Hello From The Magic Tavern - Season 2, Ep 61 - Chunt's House

Episode Date: May 28, 2018

Chunt’s house gets pretty full when Arnie and Usidore are visited by Arnor and the Soul Walker.CreditsArnie: Arnie NiekampChunt: Adal RifaiUsidore: Matt YoungArnor: Blaine SwenSoul Walker: Ross BryantCraig: Ryan DiGiorgiTricia: Kate JamesProducers: Arnie Niekamp, Evan Jacover, Ryan DiGiorgiEditor: Chris RathjenTheme Music: Andy PolandMagic Tavern Logo: Allard LabanAudio Assistance: Jason KnoxProduction Assistance: Garrett SchultzYou can support the show directly and receive bonus episodes and rewards by joining our Patreon at https://www.patreon.com/magictavern for only $5 per month. Follow us on Twitter and Instagram, and now Patreon!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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collide in a game of life and death. Binge all 10 episodes of Academy, early and ad-free on Wondery Plus. Hey, this is Trisha up here in the space bunker. Hi, still trying to figure out the best strategy moving forward now that the mysterious man was flushed out of the airlock into space to never return again. Or at least, you know, that's what I'm assuming. It's kind of like, you know, once you accomplish a really big goal that you've been thinking about for a long time, it's like, you know, what's my next goal?

And I'm probably should have, like, journaled about that or something, because this first goal happened. And while we listen to this week's episode, I'm going to see if I can find the keys to any of the locked doors in this bunker. And while we listen to this week's episode, I'm going to see if I can find the keys to any of the locked doors in this bunker. I like to work on projects while I listen to podcasts, but that's just me. You do whatever is most comfortable to you. Enjoy! Hello from the Magic Tavern.

A weekly podcast from the magical. Well, it's not really from the Magic Tavern. There's a word in my novel. I know, John, but the thing is that like, there's a familiarity, like it's the name of the show, so I still have to say it even though it doesn't literally I just don't allow it to our listeners. So I don't know if you want to call it like,

hovel from the Magic Tavern or hello from, from John's hovel. Huffle from the Magic Tavern? I'm just trying to work with you, a compromise. Okay, look, no, I get it. We are currently staying in your Huffle and we were like, hey, let's do an episode from Chunch Huffle. But maybe, I guess it could be hello from Chunch Huffle?

Yeah, that sounds good. Oh, how about this? Okay, I got it. I know what it's gonna be. I just agreed to the one you said. Nope, but I changed my mind. All right, Mundle, if you could do just a little bit, again, all right.

Hello from the Magic Tavern, Chunch Huffle Edition. Yeah, that's pretty good. Yeah, I like that voice you did. Oh great. Also, in case you want to use it, my Havill does have a name. You know, some people in food will name their manners or their houses or their Havill.

So my Havill does have a name if you want to use it. Sure, what's it called? Niggula. What's it called? Niggula. Niggula? Nope. Fine, that's fine.

You don't have to use it. Okay. I was just trying to bump set you but if you don't want to spike down, you don't want to take your ball and go. No, whatever you want to do, nope. Fine, that's fine. You don't have to use it. Okay. I just try to bump set you, but if you don't want to spike down, you don't want to take your ball and go. No, whatever you're doing, man. We're in your space. Yeah. Why don't you enter the show? Live from hobble negila, it's the juncture

featuring Arnie and Yusodore. I am Yusodore. I'm, uh, well, so why are you feeling so damn low in here? Because I'm a badger. It is a very small little hovel. Dirt house. Dirt house.

It's we living in this dirt hole. Now, this is our lives. Does it have to be? I should just go home. I don't want to do this show this week. Yusunor, are you okay, bud? Well, I'm crammed in this little tiny room. With the two of you and I'm...

Uhhhhhh! I'm feeling a bit frustrated. Yeah, I know. We normally host this podcast in the taverns for a million minotaur in the town of hogs face in the land of fun, but Sensec TV, a barleyfoot, came back and kicked us out. We're half into sleep over it. Chun's hoveled Nagila. Oh, now you're on board. Listen, guys, I know it's a bit of a full house, all right,

but there's no need to call the fucking dirt hole. I mean, how rude. Well, I'm just gonna- It is a whole duck into the dirt. I'm just worried it's gonna become a fuller house. We'll never let that happen, okay? I will personally see that that never happens. But Chun, thank you so much for letting me crash here.

