Hello From The Magic Tavern - Season 4, Ep 95 - Soulwalker Hexas Ranger

Episode Date: October 23, 2023

The Soulwalker from Cowboy World comes to Foon to kill ArnieCreditsArnie: Arnie NiekampUsidore: Matt YoungChunt: Adal RifaiCrispin Versenjettericks Walker: Ross BryantMysterious Man: Tim SniffenProducers: Arnie Niekamp, Matt Young, and Adal RifaiAssociate Producer: Anna HavermannPost-Production Coordination: Garrett SchultzEditor: Garrett SchultzMagic Tavern Logo: Allard LabanTheme Music: Andy PolandCheck out the new merch at our Teepublic store!You can support the show directly and receive bonus episodes and rewards by joining our Patreon at https://www.patreon.com/magictavern for only $5 per month. Follow us on Twitter and Instagram, and now Patreon!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

I'm going deep into my wife's family history, digging up the cold case of her murdered great-grandmother. And did I mention that I'm looking into whether the murderer was actually the beloved family patriarch? Binge all episodes of Ghost Story, add free right now on Wondru Plus. It's Mr. Ballon here, and I'm here to tell you about my brand new podcast. It's called Mr. Ballin's Medical Mysteries. You can expect things like bizarre unheard of diseases, strange medical mishaps, unexplainable deaths, and everything in between. Listen to Mr. Ballin's Medical Mysteries on Amazon Music

or wherever you get your podcasts. People of Earth and the Ultra-Cool Society leaving just below the surface of the moon. Oh wait, you don't know about that yet. I mean, just people of Earth, no one else nearby. Certainly not the hottest party in town. Anyway, this transmission just arrived and we all know when a podcast goes un-listened to, the angel of a 40-something tech-bro has his wings taken away from him. So sit back and enjoy the show. Hello for the magic tavern. Oh, Arnie, sorry, why don't you read this intro I made.

It's another one of those bad lips. Okay, okay. Get wet from the butthole baby. Oh, that's something else, sorry. Sorry, here you go. I used to have something personal. Okay. Butthole from the Get Wet baby.

Here we go. A weekly podcast from the use of door sucks. I'm your host. Chant the talking badger. I don't know why you didn't designate yourself as a shapeshifter on this. Bebo, I can't, it's getting hard for me to read. Why don't you read some of this?

Oh, Arnie, did you hear what I said? What? I said, bebo. Bebo. Bebo. Huh, you said, I think I broke Arnie. Usually he goes, what's that? Yeah, I don't know what happened to him today broke Arnie, usually he goes, what's that? Yeah, I don't know what happened to him today.

Arnie, are you alright? Oh, what's Bibo? Sorry, I'm a little stressed out. I have acquired so many titles and I'm really focused on that. Oh, yes. What's Bibo? Bibo is short for Bing Bong. I felt like Bing Bong was just eating up a lot of my intro. And I thought we could cut a streamline the intro

by me saying Bibo, then of course, me doing a fun little bad lips and that thing that worked out. Obviously we added a minute and a half of us figuring out what Bibo is, but other than that, I think we are, I just wanna free it more time for our guests, Ernie. Oh, okay.

I feel like when I say being bombed the full thing, it just eats up a lot of time. That's true. Yousador, exclamation point. Oh, wow, very good. Yousseur, I didn't think you'd heed my note, but thank you for doing that. I'm always willing to try new things.

And Ernie actually hears the revised intro. That's a little bit shortened. Why don't you go ahead and read that. Hello. Nailed it. Nice. Got it in one. Alright, let's take it from the top. Hello! Bebo!

A usador exclamation point! Again! Hello! Bebo! Usador exclamation point! Again! Hello! Bebo!

Usador exclamation point! Sorry, I'm re-open to notes. Minus to the longest. You're this to the longest. Also, you don't need to read out the exclamation point. Don't I? Well, Arnie, he only speaks in exclamation points. So, he has to say it if he wants people to know he's putting emphasis on it.

Because he puts emphasis on everything. I don't put emphasis on everything. There are some things which I don't emphasize at all. See, already see. Yusunor, can you say your name subtly? subtly? Of course. I am Yusudor, Wizard of the 12th realm of Ephesius, Master of Light and Shadow, manipulator

of magical delights, devour of chaos, champion of the great holes of drugs. Semi-colon! You elves know me as Pianyak, the dwarves know me as Stone and Enog, Genji, so I don't know in the North. He's so proud of me starting to suck in the S.A. He's so sad. Yeah, and then we'll see what he's doing. Whoa. Bebo.

