Hello From The Magic Tavern - PREVIEW: Make Your Bracket

Episode Date: March 4, 2024

Arnie, Chunt, and Usidore create a bracket of magic users for the new tradition of March Magic. Listen to the full episode at patreon.com/magictavern.Credits Arnie: Arnie Niekamp Chunt: Adal Rifai Usidore: Matt Young Nerf: Eddie PiñaProducers: Arnie Niekamp, Matt Young, and Adal Rifai Associate Producer: Anna Havermann Post-Production Coordination: Garrett Schultz Editor: Red Keener Magic Tavern Logo: Allard Laban Theme Music: Andy PolandProducers: Arnie Niekamp, Matt Young, and Adal RifaiAssociate Producer: Anna HavermannPost-Production Coordination: Garrett SchultzEditor: Red KeenerMagic Tavern Logo: Allard LabanTheme Music: Andy PolandCheck out the new merch at our Teepublic store!Follow the show on YouTube to listen to the episode alongside two dynamic static animations of the tavern!You can support the show directly and receive bonus episodes and rewards by joining our Patreon at https://www.patreon.com/magictavern for only $5 per month. Follow us on X and Instagram, and now Patreon!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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on a new adventure every week. Listen to The Cat in the Hat Cast early and ad-free on Wondry Plus. Hey, this is Nerf with a quick taste of what's going on on the Magic Tavern Patreon. It's March Magic and everyone on the Patreon is voting on what magic users are better than whatever other magic users. Here's the first 13 minutes or so of the Patreon episode putting together the bracket. Not the whole episode, but enough to get you all hot and bothered about it. Have a listen. All right guys, we are interrupting the usual hello from the Magic Tavern Patreon feed, so offices and bosses has just taken a slot off it. It'll be back, but we are putting together our very first March Magic,

sort of March Madness Bracket for the world of food. Now, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, yes, I am now opening the floor to questions. Yusidor. Why? Good question. So here, on my world, earth, where I come from, I'm not from this world,

um, there's a thing called March Madness that people go crazy for. Yes, oh yes, I haven't finished my answer, but uh, Chunt, yes. Why? Yeah, why do they go crazy? Great follow, they go crazy because they just love this thing called brackets. They love, like They love like having things compete with other things. I think it started in the podcast world where podcasts like Doe Boys and Blank Check do these brackets to sort of eliminate

things down throughout March and that got so popular that basketball teams started doing it as well. Yousar or Arnie's told us about this before he said it was one of his favorite things when he was 16 or 17 It's a black and white thing It's two guys in turtlenecks and one always says would you like to pet my monkey or something like that? Brackets. Oh, yeah, brockets. Brackets. That's what it is. Brockets So I don't want to get too distracted by all that Guys that should be my new catchphrase. I should just say that all the time.

Would you like to pet my monkey? No, I should say I don't want to get distracted by all of that and just- Now is the time up, Rocket, so we dance! Guys, stop dancing! It's so fun, I see why people go crazy for this. Weeee! So, what we're gonna do is is we are gonna come up with about 16 Magic users in fune and they're all gonna compete against each other not using magic

But in the court of public opinion our patreon listeners are going to vote on Who would beat who until it's eventually narrowed down to there's one winner. Wow Arnie can I just say the court of public opinion a place where all magic is zapped away where everyone just leaves frustrated and annoyed and furious with one another because they put forward their opinion and it doesn't match up with somebody else's Wow. This is gonna be delightful Yes, you sir. What's your question?

