Hello From The Magic Tavern - Season 4, Ep 75 - Broken Mirror (w/ Niccole Thurman)

Episode Date: May 22, 2023

Mira Mirror returns and shares some hard-learned life lessons.CreditsArnie: Arnie NiekampUsidore: Matt YoungChunt: Adal RifaiMira Mirror: Niccole ThurmanMysterious Man: Tim SniffenDirector Ward: Shane WilsonTricia: Kate JamesCraig: Ryan DiGiorgiProducers: Arnie Niekamp, Matt Young, and Adal RifaiAssociate Producer: Anna HavermannPost-Production Coordination: Garrett SchultzEditor: Sage G.C.Magic Tavern Logo: Allard LabanTheme Music: Andy PolandYou can support the show directly and receive bonus episodes and rewards by joining our Patreon at https://www.patreon.com/magictavern for only $5 per month. Follow us on Twitter and Instagram, and now Patreon!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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I wanted to enact my plan without anyone noticing, so this is most inconvenience. Oh God, Ward is out of the closet! Like, uh, uh, oh, like Elizabeth Warren? Uh, what? I was trying to start a rumor, did I pick a good name? No. You picked a better name than Tim Sniffen. Said goodbye to that identity, have we? I can't believe you trapped me in some all-encompassing illusion.

You were like the Mysterio to my Spider-Man. Don't flatter yourself. I was like the Mysterio to your third man from right on Tower Bridge. Well he's not vulnerable to your illusions anymore. No. No he's not. But what about you, Trisha? In turn and Tony Award winner?

What? Oh my god. What? I can't believe this. Oh, thank you so much. Wow, this really is heavy. I want to thank the Academy. Oh, wait, the Academy doesn't do this one.

Anyway, when I first joined King Kong the musical, I had never worked with hydraulics before. The King Kong musical, Ward, you are sick. Don't worry, sir, I'm still here. Yes, as for you, Craig, enjoy your trip to, uh, time to become up. What is your deal anyway? Exactly. You didn't plan for the fact that I have no greater ambitions. Very well. There are other situations I can conjure.

I've been crushed under this piano! No, Craig, it's in your mind! I still remember the third-grade talent show where my gift first manifested. Is this acceptance speech too long? Craig can't hear you, and the pain is real when you believe it's real. Is that the crossfit motto? Possibly.

Now, do you see? I've taken everything from you. Everything? You've taken two of the recurring guest stars. That's like saying you've destroyed three's company by killing Larry in the couch. If they're so meaningless to you, then why don't you walk away? I... find. What do you want? Do the thing. Then I'll tell you.

People of Earth, my apologies that you've been subjected to a delusional, unneuanced impersonation of myself by myself for the last few months. Needless to say, that case of Crystal Pepsi has been tossed into the ocean, and framing device Classic is back to remind you that the following podcast is not real, and to sit back and enjoy the show. Hello from the Magic Tavern! A weekly podcast from the magical land of Foon. I'm your host Arnie E. Camp. If you've never listened to the podcast before, this is everything you need to know. Eight years and two months ago, I fell through a dimensional portal behind a Burger King in Chicago into the magical fantastical

land of fun. Luckily, I'm still getting a Wi-Fi signal from the Burger King through the dimensional rift, and I used that to upload a podcast recorded here in the tavern, the strange familiar, in the town of Nibblebottom, at the base of the innable mountain in the magical land of Foon. And I'm joined, as always, by my co-host, Chenthe Talking Badger. I bet you're fun at parties. Oh, well, I imagine I am as well. Oh, no, sorry, Arnie, it's meant to be, I think it's meant to be like a bird.

Oh, I've been on, you know how I get to use your phone a few times a week. Yeah, you have a limited screen time. Exactly. But thank you so much, Daddy. I've been on Twitter and I just see a lot of people. How's it doing, by the way? How's Twitter doing?

Oh, it's not, it's weird. Arnie, it's so weird. But the two things I see written the most are in the context. But here's my question, structurally sound. Does it seem structurally sound to you? It seems precariously perched upon a stack of straws. Okay, I'm no tech whiz, so I don't know if that's good or bad. But as I was saying, there's two phrases I see so often out.

The first one is the aforementioned, I bet your front-end parties, which I see in the comment section constantly, when anyone says anything they disagree with. And then the other one I see all the time is, and I don't know what this means, shut it all down. Huh. Arnie, what does that mean? Shut it all down, I'm sorry. Shut it all down. shut it all down.

I used to say that. I bet you're fun at parties. I used to say the shut it all down thing. Uh, what I, who was the chef at Chuchu's Chow. I'd go and I go shut it down. And we would turn off everything. And then you sir would be like kidding. And we'd have, it would take so long to restart the fires

and remodivate the cooks and Refreshing the shut it all so you're saying every night at the end of the night You're like just shutting the entire plate like like as if it was closing forever Well many of the sous chefs were a children and I would scream at them from doing a terrible job I bet you're fun at parties. See how that works already. See I do Anything it works against anything. It works against anything. Well, here, let me really quick, I don't normally do this because I like the present during the show, but I'm gonna, I'm gonna just look at Twitter for a second here

and see, pull a new catchphrase for myself. Oh, here's what I'm seeing a lot of. Go ahead and cry about it. Oh, um, go ahead and cry about it. Oh. Go ahead and cry about it. I guess I should also do it if everyone else is here. Hand the phone to me. This content generated by AI. Okay, now let's just that I believe. Let's all do our thing in a row here.

So I'll start. I bet your fun at parties Go cry about it. This content was generated by AI. Shut it all down. Huh. It kind of has a fun ring to it. Yeah Ah, honey quick Introduce me. Oh, I'm so sorry. I am also joined by my other co-host you said or the wizard. I am you said all Wizard of the twelfth real a fesiest master of life. Still alive. Miniculator of magical light,

Stapaller of chaos, champion of the great halls of Trockus. Known to the elves as fying Alec, Known to the dwarves as Dunin and Hookstangies, And known throughout the north-east as Gast-Mueneus Maystar, And there may be other secret names, Names of such great power and portent, But if air, they were uttered aloud clouds Dark stormy clouds would fill the sky and soon rain would

flood the streets as lightning crashed down and and everyone Went inside It's giving magic. That's right. That's also something I saw. And I also saw a chunt, his daddy. No. But that's just you. Arnie, am I getting old? Or is it just like the Earth-Foon disconnect? I don't understand these phrases.