No, Arnie, that's mine. I say bebo. No, actually, wait, hold on, you try it. Bebo. Whew. No, Arnie, that's mine. I say bebo. Arnie, actually, wait, hold on, you try it. Bebo. Hello. All right. Arnie, I don't want to concern you, but many people are trying to kill you.

You're the greatest warrior in food. You're also the greatest lawyer in food. Oh, man. There's so many lawsuits. Arnie, we're getting so many lawsuits sent to the tavern about you. And now I've heard that there is some sort of a dimensional rift disturbance, I've sensed on the astral plane. So there's probably somebody trying to get you to the world.

I hate to back this up. You've heard that there's some kind of disturbance on the extra plane that you felt. That's right. You heard about it and you felt it. I felt it and then I opened my ears and I listened and I said, is that a disturbance? I feel one. It was kind of like a...

Yeah. And it's usually it sounds like, yeah. But it was like, yeah, it sounded like a little broken in there. Oh. It's the best I can explain it in sort of your human terms. It's beyond your understanding, the things that happen outside of this dimension. So I'm trying to make you understand.

You know, it gets sucked back to the tavern world or something like that? Oh, I hope not. Oh, because we could re-interview Jerry Seinfeld. That would be exciting. That world was upsetting and very strange to me. And there are so many other worlds we've been to and experienced, you know, Earth in 1989.

Yes. We'd one and, let's see what else. No. Isn't that dark world that Tanikin, the Pingley, is from? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah, we didn't experience that directly, but we have met people from there. That's right. That's where Tan the tan again the pink leaf is from oh yeah, yeah, we didn't experience that directly But we have met people from there. That's right. That's our tan again came here also

Where was the place we went where we turned all cars into ice cream? That was earth Okay, that was also yeah, so on earth cars are ice cream. I thought they ran on ice cream They ran on ice cream. Okay, my bad. It just so much shit happens. It's just for a month of 1989, no one's even gonna fucking remember. Guys, all our horses are somewhere. Speaking of, was that, I just heard a pretty loud

whinny outside. Are we expecting anyone? Whoa, whoa, was it, is that the soul walker? Don't think so. He just kicked in the doors like they're saloon doors, but they're not saloon doors. They're regular doors. How do you do that? He broke our door and we gave him a hug. Come on, man. Hey, come on, man. Oh, he's walking out.

Easy there, friend. My quarrel ain't with you. My quarrels with that varmant sitting right over there. One Mr. Arny, knee came by name. E. I've tracked you across desert and plain, down dry Cr creek bed and over mountain stream And now I finally found your Arnie knee-kip and I'm calling you out Ernie, I think I know who this is who it's got to be far north, right? You know Arnor's brother who's a foie. It's got to be him, right? How I was thinking was you so many Sam?

Who? Look, friend, I recognize your resonant signature. You come from that cowboy world, that Audi and I did, but not so long ago returned from. Oh, but I can also sense on you other places. And when you say, across field and plane, is that plane spelled PLA and E? say, across field and plane, is that plane spelled PLA and E? Yes. Oh great, this guy's read a book. Wait, wait, mysterious stranger. Before you try to hurt me, I have to know. What's the difference between a homophone and a homonym?

Because I could never get those two figured out. They're both spelled the same, but pronounced differently, and what is their spell differently? Would pronounce the same? Is that, I don't like it. I don't like it either. I don't like it either. I don't like it either.

I don't like it either. I don't like it either. I don't like it either. I don't like it either. I don't like it either. I don't like it either. I don't like it either. I don't like it either. I don't like it either. but a homophone would be tear the thing out of your in tear different and jump off the table put a chamber pot on his head I got a ring on

ah ah ah ah wait a second oh oh oh

oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh

oh oh oh oh oh oh We're just having a try to have room to have fun with it. Take it easy there friendo. I put hot lid in a bigger form, it's the new. Now here, list to you, Sador, the greatest wizard in all the food. And know that I shall unleash unholy terror upon thee. If thou cannot prove that this is indeed the Arne-Ni Camp you seek. For there are many Arne-Ni camps across many parallel worlds. Oh shit Arne, it's phoony and standoff that's one one guy's pointing guns at a wizard the wizard is pointing a wand at him and animals shivering in the corner. Wait it's always exactly this? Yes Arnie where are you not getting?

