Hello From The Magic Tavern - 74 - Letters and Packages

Episode Date: August 8, 2016

Time to catch up on our many letters and packages.CreditsArnie: Arnie NiekampChunt: Adal RifaiUsidore: Matt YoungBlemish: Martin WilsonTricia: Kate JamesKern: Spencer HamMysterious Man: Tim SniffenCraig: Ryan DiGiorgiProducers: Arnie Niekamp, Evan Jacover, Ryan DiGiorgiEditor: Chris RathjenTheme Music: Andy PolandMagic Tavern Logo: Allard LabanAudio Assistance: Jason KnoxProduction Assistance: Garrett SchultzYou can support the show directly and receive bonus episodes and rewards by joining our Patreon at https://www.patreon.com/magictavern for only $5 per month. Follow us on Twitter and Instagram, and now Patreon!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Since his death in 2009, the world has struggled with how Michael Jackson should be remembered, as the King of Pop, or as a monster. The new podcast Think Twice, Michael Jackson, offers a fresh perspective on the art and the artist, his life, his work, and his legacy. Listen to Think Twice, Michael Jackson, wherever you get your podcasts. Academy is a new scripted podcast that follows Ava Richards, a brilliant scholarship student attending Bishop Gray Academy, the and Add Free on Wondering Plus. The following podcast is not real, but it is a proud member of the skin shrimp whoops

read that wrong, the earwolf network. And it really is sponsored by Cards Against Humanity. If you send a letter or package to Cards Against Humanity 1917 North Elston, Chicago, Illinois 60642, care of Arnie Neekam, Vermillion Minotaur, town of Hogg's Face, land of Foon. They'll make sure he gets shoved through that portal behind the

Burger King and to Arnie and his friends at the Vermillion Minotaur and enjoy the show. Hello from the Magic Tavern! A weekly podcast from the magical land of Foon. I'm your host Arne and you camp. If you've never listened to this podcast before, this is what's going on. You probably got it from podcaching software that sends the audio file to your computer or maybe directly to your phone.

Then you hit play and that goes through your listening device, your phones. I guess you could just play it directly from the phone. This audio thing, so it's not just this one audio file though. It's a series of audio files that are on a sort of a feed, so you can subscribe to that and then you can get numerous episodes, a serialized version of these episodes from your podcasting software. Probably iTunes, maybe Stitcher, maybe Google Play, something like that, so that's really all you need to know. And I'm joined as always. What's that? like that. So that's really all you need to know.

And I'm joined as always. It's gone into you. What's that? What's going into you? I don't understand what you're talking about. That was the first time any of this show has made sense to me. Yeah, I finally get it. You finally understand the show.

What have you been saying that? You understand this show set in a magical world that I am uploading back to Earth, the world I've come from? Yeah, that was distinct. It was clear, it was everything I wanted. Great! Well, I'll start saying that every week. Pod catching software! Hmm, Stitcher!

And I'm joined as always by these fucking goons. Chunk the King of the Badgers. Blingblong. Blingblong? Yes. Just adding some Ls to your catchphrase. Why the hell not? Oh, that's true. And I am also joined by the wizard Yusidor. I of course am Yusidor and I couldn't be happier to be here with my good friends Arnold and my friend Shunt.

Hi this evening we shall interview the most interesting person you have ever met. I, Arnold, only use your amazing pod catching software. For Arnold has some treat in store for you, some denizen of food that you cannot even imagine. So and so bizarre and strange and even I, who have seen so much food, shall be dazzled by this person. Yeah, I gotta say after that intro, I am more ready than ever to talk to someone to help interview. I am pumped. Yeah, again, if you're new to the podcast every week, you know, we're in this magical tavern and we have guests on and I interview them and learn more about the world of

fune. You're going back to the old intro. The... You might as well just say year and some change. A year and some change a year and a half. I fell through a dimensional portal behind a burger king. Look, guys, what I'm saying saying is I try to change it up But there are certain things there look when people listen to this podcast

There's one stretch of talking that they want to hear and if they don't hear that You should know his name. No, I'm talking about the part where I described the podcast and how about a year and a half ago I fell through a dimensional portal behind a burger king into the fantastical end of food. Luckily, I'm still getting a slight Wi-Fi signal from the burger king through the dimensional rift. I used that to upload a podcast that I record every week here in the town. Why do you say slight signal?

