Hello From The Magic Tavern - Season 4, Ep 8 - Beer Window

Episode Date: December 6, 2021

A night of drinking magical mental martinis leads to the discovery of a murder!CreditsArnie: Arnie NiekampChunt: Adal RifaiUsidore: Matt YoungDah’rik Foul-Lips: Derek PhilipsStacey ORC-istano: Stacey OristanoMysterious Man: Tim SniffenProducers: Arnie Niekamp, Matt Young, and Adal RifaiPost-Production Coordination: Garrett SchultzEditor: Stephen DrangerSpecial Assistance: Ryan DiGiorgiMagic Tavern Logo: Allard LabanTheme Music: Andy PolandYou can support the show directly and receive bonus episodes and rewards by joining our Patreon at https://www.patreon.com/magictavern for only $5 per month. Follow us on Twitter and Instagram, and now Patreon!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Greetings ever-growing audience? Oh, wait, I'm holding this printout of our audience numbers upside down. And there's a smudge on it. And someone drew a seven here in Purple Crayon. And these aren't zeroes, they're glued on Cheerios. Now, let's see. Oh, dear. Greetings, tiny, passionate handful of true believers.

The following podcast is not real. The storyline of a hapless resident of Chicago trapped in another dimension is fabricated. The world building, Dicey. The caliber of the voice acting suggests three grown men searching for an email receipt for their masterclass with Maurice Lamarge to demand a refund. But it is the holiday season. That time of year we give a little extra chance at redemption to something that disappointed us throughout the year, especially knowing we can't properly get rid of it until after

Valentine's Day unless we're ready to look like a monster. So with that in mind, sit back and enjoy the show. Hello from the Magic Tavern! A weekly podcast from the magical land of Foon. I'm your host Arnie Neacamp. If you've never listened to the podcast before, this is everything you need to know. About six and a half years ago, I fell through a dimensional portal behind a Burger King in Chicago into the magical, fantastical land of Foon. Luckily, I'm still getting a Wi-Fi signal from the Burger King through the dimensional rift, and I use that to upload a podcast recorded here

in the tavern, the strange familiar, and the town of Nipple Bottom at the base of the unnamable mountain, in the magical land of fune. And it's winter solstice season. Woo! Ain't chont happy, I don't know. I know there's so many holidays in

Fune around this time of year, but I'm just noting a lot of decorations going up around nibble bottom. So happy winter solstice. Yeah happy winter solstice to you too. Yeah we did have a bunch of holidays right in a row. We had winter solstice, which is where everyone makes salsa. Mine was cranberry and snow, salsa, it did not go over well. We also just had bonks giving two weeks ago. I missed bonks giving. You missed it? Oh, nerds.

What happens during bonks giving? Oh, everyone sits around in a circle. Everybody says a really dumb thing and then the person to their left bonks them on the head. Let's try it. Mmm. Lizards can't fuck. Dylan is... wait, they can though.

Oh wait, bonk me. Ah, thanks, you got it. Now you do one. Um... Um... Hey, let's come back to it. Okay, you sleep on it and next week. I'll have something by next week.

Hey, I'm also joined by my other co-host, Yousador the Wizard. I am Yousador, Wizard of the Twelfth Rail, the most vicious master of Light and Shadow, manipulator of magical lights, devour of chaos! Chalk! Great holes of... Oh, what was that for? Sorry, late, bonk-skipping.

Oh, oh, well, happy that bonk-skipping to you. O'onnie, did you get to celebrate bonk-skipping? Um, sort of. I got a bonk. Oh, that's nice. Will you see a... It's better to bonk get to celebrate Bonk's giving? Um, sort of. I got a bonk. Oh, that's nice. Well, you see... It's better to bonk than to be bonk. You know how they say. Yes. Well, some people believe that Bonk's giving in Gundersstein are related, but actually they aren't. It's just two different holidays that happen to involve hitting someone in the head.

Huh. Just a lot of unrelated aggression between two different holidays. Well, Gundersteen is to, you know, commemorate the defeat of the first Dark Lord. Even though that Dark Lord was far less menacing than the one I defeated. Ha ha ha ha ha. Oh, that reminds me. I was going through some of the files on my laptop here that I record this podcast on. You know, I was going through some of the files on my laptop here that I record this podcast on. You know, I was looking through some earlier recordings, it's trying to see if I had any audio of Zach Plasma and who is unfortunately dead

who never has to be on an episode of the show. I'll see you soon. Haven't found any Zach Plasma clips yet, but I did come across this audio clip from season three. Oh, is it Paxazema? Who? Paxazema. That skeleton with a wormhead?

Wait, is the Nemesis of Zack Plasma? Oh, yes, damn. You guys talking about Slack Charisma? No, who's Slack Charisma? Oh, well, I don't wanna bring it up but we're not talking about him. Yeah, sorry, that's it, sorry. What were you saying, Arnie?

Okay, well, I was just saying that I found this audio clip about Christmas. This is from an episode of season three here. Let me play it Not too bright. I mean physically It's difficult to get a line on him. You follow the teachings and beliefs of the dark Lord of food. Yeah, Chris. Chris. What? Yeah, Chris.

And then it three times. It did it different, Chris, and you're talking about, because we're talking about Christ, the dog lord. He also goes by the name of Chris, and has been that being who once a year we must commit to foul acts. Oh my gosh, this might be a shocking revelation as the time when I was a child

and I realized that Santa and Satan are very similar words. Whoa! Oh no! Who is this he's talking about? Who are these two? Yes, tell us. Ernie explained the Earth stuff. Well, generally I don't want to talk about Earth stuff, but...

