Hello From The Magic Tavern - 57 - Dreamclimber

Episode Date: April 11, 2016

Meet Thretta Dreamclimber. She doesn't get many breaks from her job of climbing into peoples dreams, but she's spending one of them with us!CreditsArnie: Arnie NiekampChunt: Adal RifaiUsidore...: Matt YoungThretta Dreamclimber: Andel SudikMysterious Man: Tim SniffenCraig: Ryan DiGiorgiProducers: Arnie Niekamp, Evan Jacover, Ryan DiGiorgiEditor: Evan JacoverTheme Music: Andy PolandMagic Tavern Logo: Allard LabanAudio Assistance: Jason KnoxYou can support the show directly and receive bonus episodes and rewards by joining our Patreon at https://www.patreon.com/magictavern for only $5 per month. Follow us on Twitter and Instagram, and now Patreon!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Starting point is 00:00:43 The following podcast is not real, but it is part of the Ear Wolf Network. Late at night when you hear that distant ringing in your ear, do not panic, Tis but the disconsolate lowing of the mind cow, it uh, the ear wolf. This episode was also sponsored by a company that chooses to remain secret. This unnamed sponsor wants listeners to know that they can send candy bars or really any weird thing to the following address. Cards Against Humanity 1917 North Elston, Chicago, Illinois, 60642
Starting point is 00:01:15 Care of Arnie Neacamp, Vermillion Minotaur, Town of Augsface, Land of Foon And they promised to try to shove that thing through the portal behind the Burger King and get it to the show's hosts. Hmm, hang on, isn't cards against humanity a company? I'm sure it's unrelated. The mystery continues. Enjoy the show. Hello from the Magic Tavern, a weekly podcast from the magical land of Foon. I'm your host Arnie Neekham, if you've never listened to the podcast before. This is all you need to know. About a year and five weeks ago, I fell through a dimensional portal behind a burger king
Starting point is 00:02:11 into the fantastical, magical land of phone. Luckily, I'm still getting a slight Wi-Fi signal from the burger king through the dimensional rift, and I use that to upload a podcast that I record every week here in the tavern, the Vermilion Minotaur, in the Town of Hogs. You are sweating a lot. Oh, it's exhausting. I mean, some water or what's going on? I might need a little bit of water. I record every week here in the tavern,
Starting point is 00:02:35 the Vermilion Minotaur, in the Town of Hogs face, in the land of Foon. And I'm joined, as always, by my co-host, my buddy, Mingbang, Shunt, the talking badger slash shape shifter. How's it going? I'm doing okay, how are you doing, chunt? I'm doing okay as well. Are you still just 100%?
Starting point is 00:02:54 You've just decided to embrace your impending death? Dying is easy, Arnie, living in Sardar. And I, of course, am Bagel Miefingies! Oh, yes, my other co-host, the wizard, just Bagel Miefingies. That's right. Bagel Miefingies. No other names. Shunt.
Starting point is 00:03:15 Do not lay down and die. Nay, fight against the raging of the night that doth attempt to orcum me. I, for I, use a door. Wizard of the twelfth realm of a feasiest, master of light and shadow, manipulator of magical delights, the vowr of chaos, champion of the great halls of T'rakis. Known to the elves as fying, Yelik, known to the dwarves as shown in whose stangies, known in the North East as gas when his mistar,
Starting point is 00:03:42 shall not rest for one moment until he finds a cure and saves his friend shunt and then After saving trunt saves all a spoon. I yeah, I shall defeat that dark lord and that encroaching void I Nothing so the shape me I shall go out and I shall continue I'm good really you you don't have to I'm good. Thank you though I'm good, really. You don't have to, I'm good. Thank you, though. You know, I've just accepted, like,
Starting point is 00:04:07 death is just a part of life and it's just like, I'm just gonna do everything I've always wanted to do in the next few months. Like, I want to burn a man, festival. Plus, you went to what? It's called Burn a Man. You went to a Burn a Man festival. Do I, I don't know if I want to know,
Starting point is 00:04:23 what happens to a Burn a Man festival? Well, it's in the title. You didn't, okay. We burn a man festival do I I don't not sure if I want to know what happens at a burn man festival what's in the title you know we burn a man oh man I suggested you but they didn't come on hey bagel bagel me thingies hey hey hey sorry I was in the wizard state you know last week I suggested you shorten your name to bagel me thingles and I did and you did but it actually made the process much longer is it bagel me they said, Bagel me fingles! I like bagel the fingies. But then I sort of, you know, I adapted it to Bagel me fingies. Could you combine, could you turn it into Bagel me fingy Angyallik? Bagel me fingy Angyallik?
