Hello From The Magic Tavern - Season 4, Ep 1 - A New Age (w/ Jessica McKenna)
Episode Date: October 18, 2021A new era of peace dawns in Foon, but maybe that’s not entirely true. More importantly we talk to a wind sprite that loves to hear wishes.CreditsArnie: Arnie NiekampChunt: Adal RifaiUsidore...: Matt YoungWizla the Wind Sprite of the Wishing Well: Jess McKennaMysterious Man: Tim SniffenProducers: Arnie Niekamp, Matt Young, and Adal RifaiPost-Production Coordination: Garrett SchultzEditor: Stephen DrangerSpecial Assistance: Ryan DiGiorgiMagic Tavern Logo: Allard LabanTheme Music: Andy PolandYou can support the show directly and receive bonus episodes and rewards by joining our Patreon at https://www.patreon.com/magictavern for only $5 per month. Follow us on Twitter and Instagram, and now Patreon!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Greetings new listeners! The podcast you were about to experience is not real.
I mention the new listeners because I've learned the only way to impress the old listeners
is by withholding my affection.
Hey, if nagging is your kink, I'm here for it.
And regardless of if you're an exciting new listener, or a listener that's old and boring
and no longer of interest to me, this recording is not to be taken as evidence of the existence of other worlds
No one's going to pierce the thin veil of your cozy reality
Certainly not me and who am I?
I'm the owner of a magnificent mysterious candy factory that once a year allows five children to okay
That's a lie. It doesn't matter who I am. I'm like the force.
The more you explain it, the more you're like,
I miss when I didn't understand this quite so much.
Now, sit back and enjoy the show. to Xavier of food
Yes, well I splendid thank you. Thank you
Oh, it was no time for that right now? But it wasn't dangerous, my friend.
And I knew I had, but a second strike.
That very moment shows in time.
I'm so sad.
I'm so sorry, Ella.
You said that.
We were supposed to report the podcast.
He ever had it.
I know you're celebrating you, Cedore.
I everyone, everyone.
This is my good friend, Arnold.
He helped me defeat the dark Lord. I was there
Round of applause for Arnold
Had from a cheap and in the moment I struck him through the hot and now he's definitely dead forever
Mm-hmm no ambiguity there. Hey, I got everybody.
Would you mind if I just steal Yusador for a moment?
We got some important stuff to do.
Yes, yes, everyone, excuse me for a moment.
I, I shall be right back.
I have a, I have a commitment which I shant miss.
But I shall be back here soon to regale you all with tales
of my wonderful success.
And my impending ascension to the...
Yusador, I'm already recording.
I'm like, don't make me...
I'll be right back.
I'll be right back.
All right, buddy.
I think Yusador is getting way to Yusador's whizz-peas.
And all these whizz-peas just gathering around him
and he's sort of holding court with all these whizz-peas.
What's the whizz-peas? Wh of holding court with all these whizpies. What's a whizpie?
Whizpies are groupies for wizards.
They basically, you know, they follow wizards on tour and they try and get, you know, backstage
and like meet the wizards and like, fahn over them.
So it's just kind of weird.
It's just like a weird...
I thought you meant that weird dribbling that's happening under his robe.
Oh no, that's...
Are you talking about whizpies?
Well, already talking about, uh, pin-ile leakage.
But I was talking about whizpies. I was so disappointed to find out they weren about whizpies. Well, already talking about a penile leakage. But I was talking about whizpies.
I was so disappointed to find out they weren't whizpies.
Just because I love it, I just love a delicious pie.
A fresh baked pie, especially for whizpies.
Yeah, that's a wonderful tummy.
No, whizpies can be fun.
So what you're saying is there's no wizard-specific term
for penile leakage.
Uh, no.
I guess penis the digitation.
But guys, let's not we're wasting it.
Let's start.
Oh, here, I picked out this table for us.
This is going to be our new table for the new season of hot cans.
Oh, well, let's take a look here.
Okay.
Seven feet tall.
All right. Let. Seven feet tall. All right, looks like it's dirty oak.
Okay, very ornate legs. A lot of feed. Everybody get your chair ladders.
Okay, we can just scamp her up here. Ooh, I like the feel of the ladder.
Pretty good. I can really see the room from up here. I know it's very small. I could see it anyway, but I'll just float.
Here I go.
Those wastepies. You used to throw your pissing the floor from way high up. So sorry. So sorry. Okay anyway. And you used to throw here's your root beer? Oh thank you.
So it's now a you know you can say it if you want. Wizard root beer? Yep that's it. That's what I was
going for. A floating wizard drinking root beer is going for Wizard root beer.
Mm-hmm.
Hey, I'm gonna be right back, I have a wall to punch.
Junt, we gotta start the podcast.
This has been going on a couple of days.
Fine, I'll stay.
Okay.
Mm-mm-mm.
Hello from the Magic Tavern.
A weekly podcast from the magical land of fune.
I'm your host, Arnie Neacamp.
If you've never listened to the podcast before,
hey, welcome.
What a great time to jump onto the podcast.
There's actually very little that you need to know,
except for maybe this about six and a half years ago,
I fell through a dimensional portal
behind a Burger King and Chicago
into the magical, fantastical land of Foon.
Luckily, I'm still getting a Wi-Fi signal
from the Burger King through the dimensional rift, and I use that to upload this podcast, you know, formerly chronicling our quest
to defeat the Dark Lord, but we did it!
We did it!
We killed the Dark Lord!
There's no ambiguity about that.
We're certainly not keeping him captive in the basement, as a secret that nobody knows
about, and I am joined, as as always by my co-host,
Chant the Talking Banger.
Oh yeah, baby.
Does that your new season four catchphrase?
Arnie, buddy, I'm just trying something different.
You know, you start off, you say,
hello for the magic tavern. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, do, do, do. You know, it just seems so worn in. So, you know, that's fine.
Hey, if you went around running sweatpants all day,
vocally, that's cool.
But I'm trying to get my voice to be like a brand new pair of slacks.
You know, one leg is shorts, the other one's full on pants.
Who knows what's going on?
Who knows what will happen?
It's season four, baby.
Can we talk a little bit more about the introduction to,
are you still, say, you know, from the Vilion Minotaur in the towns of Hogsface
here in the Land of Food,
and now you should mention that we're now recording
from the strange familiar, a new brand new tavern
in the town of Nibblebottom.
And Arnie, I just wanna apologize.
It's still in Land of Food.
When I said moments ago that you are basically
vocal sweatpants, I just wanna apologize for that.
I think sweatpants are comfy.
I think you're familiar.
I think people like sweatpants, so.
Yeah.
Keep doing what you're doing, and I'm sorry.
I didn't even clock that it was supposed to be an insult.
I love sweatpants.
Oh, good.
Also, it's well-established.
My breath tastes a little bit like sweat.
Interesting.
