offend me, but that...

And also, you just rattle off for two minutes about birth stuff. I know. You were refused to do with us. I know. I'm sorry. Well, I get... Well, I like to talk. I mean, I'm sort of thinking about my own daughter. This is making me think of my wife and daughter. And so I was talking more about earth stuff than usual. But I'd love to hear about this great god, Patel. Oh, yes.

Well, every year, the midwives, we gather at the festival of Conalinga. And... Wow. Yes, we dance. Wonderful music. Sure. How long does the Kahnelinga last? Until we're all satisfied? Oh good, that's great.

Until we all feel like we've gotten what we want out of the festival. Great. Yes. It sounds a little exhausting. I attended one of these and I found that my lips and tongue did work tire Long before everyone satisfied. It does seem that men tend to get lost Yeah, and don't quite know where they're going often Sure at the Connolly Linger Festival sure, but um Yes, but we go in here. I feel like the Connolly Linger Festival was right here last year, but it's like it's doesn't seem to be an

Exactly the same spot. It does move. Sometimes we'll move a little bit Sometimes it's in a totally different area and all in honor of that great Lord of the soul Yes, and that that Lord of the Souls who is the great God Potosan's use the power of soul the souls who is the great God, Potosan. For a sense, they use the power of soul transference. They must honor the God. Yes, yes. So you use Potosan.

You use Potosan to enter the body of the Lord. Yes, he grants us that. Use is an ugly word. Yes, we're blessed by him. I see. To go forth with our work and enter our, let our souls enter the gift we are given by Potosan. Wow. You know, I have a question sort of about the term midwife and wife's. Like, is it always, do you only help out married women? That is, I love that question. And we are

coming a little more progressive these days, but the term is, of course, it's an older term than the actual practice that we do. Or, you know, right now, no, you don't have to be a wife. You can be a partner. Oh, I see. You can be a single woman as a matter of fact. All the single ladies? All the single ladies.

Why do you look so small? I don't know. People on Earth are laughing at me And of course, many magical beasts do not have wedding rights as we know it as uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh I'm saying you're kidding. Are you okay, Grimbal? I'm, well, I'm saying you've been a midwife to perhaps a, well, I don't know, perhaps a great blue tiger. Yes. Ooh.

I have. The most mystical and wonderful creatures in all of you. I just think you would be a wonderful assistant. I have to say it again. You just seem to have such an understanding of the... He's got kind eyes. Very kind. No one wants you to go's got kind eyes. I don't know why I'm wearing two. You're an ear that does this, I don't think.

Oh. What if, imagine this, think you're in the throes of pain, racking your body, the midwife is taking your place, has de-sold you, and then Yusidor looks upon your private area and says, baby! I can demand that you enter this world.

I demand that you stand on two or four or six, or have how many feet you have, and become a member of our wonderful society. That might be a good idea. That might be a little intense. A little intense? Yes, yes. But we could work on that because your intention is there and I like it.

Oh, well thank you very much. Yes, yes. Why don't I'm just curious? Because it sounds like you have midwift for numerous different kinds of drinks. Yes, yes. The blue tiger. The blue tiger.

I'm in. In swell. Goblins. Goblins, and goblins have like, many, many. For breads of babies, if I remember a question. Yes, yes. Really? Any vampires?

Your vampires are tricky, but yes, we have. We have for vampires. Now I don't like to choose favorites. I mean, I'll enter. My soul will enter. Whomever I'm called upon to enter, it is difficult with a vampire though. Sure. Yes, because...

Does your body reject your soul? Or what's difficult? They're trying to bite you? Sometimes I just want to sleep. But seriously, I... How is a vampire baby born? Now from my experience from Earth, we have lots of different vampire rules. I'm no way familiar with how vampires work on food.

We have a lot of different like ideas about vampires like governing principles like sometimes they because you're a racist. This would be a great time to plug the chun for a doctor. Let's go up real sick. Blood drive for vampires in need. Vampires who don't have enough strength for slinest or the whiliness to feed on their own. So J.L.A.L.A.K. that vampire cunning. Yeah. Yeah. Well, so it's from my understanding of vampire bursts on earth just from what I know from the TV series Buffy the Vampire Slayer and it's been off angel. Vampire is born by getting pregnant. The vampire woman gets pregnant through mystical means and then when she's giving birth she can't do

it because she's a vampire and gets staked and the heart disappears but then the baby is just left behind. Spoiler alert, season 3 of Angel. That was, I basically just wanted to talk about Angel for a second. Right, well, Angels are lovely to give birth to. Oh, wow. Yes. But do you want to talk about Angels? Are you willing to talk about?