Starting point is 00:04:54 Yes. No. Then I shall be known to both the three people and the elves. I'm not sure if they're going to be the same. But I'm not sure if they're going to be the same. Yangialic? Pagumi Fying Yalic. Yes. No. Then I shall be known to both the three people and the elves as one combined name. Aye.
Starting point is 00:05:13 Yeah, and then if a tree person ever procreates with an elf, I shall have a name for that very specific person. I don't think DQ will ever have sex with the tree. No, probably not. There is something you guys can do and it's nothing. And again, I'm resigning myself that, you know, I'm gonna die. But I did make these little ribbons. It's just cursor awareness ribbons.
Starting point is 00:05:32 They're brown and they're in the shape of a but also. If you just wanna wear those, just to bring awareness to curses. I, you know, it doesn't seem like I'm gonna make it, but just for future, you know cursed folks I just want to bring awareness look I will wear this this ribbon for you, but chat why fight and fight and fight until I find the exact cure That does save my friend Chantanay if it kills me to save him then so be it and those are those are two gold pieces Oh here. Oh, thank you and I then on you. To pay for this? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:06:06 Okay. I'm trying to raise awareness for first-year, first- cow is white as milk, a cape is red as blood, a hair as yellow is corn, and a slipper as pure as gold. Really, you don't have to. No, it's a cow is white as milk, a cape is red, as blood as hair is yellow as corn. I'm not good with lists, I have to say. Listen, it sounds like a lot of that stuff
Starting point is 00:06:42 that if we're gonna try and get it, we'll have to go into the woods and I do not. Into the woods? If you want to remember something, it's often useful to set it to music. A cow is wide, his mouth, a cape is red, his blood, a hair is yellow, his corn, a slipper is pure, his gold. I meant to say it's sometimes helpful to use to remember something by setting it to good. Hmm, hmm, okay, both of you, I just, sometimes I say it to myself
Starting point is 00:07:07 so that I don't forget the list. And I'm gonna try to collect these things to save John's life. Thank you. Do we have a guest today? Yes we do, and in fact, I'm very excited. We're joined by Threada Dream Climer. Thank you so much for having me.
Starting point is 00:07:21 This is just, oh, it's just a dream come true to be here. Yeah, so I'm so excited to meet you. Now, your name is DreamClimber, but you also, you have some sort of dream powers? Yeah, yeah, I can do pretty much anything inside the realm of dreams. So, you name it, I can do it. I have all the powers in the realm of dreams.
Starting point is 00:07:41 All the powers inside the realm of dreams. Any power you could think of, and I've got it. Flight. Flight I can do. Well, you know, I mean, to be fair, I can fly of dreams. All the powers inside the realm of dreams. Any power you could think of, and I've got it. Flight. Flight I can do. Well, you know, to be fair, I can fly in dreams. Yeah, but I can fly in other people's dreams. Oh. Which is harder to do. That's adorable.
Starting point is 00:07:55 Yes, that's true. Can you turn your head around like this? Here. Oh, yeah. Oh, please. And then all the way back to the front. Oh, bagel, don't. That was horrifying.
Starting point is 00:08:04 I really enjoy your striped red and green sweater. I think that's adorable. Oh, thank. And then all the way back to the front. Oh, bagel, don't. It was horrifying. I really enjoy your striped red and green sweater. I think that's adorable. Oh, thank you so much. It's just the only thing I have. So. I bet in dreams that sweater is adorable. It is. It's colorless, though.
Starting point is 00:08:17 And your little leather hat, I like that so much. Yeah, I found that in someone's dream. Whenever I'm in a dream, I take something to remember it by. Wow, wow, wow. How did you start getting into dream climbing? Oh, well, it's actually my family profession. So I come from a long line of dream climbers. Oh, dream climbers.
