Hello From The Magic Tavern - INTERLUDE - Chicago

Episode Date: February 27, 2017

This week on WKRH, guest host Sarah Maher discusses her paranormal disappearance and cross stitching.CreditsSarah Maher: Sarah MaherAdal Rifai: Adal RifaiInta and Nerf: Marla Caceres and Eddie PiñaGreg: Arnie NiekampBarbara: Matt YoungMysterious Man: Tim SniffenCraig: Ryan DiGiorgiProducers: Arnie Niekamp, Evan Jacover, Ryan DiGiorgiEditor: Ryan DiGiorgiTheme Music: Andy PolandMagic Tavern Logo: Allard LabanAudio Assistance: Jason KnoxProduction Assistance: Garrett SchultzYou can support the show directly and receive bonus episodes and rewards by joining our Patreon at https://www.patreon.com/magictavern for only $5 per month. Follow us on Twitter and Instagram, and now Patreon!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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The following podcast is...real. It's really happening. Go ahead and take it seriously. Whoa, wait, are you sure you want to say that? Well think about it, Craig. We're not getting a signal from other places. Why not check it on the wife, living in where was it again? Swamp Onion Town?

No wait, Chicago. Yep, but aren't we worried about Hogsface and the Dark Lord? Look, I can't take all of that on right now, but people have their commute, or 40 minute period of staring towards the horizon wondering what went wrong to get through, and dammit we're going to distract them. So people of Earth enjoy this very real, very Earth-specific show. Hello from Chicago. I'm Sarah Mauer coming to you live from the Wicked Nitter Radio Hour and Chicago Radio Network. If you've never tuned in before, this is a live stream that my friend Shirley runs,

and she gave me an hour because I need to solve some mysteries. About two months ago, I lost a week of time. I don't know what happened. It's a total memory loss. I'm not sure if I was abducted by aliens or what, but I do know that whatever happened, I'm now somehow an expert sword fighter. So that's clue. I'm looking for help and I instilled one of my greatest buddies to come and help me. And that is my man, Adel Rufai. Adel, welcome to the Wicked Knitter radio hour. Greetings, thanks for having me.

It's a pleasure to be on. Thank you. I feel like I would be remiss if I didn't ask you what your favorite stitches? My favorite stitch is probably, I think, classic like cross stitch. A cross stitch? Okay, so you're not much of a kn think classic like cross stitch. A cross stitch. Okay, so you're not much of a knitter. Is cross stitch not a knitting stitch? No, cross stitch is cross stitch.

Okay, if I'm being honest, I've never knitted. Cool. Cool, cool. There's only two types of stitches and I only know how to do one. So if anyone knows how to do the one that looks like these, give us a call. Okay. the one that looks like these give us a call. Okay, so Adel, why don't you give the listeners a little view onto what happened that week that I was quote unquote gone from your perspective. Like basically, I just want someone to confirm, like you never saw me, right? No, I didn't. And we usually, I mean,

we usually meet up maybe two times a week for lunch and everything. So I didn't see it all. You didn't and we usually I mean we usually meet up maybe two times a week for lunch and everything so I didn't see it all You didn't you didn't answer your text you didn't answer your emails. Here's the thing you saw Arnie, right my husband Oh, that's right. Yeah, I did see Arnie That's so weird. I haven't seen him for two years. You know, it's funny. Oh my god. You're right He did didn't he'd like disappear. I know you know what I went to your home. I knocked on the door looking for you He answered the door and seemed thrilled to see me and I I said, is Sarah here? And he said, no. And I just said, well, and walked away. I've oh my gosh. I totally forgot. He's been missing for two years. You know what? That's okay. I kind of, you know, I scooted along the days. Yeah. But I

really, I mean, I like him what we used to do in Proff together. You know, we did a real this tonight. We did. Yeah, yeah. We did that for several years and then at some point he kind of stopped doing it and then I guess yeah I just stopped seeing him so when he's disappeared for two years I just you know you just accept the new normal, you know totally new norm, but what happened that week? Well, what did I do? I'm well as you know I may be kind of a big Vocal actor in the city known for my different, you know, accents and voices that I can put on. So I know the Wicked knitting circle is a place of honesty. You have one great cockney accent, and that's it.

Do I? There it is. There is my man. And in that, in that wake, I I did I did some vocal hosting for this game called guest binage Which is a Jackbox game went very well. They've read what's Jackbox? Jackbox is a who do I know there? I know someone there, but it's like a it's like a game. It's like they do video games that Who deal did didn't is didn't a name didn Dill in? Oh, Ryan to Georgie. Ryan to Georgie. I love that guy. I love that guy. But, yeah, I did that.

