Hello From The Magic Tavern - 41 - Skeleton

Episode Date: December 11, 2015

I learn about dungeons from an actual dungeon-guarding skeleton. Nice guy!CreditsArnie: Arnie NiekampChunt: Adal RifaiUsidore: Matt YoungClacks/Clax?: TJ JagodowskiOtok Barleyfoot: Nick BaerCraig: Ryan DiGiorgiMysterious Man: Tim SniffenProducers: Arnie Niekamp, Evan Jacover, Ryan DiGiorgiEditor: Ryan DiGiorgiTheme Music: Andy PolandMagic Tavern Logo: Allard LabanAudio Assistance: Jason KnoxYou can support the show directly and receive bonus episodes and rewards by joining our Patreon at https://www.patreon.com/magictavern for only $5 per month. Follow us on Twitter and Instagram, and now Patreon!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Hey, this is Craig, the guy trapped in the space station. I'm sorry to report that the mysterious man who usually does these intros is dead. He wasn't able to survive being shot with all those lasers, but I'm going to continue his work, because the only buttons I know how to operate on this thing do the podcast. So as he would say, the following podcast is not real, but it is really sponsored by Basecamp. When you use Basecamp to run projects, people know what to do, people know where things are, and you stay on top of everything all the time. Hello from the Magic Tavern! A weekly podcast from the magical land of fun, I'm your host Arnee Neekamp.

If you've never listened to the podcast before, this is what's going on. Many, many months ago I fell through a dimensional rift behind Burger King into the fantastical land of fun. Luckily I'm still getting a slight Wi-Fi signal from the Burger King, I think, through the dimensional rift, and I use that to upload a podcast I record every week in the Vermilion Minotaur, a tavern in the town of Hogs faced in the land of Foon. I'm joined as always by my co-host. Hey, John here. And...

I am Musador, Wizard of the Twelfth Realm of Ephesius Master of Light and Shadow, Minipulator of Magical Lights, devour of Chaos, Champion of the Great Holes of Tarakas, the Elves Nobius Fying Yalak, the Robs Nobius Zonin and Hook Stangies, and I am known in an orthest as Guess meaniest maestor and trust me friends When I do say there are secret names that have such great power that I shall never reveal them Lest I destroy all of my beloved food Orn you can come back.

Come on back on me. All right, thank you. All right, great. For listeners who maybe missed the last couple episodes, I'm giving you some space while he says his name and I'm just kind of running over to the other side of the tavern to kind of think on what I want to. How you want to interrupt?

How I want to interrupt you in the future. I have not come to any answers for that yet. How are you guys doing? How are want to interrupt you in the future. I have not, I have not come to any answers for that yet. How are you guys doing? How you doing, Chuck? Doing good. That's great. How you doing, UC? I am doing wonderfully. My beloved Genleivia has now been tricked as she did trick me. Uh-huh.

So in the past, she, she tricked you into... I had trapped her in a crystal coffin. I was going to have a natural kidnap wedding, but when I opened the coffin, she was replaced with a plate of croissants. So I decided to trick her as is the wizard's want. So I appeared to her as a center. I seduced her, I made her fall in love with me, and then on our wedding night, when we would have engaged in actual sexual Congress, I slipped out of the room, and I left her a basket of muffins! Ha ha ha ha ha!

But you said you love this woman, right? Yes, why don't you just try to find a way to really connect with her. Maybe this is the wizard's way, eh? But we are not questing and defeating dark evil monsters and creatures and lords of darkness. We, uh, we play magical tricks on each other. It's fun! I think it's just a way of not being emotionally available. As she bites into that muffin, she will think of usador and weep a single tear. Can I ask you guys some advice up top of the podcast? Of course.

So you know we get a lot of emails from the podcast, people send them to me at MagicTaver and at puppies.supplies. I love how many emails we get, many of them are very supportive. But I feel like there's a good chunk of the emails that just don't like me or I guess they're just sort of teasing me and I wanna try my best, like are there things? Do you guys use the door and chant, do you have advice for ways that I can make myself maybe more likable on the podcast?