It's a classic tabloid already in the UK. I'm trying to catch up. It's a classic tabloid already, and he can't try and catch up Listen here, I've seen some confusion about why I'm here playing across your visage I'm here to tell you I'm here to bring justice to you, or need me Kim It's to who I am and what power I represent and how I come to be here Well, catch your wagons to the post, because it's a long walk. Oh, I have a seat. Let's get some drinks. Alright. What do you drink? I used to.

Huh. Till I shed my mortal vessel and took on the sort of a shambling corpse-lack visage that you see clad in a black hat a black duster black bill black boots Unexplac spur you get the idea. Yeah, right. It hot has got to get hot and so hot Lord it's hot as blazes, but dark clothes really suck up the heat of the sun. Yeah Now friend, I'll get you any libation you wish from the bar. I'm sorry, I think he prefers Frendo. And also, don't get him a libation, just grab him a drink.

What are we doing? Okay. Okay, whatever you need, you need to ask. We would happily parlay with thee and learn of your life and your ways to see what issue you take with our friend Arani and perhaps talk it through. Yeah, very often in these sort of standoff scenarios before gunfire pops off. There's a long and protracted conversation. Sometimes, sometimes in the extended cut up to three to four hours of conversation

before an orgyastic ballet of violence. Arnie, aren't you glad I shortened the opening now? I am. A friend, oh. What should we call you? It went on back on Ha Fum. I was known as Crispin versus Generic's Walker. Then one day I was struck by some pole cat's bullet. A coward shot me in the back.

I was offered the chance to go off to the Great Beyonder to return. As the right arm of a power greater than myself, a lord that clothes himself not only in lightning, but in thunder clouds of darkness. A dark lord if you will. To set right those that seek to end the plains asunder. And so I walk this weary road. Now no longer bury my former name, but the soul walker. Hexus Ranger. I'm not sure if I'm a former name, but the soulwalker, Hex's Ranger. Shit, that's cool.

Oh, that is kinda cool. If you feel the eyes of the Ranger upon you, it is I. Arnie, that means he might Hex us. We gotta be on our best behavior. You saw our view of Hex before, you said it was the worst, right? Oh, yes, being Hex is terrible. You don't even know what's happening at the time. Cuckoock! Trust me, Fright, you don't even know what's happening at the time. Cuckuck!

Trust me, friend, you don't want to be hexed. Oh, you know what I know it is like in a great state of X's. But I've been tracking you for the crime of impersonating your planer, doppelganger. You swap places with him. Sit the planer system out of balance. And the delicate, delicate dance upon which all the planes revolve.

In the barn dance of the various planes, as they circulate around their central axis, doing their graceful, galactic dose you know. You have sit it unright, Arnie Neekamp, and I have followed you from high fune, from planes, from the farthest reaches of a planar expanse to hear fune, and it is here, where at high noon itself I shall put a bullet in you with a trusty six-shooter I wear at my side, all these notches in the hills of my peacemaker are those that have taken down in the past, the itsoles that I've added.

Shhh. To lose that dwell within me. Oh no, Arnie! Arnie, look! Underneath this shirt, I'd know that tongue anywhere. He's got a necklace of Arnie tongues. What? He's got a necklace made of Arnie tongues. What?

He's got a necklace made of Arnie tongues. Wait, how do you know those are my tongues? I know you're tongue anywhere. I don't know which part to be more disturbed by. Some say that the tongue is the window to the soul. I don't believe that piece of the... I think it's... I think it's more of the slide out of the mouth right? Well I guess it's all how you

pose your tongue since you don't swap places with your plain old doppelganger I gotta set the planes right by snuffing out every or knee knee camp in all of multiplayer existence. What? That's right. He's not just looking for you on he's looking for every on me., and it's only about a half hour till five noon Barely enough time to take this break Then we should go to it. Yeah, why didn't we pause for so long? There's nothing much time. That's what I was doing Well sir the cyberpunk Arnie, the camp that I've done, killed, went by the moniker Arnie 3 camp. Oh shit, that's 40. That's young.