Yeah, of course, you're welcome. And it's been a while since I've seen your amazing sex tapestry. Yeah, it's been a little bit attitude, of course you're welcome. And it's been a while since I've seen your amazing sex tapestry. Yeah, there's been a little bit attitude obviously. Some flamingo. Yeah, I know. So when you have sex with another animal, then how, how soon?

How am I knee? You said, or I'm asking, I'm asking, I'm asking, I'm asking very important sex tapestry. Oh, I just can't, trying to get comfortable. So who, who adds to this tapestry? the the work on it is impeccable. It's a enchanted tapestry So it just oh I have a bond with it So it knows when I've fornicated and then the next morning it will have

Magic itself into a longer tapestry. Oh, have you ever this is very personal question. Have you ever like not remembered that you had Relations and then you wake up in the morning and you look at your tapestry and like oh, no No, that's good. That's healthy. Yeah, I just don't know about yourself Get to know why I was trying to turn your life into an 86 comedy. I'm not a mess. Yeah, that's great Do you have anything to drink? So why I was trying to turn your life into an 86 comedy. I'm not a mess. Yeah, that's great. Yeah. Do you have anything to drink? Yeah, I have some, let's see here,

have some groundwater. Is that good? Sure. Do you have any, like, bar snacks, or anything, or any kind of alcohol? I could fry up some grubs, some silkworms maybe. Yeah, cool. You know what some cow pizzle?

Oh, no. Good. This is what I eat when I'm at home. No. Are you like a king? Yeah, I guess so. Yeah, I have a couple cow dicks, it's fine. That's a spirit.

Wait, that's what it is then. Yes. I went in the gila. Okay, guys, look, let's still try to have our regular podcast. He's going to town on that cow puzzle. Shut up. That's, I mean, that's used to it.

Use it over. Just don't. Sock on that piggle. Unlip, can I have tea? Lately. You're not supposed to use your teeth. Oh, there. Oh, I'm good.

Just another normal episode. Just another, just another normal episode. But it's great. Like, people probably are very curious about your hobble. Yeah, so let me paint you a mental picture for you to do not here. So I have a fairly low to the ground sort of couch. It is hune from wood.

So it's a little uncomfortable as you should or as let us know. We have my tapestry kind of wrapping around the hobble. Here's where I sleep, this little bed here, this modest bed. I have my crown and my different hats on this play here. A lot of hats. A lot of hats, yeah. So those are all on display. Then when I go out, I'll choose one or many and stack those and wear those.

I've never seen you wear some of these other hats. You've got a lot of novelty hats. Mm-hmm. Yeah, I have an oversized cowboy hat. Do you know what I'm saying here? This is like one of those pork pie hats. Oh, yeah. Looks good.

Yep. I have this cap, but sometimes I'll wear it backwards if I'm feeling fresh. This is nice. Yeah. And I see over here, huh? This is, what are you looking at? Toothed ores toothbrush.

Oh, yeah. Cause he stays over sometimes. And then also over here, you'll notice a colony of bees. That's where two sudores bees will make honey. So I have that to add to my king's juice. Hold on. So can I sit on this? Ugh!

Just where you're breaking stuff. I will. I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I you know, I cut a little scrap from the overalls you gave me. So it's just a lot of stuff to remember you buy. There's a chunk of the wall when you drove your car through the room, from my mini-tores, kept a chunk of the wall, it's scraped off a little bit of the paint from your car just to have that in a little vial. Oh, that's weird. Just things to help me remember you. Remember me.

In case, in case you ever leave, okay? In case you ever go back to Earth, I just want to have some keep-sakes. I want to remember you, finally. So whenever I can, I have some of your blood here still. I collect a lot of samples, too. What? Arnie, when day you're going to be gone, and I don't know if you're taking us with you or something.

Well, yeah, I mean, someday, I'm going to definitely go back to Earth and be reunited with my family, but both of you guys have come in with me, baby. That's so cool. We're coming with you. Yeah, you're coming with me, baby. Oh, you don't have to use baby when you're in my hovel,

but hey, I appreciate it. You know what, baby? I mean, it's sincerely, baby. Aww. You're coming with me, baby. Yeah, and you said, or if you would, you said, and then a baby, and you said, or you're welcome to come if you want.

Well, I should go to Earth, baby. Yeah, first comes love, then comes marriage, then comes baby, and the baby carries. What would I have to do on earth? That's a good question. I think you would just be like an Interesting specimen kept that does not sound particularly appealing. I'm going to be honest if I were put on display Surely I would commit acts of such great magical prowess and OOOH would be amazed! But if I was simply kept in a cage, some sort of side show to be admired from far away. You said or the no, no, no, you wouldn't be kept in a cage, you would only be kept in,

at worst you'd be kept in the metaphorical cage of celebrity. Celebrity? Would I be famous on your world? I think so. I mean, honestly, I think you're relatively famous on earth. Already. No, definitely. A little bit.