Also, I do a podcast with my sister called Siblings Pecky Lair, and that got option for a movie. So, I just kind of unemployed, you know, just kind of raking in the money. Raking in the job. All right. So, we should let everyone know that the phone lines are open We are trying to solve the mystery of what happened the week that I was gone. Did you see me on the street? Did you see me eating a girl cheese? Did you see me on the bus eating a girl cheese?

Nits, stitches and pearls, oh, oh my gosh. Did you hear that? Okay, okay, okay. Did you say Neil Perth stitches? He said knit stitches and purl stitches. Those are the two stitches. I think you referenced rush drum or Neil Perth. Did he? Maybe. Okay, here's the thing. You heard that, right?

I heard something. That voice has been following me around ever since I lost that week. I mean, it's either a wizard or Santa. I don't know which one. How was it to talk to you? On what site you've gone made? Ah, there it is!

Love it! Seriously, it talks to me. It's, we have great chats, and then sometimes he just comes in and out, and he's like, what do you just said, like what knitter-curl? Oh my God, you're being serious. He says the way.

Yes. Are you able to communicate with him? Does he respond to you? Yes, sometimes he's a little more lucid than other times and sometimes he's real jake Amarlie about it and clanking chains and all that. Jesus Christ, Sarah, oh my, we need to get you to a doctor or something. Do you have a concussion? Are you okay?

If I'm concussed, how did you also hear it? Yeah, that's right. I didn't think about that. Maybe you both have a concussion. Maybe earlier when I dropped my glasses, then we both reached for them. Yeah. And we knocked heads.

Maybe we both concussed ourselves. What if that was just one of those cartoon birds? Oh boy, I thought I thought I put it at. See, I just say, oh there, there you go. That's good. You should put that on your resume. All right, so we are taking calls, taking calls. We should probably just sit here quietly and wait, huh? Oh yes, no wait, that's a call.

Hello, caller, this is Sarah Marron, Wicked Nitter Radio Hour with Adel Rify. Alright, yeah, I'm just calling in to say that I did not see you that week. Oh, thank you, and who do we have the pleasure of speaking with? What's your name? Heck! My name is Greg. Greg, Greg, where are you calling from?

I'm calling from Chicago. Oh, lovely, lovely. Greg, so how do you know me? I don't. Which is how I know I didn't see you that week. Oh. I was listening for some knitting stuff and you said you wanted people to call it and say whether they...

Well, well, well, well, Greg, you knit you knit I knit what's your favorite type of stitch backwards backwards, you know what this is a place of no judgment cool. I Know a lot about knitting all right. I've invented some new Knitting maneuvers. I'm the future of knitting. Can we hear some of it? Yeah, sure up up I'm the future of knitting. Can we hear some of them? Yeah. Sure. Up. Up. Classic movie Pixar, Old Man meets a young kid. They set off for adventure.

I've also invented the sashay knit. What is that like? It's like you do it while dancing sideways. So you just knit while dancing sideways? Yeah, you do a regular knit, but you're sashaying while you're doing it. How do you feel good about yourself? Greg, remember the movie sideways?

I'm not gonna drink any fucking Merlot. What was that with this guy? He just loves her. He just loves her. He just loves talking about movies. Yeah. But do you remember that movie? I do.

Yeah. Thomas A. In church, where'd he go? Yeah, I think he's still, he's in that show divorce. Yeah. Great. Hey. Yeah. We need you to chill out and focus a little bit.

Okay. If you didn't see me, where were you that week? Well, I was, I was, I was, I was just spending some time trying to get my shit together. What did you find when you were looking for yourself? Couldn't find me. Oh, your name is Greg, right? Yeah. Oh, Greg. Well, I'm gonna take this offline.

All right, well, good luck. Oh, before you go, a wasn't there a show called Greg the Bunny or something? Remember that? I do. I do remember that. Oh, a weird show. We both remember that thing yourself.

You remember too? I do remember that it was. Is that enjoyable that you also remember what I remember? Are you sure you guys don't know each other? This seems to be a lot of real old animosity between you two. You remember too? I do remember that it was... Is that enjoyable that you also remember what I remember? Hmm. Are you sure you guys don't know each other? This seems to be a lot of real old animosity between you two. I don't think so.

Right, what's your last name? Dub-unny. It's... Dub-unny. I mean, Dub-unny, is that Italian? Yeah. So, you know, that's why I'm aware. I'm familiar with the show Greg the bunny.