I took him out before he could blast me with his cyber pistol on the back of his knee on light cycle. Before he went down, he yamered on a pace about how all these moments would be lost like tears in the rain, etc. It sounds cool. Was that a really cool version of me? It was in the rain. neon was ever placed. Oh, it was it was real atmospheric. Now, see, I thought Arnie three camp was the one that taught children how to count. Was that a different one? That was in the children's entertainment plane. That only stowed himself uncle Ernie three camp, a lovable uncle to the children of the world and talk about shapes, numbers, sentence, structure, how to wriggle out of a bullying situation.

Sure. It didn't do my heart good to snuff out that horny, but my mandate is my mandate. That one sounds a little creepy. Oh, yeah. Don't get me wrong. Despite his pleasant and magnificent message. He gave off creepy vibes. And you say that there's always a version of Chantanai there as well. Oh yes indeed.

Huh. In the Cyberpunk world it was Yusakran. Woo! Yeah. A man droid that accompanied Arne and E. Camp and assisted him with his multi-faceted robotic prowess skills. And also there was a chant, the O in the center was just a new rule zero.

And chant was a holographic projection that could assume in shape. That uses to mostly in a cyberspace, having given up his wet wear body a long time ago. Oh wow. Get wet wear. Wow, that is aww. And are they still around or did they?

Sounds like that Arnie is dead. What about, did you kill his side kicks? If the side kicks advocate for RDD camp, then sometimes against Moe Will, I gotta blast them as well. But you'd be surprised how rarely that happens. Oh my God. Ah.

Ah. It doesn't look pretty good. Now I'm confused because we spent a lot of time in high food and There was no double gang are of me there We looked high and low there was on E clearly there was champ the horse and No use it. Oh, we've been over this magic Jack star was there use it or I don't think so I'm a Name you this is Dillon Moore set me on the trail of you are me. Yeah, I

Know I hated that guy. I'm can I ask you a weird question? So Walker, I S. R. I'm finally a man of all these pedestrian questions are born me to dang tears All these pedestrian questions are born me to dang tears When you inevitably come across another one of you like a parallel you yeah, cuz we've got a soul walker here somewhere Yeah, yeah, do you ever like I don't know you were like kiss each other? Okay, I'm listening. Would you kiss your clone is what I think you're a he's an interesting ethical quandary there, Varmut. Yeah, is it ethical? Is it more to make out with yourself? Something we've all fantasized about.

If you were to meet an extra planer version of yourself, a doppelganger's a twerr, would you give in to temptation and love yourself the way no one else is capable of loving yourself, knowing yourself as well as you do Mm-hmm. Well, Bormit. I'm afraid. Thanks to this question. I must draw a discrete veil over my answer Please don't say draw. Please don't say draw. Can you say anything else? Even when I said I reach for my peace. I saw and I also I also got to say when I said I reach from a piece. I saw and I also I also got to say, hands to the shins. What's going on there? Your wingspan has to be like 22 feet. Very long.

After passing through the cyberbook plane and taking out already three camp, I did of course meet their soul walker, a creature of of Eldritch cyber magics who dwells only in the cyberverse who uh, styled his name with a new world five of the top, there are some Russian letters in there kind of hard to get out in, is she speech? Probably not great in an audio medium, that's not a great in audio medium, he is and after we had made sweet love to one another Okay, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait I'm sorry Hold on, wait a minute

See, you did, you did it As I said, I'm a lot of drugs to screen curtain over these meetings I still walk or don't kiss until And she just did, you just told us Just told us I don't remember it We don't know if they kissed That's true

After our cyber cyber asignation oh what's this nice that's what you call it huh? in a little cyber picadillo I had some cyber implants put into my shanks and my brosos there for a no that's right I had some cyber implants put in so I got some extra elbows here I pick up a few things on the way through all the planes That I for verse that's why I got this little a monical here from the steampunk world What is what is steam punk? Well sir?

It's a fine line between cowbell world and steam punk world I'm gonna say cowbell world. Well, they're steaming that and point world. I'm gonna say camel world, well they're steaming that and a punk, well that's just name for it for a wayward youth. But until you got fellers walking around simply drenched in cogs and gears, you got people walking around on steam powered automaton's creeping around like spider fellers. Whoa. Insert out a fray-jane steam-punk scenario. Okay, I kind of have a mental image of it, but just to be clear, there's not like gears on people's big old hats, right?