I feel like it's, those little stuff we get, it's pretty strong. We do, it's very intermittent. That's the weird thing. What? Oh, you said, are you fell asleep? Oh, sorry, I was asleep for a few minutes, so. Wow, he set up at 90 degrees.

He did, he was, I'm surprised he didn't shoot out of the roof. Oh, luckily I did not. Yeah, oh, boy. Well, anyway, I don't have a guest this week. I wasn't able to get a guest for the podcast. It's just us. But, um, boy's night. Boy's night.

Boy's night. Yeah, the tavern, I mean, lately it's been very been very busy like busier than usual and kind of a weird way But for some reason the last couple days it's just been almost completely empty. I there's been much more traffic in Out of the tavern for their dark forces of foot Men in dark Cloaks and women with ill intentions, elves with not put evil in their eyes and dwarves shopping in their axes with a thirst for blood. Why isn't that?

Is it just because they're sort of some political unrest in Foon in general? The dark Lord's machinations. And now with Good King, Al being Bellaroth past a way, what chance have all the little children and animals and food to survive? For sure they soon shall be. Yeah, probably.

Probably. Seems like it. Well, look, guys, we don't have a guest this week. We can spend some time together. You know, you guys get yourself a drink. I'll give myself a little red potion. And we have all of these emails and packages. Let's not just have a boy's night. Let's have a Letters and Packages night.

Mmm, Letters and Packages night. Letters and Packages night. Letters and Packages night. You said, what's up with you? What is up with me? I'll tell you what's up with me. I am not going to speak aloud when somebody dark and devious sorts are circling about the tavern with their hoods pulled over their faces, with their chicannery and their evil plannings going on.

I shall protect myself, and I shall wait until them makes a mistake. So you're just going to whisper the rest of the podcast? I might. Oh great. and I shall wait to have them make some mistake. So you're just gonna whisper the rest of the podcast? I might. Oh great. Well let's dig into some of these packages. Chump, do you have any packages? Well yeah, I got a big package here.

Let's see this is from Tori. Hi Arnie Chon Yusidor, greetings from the foraflana of Dallas, Texas, where our summers are nearly as warm as Vichtosh. I hope this package finds you well and everything is going well in Foon. So here's some, pass out your little, there's little packages within the package. Arnie, I got you a mug reminding you that even if you can't be with your daughter, you're still a great dad.

Oh, I got a mug that says, I'm a dad. What's your superpower? That is awesome. I'm gonna put my red potion into this mug. That's so charming. She also got you some Wate burger spicy ketchup. Thank you. I can try to make the food here a little more palatable

by putting this on top of it. She says, you said, or I got you a magic mug fill it with hot water and you'll see. Oh, let's see. Scott Words on the outside. It says, Doctor, who?

Who? What's the answer? There is no answer. It's a it's a popular sort of magical creature from earth dr. What? No, it's a dog his name is just the doctor doctor what what's a magical power? Well, he has time traveling powers. Oh, so he's sort of like can the wizard only not as cool Okay, go with that. Chant, your mug and gift both reflect how kingly you are. I didn't know if you already had a royal scepter, so in case you didn't know you do.

And I got a mug here that says it's good to be king. It's a little crown, and I got a royal scepter. Right. Oh, whack you in the face here. I feel like, so mine is, I'm a dad, what's your super power? Chant years is yours is about being a king. You said I feel like they, I mean, first of all, these are awesome, but it also feels like they're sort of like, I don't know what to get you said or I like Doctor Who, I'll send

them with Doctor Who mug. But you say he's a wizard of sorts. He is a sort of wizard of sorts, that's true. So that's, I see the parallel. Yeah, and he's a wizard of sorts, he's delightful, but he's also like been around forever. We share much in copy. Yeah, I guess that's true. Yeah, well thank you, Torrey.

That was wonderful of you. I'm gonna get some King's use in my mind. All right, hey, let's look at some of these emails that I've gotten. Again, you can email me at MagicTaver and at puppies.supplies. It's a really email address. We've kind of gotten really behind on emails lately. I try to read all of them. I'm sorry, we'll never be able to read all of them on the

podcast. I can help you with reading. Oh, you can read them. I can read. Yeah, yeah. Okay, here's one. Greetings and good tidings. I have the most common name on earth, Mike Smith.

