Hello From The Magic Tavern - 37 - Tannakin the Pinglet
Episode Date: November 13, 2015I was trying to teach Usidore the Earth phrase "when pigs fly." One thing lead to another and I met this week's guest.CreditsArnie: Arnie NiekampChunt: Adal RifaiUsidore: Matt YoungTannakin: ...Sarah FineoutOtok Barleyfoot: Nick BaerMysterious Man: Tim SniffenCraig: Ryan DiGiorgiProducers: Arnie Niekamp, Evan Jacover, Ryan DiGiorgiEditor: Chris RathjenTheme Music: Andy PolandMagic Tavern Logo: Allard LabanYou can support the show directly and receive bonus episodes and rewards by joining our Patreon at https://www.patreon.com/magictavern for only $5 per month. Follow us on Twitter and Instagram, and now Patreon!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Since his death in 2009, the world has struggled with how Michael Jackson should be remembered,
as the King of Pop, or as a monster.
The new podcast Think Twice, Michael Jackson, offers a fresh perspective on the art and
the artist, his life, his work, and his legacy.
Listen to Think Twice, Michael Jackson, wherever you get your podcasts.
Academy is a new scripted podcast that follows Ava Richards, a brilliant scholarship student
attending Bishop Gray Academy, the and Ad-Free on Wondering Plus. Oh, I'm still not sure I can survive my Tricia-related injuries from last week.
Keep it together, you can do this.
The following podcast is not real, but it is really sponsored by Ater Nonsense.
Ever wondered what it's like to see your friend orgasm or take a poop?
Reveal these mysteries and more with the Chicago-born party game utter nonsense.
Currently available at Target stores nationwide. Hello from the Magic Tavern!
A weekly podcast from the magical land of fune, I'm your host, Arnie Neacamp.
If you're new to the podcast, this is essentially the backstory of what's going on. Over a half a year ago, I fell through a
dimensional rift behind a Burger King in Chicago and I fell into the magical land of Foon. Luckily,
I'm still getting a slight Wi-Fi signal from the Burger King through the dimensional portal and I
use that to upload a podcast. I record every week here in the Vermilion Minotaur, a tavern in the town of Hogsface, in the
world of Foon, and I'm joined as always by my co-host.
I am you, so yeah, I gotta get out of here.
Where's the blue?
Come back here.
I'm not going to...
Come back.
Hmm, chent, please.
Come back.
I'm chent, I'm a shape shifter.
I am you, so no.
I am you, so no.
I am you, so no.
I am you, so no.
I am you, so no. I am you, so no. I am you, so no. I am you, so no. I am you to the twelfth realm of Ephesius, master of light and shadow, manipulative of magical lights, devourer of chaos, trappin' of the white holes of the rockets!
The elves know me as fiend, y'all like feline, zelegue, the dwarves know me as stolen, who sang cheese, the vampires know me as Anthony Don Walker, the wedding planner. Dog Walker. As Dale sprinkles sleeves.
Sprinkles, please.
For Ruff, no me as Johann Sebastian Bacherock.
And yes, there may be other names you do not know on any camp.
And if you sit so far away, this is never know them.
Yeah, even the baker's no me as biscuit menisks.
Are you done?
Yes.
No.
What?
That seemed to take longer than usual.
Well, it's going to get longer and longer
the more you run away.
All right, well, use that time to think.
I'm still not sure.
I feel like it's a cop out to go back to Huba's tank,
but there's no question that Feline Zellik
is not working out.
I will continue to ponder it.
Wow, that's some great self-policing on your terrible jokes.
Wow, okay.
I'm impressed with you having some self-work.
It's for once.
I'm really trying to...
Oh, it's a joke.
I think so, he said it's a joke,
so I just need that at face value.
I thought you were just being rude.
There's probably a little bit of both.
Probably a little bit of both.
But how have you guys been?
Sean, how have you been?
What do you even up to?
Doing well, doing well.
Chuchu's chow is getting off the ground.
That's right, the restaurant that you've started
with the Yusador.
Yep.
We have started.
Yeah, we just thought about,
we wanted to start offering some delivery.
So we've been experimenting a little bit.
We thought at first to maybe have Yusador create
some tiny forces to like drag the food to people,
so like they could, you they could run it out.
But then the food got dirty.
Yeah.
So we decided to try used to doorknate drunk and try to make the food for a short time come alive.
So it could walk itself.
Exactly.