So when you were, when that show was on the air, people were probably like, Greg the bunny. Are you Greg the bunny? Yeah, yeah. And that's why honestly, even to this day, I mostly avoid saying my last name. I feel like I want to disappear for another week. No, don't say that.

Sarah, don't say that. Maybe I should change my first name. Oh my god. Okay, Greg, we gotta go. Bye. What a weird. Oh, weird dude. Well, gotta go. Bye What a weird Well, I think we should give a little bit of time to talking about witches, right? Yeah, oh absolutely. Yeah, I mean it is wicking knitting have your meta-witch?

I feel like I've met a couple witches They weren't like full on but like if someone tells me they're a witch like I believe them what constitutes a full-on witch I don't know. That's a good question. Oh, that sounds like it. This sounds like a some sort of Indian food philon witch. A philon witch. Oh, that sounds delicious. Maybe Middle Eastern? Yeah. Philon witch. Philon witch. Oh, I did go to an eagle's concert once. I don't know if that counts. Oh, we have a call here on the line. Oh, great a caller. Welcome to the Wicken Nitter Radio Hour. You're a nice add-ons, yeah. Hi, my name is Barbara Glasshouse, and I am very upset that no one has even mentioned the slipknot.

I realize that it's not the most popular knot, but it's a standard knot, it's a workhorse of knots. So I'm calling your nodding podcast streaming thing to tell you the like, I don't know what a podcast is. Yeah, I don't know. I'm calling your streaming show to tell you the like I don't know what a podcast is. Yeah, I'm calling your streaming show to tell you that like slipknotts are getting overlooked. Talk about slipknotts. I'm going to be honest with your Barbara slipknotts are very like mid 2000s. Yeah, it's also Midwest Iowa metal band. Yeah, if you didn't know., no, I do know That's who I was talking about oh Okay, and your name is Barbara Barbara glasshouse. Yes, is that a nickname or is that a middle name? No, it's not a nickname Hey Barbara, where were you a couple weeks back? I was hanging out mostly in edgewater. Did you see me? I think so. You did? Yeah, you're like I'm a white girl with brown hair. Oh

You're not for three with like red hair. No Cuz sworn that was you Barbara. Do you do you throw stones because there's a saying? Oh Glasshouses shouldn't throw stones. Yeah, I am a glass house So you shouldn't throw stone at me buddy Don't think I you're not feeling it didn't think I heard that every day on the playground You don't think I heard that every single day of my fucking life. Oh Hey, Barbara, have you ever met a witch? I have met a witch for language. I have met a I'm getting so hungry I have met a full on which I was at a Qdoba getting so hungry. I have met a felon which I was at a Qdoba and she was in line behind me and she was like I am definitely a witch and she had the pointy hat

and everything and it was adorable. Wait, it's called Qdoba? I thought it was Kdoba like what house? I don't know I've never heard anyone say it out loud and it looks like just like someone like shout out some consonants, which why, why just name it food house? Like name it something that I can understand. Why? Interesting that you wanted to be named food house when your last name is Glass House. I feel like you're trying to pin me in.

Call a Walmart? Really? Oh, because it's on this house. Call a Walmart a storehouse. Call a 7-Elevena gas house. Maybe Adel Riffi, just like Starriff, just a Riff Guy, Adelriff Guy, that's all you are. Oh, do me, do me, do me.

Oh, you're a Sarah Mahr, Mah-Mah. Well, well, look who's around. I guess, how lady, mom. Hey, I didn't ask to become the name person. I just called to ask about slipknotts. You didn't really call it ask about it so much as tell us about it. Also, it's not plural. The band is called slipknot. To say slipknotts suggest that there's two parallel bands, both called slipknot, who are the other slipknotts.

You never saw the other slipknot. Uh, Barbara, unless there's alternate dimensions around us, there's only one slipknot. The other slipknot was the better slipknot. Okay, fine. You know what? We're gonna let you go think about this. What? Are you gonna pull off a little bit? Guys are real slap-nuts. Alright. She's low-eat. I just made that up because he said slipknot, and I'm like, that kind of sounds like slap-nuts.

I'm like, that should be a phrase. Real slap-nuts. Oh, okay, we have another caller. Hello, welcome to the Wicked Knitter radio hour with Sarah and Adel. Hey, my name is Nerf. I got my wife. Your name is Nerf? Hi Nerf. Like the foam toy? No, like my father. I'm a junior Nerf junior Nerf junior like the TV show Nick Jr. This guy is only reference. Oh, there's someone else in the like a nerf herder like Star Wars Come on man, what get on people's butts Get off people's butts for them. Yeah, they're I have an important important question. It's my wife Okay, get off their butts. What accent was that?