I've never heard somebody say their breath tastes like blank.
We'll have to unpack that later,
but I'm looking forward to that.
Oh, but thank you, you sir.
Yeah, we have settled into this very quaint little village
of nibble bottom.
A hamlet.
You could call it a hamlet.
A hamlet?
Yeah, what is, I guess I wouldn't even know what classifies
as a hamlet.
Oh, a last poor Arnie.
Well, you knew the well.
You don't know what a hamlet is. Interesting. Yeah, it's like to diversify as a hamlet. Oh, a last poor Arnie. Well, I knew thee well.
You don't know what a hamlet is.
Interesting.
Yeah, it's more than a campsite.
It's less than a village.
Also, things are a little bit different here.
The roses are grass and the guilds are stern.
You know, if you want to join a guild,
it's a very stern process.
What else?
What have you noticed that about this place?
The roses are grass and the guilds are stern turn. So I guess I should start saying,
uploading this podcast recorded here
in the strange familiar in the town of Neville bottom
at the base of the unnameable mountain
in the magical end of the food.
It rolls off the tongue.
It'll just, look, listeners,
give me 20 to 40 episodes and I'll have it down.
Yeah, I think 20 or 40 is probably a good number to get you out on a good groove.
I'm also joined by my other co-host, Yusin or the Wizard.
I am Yusin, a Wizard of the 12th realm of Ephesius, master of light and shadow,
manipulator of magical lights, devour of chaos, champion of the great halls of Trakis,
known to the elves as Fiengelak, known to the dwarves as Zonen in hook stenges, and known in the northeasters guess winnius mace star, and now known from this day and forevermore as slayer of the dark lord.
And he's dead, is not like a thing where he hopped into another body and he captured that body and we keep it trapped in the basement.
Yeah, why would we allow something like that? Yeah, and yes, yes, I'm renting out a room at this tavern, but and I am also renting
out the basement, but we're not keeping anything in the basement. We just, no, of course not.
We just love basements. We love basements. We love to rehab them. We love to finish them.
To a great place, let the kids go hang out, just do what they want.
If it starts to rain in the middle of the night, we'll have to wake up and be like,
oh shit, the basement. I gotta check the basement. There might be flooding in my basement.
Why did I fucking get a place with a basement? I thought it would bring me joy,
but it's quite the opposite.
Do you need to talk about this? Sounds like it's gonna happen.
I don't want to talk about earth stuff. Okay, but let's talk a little bit about.
We've been in Nibbleble bottom a couple of weeks now.
What have you guys been doing?
Like what have you guys noticed about the community here?
Well, a few things.
I was staying in Mark's Den, you know,
since I'm a badger, I was staying in Mark's Den,
but the state of that den is so gross.
Something started to stink so bad in Mark's Den
that I had to leave.
So I'm now staying here at the at the bars,
well, at the strange familiar.
Also, Ernie, you know this, you said,
or you know this, but for anyone who doesn't,
in nibble bottom, I have opened up my own
black and white Smith shop.
Oh yes, wonderful work you're doing now too.
I couldn't be proud of you.
Thank you so much.
So sorry, I've been so busy, I haven't been following.
What's a black and white Smith
shop.
Well it's like a blacksmith shop but I'm a badger typically so my fur is black and white.
So all the armor all the weaponry that I make reflects my fur and it's a sort of black
and white pattern.
It's like those cookies you mentioned you say sometimes in earth you get those cookies.
Uh huh.
Hydrox.
That's it. Now you said, what have you been up to?
Besides telling the story of your defeat of the Dark Lord
over and over again.
Well, since I've very definitely defeated the Dark Lord
and my true purpose has been achieved,
I'm obviously very soon going to return
to the realms of Ephesius.
So I'm just wrapping up some loose ends.
What?
You know, wrapping up some loose ends
before I shuffle off into another realm of existence
and no longer live here in Foon because I definitely killed the Dark Lord and that's...
Oh.
Arnie, how many times does he have to say it?
He's wrapping with the local group loose ends.
You know that rap group?
You said you want to...
Yeah, of course.
Well, I was going to say take one of these black and white shields i made you
oh oh thank you this is very beautiful
mm-hmm
i am yusador and i'm never yield
i've got truncical shield
what are you doing? for new listeners please
stay with us
it's not always like that
that's just four seconds
that's not gonna happen again
for another 40 or 50 episodes.
Something I wanted to circle back to as Arnold, you said you were busy.
You know what? Now that we are trying to sort of become pillars of the community of nibble bottom,
I decide I'm gonna be more proactive this season. I'm gonna get involved.
I'm gonna take up a trade.
Oh, very commendable. What trade are you looking at?
I've been applying to be an apprentice
for the local Cooper.
Typically a job that doesn't require any application.
So I'll hear back soon whether he needs any Cooper and done.
I've also been spending a lot of time trying to figure out
what a Cooper does.
But what drew you to it?
The name Cooper, right?
A lot of the other stuff has a lot of baggage.
All the fantasy world jobs sound really hard,
but Cooper, it's got a nice sound to it.
And since I don't know what it is,
I'm not discouraged from doing it.
Ah, well I could tell you what it is right now.
Mm, how let it be a surprise.
Let him learn on his own.
The best way to learn anything, like,
Coopering is to hang with Coopering.
If I were to take a stab at it,
my guess would be covering,
it's like, alchemy, you're covering stuff in metal,
you know, cover stuff in Cooper,
like coins, like Cooper coins.
That's not it.
Huh?
Nope.
No, it's not it.
It's a thing, it's definitely a real thing.
I know exactly what it is.
I can tell you what it is right now. If you want to know. No, no, no, my guess is It's a thing. It's definitely a real thing. I know exactly what it is I can tell you what it is right now on if you want to know no no my guess is it's making hats. Oh, that's a great guess
Chant you got another guess because that's also wrong
Coopering Coopering can I have the language of origin?
Phoenish Phoenish, okay
Psh can you use it in a sentence please? Ah, yes. I went to the Cooper.
He put a new strap on my barrel.
Uh, I can't mean nothing here.
I'm gonna say...
None of those words seem like they would have anything
to do with being a Cooper.
Oh, maybe it's someone who just loves Cooperation.
Like loves, you know, cooperating with people.
Ooh, ooh, I've got one.
Is it mean like I'm an investigator who comes to a small town
and I try to solve mysteries using dream lunch?
Ooh, that's a lot of people.
That's a small town to be worth.
Yeah.
Yes, anyway, you've established it is a very small town.
Just a little hamlet.
One of the saddest things about this little ham
and I think is the high ratio of sex workers.
I wanna be sex positive here, but.
But they keep getting ratioed? Yeah, the whole ratio is very high.
Okay. What's this now?
A last whole ratio?
Oh!
Oh!
Now I don't want to edit this out.