That would be silly. Friend of... There's gears. What? On hats? If there's a surface, you better believe there's gears. Yeah, all kinds of hats. Cowboy hats, hats flat caps especially

Well, they're doing things to use boy caps over and over and steam pump where I tell you true And they never met in English accent. They didn't want to really lean into The most ashes are wide as the dang old horizon some of those most ashes got got garrison in them in the steam punk world, but I mean, me, I picked myself up a little Little monical, just a little eye-pieced put over my fun-did eye socket What does that do for you then? Oh just for show. I mean most of the steam punk stuff is just for show too Let's get down to brass stacks friends. Cog ain't gonna do you much good when it's straight to the inner surface of your flat cap Also think of the neck problems someone please It can do you much good when it's straight to the inner surface of your flat cap Also think of the neck problems someone please

Well, I have to wonder you've had so many amazing adventures Is it possible That it's time to retire and share your story with the world you've seen so much already These are the sort of things that I whisper into my own ear after an height of intimate love making with one of my double gangers. Okay now I get it. Okay, a second. Why don't we just give it all up? We're on the way together. BS1 together. I say not knowing where my body ends and their body begins. Because your arm is so so long the same body and also yes the immense length of my arms But please allow me to draw a discreet veil over such scenes as this. I do not wish to speak of them

Already this guy could give himself a reach around we admire your candor It's so it's so refreshing to see so and who doesn't just ask gross questions of talk on and on about their sexual exploits, but I do have to ask you one standard question. We always ask everyone on the podcast. Do you actually have a penis? And also uncle dead or alive? Yes, as your uncle dead or alive. That's the other one. We ask everyone starting last week. As of first media, many a plane. I always tip my hat to whatever the lore is of a particular zone or dimension. Do I have a

pedinda? No sir I'm free to know. As I'm a shambling enemy corpse so I have extra joints in my arms I ain't so much blessed with a manhood. Me and my doppelgangers Oh no! Hold on. Sky Captain you have him and your dirageable. Hold on, there's a separate diesel punk and a steam punk world at a cowboy world. If there's a source of power you can best believe there's a punk of it. Okay, there you got yourself your steam punks with your thousand gears, your diesel punks with your gasoline, your big old fuselages your jet packs and your rocketeers you got yourself your wind punks like I'm with the wind punks yeah like the age of sale you know okay lighter than air vehicles and all that you're one piece and what not did what

bullshit's on their hat their hats are mostly made of straw. I hope windcats sometimes have little sails on them. Sometimes little little capstins and anchors. That's pretty cute. I like it. I'm gonna say it on your hat. You'd lose your hat. Yeah, it sounds like windpunks and steampunks should swap hats.

The heavy gear is gonna hold that down in the wind. And in the steam, you went a little lighter fare, so maybe the, I'm sorry. I'm gonna get a big anchor from my hat. I'll be right back. So Walker, it seems like you're mostly just traveling. It's a stranger. Sorry, it's Walker, it's a stranger.

It sounds like you're mostly visiting worlds that are pretty similar to the one you left. Leave me have, I've traversed four, four and wide, You're mostly visiting worlds that are pretty similar to the one you left. world's swing revival world. No, no, no, you know what? I know that I think about it. I haven't had it so bad after all. It could be worth. Oh, the swing revival worlds are jumping javitan, wailing all over the place. Oh, big daddy already need camp there. I have to give out you best believe it was smoking. What'. What was my companions in that world? You're a company by... The Yousse-Dore analog was a big bad voodoo daddy,

and the Chol-An-Log was a squirrel nut zipper. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Makes sense. I'm wearing pants. What do you think of my anchor? Oh, my hat. Uh, user, your neck is clearly broken. Yeah. Well, I can fix that later. Don't worry about it. Well, I see by the old clock on the wall, we're getting my at close to noon time. You know, I could sit here, jawing all day with you about the various planes I've been through in the

various times that I've found incredible and sublime physical love or pleasure in pain take on new meanings in the arms of my various doppelgangers across the plane reverse but I got myself a job to do Arnie Meekam. I'm a colon you out. Oh shit do we have to go outside? Let's how it's traditionally done.nie, you're about to be killed and your big worry is getting up from the table. Nice. Yeah, I guess so. You got a knee cramp.

Is it a little better? We're just gonna serve you. Arnie, you got a knee cramp? I do have a knee cramp. Okay, hold on, hold on, time out, time out. Okay, let's get Arnie some salts. We'll massage that cramp out and then we'll be back. We'll be right back.

