Hello From The Magic Tavern - Patreon Unlock: Night Shifts

Episode Date: January 2, 2023

In this bonus Patreon episode, Chunt meets Foon's preeminent "mental health" professional, Dr. Pigman Fraud and a giant spider.You can support the show directly and receive bonus episodes and rewards by joining our Patreon at https://www.patreon.com/magictavern for only $5 per month. Follow us on Twitter and Instagram, and now Patreon!CreditsChunt: Adal RifaiDr. Pigman Fraud: John Patrick CoanTimothy: Jeffrey CranorCraig: Ryan DiGiorgiProducers: Matt Young and Adal RifaiPost-Production Coordination: Garrett SchultzEditor: Tim JoyceSpecial Assistance: Ryan DiGiorgiMagic Tavern Logo: Allard LabanTheme Music: Andy PolandSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Since his death in 2009, the world has struggled with how Michael Jackson should be remembered, as the King of Pop, or as a monster. The new podcast Think Twice, Michael Jackson, offers a fresh perspective on the art and the artist, his life, his work, and his legacy. Listen to Think Twice, Michael Jackson, wherever you get your podcasts. Academy is a new scripted podcast that follows Ava Richards, a brilliant scholarship student attending Bishop Gray Academy, the and Add Free on Wondering Plus. Happy winner solstice, bootleg Craig here, spinning up another unlocked Patreon episode

to make your season bright. While the regular show takes a break. And bootleg Craig's pirate Patreon radio has a really freaky one to let loose today. This is the first episode of a series called Night Shifts, available only on Patreon, where Chant takes on a series of... Jobs at night to try to buy Arne a gift. If you love this sort of thing, you got to head on over to patreon.com slash magic tavern.

If you become a patron there, you can listen to two bonus episodes like this one, every month, plus add free versions of the main show, two brand new bonus episodes a month, and a ton of other stuff I'll tell you about after this episode. Stay tuned and find out how you can become a supporter. What's being you, Bongs? Just the quickest of messages from your old, Anki Chant before the show.

In this episode we have some fun with therapy and fun, but one to acknowledge that therapy is necessary and wonderful, and all of us little fucking freak should be taking care of ourselves. We may make goofs and gags about therapy here, but nobody should feel judged or ridiculed for seeking help. And now, back to the buttholes! Oh yeah, babies! Welcome to the first episode of Night Shifts!

Where me, Chant the Shape Shifter, usually in the form of a badger, tries to take on various night jobs all around Foon, and here's the thing. I need some extra cash. I'm very bad with my coin, okay? So what I'm doing is I'm taking on all these jobs. One just got a curiosity. I wanna know what the people of Foon do, what different skill sets provide,

what people do for a living. And then two, I'm just trying to save up some more money to buy my dear friend Arnie a gift. He's my best friend, and I feel like he's been here for seven years, and I've given him a few gifts. I can't remember exactly what, but I'd like to give him something nice. He's my guy and speaking of gifts for my guy, there's an embarrassing situation last year where I shaved my fur to buy Arnie a chain for his pocket watch and he sold his pocket watch

to buy red potion. So just a crazy little mix up but I never gave him that pocket watch chain and I just want to I want to do something special for him. He's my best friend. And he's away from home for seven years now, young spikes. So that's why I'm doing this. Again, welcome to Night Ships. For episode one, we're here today with what I've heard is the preeminent therapist in all of Foon,

Mr. Pigman Fraud. Hello, Pigman Fraud. Please, you are too kind, you are too kind to call me, but not incorrect in many ways. Fine. The predominate, I prefer the term cycle analyst in all of food. And can predominate still get you pregnant?

Yes, a predominate kind of gets you pregnant, but free sub is one more punch to a free sub. Oh, interesting. So, Pigman, I don't want to be... Please, call me Dr. Fraud. Dr punch to it, free sub. Oh, interesting. So, big man, I don't wanna be... Please, call me Dr. Fraud. Dr. Fraud, thank you. Where we are in a clinical setting, call me Dr. Fraud. Dr. Fraud.

If we are hanging out on the weekend, or even like a weeknight, but it's more like a casual thing, like drinks, or something at a bar, that's a time for you could call me a pig man. So if I see an overalls or something and you're like wallowing and shit mud, then you're a pig man. But when you're in your office, you're a doctor.

What, I'm sorry? Oh, I'm sorry, I've been a pig before, and that's what I did. Oh, okay, so you think I'm a pig? Well, I'm being rude. Because I'm a pig man, you're a pig man. And not to be rude, but why don't you describe yourself to the listeners? Very different. Because I'm a pig man, you're a pig man. And not to be rude, but why don't you describe yourself

to the listeners? Very different type of creature, a pig man. Okay. Pig, there's an ongoing creature, volumizing the mud, eats a stye. Little curly tail, little curly penis. Little curly tail, little flat nose, two slits. Like to volumizing the mud,

like to slap on about hunger pig eat pretty much anything that you give it. Yeah, I've seen pigs eat humans. I'm a pig man. I'm much taller. Okay. Much taller than a pig. Yeah. A lot longer ground. So you're sort of an ambulatory pig on two legs and you're like,

I want to say seven foot eight. I've been accused of being an ambulance chaser of my entire life, but that is, it could not be further from the truth. Six eights, you're two kind. Uh, Wow, six eight. I guess I'm really, really small, which I, I usually am. See?

Not as interesting, now I've been getting somewhere. Now I've been getting somewhere, so, uh, Chant, you think that you are very small. Um, yeah, I guess, I guess I do, and compared to other people. Uh, do you see? Psycho-headeless. They are doing psycho-headalizing on you, Chant, my boy.

Okay, so I said something, and you just repeated it back to me with an upward inflection and that's therapy. So if I said something to you in an upward inflection and it was the same thing, but you had said to me, interesting, tell me more about that. Um, I guess I'm kidding. After clock. After clock, I wouldn't try to do. I wouldn't try to say, yes, absolutely.

You can call me a big man. No, today is all about learning, okay? Do you have a notebook? I can, let's see, let me. It's okay, I don't want to make you go get it because what I was going to do is you have a notebook and I say toss it out, forget everything you already know. Oh, I found one.

