Hello From The Magic Tavern - Season 4, Ep 62 - Squid Kid

Episode Date: February 13, 2023

The guys meet Umwelt, a Squid Kid, who experiences the world differently than they do.CreditsArnie: Arnie NiekampUsidore: Matt YoungChunt: Adal RifaiUmwelt: Holly LaurentMysterious Man: Tim SniffenDirector Ward: Shane WilsonProducers: Arnie Niekamp, Matt Young, and Adal RifaiPost-Production Coordination: Garrett SchultzEditor: Chris RathjenMagic Tavern Logo: Allard LabanTheme Music: Andy PolandYou can support the show directly and receive bonus episodes and rewards by joining our Patreon at https://www.patreon.com/magictavern for only $5 per month. Follow us on Twitter and Instagram, and now Patreon!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Ah, another day of saving the universe using only the power of my voice. This is how Michael Bavaro must feel. Director Ward, what are you doing by the, uh, dimensional monitor circuits? You mean the facade that I built to create the illusion of portals to the multiverse, Tim? Uh, yeah, that. Just clearing some dust bunnies. A sod that I built to create the illusion of portals to the multiverse, Tim? Uh, yeah, that. Just... clearing some dust bunnies? Oh yeah, they're everywhere. I was gonna get a Roomba, then I saw this MIT Robotics Lab video. Tim, I worry that you're losing focus.

You have a job to do. Right, but... The job, Tim. Maybe for a... LaCroix? Yes, yes. The Zubas of Waters, of course. Mmmmm. The following podcast is not real, but if you wish upon the first evening star with all the hope you can muster,

it will still be about 40ish minutes of recorded human non-transdimensional voices. So sit back and enjoy the show. Hello from the Magic Tavern! A weekly podcast from the magical land of fun. I'm your host Arnie Neekcamp. If you've never listened to the podcast before, this is everything you need to know. Seven and a half years ago, I fell through a dimensional portal behind a Burger King in Chicago into the magical, fantastical land of fun. Luckily, I'm still getting a Wi-Fi signal

from the Burger King through the dimensional rift, and I use that to upload a podcast recorded here in the tavern, the strange familiar, in the town of Nibblebottom, at the base of the unnamable mountain in the magical land of fume. And I am joined, as always, by my co-host, Chant the Talking Badger.

Mm, chant please. Da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da Please a goose moose. It's a large moose with goose wings A large like you've never been outside You know, I've seen a lot of magical things here, but I don't think I've seen a goose moose well, they are beautiful creatures and I Have a little present here. I don't know if you saw but the goose moose gave me a manicure No, what do you what do you think of it? Yeah, looks good. Looks good, that's all you have to say. Yeah, no you're certain.

You know how rare it is to get a mana cure? When you just or his mana runs low, when he's drained from his magic, to cure that, to fill it back up, takes so long and I got a manicure. Oh, you're talking about the bot, like, you're talking about my nails. What are you doing?

I thought you were talking about your nails and I'm like, they'll split the same. You need to get a refund on that manicure. Well, it's free from the miscus. Oh, sorry, a guss miss. Never swap those up, Arty, never. Oh. How are you, Arty?

Hey, nobody ever asks, how are you? Oh, I'm doing good. Yeah, we can move into the sort of meal of the episode, you know, we were a goose moose thing was kind of a moose bush thing at the beginning of this episode. How did you know her name? Oh, you know, that was her name. Her name is a moose bush. Wow. A moose bush, the goose moose. Yes, and the way she moves her caboose I just want to smooch. Oh my gosh. Oh, I'm surprised you've never Encounter the goose mousse before at the very similar to Pegasus a

Bay a Pegasus a Pegasus what if you ever get around a Pegasus during dinner all they do is rhyme it is exhausting Mmm, I got eggs on my legs and a ham on mine Well nothing rhymes with ham, but you get the idea. I see so it's like a pegassist But it's longer than you remember it being when you're a child exactly Well, thank you for asking chant. Yeah, I'm doing okay. I'm just been how a week I've been wondering like was I a little too hard on DQ last week? Yeah. Yeah, I mean, maybe a little too hard,

but aren't you, you can't beat yourself up because you're the greatest warrior in food. If you start to beat yourself up, you'll kill yourself. That's how strong you are. That's true, you're right. Thank you for saying it, Chant, because I didn't want to have to be the one to say it first, this upset, I am the greatest warrior in all of food now,

and it's a big responsibility. I have all these scrolls, and I apologize to both of you that I've been leaving all these scrolls here on the table, of requests from people to save them. And I'm just trying to dig into some of these requests. Yeah, let's take a look at some of, let me unravel one. Help, help, help. Bookcase fell on me leg. Hmm. That just sounds like you

need another person, not a warrior. Yeah, it doesn't really seem appropriate for the skillset that's supposed to be the greatest warrior on food, but it does seem appropriate for Arnie. Yeah. And I also, when I read this one before, and I was like, the way they say me leg, I'm like, I don't know. Just something about it doesn't seem right It could be a pirate playing a joke on you Because they've already got a pig leg And they're like a bookcase fell on me leg and then you go over there and they're like, haha It was wood the whole time. Oh, do you think the pirates know you as yarny?

Oh wait, am I gonna start getting different names from different people? Absolutely! Oh sweetie, you didn't know you've already gotten secret names. They're secret from me? Yeah, those are the best ones. We can't tell you, that's how secret they are. Oh well. You know how Yusur knows all his secret names?

Uh huh. Yeah, that's not great. Oh yeah, that's insufferable. Speaking of which, I'm also joined by my other co-host, Eustodor of the Ghost. I am Eustodor, wizard of the twelfth realm of a feces master of light and shadow, manipulator of magical light, stavaur of chaos champion of the great halls of trocus, the elves Numius fying Alec.