And here I'll show you, I got a potato here, a spiced potato that we tried tried this on it, and you can tell it's just sort of softly screaming.
Oh, it's kind of a botched...
It's not funny at all, you store the button.
Oh my god.
I can't wait to eat that potato.
So I have...
No, I'm holding on to this one.
This one's my friend.
I call it gorgeous.
Sean, I don't know that I necessarily want to know the answer to this, but I can already
sense the emails that we're going to get asking this question because
a high percentage of the emails we get are people just trying to figure out
Can you have sex with a potato?
Yes, every obscure rule of your shape shifting. If you were to have sex with a sentient piece of food, what would happen?
I can honestly say I've never done that, I do not know do you want me to?
No, no, this is my friend gorgeous. That's just a potato is my friend gorgeous. Yeah, I call it gorgeous
Starting
This is a direction that this is heading in no, I'm there's nothing. It's not like that guys
It's just a I feel bad for this potato and I want to have some positive reinforcement. So I call it good.
Look at the screen.
Oh boy, Chun's going to have pretty sex with this first potato.
Probably.
Yeah.
Well you know what?
No, I'm not talking about the sentient potato.
It can hear you.
Oh sorry.
I'll put it away.
Alright.
Fantastic.
Well you know what?
Well let's get to our guest.
I'm very excited to welcome.
We have a tiny, like a tiny flying pig named Tanagan.
Is that right?
Yeah, Tanagan.
Hi, you guys.
Hey, Tan Tan.
Hey.
Hello, Tanagan.
Thanks so much for having me.
Can I call you Tan Tan?
Yeah, you can call me Tan Tan.
That's pretty fun.
I just want to say just for our listeners,
just a paint a picture, you're kind of like,
what on my world would we call a micro pig sort of, and
you've got these sort of beautiful sort of fluffy wings coming out of your bag.
It's pretty adorable, I gotta say.
Thank you, yeah, here I'm known as a piglet.
We're pretty rare here too.
Oh really?
Yeah, a piglet.
Yes, they only live in a small village together in the southwest parts of food.
Wow.
Yes, very few of them left after the great pink door wars.
Oh, no.
Yes, yes.
Yeah, not a lot of us leave.
Yeah, you have that right, but I chose to.
I wanted to see the city.
Oh, traveling all over.
Oh, wonderful.
Are you good for you?
Are you new to Hogsville? Oh, brand new. This is
amazing. Everything's so big. So many people. This is really exciting for me. Wow. You're just a small
town panglet in the big city. Yeah. What? Why are you smiling? I don't know. It's like you're a
panglet in the city. It's just funny to me. People on earth don't think it's funny. Yeah, he always says that we have no way of verifying it. I have my doubts
So so pinguette what is your life like in the Southwest of fume with your other
Pinguette brethren. Oh, I have so many brothers and sisters. We play we fly we giggle
We love to dance. Oh, I'm a big fan of games
What are some I play like watertown with my dad. What are some like a Pinuit game?
It's like, can you teach us a Pinuit game?
Oh sure.
You know any like simple ones?
Oh yeah, yeah.
Do you have a small like a very, very small sphere?
A small sphere?
Because we can.
I have a screaming potato with that small oval.
Can you find your small sphere?
I would be a happy true.
To the thought. To the thought.
Oh.
Come, shame, butting, cute.
Oh, wow, wow.
Oh, my God, that's perfect.
This is perfect.
Okay, so I'm going to roll it to you, Arnie.
Okay.
And then you're going to choose who you want to roll it to.
Okay.
Look at her, you.
Wow.
Okay, good. So I have this, like, she's forging for truffles. Oh, well, and I want to roll it to. Okay. Look at her use a roll-snow. Okay, great.
So I have this like, she's forging for truffles.
Oh, well, and so now I just...
You just now, all right.
My snout?
Yes, you just now, all right.
Play the game correctly.
Roode.
Look at this idiot.
Oh, wonderful, excellent.
Two pigs playing a game.
What the, hey!
Put on a little bit of weight.
And now, Chant, I'll roll it to you. Okay. I'm gonna go and take this big plane of game. What the hey! Put on a little bit of weight.
And now, Chant, I'll roll it to you.
Okay.
And I'll roll it to you, Cedore.
And I shall set to the flame!
No!
Okay, while game over.
Wow, that was great.
I can make another one.
Well, since you missed it, you have to fly around the farm.
I have to fly around the farm.
Being with rules.
Alright, here I go!
Wow!
Wow!
Amazing!
This is fun!