Great. Now, Screen, I can't help but notice. We were all in that. That was all of us. How fun! You said, that's the podcast that we do every week. Have you never heard our podcast? Oh, no, but it is delightful.

Certainly someone would take at least, you know, I don't know, a small pigeons per month to support us if they listen to something that's wonderful. Sorry, I walked away. I can't listen to my own voice. Really? Yeah, can you summarize what happened if this is gonna be like a fucking clip show or whatever? Oh boy, you know, we could do a clip show. The problem is that like, it's a lot of work for me

to collect all those clips, you know what I mean? It's actually less work for us to just a fucking talk for an hour and a half. I'm a business with the one podcaster who thinks a clip show is too much work. Look, the point of what we're doing isn't to talk about the Clip Show or about how unlistenable Chant's voice is. We have.

I just realized that we'd forgotten that we learned that the Dark Lord, who is definitely dead and we are not keeping him trapped in the basement of this tavern. Well, if you don't want to do a Cl clip show, I suppose that we could just sing songs for a couple of hours. Ooh, I have one. Yes, go. Sure. Simply having a wonderful time. Oh, that's lovely. Yeah. Thank you.

I like that you can listen to that song at any time. Yeah, well, I don't want to make it holiday specific because then it'll like it's played once a year Yeah, oh I learned a new holiday song here in nibble bottom. Yeah, wait on us Frost roll down the mountain frost rolls down the mountain frost rolls down the mountain Maybe it's mr. Will drag and poop. Oh, I like that one a lot. Oh, yeah Maybe it's Mr. Bull Dragon poop. Ooh, I like that one a lot. Oh yeah. God, that's cool.

Hey, I heard one, and I don't know if I don't know all of the words. Maybe you guys can help me with it. Um, on the first day of solstice, my food love gave to me a python in a bone tree. Bunk. No. Oh, I've been sitting on an original. I don't know if this, you know what nevermind, it's dumb. No, no, no, I an original, we'd love to hear it.

Okay, um, bram, bram, bram, bram, bram, bram, bram, bram, bram, bram, bram, bram, bram, bram, bram, bram. Here we go. Hey you nasty little ravioli's, what are you doing, wins it? And by the window, looking at the window, looking for a man? Man, man, what kind of man? Man in boots and man in coats. That's all kinds of silly men. Hey my little nasty raviolis, what are you doing,

wins it by the fire? Looking up the chimney, look, can four men, man, man, what kind of man? Big old fat man coming down the chimney. Oh you little nasty raviolis, go to bed, you nasty raviolis. I think it needs work, but it might be a hit. I mean, I think it tells people to watch out for gentlemen in your chimney and to not

eat too much pasta. Yeah, it's, I wrote it because a lot of houses were broken into last Christmas. Uh-huh. So, you know, I just, I'm trying to raise awareness for kids to be on the alert for strange and unusual looking mesh. Oh, that reminds me. I keep getting distracted from this clip that I played. You just said Christmas, right, Chun?

Maybe it's impossible to tell. What do you mean maybe? I don't know what I say at any time. What did you just say? As soon as I say something, I forget it, which is why I never want to listen back to my voice. Look, we don't have time to talk about it. This is a clip show or not, or how horrible it is to listen to Chant's voice.

And how if you want to listen to the podcast, you just got to grit your teeth and get through the parts where you're hearing his voice. Let's roll that clip where we grit our teeth. I'm sorry, I thought I was throwing you to a clip on it. You said it was a clip show. No, I don't. You know how long it would take me to go back and find that episode where we were gritting our teeth? All right, well, why did you play just one clip then? Well, look, this is how bad I would be at finding clips.

I was looking for a clip of Zach Plasma who died before we even recorded episode one of this podcast, but I started looking midway through season three. So that's like hundreds of episodes off from where it should have been. I got bad news for you, my man. You're not gonna find that clip. Hey, do you guys mind if we do a real quick clip show?

Sure. Hey, I was thinking about, you ever find something? They, you, thank you. Ah, ah, ah, ah. Are you gonna partake in this clip show? They you thank you Are you gonna partake in this clip show Yes, there are a number of interesting revelations in the clip. I I think is maybe what you're driving to Arnold You know those three fees, so rather two thieves and one pirate fee. Yeah, one was not clearly a pirate, right?

Like, I mean, some of that maybe didn't come through in that clip, but it seemed like he was a pirate. You should go back and listen though, it's a good one. I would say that, you know, if you're driving at what I think you're driving at. Hmm. People this year may not be able to celebrate Christmas. That's right. For new listeners, how does the Christmas holiday work? Did you say for new listeners,

you fucking little pervert? Chant, we've been over this. Some of our listeners are gonna be nude. That's just a reality of life. I don't like it. I don't like it. You don't like it. Give me a number. Give me a percentage.

33%. 33% that's a lot. Oh wait. No wait, are you saying that they're 33% nude or 33% of them are nude? 33% of the listenership is 33% nude. Oh wait, you just said give me a number. Was I supposed to know facts about something?

Oh no, I thought perhaps somebody knew. If we're just making up numbers, 7,843! That was right. Sorry, for new listeners, is that a new- I'm using- Some new listeners, especially the new ones. Could you explain how the holiday of Chris must works? Well, of course.