Yeah, Mike Smith, which I know is not one of the names that we've said are the names on earth. So who is this charlatan? To make matters worse, my father is John Smith. This most common name has been a curse I hear by challenge Yusudor. To any competition he may have for his name. Such a name would be the end of a lifelong quest to climb out of mediocrity, and since I'm probably a better wizard than him. Ooh boy. Oh.

The Dark Lord would not be much hassle for me. Peace out Foon folk from Mike Smith. Mike Smith wants your name, buddy. Uh, Mike Smith. You said you're not using it. I feel like you're not, I feel like you got this long name. I feel like you're not using it right now lately. No, no, no, no, no.

Let's understand something. Your name is Mike Smith. Right now, lately. Yeah, wizard fights? Wait, I've just lied because there'd only be one wizard in that fight. It would be the lamest of wizard fights for I would smite you. I would turn you into a flock of seagulls and then I would set the seagulls on fire. And then I would take the ashes of what's left of those birds, and I would create a clay sculpture of your face, and then I would write dick on the face, and then I would punch the clay sculpture,

and then I would bury it in the ground. And then we're on so far away. I would run so far. And you know what else, Mike? Why don't you bring your dad, John Smith, tell him to meet me just around the river bend And I'm gonna knock him out cold. Look let's not get on the wrong side of the Smiths, all right? We're gonna make him sad Sorry, I'm sweet guy a little worked up. I'm sorry. Yeah, we don't know what's going on in their life

You're right. They can have any kind of they can have a girlfriend in a coma. I feel dizzy Yes, you're right. They're just people made out of meat and meat is murder. Yeah That's true. But here's the thing, you said, or that challenge seems kind of impossible. Do you have an email challenge for Mike Smith for your name? An email challenge. A challenge between you and Mike Smith to see if he can win your name. And Mike Smith, I'm really sorry that I feel like we really marred your name.

I suppose if he were to email us at MagicTavron at puppies.supplies. Is that our email address? That is our email address. I don't mention it very often. MagicTavron at puppies.supplies. If you were to email us again and say, oh I don't know, uh, show me a picture of the amazing magical rocks he's collected or... I do not encourage him to send you a picture of his rocks Oh, perhaps you know destroying some great structure with his staff on his wand These all he's I did not want to see I'm the one that's gonna have to look at these pictures Oh, perhaps you know, you don't send a picture of your staff or your wand

Perhaps, you know, he- Don't send a picture of your staff or your wand. Perhaps even if he was able to some way, use his magical powers to, you know, find a, just some random object, a normal object, you're a cucumber and sit on it and make it disappear. Okay, yes, Mike Smith. Send us a picture of you sitting on a cucumber and making it disappear,

and you can have useadot's full name. And I challenge his dad John Smith to a painting contest. We'll see who can paint with more colors of the wind. And I actually want to say something to the Smiths just in general. If there's something you want to try, ask me, I won't say now, how could I? Excellent point. Let's take a quick break. break. Let's uh, I'm gonna get a little more red potion in this. I'm a dad. What's your superpower mug? And um, use it or, what hot drink are you drinking? Ah, some hot cider. Ooh.

The cider it was the middle of summer. Time for some hot cider. Mm-hmm. Perfect. Yes, in my doctor who mug. Let me get some more kings, use it in my it's good to be king. Oh look! This blue box disappeared here and appeared on the other side! This is blemish, the new ruler of the Vameleon Minotaur.

Calm every night for food and drink and conspiracy. We now have a kid's menu, if you enjoy eating children. The Vameleon Minototaur located on Blade Road. This came with the packages, but it's more of a letter in shape. Open it here. There we go. There's a thick card underneath and then a note on top of those. Oh, there's more, I see. Yes. Uh, hey, Arnie, Yusodoh and Chant. My sister and I are huge fans of the podcast.

After hearing the news about King Albain's passing, I felt the need to send cards of sympathy to Tom Blaine and Princess Trakia, Aralia. Could you buy Chant's pass these along to them? And don't worry, I didn't give away what really happened. I also have to ask, did Doves Cry when King Albein passed as was prophesized? Love always shall be. Yes, of course, the Doves Cry.

We really dropped the ball in that one. Yeah. Also, I've gotten a few emails. I don't have them in front of me where people asking if Tom Blaine had did the thing that he had to do after his father, King Albane dies. The bad dance? He's going to a cave at doing the bad dance. Yes, I don't know. I forgot about that one myself. I'm sure you guys did, because that's just common fun lore.