Okay, get off their butts. Get off their butts. What accent was that? It was a Kazakhstan-y. Kazakhstan-y. I marvel at myself. I feel like I shouldn't have said that thing, but you only have it when accent. You're really trying to...

I'm really trying to walk. I'm really trying to do this. It is gold! That's awful. Whoever that person is, he's just awful. Having all mean having Hinta hi nerf. We're having trouble finding housing. We need we need an apartment with 47 bedrooms. Oh, oh no And I'm hoping there's somebody listening out there that might you know help us out

We love to help people out right now. We're helping out people who have seen witches or helping knitters and we all see witches. Yeah, all the time. Full on witches. Oh, yeah, full blown. Full blown. Full blown. Full blown, which? Half blown, full blown. Yes, I can't tell you how frustrating it is to me to to me that half blown. Sometimes mid blown. Mid blown. Yes. A mid blown which? Yeah, back back in our homeland. We-blown, yes. A mid-blown witch? Yeah, back in our home land. We're need to the city.

Where he is from? Back in your homeland? Midnight Vultures? Odele. Get off. They're butts. I'm sorry. Yeah, well, no, we're not from Chicago originally.

Where you from? Ah! Come! It's complicated. It's complicated. It's complicated. Like, oh, or it... Like that movie with

Yeah, well, don't you know stream? Was that a movie like from Connecticut or something? You can say that I guess sure there's a lot of trees where we're from there's a lot of trees in Connecticut Right Wow, okay. Well, I mean yeah, we'll see whatever we can do Maybe maybe they'll be someone else you can call call and help you find a 47 bedroom house. Oh, that would be great. I got it. Ask, why do you need so many bedrooms? We have a big family.

We have a lot of kids. What are their names? Oh, do you bring a lunch? I did, actually, yes, I did. You didn't hang up on me. I'm just concoing Stan. Oh, barbrown. I happen to be a real estate agent.

So we should talk. Well well this is a happy accident you're your last name is glass house and you're a real estate agent do you realize how self-obsessed you are oh my god I hate you okay so I'm assuming that you're trying to tell us that you have 47 kids which I can not believe well we have more than that it's just that know, two kids will share a room. Yes. And we we share a room. I'm not sure if it's your custom for the husband and wife to share. Oh, we're not no, we're just friends. We're not. Oh, we're just friends. Oh, you mean in general, you mean? Oh, you're not attached to the sky white you hang out with him. You know what? Is it because your husband left you? Oh, you know what he did leave, didn't he?

I always forget even just a moment ago, where you were called that Arnie's been gun for two years. I just forgot about it until Nerf Ball said something. It's just Nerf. Oh, sorry. I used to have, you ever play with Nerf Ball? I play with Nerf Ball. I feel so good.

We have 47 kids I play with Nerf Ball. Thank God. Wow, congratulations, buddy. Thank you. I always are not half-blown. No. I appreciate the love that I feel You know through the radio waves from you guys because I can tell you have a pretty healthy relationship That's the song that was playing when she thought of me and I sprouted from her back. What? I'm sprouting her back. What? I'm sprouting husbands back. Yeah. I think there's a language barrier here. I've worked with a lot of refugees in my line of Barbara.

Barbara, go home. Refugees. Wyclef's John. I'll beg on to November. Wait a minute. Oh my gosh. Wait a minute. You guys seem weird. Thank you. Have you seen me? I'm not sure if I can't do that. White girl around here that knows it down We may have seen you I think you saw me Possibly were you carrying a sensible purse that matches most outfits? Yeah, something in a muted tone that goes with everything. Yes, Puffy coat you got it

Were you holding a Starbucks? I mean if it was anytime between 8 30 and 11 a.m. Yes, it tends to you. Maybe at some point said, I can't even. Oh, you don't know white girls. No, I know white girls. Marlon Wayne's and Sean Wayne's are two guys who put on white face. And I can't keep it. Barbara, go.

Barbara, hang up. Barbara, get the fuck off phone. You are fucking with my last nerve. Okay, we need to talk to these folks. I don't really get serious about this because we have a mystery to solve. Let me tell you the mystery that I have and I want to see if you two can help me. Would you mind helping me? Sure. Okay, about. Well screw Octavia Spencer, I guess these guys are the help. Do you have something to say to any word that is thrown out? Yeah, but I also censor myself. I mean, like a few minutes ago, this guy said there are a lot of trees and Connecticut. I wanted to say like, what is that? The new John

Irving book, but I didn't. So I do censor myself. I lost a week in my life. And it was just a couple weeks back. My life. You got it. I don't know what happened. I've got some guy who's either Santa or Wizard coming to me, talking to me. Also, my husband has been gone for two years, but that's kind of on the back burner. I want to know. I, my husband has been gone for two years, but that's kind of on the back burner. I wanna know what happened. I forgot her husband got her two years. He's been gone for two years. I need to right hold on, I'm gonna get a bit of paper

once I get him to. I'm sorry. I should write it down. But here's the thing, I don't know where I went and I don't know how I got back and I don't know what happened. Have you ever heard of something like this happening? It happens a lot back when we're from.