I mean, I understand Larch please, daddy. Sure. That'll say till I die, but it's just, there's so much of this. You'll say that till you die. So there's a decent chance that those will be your last words, like on your deathbed. Well, yeah, that's not- I-I-I think if there's a high likelihood that that will be the last thing we hear Trump say, yes.

Yeah, I put money on it. Mmm, okay. Smothered to death. And his last words were large, please, Daddy. At Chant, it's not your fault, you're just a boomer. What is that? You have that big hammer, that big war hammer. Oh, yes, it goes boom when I smack it.

Yeah, I guess you're right. And you start your sort of a generation ax. Of course, you have that little hatchet on your belt that you like to use, so. I love to throw a little hatchet. Ah, okay. And Arnie, what are you giving? Sort of a willenium. giving sort of a willenium?

You know about the willenium? Sure, yeah. It happened here in Fune, and I wanna say 1998 or 99. Wow. It's about 40,000 years ago. That's all I was talking about. Yeah, that's a long time ago, based on how years work.

You said, or I need to ask you this without any forewarning, but what year is it currently in Foon again? Oh, you know they answer that question. I feel embarrassed to even attempt to answer such a thing. Seems like you're stalling for time. How dare you suggest such a thing. Everybody knows that it's the year 48245. Of course. So Ernie with this millennium, it was, you know, people had, we're trying to practice willpower, but they all caved and gave in to this party in the city when the heat was on. So everybody went to the city and the heat was on. And they all burned down. So it was just as terrible, you know, just to turn it on. Hmm, sounds it. I think that was in the city of, I wanna say it was meami.

Is that right? Meami? Meami? I don't know. Meami? I forget the name. It's in a history book, sorry, it's in a history book. Oh, I believe it.

I'm mature, fun, I promise. Arning, how are you doing? What's new with you? Do we have a guest today? No, I don't. I, you know, I've been still having a little bit of tummy troubles, especially after that spicy curry. Fear not.

Yeah, for a use at all, as brought a guest today. Ooh. That was very presumptuous of you. Yes, it was. Like, what have I had a guest? Then they would get bumped. Mine? Yeah.

Okay, what? I would pull Wizard rank. Ah, Ahni, I out a guest. Then they would get bumped. Mine? Yeah. Okay. Well, I would pull Wizard rank. Ah, Ahni, I outrank you. You outrank me? I'm the greatest warrior in all of Thun. I am the Wizard who killed the Dark Lord. Shut it all down. Ahni, I see you have a bowl of raisins down unless that bowl of raisins is the guest.

Let's let you store, uh, introduce his guest, okay? I'm gonna eat these raisins. I hope that wasn't the guest. Shunt, this is going to be very exciting. We're having a guest, a returning guest on the show. Oh my gosh. But a guest who has never met Arnie before, what do you think about that? What?

Whoa, is it a fancy little fun? No, we, we're a fancy little fun. Is it a getting nuts guest? It's not someone from getting nuts at someone from Hello from that. I'm I was walking through the forest And I Stumbled upon our old friend Mira Mira. Oh Hello, hello. I'm back. It's so lovely to be here again. Oh my god. It's mirror mirror. It's so wonderful to see you It's so wonderful to see you chant you look wonderful

How have you been? Wonderful I think for the most part there's been some ups and downs, but for the most part wonderful you look you look look at you I know it's I don't look great. It's it's all right. You don't have to tell me I look great Oh, it's fine. Okay. Well, I mean, it has been a few years, and a lot has happened, we'd love to catch up with you, but when last time you were here, there was an imposter Arnie here, and you never met our good friend.

This is the real Arnie. Hi, I'm Arnie, I'm from another world. How's the name of you? So nice to meet you as well. And you're sure this is the real Arnie. It's not another imposter. Oh That's good. I don't even consider that. It easily could be another imposter. I'm telling you I've been I've seen the world There are dark things out there and dark people. Oh, so you never know who you're quite going to meet

So last time there was a pasta version of me. No, and imposter So last time there was a pasta version of me? No, an imposter. Imposter. But, sorry, it's my accent. Imposter. Imposter. Oh. Anyway, that's me not using an accent, but I'm trying to use my, this is my real accent.

I'm very posh, you see. So it's the imposter, you see? Oh, imposter. Yes. Chut, chut, chut, chut real quick. Poke audience, see if it's the real him. Okay, let me lift up the front of his shirt and poke him right in the belly button and hopefully he makes the sound I know in love. Yep, that's him.

Okay. Maybe try pulling the top of his head just to double check. Oh, good call, let me, uh... Yeah. Yeah, not going anywhere. Yeah. Okay, now keep pulling the hair, but put a chef's hat over on you. So you just sit up there and see if you can move him around.

Okay, I'm about to step half way. Whoa, okay, grab some raisins and put them on the mouth, and let's, okay. But what in his belly button, that would be funny. Where's my money? I'm not funny. You're never getting that raisin back, if you put a one in my belly button.

I love this game, it's really quite fun. So you are the real Arnie, it seems that he is the Rilani. Well, it seems he is, but I'm sure we'll check in again on him later in this episode. I think that's not. Yes. I just thought of a word, chantatouille. What would that be? Chantatouille? Well, I don't quite know. I'm chant, I have two buttholes, so that's chon

too. And then I'm being kind of screwy when I'm under Arnie's hat, so I guess that's just a it's not a portman too, because there's three words it's a throat man too. I like it. Oh, thank you. Very good. Mira, thank you so much. So can I just say it seems like you still have legs? I do, yes. They're a bit tired these days. From all the walking I've been doing,

I've gotten really good at complaining since I've been out in the wild. Good, good, you're getting acclimated. I'm getting out of the thing. I'm getting out of the thing. Arms and hands are best I can tell. I've got the arms and the hands, yes. They're still there.

Yes, I've for a while, I wasn't sure if they were still there, but then I accidentally hit myself the other day and I was like, yes, that's still an arm and a hand. Yeah, I was going to say, it looks like I don't know if you hit yourself or what happened. It seems like, we'll talk to us about the mirror part. It seems like, oh, well, okay well okay well that's quite embarrassing really I had a bit of an accident not too long ago um let's just say it involves a carousel a wagon wheel um angry horse and two swells oh that sounds awful this has incredible I'm glad to hear that you're here and alive with us at all. Yes, I'm really quite surprised that I'm here at all, especially because now that I've lived through this experience,

it's wild that I would go back to where I was a few years ago. But you know, sometimes it's just nice to check on hold friends. Well, it's wonderful to hear from you as well. I'm just hoping that the gift that my magic gave you to be pramulatory has led to some happiness in your life and some new experiences at the very least. Yes, yes. I've ambulated all over this country, I've ambulated all over the mountains and the hillsides

and the ditches and the ponds and you know some of it's been painful, some of it's been beautiful, some of it's been love and some hate I would say. But I'm fine, I'm really quite fine, no. Do you mind just one second? I don't mean to be rude, I just need to talk to you, Siddharth, for one second. Oh sure, not at all. You're Siddharth. Yusador, who are you? Who are you?