The dwarves Numius soaring in hookstained cheese. And I was known in the North East as guessmaniest Maystar until I completed my true purpose, defeating the Dark Lord, and ascended to the realms of Ephesius to be with the goddesses once more, but now this ghostly Give me give me that lifestyle Sure, yeah, I just told you last week you can have it. I already used it I don't like to use magical items More than once. Oh, and speaking of here's a manicure for you. You said or I think you'll be pleased Thank you. That's so nice. I did feel like a little Depleted

So I think this is gonna be really good. I was gonna have a blue potion but I manicure so much nice. There's nothing more relaxing I have to assume than a manicure. Just like you and the boys relax, get a manicure, feel rejuvenated, feel beautiful, turn your tourist form of blue. Oh yeah we used to do that all the time back at the great halls of Turokas. We just all go out for a manicure. And then for some mags. And then for some, you know, hat shopping or a staff shopping. And just to make a day of it.

Now what's a mark? A mag, Arita? Oh, okay. Sometimes they're just like that, I guess. Oh, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, it's not strange and fantastical enough for you from your boring world that I haven't created some incredible drink that's filled with magical powers.

It's just a regular Magarita that's filled with gnome poop. Do you guys think that pirates call them YARGARITA's? Yeah, I don't know why I'm so caught up on pirate speech today. Yeah, I don't know, that's a good up on power at speech today. Yeah, I don't know. That's a good question I think I'm really concerned about this guy who's hurt me leg. Well, not me leg, but he leg, but he leg Yeah, he like should I save the guy that hurt he leg? Cash darn it Arnie you got to get out there. You got to keep your brand alive because right now

You're on the front of everyone's mind right and if And if you don't do feats, if you don't keep this up, then people are gonna start to forget about you. That's true. And you know what, an annoying thing happened this week. I hate to admit that this is annoying, but I heard that there's another Arnie in Finn. What? There's someone named Arnie the Parrot.

Arnie the Parrot. Yeah. There's kind of a fun musicality to that. So you've heard of Arnie the parrot? Well, I thought I think about it. Sounds like maybe I have to- That's a little familiar. Here's my question, how is Arnie spelled? I have to assume just by the way you said it,

and the fact that parrot is the surname, I'd have to assume ARNE? Oh, shorter than yours. shorter than mine, that makes me mad. I have to- oh, I don't feel good about it, Oh, shorter than yours. And shorter than mine, that makes me mad. I have to- Oh, I don't feel good about it, but it does, it makes me mad that it's shorter than mine.

Arnie, new branding, think about it. Picture this. R-N-E. Arnie. Arnie. Why? Ranny? Ranny.

I'm not gonna change my name. All right. Other people have to change in relation to me. I'm the greatest warrior in all of food. Alright, speaking of which, let's open another one of these scrolls and see if it's better than the lake one. Alright, uh... Please help. I am trapped in a tower. Please bring all of your gold. I help, help, help. I'm trapped in a tower. Oh, this is just from Rapunzel. She's just trying to get your gold again.

Oh, yeah. Oh, here's the fun one. Arnie, this is a whole family. Help, help, help. Made pasta not enough salt. Hmm, yeah. And you can see the whole family took turns writing parts of that. Yeah, so the kids have terrible handwriting.

Mm-hmm. Arnie, who are we gonna help? We gotta help someone. You know, the pasta one seems like it'd be the easiest, but I'm a terrible cook. Well, they're just asking for salt. Yeah, but where am I gonna get that at this hour? It's gonna have to be he leg.

Either that or I'm gonna go back to Castle Hawks by her and kill a bunch more vampires. Goosmoos probably has a salt lick. Well, a Moosbush does have a salt lick. Do you wanna use that? I don't wanna... You don't wanna ask a Moosbush the goose moosh, to set some salt loose? No.

Use the loose. Arnie, I choose to not. Do that. Boosh. Their is fine. I'll keep reading through these, but we need to have our guests on, I think. Okay, yes. I'm very excited.

This is a real weird looking guest. You know, that always makes me happy. Don't start They Already we're all thinking it, but don't say it. They're sitting right next to me while I'm saying all this They got a weird squid head ladies and gentlemen squid kid. Hey, hey, I'm so happy to be here Oh, well, uh, um felt nice to meet you and nice to meet you. Yeah nice to meet you, um, well It is a pleasure to make your acquaintance You can you can shake this one. You can shake this one. You can shake this one. I'm cool. That's a tentacle

That's a tentacle. That's not an arm. That's a tentacle. That's fine. Okay. Okay. Yeah squids tentacle What is the difference though between an arm and the tentacle? Arnie, what are you asking? Your tentacles, you should cover with your pants. Well, except for me, I let mine hang loose. Also, my arms actually have brains inside of them. I'm a neurosophisticate. Oh, do you know if you're neurotypical or you probably are?

I don't think I'm, even when I think I'm not entirely neurotypical now. Oh, okay. But I am not neurosophisticate, I don't think. Yeah, I, like if one of my, if one of my legs got cut off, it could still, you know, go around by itself. It has its own brain. It would be able to hunt. No. You know, and the crazy thing is one of my legs would be able to hunt, capture, kill, but then it would seek to, you know,

bring the fish up through all the, towards the mouth, and then I wouldn't have a mouth, but. That's fucking bonkers and amazing. Arnie, I don't have ever told you, but I am narrow typical. I play the fiddle. Oh, wow. Do you play it here?

Do you have it here? Do you have your violin? Usually you have it here? Do you have your violin? Usually you're on the fire. If we're camping or telling stories. So wait, is that narrow typical or narrow typical? I guess I've heard it both ways. So Oomfeldt, you have, like Arnie said, you're really weird looking. You have this weird squid head.

And then the rest of your body is kind of, I don't know how to put it. That is a human body. Human body. Yeah, we'll say, okay. Squid head human body. Squid on top. Squid on top. Yeah. Human body. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, and I've been bullied as you can imagine. Oh, I've been doing a lot of work like the the good thing now is that I can just jump on social spheres or social globes and paste stuff, find people who also are neosophisticate, all different types of kind of self-help stuff

of taking care of it myself. I get a lot of encouraging messages throughout the day. I've also started bodybuilding. I did CrossFit for a long time. I was getting too injured, so now I'm doing a more gentle program, but I'm still building mass. And yeah.

Some of that stuff is probably best saved for the social spheres, really. Some of the details about CrossFit. Umveld, Arnie may not be familiar with the social spheres because he is a man from another world. Also, he's pretty old. But Arnie, there are these crystal balls that the youth here in Foon love to look at.