Anyway, guys, I'm just so jazzed about learning more about the small village of Neville
Bottom. Should we talk to our first guest? And by first guest, I mean our only guest for this episode. I think this is so jazzed about learning more about the small village of Neville bottom.
Should we talk to our first guest?
And by first guest, I mean our only guest for this episode.
Oh, such an awesome.
Absolutely.
Yeah, let's, I mean, we'll have to help them up onto this chair here, I assume.
Oh, I think they're a little bit magical.
I can float.
I can fly.
Yeah, please.
Do you remember the song?
Please, please.
Uh, sorry, I'm sorry.
Should I be here now? I can float back. No, no, no,? Float right up. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Should I be here now?
I can float back.
No, no, no. This is perfect.
Okay.
She keeps in here now.
Definitely, maybe.
Yes, you should.
Here you go.
Oh, wow.
Wow.
Hello.
Hi.
Hi.
Hi, hi.
Great table choice.
This table is always so hard to get because it's such a good view.
Nice job, Marty. Oh, well, you know, paid for it. Oh you paid for it. Oh cool, cool. I was gonna say you
must have made quite an impression on the host. Well it's a pleasure to meet you. I'm
you, sir, or the wizard. I'm sure you've heard of me. Oh yeah, yeah, congrats on that thing you did.
We're who? Everybody's really stoked about it and really excited.
Oh, and thank you.
Thank you.
I am also stoked.
Yeah, it seems cool.
Seems like a chill hang.
Oh, and since you're floating, I got you a root beer.
And based on your accent, I made sure it was a miniature
poor, so it's a nice mini soda there.
Oh, cool.
Just a floating mini soda.
Yeah, I'm sorry. He's just obsessed with these root beers lately.
I don't know what's going on with him.
I mean, I get it, a root beer float is a delicious treat, but a delicious mini soda float,
even better.
You guys doing great, you're going to be a hits and nimble bottom.
Oh, thank you, that's huge.
And can I just say, I'm sorry to hear, you must know this, but everyone I've talked to in this
hand, they said that the hamlet's dad died?
I didn't know towns had dads.
We do, yeah.
If you're a hamlet at the base of the unnamed mountain,
you have a town daddy or a town mommy,
depending on which side of the sun rise you're on,
and our town daddy did die.
We think, I mean, we think.
Well now I want to shirt this as town daddy.
Fuck, according, can we make that happen?
Well, here's the thing.
Do you want to shirt this as town daddy
that is referring to a town that is a daddy
or that you're the daddy of the town?
Oh, do you want to run for town daddy?
That could be really huge,
because a lot of people are like not wanting to take it on
because the last town daddy, he was just like so sweet
and he was sort of a legend around here
And so like us locals feel like well now I can't be town daddy, but it might be great like outsourced town daddy
I would love that so run for town daddy. Is that like a marathon to raise money for the town daddy?
I don't know. It's like a democratic process. It's an elect. Oh, oh, I would anything. I would love to do this
Shant this is perfect for you because The town daddy's brother has been trying to be the town daddy and that seems not cool.
No thanks, I love this for me.
That's why we were like, we should leave town daddy vacant for like a couple of weeks, but town daddy's brother was like,
or it could be me in the interim, but then the interim goes on forever and we were all like, we see right through you my friend. Can I ask a friend who just helped me on my political career path?
What is your name? I don't think I heard.
You know what I just float right up here, started drinking minisota's.
My name is Whisla, I'm the wind sprite of the wishing well and yeah I live in Nebo bottom.
This is my favorite bar and my favorite color is your truth.
Oh, wonderful. You're talking about the wishing well that's in the center of the town square.
Yes, so people can go there for their washing and their welling. And I just sort of like to keep
it open that maybe for their wishing. That's amazing. Can I tell you what was your name again?
Wisla, the wind's bright of the wishing well.
Wisla, you could just call me Wisla.
Wisla, can I tell you, it's so funny that your favorite color is short truths
because Arnie and I actually have a short truce.
If either of us ever does it, we have a truce to never talk about it.
Because I can't tell you how often it happens.
So we had to come up with a short truce. Yeah, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, so nice, because you don't want to let that stuff fester, and then forget about
it, and then step into an ocean, and all of a sudden you're in the middle of a feeding
frenzy.
No thanks, sharks can be chums.
They don't just eat it, they can be it.
Mm-hmm.
That should be your slogan when you run for town daddy.
I don't just eat it, I could be it.
That's a hell of a shud.
Town daddy, don't just be it, I could be it. That's a hell of a shirt. It's a town daddy. Don't just be it, you can eat it.
Well, I think if it says town daddy,
but it's people are gonna assume that,
oh, never mind.
Whizla, can I ask, so you're the wind sprite
of the wishing well.
What is that constitute?
What are your daily duties as a wind sprite
of the wishing well?
So I'm a wind sprite.
That's just sort of like me giving you, that's what I am. I am a wind sprite. And just sort of like me giving you that's what I am.
I am. You are a wind sprite and I gave you root beer. I feel like a fucking fool. No it's okay.
Like honestly I don't want you to assume or like yeah on the nose or anything. I love a little
mini root beer. That's okay. I'm okay. Good good good good. It's also a problem that we're seven
feet up. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, again like I welcome welcome all kind all kinds, you know, also
Sean get all this cocoa off the table. Yes, please do get this cocoa
table. Sorry, sorry.
That's not my vibe. Yes, so the wishing well is just your rolling
town to stand by the well, make sure people can get their water, make sure
they can do their washing in the basins nearby. And then for me, I've
sort of taken the post and made it my own to
incorporate that they can also share with me their wishes.
Oh, wow.
That's lovely.
That's true because now that I think about it, a lot of people in the town have
referred to that well as the washing well.
Yeah, just the well.
Yeah, the wishy, that's me.
I'm putting that spin on it and I'm hoping it catches on.
Yeah, I heard, I've heard a few kids call it confessional. Yeah, that's been on it and I'm hoping it catches on. Yeah, I've heard a few kids call it confessional.
Yeah, that's cool.
Those are the kids in the loose ends.
We've really had some great sort of sessions over there.
Yeah, they like to kind of tell me
what's going on in their lives and I've told them,
you gotta put this into some lyrics
because this is your truth
and my wish is to hear that song.
So yeah, I feel like every kid I've met from loose ends,
they're so polite, they always start by saying,
my name is, and then they also say,
and I'm here to, so it's like right away,
I know who they are, I know what they about,
you know, it's just very considerate
to start with that kind of speech, you know.
Right, my name's Philip, and I'm here to say,
I'm working on my boundaries in a regular way.
Yeah, that's the kind of stuff that you can expect
from the kids of the loose ends.
Yeah, for sure.
For sure.
Well, that's wonderful work affecting the young minds
of tomorrow and talking to teens, which is terrifying.
And then, of course, you know, just helping people
make their dreams come true.