So, Soul Walker, Exus Ranger, I have to ask, have you ever had any sidekicks? Many have tried, but none can walk the weary road of the Soul Walker, Exus Ranger. So Walker, hexas ranger. Very often the the tronter, the chonter, the chint. We'll have this conversation with me. Huh, we'll try the annual on Arnie, like right before he gets plugged by me and follow me around for a while. Well hey, hey, hey, hey, don't get the wrong idea. I, Arnie, I would never, I would never bail on you, okay?

I'm just trying to get to know the anatomy, right? So long, how many times does the child equivalent say exactly that? Hey, people, tonight you three times, are you the king of... No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I will, come on, I'm not gonna bail on him. Arnie, I promise right now, is that silver?

What is that? Is that it? What is that thing in your pocket there? Oh, yeah, yeah, it's's I got some silver turquoise. Oh, I went that's so bad. Yeah, pretty. It's pretty sick. Right, these suspenders. I picked these up and swimmer by the world. Now I know it seems tempting to kill Arnie. I've thought about doing it many times myself, but you must know this. not doing it many times myself. But you must know this, there is a so-walker on our, a broken so-walker.

Lost on a volcano, many, many, many, many, many, many miles from here. Should you stay here and kill Arnie? Or should you find that so-walker, an attempt to make them whole once again through sexual healing? Yeah, and this walker is toit. High cheap bones. I know what I choose. I'd kill me.

I imagine if you kill Arnie that you sort of like leap out of here, lean some sort of like quantum sort of externe- Quantum jump? Yes, sort of a quantum jump, you would. I'm so sorry, but I have an actual follow-up question to that also, which is, whenever you get to a new world, do you say something to yourself? Like, do you try to orient where you are and then say something? Yeah, and do some of the soul walkers not hold up?

Like in your memory, are you like fucking all-bangers every time? But then you actually, he said he's all-bangers. Oh, all of the cellwalkers are certified bangers. Is there? Oh, Lord, he sometimes I'll find myself in a world after killing the previous planes. Arnie, he can't just look at myself and looking to the glasses like, oh boy. But yeah, you do this enough times. They can't all be winners, you know. Yeah, that was about it. Hey, Ar Hey Arnie, I got a plan. It's all gravy, baby.

This is a part where they whisper to each other and I'm left here with you. When he shoots his gun, dodge the bullet. All right, all right, big guy. I can't do that. Don't rely too heavily on that plan working. So what is broken, you say? Yeah, oh very, apparently we are told by Baron R'Goon that that's so awkward. Undone when the Dark Lord of our world was dispatched, let's say.

Arne, knee camp. Yes? I am the long arm of justice. Literally, literally, the longest all of a very long, very long arms. I've tracked you across the veil's of reality, and nothing will stop me from executing planar justice on you.

It's nothing you out of this in every other existence. But I hear that there's a soul walker on this plane who is all I know. And if I blink out of this existence after killing you without getting to clap these papers on that songwalker, I know I'll be kicking myself across the various planes from now until the uncreation of reality. So I'm going to try many a weeery mile up to this little volcano, you mentioned. See if I can't set a spell with this broken songwalker, and I'm maybe get something going. Sure, cause a wheel.

And as soon as that is done, as soon as our darkened on candidate assignations complete, I'm coming for you, Arnie, knee camp. Okay, nothing can stop me. Justice is coming. Can we put like a rough timeline on that? Like, can we expect you in like, I feel like usually when we get like a promise of that, it's the kind of thing where it's like we see you again in about like a year's time. Is that fair? And is it like mouth to asignation or just like regular asignation?

For any conceivable interlocking that you can think of, We've done it, but I don't mean to spin these yards all day. I love you to draw this tail in your tender ears and just no horny knee camp that I'll be coming for you. Maybe in a year or more's time whenever you run out of other people to talk to you. And you're like, let's talk to that guy again. He never turns us down. Oh, I hate this. I hate it. He's an old style word. I hate to do this. Buddy, this is actually going very well.

Could you make it like five months, six months? I don't know. I already have my wrong. Are my crazy. That's fair. I mean, I could put up with Arnie for another five months. Just remember the Ranger are upon you

Any wrong you do he's gonna see And if you feel the hex is look behind you is that's rather anxious gonna be The rafters Any grab that doxin did you see that he got a long little doggy Oh, he got must have gotten that from the diesel world What I gotta say fuck that guy, but also what an exit pretty cool right that was amazing I mean if all the people who want to kill you, Arnie, that one's probably my favorite.