And they just sort of like, doom hold. They just spend their all day doom holding these crystal balls. And they're just, you know, they're looking at the swirling Miss inside and just kind of like, you know, swiping around to see what shows up in the crystal ball. Oh, I think I, you know, I mean, I have seen one of those. I think is this one that's really popular with all the kids?

Is it the face ball? It's the, it's the ball that you can see the face of all your friends. Oh, no one's's into face ball anymore. So come on. This is my great, great appearance to face ball. Oh. Yeah, no, I actually never was on face ball. And I know I'm part of a generation that the balls can be addictive. I have my mom restricts my ball time.

Oh, made the mind too. Yeah. How are you guys on prick talk? time. Oh, me and mine too. Yeah. How are you guys on prick talk? Yes! Oh, you got it. Oh, you got to get on prick talk. Is that the one you can see of the pricks of all your friends? So you've been.

Yeah, that's it. Yeah, it's awesome. And like, you don't have to, it's like totally different, like algorithms and stuff like that, because like you don't have to like get followers and everything you can like stuff. You can follow, but like, the thing is that the ball starts to know you. And so then it starts to really tailor topics that you're interested in.

And it'll mostly let you do behold. Well, you can do mold for as long as you want. But honestly, I get to the point where I kind of want to look my friends in the eyes and play some real games and get get physical, you know what I mean? Absolutely. Yeah, the other day I was checking my ball in the shower as you should regularly. And I just was like, what am I doing?

This is boring. And then I was like, I went out, I got on, I went on a date with a goose moose, um, felt. Oh wow. Yeah. And you, you were talking about being inspired and being positive. And I just want to say your t-shirt I think I think I can I think that is a really positive message

Yeah, and I apologize in advance if I do happen to like sometimes I scored inadvertently If somebody surprises me or whatnot and I Inverted that's a fun sport in it. Vertically. Well, you're young too. That'll happen. Yeah. Yeah.

It's too happens to chunt sometimes too. Yeah. Yeah. When I was little, it was like, just wasn't a great while. And like, honestly, in the last few years, it's like a few times an hour. Like, it'll come up. It'll be, I'll just feel like I'm gonna, like, I'm just gonna like release a lot of ink, you know what I mean? And so, but, you know, my mom is like pretty chill about it.

She's like, you know, I don't have a dad in the picture, so there's no one really to talk to about it, but she's like, that's just something, you can go figure out in your room, you know what I mean? Um, and what you're saying is your mom, and I don't know if this is any of my business, but I guess this is a podcast, so I'm going to ask probing questions. Is your mom a human or a squid or some combination of those things? She's a Mollisk men.

Do you know, have you ever met a Mollisk men? Oh yeah. What is a mollusk mollusk man? Well it says M-O-N at the end a mollusk man. Mellusk man. It's basically she's just like me except she's a female so she still has a ink but it's a sure. Hey you don't saying, yeah, we don't want to think about you. Yeah, and people usually think she's just peeing when she does that and it could be that too, you know what I mean? Sure. She sounds nice. Yeah. That's a universal experience. Well, she sounds supportive of you in all your adventures and uh,

giving you space to figure things out. Uh, uh, uh Err, I think you should count yourself lucky. I know it's difficult when you're a little bit younger to appreciate your parents or parents in this case, but hey, they're doing the best they can with what they've got. And that's all they can do. That's a good word, yeah, that's a good word. And, uh, yeah, and she's really cool. She's really, I think That's a good word. Yeah, that's a good word. And yeah, and she's really cool. She's really, I think I have a good mom.

I feel really, I feel really lucky and proud. And yeah, she's been supportive. Oh, that's good. Let me wipe. There's some ink coming from your eye here. Let me just wipe it really. Oh, yeah. I've been really, I've been doing that.

I think that's where that's supposed to come from, but that's okay. It's really surprising, you've been really, I've been doing it. I think that's where that's supposed to come from, but that's okay. It's really surprising, you know, like, because I, not only, well, I hope this is okay to say, but, Of course. You taste good. My, my, my skin tastes, dude.

So when you touched me, I tasted tasted you because I can taste with my skin Oh, that's kind of cool. Yeah, do you like the fact that you can taste everything with your skin? Yeah, I don't I don't know any different So I think it's pretty cool, you know what I mean? I mean it's like flavored pillows definitely Definitely smart like flavored pillows? Definitely. Definitely. Smart. Yeah. Yeah. What I imagine it changes how you pick out

that wonderful t-shirt or whatever. You probably want something that feels good, but also tastes good. Exactly. She got a peanut all day. Exactly. So. Oh!

Oh! That's all right. Don't worry about it. Sorry. You tasted really good. Thank you. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, again. Why don't we take a quick break and we'll be right back with all of us tasting through our skin? Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee Scroll up. What? Put it towards your face. Oh, did you get that lemon? Yeah. But it just feels strange to taste it on my forehead. Huh. Also, why did you put this scroll on my forehead? Yeah, that's something you could put in your mouth.

How are your pants? How are your pants taste? All right. Don't wanna talk about it. Everything touching me, it does not taste great. I'm gonna be honest with you right now. Everything on my body surface right now does not taste great. Yeah, I guess you're in Finn with you, lingerie once a month.

But umveilt isn't this part of the sensory experience now? Aren't you growing closer to Arnie? Arnie aren't you growing closer to Umveilt? Don't you feel like a connection now? Yeah, Arnie, I would invite you to just instead of immediately saying, like, oh, I don't like this, I don't think this is for me. Just say at first, like, this is unfamiliar to me. And then, and then, and then,

if, then there's a chance you might come out of the other side of unfamiliarity being like, I actually think I like it, you know what I'm saying? Okay, alright. Um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um,

um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, well, um, yeah, I was, I was wondering, it's spelled well, but it's pronounced um, well, um, it's actually a really cool word, meaning environment, um, and, and some tongues of other, uh, of other beings, but it basically is describing specifically in the environment that you experience based on the limitations of your own perception. So like, for instance, I would say that Arnie,

among all of us here, probably has the most limited umvout in terms of him experiencing the world only in three dimensions and with five senses. So basically like, Arnie said, well, Arnie, it's so sad, honestly, because you can only see red, blue, and green, and then the variations inside of it. But, like, so basically, your sight stops light-wise in terms of light color, and that

and how it works in your rods and cones and everything. You're, the way you experience color stops at violet. That's only like three colors in. And then, everything here's Arnie. Arnie's got a limited oom felt. Arnie's got to limit it, um, felt. I guess I, I guess I've wanted to do that for years, but I didn't know the words. Your rods and cones suck, dude. Yeah, suck your rods.