Starting point is 00:08:37 Yeah. You're a long line of dream climbers. It's a common profession here in food. Who climbs into your dreams on earth? Nobody nobody does nobody no so they just they just go unimpeded Oh, so you impede dreams? Well occasionally I'm not supposed to but it's hard to just wander through dreams and not leave your mark Sometimes you sometimes you're in the middle of the dream. You're like hey, what the hell's going on over here? And it's me and I'm doing something crazy in the corner really I love an example like what's a what's like a
Starting point is 00:09:09 Most recent dream you climbed through oh well. I was in your dream last night. It was very interesting Details please so and that's great because I'm not I'm not great with lists So I would be it's great that you were there can you you go? Did I get it right? Was it a cow is wide is milk? A capers red as well? Heres yellow is cool and a slip is red. That's pure as gold. Yeah, that's pretty much what it was. Oh great. Yeah, one of the cows died halfway through your dream. Yeah. So you put powder on it and tried to pass it off. Wow. Yeah, I tried to make it work. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:09:49 What were you doing in my dream? Well, I was writing the cow for a significant amount of it while you were looking for the cape. Uh-huh. And then I took the cape. So yeah, so I'm sorry, I messed that one up for you. No, no, that's all right. That's okay. So why do you like to mess up other people's dreams? Well, you know, because I feel like most often people don't do very
Starting point is 00:10:14 Interesting things in their dreams. So I like to space it up And once you've been through a lot of dreams they can kind of they kind of repeat themselves So I get a little bit bored Yeah, you see a dream climber is kind of repeat themselves. So I get a little bit bored. Yeah. Nice with you. You see a dream climber is committed to making your dreams more interesting and more wonderful. Ah, whatever that is.
Starting point is 00:10:36 You said, what do you, I can't even begin to imagine what your dreams must be like. My dreams are filled with pure fire. And hatred and lust. I'm looking into my dream. It's like looking into the mind of an angel. And then set it on fire and throwing it in the middle of a volcano. Third, have you ever been in one of you Siddharz dreams? I'm sorry.
Starting point is 00:10:57 I want to bag on my Fingy's dreams. Oh, yes. Bag on my Fingy has some very interesting dreams, mostly mirrors. Yes, often, I dream of mirrors. And I look and I see myself. We shall not live under the tyranny of the dark lord in Ilonga! That was a literal one of his dreams. Sure, I'm sure. Verbatom. Verbatom. Strat-
Starting point is 00:11:32 Do you have dreams, yourself? Oh, I don't have time for dreams. I spend all my time in other people's dreams. Really? That's what a dream climber does. What percentage of a day are you in other people's dreams? And what percentage are you in the real world? A hundred percent of the a day are you in other people's dreams and what percentage are you in the real world? A hundred percent of the time I'm awake
Starting point is 00:11:48 in other people's dreams and then once every 500 years I get about an hour. Oh, no, this is your hour not in dreams? Yep. Holy cow. I'm just having the time of my life right now. I'm sure. This is fantastic.
Starting point is 00:12:03 Do you want anything? Yes, I was just going to say, if you only have an hour off, you should have a meal or perhaps some rooster's feet or something. Oh, I would love some rooster's feet. Can we get an order of rooster's feet and some spice potatoes? You know, I've had a recurring dream recently that's the three of us kind of are playing at Chunstite as a band. And Musidor is on the washboard and you're blowing into a jug and I'm on vocals
Starting point is 00:12:31 and playing spoons and it's really delightful. It's a beautiful dream. Oh really? Yeah, it always has the same start but it always has a different end. Sometimes it gets really fucked up. Oh wow, again, what ways is it get fucked up? Well, sometimes you stay the whole time and I start to cry from happiness because you're at a chance night
Starting point is 00:12:49 And sometimes you leave halfway through and you're like this is a mistake and then I just go insane Saying like how for how that what happens when he goes insane? Oh, he just turns into animal after animal And never settles in one. It's unbelievable. Holy cow. Yeah, I just go through a whole menaceory of animals. And yet I never faltered from my duty upon the washboard. But I keep going, a lot of times I'll
Starting point is 00:13:15 turn into an otter. Well, we're in the jug band. I'll turn into like an otter and then a snake and a bear. But mostly back to an otter. Is it like a winter solstice? Does it happen around the winter solstice? It's around the winter solstice. And there's a competition going on
Starting point is 00:13:30 where we have to win this sort of battle of the bands. Yeah. You know, I don't actually dream that often. Like I don't remember my dreams that much. What's that? You dream more often than you think. Oh, really? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:13:46 I feel like my dreams that I remember are always really boring. Like one of the only dreams I remember from my life and earth before I came here. When I was in high school, I had a friend Tom Haley who had a shirt that I like. Just was like, oh, that's a nice shirt. And then I had a dream.