Well, with Tom Blaine being undercover, I don't know if he did it or not, he might have done it in secret. You know, I gotta be honest, Tom Blaine bellerop is deep undercover in Shrike right now, you know, trying to spy on the Baron, and I don't even know if he knows his father is dead yet. Are you telling this, Ash? We know that.

Look, I'm just saying, I'm just, I like to sometimes throw out things, I like to call you, your name, you, Sador, and I like to call you, Chant, like in a natural way that people always do. Like this is just a cotton normal top. This is natural, aren't you? Yeah, this is natural, aren't you? Here are the cards for Tricky Arrea and the first one here is for Tom Blade. In the loss of your father, it's very beautiful, egg shell colored card with leaves on the front

that are falling, Tom. Though there's so little one in Duosay made help to know that others care. In deepest sympathy, and then that part is printed by as if a printing press had done it and then underneath written in hand writing is at least your father died peacefully And in no way was murdered by a curse placed on the king of the Badgers being transferred to him She'll be sounds good checks out. Yeah, good. It missed direction pretty subtle I also like the leaves on the front falling. It looks like there's all all seven of them

I want to watch them fall and the card for Princess Tricky are really on the front says congrats Oh Has some stars their purple ones and gold ones. It's very beautiful very amazing printing you your world is very good at Creating objects. Yeah. Oh, yeah. It's almost like we've got industries around all of these things. Yes, yes. This is not handmade. No. There are, I'm going to tell you, that card, right,

that says, congrats with all the stars on the front. That's amazing. There are thousands upon thousands of identical cards to that in my world. How do they get it the same every time? They have them, do you have machines? There's just a magical box that just poops them out. Oh, that makes sense.

Also, how are there that many things on Earth that weren't congrats? Earth sounds amazing. I mean, it's, it's really, we're just really too quick to congratulate things. Princess Tracier, you deserve every ounce of happy you feel right now. Now that your father is dead, all your dreams can come true, Shelby. Wow, Shelby, that's a very validating message. If next time we see, either of those two will make sure to pass along your card. I love that, guys.

If anyone wants to send us cards or messages to any of the characters in Foon, characters, to any, I mean, you know, like they're all like- You're a bit of a character, be honest. Come on. If they want to send it to any of the people in Foon that we've met so far, like we can't promise we'd get into them quickly, but yeah, send along. They don't want to just send stuff to us.

And if it's, in fact, it stops sending stuff for Chant. Hey, you know what, I got another email here. People send in all these emails with these really important questions. Here's one from Clint Chalac. I'm sorry, Clint, if I'm pronouncing that wrong. Clint Chalac here, who has more teeth? Yousador or a chunt? Between the two, who has more fine cutlery? Question mark, thanks Clint. I think I would win on both counts. I have drawers and drawers full of teeth back home. And cutlery, yes, I have every type of fork ever created.

When you told people it stops sending stuff to me, why did you say that? I don't know, I'm just an example. Do you have jealousy on earth? Do I? Yes, oh we do have jealousy on earth. I feel like people should continue to send me stuff and they might send me a card. No, I'm joking. And perhaps I think it's my birthday put five gold coins in there, like my grandma used to do. Yeah. And that would be nice. Yeah, no, I'm, please keep setting stuff to the channel.

Show grandma the still with us. No, she lives somewhere else. Okay, I got an email here. This is to chunt at gmail.com, of course, channel 60s. This is from Rachel Lobo. Uh, says hello from Canada. Hi, Arnie, you store in Chant. My name is Rachel.

I am from a part of Earth called Canada. You've told us before about Canada. I adore the podcast. Getting to hear from the three of you all the way in Fune is a highlight of my week. I have a question for chunt. I know that you have become a king of the badgers, but you are a shape shifter. If you decide to sleep with a non-badger, does that mean that you are no longer able to be king of the badgers? Good question. I get a lot of emails about that actually. Oh, I'm afraid to ask them.

I assume if I... Here's my question. Do the badges know that you are not even really a badger? You are just in the form of a badger. They know I am a ship-shifter. Oh, okay. I think they, honestly, I think they were taking pity on me when they knew I was cursed and dying.