Day. Well, they're limited. You have limited rods, and you have limited cones. And like, it's kind of cool, because you're also, like, for instance, you're limited by the language that you speak. You know, you're limited by the language that you speak. You can only think to the degree that you can, like,

really put words to things. But like, because I'm more... Arnie's got limited rod. Whereas I have a sterling rod. Is that right? Yeah, pretty good. Nice. But I just, like, I think it's kind of cool, actually,

because like, the more we can play ourselves in Arnie's shoes and try to experience the world, like through the... Don't put yourself in my shoes, they taste terrible. I know, I did taste that, I did taste that. But you know what, there's like a little bit of vinegar in that, it was once a unfamiliar flavor to me, and once I moved through one familiar, I found something in the vinegar flavor that I kind of find pleasant. Wow, Arnie, do you hear that?

To taste a mile in your shoes and she came out with something positive. I ink, I can. I get it now. Wow. That's really inspiring. You're so positive. Yeah. I ink.

I am. I ink. Therefore I am. And I'll tell you what, like Arnie, in being a neurotypical or whatever it is inside of your oom about, like you can't really understand, you know, like everything that comes after violet, because, you know, colors just keep going past violet. And it's really cool, like, honestly, animals, insects, plants, flora, fauna, stuff like that. And many other species were wizards.

And wizards, we're leaving maps and directions and notes for each other all around you all the time. And you can't see it, because we know you stop at violet, you know? So like, for instance. So we're in secret colorful messages, yeah, am I missing right now all around me? Oh, well, when you look at a flower, do you see the maps and arrows?

There's basically landing strips and directions for the bees, like they're following directions, but all of the maps and everything are after violet, so you would never experience them. But it's a cool way for like a lot of other, you know, non-neurotypical species to be able to communicate with each other in kind of a secret way secret ways, really cool.

Wow. And all of that was a question for you, Sador. Well, I mean, the number of messages beyond the violet spectrum, Monty, that are all around you right now, Chant used the color of Drivit to put a kick me sign on your back. What?

Yeah. I have a history of violet Is there all these animals have been kicking me lately? no unrelated unrelated no, they're just challenging you because you're the greatest warrior in fin. Oh, um belt. Do you happen to know? Do you're kind or anyone that you know from land or sea? Does anyone need like a warrior like a warrior, like a de-done, or like a villain-smited or anything? Oh, always. And by the way Arnie, congrats on that title. That's pretty cool.

Oh, thank you. Well, I'm about. Yeah, yeah. So, yeah, I would say don't focus on your limitations. Look at the positive side of you currently being, you know, what's your title? You're the greatest warrior of all time. And the greatest warrior in all of them accidentally killed our North, the greatest warrior in all of them. Yeah, and you know what,

thank you for pointing out, you know, I don't think of how I perceive the world as a limitation. It's just different from how you do, you know? Maybe I don't see of how I perceive the world as a limitation. It's just different from how you do. Maybe I don't see things exactly the same way that you do, but maybe I'm really good at seeing things the way I do see things. That's a very good point. That's a very good point. And also, before I forget, I did want to tell you that it's beyond violet.

It's the color, but it looks like it's like there's like dribbles of like on your on your pants. Oh, yeah, there's dribbles of the color beyond ultraviolet on my pants. Yeah, the color. That's actually, I'm not supposed to say this Arnie because it's a secret, but you're my best friend, but the geese me's know you as dribble plants. It's one of your secret names. That's one of your secret names buddy. Geese me's plural? Like it's not. Like the plural geese.

Yeah, what would you call them? The goose mooses? That sounds insane. Are geese mooses? That sucks. The geese me's. If you please. No.

Practically deceased for learning about that. I, well, I mean We all have taken this time and then you reverse the spell now you're all right No, no, no, no, no, no, no, now I'm tasting myself from the inside. Oh, did I do that wrong? I think you reversed it. Can you stop it instead of reversing it? Yeah, I'll stop it I think you reversed it. Can you stop it instead of reversing it? Yeah, I'll all stop it You BD Is that better? Didn't sound like that spell would work, but it did and I

Can't I hear that now I'm smelling my thoughts? You're smelling your thoughts. Okay. Yes, that's a new umphill for you. Are I neat? that's great. You know, Chant, when Chant is any kind of animal in the canine family, that Chant can smell time. Did you know that? They can smell time. I didn't even realize that when I ship shift into a dog or a wolf, I do get a sense of I better head home now or time to get a meal. Like, that is really weird.

I mean, I didn't wanna say anything before, but you're much more punctual as a dog. Wow, okay. So when I'm a badger, I'm kind of fucking it up. Yeah, okay, okay, note taken, note taken. You showed up for the recording today saying, ooh, I'm just in time for last week's recording. I'll even know what that was all about.

Yeah, I think. So my new catchphrases. You know what I would be if I could, if I were you, John, I would be echolocating animals a lot like a bad or a dolphin or whatever because like actually using echolocation at the same time that you're using your actual vision with your eyeballs. All of those senses come together at the same time and you can start to identify things visually that you've only ever heard.

Oh, and what if you are a dolphin with bat wings dating a goose moose? Okay, let me shift into a dolphin body and a bat wings and a dog head. Huh? That's dope. That is tight. Bat wings and a dog head That's dope that is tight. What time is it? Let me use my echo location Okay, and now my dolphin bodies being real weird. I don't know what exactly it's doing It's time to poop. Hmm. Chant, you know, I love you.

And this is a weird thing for me to say on this podcast, but too many things happening at the same time. It's time to poop, Arnie. It's time to poop. I'm gonna, let me shake your back. Oh, that sucked. I hated that too many, too many animal instincts budding up against each other.