Hmm, that's a good, yeah, I get a lot of hate mail for you in my email. Maybe like come to a chant's night or maybe like anytime you have the urge to make fun of us don't. Does that make sense? I don't know if those are things that you can immediately apply. Yeah I will try my best not to make fun of you. Okay. Any more. Yeah. Don't take this rock. I'm on rock. I'm on rock. I'm on rock. I'm on rock. Hold this rock in your hand. Take it. Okay. Take the rock. All right. I'm's rock. It's rock. It's rock. It's rock. It's rock. It's rock. It's rock. It's rock. It's rock. It's rock. It's rock. It's rock. It's rock. It's rock. It's rock. It's rock. It's rock. It's rock. It's rock. It's rock. It's rock. It's rock. It's rock. It's rock. It's rock. It's rock. It's rock. It's rock. It's rock. It's rock. It's rock. It's rock. It's rock. It's rock. It's rock. It's rock. It's rock. It's rock. It's rock. It's rock. It's rock. It's rock. It's rock. It's rock. It's rock. It's rock. It's rock. It's rock. It's rock. It's rock. It's rock. It's rock. It's rock. It's rock. It's rock. It's rock. It's rock. It's rock. It's rock. It's rock. It's rock. It's rock. It's rock. it's rock. it's rock. It's rock. it's rock the universes by the power of that rock. Alright, I'm thinking positive stuff.

How about everyone think about how much you like Arnie? Hey, yeah. Think about how much you like her. Open your minds and your hearts and hear his voice. Don't think of how it's a little bit high-pitched and whiny. Think about how wonderfully it is for get the fact that he abandoned his family to come to food. How? Think about how, though he sits around all week long and has no job and does nothing of use here in food,

that he is still a good person. Okay, thanks. Maybe every time you're about to make fun of one of us, just stop yourself and say, you are my friend. Okay, I can do that. Can you try that? I Okay, I can do that. Can you try that? I do. I can absolutely do that. And you know what, I will keep that in mind

throughout the rest of the podcast, but I feel bad we've been ignoring our guests. I'm very excited that we are joined by a talking, walking skeleton named Clax. Guys, how are you? Hey! There you are. How are you today?

So great, so great, so great to see people. Yeah, good to see you. So great to be around. to see people yeah, it's so great to be around Yeah, I have to admit you look very familiar to me Well, you might have known me in my living body. Oh, wow. Yeah Leo house Martin. Anyone know Leo house Martin I was very familiar. Did you ever go by Leonard? Nope always Leo always Leo always Leo Leonard. Nope Did you live here in hog space? Yeah, I reappolstered I had a real joy. Yes Nope, always, always, always, always, always, always, always, always, always, always, always, always, always, always, always, always, always, always, always, always, always, always, always, always, always, always, always, always, always, always, always, always, always, always, always, always, always, always, always, always, always, always, always, always, always, always, always, always, always, always, always, always, always, always, always, always, always, always, always, always, always, always, always, always, always, always, always, always, always, always, always, always, always, always, always, always, always, always, always, always, always, always, always, always, always, always, always, always, always, always, always, always, always, always, always, always, always, always, always, always, always, always, always, always, always, always, always, always, always, always, always, always, always, always, always, always, always, always, always, always, always, always, always, always, always, always, always, always, always, always, always, always, always, always, always, always, always, always, always, always, always, always, always, always, always, always, always, always, always, always, always, always, always, always, always, always, always, always, always, always, always, always, always, always, always, always, always, always, always, always, always, always, always, always, always, always, always, always, always, always, always, always, always, always, always, always, always, always, always, always, always, always, always, always, always, always, always, always, always, always, always, always, always, always, always, always, always, always, always, always, always, always, always, always, the houseman, like, house, hey, get your house, get your house better, man. It was so interesting. Yeah, we're in there.

We never upholstered. Yeah, but we could re-appelster, like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So, why waste your time upholstering? You can re-appelster. Well, at the hand bones upholster, we'll do it right afterwards.

I don't know if this is too personal of a question, but what happened that you used to be a living man and now you're a reanimated skeleton? Hey, bad news guys, happens to everybody. All is that true? I mean, you're gonna get down to this. Oh, what was your specific, were you killed in at home or a place?

Oh, no, it was a remarkable point in myself, actually. Oh, no. Yeah, at least it was a remarkable point in myself actually oh no at least it was accidental I guess I was tanning leathers and it takes a lot mercury, arsenic, there's a lot of stuff from there accumulates you never get it out of your body I still got it in me

so you slowly poison yourself it wasn't like you actually drank no I was happy that's wonderful we're so happy for you. Thank you. Thanks, guys. It's just great to see people. Can we get you a drink or food or anything?