Wow, that's the most magic I've seen all of you.
Wow!
You've seen it all the time.
Oh, it's exhausting.
Can we, I mean, welcome to Hogsface,
welcome to the Vermilion minutes tour.
Thank you, it's beautiful.
Thank you.
I mean, I didn't build it, but thank you.
I'll take ownership. Can we get you a drink? Yes what I'm saying. That's what I'm saying. That's what I'm saying.
That's what I'm saying.
That's what I'm saying.
That's what I'm saying.
That's what I'm saying.
That's what I'm saying.
That's what I'm saying.
That's what I'm saying.
That's what I'm saying.
That's what I'm saying.
That's what I'm saying.
That's what I'm saying.
That's what I'm saying.
That's what I'm saying.
That's what I'm saying.
That's what I'm saying.
That's what I'm saying.
That's what I'm saying.
That's what I'm saying.
That's what I'm saying.
That's what I'm saying. That's what I'm saying. That's what I'm saying. That's what I'm saying. That's what I'm saying. That's what I'm saying. That's what I'm saying. That's what I'm saying. That's what I'm saying. That's what I'm saying. That's what I'm saying. That's what I'm saying. That's what I'm saying. That's what I'm saying. That's what I'm saying. That's what I'm saying. That's what I'm saying. That's what I'm saying. That's what I'm saying. That's what I'm saying. That's what I'm saying. That's what I'm saying. That's what I'm saying. That Can I get you anything? Yes, actually I would love a little bit of a do-drop.
Oh yeah, yeah.
Just maybe like half a drop.
Bought it, I did it!
Some fresh raw product.
Lead to get.
Do it!
Oh, Jesus.
Oh, thank gosh.
I'm sorry.
This is so loud.
Blamish was giving me the stink eye.
So, so, so, so, Pinglet.
Yeah.
What thing do you want to come to the big city?
Well, it's kind of sad. Oh
Your child that's my child. Sorry, I did what what's your sir? No, I don't have a dead child
That sounds very sad. Yeah, if you do
Maybe I can hear about it later and we can cry together. No, I'm here because we're being hunted
What?
Apparently people like to eat penguins.
Oh.
My brothers and sisters and I are being hunted.
Mm-hmm.
And so I escaped.
That is terrible.
I've never eaten penguins, but Arnie, I guess the best way I've heard it described is like the most delicious bacon you've ever had.
Hey.
The most-
That's just how I've heard it described.
I will say on my world people eat animals that are sort of similar to penglets,
and it's very good.
It should not eat a panglet, though. It's a sentient bean.
Yeah, that's true, and you don't pigg or hog.
That's fine.
Well, you know, they say the pigs and hogs are smarter than dogs, so...
Are dogs smart?
I mean, well... Have you even seen a dog in food?
I haven't seen a dog in food.
Shut up.
All right.
Can we help it all?
Can we?
Yeah, I have a fund that I'm setting up to help raise money
to get all my brothers and sisters into the city,
so we can start living happy, fulfilling lives.
Yeah, of course.
I mean, I have a friend who owns a little sort of hostile.
It's made a straw, so I don't know if that's ideal, but I'm sure a few of you could fit in there.
Sure, sure, no, straw sounds great.
Yeah, I don't, I look, I'm just gonna say, if you want to be safe, the
Pinguilin should protect themselves in a house made of at least sticks.
You fools.
There's but one option for these penglets. I, Yusudor, shall find and abode for you,
made of the strongest brick, so that you may be protected from wolves and hunters and all
sorts of elements of nature. Elements such as Yusudor himself, rot in to this world,
by the birds that wish to save the world from the dark lord.
I, all of Thunis and Danger, and Yusudor must gather his forces together to fight the dark lord.
Only he can save us all.
Yes, I'm referring to myself in the third buzzer now, but so be it, if that's what it takes to defeat the dark lord!
That sounds nice.
Yes.
Oh, here's your half a dew drop.
Oh, thank you.
I have to say, when you drink, it's the cutest.
I mean, this one.
I don't mean to be kind of sending it.
It's the most adorable thing ever.
Oh, oh, that's so nice.
It's very cute.
And I say that with all the respect of a wizard.
Wow, thank you so everyone in this city is so nice.
Oh, it's our, oh, here, let me, you look, I know there's a bit of a draft on.
I'm just going to wrap you in this blanket.