Starting point is 00:14:03 Already bored. I don't know. Hey, it gets more boring then I had a dream, already bored. I know. Hey, it gets more boring. I had a dream one night where I opened my closet and I was like, oh, I have the same shirt as Tom does. Ah, that's, he's gonna be annoyed. And that was the whole dream. That's like one of the only dreams I ever remember.
Starting point is 00:14:23 He's asleep, okay. Oh, I should really be working, right? Let's go into his dreams, let's go into his dreams. Is there, can we get- He's asleep. He's asleep. Okay. Oh, I should really be working. Let's go into his dreams. Let's go into his dreams. Is there can we get? Can you take us with me? Yeah, I get one free pass every 500 years.
Starting point is 00:14:33 Oh, okay, okay. If I hold on to my podcast equipment, we'll, can we be doing this? Oh, I can come with you. Hold on, Arnie. Okay, let me get on your back here. Okay, you are heavy. We just got my arm wrapped around your neck.
Starting point is 00:14:43 And... Can't breathe! whenever you're ready. All right, ready? Let's go. Oh. Oh. What are you doing here? Oh no.
Starting point is 00:14:51 The wizard. I'm mad at everything. Oh no. Oh no. Oh god, he's a pet you're a little brat. Oh, it's a little baby. His robes are just hanging off of him. He's so tiny.
Starting point is 00:15:00 The same head, tiny body. Yeah. Here, I know what to do. I'm like... Oh, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry just hanging off of him. He's so tiny. Same head tiny body. Yeah, here I know what to do and we just manifest an axe here and I'm just gonna chop them up That should have turned them into a bunch of tiny used doors I have a very important question
Starting point is 00:15:24 There's like a folklore on earth and I don't know if it's true or not. If you die in your dreams, do you die in real life? Oh, not yet. No. No. If you die in your dreams, you're fine. Oh, okay. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:15:38 But you stay, the dream gets real boring. Oh. There's no one there to experience it. Oh, boring here? Yeah, that's true. You know, if you want, we can go into some of the other rooms and... Yeah, let's just rifle through his dream stuff. Yeah, it's a ton of different rooms for his dreams.
Starting point is 00:15:53 Uh-huh. Each has a different set. I'm going to just look in this drawer. Oh. Oh wow, it's just a lot of... Pales of poop. Oh. That's one of his favorites.
Starting point is 00:16:04 Let's go to the mirrors. Where are the mirrors at? They're in the mirrored room. Come on. Let's one of his favorites. Let's go to the mirrors. Where the mirrors at? The mirror. We're in the mirrored room. Come on. Let me out of this room. Oh. Let me out of this room.
Starting point is 00:16:12 I'm spin-tax. The green. I'm the stupidest wizard I've ever lived. I'm pooping on myself. Because I'm spin-tax. But. This is sad. This is sad.
Starting point is 00:16:23 This room has just a poorly done mean caricature of spin-tax. Here I know what to do. I'm in a manifestate. Here we go. Manifesta washboard. I'm in a manifestate job. Oh no. Manifesta spoons.
Starting point is 00:16:37 I'm in some dream bleeding. You know, aren't you? Wait, wait, wait, dream bleeding. What does that mean? That's when one person bleeds into another person's dream. It's highly, highly unheard of. I must have fallen asleep when we dream. This is such a boring dream that you fell asleep.