Nope, neither. Okay. Yes, I, that's how it actually is. Is that rude to us? A rude thing to ask. Neither. I'm feeling so soft conscious. Should I, I feel like I should have asked that.

I just apologize for this. It's all right. I'm so sorry. We're all finding this. I'm so sorry. I'm shunned. You're a good friend. Oh, thank you. So, so sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I very well. I hang I hang at I'm basically the first level of kind of token defense if you decide to Delvin to the so you got a security. Yeah, that's that's I like to consider myself the the face of the dungeon

Yeah, and like I said, yeah, it's it's token defense if you really want to get in there You guys have been in the dungeons. Oh, absolutely. Yes, very much so. Yes, so you know You don't meet the nastiest guy first I mean he's takes care of gradually more And I and I find that are elderly population are elderly population, often take jobs as greeters at the front. It's a very common thing that happens to you later in your life or later after your life. Yes.

And you know, you see me, I'm going to take a couple of swipes with a rusty axe. Yeah. And I'm going to hold up my shield a couple of times. But I'm really just there to help you make a sweat. Sure. Sort of introduce you to basically what you can expect if you decide to go past me. Yeah, sure. So can I ask, are you training wheels of the dungeon?

Yeah, just, hey, how are you, bang bang. You know, knock my head off. Yeah. Go ahead on. Yeah. Can I ask, are you, is your shift over like, is there someone else there, or did you get defeated, or how are you able to be here and, um, it's a does. Oh, right now, you barely even noticed me not being there.

Sure. Fair, fair, fair. So like in the first part of the dungeon, it's like you and some bats and maybe like slime. Yeah, some os, you know, you're gonna see some more inconveniences than truth threats. Yeah. You know, like if you're coming into the dungeons,

you're sort of usually gonna know what to expect. Yeah, you're not just wandering in there. There's warnings that okay Dungeons be here. You sure do you ever do you hold on to like any potions or anything that you might drop like do you have no no rusty axe shield I Supposed you could take the rusty axe if you really didn't have any weapons with you. Oh yeah, you could take my axe, but is that what it does? No, yes, exactly. Nobody does.

It's honestly like, if you're coming down there, you're better off than I am. Right, exactly. You're a good upper-pants. Yeah. Yeah. Have you ever actually killed anybody? Have you ever stopped? No, no.

No, I caused some serious discomfort, you know. But yeah, that's the most. And frankly, I got no problems with anybody. I got a job to do, you got a job to do. Knock my head off, move on. Do you mind, I don't know if this is slightly insulting question. No, I got it. Do you ever have adventurers come through,

are they ever kind of bored while they're fighting you? Or just like oh god I got a scout I gotta get past the skeleton. I don't give them time to get bored. Okay fair It doesn't last out. Yeah, you know, it's it's bang bang boom. Yeah, you know good to see you I will say as an adventurer that I enjoy Starting a new dungeon going in you knock down as a bat or a skeleton you're Oh, I think I'm gonna be good at this. Yeah, it's a little it builds your confidence. It's quite exciting Loosen up the legs a little bit. Yeah, nice little work out now

You said you're happy in this job, but there aren't a lot of jobs. Have you have you considered other other aren't a lot of jobs. Have you have you considered other other means of Oh, yeah, I mean, you know, I try to get back into my into my old profession, but you know, if you bring in a ratty to Van, you don't want it. You don't want to skeleton saying, you know, come back next Tuesday. Yeah, yeah. That's all set for you. It seems ominous. It seems very ominous. It's unpleasant. Yeah. So I think this is it. And frankly, it's all right. You know, the hours are horrible. The hours are terrible. Ways of course.

Every hour, every day. That's a good word. But what the heck, I don't need a lot of breaks. Yeah. Do you ever get a chance to meet anyone to say a date? Or like a lady's girlfriend? Like yeah. Thanks for asking.

It's so tough to tell. Yeah, you know You got to stare right at the pelvis and and that's them. That's a way to offend someone right off the bat Yeah, like my eye sockets are up here. Yeah, right, right and there are some guys with narrow palvices I mean look at mine sure you know, I know I would think lady. Yeah, yeah, of course you would know that you thank you But you're always figured yeah, I don't know you're very Svelte. Yeah, what do you like 28 pounds? Well, yeah, so can what 30 cool so can what yeah, yes I remember even as as a living man you were you were rather a tall and thin you never a

Husky job. No, I wouldn't have been described as Husky or pop or anything like that slight slight a frame Slider thing kindly and slight a frame I think is is what I would probably overheard if I heard people talking about in the later years people said I'm just husky or pop or anything like that. Slight, slider frame, slider thing, kindly in slider frame, I think is what I would have probably overheard if I heard people talking about. In the later years, people said gaunt, but... Gaunt, yeah, sickly. Yeah, oh, you know, unwell.