Once a year, that despicable little twipped Chris does whatever you ask him to do, uh, and you make him do something terrible because he's just such a annoying jerk the rest of the year. But then it turns out you found out from those thieves that the Dark Lord was Chris the whole time. I know this whole time, this beloved, but sort of shitty holiday figure, Chris, was the Dark Lord. This whole time?

This whole time? This whole time. I know. And now the Dark Lord is dead. But really he's in the basement? Yeah, we have no basement. And he's in blemishishes body, so I don't know That's gonna

Wait is in the basement of euphemism like buried guys, I forget what we've done. I'm so sorry I don't know what I say I forget what we've done John you should be listening to these clips. So you would know what's going on I can't listen. I'm trying to think of my nasty little Ravioli song Remember when we met Twarmoline, the dragon teen? Yeah! Last week, termplay? Our new employee. I'll say sure.

Okay, we have Twomoline is, you know, digging out a big cave in the basement to watch over the dark lord. I mean, blemish. I mean, nobody. And Edwell, uh, well, uh, Tormaline is going to help us, kind of contain that evil entity that's trapped in blemish's body. And my theory is that Chris must

like give him some additional power set or unaware of or something. I don't know. I don't know how he was Chris and the Dark Lord the whole time. Because he slept on my couch for like a week one time as Chris. And I was like, just what are you doing here? And he didn't seem familiar at all.

Because you know what the, you know the Dark Lord. No, he didn't seem the same at all. He looks totally different. You know, he's got this like slack kind of laid back attitude and hair over one eye. And I was like, and I was like that and I was like you've got to get out of my house I can't have you stay in here all the time and finally I had to kick him out and then I said this year when the

winter solstice comes around I'm going to make you eat your own shoes. Oh shoes I thought you're going somewhere else with that. And the shoes were full of this shit. Is it possible the dark Lord wasn't always Chris from Chris must, but he accidentally, let's say, killed the original Chris and due to some kind of Chris must clause, he turned in to Chris himself for at least part of the year. So I guess we don't need to worry about it. I just thought that this is the holiday time. We should brace ourselves that a lot of people are going to be disappointed that there's

probably not going to be a Chris must of this year gonna be disappointed that there's probably not gonna be a Christmas to this year. Oh, but there's so many other wonderful holidays. Oh, Arnie Buddy, I was gonna say we're always bracing for people being disappointed. That's our podcast. That's true. Well, this was a great episode. I think we've done everything we can do here this week, and I'll be on my way. Excuse me. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, Oh, yes. Remember the days when back in the Vermilion Minitor when I would get drunk and ask everyone to join my quest. So long ago. Yeah.

Chand, are you up for some drinks? Yeah, I'm up for some drinks and especially a first break. My name's Chand, I'm a shape shifter on Shantay. Um, a little bit about me. I live in a hovel in the ground. My best friend is a human. Wait, is this a first break? Yeah!

Can I walk you home? No, your thing is the first date. Arnie, if you agree, we'll pay for the second break. We do have two breaks in the show now, so I'll think it over. And I'll get back to you after this break. First though, let's hear some words from a sponsor here in Foon before any Earth side ads. You know Mittens. You've lived in breed Mittens.

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Yeah, I want lobster juice with two lobsters. I want the prime rib, martini. What else? Oh, do they still have the 24-curate gold gulp? Ugh. I've always wanted to try that, but I never had the money for it. I'm so sorry, Chant.

I mean, I would happily buy you all of those very expensive drinks and foods. But I think there's a special going on tonight on some of the Mentises, Mental Teenies, you know those drinks that Mentises the Mental Merchant makes where you can experience. Yeah, and then we can just experience some other people's emotions or memories.

Really one of the bastards, son of a bastard. Hmm, I'm thinking about having a whimsy sour. Ooh. That is tempting. But those mintous, the mintous teeny sound really good too. I wouldn't mind having some memories. I mean, we were going down memory lane,

talking about the holidays, and the old days of the familiar minute also. Why don't we dive into that fully? Yeah, look, this card has some of the drinks on it, if you want. I'm gonna have a whimsy sour. I mean, you said you maybe want a sad Zerak? I'll have a sad Zerak.

That sounds great. Okay. Ooh, and I'll have a recall lipso. Okay, sounds good. All right and I'll have a recall lipso. Okay, sounds good. Alright, I'll be right back. Chant. Yeah? Why doesn't Donny get guests anymore?

I mean, honestly, I think he's too lazy. I mean, I realize it's a lot of work to book guests and to continue to find new people who are to come here and speak to us about basically next to nothing. But it just feels like maybe maybe what the people are clamoring for is to stop having guests up again. Let's stop fooling ourselves. Let's just focus on the three of us figuring out some new adventure to go on. I think we should go on the greatest adventure of all time. One that even eclipses my great defeat of the dark world. Oh my God, yes, please, oh, it's please going that.

And I'm not gonna faint in a sense. You know, Arnie does get a lot of emails, and I've been deleting them. He got one from Atomas Hanks on Earth who wanted to be on the show, and I just read a fucking deleted it. Who cares, why would we... Nobody wants to hear from Atomis.

Why would we interview someone from Earth anyway? Yeah, exactly. What colors you're Thai over? How do you get around? Bicycle, fun. Do you love typewriters? Fool. All right, okay, buddhas and buddies, I got our drinks for us here.

The used to do here's your sad Zaraq. Thank you. Wimsey Sour. Trent, here's your re-re... How do you pronounce this again? Oh, a recall lipso. Yeah, a recall lipso. There you go.