Well, toss it out, forget everything you don't already know. Toss out. Don't write. No, huh? Actually do keep the notebook. It's good, I don't know why I said toss it out. Forget everything you don't, I didn't know. Toss out. Don't write. No, but, huh? I actually do keep the notebook. It's good. I don't know why I said toss it out. It's an empty notebook.

Yeah, except for me writing toss it and then I was going to write out. Oh, yeah, don't toss it out. That'd be very wasteful. And you'll need that for notes, for about to be covered today. Okay, so I'll leave the toss it and let me add number two, pop it, number three, twist it, number four, pull it. So basically, chant. And I'm very excited to have you sitting in on a session today.

I'm so excited to be here. Normally, there is a code of ethics that we must follow, which would prevent you from sitting in on a session. Oh. But since I am kind of the father of psychoanalysts, I kind of make all of this up in the vent. Thank you, daddy, mine thoughts.

So there basically are no ethics because I haven't made any ethics yet. Does that make sense? So, okay, yeah. So you literally wrote the book on ethics and you have not yet to write that book. Precisely, yes, very, very astute of you, Chand. Yes, thank you.

Okay, do I, do I sit on the couch or do I pull up a chair? Do I, do I just stand the whole time? Do I kneel? The cycle analyzer never sits on the couch or do I pull up a chair do I do I just stand the whole time do I kneel the cycle Analyzer never sits on the couch. You may pace about the room Which you will be probably will mean to be doing because we're going to be doing a lot of cocaine today Oh And that is where I get all of my ideas and if anyone asks it's not that now I know all your noses flat. Oh, I know you also have a pipe and you never smoke from it

You just kind of tap it against your cheek and chin. Yeah, the pipe is full of cocaine and I just basically use it as a little bump stock if I didn't get any more cocaine. And again, you're getting case of emergency. So you understand? Yes, of course. So you can paste about a room, you can sit in a big chair, but the couch, the one would dry down, it's always for the patient. Wow. Well, let me, sorry, I'm gonna just take one second here. Let me concentrate. I'm gonna, okay, I shape-shifted my skin to kind of look like a blazer and then,

yeah, shape-shifted my eyes and ears till I look like I have glasses on. So maybe I look, do I look a little more professional? A little more professional? I know, I'm a big pig-coveted shit, so whatever you want to do now. I don't say it, but thank you for saying it. It doesn't matter to me, but you look very good.

I mean, it's a... I've never tried skin glasses before, but I think they're working. I don't know that it's technically accomplishing either of the things that it's going for, but it's accomplishing something completely known. I do... I mean, I can't take my eyes off of it. Yeah, I mean, clearly there's no lenses, but if I did skin lenses, then I couldn't see it would just be my skin and fur covering my eyes. Chanpefava begin to session.

Yes, yes, yes. And if you have a patient, name is Timothy. Timothy. Very much troubled. Oh, what do you hope to get out of today's session? I hope to take away at least one or two little tidbits or tricks or secret little hints that I can apply to my conversations with my best friend Arnie.

Now Arnie, you haven't met him. He's about, you're right. He's a very tall, maybe he's tall. He might be seven foot nine actually. I guess compared to me, I'm just, you know, I'm so small. Interesting, speak on that. Yes, he's very, very tall. Just a very rugged handsome guy, great head of hair. Just very patient's very, very tall. Just a very rugged, handsome guy, great head of hair.

Just very patient with me, very understanding. I'm a little more volatile. He's a little more calm. I'm a little bit rock and roll. He's a little more country. I'm vinegar. He's blood. So we just have that May December romance going on. So I'm just hoping to be able to open up more to him and be able to coax more information out of him and more emotions and be just a better friend, be able to have my friends lean on me a little bit more. Wrong. You are here to learn how to manipulate. Oh, obviously you can use that for your alt-ferristic means or, you know, the good or whatever you said with your friend and making him a better guy or whatever, making him tall and good hair. But you are here to learn how to insert yourself into the psyche of the patient.

So that you can fix the patient, not kill the patient. Honestly, once you're in there, it's a masked playground in there. You know, sex or candy. You can do whatever you want in there. Wait, did you say sex or candy? Maybe I'm not here to put any restrictions on what you do inside, but uh... All I'm saying is, uh, it's going to be up to you and I'm going to give you the tools and you can use the tools however you want. Oh, that's perfect. Let me, okay, I'm gonna write down here.

I give a little boy a hammer, take a bit of the bridge, or he could kill a big, like, you know, like a giant, or you know, it was something you would kill with a hammer. I guess maybe not a giant, like a giant, or it was something you would kill with a hammer. I guess maybe not a giant, like another boy. Oh wait, did you write the children's book if you give a kid a hammer? No, legally, I have nothing to do with that book because of kind of... It's set us from p.m.fr. M-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m- I guess that was a matter. Yeah, it was a matter. And just so we're clear, after today's session,

you will sign the document that we discussed and the judge will sign. That guy who's waving? Yes, you'll sign the man who's waving, and who is the judge, and he will knock off another community outreach program that I have to do. We'll sign this waiver.

The book that I legally had nothing to do with. Okay. Perfect. All right, signed and sealed and delivered. Um, I'm very excited. Uh, let me write down, manipulate, better manipulate than never. Let's get it up. Uh, okay.

John, I hear it knocking on the door. Why don't you be the one to introduce yourself to Timothy and guide him to the couch? Alright. Uh, I assume this is another little boy, so let me... Oh my god! Oh my god! Hi! I like your glasses.

Oh, they're my skin. Hi! I like your skin too. Oh, oh, he's running. I don't even know what to call it. A foot down my face. I like your shirt. Can I go inside your shirt and then out the tail? No, thank you, but thank you for asking. This is very nice in here. Thank you. Come in. Is this

is this Timothy? Is this right, big man? Yes, this is Timothy Timothy. It's again we are in the office John. So what do you call me? Dr. Fraud. Dr. Fraud. I mean, Dr. Fraud. This giant spider, he's, I don't know if I call him giant. Are you a giant? I am technically a giant spider, but I'm very small. You're a giant spider. For a giant spider. So I'm a tiny giant spider. I'm tiny too.