Okay, it is not Connecticut. I'm going to put you guys on the spot. I don't think you're from Connecticut. No, we're, we're, we're, we're from Connecticut. We're very, yes. We like, many things from Connecticut like commuting into New York City. Yeah, that's a good idea. You guys, this knitting circle is for honesty.

And you can be honest here. Where are y'all from? We are goblins. What? What? What? You're gobbling up our time on the show. You are fucking with me right now.

We are goblins from another land. We came here, we bought cell phones. We're looking for apartments. Another land we came here we bought cell phones We're looking for apartments Chicago rent is is reasonable, but Not compared to what we're used to check out bronzeville also you said you came here you bought cell phones I feel like there's a pretty big chasm of time that you're Leaping over okay, so here's the thing. What did you guys eat? What was the first thing you ate? A baby. Oh, no, come on. I know, too fatty. I told him.

But it is so chunky. It was the cheeks. So you guys seem like nice baby. Yes. Hurry down the chimney tonight. Don't worry, guys. I'm going to murder him soon. Listen. You guys don't know that it's not cool to eat babies here. So I'm just gonna give you a hot tip, okay? Cause I like you, I want you guys to succeed. Aw, thank you. Thanks, well we ate that baby to feed our babies. All right, well at least that's something.

Is it wanted to eat a baby if you're sharing it? I feel like that's, I'm sorry, I'm still on the long run. Oh, is that Barbara? No, is'm sorry, I'm still on the line. Mother fuck. Is that Barbara? No, is that, who is this? Is that Greg? Greg. Hey, Greg, what's up, dude? Um, that's just gross, I'm sorry.

Okay, well, I love, I really love talking to you guys, but we do have a mystery to solve. Pro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro history now school I'm still on the line. Oh I actually am also a psychiatrist. Oh, I think I can like clinically diagnose your co-host. Yeah, man go for it as hilarious I think he has pop culture Tourette's oh Shit, yeah, he has no control over these sort of ticks, but they manifest themselves. No control over ticks. Oh no. They pop, they manifest themselves. Get off me, lime disease, lime disease. Who is that? That wouldn't be no sense.

I'm selling the lime. Who is that? We have watched a lot of TV and movies in the time that we have been here, and I recognize most of your references. Oh no, I have Tourette. I must be in New York at Radio City Music Hall. Seeing a line of women kick, it's the Tourette's. I think sort of the more anxiety has the more he, uh, the more his path culture references don't really make sense exactly. You know what? That means a lot of sense because I feel like my buddy Adel, like he feels my anxiety. I think it's palpable because I really want to get to the bottom of this.

Emperor palpable. See? That was. He's just trying to help his friends air out. You probably have extra anxiety because you've got too much to much head. You are a fucking downspirer. I will set fire to that fucking line you're on. I just think that he probably has an anxiety about things in his life. And so he has to escape into some pop culture references.

But I'm just saying that all of life doesn't have to be pop culture. Take that from Dr. Greg DeBunny. Hey, Greg DeBunny, I was really happy you were gone, but that helped, that really helped. We're gonna hang up on you now, okay, but you have a good one. I'm not gonna hang up just in case.

I'm not leaving till we get to the bottom of this. I'm never gonna hang it up, not the way I hang it up for you. I thought you were gonna go, never gonna hang you up. No, I'm gonna, ha, ha, ha, ha. Now I'm upset with myself. I'm sorry, you take a moment.

Hey, Sarah. Yep. Can I ask you something? Yes, sure. I just noticed I have a piece of paper in front of me and a pen and I wrote down missing for two years AR. What was I writing?

AR, I'll refine. Missing for two years. R, R, I'm hiring. What was I writing? Oh, did you miss it? I didn't find that. What's good missing for two years? That's what's, yes, that's it.