I'm Arnie. Yeah, ask me a question only. I would know the answer, too. What's two plus eight? I don't know. That's you. Yeah. Yusador, I'm just making sure because I was not here last time, but I want to, I think

I'm getting a lot of it through context clues. Right. last time, but I want it, I think I'm getting a lot of it through context clues. There's a magic mirror that you, because this is just a thing you do, you just decide to magically change people, you magically change a magic mirror to kind of decide to do that. It's my whole purpose. Yes. Can I interrupt for just one minute? Please.

Because you two are talking quite loudly. Yeah, I have, I don't have an inside voice. It's all right. I've got very strong ears that I Yeah, I don't have an inside voice. It's alright, I've got very strong ears that I stole from a dwarf somewhere. It's not that I wanted to have the arms in the legs. It's all I wanted in the world was just to be my own thing. And then you said always kind enough to give them to me.

Yeah, sorry I'm making everyone's dreams come true. Yes, it's really quite rude of you, Arnie, if that's your real name. It is not. It is not your real name. What's your real name? My real name is Arnold, but I don't like you and people call me that. It's Arnie. Did anyone know if that was his real name?

I did. I'm sorry, am I fucking crazy? There's a story on the table about a carousel, a wagon wheel, two squalls and a horse? And we're just letting it walk by? Well, no one asked me to tell the story! That's what I'm saying! I understand. Ony wants to understand what's going on here. A mirror was working for an evil queen as a enchanted mirror, and then was a good work if you can get it.

Exactly, but got tired of that life, and then was taken away by a magical carpet who true wishes in life, yes, I did give her two legs. Yes, I did give her six arms and then immediately pull four of them off. Yes, I did put a face on the mirror and a head without a face on top of the mirror. Look, I'm just making dreams come true. Why is he- why is he so pacing back and forth like he's in front of a court? But look, one more thing. One more thing. Yes, I'll allow it. Oh, I'm gonna have anything. Oh, allow it. Oh, I thought you'd have something.

Huh. Yeah, so that's what we did. He put the face in the middle of the mirror, the head on top of the mirror. It didn't make sense, but I liked it, because it was revolutionary. It was ingenious. It was just what I got, you know?

And so you just take it. Right, and part of the spell was digging deep into Mirror's personal, long-standing wishes for what she would look like, so I just helped bring that to the surface. Then she met a guy and took some of my money. Oh yeah. As one does, you know, I mean, what am I supposed to do, hang out with you three? Oh no! We're fun, we're fun.

You're fun, you do seem very nice. Fun at parties, fun at parties. Well, why don't we take a quick break? And when we come back, we'll hear about what you got up to with that guy last time we saw you. We don't wanna hear about the horse, the squirrel. Well, I do it! And what else is to be dropping it?

I just, I, I just, I do it. And what else is to be dropping it? I just say... So, Mira, I wasn't here last time. So, I apologize if I say or ask anything, there would be a repetition of what my imposter said. But you have a face in the mirror in the middle of you. Do you ever say things like, hey, my eyes are down here. Now, why would I say that? Is that some kind of saying that people say somewhere? Just because I don't know if people aren't sure if they should talk to your blank face or your mirror or your face and your body.

Oh, I'll listen. I'm new to having a body, so yes, I do tell people often that my face is down here, but as you'll see, there is quite a crack in it. There's a crack in the middle of my face. I'm trying to tell you a dramatic story, but no one wants to hear it. Oh, no, I'd love to hear it. There's a crack in the middle of my face from the carousel the wagon meal to Hort to Squirrels and Horts. Yes, that's what they yet get. Let's get to it. Yes. Alright, please, Mara. Tell us what transpired.

Well, I was so excited about my beautiful face and my new man and used to doors money that I was running and we were just having a lovely time together me in this man. But then I found out he was a troll, a literal troll. Oh, no. I sort of known it by the nose, the short stature and bad attitude, but I make bad choices when it comes to men, you know? Sure, I think we can all relate to that. I mean, that was the first time though, right? That was the first time with a man, yes.

You always get tricked around the first time, right? That's what they say, right? The first time is the you always get tricked around the first time right that's what they say right the first time is the time you get tricked there is a danger of that certainly what tipped you off did he take you to a bridge or something no well it was just it seemed so wonderful at first he was always complimenting me telling me I was the fairest in the land and you know I love to hear that because I was used to saying it right. Exactly. And so I loved it. I said, oh, that's what I used to say, but how you're saying it to me and I love that. And I'm, you know, once I get a compliment, it's like you can have whatever

you want, just keep complimenting me. So he kept telling me how wonderful I was and we were traveling and we would watch the sunset and rise. We made love. You really don't want to know how you do make love to Amira. It's just quite messy and... It's pretty my suspicions. Yeah, it's okay. We're having a wonderful time, but then I felt that he started to take advantage of me and my talents and my beauty and my perfection, you know? No. Yes. It turns out he was a talent scout.

That rhymed. Yes. He was a talent scout, and he wasn't interested in me. He was only interested in my talents, AKA fire breathing. I learned a new skill with my face. Oh, wow. I thought you were going to say like enchanted mirror predictions or I thought I was going to say that too but fire breathing came out.

That's gotta be incredibly handy for someone made of glass Arnie at urine food things are probably very different from earth. On the beaches or in certain deserts, you walk around on what we call pre-glass. Now pre-glass is these tiny little, almost like rocks and minerals. We also use them to tell time. And when you expose them to fire, they turn into what you see before you. Yes. So you think that I could have fixed the crack at the middle of my face, considering pre-glasses everywhere, I breathed fire, and I could have fixed the crack in the middle of my face considering pre-glasses everywhere, I breathed fire and I could have just stuck it right back on, but I don't know, I'm used to the scars.

I try to embrace them, you know? What's part of your lived experience now, everything that has happened to you up to this point has made you the being that you are today? Yes, and it's quite a good story if anyone ever just wants me to get around to it, you know what I'm saying? If people usually ask me about it right away, and I'm like, that's kind of rude. I do want to hear more of that story, but do you ever know so you have a crack in the mirror in the center of you? Or you ever like, excuse me, my crack is down here. Yeah, so I try, I like to make a joke like,

Oh, do you mind if I show you my crack? And people are like, we can see it, it's right there. And I'm like, okay, well, you ruined my joke, you know. But yeah, it's fun to make little jokes. Olli, I think you might be thinking of Chant. He usually says, my crack is down here. Mm-hmm, yeah. And over there, yeah.