I am so impressed by what you've managed managed to you've taken what another person a lesser sprite could have done is
Stand there like a sprite zero like a sprite zero. We just stand by there. Why the well doing nothing?
You've made it into something. Yeah, I'm more of like a sprite remix on that job there
I'm making it more like okay, what if this job had a little something extra to it?
You know, like I'm walking along and all of a sudden there's like orange, you know, just in like an
emotional sense, but yeah, emotional orange. Emotional orange. Like vocal sweatpants. Oh yeah. You know,
wishing is for me just a matter of like speaking once you can hear it out loud you know there's some I everybody's always like oh I blew out the candles and through
the penny I can't tell you my wish because it won't come true and I say nay
nay if you never say then no wish today hmm you have been hanging around the
loosens I have I have those teens are fun and speaking of fun wouldn't it be fun
Arnie used to know if we took a quick break?
Yeah, how quick?
Pretty quick.
I don't fucking know, like 10 minutes?
10 minutes.
I don't know.
It'll be less than that.
I'm panicking.
Vote for me for town, daddy.
Listener, everything's new in season four.
How long will this break be?
Enjoy all the ads.
Is it long enough for me to feed my meter?
Yeah, go for it.
All right, we're back, so...
Yes, yes, thank you. Thank you.
I'll be down for the end a little later, and I'll tell you more stories of how I defeat the Dark Lord.
One sin for all! Thank you so much.
Thank you for stopping by.
Leave us alone! There are only some... Hey! Hey! he's already told the story. He doesn't have stories plural
That's really how I have a true so the show I love that story
Also, I like how you're really owning this like success used to door because you know a lot of people
They work so hard to have a breakthrough and have a success and then they don't even enjoy it. They're already thinking about the next dark lord, they're already
thinking about the next quest, you know, like you really have to live in this present
moment, which is the maybe you'll never have whizbees again.
What did they do?
Whizbees whiz pies. Oh, I thought I was going to be pie.
I did too. I thought the same thing.
Yeah. I thought I was gonna be pie. I did too, I thought the same thing.
Yeah.
Wait, I thought you said whizz bees.
Like wizard bees?
Whizz bees.
Am I crazy?
Whizz bees.
Whizz bees.
But whizzler's saying whizz bees, right?
Am I crazy?
Wizard bees?
Let's go around the table.
Let's go around the table.
Let's go around the table.
And just figure out which one of us is crazy.
All right?
Let's start with chon.
Are you crazy?
I don't think so.
Okay.
Onnie?
No.
I'm the same as person in the whole world.
Wisla, the windspread of the wishing well?
You know, a person who thought they were crazy, they probably would not be able to leave
the military, you know?
Good point.
Add myself, um, a little, but I'm handling it.
Right.
Okay.
Yeah, after all these years, of course you are.
It's kind of your brand. Oh, you should have, I didn't even think about it.
Whizzle brings up such a great point,
which is, you know, relicious moments,
save for it, living it, but also,
you're probably gonna get a Whizzler Choice Award this year.
Oh, wow.
Oh, wow.
Well, wow.
I dare not think that, uh,
or assume that such a nomination is coming my way.
I'd be happy just to be nominated, honestly.
I would.
Would you say that's a wish?
Would you say you're, uh, kind of wishing for an old Nami?
Now, this is an interesting question before I answer your question.
Are you able to manage wishes away from the well?
Oh, and again, I yield no power to make them come true.
I just sort of love being a sounding board
for you to understand your own desires.
Yeah, well, I would say that winning a Wizards Choice Award
is a wish of mine, yes.
Can I say something you said, or?
My only advice, and this comes from someone
who's not a wizard admittedly, my only advice
is don't do anything else this year, okay?
If you see someone drowning in a lake,
don't save them.
If there's some fucking statue that needs to be turned back
into a baby or something, don't help.
Why?
Because the worst thing you can do.
Not even that one?
No, the worst thing you can do.
The worst thing you can do.
Arnie, you have to be smart.
The worst thing you can do is be nominated against yourself.
Okay, I'm so sorry.
I'm sorry, I don't wanna get distracted on this.
That statue of a baby in the middle of the village,
is that a baby that was turned into a statue?
Yes, duh.
And there's currently somebody drowning in the pond.
Arnie, keep up.
Right now, if you do two amazing things,
you're gonna split your own votes,
and then whoever else is in the category
is going to take it away from you, Yusudor.
Okay, all right, all right, I'll keep that in mind.
Ahni, a danceier question a little further.
I'd say that 60, 70% of statues
are just people have been turned to stone.
Yeah, they might have seen like snake hair
or they might have been trolls the whole time
or they might have like been in a sandstorm.
We have really wicked sandstorms
that come off of the Unimble Mountain
and they will just sort of like suck out all the air and water in your body and replace them with sand.
Oh, the rude. How rude.
And some of them get this just turned around. How fucked up is that?
Yeah, some people just turned around and now they're statues.
So...
Did they turn around a lot?
Well, every now and then they fall apart.
Wh-Whisla. Now that you've established yourself as the overseer of the
Wishing Wheel, have you thought about franchising it all? Oh, that's a
cool thought. You know, I've never really left this hamlet except for one time
that I tried to go a little bit up further the mountain, but it was just like
a meaty like, oh this was a mistake I didn't train. Not good at adapting to altitude,
which is surprising, because I remember wind sprite.
But I think it's just sort of like when there's not enough air
for me to be wind as the air things out,
I also feel like toothed in in my head.
But you know, I think there's like conditioners
in champions for thin air.
Yeah, you know like a thickening agent
or just like a palm aid or something.
Yeah.
What if you
guys ever have plans to go up the mountain just make sure you pack some because
it's that air gets real thin faster than you think I've heard that the mountain
is dangerous oh yeah like there's all kinds of chaotic magic up there oh yes old
magic in these mountains oh yes you bro Primordial terrifying. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, like goo that knows no names.
You know, it's-
Goo that knows names.
Well yeah.
Isn't that all goo?
How much goo of you encounter that knows names?
On, I'll think about it.
And then if you go up a mountain with old magic
and there's a lot of goo, goo that knows no names.
Pretty clear.
You know when nibble bottom was founded,
the original town daddy, he dug that
moat to keep the goo that knows no names at bay. So that's sort of where the
role of town daddy came into play. It's different than that of the city council,
which handles more just bureaucratic everyday matters. And it's different that we
don't really have a mayor within that they rotate within the council.
Nice.
So what does the town Zaddy do?
Town Zaddy just looks good, baby.
Well, wait, do I want town daddy or town Zaddy?
I think Daddy, I think Daddy.
Well, Chan, here's what I got to ask you.
Are you pulling off?
Are you pulling off?
That's a good point.
That's a good point.
If I could somehow write Juicy on the back of Arnie's vocal sweatpants, then I think I might be pulling it off.