He looks poisoned, yeah. Yeah, he looks sick like in the old times. Yes, I never knew you well when you were alive, but I remember walking down the street, walking past your shop occasionally, waving to you, saying hello, but as you grew more gondon, terrifying looking, I would just avert my eyes. Yeah, there was a time when people just walked by my body. Oh, no.

Yeah. Did you just like decompose? I was put on a pile. I was put on a pile. And there was a time for a while when I probably could have been helped. Oh, no. Yeah. Yeah. That is sad.

But I look so, you know, you wouldn't know if I looking at me. It's just I knew, you know, I was screaming silently from behind my working eyes at that point of someone, please, and you know, that's when you know who your friends are. Yeah, right. Now, Clanx, so what, so you're on pile dying.

Yeah, you die. Yeah. And then like, are you conscious all the way through the process of becoming a skeleton or apparently at some point, and now this is the part where I lost, I truly lost consciousness. You know, and I, near as I could tell, I was moving on to another thing. And maybe this can be cleared up for me. I had to be reanimated. Officially I'm on dead. Officially I'm the working class of the undead. And there's more of us, you

wouldn't believe it. In the union, there's more of us than any of us. We get the least press. Sure. The least press. Zombies, vampires, people, lov'em, go go go go go go. But there's more skeletons in the actual roles of the undead course. So at some point I had to be reanimated. That part is unclear, is even unclear to me. Sure. I knew at some point was I was moving up and around again.

Yeah, that's it. I feel like vampires were like, you know, they get the acclaim because they have special abilities, powers. Do skeletons, is there, I'm unfamiliar, I'm just not friends with the new Skeleton Zone fence. None. Did anyone give you the impression

that we're easily offendable? You guys have already, no. I'm just speaking. No, don't worry about it, don't walk it in, I'm just so happy to be around. I can't imagine my job getting my head knocked off every day, but do you guys have any special abilities or powers that we might not assume?

Who, not that you wouldn't assume. Does it hurt when you get your head knocked off? No, okay, no, okay, no, so you don't feel pain. You never get used to the sound. You never like the sounds, you know I get I get shattered crushed mushed, you know I've been I've been squished beneath beneath heavy slabs of stone I've been I've been squished beneath beneath heavy slabs of stone But reanimation you know reanimation is pretty great. Yeah, that's amazing. You never did for long Covered the no eating no sleeping no sleeping. Yeah, no sleeping

So that's you know, yeah, I guess nothing that you wouldn't assume but yeah lack of paint. That's pretty great That's huge. I've never tried like taking one of your arms off and playing your ribs like a xylophone? That's all you do for a while. You know, you just see what can I do with this? Literally with this frame. What can this hold? You know? When you came in, you were speaking about jobs. I immediately thought,

well why doesn't he train dogs? Oh yeah. I, you're made of bones. Yeah, but you get, you know, one of them ripped your tip off. Oh, but you get, you know, one of them rips your tip off. You know, I'm crawling around. I could eventually, because I need no rest. I could track them down after a while.

That's very true. But I'm gonna look like a goofball, and I'm scratching my way around the street. I'm a dog, I was the upper half. You know, that's the thing. Yeah, and you're right. Yeah. Well, you know what, let's take a real quick break.

And I know I'm sorry, Clacks. We can't get you anything like you. No, thanks, I will refresh our drinks and we'll be right back This is otac barley foot of the Ramellian Minotaur here with your free rumor of the week rumor has it that cleave in little bird has dawned the cloak of mourning So that's what you see him in when he's walking down the street. It's the cloak of mourning. For another rumor, please come down to the Rumillion Minotaur and purchase an ale or meat or any other fine beverage.