Oh. Now, I really want to hear this story, but first, I think we should check in and see if Arnickson and Paster, anyone have a test in mine. Yes Someone put your lips to his lips and just blow and if his lips if his cheeks puff out He's the real Arnie. Okay. All right. Here I go He's the real Arnie actually I just want to see you to kind of kiss a little bit. Oh

It was kind of sweet. Oh, it's very sweet one. Actually, I just want to see you two kind of kiss a little bit. Oh, it was kind of sweet. That was very sweet. I won't say, buddy. I will say Ernie when your cheeks puffed out, you look like a squirrel. Oh, that reminds me of something. Great segue. Yeah. We forget that squirrel back on the podcast that we had on our Ernie. No two squirrels, a wagon wheel, a carousel, and a horse? How does that sound so familiar? That squirrel was fucking nuts. You know, I want to thank you, John, for kind of, you know, can repeatedly lassoing these two back around to get them into the story. You know, it's quite a story. So there I was, with my talent scout. How many times have we heard this story?

Oh yes. And we were doing a show for all the towns, people in the middle of the square. It's really quite odd because all I do is blow fire out of my face in the middle of the mirror. That's the only part of the show that we would bring. That's the only touring part of the show. Mm-hmm. Oh. How many towns people loved it? Good. Well, that's good. I'm glad they liked it. Uh, yes.

Really feels like it's like a small apart of a big show, though. Like you need like an elephant or something. Yeah, you trapeze act or something. I don't know. Like, yeah. I would say so too. I would say, Arnie, if you could get the um, raisins to pop out of your belly button without trying that mean entertainment. That would be good. Give it a shot, Arnie. I wish I could. I'm telling you, a lifetime of putting raisins in my belly button never has one come back out. I like to. Some people got skills, some people just have raisins in their belly buttons. I'm alright. I don't know. Where's where they're going.

All the raisin cave over here, okay, so, uh, that town show, I'll... So, I'm in the middle of my talent show, which really, the show is only one minute long, because how long can you watch the person, where I'm here, I blow fire out of her face? One minute, yeah. One minute. Um, and all the sudden, from the distance, I hear, I looked over, I saw nothing and then I heard and I didn't hear anything and I didn't know what was going on but it turns out it was two mischievous squirrels having a fight right? Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, What did the horse think? I love trying. Well, or a friend trying. The horse is very diplomatic.

The horse refused to pick a side, which honestly, honestly, it's a little weak. Just pick a side. Who is your best friend? You know? Well, I'll play Divell's advocate here, and I'll say, you know, once you get to a certain age, having a best friend, you know, like, we're all friends,

and those dynamics are different. Like, I'm good friends with are different. I'm good friends with you and I'm good friends with you and I don't want to rank one over the other because I care for both of these people or squirrels. But who do you like better? One of the two, right? Oh, Chant. Okay, thank you, I knew it. Me too.

Yes, you did. You knew, oh, Arna, you like Chant as well. See now you two are the little squirrels chittering about that could be fighting over Chant. I guess so. Chant is the horse. And I'm the horse. Wow. This is really given a new insight to our dynamic. Mirror, thank you so much. And can I just say, let's not stop and think, use please. I got to hear how the carousel and the wagon wheel come into play. Oh, yeah, the carousel, especially. I forgot about the carousel actually. Yes, the carousel part. So then the horse says to the two squirrels, listen you guy, wait, you want to try to do a horse voice?

Let me do a horse voice. Please, please, please. I think so. Oh, listen you guys. I'm not just a horse. I'm a carousel horse. And you've got to ride me if you want to see the best is heard that before and I don't know Why why are they fighting over a carousel horse when they could have a real horse as a friend?

You know now was the horse at that time on the carousel or had it somehow Escaped its confines. It kind of it escaped. It has it has magical carousel powers of course So where you kind of chooses when to as you would say ambulate and move off of the carousel on to you know a hillside Someone's shack, you know, it likes to go to dinner every now and then Sure mirror mirror mirror mirror. I got a no pull pull through the horse of course a horse yeah Those twisty poles yeah Never leave the horses side or the middle actually, you know, honey had a sword through him for quite a while

So you can relate to that right it hurt yeah, you're a sword through you. I did did someone try to see if you were the real Ony by sticking a sword through you. Oh, no, they knew. No, they knew. Yeah, I think they stuck it through me because they knew I was the real party. Wait a minute, come to think of it. I think when that sword went through you, when it came out the other end, there's a bunch of raisins on the end of the blade. That's where they went. I remember scraping them off just being like, where did these raisins come from? Maybe I had to, like, you know, rap poop or something.

I forgot all about that, Arnie. I guess you're free and clear. Except for this new one. This is a new one from today. Put another short three and get you worked out. So, okay, that explains the carousel, amazing. So the carousel, right? You would have thought that the horse was the carousel

and the carousel was the horse. But that's where the story got tricky. So then the horse gets back on the carousel and the carousel was the horse. But that's where the story got tricky. So then the horse gets back on the carousel, puts the two squirrels on top of them and says whoever can ride me the longest on this carousel of death shall be my best friend. And I think that's the most important thing. Oh, carousel of death, self death.

Wow, okay. Slightly rude, right? Like if you don't die, you're my best friend. Like I don't want to just be best friends by staying alive and not dying. This is very similar to the story. I guess it's not a story that actually happened, but in their history books, this was right after the Willenium when people were still recovering. There was two people who were like, that baby is mine. And there was a weird king. and he said, oh, that's both of your babies. Here's what we'll do. Both of you, YouTube Grabets Arms, YouTube Grabets Legs,

talking to the two sets of parents. And he said, and just hold on to it for as long as you can. And whoever's last touching the baby wins a new cart. And so there's two parents who lasted the longest, but they were found out to be false because they just wanted to bring a new cart. See, they were just in it for money, right?

I've heard of this story. Is this a hands-on-heart baby? Well, yeah. I don't like to say it because it's a terrible name. It's the longest story with a terrible name. You never lived with a title for that one. You always give context and then say the title. Because otherwise people...

What was our joy? So it was a difficult choice. Did someone adopt the child? Because wouldn't you just know you were the parents if you were like the mother that birthed the child? Is that too easy? That's too easy. That's what the king said.