Yeah, yeah, that's difficult when they come to conflict like that, but that that's that's difficult when they they come to conflict like that, but But that's why everyone's built is so important because it is how they experience the world and we shouldn't shouldn't mock Arnie for being somewhat more No typical is we're saying before you know and perhaps you know it'd be valuable for us to learn what it's like to be like Ar on, should I cast a spell, so that we have human senses for a little while? Earth, human senses? So we can only, so that we can only experience three dimensions, that'll be nuts.

I don't know what that's going to look like. I've never said it before. I'll say it for the first time. Having an oom vault is a oom lot, and I'd like a little oom less. So yeah, I feel like the human oom vault Oom well would be a Oom less than a Oomlaught Try not to be overwhelmed by the vowels that What are you struggling with now? This is one of the more difficult spells because I have to suppress so many senses that we have. Okay. Arana, arana, arana, arana, arana, arana.

Guys, you're gonna love it. Having less senses frees up a lot of your brain space. Just think about the whole pop culture. I swear, you're gonna, it's gonna be great. By the way, before I finish this spell, I'm gonna make it, I'm gonna put a thing in there so it just goes away after a few minutes. So that if I lose a sense that makes me like,

lose touch with magic, it's just auto gonna reset. So don't worry about after a few minutes. So that if I lose a sense, that makes me like lose touch with magic, it's just auto gonna reset. So don't worry about that part of it. I know your ghost, but like if you die halfway through a spout, does that happen very often? Someone like gets trapped? Oh yeah, oh yeah. If you're casting a spell and you die during the spell,

you can summon like half a demon or you can you know, you know can put up a shield around yourself that... We have an office space situation. You sure? What's that now? An office space situation where you're being hypnotized or relaxed, but the nip and the sti is halfway through and that's a promise for the whole movie, although people forget that part.

Guys, well, I can't wait to experience this myself. Rid of all these senses is going to make you think about that stuff more. I can't believe you're not done with the spell because you're only half way there and I already am like Strangely thinking about the NFL. It's so weird. Okay, okay. I'm shocked that you sort of can build timers into his spells.

I never do it. Really makes me feel all the things fucked up in the past not usually safeguards Whoa is it are we there? Whoa is this it are we there? I think whoa this is it Whoa is this it are we there are we there yet is this it? Hey dude back on me dude. I'm never related to you guys so much before this moment. Shut up dude! Almost say it'd be an um-vote.

Yeah dude, whatever dude, you shut up. Whatever dude, you shut up dude! Come on dude, back up dude! Dude, I'm hungry, let's order a pizza. Oh pizza sounds so good. Other dudes, back me up here with this dude. Come on dude. Let's go Have you ever thought about like honestly because Chant just took a shit like have you ever thought about like how satisfying a shit is?

All take a shit Dude, so satisfying. Whoa. Is there a better feeling than this for in the human room belt or is it a pretty so dude? Is it the height? What'll you taste our shit, dude? Oh? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, it again. First ten, ten, do it again. Do it again. Who a step outside, dude? Yeah, oh, you wanna go? You wanna go? Oh, oh, thank God, this is, that was awful. How long was that, 10 years? It felt like an eternity, yes.

But thankfully we're back. Yes, 10 years and eternity. If you were a dog, you would know it was much less than 10 years. Is it eternity 10 years? Wow, I got to get on prektalk and like let these people know what it's like to walk 10 miles in your shoes or any man my heart goes out to you. Look, I don't even know what it's like to walk 10 miles in my shoes. Arnie, I just saw a long way to walk.

Arnie, I think on behalf of Yusur and I, sorry I'm getting emotional, I just want to apologize. I had no idea the burden it was to be a human. Kind of. Look, it's not a burden to be a human, it's just different. You're just not used to it. Your world isn't designed for the kind of mental experience that I have. That's all it is. It was all familiar to us. It that I have. That's all it is.

It was all familiar to us. It was all familiar. That's right. We didn't learn the lesson from earlier, Chant, we shouldn't think of it as wrong or incorrect. We should think of it as unfamiliar, even though it sucked so bad. It was so limiting. It was so, and you know, what the overwhelming sensation was,

was that I was actually believing that all of it was real. Yeah, not bad, unfamiliar. Chuchu's chow guy shut down because the food was unfamiliar. I like this. Bad is now unfamiliar. It's a good way to go to the world.

But guys, look, just because I'm not like you doesn't mean I'm neurotypical. like like I'm high-world as an improviser there's no way I'm neuro-typical oh wow improv is amazing I don't know how y'all do that you know about it or already on earth does improv well I did for a brief time back when improv was the thing. Oh, is it something that you can lose? Like, do you, is it something where, oh really? Oh yeah, I get the sense that the general archa being

an improviser is pretty quickly. You're like, I used to be pretty good at that. What happened? Yes, but it could probably stick around. No, it couldn't, let's take a break. So, um, Val, I still love to know more about you. You're so young, seeming. I don't know how old you are. I don't want to make any assumptions. I'm 14. 14. You just see? Yeah. Pretty wise. Certainly.

Oh, smart of any of us here at the table. How dare you? Yeah, I feel um, it's definitely not my first time around, but it's not my last time either. At my this journey and my soul still has a ways to go. Oh, I understand that. I used to be a Samaritan, Jellic Bean, who then the goddesses demanded come to food and become a champion to protect the innocent people from all the forces of evil. So I give you a talk about. Damn, sometimes I forget what a unfamiliar ass you are

Then that's a good thing you said or I was gonna ask you and I forgive me if this is too personal a question with you Being a ghost right now and all but I was gonna ask you if like maybe I could possibly do a report on you for ghost history month Oh, I would be honored if you would do that Yes, I ghost history is very important and if you would like to write a report about me and my many feats in life and my great accomplishments is the premier wizard of food who defeated the dark lord I would be honored. Congratulations on that man. By the way, I should have thanked you from the top. That's really something else. Well, you know, also Chutney were involved a little bit like we helped kill the Dark Lord. Yeah, I don't want to. Yeah. That's amazing. That's so cool. They did help.

Did you get away unscathed or you know, do you have like a I lost a finger? She finger see? Is that right? Yeah. Wow. Oh, that looks cool. Oh, thank you so much. Don't remember that. Yeah. Onnie, do you have any scars or anything from your battles with the Dark Lord that uh... Well, I know when you fight something like the Dark Lord, does anyone really ever leave unscathed? Wow.