Starting point is 00:16:54 Inside of the dream. So wait, if you fall asleep, if you have a dream inside of another dream, you're going deeper into the subconscious. Yeah, I fell asleep inside, use the door's head. Yeah, so you're dreaming inside his head inside of his body. This is You're so inside you said or right now deep inside you said or this is the chun story Oh, man, I just hope we don't go down enough levels that we get to a really boring winter level. Oh look at top
Starting point is 00:17:23 It won't stop spinning. What does that mean? I don't know. But you know what? Is there a bar in this, in Usador's dream world? I'm just thinking if we took a break and maybe got some drinks and refreshed ourselves. Oh, absolutely.
Starting point is 00:17:38 Yeah, you just, basically you just think of something and it appears right on the other side of the wall. Oh, great, okay. Well, let's take a real quick break and we'll be back. Before we do, could you just indulge me in at least blow once on the jug? Okay, yeah. This seems like you're pretty quick to dismiss. Oh no, I'm sorry.
Starting point is 00:17:57 My jug van dream. No, no, no, I'm sorry. Right. You know, maybe we're long less brothers. And we're back. Oh man, I'm very, I've never been in someone else's dream before. No, I do it all the time.
Starting point is 00:18:17 How did it take you long to get used to, like do you remember the first dream that you went into? Oh yeah, you know, know, it was a child. They always start you on kids dreams because you can't mess with those too much because the kids don't remember them. Oh wow, that's good to know. Yeah, young creatures dreams. And I remember there was several rabbits that turned into larger rabbits. That's like a basic kid's dream.
Starting point is 00:18:46 Oh yeah, absolutely. Yeah, you know what's interesting is you can't always tell from me inside if it's a dream or a nightmare because it's so much about perspective. Oh sure, absolutely. Threaded, do you have dreams in terms of aspirations? Oh yeah, you know, I would love to meet, you know, a nice creature and settle down. I'd like to get out of the climbing business because, you know, there's no end.
Starting point is 00:19:13 Yeah, yeah. There's not like, is there, there's not like a retirement from dream climbing? Oh, no, there's no retirement plan. Most dream climbers eventually go into dream weaving, which is, you know, the more creative side. But I have, I don't think that's going to happen for me. What are you going to do in 500 years with your next day off? Oh, you know, I don't like to plan too far in advance because, you know, by then, sure, who knows? Who knows? Who knows what will happen?
Starting point is 00:19:43 Do you ever meet other dream climbers while your dream climbers? You know as far as I know um no it's hard to tell you know because you don't want to ask everyone you meet like excuse me Are you a dream climber? Sure. Because even if they were they might not know it. Yeah, are they my just fuck with you? Exactly like yeah yeah exactly We better get out of here. We better get out I feel refreshed. Oh Thank God we made it out in time. Yeah, what would have happened if we hadn't made it out before he woke up? We would have died No, oh, yes, don't you know good to know if you climb into someone else's dream and they awake you die in that dream
Starting point is 00:20:24 Oh, yeah, can we talk about your dreams? I don't really remember my dreams that will except for the ones where I Defeat the dark Lord and become a thousand angels filled with fire and angst and righteous rage Well, these were close to that. Okay, it was mostly you being a petulant brat Okay, whining and screaming and making fun and spin-tax. And when I tried to chop you up into a bunch of tiny used adores, I just hacked you to pieces. That wasn't very nice of you, Jon. I'm sorry. Choo-choo. I thought it'd be fun, but it wasn't. Let's hug. Come here. I love you, Choo-choo. Oh, thank you. I'm not. I'm not.
Starting point is 00:21:01 I love you, Chuchma. Oh, thank you. Oh, thank you. Thera, I've got to ask, and do you ever go into people's sexy dreams? Oh, yeah. Yeah, there's a lot of what dreams. Yeah, and it's, you know, you slide around in them. That's a pretty good time.
Starting point is 00:21:19 Sure. Do you have a favorite kind of dream? Oh, you know, I love dreams that start off scary and get sexy. Are you just talking about sexy dreams? I mean, I was asking overall, but it's sure. Like, yeah, your favorite kind of sexy dreams, they start scary and they get sexy. Yeah, absolutely.