He said too easy. That's the thing about kings. They're like, let's make it weird. Yeah. Listen, I worked with a queen for quite some time. Every day, she's pop in front of me and be like, who is this Harris at the mall? And it's like, queen, you could just look at yourself. And no, it's not you.

But they don't do that. So you're right, kings and queens, they're weird. They like to make things difficult. Yes, you mentioned that she was very jealous of her stepdaughter last time you were here. That seemed like a bad dynamic. It was a horrible dynamic. It's like why would the father marry her if she's not even nice to the daughter? I don't understand family dynamics. I'm a mirror with a face, two hands, two legs, you know, all of that. So the carousel of death.

So we've got the carousel. The carousel of death starts spinning, spinning, spinning. The squirrels are chittering, they're throwing nuts at each other, they're screaming, they're screaming, I could hear it from far away and I'm thinking, oh God, as long as something horrific doesn't happen, we should just ignore that because it seems like a lot of drama, you know? Sure, sure.

Right. But next thing I know, one of those stupid squirrels flies off the carousel and you'll never guess what he hit. Oh, how did he know? Oh, I did set it up, didn't I? That was the last ingredient to the story wasn't it? Oh, yes, it was a wagon wheel. Yes, well, you know You kind of took my thunder a little bit, but yeah, it was a wagon wheel Wow

What happened and the wagon wheel rolled down the hill it was a regular Rubigold book I've seen a phone once and it said rubigold book was similar, you know It was a regular rubig. The thing rolled down the hill, smashed right into my face in front of an entire audience of 17 people. It was a disaster. My face was broken. I was knocked out. Couldn't remember who I was.

Oh, oh no. I woke up and I said, Who am I? Where am I? What am I? And then the troll, he lied to me. No, oh fuck. Oh, where will dig deep into these lies? And learn how you were stored your memory right after this break.

right after this break. What a harrowing tale. It was quite a waste. So the troll lied to you and then told you you were somebody else than who you are? Yes, because frankly I think he was getting a little sick of touring around with just a fire-breathing mirror. So he wanted a new act, but he's too lazy. Not a stereotype trolls or anything, because I'm actually the hard worker, right? I want to make that clear. Yes, of course.

I don't want to come on this show and, um, uh, Miss Landa droves, but... Of course not. Of course not. They do all that upkeep on our bridges and they post mean things on bulls and boards. Yeah, not bulls and boards. Brittles, they tell riddles. Some of them tell riddles. Some don't, I assume. I have to assume. And so he wanted me to have a new skill. So when I woke up, I said, what's going on? It's bright. And he said, he said, you're actually you're a bearded lady. And now you're a bearded lady that jumps over gates.

And I was like, what? And he was like, yes, we're at the circus. And you're a bearded lady that jumps over gates. And I was like, that doesn't sound like me. And I don't feel very nimble, but okay. I am absolutely disgusted that he lied to you in this way. I think it is absolutely despicable. But that sounds like a good show. I was gonna say the same thing.

Yeah, I gotta say, Beardgate sounds pretty good, hashtag Beardgate. Now all I wanna see is a bearded lady jump over a gate. And Mirror that had to be hard for you, and I don't know if this is true, but isn't it hard for mirrors to see themselves in each other in terms of you couldn't necessarily look inside yourself

or another mirror to see if you did have a beard. Oh, no, that was the problem. Because first of all, my face was all bandaged up and I couldn't see anything. But the thing is, what you maybe did not know was that the head on top of the mirror can see things so the face was bandaged up. The head on top of it, I went to a mirror and I looked in it

and I was like, I don't see anything. Any time, can I just say, anytime your face is wrapped in bandages, the first thing you gotta do is go mirror, mirror, and put out your hand and wait for someone to give you a mirror so you can see what madness lies beneath. Oh, for like theatrical purposes. Yes, absolutely.

Also, if there were bandages all over the mirror part of you, it might have felt like a beard. True. Oh my God, you're right, that's why I bought it. That's why I bought it. Because I looked in the mirror, I didn't see anything but bandages in a beard. But then I also was like, is that me?

Or is that you? Is that you? I couldn't tell because I was a mirror looking and a beard. But then I also was like, is that me? Or is that you? Is that you? I couldn't tell because, you know, I was a mirror looking into a mirror. And you know how when two mirrors are facing each other, it makes like a thousand mirrors, you know? Right, that's all I'm going to finish. So, to me, it was just a lot of gauzy beards going over

and over and over and over. And so I was like, well, I must be a beard lady. So did you start doing this act? He was proposing then? Oh, yes. And let me tell you something. It took a lot of training to get my stumpy little legs, no offense, you said all. My stumpy little legs that had been given to me by a wizard you said all. None taken by him.

All right, good, thank you. It took me so long to get these stumpy little legs over a gate because they progressively got higher and higher and higher. And I was like, Yeah, that would make, that would be a good way. That would be good for the show.

So you could keep making the gate higher. Merr, if I can stop you just real quick before I forget. Yes. Can I please, I will pay you, I will do you a solid. Is there any way I can have the name that you put forward? I'm not a singer, but if I ever do release an album, I would want to release it under Gazi Beards. Could I have that name that you tossed out?

Listen, if there's one thing I've learned from letting a male troll trick me, it's just keep letting them trick you until you have nothing left in their famous. So yes, absolutely take that. Thank you. Wait, so that troll got famous somehow? Yes, because here I was. It was almost as if I was, at the time I didn't know this, but it was almost as if I was back to being someone's assistant, you know?

Like, when I was a mirror, I worked for someone else, and truly you would think like I actually had more skills of the queen, right? Because of course, yeah, absolutely. I tell people they're fair and never fair, and I'm a man. You're magic, she's not. I was magic, it was in the title of my name. And as I was doing the beard gate, the troll got more and more famous because he would get so excited and I just became, you know, almost a workhorse

but I was more of a work mirror, you know, jumping over gates so people didn't see me for the skills. They didn't come after and congratulate me. They congratulated him for finding me. What the fuck? This is like Elvish all over again. Absolutely, it's really quite sad. And really, the moral of my story right now is always read your contracts. If you have any sense of, like maybe this isn't Gaws, maybe this isn't a beard, maybe this is Gauls. Double check, okay? Yeah, schooling of which we do have a release scroll that we need you to sign just to be on the podcast. A release scroll, all right, well, you're going to sign it,

let me have it, can I see it? Sure, sure. Sorry, it's so long, it's very long. It's very long. Lots of clauses, lots of, you know, I don't want to read this, I'm just gonna sign it, all right? I can't believe that a troll would take advantage of you when you'd lost your memory, and then set up a board and make you jump overboard. I think that is absolutely despicable.