No, I'm sorry. That was the very long way for me to ask, how do vampire births work? Yes, well, it is obviously always at night. There can be no light. Now, you just... It's just a little forward. Is it a vaginal birth? Is it okay that I say that? Say vaginal. It's too late if it's not.

We prefer the term birth cavity. Birth cavity? Yeah, vaginas can be... Oh, that seems very... That's sort of pejorative way of. Oh, vagina is pejor, I'm sorry. The gin is like a bad word. Stop saying. I'm sorry. Birth cavity though seems. What about baby shoots? That's beautiful. This is what I mean. I mean, you know all the terms.

We should talk. Life basket. Now, this is it. Is that good? Life basket. I don't, I mean, but like, it doesn't, like, calling it birth cavity. Yes, can you. That it can't be used for other things. What else would it be used for?

There is the birth cavity. That's where the baby is. Oh, how's stuff? I'm starting, I mean, I guess I don't know for a fact how the birds and the bees work here. Skin wallet. Birds fly through the air. They build nest sentries.

When they feel that the dark lord is ever present, they can squire with the wind and the air and the fire and the very elements and the birds cry out and they say Champion a champion to protect us all That's how birds work Bees living hives Well, you to r I think you so much for being here. I feel like I still have like a million more questions I would love to answer them all. They also buzzer out

Bees, I'm a beast though. Bees. Yeah. I by the way, I'm staying here at the Vermillion Minotaur Oh really? Yes, and I didn't know that there were there was a better room than my own. I think she's Oh, no, no, I Look, I'm married. I've got a kid. But no, I mean, he's gotten around. No, well, that was an accident. But I, like, wink. No, that's not what I'm suggesting at all.

I'm not coming on to it. Not that you're not a beautiful, lovely midwife. Careful. But what is your situation? Are you a single midwife? Are you a single midwife? Are you a married midwife? Are you a midwife life? I, well, I am currently single.

It's difficult to be married on my own because if I want to have a child, I can't enter myself. And sometimes it gets a little wonky when you have other midwives enter. So we try to say, we take a vow to Potosan that we are married to him. You are?

Yes. Yes. Makes perfect sense. Yes. I had one more question of our midwifery. Now there are certain creatures like worms or slimes that they procreate by something being split in half. Do you have anything to do with that process? No, but we do think Patosan for that.

Well, yeah, it gives you a day off. Yeah, it gives you a day off. You know, we should check in with some of our emails. If you want to ever send an email to the show, you can email us at Magic Tavern, at puppies.supplies. I know it doesn't sound like a real email address. It absolutely is. It's the only one that I could get. Let's see here. We have an email says, hey Arnie, thought you should know that your narrator is really funny But also kind of a dick and talks a lot of shit after the show is over may want to look into firing him or giving him a raise I can't decide which they're talking about you that my yes, that must be you. No, I don't I don't really know what the dick and should be fired

No, that's not bad. Thank you choo choo, but no, I don't know what that's about. Maybe there's probably some ad role thing or something I don't know that's going on on the other side, but thank you. Why would you know how your show works? I don't I don't know. I can't listen to it. I can upload it, but I can't listen to it. The firewall from the Burger King. It's confusing. Here's another one real quick. Hi guys, first I'm wrenchy. I'm sorry if I'm mispronouncing that and my two younger brothers I'm sorry if I'm mispronouncing that. And my two younger brothers, we are all an appropriate age to be listening in, and I absolutely love this podcast. Does Foon have any glowing trees? I love glowing trees.

Well, of course they're glowing trees. They're trees of every color of the rainbow. They're some that glow in the dark. They're some that glow in the day, but you can't tell. Oh, so you have to ask them. Talk to them for at least 25 minutes. And they don't answer, you can chop them down. Oh, I got a couple of emails here.

Of course you're gonna email me at chant. At gmail.com that's chant with 60s. This email is from Julius says, chants night. Hi chant, I was wondering if you could make Arnie do a chants night episode. Well, well, well, well. I don't know what she means by episode. I'm sure if he knows that the, I'm sure if he knows that the people on earth are interested in learning about what goes down on Chun's Knight, that he would be happy to oblige while you're dead wrong, Julie.