That's Zaddy territory.
Well, if you've lived in nibble bottom all your life,
you must know much of the lore.
One of the things I've heard since we've come here
for the last few weeks is that of the three peaks
up the mountains that one of the peaks
is rumoured to actually be the tail of a dragon who's in a deep, deep slumber. Have you ever heard that rumour?
Yeah, so on the other side of the mountain where they're in the sun rise instead of the sunset like us and they have a town mommy.
Town mommy's yeah.
Yeah, they have town mommy on that side, so that town mommy apparently, when she established the other, the inverse of this hamlet, she put that dragon into a ceaseless lumber
But some other people think that the goo that knows no name is just dragon excrement when we play them in sports
That's the big joke is they're like our town mommy saved us and your ton daddy just saved you from his poop
You know, it they have a chant, but it's all a good fun.
We're sort of sister cities.
The rivalry is playful.
Well, that's good.
What sort of sports do you enjoy here?
Do you get to play mittens a lot?
Or do you have other things that you enjoy playing?
Newton says it's not really taken off here in the same way.
I mean, there's some like, intermirum mittens,
but we don't play too much mittens.
It's a lot of, well, it's a lot of just long distance running.
And.
So the sport is to get from one town to the other,
just as fast as you can.
Yeah, the only thing worse than running
is running long distances, what else I say.
But I assume that you've got people
set up all along the way,
go cheering you on, and how do you,
you know, until flagging of water.
I saw some people run into the village, and everyone was cheering, and I asked do you, you know, until flagging of water in the house. I saw people run into the village and everyone was cheering
and I asked why and they said,
well, they didn't die along the way
and that there's a lot of dangerous animals out there.
Oh yeah.
I did my first week here, I accidentally signed up
for a de-cathalon and I couldn't do it
and they're like, you know, just attempts.
So I did enter the triathlon,
which is where I tried a de-cathalon.
I failed miserably, but you know, at least I tried. So I think that'll
go a long way in terms of building up some rapport for running for town
daddy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, I should say when you run for town daddy, you do have
to complete the run. Okay, okay. I mean, it's also a democratic process, but sort of part
of the vetting before you get the nomination is to complete the run.
And it is dangerous out there.
I mean, there are all sorts of bears and griffins
and scrambles and uh,
scrambles, what's a scramble?
Oh, it's sort of like, uh,
imagine if a spider was upside down
and it had another kind of tail coming straight
out of the middle of it that can kind of hit you from any direction
There's also brambles which are like just a free growing berry, but
But they're delicious. Oh, yeah, yeah, you got to be careful there
You got to know which berries you can eat in which you can't just as deadly as a scramble right right
And the way you remember it is if it's on its back with a tail that's scrambling to get you
It's a scramble
And if it's in a bush with a bee, it's a bramble. Okay, so you have to remember that's what in town
They call the the bramble scramble preamble
Someone should have told you when you got here or did you come under the cloak of darkness? Oh, yes
We arrived late at night.
Our ship had just crashed ashore.
A few leagues away, and we traveled here,
over a week, after week, until we found this peaceful place
where we could settle down, as I had prepared to ascend
to the realms of Ephesians.
Now that my true purpose has been completed.
But like when you actually got to town or was night
No, it's actually day, but we did come here. There's a giant bird a Raven called the darkness who brought us here
And we were under its cloaca because it was holding us in its talons
So we arrived under the cloaca of darkness
So that explains why you can get the preamble scramble
Bramble because the welcome wagon probably didn't see you under the cloaca of darkness.
Oh, is that what that wagon is?
That's how it's circling the town?
Yeah.
Oh, an actual welcome wagon. What a good idea.
You should have the conductor on.
Oh, yeah?
Oh, yeah, he's a hoot.
What's his name?
Owen?
Owen.
Wow, wow, wow.
Speaking of welcome, does anybody ever go to the well to do their dirty business?
Uh, I mean, like, clean off their dirty laundry
and waving in front of everybody and saying,
yeah, I'm gonna air out this dirty laundry.
Yeah, do they ever air out their dirty laundry?
Oh yeah, all the time.
That's why I'm there.
Thank God, Sean, when you said welcome,
I was convinced what you were referring to was someone just
Jacking off into a well. I also thought maybe you were talking about jacking off into a well
But then I was confused because obviously a lot of actual washing happens at the well you two discuss me to think that
Me a little batch or with two little dirty but holes would be talking about welcome
Unbelievable well, well.
Turns out you two are the perverts.
But Wisla, you must be an absolute wealth of town gossip
and rumor.
For instance, I have many questions
about the proprietor of this tavern,
it's Derber.
What a stirbers deal.
He seems very sort of angry about something, but then sometimes you come in here. He seems like he's in a great mood and you're like, oh, what's going on?
Is he is he angry at me did I do something and is he just like what's happening there with?
Okay, so
Sturber and I do go way back and oh
No, no, no, I mean like sure sure I mean it's a small hamlet
So you're gonna you're gonna have kissed a lot of people you know good breaking your eggs
Yeah, if absolutely you know and when your geographically isolated like we are with the ocean and the unnappable mountain
And oh, what's an ocean the earth?
She's I don't the sea you came by ship am I crazy? is an urchin? Oh wait, let's go around one more time.
All right, Chun, are you crazy?
Yes.
Okay.
Well, that's like, we got it.
That's sad, was it?
But seriously, Chun, she said whiz bees before I swear.
I swear she said whiz bees.
We'll have to play it back.
Whiz look, do your family have in town?
Oh yeah, I have a river sprite sister is here, I have a tree sprite brother, and then, you know, all men are of wind and birds or my parents, so...
Oh, whoa whoa whoa.
That's a coincidence.
Uh, my parents happen to be a conspiracy of wind and rain and fire and birds and frogs and something.
That is so crazy. Have you done that thing where you do 23 and me where
you gather 23 villagers and yourself into a field and try to see the similarities?
Yeah we just sort of look at each other and we're like maybe you maybe you. Yeah you're
and me should do that. I wonder like I wonder how many similarities we have. How often
when you do that when you gather 23 people and you together do you discover
that one of the people in the town is a serial killer?
Yeah, I heard that's how they cut the Kodiak killer,
that big bear that was mulling everyone.
You know what, I heard that bear, that Kodiak killer,
I heard he was actually intoxicated on rotting brambles.
Because when they fall to the ground,
they do start to sort of go through the process
that they would eventually become wine
So I heard that bear was a little tipsy. Yeah, they would have caught him much earlier
But he was wearing a collar and a tie so no one could tell
But he wasn't just a person clever bear, but yeah a bunch of villagers got to a field that they thought really said get spread that bear
Oh my god, I said so you to the Ornwizla,
you two are like basically step siblings,
or cousins possibly.
Cousins, yeah, something like that, yeah.