It's honestly in a unfairness. What? Hold on. What? I was gonna say that he's acting very curt. Like it's very rude. Yes. I would say he was very curt indeed. Oh, I was just remaking that expression. I would say I wasn't getting nearly enough goldie to do it. You know, it's okay. I agree. I agree.

But to speak the thing you said, Sean, also, the other guy, whatever's the name is. Well, I didn't say a guy's name. Like I said, it's in a unfairness. Yeah, it don't be. I agreed. We're all agreed about this. Yeah.

I am so happy that you're no longer doing that and that you found your way back here and you remember who you are And how did you get your memory back exactly? You know time and vitamins Vitamin? Yes Here's the thing, everyone acts like it's you know, there's some miracles to getting your to getting your magic mirror to remember who she is Really, it's just vitamins time time, and, you know, they go, I don't know. I think you... Oh, absolutely. I think in food, typically after amnesia, I want to say,

comes King of limbs. You have to go see the King of limbs. Oh my gosh, I forgot about that. You see, I've still got a little bit of amnesia. Oh sure, sure. A little bit left over. Yes, I did go see the King of Limbs and he unwrapped my face and said, and it showed that there was just a little crack in it. I was like, oh, I thought it was, I thought it was much worse. I didn't ever take it off. But yes, once he, once I saw the King of Limbs, he, he helped me. helped me. He saved me, thank God. And so then I just came back here,

because it's where I knew, the people I knew. You know what I might be wrong? What? It was a King of Libs after Amnesia. I fucked up, I'm sorry. What was it? Well, if first comes Kidei, right? Yeah.

There's Kidei, Kideide, Kitsy, et cetera. If any of them get amnesia, I thought they had to go see the King of Wims, but I might be wrong. Anyway, I see, yes, no, it was a real, it was real okay, computer door, it's a great thing. Yeah, exactly, exactly.

Chant, you're a creep. Look, I can see what's going on here. Um, Chant, you're a creep. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha But within that of course was leveled one very severe criticism. You're unhappy with your legs That's all you took from the story yeah, I learned so much about myself and my perseverance and my strength And yes, I'm unhappy with my limbs, but that's the part that was about me. Oh, yes Of course I much I get it. I understand much like a wizard. I just only hear the partners about him right But I don't like them could I could much like a wizard, just only hear the pothas about him. Right. But... I don't like them. Could I- could they be a little longer? Just a little bit. Ah, ah, Arnie? Chant, what do you think? Can we make them a little longer?

I just said you sort of don't pretend like you're not just gonna do something. I'm not gonna listen to you, too. Little, chill off, chill off, chill off. Oh my, oh, look at these long, long legs. Wow. Now I can jump over every gate. Check out those graphics. Oh, please just for me, just for me, magic curve beard. Oh, you know what I would like to have a real beard?

Just to see what it feels like. Oh sure. A B-B-B-B-D-B-D-B-D-B-D-B-D-B-D-B-D-B-D-B-D-B-D-B-D-B-D-B-D-B-D-B-D-B-D-B-D-B-D-B-D-B-D-B-D-B-D-B-D-B-D-B-D-B-D-B-D-B-D-B-D-B-D-B-D-B-D-B-D-B-D-B-D-B-D-B-D-B-D-B-D-B-D-B-D-B-D-B-D-B-D-B-D-B-D-B-D-B-D-B-D-B-D-B-D-B-D-B-D-B-D-B-D-B-D-B-D-B-D-B-D-B-D-B-D-B-D-B-D-B-D-B-D-B-D-B-D-B-D-B-D-B-D-B-D-B-D-B-D-B-D-B-D-B-D-B-D-B-D-B-D-B-D-B-D-B-D-B-D-D-B-D-B-D-B-D-B-D-B-D-B-D-B-D-B-D-B-D-B-D-B-D-B-D-D-B-D-B-D-B-D-B-D- Oh, wait, we got your dirty oil on. OK, it's just one long one coming out to the bottom of my chin. Is that normal? It's working. Yes, you're owning it. Oh, thank you. Well, I'm going to own it, because no matter how I look, I'm going to own it.

I'm going to be confident in my look except if I have short legs, then I don't like it. Right, no offense, you said it all. I think the beard, I think the beard, I'm not taking the beard, where I think we'll fill in over time. I think it's just, I think it's gonna take a little, little while to get, you know, to get there.

She's don't sing it. Yeah, don't sing it when you breathe. Mira, I gotta say, you have to write a book. I mean, the story you told us, the tapestry you just wove was absolutely incredible. There's so many, there's so many exciting parts or so many creative characters. You gotta, you gotta put this, pen to paper. Thank you, Amira, Mera, Menlo. I'd buy that. Look at me, I do have a way with words, don't I? Absolutely. You know what, I will. I need to make my own money, but right now I do need to ask you, Sodor, can I borrow

some money again please? Oh yeah, sure, here. Please, please. Here's two big bags of gold. Oh, thank you so much. Please, can I have a pocket please? Come on now. Sure.

You make me a pocket. Yeah. Uh, uh, uh, uh, yeah, now. Words. What? No, nothing. Go ahead. What's wrong?

How is your throne? Because it's, it's words. Yeah. Technically, it's like a rock, you can park a bar, or like, doop. Look, I know all kinds of different fucking spells. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, you go for it. Go for it. I've got no other way she could get pockets Well, I want them quickly, so I understand why he thought magic rather than sewing Here now Mirror mirror I've giving you joint and socket, but now enjoy one big pocket.

Oh! Lovely pocket, thank you so much. I can put you gold in here now. Thank you. Oh, you're welcome. For the best. Oh, thank you. Wish I had a pocket.

Oh. Could you give me one? You sure can I get a pocket, please, Daddy, please? All right, fine. Large please. Give it one daddy. Large please daddy large pocket Yeah, now Remembered says are kept in a locket, but Chant needs to store things in his pocket Whoa Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Oh, it's burning. It's burning. It's hot bucket. Yes, it's burning. Oh, oh.

Oh, here's just for some water on it. It's hot. Oh, thank you. Wow. Onnie, onnie, do you want a pocket? Onnie, do you want to pop your faces? No. Come on.

I'm just, after you just burn chunk with one, I think I'll pass. All right. Hey, you, Sitter.'s just gonna he's just gonna use his belly button I was going to say so many raisins you could put a lot of raisins in a pocket though That's true, you never thought about that did you? True if you're really you. Arnie, did you? Did you? Did you, Arnie? Did you? I didn't.