Oh, I know. So I think you open this blanket. Is that good? Is that good? Oh, it's our play oh here. Let me you look it's I know there's a bit of a draft on just gonna wrap you in this blanket Oh, so I think you open this
I think I think Trump maybe try to lay some game. I don't I don't know
Can you listen it a little my wings?
Feel a little yeah, I don't want to make you
I got that potato and a piglet. I don't know what he's so what I'm so sorry. What was hunting you?
What's hunting you? Oh?
Witches witches
Witches we call them bitches. Yeah, what we do to
Does bitches mean the same thing and food as it does it means a bad witch? Oh, yeah
Yeah, just replace the W with a B. Uh-huh. We're normally very nice penglets
But we're very angry at the
Witches which attacks've been calling them bitches.
That's not uncommon for the word bad to be put in front of something in-firm to be put together.
Many of the patrons of the Fermillion Minotaur here have sartain badonny, and that's been shortened to Barney!
Oh, no.
Everyone calls you Barney.
Yeah, bye.
And you're back.
Don't let them know I told you.
All right, fair enough.
So which is our after you is,
so how can we contribute this fun
to help out the penguins?
It's called Save the Penglets.
That's a perfect thing for that.
You know what you're getting into.
Oh, thank you.
Perfect.
Yeah, so perfect.
I don't know about perfect.
What I say, you can mail any type of support that you'd like to give.
We love food, jewels, coins, anything like that that might help us get to the city maps.
It took me a long time to find this little town here.
Sure.
I have a question for you, Tanikin.
So your plan is to get the penguins to Hobbsface.
And you feel like you'll be safe for here amongst more people?
Yeah, so far everyone's been super nice.
If I saw which coming into Hobbsface, I would certainly defeat it in a bit of magical battle.
Which is far lower on the magical spectrum than our true wizard.
I just gotta say that if you guys taste as delicious as you're suggesting that maybe you want to stay away from
I believe in the inherent goodness of all people. I don't believe in the inherent goodness of the people at this table
Yeah, cuz you've got to fucking me. Hey, whoa bun to hold on. You're being a Barney. All right, be Arnie. Come on fight the good fight
Yeah, this little bit this this little penguin here should be able
to do what she wants.
She should be able to, this little penguin should be able
to go to the market.
This little penguin should have to go,
we, we, we, all the way back to her home.
What was, like, what does that mean?
Go, we, we, we, all the way home.
It's like the noise I think they make.
Is that the noise?
Oh yeah, when we fly.
Yeah, there's that.
I'm doing a little trip around the town.
Yeah, great. We're way, way, way we fly. Yeah, because they're excited. We're still a little trip around the temple. Yeah, that's great.
We're going away from the lake.
They will do that all the way home.
All the way home.
So it helps keep them afloat.
Are you hungry?
Would you like some roast beef?
Roast beef.
Or this little penguin will have none?
I'll have none, please.
OK, I don't get what you're having.
People on earth. You don't think what you said made sense when you stopped Okay, I don't get what you're... People on earth.
You don't, you think what you said made sense?
I'm just talking. I don't know what you're saying.
Okay, you seem to have an agenda.
No, well...
Well, I don't know what roast beef is,
which is the reason I declined.
Perhaps I should be more in the interest.
Oh, are you a vegetarian?
Do you?
Yeah, what do you think let's eat?
Think let's mostly eat dandelions.
Oh...
Dandelion. Wild weeds.
Despicable plant.
The lowest of the flowers.
They never speak at all.
You need not speak to it for 20 minutes.
For you know, it is not sentient.
Disgusting plant.
Wasted vegetable.
Eat all the dandelions you wish.
There's nothing I hate more than a
dandelion you said are you you're really you're really extra worked up today
a little bit all right well but maybe I need a drink you're really angry about
dandelions I know you tell me I am angry about dandelions have you ever seen a
more disgusting weed in all of your days?
I just don't feel like another drink is gonna make things better.
Don't worry, I know what I'm doing.
No, no.
You know what, let's take a quick break.
Uh, it will be right back.
We'll talk, we'll learn a little bit more about Tanik and his thing.
I know my own limits!
This is Otak Barleyfoot, provider of the Vermillion Minotaur.
Here to give you your rumor of the week.
Rumor has it that an echromancer has moved into the old cranback place.
So um, look out ladies.
That's our rumor of the week.
For another rumor please come on down to the Vermillion Minotaur, purchase yourself a
meat or an ale or any other fine beverage, and you will receive a rumor with it.