Hey, there's maybe a niche of a fandom, but I don't think I would definitely not categorize myself as, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah definitely not categorize myself as eeeeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyey Shush your mouth. Don't even say just something like that. I just been listening to my brother and my brother and me, and I feel like those guys, like if they got lost, like they'd be found, like they had a park out like this, they'd blast a week and then it'd be done. Oh, okay. Maybe I haven't been explicit enough in asking.

People on earth, if you're listening to this, save me. Like, I don't start working on some technology to get me back to earth and my buds, baby. Oh, whoa. Whoa. Oh, um, guys, did you hear the whole really strong knocking and that sort of like oral cold sound? It's like a breathy.

I would say let the window open, but I don't have any windows in it. It's freezing. You've become a hot man to fight on Come on, eee-nee-cam! It's Arnor. Arnor, the warrior! Put out the candle, put out the candle! Tim, look, we're not here! It's like a trick-or-treat when we ran out of candy.

What? Let darkness descend within this cave. Oh no! Put on the candle! Put on the candle! Comfortable for such as we. Oh my god, I remember that voice. It's been so long, but I think...

I think it's Vincent Price from the thriller video outside the door. What? Darkness falls across the land. A midnight hour is close at hand. Creatures crawl in search of blood. Dictatorize your neighbor. What are the odds that he knew? What do you mean? I'm just speaking off the dome.

Quick, quick, we got it. They know we're here. We got it. John, you got to answer the door. He's gonna break your hovel. Who is it? Vengeance. Death. Murder. Rage.

There's four people out there. It sounds like, is that well, at least it's not Arnor. Yeah, that's true. It is Arnor. Don't you recognize his voice? I do. I can hear, I can almost picture his chest. Oh, such a chisel, dude.

He must be locked in mortal combat with the Sohaka. Mortal combat? Yes. Yes. Yes. For Man's Other Door. Get over here. Alright, I'm an open-door and you guys finish him. What? That's gross.

Well, we gotta do something. I mean, it's like, soo-subserole- You're all those puzzles. Yeah. Here you go. Uh, uh, oh, hello? Ah! Oh! But one foot in the door and you're already mucking me with that pistol. I muck you not on or, but I do stand between you and my friend, Arnie. You shall not strike him down.

While you're sador, do still draw air, and I am willing to throw in with you to help you defeat this evil... ...apparition, the soul walker. Why would I want to defeat my best friend? That's right you Sittor you are speaking to my companion my Confident dead. I say my Unpaid inter What he called you best friend and he called you unpaid inter.

They mean relatively the same thing. Sure, really shocked gasp. I hope you're at least getting credit. Now, if you have thrown in with the forces of evil or not, then know that you have made an enemy of usador, wizard of the 12th realm of a fesiest master of light and shadow, manipulator of magical delights, devour of chaos, champion of the great halls of truckous, known to the elves as fiendyarch, known to the dwarves as sonan and hook stengies, and known in the north east as gasmainiest mace star, and

oh how I do hope that some secret name doth enter the very forefront of vine brain and upset it aflame. Your spills shall be impotent on me, you sador. Oh, I think none shall be more impotent than the, for the buzzards of scurve already made sure of that. AHHHHH! Again, you mock me! Oh, there's limits to your power, you scittor. It was I who gave back all Noah's virility.

What? And my memories. Oh no, but yes, what is more, my testicles returned to me. Oh my god. For a time. And then, for new listeners Arnor yes Wrap this up in as succinct away as possible. I'm very excited to hear this Arnor

Always wanted to fight me because he thinks my name is shorter than his It's shorter than mine. We had a confrontation and Yucidore got rid of all of his memories and he ran off and we fought the Soul Walker at some other point and I thought we defeated it and completely destroyed you. And I guess somehow in the intervening time, you guys have become best buds. The souls you've banished after erasing the ruin on my skull flitted about and merely found another corpse to inhabit. We discovered Arnor and gave him what he desired, if he would only join with us. And eagerly did I, and here now I have met my kindred spirit and bosom friend.

And he runs errands for me, for free, to gain experience. Which is a dear thing to be paid in. Best buds. Oh, oh no, how you have fallen. Do you not feel the shame of the eyes of children looking at you with disgust as they once did look to thee with great happiness and joy? Who are you to speak of shame, you sir? I know all of shame.