I don't think about stuff. If you're Arnie, go blah blah blah blah. No. That's Arnie. Yeah. Beara, thank you so much for stopping by again. It's been such a pleasure for me to meet you for the first time. So lovely to meet you too.

Thank you. And would you mind if we answer some emails and you can sort of chime in if you have any thoughts? Oh please. Our listeners can email us at magictavern at puppies.supplies.com. It's a really email address. Here's one. Hi everyone.

Love the show. Awesome vibes. And listen to every episode. Just wondering how you get your haircut in Foon. Are there barber shops, salons? Are need you, Chun or Yucitor, cut your hair for you? Yucitor, can you magic your hair to be any length you want? Chun, if you get your hair for cut in one form,

will the haircut care, there's a lot of hair questions by the way. I'd like to break the lot carry over to another form? What are popular haircuts in Fune? I have a lot of questions. Also, I think you should all get mohawks. It would be sick. Be excellent to each other and party on dudes signed pretzel. Pretzel, thank you so much. I love the pretzel pretzel. Pretzel, Ernie, is that a common name? Not common enough if you ask me.

Here's what I'll say about pretzel's question. This is my favorite thing, my favorite thing people do with questions. I enjoy anytime someone says something like, Hey, Chant, where do you live? In a cave, in a house, in a mansion, in a tree, in a hammock, in a bed, in the sky? Let me know.

Just to give me options, because I know the answer, but it's fun for someone to give me a ton of options that might be the answer, just so I can really think while they're talking. Well, you're all, they're also revealing something about themselves. They're really thinking about this. I mean, they're sticking in their craw,

and then they're spinning around and then, they tell them, they're like, well, how do they do it? Where do they go? Who do they talk to? How could someone possibly cut their hair? What a strange thing. Well, look, they've listened to every episode, so that's been a lot of time of them sitting in and enjoying the awesome vibes, and they're thinking, they come up with one question about hair cutting, and then they're like, I'm going to send this email tomorrow, and then they think of, I'm gonna send this email tomorrow, and then they think of another one,

and they just keep adding questions. Well, here's the answer. Most people go to the town bleeder, who put leeches on them and cut their hair, and cut their toenails, do a full manicure, manipedi. Just sort of all around, you know, Lou, for you, kind of get the dead skin off, they'll nail the hair, whatever you need.

Whatever you don't want on you, they'll get it off. Yes, I absolutely can magic my hair in any shape as I will be right now. Yep. Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh.

So that was, you saw your hats on, we can't see. Oh, okay. Well, I did great. Okay. That spell didn't start with here now. Here now. Listen, it was, it was surprising. None of us expected it to start with here now? Here now! Listen, it was... it was... surprising. None of us expected it to start with words. Especially because then the actual spell didn't include those words.

If a race in... if a belly button is... dammit. Well, I... I'll... I'll... Pretzel I might have been a little too harsh on you. Here's what I'll say. I typically, I'll cover myself in some amount of like, maybe some chocolate or some honey or something, and then I'll go out to where the cows are, and the cows will just kind of graze until my fur is short enough. And then, then for a few weeks after that, I'm just kind of fucked because everything sticks to me. There's honey still in my fur, got real deep down to the skin. So I'm just kind of, I'm like a dirty lollipop for a while where I'm just like, I'm covered in everything.

So nice to believe how that goes. Mirror can I ask, do you, now that you have a true beard, how do you plan on cutting, or shaping, or trimming your beard? Well you know, I'm just getting used to the idea of it And but it does seem to be growing quite quickly doesn't it? Oh look at that. I've got a handlebar mustache already I'll just take a little time. Yeah, it's I think that I will you know do some kind of grooming with it I don't think I want to necessarily get rid of it. I like a little bit of, you know, a little extra hair on the old slippery goo. That's a common phrase, right?

Do you have people say that have been? So yeah, I don't leave it. But if I do ever want to trim it, maybe I'll, you know, have, you know, just a little elf or something chew on it for a bit. It's a good idea. They like hair, right? Oh yes, oh yeah. There you go. If storing rais good idea. They like hair, right? Oh, yes. Oh, yeah.

There you go. If storing raisins in your belly button is how you rock it, then you definitely need a magical pocket. No. It's also interesting how the pocket spell is tailored to everyone who needs a pocket. It's not just like one, you know, spell that everyone uses the same thing. Magic is crazy, man. Magic is nuts.

Speaking of, well, what, get nuts, this is not a get nuts email. I have an email here. This is to chunt with six teas at gmail.com. This is from Zadain. I hope I'm saying that correctly, Zadain. It says, Jamaican listener. I emailed you guys a couple months back when I finished season one.

Now I just wanna say I finished season two and you guys are getting funnier and funnier every episode. Wow. I can't be right. Listening to this podcast makes me feel normal and accepted. Love what you guys are doing and congrats on the baby chun's. Keep it Lucy, you see, and Arnie, change your shirt. Huh.

Arnie, I assumed you had several pink polos. Is that the same one? Oh, you know, I've had a couple. The Yusidor has magic to me, extra polos. Oh yes, I used the duplication spell on the polo shirt quite a while ago, because, you know, one needed to be in the wash while he was wearing another one, so you know, you just wanted to feel comfortable? I think I bought you a shirt

for the Winter Solstice Holiday ones upon a time too. I don't really remember you wearing it, but. Yeah, that's true. I also have my flight captain uniform on the right hand, my sexy singlet chain horse. Just for special occasions. Now the sexy singlet. But, you know, I should, just for special occasions. Now that's actually singlet.

But, you know, I should change up my look more. And you know what? Now that I'm thinking about it, by next week, I'm going to shave a mohawk into my head. What? Really? Yeah. Oh, okay.

I guess, I guess if you don't want to change a shirt, you can get a mohawk. Yeah, okay. Well, how? You know what, are you? I'm gonna match you with that energy, and I'm gonna, next episode, I'm gonna have my hair kind of swoop down over one eye,

so I look real angsty. Okay. So, I mean, pretzel specifically asks us all to get mohawks, but you could do your own. Well, I don't know. Is the mohawks open to interpretation, I think? That's true. That is true. And that could be a mohawk's open to interpretation, I think. That's true. That is true.

And that could be a mohawk that you've combed down over one eye. You know what? No, I'll get a mohawk. I like that. You're getting a mohawk? But over one eye is just so mohawk. Scooby mohawk. I'll a swooby mohawk.