And we'll be happy to assist you with another rumor. The Rumillion Minotaur, on the Kings Road, at the base of Michigal Shane Forrest. You know, I don't think it's ever been written. Ha ha ha ha. Real. Can that weird? I don't think it's ever written. It's been spoken a bunch of times. It's more of a nickname. Oh, I see. If you're moving around the sound,

I make when I move around. Clicking the clack, click it, clack. Yeah, it came from that, but I don't think it's ever been written down. Yeah. Do you have work buddies in the dungeon? You know what, super slow, I can walk back in, but you know, have a conversation with ooze,

you know, a couple of times, you know, you kinda get it, you know. And you're kinda stuck in the, I bet they're much more interesting people to talk to if you get deeper down, but they're so little new news in there. You know, like, I mean, there's, there's, honestly, there are, and I don't wanna go away too many trades,

it's there are inner realms of the dungeons. Nobody's been there's, honestly, there are, and I don't wanna go away too many trades, it's there are inner realms of the dungeons. Nobody's been in for, I don't know, 100 something years. So there is zero news coming out of the, you know, coming out of the belly of the choice. Yeah, right. I mean, if something news happen, and chances are it's happening to me, and like, and my thing is so routine that, you know,

I rarely have new stuff to tell, you know. So what's in the, you said, that, you know, I rarely have new stuff to tell. So what's in the, you said, or do you know, or Clank, you know, what's at the center of the dungeon? Like, what are people trying to get out of there? There's a lunar sword down there. A lunar sword. Lunar sword.

Yeah. I have heard the tales of the lunar sword, but I have never been able to reach that level myself. Yeah, I get busy, and then I've got to get back up here and do the podcast. So I get down like maybe four levels. I'm like, yeah, it's tough. It would be helpful if there was a way to like save your progress through the dungeon. Like I'm gonna have to be like, look, I already beat you. I already beat you. That'd be great. Sorry guys. Walking

through. I'm going to start back. Yeah, a series of colored sashes or something like that to let you know, like, okay, he's good up until there you know now trouble starts again speaking of this I I should apologize I assume at some point I have knocked your skull off a four certain yeah so I apologize for that you seem like a delight yeah here outside the cheekbones it's not a face you remember right yeah but the cheekbones I mean you're kind you're kind Okay, another thing I should probably clarify or perhaps even apologize for is often young wizards Or magicians or sorcerers or witches

It's one of the sort of basic things you learned to re-animate a skeleton So it's not necessarily that there's some dark and evil purpose behind it. This may not be the dark Lord's work It's like well, I'm learning stuff. Can you know the spell for a random? Can you say the spell for renommation? Torain pal Yeah Yeah All right, did that you feel I thought I thought I thought it might I thought I thought it, but I get a little tingle or something.

I feel like a little extra pep. Yeah, I'm not bad. So I know if I'm home alone for like a day, I start to just go stir crazy. I start to just think about what is the meaning of life and everything. If you're in the dungeon, if you're in your zone, and no adventures come through, like what's your typical, and you don't wanna talk to these? Oh, I hum some of the great old songs.

Yeah. You know, some of the old traveling songs. Yeah. I go through the old priceless that the re-apulse reshaps. You know, I do stuff. What's your favorite old song to hum? Oh, you want a little bit of it? Yeah, absolutely. song to him oh you want a little bit of it yeah absolutely

you guys know yeah there was a man walking down the path yeah oh yeah I don't think I've heard that one yet. Oh, the traveler, you haven't heard the traveler. No, no, it's a classic. Oh, you met a Florida song. Yeah, that's like you do it at graduation. Yeah, I'll do it at any point of transition or moving onward.

And I feel like at a lot of, if you go to a concert, there's always an asshole who's like the traveler and like they're playing an encore, they're like play the traveler. It's like that's not even our song like it's just gets really do you think that song gets stuck in your head because you're in kind of a state of constant I guess so yearning longing maybe to actually to to to to you know to be able to roam would be would be nice and with with my body I'm

not held there is I've been you knowed two places before and held and bound to two places before so I'm not bound to the dungeons But it's really frowned upon if I wanted too far. Yeah, you know, it's it's any any VK any Take us a bad corner. Yeah, I'm going to the northern shores for a couple of days next month I'm looking forward to that next night cycle. I'm going up there. Yeah, yeah, just to get away, that'll be nice. That'll be nice to see some new terrain. Yeah, absolutely. You know, sort of talking about how you entertain yourself. Do you have any hobbies that you've brought into the afterlife with you and to your undead

life? I used to read. I used to do a lot of reading, but not anymore, not anymore, the light is so poor down there. And I'm still unclear as to how my own vision works. Sure, sure. Yes.