Who defends the forest with the audible sounds of your pistol calling? Oh, that's exactly how we found it. As though we wouldn't have found our way to this hovel if it hadn't been for the unholy munchings of Yusador. Guys, don't come to where we work and slap the pistol out of his mouth. Everyone knows you're not supposed to chew on like that. Just open up your throat and push him right down. Slurp it! Fine, so you've found us, so I shall stand against the here. If I can pull, draw my sword and lift my staff.

Let me move the three-movacate. Oh, you're pulling a little space here. Wait, wait, let me just do this. Let me just do this. Let me just do this release the bees These also these are like two-synor's crotch bees Yeah, I am in the crant space, but I shall throw up a wall of magical protection but trick stuff Yeah, try to get through that I shall throw up a wall of magical protection but trick stuff SCUMMEMBER! Yeah Damn try to get through that! Can't, can you? Yeah, no I can't I'll drink a Bournishine Oh it's melting, the wall is melting Okay, well uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh Fine fine the soul walker really enunciates his spells a lot more than you do a lot of different spells

I like a lot of them are just like a t-h sound It's like for us for us. We need to be talking about right now. I just feel like Sockers We always meet violence with violence. Maybe let's figure out what's going on Maybe we can talk this out you all eyes do Figure out what's going on. Maybe we can talk this out. You are wise. This is what we do. Ah, he can. Yeah, and I shouldn't know way to take the fact that the Soul Locker is really into this is a bad sign. You once served, Hawks' face, by order or permission of my master, the Dark Lord.

We are on the same side, all we know. And if we weren't, I would rip your head from your buddy right now. The only thing keeping me from doing that is the Dark Lord's command that you live. For now. That's right, our troops with the Dark Lord. It's keeping us safe from the slow-walker and onward. Well, then I see there is no reason for us to take arms and destroy one another in magical and physical battle. This melee need not take place, uh...

Well, come on in! Yeah, let's not suffer this little dangerous portion. Well, I'm just fortunate to come on in, you want some Pizzle? No, sure. No no no. Whoa. Where does that go? Hey, how do you fit that in there? Hey you got another one. Makes you think. I need no nuttishment to fool to get you to live. This gift of life after death is all we need. That's right. Reanimated corpse with like a lot of different souls in you.

There are seven souls within me now. Seven best buddies. Wow. Is there one of the souls that you're closer to than any of the others? I'd say we're all like a, you know, we're like a friendship, you know, just like a big, get-along gang. That's nice. It's nice to have a good friend.

I have a very good friend named Apparel Fuels. I, he's a bit of a trickster, but, the back of my robe is so itchy. Man, that's gonna pay off. It's gonna pay off. It's a good thing, right? It's easy bothering me. Sorry.

But seeing this new friendship, have you found some new piece in your life? Ah, I found seven pieces. A last part of my friendship saw. That's beautiful. And now, my heart has been made whole. And my joy shall go on without end, for I have found the best of friends.

Oh, that's nice. You know, I know where I gotta say. You always seem like someone else. I still hate you, honey. Okay, fair. That's fair. Well, you know what, even if you hate me, I'm glad to see that you found some sort of happiness for yourself,

because all your questing and all your feats, it just felt like you're just searching for something. Don't mock me with your references to happiness. I will have you, honey. I will have your head on a spike for all of Foon to see. Now Fortune has smiled upon us and allowed us to sit here in fellowship on this day. Should we not find a way to put these past grievances to rest to find yet? Perhaps in 8th

9th and 10th part of your friendship soul honor. Oh sacrifice yourselves. Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, I just meant that we could be friends with Arnor. That's all and you know eventually, you know once we Defeat the void and our true Suther Dark Lord comes to an end will destroy you Your humor is the light for you so no there is no destroying us Oh, I have done it once before and I shall do it again. I think technically I did it but Okay, fine. Well, I mean, we do. I mean, you told me how, but then I, I mean, I'm the one that did it. And yet, is your blow to your power?

Still, you sit here in this dirt house. Oh, that's a little rude. Just, well, well, it is a joke. It's a hovel. Listen, how about we do this, okay? You two are best friends, aren't you, and I are best friends? Why don't we have a best friend off to see who knows more about their best friend? And if we win, you guys leave us in peace, and if you guys win, then we'll fight.

Ha ha! What? Bet accepted. Wait, we gotta get something better than then just leaving us alone. Like, you gotta tell us a useful actionable thing that we could use against the dark Lord, some inside intel, or a point of weakness. I also have a best friend. You got a lot of best quasi best friends.