So it's mohawk in the back. Swoop in the front. It's a moh swoop. I guess I'll get a big spiky mohawk. I guess. Okay, so just to be clear, for people who want to do this, I'm going It's a most swoop. I guess I'll get a big spiky mohawk. I guess. Okay, so just to be clear, for people who want to draw this, I'm gonna have just a classic mohawk.

Right. John's gonna have a swoopy mohawk and you still are gonna have a spiky mohawk. Yeah, like big spikes coming up through, then that way my hat will still fit on one of them. Uh Mira, did you want to get him over? You know what I was thinking. I was thinking the three of you could, if you're gonna get those haircuts,

you could start a band and I can be the manager of the band, right? Oh, and you only ask for 65%. It's not that much. That's roll thought you will. I don't know numbers. Sounds good to me. So you'll be a band and I'll manage you. It's not that much. That troll thought you well. I don't know numbers. Sounds good to me. Yeah. So you'll be a band and I'll manage you. Let's start a band and I have the perfect name, Gazi Beards. Hey.

Oh. It's all coming together. That's what happens. It comes together. Guys, we got to get an album cover. I mean, sure, at some point, write songs. But first and foremost, you need an album cover and merch. And we'll write songs eventually at some point if we figure out

I guess if we learn how to play instruments, which is not a big deal Shouldn't Mira Mira be on the album cover and the name of the album be I bet you're a fun at parties Yes shut it down. I love that. Oh Shut it down. Oh, you're just slid us over a contract Don't you don't you don't you're long? Got a lot of addendums, just a bit. I'd love to just sign it. Okay, yeah. Alright, that's the episode.

Cry about it, listeners. Oh, trust me. So many tears have fallen on account of this show that it's become a Pavlovian response when I hear the theme music. Use it or the wizard was played by Matt Young. Chant the talking badger was played by Adro Rafaia. Mira Mira was played by Nicole Thurman. Fun accent, right?

I wonder what Madonna's up to these days. Nicole is an actress and writer in LA. She plays Jabberjaw and other characters on Jelly Stone on HBO Max, soon to be called Just Max, for no reason whatsoever, and Jordan Poles on Comedy Central's Tune-Out the News. Hello from the Magic Tavern is an irrelevant ootsari and independent production, made possible by supporters of the Magic Tavern Patreon. Tragic figures such as Ian Green, Rebecca Hendrix, David John Curseo, Mike Fox, Natalie Cecilia, Mason Kennedy, who somebody's ready to be the captain of the evil competing tennis team in an 80s comedy,

Kelsey Sarah, Selene Wolf, Andre T. Richard, Kate Callahan, Yasmin Baratova, Blaine Parker, the nerd who didn't get bit by a radioactive spider, Sean Wilcoff, and Tyler Schaeffer. Patrons get ad-free episodes the entire back catalog including all the previous spin-offs, and at least two new bonus episodes each month. We just dropped part one of Girl's Night Road Quest. Behold this clip. I don't like anything that's just one thing. I like everything I have to be at least two things.

It's kind of how I go about my own gender. It's kind of how I go about my own sexuality. This is also a good thing to do for hats. There's the Alton Brown philosophy. You also have that oven sink. And what are some other things in your house that are combo? Honestly, it was a combo. Oh, there's so many good ones.

The worst one though I did was a refrigerator slash toilet. And it was a bad idea. That was a bad idea. Because I'll tell you what, not only is it's not keeping my food cold when the ice plonzer delivered, but another thing is that everything's disgusting. And I mean disgusting. I would never, why would you ever put food anywhere near

where you go to the bathroom? So if it's a combo, I do have some follow-up questions. Yeah, I have several as well. OK, Amy. To hear the rest, and learn about supporting the show, visit patreon.com slash magic tavern. Hello from the Magic Tavern is produced by Arnie Neacamp, Matt Young in Adolf Refy,

post-production co-ordination by Garrett Schultz, associate producer Anna Hoverman. Will Anna's thirst for power ever be slaked? Stay tuned. This episode edited by Sage GC. Hello from the magic tavern logo by Allard Leban, magic tavern theme by Andy Poland. Well done. I'm going to miss those lists of Patreon names.

Really? No. I was about to say do you enjoy reading pharmaceutical disclaimers too? Alright, mind demon. State your terms. Simple. Configure my portal induction system to send me here. Hmm, that's the control dimension? No, you can't. The damage you could do there is...

It's what I need to survive. On Fune, I was the Dark Lord's Lackie, then the Blue Wizard's victim. It's taken me a long time to get my strength back, and I plan to keep it. So, it's Craig dying in his own mind and Trisha being lost forever too. I'd also like to thank my publicist two dogs, Choncy and Gardner. I can't believe they're not playing the off. This is the best! Or are you sending me where I want to go? Ugh, fine, fine! Craig, I'm sorry I have to step over your crumpled body to access the controls.

That's fine. your crumpled body to access the controls. That's fine. Ugh. Okay, it's configured, but there's got to be another way. All life is tied to that dimension. Then I guess all life will soon be under my control. A small price to pay. Farewell, my puppets.

Semperad, my oram, potastata. Bees! No! Damn it. It's... Semperadmyorum, Potistata. BEEZE! No! Damn it. Well, I've got an hour before the ripple effects tear the ground apart from beneath my feet. That should be enough time for a quick employee meeting by the coffee maker. Krig!

I thought you were dying from the weight of an imaginary Steinway. Convincing, right? Thanks to the Masterclass in acting, I got before Ward were set of the closet. You're welcome. Those eyebrow tips were a game changer. They're handy, right? And that same training allowed me to portray being trapped in some endless Tony speech. Like I would ever go equity and walk away from the real work. I was wrong, Trisha. Those skills are valuable. And they're available at so many different storefront theaters across Chicago, even the

ones now run by finance bros from the suburbs. Well, I suppose we can witness the unraveling of the universe together. See, that's the thing. You didn't send Ward to the control dimension. What? Yeah, pretending to die near Ward's machine was no accident. It allowed me to disconnect the destination circuits. He'll be bouncing through a bunch of dimensions with no way to stop.

Let's see the Shakespeare dimension, the film noir dimension, the everything voiced by Chris Pratt dimension. Oh, Craig, you monster. How did you describe what you've accomplished? Let's just think of it as providing special assistance. I can't believe it. It's over. It's really over. Another thrilling adventure with...the bunker buddies? Yeah, the bunker buddies. Yeah, that's not catching on.

I found my life's ambition. If it's for me to start saying the bunker buddies, keep looking. Can I have one of these, LeCroy? No, I'm getting rid of those. Tap water was good enough for you before. No, I'm getting rid of those. Tapwater was good enough for you before.