Where are you? Two years ago I was a pirate for Halloween and I lost that outfit. That's what it is. That's been missing for two years. Well, you better finish that sentence. Okay. It's close. Okay. So the lines are open on the Wicked Nitter Radio hour. We are taking questions about witches. We're taking questions about knitting, but most of all, we're getting to the bottom of the mystery of what happened about two weeks ago when I disappeared for

a full week, also, or taking tips on my husband that's been gone for two two years But that's besides the point. You know what it feels like at all. What's that? It feels like have you ever seen Cheese Can you elaborate? Oh? God I make cheese out of my milk. Oh, yeah You you got a cow no no out of the milk that comes out of my horn. I used to feed my goblin children. Oh shit. And make milk. I make a keeper. Look at those. If you could see these horns, you make keeper. So did 24 made his career. Listen, you guys are. He was actually kind of washed up.

Farbram. Farbram. Wait, hold on. No, stand the line. I would have to make this boys made him. I think lost boys. no, stand the line. I would have to make this voice made him. I think lost boys made him. You think lost boys made Kiefer Sutherland? Yeah, obviously. Barbara, you're gonna rip your fucking heart out from your mouth and I'm gonna put a slip knot through it. But you know what, then why don't you hang up on me

correctly because I've been stuck in the line. I don't think there hang up works. I don't think there hang up works. I don't think there hang up. Great, great, great, great, great. I'm glad you're here. I'm gonna say a name. When I say the name, I want you to say the first thing you think of.

Ready? Okay, for Sutherland. First thing you think of. The sky. What? Look, everything doesn't have to be a pop culture reference. No, it does. Try another one.

Sarah, do you have children? I do. I have one child. I have a daughter. She's about two and a half years old. Don't call her daughter. I do I have one child. I have a daughter. She's about two and a half years old. Don't call her daughter. I do color daughter Having a hard time finding a school for our children. Yeah. Oh CPS oh God no

We may home school oh if you want a good school system You can get a place in Oak Park. They have very good schools there I can pick up in my escalade and take you to an open house. Barbara owns an escalade. You know my baby on the way there. Barbara, I've decided I like you and I forgive you and I want you to stay here. Thank you very much. Just go ahead and I want you to fucking have a good time to melt off. We're on an on that escalade. This seems like Janet Jackson.

Who sings that? Janet Jackson. Janet Jackson. Janet Jackson. And we're back. Welcome to the Wicken, Nitter, Radio Hour, with Sarah and... Doshu's at all.

At all. We are here talking to the goblins. Goblins, I want to say welcome to Chicago. Chicago is considered a safe liberal haven for refugees. And that doesn't sound like what you guys are. It sounds more like if you're anything, your immigrants or just regular old goblins, it just got just ended up here.

Yeah, really didn't really choose it. Now we just kind of ended up here. A couple of immigrants. Immigrants sweet. I don't have anything. Get the job done. Dun-un-un-un. Okay, what's that?

Immigrants, we get the, have you not seen Hamilton? No. We came here, we got so far. Oh yes, and then Hamilton tickets. And then we saw him. You got Hamilton tickets? I've been entering the lottery every day.

I've held off on listening to the soundtrack because I don't want to know anything going in. I don't know how, I don't know the story. How did you get tickets because I don't want to know anything going in. I don't know how to know the story. How did you get to get to know how American history goes? Barbara. Barbara. Barbara. Barbara. Barbara. Read a book. Why don't you glasshouse? What are you in 1980, Billy Joel album? Fuck off, Barbara. Hey, I never heard that one. Barbara, I challenge you to a duel. I challenge you to a duel. No, I already challenged you first. Barbara, then I accept your challenge. Great. I'll see to a duel. Hmm. I challenge you to a duel. No, I already challenged you first. Barbara, then I accept your challenge.

Great, I'll see you at dawn. Bitch. Bitch. I feel bad that I call Barbara a bitch. I call her a bitch several times. I think I'm gonna stop thinking about it. I feel bad about it. That's a bad word.

It is a bad word. It's a bad word. Yeah, you're right, I'm sorry. There's two things I'm doing in 2017. I'm not using plastic bottles, and I'm not using a bitch. Where do you? That's great. Thanks'm doing in 2017. I'm not using plastic bottles and I'm not using a bench. That's great. Thanks We love plastic What do you do with it? Oh, we burn it the smell is really nice. It's not so Cating. Yeah, it's an effort easy

We don't have that where we're from so we don't have much time, but I wanted to know Time if we own if we needed another minute I got nothing what can we do to help you guys like oh here's something what would remind you of home oh oh swamp tree stump swamp swamp with some putrid smells yeah you know Chicago was built on a swamp really really you can go to a couple places and it smells pretty gross. Oh, the Wilson red line stuff. That was amazing. That's the closest to home.