And so they're like, well, let's go to the King's spot. It won't last a year. Yeah, well, now the King's for a while. Yeah, and now it's like, you know, the King is gonna live a while. So, yeah, do you worry that the badgers are a little impatient that you're still alive? I don't, sometimes I'll wake up and I'll be in my, you know, my, my sort of corner, hovel, and I'll wake up and I'll see one of them

over me with like a knife. And then when I wake up, they're like, oh, just just bringing you some some food and they're like putting some butter on it Oh, how nice and I'm like, where's the food and butter and like I forgot that yeah, I'll run back Then you're like, why are you buttering it over your head? Yeah, I don't know so it is a weird thing But Be careful be careful buddy. No, I got it. All right. You don't put a thing over your head I don't butter thing over my head. What if you drop some of the butter?

It falls on the ground. What a waste of butter. You'd rather have it in your hair? Absolutely. Hey! Let's have another email here. Hello, Arnie, Yusidor, and Chant. I'm Eve from Kansas City. I've been wanting to find a new place to move for some time now. Foon sounds amazing. However, I do have one concern. I'm a trans woman and I was

wondering the public opinion on people like me. So far, Foon seems to be super chill and open, but you never know. Is physical transition simplified by magic or is it an expensive and slow process like on earth? Are people going to dictate what chamberpots I use? Are my job people going to dictate what chamber pots I use? Are my job opportunities going to be limited? Thank you ahead of time for your answers sincerely, Eve. I guess I maybe have to explain what trans is on my world. And I, first of all, before I say anything,

I want to apologize if I accidentally use any kind of wrong terminology or something. But my basic understanding is people are born one physical gender. They feel and believe that they are truly another gender. And so through various means and to various degrees, transition to the gender they believe they are. Oh, we have that. Oh, you do? Yeah, we have a saying where we believe that if you're trans and you whatever you want to become

You are that the phrase as we say it is trans and trans and That's great. I like that a lot. So instead of saying like I am trans you'd say trans and that's you're just taking ownership of You as a person in person wow, so the trans people in FUNA are like the coolest people on the road Yeah, I guess I'm a little bit. Yeah, absolutely. But they maybe get more speeding tickets. Maybe. Now, you said this young lady's name was Eve.

Eve, yes. Oh, it's a lovely name. Yes, of course you would be accepted here. We would love to have you come to the Vermilion Minotaur. And often there are even people who switch back and forth, such as Chant himself. I, as a shapeshifter. Yeah. But yes, yes, of course.

All people are welcome to be whatever makes them feel most proper. Yeah, if you're trans or if you're a former trans, like a transformer, you are welcome. You are welcome anywhere in food. I mean, we don't, yeah, there's no discrimination. Yeah, that's great. Even what if they're, but what if they're really deceptive? And con- And you said that con-

So I will not settle for a decepticon in my presence. Look, Foon, look, there's a lot of bad things about Foon, like a lot of child death, a lot of child death. The food is uniformly awful, except for a little bit I've had in the South. How dare you. But you know what I mean? Like the very, I love how sort of accepting

the people of food for the most part are about, you know, people being people. Now there are still issues. There are still people with small minds that we cannot control. Yeah. Certainly you saw that the sheriff herself had a very difficult time

and it was herself disguised as a man for a long period of time. Yeah. For those who are around her in law enforcement did not accept her. Yeah, that's true. So there is still inequality and we shall fight to or come at. Also, I mean, you know, Yusador is racist against orcs.

That is not true. They are evil. They're all evil. Every single last one of them. All 20,000 roaring orcs? All 20,000 roaring orcs. All 20,000 roaring orcs. And if they come up onto my lawn again, and if they're caught doing donuts and leave a mess up my lawn, I swear to food.

Also, I'm gonna own this. I'm still coming to terms with sword sex. I'm still coming to terms with how that works, but that's something for me to work on. You got up guys, you got to put that stuff behind you. Like, I have an orc friend. I know, I know, he's dating a friend of mine, her name is Mindy, and when Orc and Mindy come around,

I feel like it's just a beautiful thing. Like, they're just gonna make these beautiful babies, and I just feel like it's a really cool, unique thing. Be, do you? Oh great, you're that guy, oh, I've got that one orc friend, I feel like he's not in your own place. Oh, no, no, I'm totally in line I've got that one orc friend. I feel like he's not in your eyes. No, no, I'm totally in line.