Well, relatively for who I hang out with. Same for me. It's so hard when women, when I try and go out on dates, women are upwards of 10 to 12 times my size. It is so difficult. And it's not just making everything work. It's just the self-consciousness of feeling inferior to them. I think most women don't care, as long as you act confident,

but it's so hard when you see a woman. I mean, just I'm almost the size of one of their middle eyes. Yeah, oh, what a wicked web. We, oh, I shouldn't. I'm sorry, I didn't. That's just top of mind. My sister used to say that phrase all the time. It's okay.

It's okay. Everyone, everyone, attention's running a little high, but why don't we, why don't we come into the office and why don't we relax from all this? Yes, yes, yes, yes. I'll be pacing. Timothy, do you want to build a chair or sit on the couch? Why don't I just get on this pillow on the couch here and then next time you look back, I won't be there. And I'll be somewhere else that you can't see. Is that all right? Does that make you comfortable? Perfectly fine. I just want to make everyone comfortable. I have to say, please don't build another web in here.

I mean, because when you leave, I have to clean that up. It's hard not to bring my work with me. I'm a web designer. Will I give the web you just built a C++? Plus, C++. It's hard to get work though with Squarespace. For Timothy, it's absolutely hard to build a web in a Squarespace because it's really the amount of corners

You'd think is perfect, but it's very limiting when it's something so perfect if you know what that means Ah, spider! Oh, I am so sorry, that was pure instinct. I'm sorry if I hit you with my nose. It's okay, I can have a very strong external skeleton. Oh good. And I can leap about 10 times my own height. It's fine, I'm used to people swing things at me. Everyone is scared of me.

That's why I'm here, doctor. Everyone is scared of me. And I just want to make friends. All the facts that you give about yourself should be good things, but when I hear them, they're terrifying. So your skeleton's on the outside of your body. So you're almost, you're basically inside out.

Essentially, yeah. And I have eight eyes, which is nice, because I've taken up a job as a copy editor. At night, to sort of make ends meet, I can read several manuscripts at once. Interesting. With eight legs, I can type on multiple keyboards at once. It's great.

It's super simple. And hold onto that notebook. Those are very handy. Thank you. They want to take a job as a copy editor if you're looking for work. Maybe as long as it's not with spider. It's great. It's super simple. And hold onto that notebook. Those are very handy. Thank you. You want to take a job as a copy editor if you're looking for work. Maybe as long as it's not with spider. So you said that you hate yourself?

Very good, Chuck. You have a focusing. You're saying, I heard you say, I heard you say, I heard you say, I heard you say, back to him. You hate yourself? Thank you, Chuck. I feel self-conscious and I think other people hate me. I don't feel like I hate myself, but I think other people are frightened of me. And maybe I do hate myself. Of course you do. Of course you do hate yourself

because that is spider nature, spider nature to hate yourself. Something that we say a lot in my practice and I try to want to write this down is that every spider has what we call an edible complex Okay Early epitome of the mentions that he's having troubles with other spiders and he can't find a romantic partner And that is because every spider wants six things Don't want to fuck their father wait Wait, do spiders have hot dads? They want to make out with their mother. They want to find a cousin who is a similar age,

five, ten-year difference, to heavy-pating. They want to go on four dates with an uncle, but nothing comes of it. It's just they had a really good time and they both decide, this is not for us. Yeah. No harm, no foul. There was a fight for of their brothers. Okay pick the biggest brother fight him

Henry it yes for Timothy is Timothy is Henry Dr. Frod you're hit the nail in the head at the end of the day number six I want to fuck the mother again because Start with the father and with the mother will find out you know, wow and you that's called an edible Compa an edible complex. An edible complex because, eat and eat and cheat. Eat and eat, okay. Well, I did eat my mother, all of my 50 brothers and sisters and I ate our mother.

The moment we were born, that's exactly what we did. We devoured her whole, I never really met her. She's delicious, though. How did it make you feel, Timothy? Nourished. It felt nourishing. I was starving. Isn't that a parent's goal is to give nourishment to their children?

Oh, she was the sweetest, the most giving woman. Oh, spider meat is sweet. Yeah, and when you have 50 kids, you got to feed those kids. And the first thing she did was said, devour me. That not to be fair, I mean, and Chantice made this mistake. Timothy is a giant spider, not a spider. Giant spider meat is sweet. Spray the spider meat, I would say it's more like,

ooh, mommy. It's anxious. It's um, yes, it's like, it's like, it's like full-bodied, yes, like a crab. Like a crab. It tastes more like a regular spider yes. Like a crab. Like a crab. It tastes more like a regular spider tastes more like a crab. So the spider tastes like what you dip it in. Exactly.

Okay, interesting. So Timothy, just, and Dr. Fraud, tell me if I'm doing okay. Just to kind of unpack some things you said here. So you literally ate your mom. And I just want to know, did you ever reciprocate to your parents in terms of kind of a rec-nid pro quo? Did you ever let them have a nibble at you your dad or any other family? No, both of my parents were dead moments after I was born. We devoured my mom from all I hear My mother ate my father

Moments after conceiving me and my 50 brothers and sisters. Oh, so it's passed down. Yeah. It's okay. Just kind of complex runs deep chun. It's run very deep. Like addiction or something. You know, you just, you know, if you're, if you're parent- I'm sorry, do you say something about addiction?

Yeah, I just, if you can, if you can, if you can, if you can, if you can, if you can, if you can, if you can, if you can, if you can, if you can, if you can, if you can, if you can, if you can, if you can, if you can, if you can, if you can, if you can, if you can, if you can, if you can, if you can, if you can, if you can, if you can, if you can, if you can, if you can, if you can, if you can, if you can, if you can, if you can, if you can,

if you can, if you can, if you can, if you can, if you can, if you can, if you can, if you can, if you can, if you can, if you can, if you can, if you can, if you can, if you can, if you can, if you can, if you can, if you can, if you can, if you can, if you can, if you can, if you can, if you can, if you can, if you can, if you can, if you can, if you can, if you can, if you can, if you can, if you can, if you can, if you can, if you can, if you can, you can, if you can, if you canology accepted. Sorry, I have zelic disease. I'm a zelic pheliac. Oh, okay, yeah, no, I understand that. Or is it zelic pheliac? Is he going to lick anything in the office? Just go ahead and give it a lick. Most of the stuff in the office is cocaine.