It's pretty swampy. Yeah. So they have these places like 30 minutes of North. It's still just like swamp land. You can probably walk around and feel like you're at home. Well, do you think Nerf we could maybe set up our own home? I think so. I would like that very much

Yes rooms for all our children and a sex dungeon. Yes What just sex dungeon you know what a sex dungeon is I don't know what a sex dungeon is 50 shades of gray. I don't talk about it But some of my places have sex you're not fucking sexually adventurous and we know it. Wait, you didn't say I was sexually event sex. You have a sex engine? No. Some of the places I sell as a real estate agent have sex engines in them. Cool. Can you? Really cool.

If you're going to stand in line, can you at least help them buy a home? Maybe some sort of fun home at the light, at the light, at the light. Reenkeys. No. I got to apologize for my friend. He is feeling my anxiety right now He's really acting out because he is he's and he's what you call an empath I don't know if you guys ever do you have those in quote unquote air quote Connecticut and then path is that like a psychic? A little bit they tap into like Feelings A little bit they tap into like feelings Oh, I'll leave you, then a leech a leech an emotional leech He said oh, yes, we have playing with those

Yes, my grandmother was one Yes, she was And Sarah, I can tell you I have not seen you but I can tell that you are a good person you you can do better than Adel Oh no, we're not together. He's just my friend. Oh, Mary. She's married Arnie Arnie Arnie here. Let me finish writing that. That's funny. That's how we know each other because he was Arnie's friend first and then he was my friend. Oh, Mary, she's married Arnie. Arnie. Arnie. Here, let me finish writing that. That's funny. That's how we know each other, because he was Arnie's friend first,

and then he was my friend. I imagine Arnie. We imagine Arnie. Yes, I guess. That must be a common Earth name. You must be very common Earth name. You guys here today. Is that Greg?

Sarah. Herb? In my current state, I feel that I have shan't be able to connect with you as often as I did before, but know this, know that I am protecting Arty, this much as I am able in these dark and terrible times. And then soon you shall be able to unite. My God, Santa, come back. Now that's Usendor.

What? I know that guy. He's a door wizard. With many names,s about them endlessly. You guys know that guy. Yeah. He's from Foon. We're not from Connecticut.

Foon. Connecticut. Foon. How are we friends now? You guys are in the honesty wicked knitting circle. Welcome, Godblings. Welcome. I'm also on the line, Greg DeBonney.

If you know this user to our guy, he has many names. What are they? There's Charlie Charlie 12th 12th night the 12th night of a fesious. No, it's you user in no Like the lotion come on that over side reference. Where's my lotion reference? Where's my lotion reference? Oh, gangrene, gang genie. The elves know him as who was stank. Who was stank? Stank in a slipknot? Yeah, that's his name is who was stank.

Who was stank is no slipknot? For one say, agree with Barbara. Barbara, I'm gonna take an old timey fucking gun and I'm gonna fill it with gunpowder and a bullet and I'm gonna shoot you at sunrisepowder and a bullet and I'm gonna shoot you. It's on right. Yeah, well you already be dead because I'm using a normal regular time leak gun. I'm sure it's an a robust thing. I'm gonna use it timely gun.

Yeah, I'm tied guy at gun that is more timely to the time period that we live in now. Okay. I'm gonna finish vaping. So you guys know this? I've been calling him Santa or a wizard. You should know. But there's other names that we don't know that. You won'tci. Baby Fed Veal. You guys know Arnie? Because that's my husband.

We met him. We met an Arnie. Yes. He's a baby Fed Veal. He's a baby Fed Veal. He's a baby Fed Veal. He's a baby Fed Veal. He's a baby Fed Veal.

He's a baby Fed Veal. It's a nice baby fed veal. You guys know Arnie? Because that's my husband. We met him. We met an Arnie. Yes. Are you serious in Foon? We met an Arnie in Foon.

Yes. Is that your Arnie? It might be. Is he really tall? Well, I don't know what I don't know how tall you guys are because I haven't seen you yet, but. Three apples high. Oh, he's more than three apples high.

Well, how big are your apples? Oh, he's more than three apples high. Well, how big are your apples? Oh gosh, everything is relative. Yes, I've seen the apples in Trader Joe's. Oh, that's right, okay, yeah, yeah. What have you seen, apple, Aisha? That's what I call home. Pupu, pupu, pupu.

He can tell I'm getting really excited. So, I think it's my Arnie because he's about 60 apples high. Okay. Does he look older than his age? Yes. Much older. Far older. Um, he's got a beard, hair on his face. Yeah, and she's sitting right next to me. No, no horn.