Winded birds, that's a common origin place for,
you know, not too many people, so yeah.
Hmm, alright, well met you are.
Well met today, and certainly,
at the next family reunion
Once we all return to the realms of a fesious once we've completed our true purpose most assuredly we shall meet again
Wait, I think that's what Wizzle was saying well met. I think you're supposed to meet her at the well
Oh, okay, well, I'll come down to the well and make some wishes
You know, I've got a lot going on You know I've completed my true purpose. Whiz I saw the posters. Did we miss it? Has the well met gala already happened? Oh
Yeah, I'm so sorry. It was this past weekend and it was a really tough list to get on
You know who wore what and who wore it best? Okay, so we'll find out right after the break. Hahaha.
You should have just shot this for us. Yes, I'd love to post for a portrait,
but I'm up here at the top of this table right now.
Yes, yes.
I'll be down in a few minutes,
or just wrapping up our pastoral entertainment right now.
Thank you.
Thank you for your interest.
Hahaha. Uh, who, Arnold your interest. Ha ha ha.
Uh, who, Arnold?
You said Arnold.
I'm glad that you're able to revel in defeating the Dark Lord,
and-
Which I think-
The fact that the Dark Lord is defeated
is demoralizing most of the evil minions throughout Foon,
but maybe you should cool it a little bit on talking about it so much
so that people don't ask too many questions about
why you're still alive. Should I be here for this or? Oh no that's fine that's fine you're a
born of wind of birds I think I think we can think we understand each other. Oh yeah big wink.
We should ask all the dirty laundry that gets aired in front of you and all the gossip and rumor
that you sort of absorb. Do you typically spell the beans?
Yeah.
You know, I want to create an environment that the well,
where people feel comfortable telling me their wishes.
So I try to keep a very, very tight lip,
close to the vest vibe.
You know, I don't like to go around telling everybody else's wishes
and dishes and...
wish-stish. I...
What was that last one?
Tricia's. Tricia's.
Have you not been in a twist yet?
I'm sure you're getting invited soon.
But yeah, I don't like to gossip.
That's not what I feel like my role is as I hear wishes.
Oh, that said, do you have any real juicy stuff you could share with us. Oh, yeah, it's a real juicy
Slop me fucking business. Yeah, we're new to town and we would just love like the most interesting
juicy guys. All right, right here's what I'll tell you and I think because you're new to town
I can say I can say it without saying too much and I won't be betraying the trust of this person because you don't know.
But let's just say a certain statue, not the baby one, a certain statue on the outside
of town, was stepping out with Brideyes.
What?
Stepping out with Brideyes.
Oh, have you met Brideyes?
Brideyes is a real hunky character in town. Real sex cut.
Real Oolala.
I saw him walk by and I thought like his eyes were so sexy and so bright. I thought like,
oh, my eyes are gonna, oh, burst.
Well, I'm very intrigued by this. How does the statue come to life at night? Is it one of those
types of statues? Or is it a thing where thing where like bride eyes is just fucking a statue?
Which is worse and we and whistle which is no
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no eyes but as soon as they looked at pride as they turned around and turned into a statue. Oh I see. The affair happened before being statuamatized. Right and every now again the statue will fall apart and then be rebuilt. Sorry Ernie just a backtrack slightly did you see
Statuamatized? Mm-hmm okay and we're letting that slide because as someone in town told
me that's exactly what it's called.
Workstreet.
As town daddy, as potential future town daddy,
I welcome your phrases and I celebrate them to no end.
You know, Chant, if you're running to be town daddy,
you should probably also know that you need to be on good terms with the town mommy and the other town.
The other town of Bimble Top, you know, so we're, we're
nibble bottom, they're Bimble Top. Yeah, that adds up. It's part of the
tension between the two town sexual. It's a kind of top bottom sort of problem.
Do I have to be a powered nibble bottom? There's no set dynamic other than
there needs to be a vibe. You know, there's sort of just the unmistakable,
the town daddy and town mommy need to have a vibe.
Okay, however it shakes out, it'll be different to every,
every pair through time.
So maybe if I go to Bimble Top and I talk to the town mommy
and I bring her home distance.
We run there and I say,
me and my Arnie saw you across the mountain and loves your vibes.
Is that like a good icebreaker?
Not to be good.
Here's what I'll tell you about the town mommy.
She does not suffer fools.
Damn it.
Fuck.
We're out.
My one week this.
Women who don't suffer fools.
Hmm.
What if they're charming fools?
What if they kind of like make it work?
You know, as long as there's a vibe, as long as there's a vibe as long as there's a vibe I'm just saying
She's just like what are those people where like oh I all I want to do is prove to her that I'm worthy
You know immediately it's like you want to rise to her level. She's one of those. Yeah. Yeah
Perhaps if she doesn't suffer fools perhaps I should run to be town down. I fell off my seven foot don't you
Jesus Christ how can he fall while he's floating?
He's yeah!
He talked all the way down.
Oh, he's just trying to get back to the place, bees.
Oh, you know what?
I have a run.
You know what?
We're not done yet.
Oh, sorry.
Everyone just remain calm, remain here.
Stop autographing that guy's ass and get up here.
Here we are. Why don't they let ass and get up here. There you are.
Why don't they let it that donkey in here?
I have to ask you sort of a personal question. Were you on the floor in a puddle of your own
penile discharge?
Yeah, yeah, that's what happened.
I can choose to be upset about that or embarrassed about it or I can just go with it because
it's what happened. I can't change it. This is the life I'm leading now and
I'm okay with that. I will say one of the things I do like about food in general is
You know what people aren't necessarily stopped not the food definitely not the food
But people aren't necessarily stopped in their tracks by a little piss or shit
No, no
And what would we?
Why would we?
I mean, we all got it.
I mean, not me, I'm wind, but-
So, do you eat?
Yeah, but only-
Already.
Only for joy.
Thank you.
Thank you, Chant.
But it's okay.
Only for joy.
Joy's the best part of eating.
Yeah, yeah.
This I'm saying, I only eat for joy, I don't need it.
So I could go like months at a time without eating,
but if like someone's making a lobster roll, I can have it.
Mmm.
But we're in the ocean.
On into their lobster rolls on Earth.
I think so.
Well, lobster rolls are wonderful.
It's sort of a big festival where we line up all the lobsters,
and we teach them to sit, teach them to play dead,
we teach them to roll over, then we just eat them all.
Hmm, sounds cruel.
And after we eat them, we tell him to play dead for good.
Otherwise, they'll crawl back out.
That hurts.
Hi.
Yeah, I forgot once.
Crawl right back out.
Ooh.
Yeah.
The worst sensation in the world, if I may,
is a pinch boy, is a little pinch boy crawling back up
out of your system.
Okay, okay, yes. Okay, well, what about this? What about this? Okay, you also
with that had a mini soda float. So there's like a thin layer of sugary dairy.