But nothing specific. Yeah. Just like the general. Oh, you know, probably like, ah, who knows. Yeah, you told me afterwards you were a fun scape. Yeah, I was. I had a scar that I still enjoy. When you say you have a report to about ghosts,

can I ask you're going through school sounds like, what do you want to be when you grow up? A fairy man. I want to, I want to, I want to captain, I want to pilot and captain the fairy. I want to take I want to, I want to captain, I want to pilot and captain the ferry. I want to take people to their destination across a body of water for a coin or two. Imagine the people I could have conversations with. Imagine the exposure I would have to the types of beings, and creatures, and ways of seeing the world out there.

There's different umfals if you will that, you know, I could be exposed to. You will, that's cool. Yeah, so I feel like I'm living up to my name in terms of like just really wanting to understand the experience of my fellow creatures. And like for instance, just experiencing Arnie Zoom felt no matter how unfamiliar and painful and sad it was. Yeah, I almost felt like the crush of late stage capitalism just really kind of like boring down on me and also it was boring. Yeah, very boring. There was a point it was so boring that I we were talking about the NFL and then I thought about the William Perry

refrigerator, Perry, G.I. Joe action figure. Oh yeah. Wow. Fun fact about Arnie, he's never had an unfamiliar hair day. Is that right? Oh, also guys, we forgot to say unfamiliar boys for life. Oh shoot. We'll get it next.

We'll do it twice and next we'll get it next time. So Umfeld, you talked about a report on ghosts. You want to be a fairy man, which is so cool. It sounds like maybe, do you want to help people cross a literal body of water, or if you're working with ghosts, do you want to help carry people to the spirit realm? Definitely to the spirit realm as well. I would like to work with people

who's Umvell requires them to stay in the physical land of food, but also I would like to be able to fairy people like I would take I could I've already a couple times I've gone back and forth on my own to the Yeh havens. Oh have you been to the Yeh havens? It's a no spiritual realm. Yeah. Oh, yeah. I've been there. It's nice Sounds so cool. I just Brian the ferryman who I think works on the rocksy shores But that's not a spirit realm. Yeah. Also, I have like personal goals.

I would like to be able to do pull-ups. Yeah, I'm on my way to full pull-up. Well, you've got a lot of tentacles. I think I would help. I want to be able to do both. I want to be able to like declify it and also just then use my regular arms to be able to do both. I want to be able to like decalify it and also just then use my regular arms to be able to do it in both ways.

So, umph, that brings up a question I've had. Does your human body experience squid things or I just don't understand? Yeah, it's all connected. It's really hard for I think you to understand because of the limitations of your you only have five senses and you live in three dimensions. This is what I've been saying. So think about it like this. Like so you're applying your limitations of your perceptions and the language that you speak frankly to try to understand something that's outside of your language and outside of your info. So, like, if you think about this, like, um, have you ever played, have you ever played Billiards or Poole? Or, I don't know, you call it. What's that?

Probably. I think I played Poole, but not Billiards. I think maybe I accidentally played Billiards once. Not real, like, what is wrong with this pool table? Well, like, what's that triangle called that you put all the balls in to make them go into a triangle shape when they're all together? I think it's the rack. Just rack up? Yeah, for instance. Okay, like, so let's say, I'm sure that Chant felt this when he was allocating a few minutes ago, but like, basically, if you held one of those

triangles from a billiard stable and held it underwater behind a dolphin's back mind you and it never saw that triangle, but it felt it in the water and then you had the dolphin be like come over here come over here and then you showed it a series of like flat visual images and say which one of those shapes did you hear it would immediately pick out the triangle and it's hard for you. It can't be true. Let me shift it to a fine body.

Bad wings, dog head. Shave your back. No, give me a second. I hate it. I hate it so much. It feels awful. Sorry, sorry, you were saying. It's a bad on a bat, if you ask me.

Well, it's basically like saying it's a bad on a bat if you ask me. Well, it's basically like it's hard for you because I think humans also have a hard time with just body-mind connection in general. Like you dissociate a lot from your body and live in your intellect sometimes and your body ends up storing a bunch of stuff that you're just keeping it there to not look at it or whatever. I don't really have that because I have a a body, mind, connection where not only do I have multiple brains inside all of my legs and those are communicating with a central brain, but it's not even like there is a central brain, like all of the brains are equal, there aren't lesser brains, but that's also working with my human body that's on the bottom of my squid head. And so there's, it's like a multi-process, very sophisticated thing that's happening. It's probably really hard for you as a human, especially since you're probably already dissociated

from your human body just simply, because it's been hard for you to feel the emotional feelings that have arisen in your body, because there isn't like space held for you on Earth. I don't think for you to be able to do things like grieve, or have a broken heart or whatever. You're basically the way you behave never matches the way you feel. Like if you lose a friend, you might be like screaming inside, but the way you're acting

on the outside is with a stiff upper lip. Like basically I'm never going to be like that. So it's just really hard. Within the limitations of the English language, which I'm only using with you right now, so that you understand me. I think probably, John and I used to do our both, like they're listening to the other languages. I'm simultaneously speaking and I'm also like.

Absolutely. Right, so Arnie, another way to think about it is, you know, if I peel back my fingernail here, you can see one of my other wizard brains here in the tip of my finger. And I've got thousands of those all over the place So you know, it's just a part of how I generate magic and Thousands of brains little tiny ones everywhere. So what's your excuse?

Yeah, and Ornie if I rip off a face and grow and back and then rip that off and grow back and I hold up two faces next to my middle face Can't talk at the same time. Oh. I love that. Oh, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I just got to clean this up really quick. Sorry, I did that.

Sorry. That's okay. That's okay. And so fairies, is that like a trade school thing? You got to learn about boats and oars and things. Yeah, there's a union. Yeah. You know, the boats are pretty. it's like a very elementary process.

A boat, you know, basically is just copying a duck's body, you know what I mean? And it's like, obviously, you know, like, you can tell that like, men on earth just like looked at a duck and they were like, oh, okay. And then they, you know, and our boats are similar, you know, essentially like basically treating the water the same way an airplane treats the air, you know what I mean? Same way, hawk wings treat the air. Sure.