It's a tropical drink that makes you help remember. Okay, let's... I should be drinking that, huh? Mmm. These are good. These are really good. Taste the, yeah, they must have a new bar manager back there. This is, uh, this is fun. I'm getting kind of drunk, I'm getting buzzed.

Yeah, I'm kind of like, it's sort of weird to sort of like have, when you drink it, you have sort of flashes of the memories of the people that this fluid was sucked out of. That's how that worked, right? Trying to remember. Yeah, but there's a better way to phrase it, I'm sure. Yeah, we're all just drinking glasses of fluid that was sucked out of people, right?

Uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh. I used it or my friend, we shouldn't let him drink. Oh, did you, did you see the same thing I saw after I drank my sads, or? We don't know yet Here quickly have a sip of mine everyone try it right. I don't know sadzerak. It's very better Yes, but I've seen something so tragic so terrible I've witnessed

Oh, sorry my inhale of breath extinguished the candle to the table. Let me relight it here. Oh, Arnie's dead! No, no, I'm just close my eyes for a second. I'm talking about. Oh, sorry. You said, or you're saying that you witnessed a murder? I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Stop saying murder. I'm dead. You did it to yourself. That's me, that's on me. I don't know, you store. Is it kind of like when you taste something that you're like, I think this has gotten rotten?

I think maybe you want to try to make other people taste it? Yeah, well, I would just want to be sure that I'm seeing what I think I'm seeing. Are you seeing what I think you're seeing? I need to try a little bit, please. Okay. You don't have to slurp it. Are you saying what I think you're saying? I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I- We witnessed our fair share of murders over the course of this podcast, but there's something especially bracing about experiencing the memory of a murder through a drink. I don't know if I've ever witnessed a murder as much as I committed a number of them.

Yeah, I guess I'm thinking of me witnessing you committing murders. Yeah, almost a series of murders. You could say I've committed a... If you put them in order, it's kind of a serialized number of murders I've committed in order to, you know, defeat evil. So you're a serialized killer. Right, exactly. Can I have a little sip, he's up?

Yeah. Ah! Wait, when I took a sip, I just saw a flash of someone who slipped in a pool of blood and now they're taking a nap on the floor. That's it. That's it, exactly, John. It's a murder!

Ah! Oh, the orb didn't go out. Do either of you recognize the person that fell into the pool of blood? I can't say that I do. It seemed to be a younger man. A young man. A young man. Young man. It seems like he just had a fun place to stay that... Why? Mmm... I don't know. See? Ehehe, I'm gonna grab another drink. No, Chant's right. We have to get more drinks. If there's been a murder and there are clues in that drink,

there might be more clues in some of the other drinks. I know, I'll order us three red robes. Chad, what were you and you started talking about when I was getting that first round of drinks? Ooh, can I tell you? Please. I honestly can't remember. Hey you nasty little raviolis.

That's what was going through my head the whole time. Sure, but I think I said something, but in my head, I was, you going through my head the whole time. Sure. I think I said something but in my head I was you know composing that song still. Sure. You know, do work on your short-term memory. Why don't you sing that entire song again? Oh sure. Oh, t-t-t forgot? Oops, I spilled another piece of paper on top of that piece of paper. Oh, that is just a pile of papers now. Here, I'll just fold the first one back. No, it's ruined, I better throw it out. That's that, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, Good. Mmm. Oh!

Oh! Brains. Brains. Brains. Ah, it's so cold. Really hurt my brain. Oh, I'm having a memory. I was fornicating with an oyster and we were right where the wave hits the land. No, John, we don't want just your memories. We want the memories from the drinks. You don't want me to talk about my sex on the beach? He's the man who's the man who's the man who's the man who's the man who's the man who's the man who's the man who's the man who's the man who's the man who's the man who's the man who's the man who's the man who's the man who's the man who's the man who's the man who's the man who's the man who's the man who's the man who's the man who's the man who's the man who's the man who's the man who's the man who's the man who's the man who's the man who's the man who's the man who's the man who's the man who's the man who's the man who's the man who's the man who's the man who's the man who's the man who's the man who's the man who's the man who's the man who's the man who's the man who's the man who's the man who's the man who's the man who's the man who's the man who's the man who's the man who's the man who's the man who's the man who's the man who's the man who's the man who's the man who's the man who's the man who's the man who's the man who's the man who's the man who's the man who's the man who's the man who's the man who's the man who's the man who's the man who's the man who's the man who's the man who's the man who's the man who's the man who's the man who's the man who's the man who's the man who's the man who's the man who's the man who's the man who's the man who's the man who's the man who's the man who's the man who's the man who's the man who's the man who's the man who's the man who's the man who's the man who's the man who's the man who's the man who's the man who's the man who's. Oh yes, this is similar to the vision that I saw.

Once my brain began to thaw a moment ago, a shadowy figure holding what appeared to be a hatchet on it. What did you see? I didn't drink, didn't look very good, so I just sort of poured it on the side of the table. I didn't really see anything at time. Speaking of hatchet, did I ever tell you guys about when I was a kid? I was flying on the back of an albatross, and the albatross crashed into the wilderness,

and I was alone in the wilderness with just a hatchet, and that's it. Luckily, I was able to shape shift to survive and get the hell out of there, but I had a hatchet. Chunt. I mean, to tell you, you keep telling that story to children and it just seems... In appropriate? A little bit.