So, there's a wallpaper, tastes like snowsberries? Is that dumb to ask? No, it's not dumb to ask, but the snowspheres taste like snowspheres to volumptu, but it tastes like coffee. Oh, you have a bowl of snowspheres. I'm an idiot. Let me just... That is for patients.

That's a timidity. Would you like a snowspattery? I would love snowspheres. I love very sweet things. I don't know what it was, but ever since I was a child, I've always loved sweets. I have a real sweet tooth. I'm not sure what started that in me,. I have a real sweet tooth. I'm not sure what started that in me,

but I have a real sweet tooth all the time. Dr. Frod, should I say it or should you? Oh, please. I mean, child, by all means. It's impossible to tell why. I'm sorry, I was giving you a note, by alliments. Oh, by alliments. You just write that down.

Because I noticed the first ball is full and the almond ball is empty. I must have been high on cocaine. I must have eaten alter almonds. Okay. It may actually make that a separate page and then right groceries at the top and then just leave it on my desk when you leave. Gro trees? By the way. Yes, I got a busy day tomorrow. I got to go to the trees door and then I got to go to the alterman store.

Are you going to go to the almond brothers? The two brothers that sell almonds? I might go to the almond brothers. I might also go to the apple store because they have both trees and almonds. Yeah, then I also have to take my tablet there. I mean, the firmware and this thing is completely out of fact. Yeah, of course. And that would a beautiful wooden tablet.

This is gorgeous. It's magic or enchanted to sort of show you what your patients are thinking. Yeah. Yeah. It says here sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet mommy sweet sweet sweet mommy sweet sweet sweet sweet mommy. Well, we want to be able to know Timothy what is going on, but this is a source of your problem until we are able to apply some psychoanalysis to your life, which is why Timothy has been coming for many weeks, many weeks. We've been working on this. We've are able to apply some psychoanalysis to your life, which is why Timothy has been coming for many weeks, many weeks, we've been working on this,

we've been working on this. I think Dr. Frodd, I think I have it. Timothy, I see you're on the tablet that has magic capabilities. It's showing here your thoughts. It says sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet mommy and it repeats. I think mommy is, if I'm to unpack those a little bit,

I think mommy is one half of, ooh mommy, which is an unshieldous flavor, so I think you're lying to us. I think you don't enjoy sweet, I think you like you mommy. I think I just like to, everything has to be in balance. I think that's really astute. But are you a doctor? Yes, yes.

Uh, uh, Dr. Chant is a, as a renowned psychoanalyst. And he's a particular field. I hate to satisfy. He's sitting in on a session today. I'm from the field. It's about four meadows over. Um, it's a lot of lavender and dandelions. I'm from that field.

Oh, I love that. I, uh, I used to live over there. I used to live. There's a pile of wood in that field. Oh, I used to sleep on that pile of wood. Oh, I was always underneath that field. Oh, I love that. I used to live over there. I used to live there as a pile of wood in that field. Oh, I used to sleep on that pile of wood. Oh, I was always underneath that wood. And then the farmer would come out there in the summertime and start chopping wood and throwing more down.

It was great, but then winter time would roll around and they'd burn through all of the wood. And so I had to move. I couldn't take the noise anymore. Sure, of course. So you've had trauma in your past. Your home was burned down. Yeah, it was taken apart and then just burned in front of me. I just take it inside his house and burn my home.

Wow. He also built my home, so I suppose he had that right. I don't know. I do sort of hate myself, so I don't know what's right in the world. I mean, what you're saying before Timothy is absolutely right. It's, you know, the pharmacist, the pharmacist. It's all about balance, you know, like Viva say in your last session,

it is about your varfile. So, up, trying to, Dr. Chant, forgive me. I have to explain my theory of balance. So, what Timothy is talking about, is his default state that is fighting between his two greater impulses. That would be his waffle.

And then there is his super waffle. And his super waffle, this is what you go to a waffle bar and you're like, oh, I have my base level waffle, but I could put some ice cream on there or I could put some little chocolate, bunnies, I can't. Oh, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. Some kindies or some cream on top and the strawberries. And you go and you go and you go and you go and your waffle is too big.

Oh, and in the goal, if your waffle's too big, is to Lego your waffle. Mm-hmm. But in other side on it, we have the lid. The lid is the adverse to the super waffle because the lid is saying, no, I'll put the lid on the chocolate bunnies or I'll put the lid on the no, I'll put the lid on the chocolate bunnies or I'll put the lid on the sauce,

I'll put the lid on the ice creams. And your waffle is the balance between those things. And Dr. Fraud, what if a patient has an awful waffle? Where can't be cured? Here's the thing, everybody can be cured. Put some sugar on them, put them over a slow heat. Everybody can be cured. It just takes a lot of sessions that they pay for price for because I don't do copets

And I don't take any insurance a lot of cocaine that's more for me So I can kind of delve into the subconscious and unconscious sure and a lot more sessions all of this talk of waffles And I miss my mother. Oh my mother so much She's like a strip waffle. Oh, it's like a waffle so many left on their stoop. On their stoop? Then they're so good. The sun. Leaving the waffle and the sun makes it extra crispy.

Dr. Chant, this is a very good time for you to go into a practice that I call free association. So a Timothy mentioned strip waffle. I want you to feed Timothy words that you think of when you hear strip profile. Atimity you just say the very first thing that comes to mind and we analyze from there. We analyze your mental state by the words that come up organically. Okay, okay. Let me just, sorry, let me play this upright bass real quick. Ah, yeah, free association, man. All right. Waffles makes me think of syrup.

CERRUP makes me think of, um, think of my mother. Interesting. Interesting. CERRUP makes me think of maple. Maple makes me think of that farmer that tore down and burned my house. I'm getting so sorry. No, don't stop. I just keep going. I't go out. Maple makes me think of trees. What makes you think of forest? Oh, forest makes me think of where I met my last girlfriend. Oh, so you have a girlfriend? Yeah. Well, I used to have a girlfriend.