You know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah.
Nobody's sort of like upsetting you to me and that it has that like coating and then the little pinch boy is like
A-a out of that. I mean, that's pretty bad. Sort of a carbonated pinchy. Right. Yeah. and then the little pinch boy is like, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah like the standard? Oh no, again, no power to make it happen. Just the power to let you say it out loud.
So it's really just as many wishes
that are on your heart.
Okay, I do wish I was maybe a little bit taller.
Uh huh.
I wish I was a baller.
Sure.
I wish I had someone who look good, you know, I'd call.
I wish for success for my new business,
my black and white Smithy.
Oh, yeah.
A lot of people in town are really excited about that.
Oh, good.
I mean, I'm hearing a lot of good buzz.
A lot of good buzz.
Oh my gosh, thank you so much.
This is maybe rude.
Can you carry a weapon or armor?
I can.
Yeah, I can propel them upward with wind.
Oh, great.
So here, I have this chain mail I made,
this black and white chain mail.
Would you want that? Ooh. Oh my gosh, I have this uh chain mail I made this black and white chain mail. Would you want that?
Oh my gosh I wish I could have worn this at the well met gala. This is a look.
Wow it sounds really cool. You sound like wind chimes when you're wearing it.
This is a look. I would wear this by the sea. What an ocean look. Thank you, Chuck. Oh my goodness.
You're most welcome. And if anybody asks you just tell them where you got it.
That's free of charge for you. I just hope you repay me with word of mouth.
Absolutely. Absolutely.
Are words of mouth, I should say. Oh, and I, one more wish. One more wish is a two-lead.
No, of course. I have no power to make it happen. Just a power let you say it out loud.
Okay, I wish to be, I'm gonna say it.
I wish to be town daddy.
Okay, all right.
Whiz there?
Have you ever considered running for town daddy?
You know, I, that might be something
that's in my like long term plan,
but I think right now I'm just trying to get
the wish side of the well off the ground,
not in the ground.
Ha ha ha ha. Good well, Drew. Thank you, it's a well. I'm just trying to get the wish side of the well off the ground not in the ground
Good well true. Thank you. It's a well. Sorry that that's really well-trodden territory. Sorry
She can't turn it off So sorry so but it couldn't be in my future that'd be no that'd be great to be talented yet
Absolutely, but that's sort of I don't know that might be in my next sort of era
How old are you if you don't mind my asking?
712.
Oh, wow, you're older than Yusador.
Oh, okay, little bro, okay, little cuss.
Haha, I, I, gladly so, I mean,
you're talking to a, a, an elemental essentially,
a, a, wind that, uh, why, why would I assume that I was older than wind?
Yeah, I mean, I spent about probably 600 of those years
were like barely conscious win thoughts.
So I mean, yes, my existence is 712.
My corporal form is 86.
So, you know, this is what I mean, there's errors.
I'm open for my evolution, take many forms,
and potentially count daddy being one of them.
But for now, just the wishes, just the wishes.
So you'd like to get people to emotionally unburden themselves for your enjoyment?
Uh, yeah, I would say for my fulfillment.
You know, enjoyment sounds like I'm like, maybe deriding them in some way.
It's more about like feeling like fulfilled with purpose, yeah.
And I just say it because you'd really be a good podcaster than I mean.
I don't know.
It seems hard.
It seems like a lot of work.
It's not.
That's not really hard.
This is hard.
This whole thing, you need pay for this table.
That's hard.
No, I'm telling you, it's truly the easiest thing in the world.
Like everything you said, like just off the top of your dome, like off book,
like that is all what it takes
to be a parkcaster.
I think you have something.
That's even tired, I don't know, I don't know.
No, what's hard is singing.
Yeah.
Like the loosens, I could never be the loosens.
Yeah.
I mean, I could never be the loosens.
Agree to disagree, here I go.
I'm Yusador and I gotta spell my new friend, Whizzler,
that the wishishing Well.
Wow.
We're here tonight having a lot of fun.
And I'm going to wake up tomorrow under the sun.
No more dock days where we show up at night.
I'm in Yusador.
I'm here to fight.
You hate to hear anybody over 300 rap.
It's just, it's never fun.
It's never fun.
I thought that was pretty good.
I mean, it was almost, the canances were almost right.
Be careful, you'll compete against yourself for wizards choice.
If you keep dropping bars like that.
Let's be honest.
I'm just a bit of a vote.
You're going to split the vote.
Let's be honest, you said we're just probably not going to win.
Not that you don't deserve it, but you defeated the Dark Lord so early in the year, right?
Too early in the year.
If you defeated the Dark Lord closer to the end,
like you did it long enough that now there's
gonna be a little bit of a backlash.
People are like, I don't know.
It's not so great that he defeated the Dark Lord.
Yeah, well what's spin text doing?
That's what I'm doing.
Yeah, it is tricky timing.
You're gonna have to have some sort of push
to remind people closer to voting.
I don't know, just something for your consideration.
Yeah, what if I went up to the top of the mountain? I just started putting up some big signs to remind people the top of the three peaks of the un nameable mountain
Yeah, okay. Yeah, I guess if you could get up there then well, I defeated the dark one
I think I can get up to the top of these three peaks pretty easily
Yeah, it was another thing. I think I could name that mountain. Could you name that mountain in three things?
Whizla, another thing, I think I could name that mountain. Could you name that mountain in three dings?
Yes, so it's no longer the unnamed little mountain,
that's dumb, it's not like there's a spell
to where you can't name it.
Ding, ding, ding.
I never think of a single name.
That's three dings, I'm so sorry.
That's three dicks.
Thank you for having me.
No problem.
Oh, Whizla, can I blow your fucking mind?
He's due.
I'm always blowing my mind. I'm win!
Do you shake?
I don't know if anybody has ever asked you this, but before we let you go, can I ask you,
what's your wish?
That is really so sweet of you, Chant, and that's exactly what I do.
Bonus points of it's real juicy.
You know, my wish?
My wish is for Owen, the conductor of the Wagging Wheel.
Go on a midnight catamaran with me in the ocean.
I think that he's the real talk of the town, not Brad-Eyes.
I feel like he's the lover I would want to love.
But you know, we'll see.
Of course.
And Owen told me that being turned into a statue
as being stachematized, I could tell from his eyes
there was a sense of longing, like something was missing
from his life.
You know, he's just like a sweet pencil soul.
And I think, you know, I think we could really make
some magic together.
So, you know, yeah, I'm putting it out there.
I'm wishing for it, I'm wishing.
Yeah, we can't make anything happen,
but we're happy to hear it, you know.
We're happy to listen.
You know what I feel good to say, feels good.
So I wish.
That's what you say.
That's why I wanted to provide that for you.
And one more thing before you go,
I noticed that this bar, this cavern,
the strange familiar has a lot of board games.
