Hey Riddle Riddle - #131: Help...(The Hundie Dollie Giveaway)
Episode Date: January 20, 2021Uh oh! It's time for another Hundie Dollie Giveaway! We do some tongue twisters to limber our tongues. Mess around with acronyms; fuck with some syllables and of course rap for daddy! It's our one ser...ious episode of the year and we make the most of it! If nothing else.....Help? #WiddleWednesdayStarring:Adal RifaiJohn Patrick CoanErin KeifEditing by: Casey ToneyTheme by: Arne ParrottLogo by: Emily Kardamis & Emmaline MorrisWant more? Get Weekly Bonus Eps on Patreon!Want merch? Visit our TeePublic Store! or pins, buttons & printsWant to advertise on the show? Check out Hey Riddle Riddle via Gumball.fmSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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This is a headgun podcast.
Okay guys, this is a serious episode.
This is our one serious episode every year.
Don't be funny.
Fart tutorial.
Oh my god.
Do you know hear me? He stood on a block of ice and pulled the typical fish.
It was the cabin of an airplane.
He sat in with the dogs to play.
And the horse was taken right in.
The horse took the horse to the river.
The horse took the horse to the river.
The horse took the horse to the river.
The horse took the horse to the river. The most stupid or hate-rich-or-break-all.
Ladies and gentlemen, please take a seat.
As you know, every year, Hayrittle riddled does one very serious episode.
Where no one is allowed to laugh, no one is allowed to feel joy, or pain or anything. It's just sort of a neutral, very serious, very stoic episode.
With me are my co-hosts, Adel Rify, and JPC.
Greetings, I've actually changed my name to Blowjob, Kazooie.
No! Hold on, hold on, hold on!
As a quick reminder, there is a $6,000 fine to anyone who cracks a smile or laughs.
So Adel, you both, you both, okay, I just,
I want to be taken seriously.
Well, I changed my name to Banjo and Cabloey.
Okay, Banjo, can I call you Banjo?
Or do I have to call you the full Banjo and Cabloey?
Full.
Well, Banjo and Cabloey.
My name is Kazoo, Kazoo, Kazoo and C Blowjob.
Don't laugh, don't laugh. My, Kazoo and C Blowjob. Don't laugh, don't laugh.
My name is Kazoo and C Blowjob.
Aaron, it really sucks that that's what Shaggy says
while he's getting hit.
Kazoo and C Blowjob.
No, he says, this isn't me, this isn't me,
this is happening to you.
Wow, that's a very good impression.
And I'm not laughing and I'm not even
cracking a smile at it.
And I just want to say that that's a very good impression. Now'm not laughing and I'm not even cracking a smile at it And I just want to say that that's a very good impression now. We agree
The three of us agree that it is important once a year to do a completely serious episode right right of course
I'm sorry very somber very serious no high jinks
Because it helps us appreciate what we do and it helps us reset and it helps us give thanks and give respect I
Apologize
And this is a little wacky. I wore my somber arrow
It's just my big ol hat that makes me feel somber and now I feel that that that this was inappropriate
So I'm gonna take off this hat and of course I have a tinier head underneath and that just says cultural appropriation on it
Don't laugh. Don't laugh. Don't laugh.
Some of the topics obviously were allowed to...
Aaron, you referenced Adel's tiny hat
that says cultural appropriation.
Appropriation, appropriatization.
It is a Yamaka, we should say.
It's not a tidy hat.
I'm sorry, that is my mistake.
It's okay.
So obviously topics that were allowed to discuss
on our one serious show are as follows,
the stock market.
Mm-hmm, correct.
I'm the legalization of kisses,
medical oddities.
I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I best read that on my sheet.
I'm sorry, it's totally somewhere
that is medical odd shaped titties.
Grey books.
Jellyfish sounds.
A farmer's breakfast.
People named Michael swallowing screams.
Excretions
Which by the way favorite book of the Bible
Ruler's that an entire middle school shares
And that's all of them. So let's go ahead. Let's go ahead and start our episode
Okay, and I thought because this is supposed to be so serious. I thought to myself Adalwoods
What's the most serious content that we've had so far?
What's something that people take very seriously?
This is good.
This is good.
I know people aren't even just serious,
but they're taking the episode very seriously.