Vermillion Minotaur, I'm the Kings Road, at the base of the fine beverage, and you will see a rumor with it. For a million minutes or five, the King's Road
at the base of Mixingham Chain Force.
The
The
You'll have to excuse you, Zoriz, just a...
PMS.
What does that mean here?
It's something...
It's wizards every once in a while, they'll have a powerful magic Seathing, so they just kind of like get an orange.
Powerful magic, see that.
Okay.
What are you talking about?
Nothing.
Oh.
I'm starting to get a little bit scared.
Yeah, right?
She's trembling, see her.
Look at her, here.
Let me put another blanket on you.
Oh, absolutely.
Presses serious.
So many.
Thank you.
Oh, I feel so much better. little pink lip and my little blanket.
Oops, I left the toothpick in that one, I'm so sorry.
Oh, oh.
My apologies, Tenkin.
You have been a delightful guest and are a lovely bean, and I would love to help you
in your quest to save your brethren and your sisterhood.
And here, this is my donation from my pouch.
I reach in and I give you a rock.
Oh, wow, so heavy.
Hold that rock, push it with your little stout,
and make a wish.
Oh, all right.
Hold it and push it.
It's supposed to put it in.
Start putting it on top of it. I'm holding it, it and push it. It's supposed to put it in. Start putting it in.
I'm holding it.
Yeah, I'm holding it.
I'm pushing it.
Push it.
Do I say my wish out loud?
No, do not say the wish out loud or will not come true.
Oh, right.
Also, it will not come true.
Shut up.
Use the right.
Die, said shut up.
OK.
Do you know what I'm going through right now?
Hi.
Oh, sorry.
I'm sorry.
Please make your wish.
Oh. Oh, sorry. I'm sorry. Please make your wish.
Ooh, I can tell it's something good.
I don't know yet. Time will tell.
I really, I really want to ask what I've written.
Really? What she hadn't told her, not to tell us what her wish was.
Well, they won't come true if she says it aloud, but I also made her curious.
Do you have any, because I'd love to help you find a job?
Or, I also run a talent night? So do you have any talents? Or do you do you have anything you could do for work?
Well, like I said, I'd love to dance. Oh
Can you do you mind showing us how you dance? Oh, yeah, not at all not at all
I just give up on the table. I put you up on the
You unwrap my
Yeah, I like it. Thank you
I'd love to dance with you, but these robes, I'm a little bloated right now.
Here, why don't you stand up on two legs and I'm just going to put this one around you like a little skirt?
Oh, how fancy, swish, swish! You want it? Let's just have you dance, dance, dance, dance, dance, dance, dance, dance, dance, dance, dance, dance, dance, dance, dance, dance, dance, dance, dance, dance, dance, dance, dance, dance, dance, dance, dance, dance, dance, dance, dance, dance, dance, dance, dance, dance, dance, dance, dance, dance, dance, dance, dance, dance, dance, dance, dance, dance, dance, dance, dance, dance, dance, dance, dance, dance, dance, dance, dance, dance, dance, dance, dance, dance, dance, dance, dance, dance, dance, dance, dance, dance, dance, dance, dance, dance, dance, dance, dance, dance, dance, dance, dance, dance, dance, dance, dance, dance, dance, dance, dance, dance, dance, dance, dance, dance, dance, dance, dance, dance, dance, dance, dance, dance, dance, dance, dance, dance, dance, dance, dance, dance, dance, dance, dance, dance, dance, dance, dance, dance, dance, dance, dance, dance, dance, dance, dance, dance, dance, dance, dance, dance, dance, dance, dance, dance, dance, dance, dance, dance, dance, dance, dance, dance, dance, dance, dance, dance, dance, dance, dance, dance, dance, dance, dance, dance, dance, dance, dance, dance, dance, dance, dance, dance, dance, dance, dance, dance, dance, dance, dance, dance, dance, dance, dance, dance, dance, dance, dance, dance, dance, dance, dance, dance. Dance, King with dance. King with the power. Which king with the power?
The king with the power. Ha, ha a drop of two, I'll leave please.
And six ails.
Six ails.
Two of you.
And Chuck, thank you.
So, Penguin, do you have any aspirations?
Like in the city, like is there anything you want to do
for work or?
Yeah, yeah, I'm definitely looking for work.
I need to send money back home.