So you have do boys on earth Yeah, we do they're great Much more popular than we are Do they do they poke each other's tummies? Yeah? Yeah, I mean emotionally, right? They sort of giggle Yes, they do and then they and then they and then they talk about a lot. Yes. What's that? Well, doh boys here and food are just little little men made of dough with little little baker's hats little blue

Ribbon on them and and they're very cute. run around, they poke each other in tummy and they they laugh every time you poke them in the tummy. What do they do for work? Hold on, at night, uh, user, here's what they do for work. They bake each other and then they eat each other. It's terrifying. Ruthless until there's only one and then the remaining one gains all their power until they get so big that they Collapse under the weight of themselves and turn into

Thousands of little dough boys and it starts all over again. That's right. Can that be the first participant the domain? Sure. Okay. Let's see here The dome but so wait, are we gonna be doing an entire races of magic users? Whoa, whoa, whoa. What? What do you think? Like are we, I guess I thought we were gonna maybe do, be doing like individual magicians or sorcerers, but you're suggesting like an entire race, like a magical race, right? Unless I'm not understanding what you're saying.

Well they're kind of one big symbiotic being, you know, they do devour each other and there's a kind of a life cycle that they're kind of, even though they're each individual little doemen, they're sort of like, I don't know how to describe it. They're sort of immortal? Yeah. And Arnie, there's a big question. They're immortal and there's a big question. Which came first? The men or the boys? Hmm. Right. a big question. Which came first? The men or the boys? Hmm, right. The eternal question. Okay, so are we putting the dough boys or the dough men on the bracket? Let's put dough man because that's when they're all united. That's when there's one winner and it grows and grows.

Okay, dough man. Right before it bursts into the dough boys again. Let's say dough man. Dough man. Okay. Yeah. Alright. Okay, well, Well, you know, in the Northwest of Foon, other than the Doughmen, there are several other interesting sorcerers and magical creatures. I mean, there's Guiltronan. Guiltronan? Yes, he's a centaur. And Giltronan the centaur is well-known for his moon magic. And when the moon is full, he'll call down, you know, raging fires and terrible plagues.

But other times, he'll use it to cast a feast. You know, he's unpredictable, I would say, in the way he applies his magic over the world. He's a force of nature, a skilltron in the center. I put him on the list for sure. Okay, yeah, and you know what, I think we've got a pretty good cadence going here where we each do one, right?

So I'll come up with one. I don't really know as many magic users in food Well, I was starting I was this might help you Yeah, when we talked about the doh man that made me think of Gil Tronan because they're both in the Northwest So maybe someone else from the Northwest maybe just you know Yeah, let's make me yeah, maybe you do it by region. You know do I I know anyone I don't know if that's how they do it on earth but I just wanted to throw that out there what's that you know what I'm gonna go with Chris Angel I'm not familiar with Chris he's this is is it okay if I throw in some earth

magicians some earth magic users so this is an angel named Chris yeah yeah I thought you said they don't do magic on Earth. Well, you know, they do their own sort of thing. They do it. Look, it's kind of not real magic, but it's entertaining. OK. Especially if you have a sense of irony. Oh, so like it's like Usador.

Hey. Exactly. Watch your little badger mouth. What are you going to do? Make a little hat at me? Oh, oh, oh. You don't think I will? Bing! Oh.

Yes. I got Arnie, I got one. I've been holding one. You're collecting these hats. So I'm very excited. Oh, and I'm sorry, I should have clarified. It's Chris Angel, colon, mind freak. Whoa! The colon mind freak?

He's a mind freak, guys. in mind his brain is this colon? Wow, that is that is a mind freak. Why wouldn't you just go by mind freak? It's a much stronger name I don't know. I think Chris Angels a pretty good name Now does he freak your mind out because of his magic or is his like I don't know his clothing really busy? Very good question. Both. Both things totally inseparable from each other. Although you went no, hold on.

No, it's the, it's the close. Oh, magic is very secondary to the point of maybe being non-existent at times. Oh, now that's the greatest trick the Christ angel ever pulled. Well, there's a old saying in Foon, which is, the clothes maketh the magic. Oh. You said, how much of your clothes would you say are responsible for your magic? Responsible for?