Starting point is 00:21:40 You know, Chuck makes an appearance in a lot of dreams here. Really? We live in a lot of dreams here. Really? We live in a very narcissistic society, and creatures like the idea of a hat copulating with themselves. Yeah, I probably just dump a bucket of water on them, get them wet. Make them dreams wet.
Starting point is 00:22:00 No, gross. Stop, never say that again. Get them wet, dreams. Oh, fool, fool. Well, for that, like you Girl, stop, never say that again. Get them wet dreams. Oh, the fool. Well, for that, like, you said you wanna, like, meet a creature or some kind. Is there any, like, type of creature, is there any criteria for, like,
Starting point is 00:22:13 who you wanna settle down with? Oh, just, you know, a nice, a nice good, a nice good, a nice good guy. It's hard, cause in dreams, all the good ones are taken, you know, by usually the person who's dreaming about them. Sure. Oh yeah. Can I just say I just want to extend, I mean I don't want to presume or you know,
Starting point is 00:22:32 I just want to extend an invitation of any time you want to come into my dreams and like, you know, get down or just like have a nice drink or something or talk. I'm, I'm, I'm, I shouldn't have led that one, but I just want you inviting for it into- Because am I- Because am I doing your dreams and have sex with you? Am I dreams if we have relations I don't change, so it might be a nice way to-
Starting point is 00:22:54 It's a good work on you. Yeah. Well, yeah, I'm really looking to something more committed. I appreciate you. Yeah, and I'll be good soon. Plus if you get pregnant, your dreams, you get pregnant in real life. That one is true. Oh, no. That one is true, yeah, and I'll be good soon. Plus if you get pregnant, your dreams, you get pregnant in real life. That one is true. That one is true. Yeah, and I am very fertile.
Starting point is 00:23:11 Well, Ferda, thank you so much for joining us. It's been, thank you for spending your one year, one hour every 500 years with us. It's been a ble- oh, I really should get company. Oh, no. He don't want to go back into, into baggle me thing, he said. What, what, what do you, you need me? No, no, he don't want to go back into baggle me thingy said. What do you need me? No, no I don't. Go back to sleep. No, I'll ask him. So Threda, come back anytime.
Starting point is 00:23:33 I mean, I know you said you're a begon for 500 years, but if that changes, come and look us up. If I get some time off, you know, I'll accidentally check back in because this has just been on me. Oh wow. Do you have someone. Oh, wow. Do you have someone? Oh, she's tearing up.
Starting point is 00:23:46 She's so touched. So, how do you have someone you answer to that you, you know, that you make it so you can't come out every, any earlier? Mm-hmm, the space in the clouds. Oh, the space in the clouds. Yeah. Oh, of course.
Starting point is 00:24:00 They're a real stickler for time management. Oh, yeah. Great. Well, Sean, do you have any emails for him? I absolutely do. This is an email from Odysseus. He writes, Hail and Well-Met, John, in Arnor. I have a question for the mighty Yusidor.
Starting point is 00:24:13 Hello, you need me. Yusidor, have you prepared a cool short speech that you would deliver moments before you smite the Dark Lord? We call them one-liners on earth and only our most powerful and daring warriors can pull them off. Well, of course I have such a speech prepared and I would love to recite it here, but sadly I cannot because it may reveal part of my secret machinations, my plans. I have many, many
Starting point is 00:24:43 plans of foot, many different ways I could possibly defeat the dark Lord I I may seem like a fool to you Arnold know that know that in every moment every wicked moment my entire body and brain and soul and heart are devoted defeating this dark Lord and when I do smite him I should look him in the eye and I shall recite to him my full name with all the names revealed And if I ever get a chance to defeat the dark lord, I'm just gonna be like boom fuck you dude Nice, that's pretty good. That is pretty good. All right here. I got some emails here You can be asked you know, but I think the people at home are like,
Starting point is 00:25:26 Arnie, please, have you got any emails? I see no evidence of that. Well, please email in if you're dying for Arnie to read emails. Yes, also go on iTunes and write us a review and say, Arnie, please read emails. You can email us at Magic Tavern at puppies.supplies. It's a really email address. Or you can email chunt at chvern at puppies.supplies. It's really
Starting point is 00:25:45 email address. Or you can email chunt at chunt with six teas at gmail.com or reach usador on Twitter. Yes, visit me in Twaterton at usador the blue. People, you know, I've been so caught up thinking about chunts curse that I haven't really spent as much time on my dungeon quest to get the Lunar Sword recently. But we ask people to send us riddles because we're sort of at a puzzle part. And let's... some people send us some riddles. So here's one. Here's your riddle. The music stopped. The woman dies. Why?