She also says, yes, if for whatever reason you need earth talent for Chun's Knight, let me know and I can sort of tap dance. You have tap dancing in Finn? No, I don't know what that is. I also have a new email here. This is from, it says from Chant Badger. It says from Chant Badger. I assume a tap dance would be where you try to get maple syrup out of a tree while you dance.

Oh, we have that. This email says wrong address. It says, hello, I keep on receiving emails that I think must be for you. It's very strange too. Can you please make sure your friends know your correct email address. Thanks, Carol Hunt. It says, Carol Hunt works for six T's custom screen printing, for work, for family reunions, for fun. Oh, so I don't know what that's about.

Hey, just, it's very easy to get emails to the wrong address. I don't want to talk about earth stuff. But you know what, Chuck, look, I don't know if I'm putting myself out there too much. I do, I'm sorry if I'm being a dick. I do really want to be a friend. Oh, wow. I'm sorry I haven't been to Chuck's night where I come from on earth. You know, I've done, I've done, you know, hundreds of improv shows and most of them.

No, no sound exhaust, I don't know what that is, but it sounds exhausting. I know. And, you know, I'm just used to people not going to them. So, I'm sorry if it hurts your feelings that I've never been to Chums. Well, I appreciate your apology. And I just want to let you know I will accept it if you wouldn't mind doing it in a Joe Pesci voice. Uh, uh, eh. Eh, I'm sorry. What do I look like? Cloud, do you?

I forgive you. Thank you. And I'm sorry if I was overly aggressive with you. You're a good friend. And I hope you can make it to a chance. We'll see. What the fuck is it? Now, does improv, is that word short for improvisation?

It is, actually. I have to do it in amps. No, but it means to make up something on the fly. Very quickly, I want one's feet to improvise is to, in the last moment, in the clutches, when it's really crunched high. Oh, no. Then you have to come up with a solution to in the last moment, in the clutches, when it's really crunched high. Oh no.

Then you have to come up with a solution when questing a wizard as myself has to improvise and find my way out of tricky situations. So why on earth do you think someone would want to come and watch that? I feel like I'd like to be invited to an improv show. It seems like something I would love to have. No, it's like a key part of my life, too.

Really? On earth, it's like you've been cursed with an invite to an improv show. I feel like I'd love those like every day all day. Oh no, okay. Hey, please invite John Deere improv shows. Email me at johnadjime.com, let's chat with 60s and invite me to all your improv shows. It sounds terrible to me, but you can contact me at appusador.theblue on Twitter twitter where you can send me a twat

and then I shall respond or I might not. Twat is an acceptable term. I think. Here's the moment where I convince you none of that really happened. Some days I find it difficult to keep this moment fresh and exciting, but rest assured this was only sad human actors trying to distract themselves from the fact that they haven't prepared for retirement. Usador was played by Matt Young, who coincidentally is getting older every day.

Shunt was played by Adel Ruffai. Uther Iver Midwife was played by special guest Nikki Margolis. Nikki is an alum of the second city in Chicago and mother of two human children. She's not on social media, but check out her husband's comic strip, Bunny, at Bunnycomic.com. That's B-U-N-I, comic.com. The unconventional spelling means it's etgy. Bungery Chobbins was played by Tom Gottlieb. Hello from the Magic Tavern is produced by Arnie Neekampe, Evan Jacoba and Ryan DeGeorgie, edited by Ryan DeGeorgie, music by Andy Poland. Hello from the Magic Tavern logo by Allard

LeBan. Learn more about the show and ascertain for yourself that there's no possibility it could be actually occurring at hellofromthemagictavern.com or follow us on Twitter at Magic Tavern. Are you looking at your bare chest and thinking I'm in a real pickle? Well, cover it up with a hello from the Magic Tavern t-shirt. There's even a shirt featuring user doors, needlessly self-indulgent long name, as well as a chants up with that t-shirt. Raise your hand if you're surprised that that's become a thing.

My hand is raised. Get your hello from the Magic Tavern t-shirt at nrberties.com today. All of this improvised comedy time wasting was brought to you by Know Your Company with help from the Chicago Podcast Cooperative. Learn more about Know Your Company at KnowYourCompany.com and the Chicago Podcast Cooperative at Chicago Podcast Co-op, wait for it. Dotcom.