And I thought, well, when there's stakes,
when there's something on the line,
that's when we get serious.
So I'd like to offer up to you two to my co-host.
Oh, we forgot.
Medium cooked steaks are also a topic
That is topical. Uh-huh for my co-host Aaron and JPC. I thought to offer up
Money money money. Puzzies, Puzzies, Puzzies. It pays to be right
Adler flies honeydoll a giveaway
Adler flies honeydoll a anyway. Thank you so much. Bas on book AdelTube My Life in Riddies and Puzzles.
Uncle Adel writes a check.
Wow, Adel, we are really, this is pretty poor timing because these are notoriously
joyous, very mischievous episodes.
Guys, do we what? Is it even worth, I know, I hate this idea.
I hate that I'm the one that's saying this idea.
Is it even worth it to just punt this serious episode to, I know, I hate this idea. I hate that I'm the one that's saying this idea. Is it even worth it to just punt the serious episode
to, you know, 2022, just kick it down the road a little bit
and say, we will do it.
We will do it.
We will totally do it.
We'll do it, we'll do it.
But just not now.
We'll do it next year.
We'll do it next year.
We'll do two next year.
We'll do two next year.
Adal, when's your birthday?
We'll do it on your birthday.
We'll do it on your birthday.
Okay, then what a treat. So for the game show that we're going to do today, so we're going to
we're going to punt that down the road. We'll kick that can. We'll kick that can.
Can you just do a little JP Riddles sound of him throwing something JPC just so
people can know we're throwing something? I thought Adel was going to do it. I'm happy to.
Okay, all right, there goes the episode. That'll that'll land in six months.
So just to start us off just to get ready for the questions and for winning some
money on this game show. We're gonna do some tongue twisters. I'm gonna have you
each do maybe one or two. So Aaron we're gonna start with you and what I want you
to say is I want you to say three times as quickly as you can.
Pre-Shrunk Silk Shirts.
Pre-Shrunk Silk Shirts.
Pre-Shrunk Silk Shirts.
Pre-Shrunk Silk Shirts.
This is the girl who has a little cute lisp.
You can send that one.
Her lisp is so cute and so good and that's me.
A doeable.
A doeable.
That's true. A doeable. A doeable. That's too bad, you have a double.
Absolutely adorable.
Uh, JPC, you're going to say the tongue twister three times fast.
Ted said Ed edited it.
Ted said Ed edited it.
Ted said Ed edited it.
Ted said Ed edited it.
It sounds like a news bulletin is coming in.
Ed, Ed, Ed, Ed, Ed, Ed, Ed, Ed, Ed, Ed, Ed, Ed, Ed, Ed, Ed, Ed, Ed, Ed, Ed, Ed, Ed,
Ed, Ed, Ed, Ed, Ed, Ed, Ed, Ed, Ed, Ed, Ed, Ed, Ed, Ed, Ed, Ed, Ed, Ed, Ed, Ed, Ed, Ed,
Ed, Ed, Ed, Ed, Ed, Ed, Ed, Ed, Ed, Ed, Ed, Ed, Ed, Ed, Ed, Ed, Ed, Ed, Ed, Ed, Ed, Ed, Ed, Ed, Ed, Ed, Ed, Ed, Ed, Ed, Ed, Ed, Ed, Ed, Ed, Ed, Ed, Ed, Ed, Ed, Ed, Ed, Ed, Ed, Ed, Ed, Ed, Ed, Ed, Ed, Ed, Ed, Ed, Ed, Ed, Ed, Ed, Ed, Ed, Ed, Ed, Ed, Ed, Ed, Ed, Ed, Ed, Ed, Ed, Ed, Ed, Ed, Ed, Ed, Ed, Ed, Ed, Ed, Ed, Ed, Ed, Ed, Ed, Ed, Ed, Ed, Ed, Ed, Ed, Ed, Ed, Ed, Ed, Ed, Ed, Ed, Ed, Ed, Ed, Ed, Ed, Ed, Ed, Ed, Ed, Ed, Ed, Ed, Ed, Ed, Ed, Ed, Ed, Ed, Ed, Ed, Ed, Ed, Ed, Ed Newspooler tin is coming in. And then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then and he did get some goo goo dolls on his shirt. I was looking at my CD collection when I... All right, here we go.