Starting point is 00:26:16 Because she loved music. This is from Sequoincidence. Sequoincidence. Fans low. An earther. It's a coincidence coincidence Yes, that's a great answer for most riddles You guys want to know the answer. What is your thought? I saw the answer. Oh It doesn't it. Here's the answer from the email the woman is a blindfolded tight rope walker at a circus The music ended a little early and she knew that she reached the end So she lost balance and fell to her death.
Starting point is 00:26:45 Well pretty straight forward. It's a classic. We should have guessed that. Classic riddle. Alright, here's one more real quick. Hey Arnie, so I have a logic puzzle like you asked for. A logic puzzle? A logic puzzle.
Starting point is 00:26:56 My logic puzzle is about a mysterious man from the halls of Monty who engages you in a game of chance. There are three doors behind two or goats and behind the third is a treasure chest. You get a pick a door and you get what's behind it. But after you pick your door, he reveals behind one door that you didn't pick is a goat. Then you can either stay with the door he originally picked or choose the other one. The question is which choice has a better chance of getting the treasure chest, sticking with your first guess or choosing the other remaining door. I think you go in that door that he opened for you and fuck that goat.
Starting point is 00:27:32 Yeah. Bing bong. Fair enough. Wait, so I definitely opened the door with a goat first. No, you open a door, you don't know, you pick a door, you don't know what it is. The two remaining doors, he says this one has a goat behind it. So it's now turned from a one and three chance to a 50-50 chance. I see. Do you stick with the original pick, or do you pick the other door?
Starting point is 00:27:57 You pick the other door. I, nay, I, I, remain with the door. I have already selected when the door opens, if there's a treasure chest there? I have one if there is a goat I Murder the goat and use its blood to cast a hex upon this man and then I open all the doors that I want I Think you're supposed to switch Because but I've had this conversation and I don't really remember you said it was not controlled by the laws of probability It's true. Do you think when you stop singing a milk, a cow is white as milk?
Starting point is 00:28:29 OK, I was white as milk. When you stop singing that as black as black, do you think every time you stop singing that, that a type of walker dies? No, no, that's awful. Someone just died. Oh, no. Because you stopped.
Starting point is 00:28:40 Hey, why is this top still spinning? Oh, no. How's he still on? He's still on his turn. Yeah, he's still on his turn. Oh! Oh! And so we drag our text imaginations out of Pretendville.
Starting point is 00:28:58 A place where having access to the entire dream realm still sounds like a perfunctory college admissions tour through a student dorm. Who knew the nocturnal psyche had so many muted wind chimes? Alright, let's see. Baggy Meefingers was Mr. Young, his personal friends can call him Matt, a character played with all the finesse and training of a pure regret. And Adel Ruffaie did portrait Chant with all the precision of this rhyme. Alright, don't give away all the goods.
Starting point is 00:29:31 Threat a Dream Climber was played by an exhausted Amanda Plummer, no wait, special guest Andeal Sudic. Find out where you can go see Andeal Perform by visiting her website YesAndeal.com. Okay, that's clever. Craig, remember what we learned at the corporate improv workshop? Green Bull! That's right, music by Andy Poland, logo by Aller LeBon, extra sound design by Jason Knox.
Starting point is 00:29:54 I'm here, too. Visit us at aloefromthemagictavern.com or on Facebook or Twitter. Oh, and thanks, of course, to Earwolf and Chicago Podcast Co-op. Visit them at ChicagoPodcastCoop.com. at www.chicagopodcastcoop.com Oh, Green Bull! Green, red, green, green, the bell! Green, f-fuck, damn it, damn it! Alright, Craig, time to start writing those letters
Starting point is 00:30:13 to all those children who were really hoping that would improvise that kill speech. Can't you hear them now? It was just one line! Just one line.

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