It seems like, I mean, I feel like technically they can handle all the elements of that story, but it seems a little traumatizing. Yeah, the Albatross' brains were everywhere. Ooh. I think I had an aneurysm or a part of that. I can't remember. It's been a while since I read that memory.

Anyway, Arnie, did you see the culprit? Did you see the mysterious shadow with the hatchet? No, but here I got another drink here. Maybe I'll take a sip of it. I got a mean hat. Okay, but from this point on, let's keep reusing the drinks we already have versus coming up with new ones. Fair enough. I did see.

And what I saw was the shadow of the hatchet looked like it had tiny little arms coming out of the handle. We're looking for a walking hatchet or I don't know if it walks. was the hatch it was being carried but oh Yeah, I'm insane. No, you're right. I'm the asshole here. Onnie, why would someone give a hatchet just arms and not legs? Use your fucking brain. I look I didn't want to make any assumptions I'm I was just saying exactly what I saw. Oh

Hello, I'll magically enchant this hatchet. I'll give it arms. And then it will sit here, unable to move around and do a god damn thing. Uh, you, Sador, have you been stealing sips of my mean hat and because you're being a real dick? Maybe I have. What are you gonna do about it? Punk.

Well, you, Sador, this is not unlike when you magicked all those brooms to carry those peels of water for you But you didn't give them legs so they had to like shuffle around on their bristles Oh, that did not go well exception proves the rule You know, I that's exactly why I should have given them legs would have gone much smoother I would have been in a lot less trouble. Oh, what a day See him pink hippos for days They waltz me in the head when they got, when I got, but they got back to the Great

Halls of Taurakis. They believed in Corporal Punishment. Can you believe that? For Wizards? Corporal Punishment? That's where you have to go into a solid form? Yes, that's right. Because I was intangible before that.

A lot of my time at the Great Halls of Taurakis, I was like, oh, I'll be intangible for a while. It's a little pretentious. I get it. It was a vase I was going through. But you know, literally. Yeah, exactly. Oh, wait, I think I know what to do. Let me hop down on the table here, go behind the back.

OK, yes. The bartender always keeps a hatchet behind the bar for protection. You should or can you give this hatchet arms and then we can start to pull back the layers and suss out of motivation. Should I also give it legs? Are we going with Ani's preposterous idea that it has arms but no legs? Give it one arm and's just flopping around.

That seems cool. It seems- I'm gonna do the other side. Yeah! I'm not told. There we go. That's even doubt. Okay, so what would want to make an animated hatchet kill?

Uh, think, think. Oh, maybe the person was made out of wood? Oh, that's a good boy. I didn't think of that Yeah, we've been living in nibble bottom for a couple of months now. Have we met anyone made out of wood? Well, there are a few wooden nymphs who came through And they're they're partially made of wood and plants Oh, there was there was that little wooden boy. Oh, but you know what he got magically turned into a real boy

That's right. And he had all those strings that were holding them down. He was kind of tied up. Do we know any real boys who got turned into wooden boys? Oh, what about that kid, Inoki pin? Okay. I mean, I'm listening. He was a real boy that got turned into a wooden boy.

Yeah, I mean, I don't think it was a wooden boy. It seemed like that. Are you sure though? Because here, there's more details. Okay, great. Every time he told the truth, his nose would just fucking shoot out of the back of his head. That's terrible.

Is this Pajetto's little creation? Yeah, Pajetto's insane. He's a young scientist who likes to dabble. I'd say steer clear of him. Yeah. Crick any chimney? Is that something? Is that a thing? Oh yeah! Is that that little cockroach that would sit on that little boy's shoulder? Sure. Let me drink some more of your mean hat.

Okay, can we all agree though, if this was the person that was murdered, we won't look any further into it. Yeah, agree. Yeah, sure. I'm seeing. Oh. Oh, oh, yes I am also seeing hatchet.

It's arms. It's arms. It's little hands, or little tiny fists. And it's slightly askew. So you're not seeing it directly from behind. It has a tiny mouth. It's saying something in the vision, in the memory that I can't quite make out.

Chunt, is it just me? I'm having a hard time concentrating on the murder details. And I'm just fixating on the fact that Yusudor makes that same weird sound every time he learns something about the murder. Which chunt are you talking to? Zach into one of the middle. I just don't want to assume because there might be other people named chunt. Yeah, it sounds like he's climaxing.

Right. You know what? Oh, Yusudor chunt. Here's what we need, shots. I'll be right back. A chunt, this is what we ought to do with our lives. I hope not. I mean, I hope this is a phase

and then I hope to like move on to something else, you know? Like I hope it's me on stage singing and I have the nasty little ravioli players and they're like also singing they might they might be my band and I tour around Foon. Wouldn't that be fun? Travelling musician? Oh yes a bod as you as a that would be a wonderful good good class for you good job for you. Yeah and I probably need you know a stage show with like lights and pyrotechnics so I would need a wizard. I would make an excellent stage manager slash pyrotechnic technician.

I would gladly tour with thee and put on the greatest light show that's ever been seen! Fireworks! Fireworks! Wow, that's so cool that you scream fireworks while the table slightly jiggled. Next time you should do real fireworks. We're inside. Yeah, you want to play it safe. You know, well, that's what makes me such a good pirate technician.

I know what's acceptable, what the safety parameters are. No one, everyone's impressed by the explosions and lights, but the true scale is knowing when not to set off an explosion. Exactly. Okay, guys, all right, I got a bunch of stuff here. All right, so to help us solve the murder, I got just this big bottle of Yeager murder. And I think this is gonna have memories of the murder in it.