So I'd like to try and get into, sorry. maybe be a choreographer or you know something in the dance world
I'm sure I feel the most comfortable yeah we just saw that was my eventually
maybe putting up my own production maybe like a kind of a competition that
happens in in reality perhaps okay like a reality competition. Oh really? Yeah, that everybody can partake in if they're if they enjoy dancing, you know
Maybe just have people against each other to do jigs. Yeah, and in food a lot of competitions happen in people's minds
It's kind of fantastical like people make spells. We're competing, but it's not it's they're just kind of sitting on their chair
You know, huh? You should be familiar with that
Well, at least the last part. Yeah, I do sit on their chair, you know? You should be familiar with that. Well, at least the last part.
Yeah, I do so in this chair.
So that would be a reality, like a real competition.
Exactly, exactly.
Something that's...
I get into the show.
And then, if people didn't want to dance,
maybe they could cast their vote for the best dancer.
Oh, let's come up with a name.
Maybe it's title like, yeah. Hey, you wanna dance?
Hey.
Yeah.
Dance partner, dance-y.
Show us your skills that dance-y,
or die in a fiery pit of death.
How about ping-let's dance?
Oh, I like it.
Yeah, so you make her on, yeah.
What a cleavage and a it. Yeah, she made a clever honor. Yeah. What a delivery turn of phrase.
Yeah.
You use the last part of what she is
to become a part of the sentence you were following.
Yeah.
That was wonderful.
Yeah, it's sort of a part man too.
Maybe not.
Probably not.
Probably.
Mm-hmm.
Perhaps the three of you could be my first guests
on the show.
Hey, you know what?
I've never seen Chant Dance.
I've never seen you dance.
Yo, you want to get up on table?
Yeah, there you go.
Hold on, hold on.
That's clapping.
Let me put gorgeous down.
Let me put gorgeous down.
Look at it, it's screaming.
And let me just, can you hear me that cardboard that's behind you?
Oh, yes, of course.
I'm going to put this cardboard down here.
And I'm going to do a little dance in here.
Here we go.
OK.
Oh, whoa. Oh, whoa.
Whoa.
Oh, my.
So stuck onto it.
Wow, I really, I wish we had video of this.
Oh, yeah.
Wow.
That was incredible.
Drop one of them.
Yeah.
Oh, it's amazing.
Now it's, have you get up on a table and?
Now it's use the doors turn.
Now already you pop up on a table.
Oh, I don't know if the table can handle that.
Oh boy.
How about here?
I'll dance in my chair.
I won't get up on the table.
This is kind of how I dance in my world.
It's usually in my car and just sort of listen to the radio.
My arms are at the watch.
OK.
Listening to you sing a song you would maybe sing.
That's the kind of music that is... This is almost identical to the music that you just did.
Yeah, that's my favorite song. What's your favorite song?
Be original, I think.
We like the same music.
And then I would just have my hands on the wheel at sort of 10 and 2.
And just kind of like move my shoulders a little bit.
Are you okay?
Yeah, I'm just dancing.
It looks like you're having a stroke.
No, that's my dance.
Next.
Oh.
Use it up.
Prepare to be amazed.
Whoa, laser cross.
Oh, my eye!
Oh, my eye!
Whoa!
Oh, whoa! Wow, my eye! Oh my eye! Oh, whoa!
My eye works well.
It's like a big flood concert.
It's like a flying thing and everything.
Oh, that's incredible.
What's the fun? Big, cool.
Oh, it's...
You okay, Yusudor?
Yes, I'm fine.
You've had a lot to drink.
I haven't had enough to drink. Ah! Oh, you said no.
You know, I'm kind of curious about what these ails taste like.
Maybe I could have a little sip?
Yeah, here mine.
Did you get mine with riceberry?
Of course.
Here you go.
Just have a little sip of that.
We'll just put your...
maybe a little trough for you?
Oh, I...
Listen to you drink all day.
Ah?
Whoa! Whoa! Oh, you fell over. It's my... Oh, that listen to you drink all day. Oh? Whoa. Whoa.
Oh, you fell over.
Oh, that's delicious.
He's getting your drunk.
Oh, I don't think I'll have anymore.
Okay.
But that was delicious.
Wow.
You know, you should probably take it easy.
In all things in the big city, I just want to, I, look, I don't want to be pessimistic
or anything.
I'm just, I'm just suggesting caution when you're in the big city.
Okay.
These are words of wisdom that Arnold speaks to you now.
For one must be careful in the city,
when there are dangers around every corner,
agents of the dark, Lord, looming,
with their yellow eyes staring out at you
from between fences and bits of grass where they're hiding,
low down, sometimes they're like, crouched, behind there, you're like,
oh there's your eyes, don't know.