Oh, no. What happened? Well, Desiree was a lot bigger than me. And I got a little self-conscious around her. And, but she was very lovely and I don't want to get, this is a safe space here. Like nobody else can hear this session, right? Like, you're not like, nothing can really,

like this tablet can't record it and then send it out to other people to hear it. Dr. Fraud, we have Dr. Dr. Confidentiality, right? Of course, yes. Yeah, I have a microphone, I have a podcast microphone, I am recording, like I told you, I have to record all this. And like I told you, I don't know what that means. And it's fine with me.

Is this ethical for me to do? Don't you don't touch a very about it because we currently are in a two party state, which means if the two of us are having a party, no matter what is stated in here, has any on anything so I mean as long as we keep this party going and I'm gonna take a little a little bump at a speech not campaign and yeah the everything we do is cool and kosher and let me do a little bit of coke as well oh it's sorry it's weird to hear a pig say kosher

a big man pig man pig man yes please, call me Dr. Fraud, because we are in the office. Yes, we're in the office. We're kind of in a little aside here, and we did a bunch of cocaine together, and you drank some champagne. So that kind of does. You're right, it has kind of like a jovial,

kind of like a weakened vibe, but it's not, I mean, I, oh gosh. Why don't you just call me by my full name in that context. Just call me pig man Fraud. Dr. Pigman Fraud? God, you've, yes. I put a doctor on both ends and then they can't so each other out.

Dr. Pigman Fraud, doctor. Yes, perfect. Perfect. Okay, Timothy, you were talking about your girlfriend, Desiree, and I just wanna say, in here, you gotta be cool, you gotta be calm, you gotta stay together, but we are not going to record you. There is nothing that's gonna leave this office.

Oh, great. Okay, thank you. Desiree and I dated a few times, and it was lovely and it was nice, so very comfortable with her, and she invited me back to her place. Whoa. She wanted to watch some pictures on the web.

She just has a bunch of pictures up on her web, and we just kind of watched them. She would leave the pictures. Yeah, this is very good art, very good artist. And we had a lovely time and you kind of know what web pictures and chill means, right? You kind of know what that's gonna have an idea. And we started advancing towards that

and I got a little panicked because we got very close to make out. And I realized in that moment as we got face to face, we were about to kiss. And I screamed because I realized in that moment I have a rack nephobia. I'm terrified of spiders. Oh, you're self-loathing. I'm very self-loathing and I become scared of what I see in others and I do think it's a little validated because

We did make out some and then she tried to devour me. Oh And that's Chant be very careful in your engine. I'm sorry is it I was I thought I heard a lawnmower starting outside Where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where you start leading the patient to the conclusion, does you think might be the lead patient to water, but you can't make them think. What's Timothy has is a repressed memory. Yes, so we have to use the art of regression analysts to go into Timothy's memory and think out exactly what it is that's causing the erection for me because it could be anything It could be it could be so many different factors

It could be that you know the thing with his mother eating his father and then He could be that that but we don't know yeah, but it does make sense now that Timothy You were saying you now go on dates with women who are 9 10 times your size Which makes sense because they're not spiders because this date experience has ruined spiders for you. Well, they are spiders. They're just, girl spiders are just so much bigger than boys spiders.

Yeah, for real, for real. And I'm a very tiny giant spider. So when I need other giant spiders, yeah, even even the boys spiders I go out with are larger than me. I'm such a small spider. Now I'm by normed by like say a brown recluse. I'm huge.

I'm about a foot and a half long. Yeah. So that's a brown spider that doesn't leave his house. That's right. So no one would have any idea how big they are. They are so annoying, so quiet, real bummers. Timothy, do we have your permission because we absolutely need your permission to party?

We need your consent to party. So do we have your consent to go into your unconscious mind? Oh, absolutely. I would love to have you grab this scalpel and start cutting it. Never been able to spit that out. Dr. Chant, please, before we start cutting into the patient, he has to be unconscious first. I'm a bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit Yeah, we've got a spread. Oh, he's a jumper. He is a jumper. Look at that. Okay, it's not going to work Timothy

because you jumped too high and we are not fast enough to hit you because we're all jittery from all the cocaine. I have an idea. Based on that sort of bungled gift exchange last year, I have Arnie's pocket watch here. Should we just kind of sway this back and forth, distract him and then bonk him on the head?

You bungled that? Vashito off before you use it don't don't Carnival the don't be thinking about something that you bungled into the office Yeah, I think you're supposed to put all of the medical tools in the blue water first Okay, okay, I didn't want to do this But I'm gonna resort to magic here now you sir gave me some powder and Dr. Fraud what this oh That's good! You just run the visit? Yes, Yusur gave me that powder to shrink a patient's head.

Holy shoot, I'm shrinking inside of my head, but I said, oh, that's some fire powder. Oh, fuck. You gotta give me this guy's number. I have to get in contact with him. I've been in the magic tattoo. It's two? Yeah.

I've whispered to a bird or something. I'm trying to figure out how to get in touch with Tim. But now that that's the powder aside, Timothy, would you mind just pretending to be unconscious? We can do the same. Take it out. I'm just happy to. Now, I can't close my eyes. You notice that they're just big, full with black eyes and there are eight of them with

no lids on it. At all. So, but do know that I have just shut down my sight inside my own brain even though it doesn't look like I'm asleep and it looks like I'm glaring right at you. That you mentioned eight eyes. I gotta ask, eight legs. I do thank you for noticing.

Oh no, sorry, when you ate your mom. Eight legs. Eight legs. Eight eyes. and ate legs. Wow. Wow. Yeah. Okay. I missed her so much. We all do. What was her name? Oh, her name was Moriah. Oh, Moriah. Okay. You're getting very sleepy. Very sleepy. Your eyes are open. But the part of your brain that connects to the eyes is cut off. You're in a deep trance. Everything around you is dark.

This you're swimming through a pool of the piss. Okay, now all I can think of is piss. Someone's go with piss. But don't let it EQ out, okay? It's piss, but it's fine. Does that make sense? Timothy? Not perfect, it looks like it works.