And then I also got us a memories of the murder in it. And then I also got us a bunch of shots and I had to thought just to make it fun every time we learned something about the murder, we should take a shot. Oh boy, we're gonna get fucked up. Okay, I suppose we can do that. Okay, are you ready? Yeah.

Now, don't forget, you got your yeager murder, but keep your shot ready because we might discover a thing about the murder pretty soon and then we have to take a shot. Okay, here we go. Down the hatch, you old snatch. Whoa. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.

Oh, sorry, I thought we were all doing this now. It's happening to the chum. It's a new, it's a new shampoo. Oh, wait, I thought we were all doing this now. It's happening to Chuck. It's a new- it's a new shampoo. It's a new shampoo. Oh, wait, come on. Ah, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, yeah, I hope so. Hello. Well, you may not be soon because I have just learned something about the motor and you must prepare to take a shot. The name of the victim was Darrylian. I'm totally right with my shot, I just couldn't quite. Yeah, what was the name?

The name of the victim was Darrylian. Dar, Dar, Dar, Dar. Real. Real. E. E. Man. Duh, duh, duh, duh, duh. Real, real, e, e, n, n, n, n. And, yeah, let's, Ian, the victim, oh, Ian. I just took, I had a vision too. The body's name was Ian. Oh, oh, shot.

Now, how could we have learned two different pieces of information? Wait a second, guys. All this time, we've been assuming that we've been solving one murder, but we've been drinking a lot of different drinks. Oh wait, I had another flash. Yes, all these drinks are bringing about different memories

of maybe it's different vantage points of the same murder, because I just saw a new vantage point. Ian, the dead body on the floor, was wearing those pajamas with the butt flap open. He had some sort of like rear window open that you can just see right to his butt. So he must have been, you know,

out of bed going to the bathroom when he was killed. Oh, I've just seen another vision. I can see the room with this happen now. It's upstairs here at the strange familiar. Arnie what'd you see? Yeah Arnie what'd you see? You've been required.

I saw a bird looking in the window watching and I'm masturbating. What? What? No I mean right now look guys look at that window. Oh get out of here. Get out of your firm Scram that's nice. Don't do that. Yeah. Oh, it's a culture inappropriate Mm-hmm the culture that pulls its own pod get out of your culture get out of here. I love you still

Well case closed oh No, but what I saw was that there were some mice in the corner watching. There's some mice that saw this whole thing. So if we find these mice, maybe they know exactly who the murderer is. Shot, new information, shot. Nope, shot, shot.

Was it those two mice right there sitting at that other table? Maybe. I mean, I'll go over there and find out what they know. Okay. Yeah! Good evening, mice. I am Yusudor. The blue. Are you familiar with me? Hey, Betty. Back up. We're going through some shit right now. Why you? We uh, we saw some things that uh, we're not comfortable talking about. Some awful things, and hey, you should know, we're two kind mice. But after what we saw, I don't know if I can be kind anymore.

It was awful. Look, come clean. I can't hold my partner back much longer. And I'm the good wizard. So you're gonna have to tell me everything you know. Who's your partner? Yeah. The spin-tax to the green. Oh, I heard he's the best wizard in all of the food.

Yes, he'll come in here and fuck your shit up real bad. So you better be good, you better tell me what you know before before I was sorry Don't have to let him loose on you. I heard he wants to go one fish and made it into one fish that was cooked And it was enough to feed three people. Yeah, well, that's pretty impressive I guess you know I heard that once he said a magic word and it made a rainbow shoot out of his hand Yeah, that's pretty good. I heard that he once poured wine into water and ruined the wine What do you know about the murders? What? How did he know? How do you know that we saw some murders? Josh, we better come clean Okay, we saw a murder. Oh, I feel good this thing. Oh, okay

We're gonna head out that Conscious is clear. Yep. Well now that we shared shared that information it's time for our suicide pact Oh, oh get some shorts in here my shoes put a hat maybe a bottle of water. Yeah, I'm all packed for suicide Suicide Ontario Yeah, we're taking a trip Hey scubble dried away, huh? You all right. Yeah, we're taking a trip. They scuttled right away. Huh? Yeah, all right. Yeah, yeah. Ah, yeah, yeah.

Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. Uh, well, uh, those two might have scuttled off to, uh, suicide Ontario. Uh, and, uh, what? They made a little pact and they took it with them. Are you drunk? What are you- you're just talking gibberish to us? Don't you fucking tell me what I am or am not. See who you're- oh, you get so mean when you have a mean team.

Don't you fucking tell. I will- I will fuck you up so bad. Do you remember when I killed the dog lord with a sword right through the heart? All the accident and stayed dead. He didn't stay dead. Shut up. Alright, look, I didn't learn much from those mice, but they definitely saw a motor, so there was a motor, but then they had to go. So, why don't we take a quick break and have some more drinks? Well, let's spit boh here, drink a break. Let's have a little bit of water. What are you up like? Fucking save.

I'm not saying we're not gonna keep drinking. We're gonna solve this murder, but we should have some water and hydrate before Hey you hey you little nasty Baviole why you drinking at the bar nasty ravioli Why are you drinking at the bar? Oh, it's good in the round. Yeah, it is. It's like Oh guys guys during the break I Feel up a little bit. Yeah, it's all over your front of your shirt and your beard I know, but there might be clues. I'm gonna throw up some clues.