Arnie, I, you know how you told me all about airplanes. I sold that knowledge to some of the local universities. Oh, no, chunt. I just thought they should know about it. I barely understood what I was saying. It's fascinating. Some people are going to die. No, they opened an airport in Skar.

It didn't go well. They tried to build one airplane, but now it's just filled with dragons. Funded by Pian Dusk. So are you going to um you're 14 you're I assume you're currently in um in law Oh what's the details you buried the lead Oh yeah

Full is I'm in love Oh Congratulations Um you know No wonder you're seeing all kinds of crazy colors. You're in love! Oh, you're in love! Yeah, do you see colors too in your love?

Sure. Yeah. It's um... It's basically... You know, you got the regular like heart palpitations, shortness of breath, thinking about um, like multiple times a day You know try try trying trying to craft poetry Poetry

Poetry, did you say poetry? Yeah, do you prefer pussy or is that poetry in the water? Yeah, yeah, can we hear some policy? Yeah Arnie, this is what it sounds like to speak underwater if you could perceive that Arnie that was a very beautiful Policy incredible. I've basically said what lips my lips have kissed and where and why I have forgotten Well arms have lain under my head until the morning, but the rain is full of ghosts and I, oh, like you used to do, the tap upon the glass and listen for a reply. It went on and on and on.

And that's basically what you said. Now, may I prefer the underwater version? Well, the underwater version's never gonna rhyme, but like I think it's actually like more sophisticated poetry doesn't rhyme so yeah already what rhymes is Shit, okay, all right. You're right. I'm like he said but hold but anyway I'm real quick user to her not to like ask you two personal question, but like no real quick. What kind of ghost are you? Oh, real quick, what kind of ghost are you? Oh, you know, I'm an unsettled spirit, because I still have business here in Foo. Ah. Yes, so, you know, not quite a poltergeist, I'm not, you know, around a cause treble.

Eventually I'll, I'll, you know, finish what I was meant meant to do and then I will be at my final piece Um, well are you I mean I know your options are limited But are you gonna go to the or regional university or are you definitely? I mean I have plans for that like if I can get a scholarship you know what I mean I might have to like do do some extra applications stuff like that You know that's good. It's tough to be like am I gonna go to or you or are you you know? definitely You know and I thought you were saying I'm sorry. I'm sorry to interrupt zoom belt

But I thought you were saying or Like for a fairy are you going to or university? Yes exactly. Okay, great, sorry, sorry, sorry, I did it around. And for the most part, I'm just, it's not convenient to fall in love right now to be honest with you fellas, because I don't want that to affect my decision about where to go, you know,

there are a lot of clams in the sea and whatnot, you know. You know, it's hard once what it wants. That is assuming that. I know. It's hard once what it wants. That is assuming that. I know. This particular claim that I, that has really like snatched the strings of this heart. Do you know what that adds to the claim? There's, there's, I mean, they have like two in the ink

and one in the ink. Thousand different eyes, you know, all along their ridge. And you know, I was like, so they're like, my eyes are up here and over here and over there. All the time, I get so sick of it. I'm like, where do I look? You know what I mean?

What is cool? It's cool. It's gonna be hard being a shape shifter and having been many noticable creatures. It's gonna be hard to date a clam since they're always kind of, well the ones I know are usually propelling backwards. So it seems like they're always making you chase them or kind of one shell out the door, playing games. Yes. Yeah. Squid games. Yeah. Well, clam game. But, um, like, well,

I'm sure Arnie knows about this, like Arnie, do you ever like backwards skated at a roller rink? Not well, but yeah. Well, you'd ruin that roller rink. You should be like skating on a pond. That's kind of what it's like to try to like dance with a clamp, you know? They're just skating backwards, you know?

And I just keep propelling myself forward, which is easy to do. I got eight legs and two tentacles, you know, I mean, so they can back up and back up all they want. I just keep a asking for consent to move forward and be moving forward. My mom has been really into the whole consent thing, man. Really into consent. And I, you know, I used to always be like, I don't know what you're talking about. And she just is like, you know, ask, ask, ask, ask. Now, may I ask, does this particular clam

that you have your mini senses on have a name? Because they'd be lovely to have you back on the show sometime and maybe have them with you. Yeah, do you know Sublime? It's them. Sublime the clan? Yeah. Oh yeah.

Yeah, it's Sublime. Oh, that's a bit of a jam clam, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, I think, you know, pretty 90s, you know, got a lot of life. You never wears a shirt, up-tatted out, stuff like that. But kind of like, happy, catchy. You're where, man, you know? Very catchy. Now, I've only heard, I guess,

I guess I only have heard of them once. Just kind of a one, the one time, the one thing. Just a one here, one here. One here wonder. Yeah, and I wonder why that is. I'm sure they have, I'm sure I should have heard of them more. But I could introduce you, I could like, I'll send you some stuff when we get off of here.

I'll, I'll, I'll, please. Do, what, do I have your ball? What's your ball? What's your name on the ball? I'm trying to stay off the ball I have heard of the I have heard of them one other time Maybe this was them is there like dogs barking before? Okay, then I've heard it twice. Oh wait. No, you might be thinking of um you might be thinking like No, you might be thinking of, you might be thinking of like,

I bet it cost dealing. I was, when I was five, that's on the thing here. That's all I was doing. I didn't do a stainless. Is that sublime? No. Once again, you know what it is. Chann's thinking about a porno that he watched. Oh, really?

Chann, are you into porno? I mean, you know, okay, listen, sometimes you're on your ball, right? And you hold your ball for a little too long, and then you get excited, and you like, well, what else is on here, right? And so you're just gonna poke around on the ball. And things come up,

it's not like you were searching for it, but if something comes up, I'm gonna watch it. And then dogs barking, I'm like, well, they know what time it is. It's born time. Yeah, yeah. Oh wait, was that Jane's addiction? Yeah, do you know that clam?

Jane's addiction is not a bad clam. Well, it's been wonderful having you on, Oonveld. And I hope that you come back and visit us again. And I hope that things continue to go well with sublime. And I hope that things go well at a very trade school for you. Thank you so much. And I'll be in touch so that I can use you for my report. I mean, this might be like the thesis I get to graduate on.