No horn. No horn. No horn. No horn, no horn. It's the laugh app. Yeah. It horn. No horn. No horn. No horn. No horn. No horn. No horn. No horn. No horn. No horn. No horn. No horn. No horn. No horn. No horn. No horn. No horn. No horn. No horn. No horn. No horn. No horn. No horn. No horn. No horn. No horn. No horn. No horn. No horn. No horn. No horn. No horn. No horn. No horn. No horn. No horn. No horn. No horn. No horn. No horn. No horn. No horn. No horn. No horn. No horn. No horn. No horn. No horn. No horn. No horn. No horn. No horn. No horn. No horn. No horn. No horn. No horn. No horn. No horn. No horn. No horn. No horn. No horn. No horn. No horn. No horn. No horn. No horn. No horn. No horn. No horn. No horn. No horn. No horn. No horn. No horn. No horn. No horn. No horn. No horn. No horn. No horn. No horn. No horn. No horn. No horn. No horn. No horn. No horn. No horn. No horn. No horn. No horn. No horn. No horn. No horn. No horn. No horn. No horn. No horn. No horn. No horn. No horn. No horn. No horn. No horn. No horn. No horn. No horn. No horn. No horn. No horn. No horn. No horn. No horn. No horn. No horn. No horn. No horn. No horn. No horn. No horn. No horn. No horn. No horn. No horn. No horn. No horn. No horn. No horn. No horn. No horn. No horn. No horn. No horn. No horn. No horn. No horn. No horn. No horn. No horn. No horn. No horn. No horn. No horn. No horn. No horn. Thank you so much for calling in and It's time to wrap up And thank you to my buddy Adel Hey goblins. Yes. Can we like get together for a call? Yes, I'm saying I'm having a goblin lady wine night. That's lady wine night.

Okay, where should I find you? Should I just go to the swamp 30 minutes away? Please yes, and our wine is actually calf's blood. Oh shit. I don't drink that shit actually calf's blood. Oh, shit. I don't drink that shit. That's fine. Bring your own. Okay, very cool. Can I get a half calf's blood?

Half calf. Annel, thanks for being my buddy. We'll figure out what happened to me eventually. You will. I feel like we have some good leads. We know where you weren't seen. That's true. And that's a huge help.

And we also have a note now to find your pirate costume. Oh, that's right I lost my pirate costume so and I'm sure there are other assholes on the line Barbara Barbara if you're there Barbara, we're hanging up now I Blue Joe Pescian College Fuck you, Barbara Well, that was fun, right? Like the occasional Voyager episode where we spend some time back on Earth with Lieutenant Barclay. All the characters you just enjoyed were played by residents of your own planet, the only

one there is. Sarah Mahir was played by herself. Follow her on Twitter at S. Mahiraja. Adel Rafa was played by Adel Rafa, Chicago voiceover artist. If air quotes were high-pitched shrieks, you'd be clutching your face and agony. Isn't it great to hear him out of character? Fun to get a peek behind the carefully constructed veneer. Barbara Glass House was played by Matt Young, who portrays women only as shrill relentless

crones. I wonder if that details given some ink in his Tinder profile. Into and nerf the displaced goblins from a fantastical world that's not in peril, were Marla Caceres and Eddie Pina, you can see them carrying Adel as regular performers with world news tonight at Chicago's Iotheater. Well, see you next week, so there's gonna be a show next week. Well, of course, there'll be a show, just because I want to keep world separate doesn't mean I want any of them engulfed in evil.

Look if Hog's face is still down, we can probably grab a signal from that high-concept critical-darling cowboy world. That's it was good for 40 or so minutes. Okay, hello from The Magic Tavern was produced by Arnie Meekamp, Evan Jacober, and Rhyndi Georgie. This one edited by Rhyndi Georgie. Using Bianny Poland, logo by Aller LeBon, additional audio effects by Jason Knox, production assistance by Garrett Schultz. Visit us at alo from themagictavern.com or on Facebook or Twitter. Thanks for the Chicago podcast, go up, and thanks to Ear Wolf. Extra special thanks this week to Andy Poland for the new theme song, because that was clearly a theme song for a fake show that doesn't exist no matter what.

Anyone else says, and if you're missing the regular Magic Tavern crew this week, all three of them played gauntlet, the old video game, for ign.com. If you go to IGN's website, you can see hello from the Magic Tavern plays gauntlet. Just do a Google search for that. It'll probably come up right away. Thanks to the folks from IGN for that. It was very fun to do.

And I think it proves that the show's not real and nothing is going wrong at all. Now might also be a good time to check out the spin-off series offices and bosses on Howl. Okay, back to scanning the continuum. That in my banana bridge should be ready to come out of the fire hutch. you