No, no, it's all right. It's all right. Just drink some water. I'm gonna solve this murder. Just drink some water on it. We're never gonna solve this murder. We're never gonna solve this murder. I'm never gonna dance again.

At during the break, I had a drop of water, and now I'm completely sober. So I need the two of you. I'm a wizard, so it only takes a drop of water and now I'm completely sober so I need the two of you I'm a wizard so it only takes a drop of water for me to sober up But I need the two of you to drink a little bit of water and then we'll start drinking memories again and Solve the murder it'll all it'll all work out. I love you guys. I love you to chant Where am I, guys? If you guys ever got murdered, I would drink every drink. I would need to drink to find out who murdered you.

Oh, that's very sweet, Donnie. John, you don't have shoes. You don't wear shoes. Can I tell you something, Mr. Dork? Honestly, fuck Andy. He doesn't deserve you. He's an asshole, and he treats you like shit. And you are beautiful.

And you need someone who treats you like the queen that you are And a cane huh never the murder wait. He's a murderer. He's a murder Yes, that's true and we may have even met him one time wait or several somehow that episode was more confusing than this one Wait, I was just in the bathroom and I saw a wanted poster. I come to think of it. It was for a guy named Bob Hatchett. What? If you want that poster, take it. Oh, yeah, I thought it looked cool. Huh? I think he meant that the poster indicated there is a person who is wanted

and it's indicated on the poster, the person who is indeed I being. No I wanted the poster. Oh you just want the poster. Yeah okay yeah well let it go take it. But did I come across a clue? Nature yes. Bob you gotta stop coming on the clues. I feel so good. You're tampering with evidence. Bob hatchet that must be the killer. It was a Hatchet job. Well, we still have this little Hatchet here. I'm going to see if I can, if I can commune with the Hatchet magically. Hatchet, it's me, Yusudor, your father. Is there anything that you can tell us about your Hatchet brethren, specifically Bob Hatchet?

And any motors he may have committed. Bob Hatchet has a sickly child. Guys, this hatchet scares me. It's alright, it's just Hatchet, you know, it's just a hatchet, it's fine. Now if Bob Hatchet has a sickly child, why would he want to commit motors? Chris must die. Okay, Christmas time.

No days off. Okay, because Christmas is being cancelled. Bob Hatchett's days off were cancelled. And therefore he decided to commit murders out of frustration. Makes sense to me. Solved. What?

Sorry, I fell asleep for a second. Do we solve the murder? Yes, it appears that a hatchet killed multiple people because it didn't get time off for the holidays. Oh, fuck, that sucks. That's bad. That was bad. Someone should say something. I'm gonna say something. Yeah, I- I think that makes sense.

Tink, tink, tink, tink, tink, tink, tink. Oh, I'm hitting myself on the throat with a spoon. Listen, everyone. Shut up and pay attention. Thank you. Listen, everyone at the bar. I know I'm drunk, but we can't go around just killing everyone. Yeah. And also, Yusador. Yes.

Fuck Andy. Okay. You gave him everything. Killing everyone. Yeah, and also you said or yes fuck Andy, okay? You gave him everything and what did you do with it? He treated you like garbage, right? And it's not what you are okay. I just love you. It's okay. It's okay Chuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuch Dude, is there a light? No, no, they love you. They love both of you. Oh, the Vazoo! You used to go, yeah. How do you make light again? Galee-Licht and cover. Can you do that again, but make it the light of pedeo?

Pedeo light, sure. Galee-Licht and cover. Oh, oh, that's a... I feel much better. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, Ooh, yeah, I'm a little more sobered up now. So, so we solved the murder, it was Bob Hatchett. He didn't get time off work for Christmas, and he went crazy and killed his boss. Is that who he in was?

Does he work for Ebenian? The screw? Ebenian screw? I guess I read that name tag wrong. Oh, I'm sorry. I'm still, to be fair, I'm still a little drunk. Oh, wait. Yes. Da-real-ian.

If you look at it upside down, it spells Ebenezer. Oh, because it's written in Crazy Scroll. Of course. Hmm. How did we miss it? Oh my god, this mystery is coming together like a puzzle box. Wow, what a clean little bow we put on this. Holy cow.

Well, I'm satisfied, but now I have another concern. Yeah. If Christ must is cancelled, and this sweet little hatchet with a sickly child decided to commit murder most foul. Then what will other people do when they realize there's no Christmas to this year? There's so many other foolish holidays to celebrate. I was certain they would be more than

happy to celebrate one of them instead like a hagbub or a gunner's steam. Bunk's giving. Bunk's giving. Yes, it. Bunk's bumps giving no other winter solstice or orgasm Thursday Or or it's our smell back or Stinkle fist or oh Stinkle fist I got any of those. I'm not a fan of stinkle fist. Why not? I don't know. It's too stinky You know everyone has fun in their own way. I guess so. I prefer orgasm Thursday. I gotta be honest. Who doesn't?

Yeah, that one's definitely become more of a secular holiday. It started off as a specific, you know, foolish sect of worshiping the goddesses. And then everyone, even if they don't worship the same gods, they're like, we'll do orgasm Thursday. Sure. Yeah, yeah. You can be secular. It's natural.

Yeah. But what, what if more people decide to start committing murders? I would all have to think about this. Oh my God, I can't drink that much every week. No, no, no, no. We'll have to think about what to do about Christmas. The show must go all-ness, they say. I guess so.