There's a lot of sneaky bitches out there.
Yeah, you gotta watch out.
Well so far everybody I've met has seemed really nice, I'm not too worried.
Have you met Mundle the Grondle?
Hmm, can't say that I can.
Well, watch out.
Oh, it's Tannikin' out of a family name.
Mm-hmm.
Most of the women in my family are named Tannikin'.
Oh, yeah.
Does it mean anything?
Um, you know, I have no idea.
It's very honest to me.
Yeah.
Oh, so your mother's name is Tannikin'.
Yes, my mother's name is Tannikin' all my sisters,
and then if you're born and male in my family,'s name is Tannocket. Yes, my mother's name is Tannocket and all my sisters. And then if you're born a male in my family,
your name is Balfazard.
Oh wow.
So if your mom is like Tannocket, come here.
Mm-hmm.
Oh gosh.
Oh yeah, I'll do all the women in the family.
Well, you can just tell, like context clues.
Oh, okay.
So if you're trying to be more specific,
like if you're out flying in the sky,
someone would be like Tannocket and Skywalker, get in here sky, someone would be like, Tanik and Skywalker get in here.
It's just Earth people are laughing at them right now.
Yeah, no, yeah, if one of us is flying,
perhaps that would be, yeah, we would know.
You don't have to be there.
I'm just being nice.
Okay, don't you bother.
Well, Pinglet, thank you so much for joining us.
I'm really excited.
I hope that you can do some good
and help all of your
Pinglet brethren and sister.
Yeah, thank you so much for having me and again if you'd like to donate any goods to save the
Pinglets you can send them my way. You can send them via
Carrier Birds or
You can also shoot them out of magic cannons.
Oh, how is a magic cannon work?
Like, if someone puts money in a magic cannon,
will it just find its way to you?
You just didn't let it know the destination,
and you know, it'll find where you want to send your object.
Oh, wow, that's fantastic.
Also, I talked to my, I ran over my friend,
Pizza Skull, who's sitting in the back there.
He's the giant skull in the back.
And he said that if you need to,
you can stay inside his ice socket for as long as you need.
Oh, that's so nice.
You got place?
Yeah.
That's so nice.
Thank you.
I'll have to maybe put a blanket in there or something.
Yeah, absolutely.
China, have you got any emails lately?
Bet your ass I have.
Oh, wow.
Let's see here.
These are emails to chantedgeema.com that's chanted with six teas.
This one is from Jerry Fox here.
Hi, chanted. Hey, you said, or are you guys rock? Arnie's okay, too, I guess This one is from Jerry Fox here. Hi Chont, hey you guys, so door you guys rock.
Arnie's okay too, I guess.
I like this guy's awesome.
I just wanted you guys to know you're awesome and cool.
And whenever Arnie claims that Earth is loving this
after one of his weakest references,
I'm always right.
He's lying.
Oh.
Good luck on your cooking endeavor.
Love Jerry Fox.
P.S.
I knew it.
P.S. I wish I could sex you up Chont,
but my last name doesn't mean anything. I'm not a real Fox. I just P.S. I knew it. P.S. I wish I could six you up, Chuck, but my last name doesn't mean anything.
I'm not a real fox.
I just had strange ancestors.
Do the Chantal Shuffle, Chuck, please.
Wow, it's quite a long P.S.
You hear a lot of, like, emails worth of stuff in there.
What's a Chantal Shuffle?
I don't know.
I mean, I dance.
I did a little.
Sounds like a dance move to me.
I have to start calling what I did.
The Chantal Shuffle.
I will say that people on earth ain't loving it.
Take that, Jerry Fox.
Nice one.
And then I have another email here from Aerial Abrahams.
Aerial says, hi Chunch, you are so cool.
Do you DJ?
Can you DJ my bar?
Mytes?
They.
Can you DJ my bar, Mytes?
They. What's up?
Boy, that's a lot to explain.
So basically, may I handle this one on?
Sure, please.
I believe you're mispronouncing, bomb its five.
Oh, bomb its so we have juice and food.
Yeah, that's right, they're juice and food.
So what is a DJ?
Well, yeah, what is a DJ bar?
Well, a DJ is like a disc jockey.
What that means is they play music off of these sort of wax cylinders and basically they
just entertain.
They ride wax cylinders.
No, no, they play them.
You said jockey.
No, they...
Oh, God.
Errol, I will say I can entertain.