Yeah. Feels like some things I can see very clearly other things. I just don't, I don't see it all. Sure. Yeah, and print would be a hard, yes, reading small runes would be difficult. Yeah, and I'm close to 110 now, so I imagine I'd need something larger print. Yeah, yeah.

And you have no eyes. Yeah, right. I think that's what you said. Yeah, no, I know, but yeah. You know what, Trent, you're a good friend. Oh, thank you so much. You're doing really nice today. But you know, I actually have a question.

Partially for you, Siddharth. Now, with this lunar sword, be helpful in the quest against the Dark Lord. Oh, yes, the power of the moon infued within a blade would certainly turn the tide against his dark dealing. So, my question is, now I don't know how come... you don't seem super committed to your job. Is it possible, like, you could be an inside man on a high sort of situation in the dungeon? Oh wow. Wow, be an inside guy. Like a new sense of purpose, you know? Like I don't I don't I don't want to offend our guests but I I mean I'll just get his head knocked off. I don't know what he would do. What would happen if you tried? Go, go, go.

I mean, why basically said you were ineffective and useless? Yeah, I mean, you get 40 or 50 of us together, we'll keep someone busy for a while. Oh, you're right. An army of skeletons. Oh, there you go. An hour raising to my dead, yeah. But I kind of wonder like it's not even talking about brute force here.

It's just you're unassuming nature. In the dungeon, no one's gonna give you a second look. To true. To true. I mean, no one really is gonna perceive me as a danger. Here's downside, they will hear me coming. Sure. You know what?

So if any sneaking or any kind of covert operation going on, I'll blow that. I'll blow that right out, right out. But informationally, I can pretty much down to about the sixth concentric circle. I can kind of give you an idea of what you're gonna look for. You know, like basically what you can prep for it. There's a lot. You said, or how far have you gotten into the dungeon?

At the fourth level. The fourth level. So I see on its point now, I don't believe interfuture sneak would be even possibly if you are unassuming enough Could you just walk down grab the sword and bring it back up say I'm getting it cleaned or something likely Who's easy to fool sure? But there is some highly you know what actually down there. There's gonna be I'm gonna run into something highly intelligent right white You know what, actually, down there, I'm gonna run into something highly intelligent. You know, a white, you know, it's something like that. We're gonna whirr something.

Anything like that. But I can tell you this about the lunar sword. In any room or place with a single source of light, it is unable to be beaten. It doesn't need to be the moon. It can be a closed room with a single candle. Oh. Anywhere with a single source of light. So that's my little, where's my little bone throw to you?

Oh, thank you. Just skew and something. I'm bone throw. I love that. They're clever. I'm just saying that would be very useful on your quest, you said. I'm very intrigued by actually getting this sword now. I'd heard the rumors and I've been in the dungeon

So perhaps I shall reinvest my energies in my time into traversing even deeper into this dungeon so that I may bring back this sword and defeat the Dark Lord and defend all of you wonderful people from his evil machinations. I used to know You wonderful people from his evil machinations. I used to know Tell you all You don't like to do I've only been to one dungeon before but whatever whatever whenever I go I like to Make up a fake name. Oh, yeah, so if I go in instead of being like I'm chun. I'll be like Hey Sink here like I'll just be like I'm a sink, you know, just put in something fun. Where'd you go with dungeon?

I went to the one. It's right off the so if you're going down the the Kings Road and you take the second left Oh, please Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, what's pretty good pretty I mean it's all right. It's not bad Yeah, I just stepped in the first room. I didn't really find anyone just kind of taking a look around and want to use a fake name It's pretty well lit. Yeah, that's just so you know if you go to other dungeons Don't necessarily expect it to be that well lit. Because it's actually pretty well made, thanks to the other ones of really fond into just...

Oh, by... I have to really recommend to each of you that you gather a party. Take a group into a dungeon with you. It's really fun. And my favorite thing to do when I'm in a dungeon is we come up against some great and horrid beast of monster and I say no Run I shall stand to protect us all and I I make a stand against that beast and then I die and I come back a slightly different shade of blue Clacks, thank you so much for joining us guys. I cannot tell you how appreciative I am that you had me.