Thanks, Dr. Chuck. Yeah. We are going to go back into your memory, Timothy. We want to go back to a time when you are maybe a little child. Can you describe what it is that you see in front of you, Timothy? Well, no, I'm in a giant white powdery sack. Mm. Great. now I'm hungry. I'm surrounded by 50 other tiny giant spiders. And these are my brothers and sisters. We're all kind of waking up.

Do you see Henry? I do see Henry. I see him, he's like two spiders over. I can see his ugly face, I hate him. Perfect, yes. Keep describing, so you see Henry, you see your other siblings. There's Ethan. There's Dominique. And now that you started, we do have to hear all of them.

David, there's Cody. I like Cody. Cody was Cody. It's really nice. If you stop to comment on Von individual spider, I forget I need to have a comment for the rest of the spiders. Oh, there's Jocelyn who also loves she loves cotton candy. So yes, who does? Leah who was super good at tennis. I don't even know what tennis is. She did. She just said she was good at tennis. I never saw her play. I can I can answer that tennis a number. Oh She was very good at 10 is something else. I don't know her sentence structure was terrible She was great at tennis though sometimes I get tennis into my jaw and it's a bit of a bitch There was a Randy Jackson who was he went off on a journey. Oh Melanie went off on a journey. Oh, Melanie. Melanie had a beautiful singing voice. There was also Brianna. Yes. Who was Brianna was Brianna was very good at catching bees. And that was

it's a real talent to have bees are delicious. You can feed on a bee for a long time. Yeah, they huge feet on a bee. Do you want me to keep going? To get through all 50? No, I think that's good. Well, we have 37 more, but, hey, Chan, if I did you do this? Why don't you just leave 37 blank spaces on the page? We may come back to the list of the latest topics.

Perfect. What else do you see, Timothy? I see, I can't tell what this is. It looks like a, you can tell us everything is confidential. Coming towards us. Okay, opposite. Giant oblong shape in it.

I don't know what it is, although now that I'm seeing it in my mind, it looks like the bottom of a shoe. Like a, like a human's shoe. Okay. All in this white sack on our mother's back and the shoe. White sack on our mother's back. We're in a white sack on our mother's back and the shoe. White sack on our mother's back. We're in a white sack. Got a mother's back. White sack on our mother's back. Yeah.

Yeah, I love rap music. And the shoe is coming down on to where we're all in the sack. It's coming down on us. And it comes down and it's crushing us. I realized now it was a shoe It stepped on all of us and we're all scattering in every different direction and then the shoe is gone We rush back to our mother all of a sit once and we see all of our little faces and scurrying legs And his and our mother says I'm you you must have me for nourishment. I can't go on children Wow, and she said that verbally or with her eyes She said that with with with two of her eyes.

And while you were eating your mother, were you waiting for the other shoe to drop? I was waiting for the other shoe to come back, right? Sure. Where there's one shoe, there's at least seven more. That's what Randy was always saying. That's vital logic. Yes, absolutely.

And you said it looked like a human shoe, but you didn't see a human attached to it. Do you think it could have been a shoe fly? They're getting a revenge on us, you know what I'm saying? Like, I know a lot of flies and they get drunk. I host the podcast at a bar. So that's a no big deal. But a lot of flies come in there to drink

because they're like fucking spiders. Like my whole family is just eaten by a spider. So I know that a lot of flies are pissed off at you guys. Yeah, I mean, I die, you know, listen, I will admit to having, I have a pet fly. Okay, that's perfect in normal. I have a pet fly, he's a very sweet guy named Travis. That was fun. And he's also a really delightful young fly. He's really friendly.

I do sometimes when he acts up threatened to wrap him in a web and pierce him with my venomous pincers until he turns into just sort of a liquid substance that I can suck out later like a juice bag. Boys will be boys. I mean, it sounds like, you know, yeah, locker room talking, it's my opinion. I don't know why flies would be mad at spiders.

We're very good owners of flies. I know a lot of spiders who have had flies as pets. So I feel like we're equal, right? Flies and spiders. Yeah, that's animals. I actually know old woman who swallowed a fly. Do you know why she might have done that? That fucking lady swallowed me too, to go get the fly.

It's when I lost my job as a web designer. I was looking for any kind of work. I'll be honest with you, I'll be honest with you, I showed up in that story, very later. She got all the way up to Pig Mad and I was like, lady, I'm a doctor. And she was like, I need some fucking help. Wow, that is. Yeah, but what a weekend, that'm a doctor. She was like, I need some fucking help. Wow, that is.

Yeah, but what a weekend, that's for us. The going in was a lot easier than the coming back out. I have to imagine. So Timothy, if I may, do you feel like you find yourself a lot of times just wishing people around you would turn into some sort of liquid you could drink? Like even us right now, every once in a while we touch upon a nerve and it feels like the glare that you're giving us with some of your eyes, not all of them, some of your eyes,

is almost as if you just wish we would turn into some sort of liquid that you could drink. And I'm sorry, I'm sorry about touching on a nerve, but I have to give you a massage because I am so hopped up on a cocaine that if I don't do something with my hands, I'm going to go and say, please come closer, please give me a massage, that sounds great. You're not going to really find any knots because as I said earlier, my entire body is a skeleton on the outside. I'm going to feel tense, but know that I'm very relaxed right now, doctor. There's a chance I might find some knots because I spilled a whole mess of garlic knots all over the office right before you came in and I found, I couldn't remember to make a half dozen or did I make a dozen because I found a half dozen But I could be another half dozen

Intivity how does that make you feel the massage? It feels fantastic. Thank you. And that's a deep bone massage Not bad. It's yeah, no. Thank you. I'm feeling I'm feeling very relaxed. Thank you And you you said you might want to turn everyone into liquid and it drinks the good, it comes out of them once you've turned them into liquid. But Timothy let me ask you a question. You came in here upset, very alone, very much like you needed a friend. If you turn everyone into the liquid, Timothy, very have any friends left over. You can't liquefy your problems, Timothy.