Yeah, I can entertain.
So yeah, let me know one and where and I'll be there.
Great. So I've also gotten a few emails.
As always, you can send emails to me at MagicTaver
and at puppies.supplies.
It is a real email address.
Again, I get numerous emails,
simply asking if it's real.
It is, I can't respond to all of them,
but just trust me.
Great, is there any emails that are there?
No, but here, okay, here's one.
Hello, Arnie, this is a question for Yusidor and Chunt.
Oh, wonderful.
In the full name of Yusidor, the part that Arnie always pronounces as Huba Stank, it says
Zonenin Hukes, Hukes Stangies.
Now there are two earth words, more specifically from the Kingdom of the Netherlands.
Is it safe to assume that
dwarves speak the earth language of Dutch? If so, how did that language reach them? Greetings
from the Kingdom of the Netherlands, Dave Martinez. And there's no name that sounds more Dutch
than Dave Martinez.
I'll have to take your word for that. I'm not familiar with the Dutch people or the language. Zonen in who Extangies is as far as I know, a dwarven word, who Extangies means scraper
of the bottom of the river.
Well that's right, that is true.
And I'm sorry Dave, I just have to take your word for it that it sounds like two Dutch
words.
Although yeah, right in and let us know exactly what those two Dutch words mean. Alright, here's another email. Every time I hear your
theme, I keep thinking you should interspersed clips from the show into it like
cereal or black tapes does. Like pipes, pipes, chun, well I had sex with a spider.
Beep, pipes, pipes, use the door. We must defeat the dark lord. Pipes, pipes,
beat, flower. I don't know, it just feels good to get drunk.
I'm paraphrasing and I'm a little tipsy right now,
but I think you get the point.
So I guess he wants us, or he or she wants us to add
a little, have us talking during the music.
Although not me.
It's, I'm going to be honest.
I didn't understand most of that email.
Oh, so I think that during the music,
the chunk they want you to say,
well, I had sex with the spider.
But do you want to say that now?
No, because that was years ago.
Okay, fair enough.
And you, sir, would say, we must have beat the Dark Lord.
Well, but that's true.
All right, and then flour would say,
I don't know where flour is right now.
What can people, let's say?
Well, ping-la isn't necessarily going to be here next week.
Well, let's have her say something.
All right, look, we'll talk.
Well, ping-la, what would you want to say?
Hmm, I love to dance.
Let's see.
That's pretty good.
That isn't pretty good one.
That's great.
Ping-la, are you going to be around Hogsface for a while?
I hope so.
I've got so much more of this place to explore.
That's fantastic.
Well, alright, how about this next week.
During the opening theme, we'll try to do some kind of audio clips.
What if I say something that's typically used to door like
wobba wobba baby!
Wobba wobba baby!
You're like those things I say all the time.
Okay, sure, fair enough.
Yeah, all right.
Oh, look at the food!
Oh!
Well, one thing we can be certain of?
No, with the pain!
I can't!
I can't find new ways to tell the listeners this podcast isn't real!
Craig!
Greg!
I need you!
You have to help spread misinformation and throw in something about usadors lack lustre performance!
Uh, uh, okay, uh, so none of that was, none of that was real, right?
It was all made up, and I'm not just saying that at the request of a dying quasi-human
that scares me.
The used to door the wizard was portrayed by Matt Young.
If you'd like to see him to prove that he is real and this podcast is not real,
please visit shortofweek.com and search for speed dating.
Speed dating is a short animated film that features Mr. Young,
instructed by Emmy award-winning filmmaker Megan Artezzo. Good job, Megan.
Chant was played by Adel Refi. It doesn't say that he was in anything Emmy nominated yet.
Oh gee. Tannikin the Pink Lit was played by special guest Sarah Finan.
Sarah and Adel perform regularly together in the improv group Revolver at Chicago's Iofiators
Chicago also my home. Oh talk Barley Foot is played by Nick Bear
Ah, produced by Evan Jacoba Ryan DeGeorgie and Arnie Neacamp edited by Chris Rathjen
I mentioned one or two to the phone. Oh, uh, go to Twitter, go to Facebook.
Magic Tavern is there. We also have shirts on the website.
Sometimes I have everything you've been listening to was sponsored by the party game,
utter nonsense. Available at Target Stores Nationwide.
And all of that was facilitated by the Chicago podcast co-op, which you can learn more about
at ChicagoPodcastCoop..com I gotta get his engines.
Mmm, bye.
Death Rat.