I've got one orc friend. I'll own this. I am intolerant of evil. I have an email here from Monroe. It says, hey, baby, Deer Spadger Meefingies. My name is Samuel and I'm a Spaniard. Spain is a kingdom that is over 4,000 miles away from Chicago. Yes, it's literally...

I said Chicago almost every episode of this podcast. Oh, maybe I'm not listening. Yes, it literally is a kingdom in Earth in 2016. Anyway, just thought you guys would like to know that you're reaching a global audience on Earth, even among those who have humanish as a non-primary language. What do you know about, can you tell us a little bit about Spain? I don't know that much about Spain. It's on a continent called Europe.

And is that like, hey Europe, like where is going next in that? Well, it's in a continent called Europe and they are sort of a collection of countries and they of all, you know. Just collecting them. They sort of all got together, each other, sort of feeling like if all these countries were together

in some sort of union that they would be better off altogether and they will all stay together forever. So on earth, not everyone can actually form a union, yeah, they can get married. Sort of, yeah. It's a big old marriage of countries. They're all happy together. They, you know, none of them, but they're never going to get to the level.

We'll never leave. No one will leave. Thank you for talking about us stuff, but you avoided John's question. Which was, is it like you're up? Yes. Not even a joke. Just an observation. The answer is yes.

Okay. And also, he says here, tell you, Sador, his name sounds even more awesome in Spanish. Oh, well, I would like to hear that. If you would like to hear that, if someone Monroe or whoever would like to send us Yusudor's name or recording of that in an email, can they do that? Is that a thing? I would love in different languages. Look, as I've said, the Wi-Fi signal we get is a little bit spotty. It's weird the things that do come through and the things that get blocked. It's almost, some people would say, weirdly convenient.

But if you've got a cool accent, you're from another country, you record yourself saying, you said or his name, I wanna hear it. Yes, please send it to us. I would love to hear it. And do it soon, because Mike Smith might end up taking you said or his name away.

I, it's not impossible, but it's unlikely. So you said or hisuttle fight Mike Smith I got to fight John Smith Arnie. Are you an Arnor? We're gonna face off. You know what it has been More than half a year. Oh, I don't want to like I it's almost like I don't want to say it because I don't want to bring it into existence Arnor is supposed to come back and kill me and I'm sure I don't have more feet than him. Oh It's possible that he's trapped in some dungeon Eden now and I'm sure I don't have more feats in any. Oh, it's possible that he's trapped in some dungeon Eden now,

preparing to escape and add another amazing feat to his list of feats. And he know he's gonna show up and just like point it to you and be like, you're up. Guys, I feel like we've barely read any letters or opened any packages on letters and packages tonight. Cause you've been talking the whole time. I mean, big mouth strikes again.

Oh, great. Let's quick rip through a couple of emails here. Let's see, here, first, I have to say, Yusidor is awesome, and my favorite person on the podcast, wrong, but I noticed something strange today in the early episodes, Yusidor refers to himself as Grandmaster of Light and Shadow, but now he just says Master of Light and Shadow

did something happen. Or is it just a save time? Thank you for taking time to read my nonsense, keep up the great work, Cody. Yeah, when you say Grandmaster for just like a flash and then it went to just Master. That's right, I felt it was just ostentatious. So you weren't demoted.

It was a personal choice. I'm not demoted, it was a personal choice. I am the Master of light and shadow. To say it is grand is very true. Sure. But is there a level of light and shadow mastery above grandmaster? No. Like great grandmaster. No. I'm it. That's it. That's it. I'm on top. You're on top.

I'm on top, baby. I got an email here from Chris Meal Beady. Says, Hi, Chunts. My husband who is a second-hand listener to my podcast has taken to calling our cat chunt see attached picture of our cat Ang this has triggered me to wonder chunt. Have you ever been a cat? I have not been a cat that would be something I would be interested in there's a lot of cats around here Yeah, you could become a cat. Yeah, you could live amongst the cats that follow and work for blemish. You could be kind of a cat spy.

Ooh, and I'd have so many memories. Yeah, and you would be, you know, you could learn more about blemish. You should think about doing it. Yeah, but then I might not be king of the badgers. Who's blemish? blemish. blemish.