You're right. I would like to liquefy your problems, Timothy. You're right. I would like to liquefy my problems. It would help a lot. We all know it. Sometimes you get so mad and you just want to wrap somebody in a bundle and hold them because you love them so much. Like I've swaddled little baby

or a little pet fly swallowed in a thing but then something about that shape, you just want to dive your pincers right into it. Just have them slowly break down over time as they're blood and flesh and bone all kind of merges together into one. Just like a super, super delicious, like a very cool aid sort of thing, like a nice red, cool aid sort of thing. Huh. Sure, I mean, we all get to get to that impulse, you know, we all want to do, you know, something similar. And then, you know, I want to wrap up my enemies in some sort of swaddling or bundle,

hold them tight, and then wait till they turn into liquid and then basically squeeze it. Is that outdated? Is that mentality still around or did that go out in the 90s, squeeze it? No, no, no, no, we understand the reference point. Did that whip off? Twist off the top of their head and squeeze it. Yes, it's like a plastic rod down to the sides and you give it a counterclockwise twist. Yes, we do. And it's pretty good.

Well, that's it. I don't know about that. I mean, for me, my problems, I find that it is always best if I can try to see the bright side. You know, see the sunny side of my problems. So I like to compress them all into a little ball and then make that ball kind of a metallic pouch and then I like to take my pipe right here and I pierce the top of the pouch. Oh, do you get it on the first try? I mean, who knows, do you get it on the first try? Fun. I mean, who know what ever gets it on the first try?

Get it further up a little bit. But then I squeeze, I squeeze everything out of that pouch and I make sure the pouch is bone-fricking dry inside. And only then, only then, once all of the sun has escaped from the pouch, can I feel truly happy? Wow. That's, I mean, that sounds so good. I feel like it might even be better on the high seas. I mean, yeah, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, On to count for you are going to awaken from your slumber

You're going to have no memory of the things that we discussed value are In your unconscious state even though you have had you were just pretending I mean come on If you're pretending about that party can pretend about the forgetting part to what number did I say? You should have no memory. That's a sick question for For wake up. Oh, oh, okay. I didn't back for anything. What was that? My sister was good at 10. I wasn't good at any of the numbers.

Oh, okay, that's my bad. I mean, you were good. You said eight. You didn't know eight. Four, just... I know eight because it's the only number I have to know is a spider. I should have said the number at eight. I don't know if I'll have time of stinking.

Wait a second. I have my regular skin. I have my jacket skin. I have my boot skin.. I have my regular skin, I have my jacket skin, I have my boot skin, and I have my glasses skin. I have four skins. Ah, very good, Sean, very good. Just a fun little tidbit, fun little anecdote. Ah, I don't even know if it's an anecdote.

Ah, for a four skin, it's a fun tidbit. I do agree with that. If someone should have cut me off, I feel like it did it. You should have cut me off. Oh, sorry, you shouldn't have, it's not that you had to cut me off. I'm just saying, it would be okay if you did cut me off. Oh, sorry, you should have, it's not that you had to cut me off. I'm just saying it would be okay if you did cut me off.

Not that you have to, because it's fine if you didn't cut me off. That's, I think that gets a bad rap and gets stigma. It doesn't get dirty. I was not gonna go somewhere blue and dirty. Chant, chant, may I just say? Less is more than a situation. Oh, so you should have cut me off. Yes, Timothy. Awakening from your state, tell me.

Do you feel a little better? I do. It's so nice to hear other people's voices. It's so nice to be around. Yeah, it's so good. To have like some positivity in some people to ask me questions and not be scared of me. You don't, you're curious about me

and it feels like I'm really connecting and I would like to find this in the real world for myself and not have people be frightened of me just because of what I look like. And I don't want to be frightened of other spiders for how they look. Yes, yes. That's wonderful.

Let me, Dr. Fraud, why don't we tag team this? Dr. Fraud, sorry, Dr. Pigman, sorry, Dr. Pigman, Fraud, Dr. we're gonna start tagging this. We're gonna throw out words now, and let's see what you associate with these words at this point. I'll go first, mother. Still water pond. Fun. I think about a home.

Spiders. Hey, I'm still really freaked out by that, but I'll go with the game, go with the game. Pals. Pretty Anna. She was one good at tennis. I get them all mixed up. Did I mention Autumn? Autumn was fantastic too.

I loved Autumn. Kristen, also, and Alejandro. All three of them. They they could harmonize. 34. 34. Lick with fire. I think about I think about a snack.

Timothy, your brain is going some more. Tell us. Describe it. I think about just finding my own wood pile somewhere. Yes. Near a near a lake. Maybe it's a wood pile that's just naturally occurring. No farmers and I buy myself and I'm catching any naturally occurring wood piles.

But yes, let's go with it. Let's go with it. Dragon flies. Well, all dragons fly. But yes, let's go with it. Okay, sure. Sure. Let's go with it.

Yeah, it's going. Dragon's flying. I just like a view. I want a home for myself and nearby, I'll meet a beautiful spider named Mercedes, or Preston. Ooh, you have expensive tastes. Hannah?

Hannah, is that a name of a spider? Despiders go by Hannah? That sounds like a good spider to meet. And we're settling down to have a family of our own. Yes. And I don't get devoured after doing it. Unless she's into that. Hmm, miss.

People are into all kinds of things. I don't, a wise man once told me, eatin' ain't cheating. It's all about just talking through your desires and what you want. And if somebody wants to devour their partner, that's a thing. Wow, I accept it. Did you hear yourself Timothy?

You just said the word desire. Yeah. Do you know what name sounds like desire? Alejandro? Yes. Do you know Alejandro? He was one of my brothers. I'm getting an Alejandro from somewhere over here.

Is there someone over here who knows an Alejandro? Is that something from your past? Oh, you know who knew Alejandro? Actually, you met Alejandro was my ex-girlfriend Desiree. Oh, Desiree. Oh, I forgot about her Desiree. Desiree, yeah. Her name sounds like desire.

You know, actually, Timothy, you bring up a very good point. And I want to ask you all, look at that, that's the time. Isn't it always the way, well, that's the session. We have a very busy day ahead of us. Timothy, lots of other clients to see wouldn't be fair to them if we took up all day.

Just kind of just chatting with you now, but it's a... Do I get like a discount rate since there's two of you? Is there 50% off sort of deal? Manly could validate your parking if you parked her. She can have validated for that and know it. Sorry, am I early? I heard someone say this count. Uh, count, please. Is this count's turn?