Yeah. I'm just glad I didn't have to accidentally kill him and then add another title to my name. Yeah, yeah, that's gonna happen. Yeah. Well, I mean, we've bought you some time, but you're still in mortal danger, Arnie. Well, how should we prepare for the return of Soulwalk or Hexus Ranger?

Well, listeners, if you've got any ideas, sure, put it on them. Email us at Magic Tavern at puppies.supplies. It's a really email address. Or better yet, join the Patreon at patreon.com slash Magic Tavern. Or you can email me at chunt at gmail.com. And of course, that's chunt with six teas. Obviously.

Arnie, I do know if someone who might know, I don't know if it work. What is it? What, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, There's a land of rays and there's these people there. They're giving, always giving. They're called the Givins and the land of rays. They're real and Givins. Oh, they're real and Givins. Oh, okay. Okay, well, I think there's a thing.

Here's the thing, I feel like you said, or I had no idea what you're talking about. And we were totally justified and not understanding. We'll be cutting that out already. Matt, Matt, Matt totally justified and not understanding. We'll be cutting that out already. Matt young out of a fight. We'll be cutting that out. He's still up there in the rafters. I'm gonna open the door so he can get out of here. He's flying around like a bat trying to find a way. He's going to the world. Oh, it's Cotescott. His Cotescott. Get his coat, get his coat stick, get his stick and knock that lace. Door's open. Doors open.

You're like serious company, but they are medical. I'm coming for you, only DK. Soul Walker, Hages Ranger. Why limit yourself to ways Arnie can defeat so-walker-hexas-ranger listeners, if you have any ideas about a fitting conclusion to this entire series, get in touch, and remember, just stop is always a valid suggestion. Usural the Wizard was played by Matt Young. Chonta Talking Badger was played by Abel Refire. Crispin vs. Geterix Walker was played by none other than Ross Bryant.

Check out Ross crushing it on various shows on Dropout.tv And if you want to see Ross live in all his willowy, hipster dad vibes glory, he'll be at the Kennedy Center in Washington DC performing with performing with the improvised Shakespeare Company, December 4th through the 23rd. Hello for the Magic Tavern is an independent production, made possible by supporters of the Magic Tavern Patreon. Supporters like, Maria, Procipio, J. Dubbs, Mitchell, She and Jures, Joey Thompson, Lenea Lang, Heather Vickers from Aughtley, S.J. Van, Crookin, Morgan Goosman, author of Indie Darling Untitled Goosman Game, Matt E, Breadcat, Dustin M, Andrew May, Chris, and Frederick Green. Patrons such as Breadcat get ad-free episodes, the entire

back catalog including all the previous spin-offs, and at least two new bonus episodes each month. Hey, we just dropped a new episode of Masters of Mayhem, despite all sorts of cease and desist letters. Listen to this exclusive clip. Do it! Everyone, I'm just walking around and like a jaddle in the strike in my brain. Open the gate! Me?

Oh, uh, nope, the... the, look, they're pulling the chains. Oh, stop, yeah, then okay, right, yes, you forget them, but they're those guys by the front door, who pull the chains. Yeah, so I'm not in your union, so I don't touch their equipment. I'm, I'm very, that's all of that. Yeah, don't, you're not even gonna start it.

They do not want to help with those chains. No, they're getting time and a half, or really? Okay, okay, okay, okay, but yes Hello Hold You see that thing I do see that thing have you had any of this wine or is there a three-headed dog in front of okay? Ask a question only a three-headed dog and not a ghost with no Identify yourself good one. Are you friend or three-headed dog and not a ghost would know. Identify yourself.

Good one. Are you friend or three-headed dog? Better one. I am not yet a friend. I am currently just a three-headed dog to you. I assume you are the proprietors of this property. To hear the rest and experience diminishing returns in real time, and to learn more about supporting the show,

visit patreon.com slash magic tavern. Hello from the Magic Tavern is produced by Arne Neacamp, Matt Young, and Adel Refy, post-production coordination by Garrett Schultz, associate producer Anna Hoverman, this episode edited by Garrett Schultz. Hello from the Magic Tavern logo by Allard Laban, Magic Tavern theme by Allard LeBan. Magic Tavern theme by Andy Poland.