Oh, happiness. I just got it. Oh boy. Look, let's take a quick break. We'll down some pistols. We'll have a little bit of this ground water. Smash out the rules of this friendship competition. Just control the gag reflex.

It's like, oh, it's coming right down. We'll be right back. Okay, now is the time for the battle of the friendships. But did you guys get everything? Did you get a snack? You're going good. And I hope you're fine. I lit the fireplace just to make it a little more toasty. Cause it was getting a little bit cold in here.

Oh sure, even with all this buddy-y. Yeah. I think it's you, Soulwalker, like you radiate cold. Yes, I suck the life out of wherever I go. In my eye, of course, I mean... Wee-ow. Do you feel that people like don't like it when you come around? That's gotta be tough. What? It matters not to enjoy our presence. I enjoy it. That's gotta be tough. I enjoy it.

What is that? is in ascendance. We now run workshops with his minions so that they can learn to communicate better as a team. Who better to teach them than what new is many. Oh, so do you do these workshops together? No, I just coordinate the logistics. Get us there. Yes, there's a lot of stuff. Soak it occurs to me that while Arnold is referred to you as his best friend and you do call him but an intern. But perhaps this distance you create is to protect yourself from the emotions that would undo your very evil. Speak you emotions in you have died as all else has. There is a flame or spark of that which you call love or joy within us, only the desire

for power. Wherever there be life, I, in life as perverse as your own, there be an ember of hope and love and if that ember is fanned then it shall flame Into a gigantic bonfire of hope So Walker, I think you're so used to being dead inside you're afraid of being alive inside This is not about what's going on in me I was the thought we were having a friend off Do you notice when you get more emotional you speak in the first person and not in the royal we What are we doing here?

Are you alright best buddy? Do you need anything you want me to get you on me kick their butts? It is nice of you to ask It is nice of you to ask, but nay nay, I seek this challenge that you're from before us on the look of the camp. And if you do lose into ours, this you shall go as well. Okay, John, yeah. What are the rules of this friendship off? I think we can make them up in a moment. Oh, yeah.

But I figured it would be something of like, they ask us a question that we should know about each other. Oh, okay, sure. Like if they were like, Chant, what is Arnie's middle name? And I would have to answer that. Whoever scores the most points wins the friend. Oh, do you have a bunch of extra scrolls?

And maybe we can like write down our answers and like hold them up. Oh, yeah. Just to keep everybody honest. Yeah, yeah, let's do that. Let me grab some All right, great. Uh, how do we decide who goes first? I'm wrestling. Oh, okay. Are you going? Oh, okay? All right Okay, is your arm broken? I think my arm might be broken here. Let me hit it with this healing rock

All right, best two out of three Healing rock I can't believe I can't believe you won that one. We still have to do the third just to be sure Okay, one more smash Okay, one more smash All right, so you guys go first go first Very well ask and we will answer a soul walker name Three of our nor's feats. We are familiar with the feats Killing a Hungarian dino party killing the hesitant cyclops, killing the whaling wolf, rebuilding the bridges of gratax.

Oh, just three, you don't need to kill the body and bear. Three headed cur of nun, eating the flesh, eating buzzards of skirks. out the stables? Of course. Yes! And there are many more, including ripping apart Mount Onion to create the Straits of Gibberish, Ulter. Wow. Now, my friend Metamor, he was actually pretty upset with you for cleaning the stables because that's his regular job.

He does it every day and he doesn't get any credit for it. Well, he can pursue another passion now and find a best bud. Junt, I think this is gonna be harder than we thought. Like, I thought the Soulwalker would just totally fuck that up and not know anything about art. Or fine, you know me so well. I do know you well in a general sort of way, but I'm not a details guy. But you listen to me, when I talk you really digest it, I can tell.

Oh, shut. By the sheen in your eyes that you're really taking it all in. Speaking of taking it all in, let me grab a pizzle here. Ruh! Artern! Okay, yep. This question is for Arnie. You got it, buddy.

Okay, okay. Would Chunk defend you if I tried to rip off your head? Okay. Alright. I know, I should know this one. Okay. I know I should know this one. Okay. I got a 50-50 chance here. It's pretty generous with that question. Wait, wait, wait, I just just Get no help from me, Ony, Neekam! All right! Get no help from me, Ony, Neekam! But John is already a bit in his answer. Okay, great! The river god Poet Thomas got no help from me when I ripped off his horn! When he took the shape of a bull to fight me over the love of trickle-out, O'ottenive!