Yeah. Well, I wouldn't say any of it's responsible for. I'd say like, the accoutrements and garments that I have gathered over the years, so I was born into this world of a conspiracy of wind and bird and rain and fire and frogs and squirrels and whales that insisted there be a champion But I was completely naked And then I found a big staff a a big stick, that was the first thing I did. And then I started, you know, I started finding rings

and robes and talismans and all sorts of crap that enhanced my magical abilities and focused my magical abilities. Hmm. I'm sort of, sort of without those things, I'm sort of like unfocused raw magic. Mm-hmm. Arnie, did we know about the whales?

I don't know that we knew about the wind and the earth and the fire or whatever. But yeah, I didn't know whales were. Yeah. And Chun, thank you. I know we haven't talked to usador about this, but clearly sometime ago we decided that we would take turns listening to what you were saying. And thank you. We decided that we would take turns listening to what you saw was saying and And thank you. I know it was your turn because I wasn't listening at all when we were both doing it I felt like information was leaking out of my ears exactly. How are you? Okay? Oh, Arnie? I'm so trying to get your turn. Yes. It's my turn

I gotta say this is so delightful just to mentally picture how you describe to bracket It's so fun to think about 16 people competing like that sounds so sweet. And then you narrow it down to eight and those those eight have to be like, they're like the elite, right? Mm hmm. And then when you get down to four, that's the final. That's it. Like there's there's four final people.

That's it, right? Because it's well, there is there is four final people. But then there's the... There's the two. There's just the two. There's no... Which I guess is just like the final, the final, the final matchup. Final two. But they should really work two into that name.

Terrific two? The terrific two. And then the top two just sort of have a co-winning state. Yeah, they're both winners. Is that right or... No, they compete. At the end of this there's going to be one winner, unless of course it's the Doman, in which case it's thousands of winners that are symbiotically connected as one.

So we get down to the final four, then we go to two, then we go to one. So there's only one winner of brockets. Now I'm as happy as a little girl. Wow, he's really pulling his robe out from the chest. I know. I guess that'll hold up 25 years from now. Sure.

Probably. We have to assume. Okay. Arnie, I don't know, and you sir, let me know if this counts, cause I know some creatures that you all are probably not aware of. Um, let me know if this counts. Do y'all know Wily Potatoes, the rat with a wand inside of him? Wily Potatoes, the rat with a wand inside of him. No, he's used to it.

I'm sorry to laugh. He's used to it. But Wily's one of my favorite guys. Oh, they do it. And every time I think about it, I laugh. Oh, of course, yeah. So, Orney, what this is, is nobody knows when and nobody knows who, but at some point in time, a wizard tried to kill a rat by stabbing it with its wand.

Absolutely skewered it. But the rat lived and ran away and as it scampers around anytime it coughs or fart magic spews from either end really one of the most powerful creatures in all of food but he can't really control it is he the creature that's always trying to catch the reed ruiner I want to say yes, but I'm not going to. Not worth delving into that aspect. So Wily Potatoes. Okay, Wily Potatoes, the rat with a wand inside him. Okay, rolls off the tongue.

Wily Potatoes, you know, I've been trying to recruit him to my band of heroes for decades. You know, it's an unusually long-lived rat because of the wand also, that I don't think Chunt mentioned that part. Yes, the magic is random. Yes, the magic is out of control. The rat really can't control the magic. But all the time, Wily's sort of become, I don't know, I would say, more, well, less rat-like. You know, and taking on some some more been personified a bit more

And it was just really funny sweet guy sweet guy. I sweet as hell Okay anytime it's your birthday he will cast a spell in your direction now whether or not you see it You're there to you know receive it. That's another matter, but he will absolutely cough in your general direction Yeah, he eats a lot of chili Just so you can cast those birthday spells Okay, like I said, that's just the first part of the episode. The rest is available to Patreon subscribers at patreon.com forward slash magic tavern. The voting has already begun on some of the matchups, but there's still plenty of time to get on the fun and vote for your favorite magic users.

Plus, it's a great way to support the podcast. There should be a link in the show notes. That's it for now. I'll see you March 18th with a new season of Hello from the Magic Tavern. ["The Magic Tavern"] Wonderie's new podcast, Blame It on the Fame, dives into one of pop music's biggest controversies.

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