Would you mind playing a quick round of gust two with me?
Ah, I haven't played Gus 2 in a long time.
I'm gonna say 46 years. This is great. This is great fun.
Let me put it on. Is that a game where you have to guess who farted?
What? No Arnie, this is a wind-based game.
You have three panels and each one is a different type of gust.
Is your gust a Zephyr?
Uh, gust 2. Okay, down to two, your turn.
Okay, is your gust an ocean breeze? It is not. What left? Is your gust wearing glasses?
Yes. Yay! Oh, it's Ron. Did your gust have blonde curly hair? Yes. Oh, it's a hurricane.
I love gusts too.
Well, Olli, it's been a while.
I want to help kind of try to wrap things up here.
And it seems like they're having fun playing that game.
And I was going to ask Wizard of to join my quest, but...
You are hiring to have some meaning to ask.
Usually, you're sort of go-to is are hiring you to have some meaning to ask.
Usually your sort of go-to is to ask people to join your quest to defeat the dark lord,
but you can't really do that.
Well, I mean, I suppose I could sort of create a new quest, and it could be part of the
reason why I'm not disappearing yet, and maybe we could tell people.
But you said, we can't put together a quest because we have to stay here and make sure nothing happens in the basement.
Is your gust miles the wind with the newsboy cap?
Nope, nice try, gust too.
But maybe I just, maybe it's some, you know, no one's sense about how I'm trying to wrap up Los Angeles and some of the old minions of the Dark Lord and the forces of evil and general I have to kind of take care of.
That, at least it's an excuse for me.
Because here's the thing, you may not know this,
but I can drag out my quest for a really long time.
I know, I do.
You do?
Why don't you just say like shake your hand
and say what's a delight talking with her
and you hope to see her again sometime?
Is your gust, John and Tom, the twin gusts who ride a bicycle?
Oh, you got it!
Oh, that's my gusts.
Ah, well, Wisla, it's been a pleasure having you on the show.
Here is my hand, I've extended it to you,
and I hope that you've enjoyed your time here with us.
That's a such a nice time. It's really great.
You three, please come by the wishing well.
Anytime you want to say more wishes.
OK.
And you know, just keep making yourself at home.
Everyone to nibble about them is excited that you're here.
So thank you.
Thank you.
Bye bye.
Bye bye.
Bye bye.
So long.
Bye.
Wow.
She blew out that open window so fast.
She can move so fast. She's wind. I mean, what do you expect?
You know, she could back carry second. They're gonna get it
Do you want me to pitch in for these mini sodas? Was that oh no? No, no, all treat I
Was on it
You gotta be careful you do not want to probably ever just be talking about her on the off-chance that she could like
Wushin so fast like if you're saying something negative about like how she has that weird voice
I wanted to let you guys know one more thing the next lobster roll is in two weeks. Okay, so putting your reminder binders
Thank you. Thank you so many questions about the reminder binders, but look down Arnie looked out at the table
All three of us now have reminder binders. Oh, that's amazing wait, and she was saying wishing well right not who's
Well, oh shit the way she talks who could have been saying anything
I mean we were saying wishes the whole time and not who's so I
Should wear that's fair. That's fair. Am I crazy? I'm still not gonna let go that way
let's go down the table one more time ony uh crazy like a fox chant Foxy like a
crazy and myself crazy slowly going mad as the power that dwells within me
grows and grows and grows with no purpose left. And no one knows that I have to go.
Woo!
Sorry, did you get it?
Do you like these reminder binders?
Because I have a couple other options.
No, I really like mine.
I think the picture of the kitty cat on the front of mine
is particularly cute.
OK, great.
OK, bye.
Hi, it's Ash.
Well, that was close.
I was having a real piffney there.
Whoa, the side of my binder has instructions.
It says, trap her keep her
I would not do that really yeah trap. Where's there some evil spirit? I'm supposed to trap
I don't want this responsibility here you should or take this all right. You can have the kitty one
Yeah, we'll find out this season on hello from the magic tavern. What do you do? I don't know
I'm trying a new thing this season season on Hello for the Magic Tavern.
And then, the bunch of cool stuff.
Are we gonna be doing previously, huh?
We'll see you next week.
If this was your very first impression of us, you really got to listen to a few of these,
get the big picture, which granted is very similar to what you just heard.
But Arnie did just promise there's gonna be a lot of cool stuff.
Use it or the wizard, destroyer of the dark lord, I guess is what we're saying, was
played by Matt Young, who appears thanks to an agreement with vague theatrical accents unlimited.
John TtheTalking Badger was played by Adolf Refyre.
Whiz love the wind sprite of the wishing well was played by special guest Jessica McKenna.
Check out Jess's delightful improvised musical podcast, Off Book, wherever you listen to podcasts.
Off Book also doubles as a workout podcast as Jess has to carry Zach Reno for 45 minutes
each week. Hello from the Magic Tavern is produced by Arne Neekamp, Matt Young and Adolf Refy,
post-production coordination by Garrett Schultz. This episode edited by Stefan Dranger,
special assistance by Ryan DeGeorgie. Hello from the Magic Tavern logo by Allard LeBan,
Magic Tavern theme by Andy Poland. Hello from the Magic Tavern is now a fully independent production, so we finally moved out
of the garage.
If you'd like to support the show, check us out on Patreon at patreon.com slash Magic
Tavern.
Supporters of the show on Patreon get ad-free episodes, including the first three seasons.
Access to the Magic Tavern Discord, and two new bonus episodes every month.
Here's a clip of the latest bonus episode, Fall asleep with Flower, where listeners
are encouraged to try to fall asleep while listening to the episode.
Well, at least we're owning it.
Anyway, here's the clip.
Are you what's your sleeping routine?
Well, you know, basically, I tell myself I'm going to go to sleep. Then, like, two or three hours later, out loud, I say like,
oh shit, I did it again.
I stayed up way past the time I was supposed to go to sleep.
Then I crawled to bed, and I know I shouldn't light a torch
and just stare at the torch for 20 to 30 minutes while in bed.
But I do.
I know it's going to make it harder for me to sleep, but...
They say that red light makes it hard for you to go to sleep because it burns you
It's true. I've been watching the sky a lot of night
No, and that's the same issue. It's like you start watching and then you're like
This looks different like something's happening and then you stay and you watch some more sky and then something different comes in
It's like a little thing flies by says, are you still watching the sky?
And I'm like, you better, I am.
I'm still here.
And it's a little embarrassing every time I let that guy know.
Yeah, I'm still watching the sky.
Stop asking me, I'm just doing it.
I want any shame.
BANG!
Still awake?
Then we've failed you.
Maybe the full episode will do the job.
It's already available to Patreon supporters.
Fomo much?
Get more info at patreon.com slash magic tavern.
And remember, practice a little act of kindness every day.
And once that's out of the way, break some hearts.
you