Ooh, that's a good name. This should be no problem. I mean, clearly you're paying attention when I was writing. You could tell if I wrote down two letters or three. So surely, you got this in the bank. Hyper referral vision isn't what should be, but hey, I'm gonna say, I think the answer is, yes, he's a good friend. Boom, baby. He said yes. Yeah, I hold tight up. Yeah, and also, you know, it's one of those like hypothetical friendship questions. Yeah, I'd never expect to see it.

Yeah. Is it all right if they both lie, but they still match? Well, that's a good question. I mean, there's no way you'd live to finger to help him if he was getting his head ripped off. That's not true. I think he would like, here, I think he would like to think he would. There's only one way to find out. Oh, me, I'm going to rip off your head!

He didn't budge. I better check, I'm going to rip off your head. He didn't budge. I better check. I got some stuff in the other. Just, just, just, just, that. Yeah, that's it. One to zero. Oh, give it a light. You'll see.

Okay. Okay. Um, all right. Um, okay. Here's a question for Arnor. The Soul Walker has seven souls inside of him. Can you name three of those souls? Of course I can. One of them is Aemon, the beekeeper of Finter. Another is Grispix. And a third is Lady Mirabelle.

Well, there's no way to verify that. Yeah, I guess, I guess only Saul Walker would know, and he's not telling something. I remember Chris Bix. Chris Bix sounds right. Yeah. Yes, that's right. Me, Chris Bix, first in genetics.

Oh, that's what we'll do. Let's, can we speak to Lady Maribel? Yes. Hello. Yeah, that tracks. Hmm, looking good, Aani. Can we speak to the B-Cubber? I just wanted to see what there was some sparks there.

What? So, what's the deal with this hive? Is Tussador using a regular apiary setup for that or I've got a type 5 I'm just curious at where these like carpenter bees honey bees use I'm cuz honestly keeping them in a hole prely not the best tactic for their crotch bees yeah oh oh gotcha gotcha gotcha hmm well you're gonna want to use like like damp confined spaces I think right yeah I'm an excellent pollinators. Stiff, ah!

He certainly knew a lot about bees. Yeah. Well, I think that brings us to to naught. Yeah. Okay. Oh, that is very painful. Okay, well, look, it's okay, John. We can catch up. Hey, just in case we made it,

we found a weakness for the solar. Oh, we did? Every time we asked to talk to one of his souls, he gets a headache. He said it was very painful. Ooh. Hey, Tish. Oh, we did? Every time we asked to talk to one of his souls, he gets a headache. He said it was very painful. Ooh! Hey, Titch. Yeah, I'm gonna...

Uh, can I write that down so I don't forget it? Yes. Let's get off of the two to nothing score. It evokes bad memories in me. Oh, that's right. You don't have testicles. NOOOO! Oh, he has them. The gifts of the dog Lord sometimes got him with a twist.

And though he does have the testes back, they alas grew minds of their own. Detach themselves from his body. Ripped from their native sack. What is? They know what to do. Arnie, you're one of Arnor's testicles? No.

Oh, wait. You're not talking about those musical testicles that are traveling around doing other shows are you? Those are my testicles. They're very talented. I saw them in a skirt recently. Really? Yeah, they were good.

Oh, thank you. I haven't seen them, but I've heard good things. Well, that's nice. I've heard that their shows are nuts. Everybody who goes to them has a ball. Well, it's on you. Okay, yeah, I'm ready. Speaking of music.

Trump, yes. If you were to start a band with Arnini Camp, what would be the name? I would be the name. Oh shit, we have to get... How we can... Oh boy. You didn't play City Confines on what these questions were.

True, okay, alright. The real best buds would talk about that kind of thing. We've talked so much about what we would do if we started a band. We've talked about what some of the song titles would be, what a lot of the album cover art would be. Yeah. I really never really talked about this. Well, I do know one thing.

I know that sometimes you're called Carnival Wilson. So I think of Carnival Wilson. And I'm always, when, you know, I'm around, I'm always filling up people's drinks. So maybe Wilson Phillips? Wilson Phillips? Well, my handwriting is really legible, but that is definitely what I wrote down. Yeah, two to one! I think I'm thinking of each of the names of Wilson Phillips.

I suppose this contest will have to hold on for just one more round. Look, don't worry, John, things are gonna go our way. Someday, I guess, are anyone asked the last question? Okay, all right. I have a question for Arnor. No, wait, I have a question for the Soul Walker. Soul Walker, what is one thing that always bugs you about Arnor?