Well, we've got a little time still. Christmas isn't for a couple of weeks. And between now and then I'm sure we can come up with some plan to make people happy and keep our little secret safe. Yeah. And by then, perhaps I'll take on a new, you know, I need to start coming up with some alibis and new new personas anyway

That's right. You're supposed to be dead in a couple weeks, right? A couple months a couple months But yes, I should start coming up with aliases and uh, oh Skieses I like alibi or or full name Allison. Oh, you know Allison by? Yeah. Yes, I was hoping that she would want to spend some time with me when I take on a new name and a new persona and a new look and perhaps start a new life once everyone's gonna expect me to turn into a shadowed blight. Yeah, it disappears with the first.

Sure, sure. We'll have to figure it out. We'll figure it out. Well, I'm perfectly satisfied. The resolution of this particular, Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure someone else right now. Yeah, it could be under this very table. Do you wanna look? No, aren't you gonna look? I'm scared of hatchets. I'm already scared of the hatchet that we have here.

Wait a minute. Does this hatchet we just created go back in time and commit the murder? Oh, Bob. Quick, let's name it Bob Hatchet. I mean, now you're trying to make it come true. No, he's not trying to do anything, but look at this fucking Hatchett. What would you name it?

Let's just ask the Hatchett, its name. Hatchett. No, you sir, quick, get in the job. Well, wait, what are you doing? I was just going to ask it what its name was already. Oh, yes, fine, I'll give it a job. Yes, Hatchett, would you like a job at my accounting firm? I am known to the accountants of this world as Ebenezer Blue Rob. Yes, I will take the job. No,

excellent, see problem solved. Hmm. For my son is sickly. I don't care. I'm not celebrating Hagbum this year. I'm going to be myzaly. You can have no time off. No any call. My son's name is... Tiny... Tinder. Huh? But we've got... Sexy. Tin for sexy.

Yeah, Tinder? Come here! That's right. Ah! Yes, sonor, it's so weird how that hatchet is punching you with its fists. Why did I give you, why did I give you, why did I give you, stop it. It would have been a lot worse without the fists probably. Get off of me.

Quick, you said send it back one week in time. Okay. Oh, how you doing? Oh, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're you. Oh, you're here. I'm here for you. Wow, I can't believe we have that technology the whole time. And we barely ever use it. It could really break a lot of story. Yeah. Hey, I wonder why I can see through my own hand. Oh, it's a good thing this is a standalone episode.

Oh, I thought these consequences would be pretty bad. Why don't you mean, apparently I'm going to be murdered in the past by a hatchet, and I have ever used to believe that I won't stay dead. Or that I'm faking it in the vision we saw. Yeah. On the second day of Solstice, my food love gave to me, to murderous hatchets, and a python in a bone tree. Hey you nasty little ravioli's.

All you do when celebrating Christmas. For extended versions of the songs the main characters had just begun to sing, visit Oh, you're shaking your head no. No one wants that? Just do the credits. Very well. Wizard's Choice Award nominee, user of the blue, was played by Matt Young. John TtheTalking Badger was played by Adolfiah.

Special appearance by Derek Phillips and Stacey Oristano as Doric Fowlips and Stacey Orkistano, the Potion Makers. Check out their podcast, Clear Eyes Full Hearts, a Friday night lights weekly rewatch podcast hosted by Derek and Stacey, who played Billy and Mindy Collette Riggins on the show. Derek and Stacey are married on television, but they're friends in real life. Join the two pals as they take a trip back to Dylan Texas, where they share highlights of the episodes behind the scenes info and respond to fan questions. Imagine that. Fans. They'll also be joined by members of the Friday Nightlights family, writers, directors, and fellow cast members.

Hello from the Magic Tavern is a fully independent production made possible by supporters of the Magic Tavern Patreon. For just $5 a month, you could have a version of the show where Yusador is voiced by Brian Cranston. That's not true, but can you imagine? God, I would listen to that show. No, no, but you do get ad-free versions of every episode, and two new free bonus episodes each month.

For more information, stop by patreon.com slash magic tavern. Do you live near the San Francisco area? Well, if you're a tech millionaire, then you're part of the problem. Still, hello from the magic tavern will return to the San Francisco sketchfest for a live show. Saturday, January 8th at 4pm at the Brava Theater. Tickets are on sale now. Just think you could see us, stay in the theater, and find out what show was good enough to play at night.

Visit sfschetsfest.com for more information. Hello from the Magic Tavern is produced by Arne Neacamp, Matt Young, and Adel Rathiah, post-production coordination by Garrett Schultz. This episode edited by Stefan Dranger. Special assistance provided by a watered up ball of masking tape, wait no, by Ryan DeGeorgie.

Hello from the Magic Tavern logo by Allard LeBan, Magic Tavern theme by Andy Poe. Wow Josh, we made it. We're in the Terriom Mountains at Suicide. Oh, we're on the Terriom Mountains. Oh, yeah, we're on Terriom Mountains in Suicide. Wow, we made it. Makes perfect sense. You're my best friend.

You're my best friend. I feel like witnessing that murder brought us closer together. Agreed. We should start a podcast like those people at the table next to us Gorsh welcome to suicide Ontario Gorsh what is what is that word? I don't know what is it? Gors is he trying to say gosh maybe he doesn't maybe he doesn't me I'm terrified I just got a duck and killed it

Josh fuck me I killed this duck Those those that wizard's gonna see us in a flashback just come for us! No! I don't know what have we done! Oh! Crickety Jinn and we really did it now! Crickety Jinn and we're fucked! We're fucked!