Mellie, what are you doing? You're letting him in? Come on, I mean, do you have one job? Is the guard at door and answer the phone? Sally sweetheart. It's, who's this? Is your boyfriend? Mellie, you can't have a boyfriend about here.

Okay, I'll dump him Right you're dumping me. Oh fuck. Who's this guy? This is another Dracula? Melanie hold on everybody out everybody else I'm so sorry about No, not to you. I mean, yeah're a professional college. Sorry, it's Timothy. Not my apologies to think. That you had to see that and so sorry. I usually like to find a better operation for people.

Can I ask, and I'll talk in front of both of you, what is the typical rate that you charge, Dr. Pickman, fraud doctor? I charge my vet on a sliding scale. So I hope you had a light breakfast. Okay, and he slid down and, oh, dense for a badger. Very nice.

This is a dragon scale that's been manipulated into a slide. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, sliding scale. Whee. What does it say at the top? Oh, no badgers. No badgers. I'm sorry.

Yes, there's a lot of sides. So we can read about it. But it's, you know, the slide is $1. So, you, you, you, you, you. Oh, I see the sign. Side is $1. No badgers. If mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy.

Pobody's nerficked. Hang in there, Kitty. Yeah, someone's hanging there, Kitty. My other slide is a fucking dragon. There's a lot of, we can all say. We can all be really excited. Timothy, any signs that you like in particular? I'm a big fan of its wine o'clock.

I had one on one of the logs I lived under. Oh, that's nice. That's nice. Science, science, everywhere there's just science. Um, but I saw the sign that I said, well, I just opened up my eyes. I must have it. And I put it into my office.

I just open up your eyes. That's so you don't fall asleep, I assume. How do you read it when you do fall asleep? To remind yourself not to fall asleep. I go into my subconscious. It's very interesting. It's very interesting. It's supposed to be for work.

Well, Dr. Bigman, for Dr. Timothy, the small giant spider. I wanna thank the two of you for providing me a free education. This was so much fun. I feel like I learned so much and I have so much to take back to my friends and specifically my best friend, Mr. Arnie Neapamp. So if you ever see a giant, well a small giant man named Arnie, please be nice to him. Yeah, I mean, I'm nice to everybody. I don't know if I would single a doubt like I would be fit, like mean to him. Huh, Dr. Pigman, frauds, doctors, eyes are moving and, and his

nose is bleeding, but he's not saying anything, but it looks like he thinks he's stalking. Dr. Stubbs, Dr. Stubbs, Dr. Stubbs, Dr. Stubbs, Dr. Stubbs, Dr. Stubbs, Dr. Stubbs, Dr. Pigman, frauds, doctors, eyes are moving and his nose is bleeding, but he's not saying anything, but it looks like he thinks he's stalking. Dr. Sop, Dr. Pett, Dr. Pett, Dr. Pett, Dr. Pett, Dr. Pett, Dr. Pett, Dr. Pett, Dr. Pett, Dr. Pett, Dr. Pett, Dr. Pett, Dr. Pett, Dr. Pett, Dr. Pett, Dr. Pett, Dr. Pett, Dr. Pett, Dr. Pett, Dr. Pett, Dr. Pett, Dr. Pett, Dr. Pett, Dr. Pett, Dr. Pett, Dr. Pett, Dr. Pett, Dr. Pett, Dr. Pett, Dr. Pett, Dr. Pett, Dr. Pett, Dr. Pett, Dr. Pett, Dr. Pett, Dr. Pett, Dr. Pett, Dr. Pett, Dr. Pett, Dr. Pett, Dr. Pett, Dr. Pett, Dr. Pett, Dr. Pett, Dr. Pett, Dr. Pett, Dr. Pett, Dr. Pett, Dr. Pett, Dr. Pett, Dr. Pett, Dr. Pett, Dr. Pett, Dr. Pett, Dr. Pett, Dr. Pett, Dr. Pett, Dr. Pett, Dr. Pett, Dr. Pett, Dr. Pett, Dr. Pett, Dr. Pett, Dr. Pett, Dr. Pett, Dr. Pett, Dr. Pett, Dr. Pett, Dr. Pett, Dr. Pett, Dr. Pett, Dr. Pett, Dr. Pett, Dr. Pett, Dr. Dr. Pett, Dr. Pett, Dr. Pett, well I'll just, I'll just see what I can do on the lobby. Just look for another page. Sorry, spider's are gross. Well thanks everyone. I'll see you next time on Night Ships. Oh yeah, if you listen to that and thought I gotta get some more of that crazy content, just head over to the Magic Tavern Patreon page at patreon.com slash magic tavern. You can become a paid pimp. Look, you can become a patron and support our independent production. But that's not all.

For only $5 per month, you get some choice benefits, like two new bonus episodes each month. You can also hear Arnie, Yusudor, and Shant talk about fast food, mascots, earth comics, and all sorts of other nonsense. Plus, you get access to the Magic Tavern Discord with a quarterly virtual meet and greet with the host. A monthly newsletter from the host, early access to live events and the full back catalog of bonus content,

ad free, including every single Magic Tavern spin-off series. To learn more, I'm become a patron, visit patreon.com slash Magic Tavern. That number again is patreon.com slash Magic Tavern. Shant, the talking, shape shifter bat badger I don't know was played by Adlerify. Dr. Pigman Fraud was played by John Patrick Cohen. You can check out Adel and JPC on their other podcast Hey Riddle Riddle and go to at jpsofly to follow jpc on twitter.

Timothy was played by Jeffrey Crainer. Jeffrey is the co-creator of Welcome to Night Vale. Check out everything Night Vale at Welcome to Night Vale.com. This episode was produced by Adlerify and Matt Young, post-production coordination by Garrett Schultz, special assistance by Ryan D. Georgie. This episode was edited by Tim Joyce, logo by Aller LeBon, theme by Andy Poland.

And finally, make sure you tune back in next week when we'll have a very, very special Patreon preview episode. That's right, you'll hear it here first. I hope you all had a very happy holiday season. Ow, ow, ow, ow. Ow. I stubbed my toe. you