Nothing, probably, probably nothing. Probably, hold on, let me write it down. Sorry, I said that out loud. Hold on a minute, I'm proud of that. Well, we feel that I just to say, think that at times there is an intimacy that moves past the boundary that would be appropriate for employer and intern into a breach of

that protocol and perhaps gets a little too close in a way we find uncomfortable. How do you get me... FUCKING about this! It's alright, Pest Buddy. You can say it. I'm listening! You listen better than anyone.

You listen to us. When it's hard to listen to us always. I understand. Even the Dark One reflects no light. If I was everything would you listen and give it? Unburden yourself. A best friend helps bear the load. All the things we did not have in life.

We have found in our journeys with you. And it makes us feel... ...dirly safe. Alive? I know that there is pain. But if you hold on for one more day, you'll break free, break free from those chains. Someday, somebody's gonna turn around and say goodbye. Until then, baby, don't let them hold you down and make you cry.

Sunday, you would go away leaving us alone. I, I, I, feeling I can't, the spell is broken. Here is... BROKING! Oh, oh I'm just curious, do you have like an interior garden or what sort of plants you deal with? Naperennials, seasonals? We don't have room for seven people in here. Well, this house just turned into a fuller house, just like that. It's a really tight squeeze.

Oh, lady Maribel, this is Arnold Necomb. Well, well, well. Hey, I'm married. Hmm, never stopped me before. Oh, lady Maribel, this is Arnold Necom. Well, well, well. Hey, I'm married. Hmm, never stopped me before. Oh, lady Maribel. Oh, now we can have book clubs and do escape rooms. This is going to be the best. How will you escape this room?

I don't know. Who won the contest? I think pretty clearly stated. Best friends. Best friends. They say that's best friends. Best friends. They're so happy that the so-walkers free that they forgotten that they asked you

to pay some terrible price for losing the contest. Oh, that's right. Hey guys, congratulations on your best friendship. You know what? You should go camping or something together. Ooh, yeah. What a great idea best friends! That sounds like a pretty sweet group activity.

In fact, I mean, it is springtime. We could probably see some great action out there in the hillsides. Be action, I mean. Be action. Yeah, let's do it. Out of the way from the eyes of man and beast, where Chris Vicks v. Centetrist can practice his favorite art.

Perversion. That's right, that's canonical, but I am. That's like, Krispik's what's a perfect. That's right, I'd like the Rimhorn. Oh, we should. It's the instrument that requires the Titus Dom, but sure of any instrument in food. Yes.

Got to have a lot of the questions about Krispik's perversion. Ooh, they're innumerable. Don't get me started. Krispik's pizzle. Mm. Don't mind if I do. Ugh. Whoa! It's not like an accordion unfolding.

We'll best friends we've got smores to make. Off we go. Win for the road. And here's my address, honey. If you ever want to come around. Okay, this just says North. That's right, I died a long time ago. All right. Goodbye, Arnold. Goodbye. Goodbye, Crisp North. That's right. I died a long time ago.

Goodbye, Arnold. Goodbye. Goodbye, Chris Bix. Goodbye, Aiman. Bye, guys. Goodbye, everyone else. Hey, how's it nice to meet all of you, especially the ones that didn't talk? Hey, what's up? Well, bye. Kind of weird at this point. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, but some other time. Wow, I can't believe that we got through that. And you know what? I thought that the power of our friendship, Chant was what was gonna win the day, but... Wow, I can't believe that we got through that. And you know what, I thought that the power of our friendship Chunt was what was gonna win the day, but I'll take it if the power of their friendship is what saved us.

Yeah, yeah, it's good. We've done a great boon to all of food. Yeah, let me just take the papers you were writing on, writing all your answers on. Sure, it's gonna take those and put those in my cabinet. Yeah. The gate is a little... A little what? A little what? Say it.

It's a little odd. Really? Yeah. Okay. You kind of look a horror. Because I keep little trinkets from our adventures together. Yeah. Ordnone adventures.

I mean, it's nice. Yeah, I put this swab in your mouth. Thank you. little trinkets from our adventures together. Yeah. Ordnone adventures? I mean, it's nice. Here, put this swab in your mouth. Ah, ah, ah. Thank you. Woof. We just need 22 more of those. And we'll be able to tell you about your genealogy.

Yeah. Guys, I love you, too, very much, but what? I guess I'm just... No, I love you, too, very much. I like your my best buds, but now I guess I'm just no I love you too very much like you're my best buds but now I'm feeling real jealous of what Arnor and those seven former soul walker bodies have in common and you feel like the way to combat that jealousy is to tell me I'm a fucking hoarder that's what friends do call each other out on shit.