It was a thrill. It was absolutely our pleasure. Great, I hope to see you all again. Yeah, good luck on your vacation. Thank you. And if you're just ever in a mood, knock a head off or whatever, no harm, no foul. Come on down, it keeps me busy. I haven't done any dungeon crawling here because I'm a little nervous, but you're right.

It sounds like I could dip my toe into the experience. Arnold, this is what will make people like you. Go on an adventure. A very simple adventure will get you a sword and some leather armor, maybe a wooden sword, something to get you easy to get you started with, and we'll go to Clacks and we'll just do him knock his arm off or his head or something I'll take a dive baby have that you know what? I am going to get that lunar sword. Thank you, Yusador. You're a good friend. Oh, oh, I mean, it's gonna take me a while

It's not like next week I'm gonna be like wait me as a lunar sword, but I'm gonna work my way through the dungeon clacks You know, I'll see you regularly. It sounds like great. Well, that's wonderful. I'm gonna work my way through the dungeon. Clacks, you know, I'll see you regularly. It sounds like. Well, that's wonderful. I'm very proud of you all. Yeah, good for you for getting off your ass and doing something. All right, man.

You're a good friend. Yes. Hey, Chant, do you got any emails? I do. This first one is from David Cajillo. Says greeting and chants up guys. My name is David the beloved from the kingdom of America, but writing from the mystical land of Japan. Japan?

Japan, yes. You could say I'm a warrior who is on a quest. Anyways I've been wondering if a shapeshifter is a child of a manticore and a hunger ghost. What will your children be? I guess I don't really know. Wow, that's right. You have one sperm that you keep in a vial around your neck and if you want to have a child, yeah, I have to put it in. You put this sperm in.

You have to load that in. Will they also be the shape? Will they also be shape shifters or does it depend on who you have children with? I sincerely enjoy the conversations you guys have as it gets me through my day. I hope to hear more from this podcast. Yeah, it's really a unknown territory, as far as I'm a shape shifter, and who knows what I will want to meet with,

and we'll see what happens from there. I see do it. Have a kid. No, no, no, no. I'm someone I have a child, and as soon as you have a child, how's that going? I mean, it was fantastic until I accidentally fell

into a dimensional portal. But since I've had a child, I want other people to have children too. Chant. Misery loves company, huh? Clax, I want other people to have children too. Chant. Missouri loves company, huh? Clacks, did you have any children? No, never so lucky. Never so lucky.

I like to fellos. Oh, well, that's fantastic. Yeah, I can change that room. I heard that room about you, but. I can say it now. Yeah, that's great. I'm out. Yeah. The three goddesses of food look kindly upon all the children of food. I can say it now. What the heck, I'm out.

The three goddesses of food look kindly upon all the children of food. Great. Can I tell you some of their sexual preference? How amazing that is after 110 years that he's comfortable enough in his bones to say, I mean, that's beautiful. I've never felt freer. That's great. I've never felt freer.

I live in a dungeon that I've never felt so free. That's amazing. I have one more here. This is in you dungeon. I've never felt so free. That's amazing. I have one more here This is in you can email us email me at chanted gmail.com. It's channel 60s. This is from Norman Doom He says you should have Arnold set up a Instagram accounts. What's Yeah, it's it's sort of like Twitter chant you're on Twitter, right? Yeah, Yusidore is also on Twitter That's Yusidore the blue and you can follow me at magic tavern on Twitter, right? And Yusidor is also on Twitter. That's Yusidor the Blue. And you can follow me at Magic Tavern on Twitter.

It's like that, but it's... That's tag awesome. It's like that, but it's all photos, it's pictures, which is sort of hard to explain. Yeah, pictures on Twitter. There are, but you know, it just, it takes, you know, I think people forget that the internet is very spotty and slow here.

So like uploading and downloading pictures takes a really long time that's why I haven't bothered with Instagram. Okay. Did you get any email? Yeah I did. I got a couple emails. Hello from the Kingdom of the Netherlands again. Oh I believe this is Dave Martinez, the most, uh, Netherlands sounding, uh, person I've ever met.

Hello from the Kingdom of the Netherlands. Zonen Hougstangies means kissing, feats of excellence. My guess is, Yusidor had quite a lot of sexual experience among the dwarves to get a name like that. Care to share one with us Yusidor from Dave Martinez. I-I understand that you believe in Dutch on your planet Earth. That this means kissing feats of excellence, but here, upon the land of Foon, Zonenin-Hukstangies means scraper of the bottom of the river. I would personally prefer kissing feats of excellence.