So yeah, no pressure, but it's pretty cool to be in tight with the ghosts, you know what I mean? Well, also you could get a, if you need a letter of recommendation to get into school, I think, Arnie, as the greatest warrior in food, that'd be pretty impressive. Oh yeah, Arnie would, I mean, I know asking for a letter of a wreck is like asking somebody to do like a half day of work

for you for nothing, but. No, I won't spend that much time on it. Yeah. If you need one, I mean, I can just give you some key words and you could put it in a high, really. How about you write it in an Arnie will sign it. Well, you know what? You sign it and I'll just, I'll look it over. I'll give it a thumbs up.

Okay. Cool. I'll put your thumb print on it. That'd be cool. Even better. Well, I'll give it a thumbs up. Arnie you blinked twice. See you that's not that wasn't so unfamiliar. You just have to ask. It never hurts to ask. And Arnie thank you so much for letting us walk a few miles in your shoes man and I feel like it really helped us have a greater understanding

of like the sensory experience you're having moving through, you know, I don't know, your world, our world. Also, I did just want to ask, Shawn, when you were echolocating, were you looking at our organs and skeletons? Because that's kind of intumous. I got to be honest, I tried not to, but I just couldn't. I couldn't help, but stare right at you, Sennor's thumbs. He has so many brains, just stacked on brains, on brains, on brains, on brains. All the way down, my spleen! I would like to taste one of your brains to be honest,

dude. Taste a thumb brain on my way out. Sure, yeah, I'll just rub it on your skin here. This is getting weird. Oh, wow. Oh, wow. I just I'll just rub it on your skin here. Oh Wow, oh wow, I like it Hey, I like it. There's like an elderberry or like a juniper. What is that? It's almost it's almost gin like or some yes, it's soaked in gin for sure Nice. Taste the brain. Wasn't that a discarded slogan for Mountain Dew Code Red,

which I still think was an ingenious grassroots marketing campaign for a few good men. Use it or the wizard was played by Math Young. Chant the Talking Badger was played by Adolfi. Umveilt, the squid kid, was played by special guest Holly Laurent. Learn more about Holly at HollyLorrent.com. And listen to Mega, her beloved improv comedy podcast set in a mega-church. To learn more, visit megathepodcast.com and check out their upcoming live show in LA, Friday, March 17th at Dynasty typewriter.

Hello from the Magic Tavern is an independent production, made possible by supporters of the Magic Tavern Patreon. Tiny, childlike beings like all the people living on that dandelion that only the elephant could hear. I'm talking about people like Dan Coffee, parentheses, son of Billy Yum Yum 2 by 2. Oh, here we go. No one can just enter their name, put a Google form in front of someone and they turn into James Joyce. Okay. Troy thick thighs.

No lie there, folks. I've seen those thighs and we are talking red woods. Christopher Tauler. Dave Etchinson. parentheses sounds like etch-a-sketch. I got it, Dave. Ray Holy the Third. J.R. Henderson, Chelsea M.

Jeff Baker, Bridget Porter, Aaron Navage rhymes with Savage. Bimey Akak-Tail and try not to ravage. Padric Calmley, Taylor Williams, and Thunka-Saurus Rex. How do those tiny arms reach the turntables? Patrons get a seemingly inordinate amount of time spent on their names during this broadcast,

as well as ad-free episodes, the entire back catalog including all the previous spin-offs, and at least two new bonus episodes each month. Last week's patron only exclusive was episode 2 of Shadow City, a heist in a gritty superhero world, DMed by Anthony Birch of Dungeons and Daddies. People seem to really love episode 1, well, people say a lot of things. But here's a clip from episode 2. Alright, roll deception. You're acting big for the guy who's watching the security cameras. Alright, I got an 8.

Okay. So, uh, I'm not going to say whether that that succeeded or failed, because it's a person that's not on the scene who's watching you. I wouldn't be confident if I were you, but um... The good thing about a crusher full of confidence. Great. I sort of roll my eyes and be like, all right, come on, throw the ball, taking him is my hostage. But clearly a little annoyed. Great, so you put on the elevator down a couple floors and it spits you out and it's basically

into a long lobby leading to a big ass, Batman ass safe. Just a big old bunch of tumblers, big old fucking thing you'd grab like a ship steering wheel and open. And on the hallway between you and that, there's little door that leads off to the side and standing in the doorway, holding a rifle at the open elevator door is a guard with an M16. And I'm gonna go ahead and roll and see if you even got the right kind of guard costume.

Yes, not even close. The color's already right. You got a sexy guard costume from Scarol Haul. I accidentally got a Guardians of the Galaxy costume. Yeah, you're just dressed like Groot. Fan art, please. The thing about Clips is they end. To hear the rest of that episode and learn more about supporting the show, visit patreon.com

slash magic tavern. Hello from the Magic Tavern is produced by Arneene Camp, Matt Young and Adel Ruffiah. Post-production coordination by Garrett Schultz. This episode edited by Chris Rathchin. Hello from the Magic Tavern logo by Allard Leban. Magic Tavern theme by Andy Poland. By the end this podcast is gonna be all Patreon names, I know it. I just try to keep up the pace.

Quite effective, Tim. Well done. Tim, yes, thank you. But director, Ward, where are we going with this? I'm glad you asked. We've kept Hank at bay. Now it's time to go on the offensive. This will be tricky Tim, but when we're done, the universe will be secure. I just need you to do one thing. Sure, anything. See this book I'm holding? I just need you to throw it away. That looks like a library book.

It is. Just take it from my hand and drop it in the trash. Well, it is John Grisham's the partner, no one's gonna miss it, but I don't know. It's the only way Tim. It just seems wrong. We're supposed to return library books. Of course you are Tim, normally. But what's more important, your tiny limited sense of right and wrong, or the universe?

I'll, uh, I'll trash the book. Very good Tim. Very, very good. Not today, plucky Southern lawyer. Are there any famous clams on earth? Clam cook? Oh, yeah. That's, I think I've heard a clam cook.

That's a vibe. Clam cook. a clam cook. That's a vibe. Clam cook, so. Also, clam jam, clam margarita. Or just a band of fish, they suck.