Yeah, they let each other know what they're weird annoying habits are. I'm glad you're staying with me. This is really helpful. Yeah, let us table this discussion of the cabinet for some time. In this new found fellowship of love and friendship, let us go forth. Enjoy the R and the seven former souls of the Soul Walker as they cap out all night! Let us go camping! Let's go camping! I don't like being outside. You're so good. We can stay in my hat.

What do you like? Help us help you. Help me help you. I like doing this podcast. Good. Oh, you know what? I also like when people sign up for Stitcher Premium to listen to offices and bosses our spin-off campaign And you know what I know I talked a lot of shit about doing up playing offices and bosses But I really grew to enjoy playing that game. Oh, I love you buddy. I love you too. You're a good friend You're a good friend. You're a best friend. You're a best friend and you said or I like you a lot. Thanks You're a good friend. You're a best friend. You're a best friend and you said or I like you a lot. Thanks Earlier you said you love us both. I love you guys, but when you talk to you so are you just say you like him?

You said or I love you Hi, I Love you too, Autumn. Oh, I love you, Chuck. I love you buddy And I'm sorry. I called this a shit hole earlier. No, earlier. No you're right it is a well you called it a dirt hole. Oh I was thinking shithole. Oh no baby. And listeners I love you to go to Stitcher Premium.com slash magic and use promo code magic. Oh I found my shoe hard. For a free month I'll stitch a premium.

So you can listen to... It's... ...Seasons 1 and 2 of offices and bosses. Yeah. Hmm. It's segues like that. It would turn me off. Whoa, get a mirror bell.

Hey, mirror bell, get out. She just popped up from behind that couch. I'd ever left. Oh, no. Wow, okay, am I the only one who teared up at the end of that? I mean, that is really beautiful. The power of friendship is just a really wonderful thing. And now I'm sitting of sitting here wondering, like, why did you flush 50% of the people

that you could possibly become friends with out into space? I mean, technically I didn't do it, Craig did it, but like I was on board and it's just like now Craig is like my only option to have a real friend here and he just seems different. Um, okay, but let me just do this part because it's important. You should or the wizard was played by Matt Young and Chant the Badger was played by Adel

Raffaix. Arnor the warrior was played by special guest Blaine Swen, the founder of the Improvized Shakespeare Company. Find out when they're coming to your town at improvizedshakespear.com. For instance, they're coming to play the 92nd Street Y in New York City on June 16th. Be there or be square. You know who else is in the Improvized Shakespeare Company?

Ross Bryant, who played the soul walker, you can check out Ross's amazing cartoons on his Instagram, which is at Ross BB. That's two B's. Not like Bumblebees, just the letter B. Ross BB. What is that noise? Is that Craig? Craig? Craig, is that you? God, Craig just seems differently. Not really sure what to do about it. Anyway, hello from the Magic Tavern is produced by Arnie Neacamp, Ryan DeGeorgie, and Evan Jackover.

This week's episode was edited by Chris Rathjen. I will continue to monitor the Trisha and relay updates. Craig? Craig, who are you talking to? What? It's just me here, and you're not really talking to me, so what are you doing? Oh, I'm just talking to myself. It's just something I like to do while I work on projects.

Okay, that's not weird at all. Guys, I don't know if I trust Craig anymore. It's almost like ever since I laser-sawed his brain open, he's been acting weird. It's not just me, right? All right, I'm gonna sneak over there and see if I can spy on him. Hopefully, I'll talk sneak over there and see if I can spy on him.

Hopefully, I'll talk to you guys again soon. Hey, hey, hey, this is Arnie. I'm not a robot. I just thought I'd throw that out there. You know lately I've been hiding from everyone else in the space bunker because Craig really creeps me out. Something is wrong with that dude. But I wanted to quick poke my head in here to remind you that office and bosses season

2 is on stitur premium. All of season 1. All all of season 2. Season 2 has awesome guests like Clacks the Skeleton, Claudia the Witch, Chess the Mimic, Momo the Mouse, some Vampires, the Blue Tigers drip-fang the necromancer, and more. Oh, and that more includes a lot of cameos from folks from RPG podcasts that we like. Folks from Drunks and Dragons, acquisitions incorporated the C-Team Critical Role, and NerdPoker. And there's not even counting all the cool stuff in season one.

You can get a free month of Stitcher Premium by going to Stitcher Premium.com slash magic and using promo code magic. Just try it right out. But definitely do it at Stitcher Premium.com slash magic and use promo code magic. The more people that listen, the more likely it is, they'll be a season three. And since I'm already talking too long

about Office and Boss' stuff, check out the really awesome Office and Boss' T-shirts at podswag.com. All right, that's it for me. Ba da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da