Runs blemish is that creepy dwarf that guy's- Blumish? Every time he talks, the cat comes out of his mouth. Yeah, but when I have to come out of Blumish's mouth, if I became a cat, it's possible. I did not sign in for it. It is possible. Think about it. Ah, boy, I don't think.

Think about becoming a feelings, I like. Alright, one last email. My name is Wes, and I like Arnie Dwell in the Land of America. My sophomore English teacher, also a big fan of the podcast, showed my class this podcast. I, among others, took fast to it and have been caught all the way up until now. Great, I'm glad that this podcast is finally being taught in school. That's so educational, that teacher should be fired. It has spread like a plague through our early college.

Arnie, I'm sure it's familiar with the rock band called the Foo Fighters. Has there been a moment where you Arnie have mentioned them? No. And if not, on next week's episode, is there a way to work it into the podcast? Alright, Wes, I will mention the Foo Fighters in next week's episode. Thank you for the countless laughs and the great funny tweak. I hope that Arnie can get back home to his wife and daughter, your fan, Wes. The phone fighters? Nope, guys, guys, guys.

Next week, next week. Well, that's enough of the storytelling equivalent of dropping a bag of ball bearings into a cage with an angry hamster. Because remember, none of that really happened. Usador the Wizard was played by Matt Young, the man whom they say is the reason microphones have gain control. Shunt, the King of the Badgers was played by... Whoops, sorry I just lost interest in what I was doing, but kept doing it anyway, a trick I learned from Adel Rafaia.

And blemish, the creepy temporary caretaker of the Vermilion Minotaur, was played by a real life, creepy temporary caretaker, Martin Wilson. Hello from the Magic Tavern is produced by Evan. We have another distress call from the Grass-Forn Galaxy. Ah, yes, the one where Trisha 8049 is stranded with that Kern guy. Go ahead and play it. Hello, is anybody out there? This is Kern from the... From the Grass-Forn Galaxy, I have a major announcement to make. I... I... I'm in love!

I bit up in last night. Trisha! I met happen last night. Trisha and I finally did the deed. I walked her home, which her room is just five feet away from mine. And I walked her to her cot, and I... I said my feelings. I felt so good, and she looked at me, and she gave me the sign, and I kissed her on the lips and it was glorious and she's so wonderful and beautiful and lovely and smart and kind and I really

really hope that someone hears listening because I want the whole I want the whole gross one galaxy to know this that she's the best person in the world I love Trisha. Oops, okay, maybe I shouldn't drop the O-Pom so quickly. But I feel that way, you know? These feelings are real. Anyway, this is not a distress call. It's more of like a, uh, move a happy call.

Uh, peace out. Well, that love story is moving at a glacial pace. I think it's kinda sweet. Ah, that must be my next appointment. She's a few weeks later than usual. Must make a note of that. I could have cleaned this place up if I knew we were gonna have guests. You may enter the inner sanctum.

Um, excuse me. I'm here about the internship. Tricia? Yeah, hi. I'm Tricia. Welcome, Tricia. Why don't you come this way and we'll begin the interview process. It would mean an awful lot to me to get this internship.

I'd practically kill for this kind of opportunity. Oh yes, I'm sure you have, I mean, will, I mean, would. Follow me. I'm really confused. Maybe finishing the post show credits will calm me down. Hello from the Magic Tavern was produced by Arnie Neacamp, Evan Jacober, and Rihendy Georgie, this one edited by Chris Raphchen, music by Andy Poland, logo by Allard LeBon, additional audio effects by Jason Knox, production assistants by Garrett Schultz.

Visit us at hellofromthemagictavern.com or on Facebook or Twitter, thanks to the Chicago podcast co-op and thanks to Earwolf. Okay Greg, a tricious filling out her V1 form. That should keep her busy for a while. Why are you letting her back in here after she almost killed you? Isn't she supposed to be in another galaxy right now? Oh, Craig, you credulous buffoon. That was Trisha 8049.

This is Trisha 8050, our next Trisha. Oh, yeah, that's right. That room full of dead...trishers. I should've probably asked about that before now. It usually doesn't end well, but I'm an eternal optimist. Okay, I can see what's happening here. It may all seem strange to you, Craig, but these cloning experiments are super important and super secret. Well, then should we be recording this?

Oh, don't worry, no one lists this far into the credits anyway. And for anyone whose morning commute is actually this long, their soul has been far too crushed to sort out this conspiracy.