I don't know your stupid earth languages or your stupid earth customs But I I I cannot speak to that. I I've never kissed a dwarves foot that I well No, let me think about it. Yeah, I did I did okay. Well, let's not talk about stupid earth stuff There were seven of them I kissed all their feet I fell asleep, and then a princess came along and wanted to wake me up. But then these seven dwarves took care of me in the forest. And I woke up, I was so happy, I just kissed all their feet. No, wow. Fantastic. Here's another email I got. It's- this is also about Yusidor.

I stared in the darkest part of my partner's eyes and made a wish. My wish came true, and what followed was crazy hot.sador, if that was you, thanks, Ken. You're welcome. Oh boy. Alright, how about I'll read one more real fast. Hello Arnold, it's Arnie. Big fan of the podcast, still getting caught up. I'm about six episodes behind. Was wondering though, what clothes are you wearing? Do you just wash the same outfit every night? Do you not wash your clothes? Have you bought new clothes and food? Thanks for all the hard work, Arnold, it's Arnie. Michelle Norman-Dew, PS Hi-Chunt in Yusidor.

Hello. Well, you know, as I've mentioned before, it was not just myself the one through the portal, my car, my Toyota Camry, is sort of stashed in McShingles-Shane Forest. And he had packed a whole year's worth of clothes because he knew he was abandoning his family. No, I was not abandoning my family, but there did happen to be, you know, I did from a,

I had, there was some dirty laundry from a recent trip that was in the car. So I have had some clothes, I sort of tried out occasionally. Sometimes I just wear rags and things that I find. I try my best to wash the clothes and the rivers. Is that why you wear rags? Yeah, I mean, look, I gotta be honest. Sometimes.

You just found those? Yeah. I thought those were earth clothes. No, people don't wear. We had a whole conversation like yikes, like, come on man. And when you just walked in with a tree branch in front of you, we'll get you some clothes. Yeah, no, yes, please actually.

I mean, you just say so. I don't know. I'm used to proud. Yeah, I don't know. Thanks guy. It would actually be nice because, especially underwear-wise, I could really use something new. Ooh, let's go shopping in. Also, you know, Don, the Transdimensional Delivery man sent us a bunch of t-shirts while back,

which I guess you can order Magic Tavern t-shirts from Anarberties. I don't know, Google it, you can find it. But I have a bunch of magic taverns. I have a bunch of magic taverns and use it or t-shirts and I've sort of fashioned those into make-shift pairs of underwear. I thought you were just a big fan of mine. Yeah, so yes, freeway, that is underwear.

Yes. Oh, dam it, yes. Uh, I actually thought back on parts of this conversation, and I think I have taken offense to a couple of things. Oh, whoa. Oh, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry.

I'm so sorry. No problem. Well, we think you're delightful. Ah, thanks, guys. I'm going to knock his head off. I did it. I did it. Cool fun fun stuff so none of that was real maybe maybe none of this is real maybe I'm I'm not real at this point I don't really know but hey it wouldn't be fun to send

Instrument information about how you think I can maybe get back to Earth if you happen have any, even if it wasn't real, it'd be fun. Don't you, um, so Yusudor was Matt Young, uh, Chant was played by Adel Rafaie, um, the talking skeleton, I was played by special guest TJ Jagadowski. TJ is half of the improv show TJ and Dave, which is without exaggeration one of the best things you could ever go see.

Find out if and when they're performing near you at TJ and Dave.com. Oh and also he's one of the guys in those sonic commercials so I love those. Otock Barleyfoot was played by Nick Bear. Oh Greg. Oh what do you know? I guess he is alive. Oh well. All of this skeleton talk was sponsored by Basecamp with help from the Chicago podcast co-op.

Learn more about Basecamp at Basecamp.com and the Chicago podcast co-op at Chicagopodcastcoop.com. And if you want to listen to another podcast from the Chicago podcast co-op, check out Friendshiping. Jen and trend discuss friendship, particularly between ladies. They tackle the tricky stuff like how can I make friends as an adult, how do I end a toxic friendship, and more. You know, I haven't been a great friend to this mysterious man, but maybe now that he's alive, I can make it up to him. Make his favorite food, but I haven't been able to find any kind of kitchen here.

I've just been living off the Reese's Pieces from the vending well I'll work on that I guess we'll see you next week bye