And, well, okay.
Irish wrist watch.
Irish wrist watch.
Irish wrist watch.
Great.
Aaron is staring off into the middle distance
just fighting to go spot in time.
Can I tell you what I'm looking at?
Should I tell you me, focus?
My Dunkin' Donuts towel that I bought
of the Dunkin' Donuts when I forgot
a towel at the beach.
Of course you would have Dunkin' Donuts merch.
Oh hell yeah, what am I?
An animal, of course I have Dunkin' Donuts merch.
See, if you're not familiar in Boston,
they sell Dunkin' Donuts towels just at the counter
because so many of the people who drink coffee and
Boston will spill it all over themselves.
Of course, it's also good.
In the napkin's not enough for a large kulata.
It's also to clean up all the blood from all the fights that happen in line.
And, G.A.P.C., your second tongue twister that you're going to say as quickly as possible,
is Willie's real, real, real, real.
Willie's real, real, real, Willie's real, real. Willie's real rear wheel.
Willie's rear wheel.
Really is real rear wheel.
Hold on, I got it.
Willie's real rear wheel.
Willie's real rear wheel.
Willie's wheel rear wheel.
Sounds like we're rewinding you.
I don't even know why I'm reminding him to do this.
Because Casey is going to naturally do this. Please send that to me so that can be my alarm clock Casey. Thank you so so much
I know you're probably already in the middle of doing that, but I appreciate it. Okay, okay
Reo real. Phoebe pee pee pee pee pee pee. Here we go. Here's contestants. Are you ready? Absolutely. I'm ready. I'm so excited
contestants. Are you ready? Maybe we should do verbal verbal form ups like this before we start podcast
Are you ready? Maybe we should do verbal, verbal warbups like this before we start podcasting.
You know at the start of every game show and there's 18 minutes of banter?
That's what we're doing.
We do an audio fucking format.
Everyone warbs up by like crawling out of bed.
I sing an entire Rodgers and Hammerstein musical at my mirror before every recording.
I will say that today, today I am on, this is my fourth bottle of water.
So I've had, what's that, uh, 32, 64, 90, six ounces of water.
And on the other side of the scale, I don't think I've had any water today.
I'm not even kidding. I don't think I had a single sip of water today.
What can I just say, something that is fucking wild to me is I know people in my life that don't drink water.
They'll drink like Coke, they'll drink other things, but they just like they never drink water.
Oh, well, most of your friends are camels.
Most of my friends are camels.
Sometimes they'll have a glass of water, if they're like, oh yeah, I guess I'll have a glass of water at this point.
But they just don't drink it on a regular basis.
The other day, I only drink two bottles of water, I drink 64 ounces of water,
and I woke up the next morning like I was dying. I was like, how do people fuck and do it?
Well, why do you think I have a terrible personality and I can't touch my toes? I never drink water.
Well, we do have, and this is something...
JBC was like, I don't see anything wrong with what you just said. Go ahead, Adolf. I'm sorry to
interrupt you.
This is something I put in the merch store
without really consulting you too.
Oh, part of it.
If you look now in the HeyRiddle merch store,
we do have a water bottle that says Hail Hydrate.
So go ahead and pick up one of those today.
So we're gonna go ahead and start our game show.
We're gonna get in trouble.
We're gonna get in trouble.
Yeah, but not for the reason that you think
with the Marvel Corporation.
I know, that's what I mean.
Yeah, okay, good. Marvel owns the term hydrate. the reason that you think with the Marvel corporation. That's what I mean. I'm gonna get sued.
Marvel owns the term hydrate.
So here we go.
Here's, here's going to be the first part of the game show.
We're going to do a little section I like to call
acronym Fomaniacs.
What's going to happen is I'm going to give you an acronym.
If you feel like you know it,
you're going to puss in and give the correct answer.
These are going to be worth 10 points each.
So for example, if I were to say the acronym MTV,
you would say that stands for.
Pause.
Pause.
Thank you, JPC.
Sorry, I'm dumb.
Music, television.
Correct.
So the first one we have here is,
and this is a tricky one.
It's make sure it's not the first one you think of.
It's it's here the letters. DVM. DVM. Oh, it's DVM. Yes. Department of voter
vehicles. Department of voter vehicles. I would feel more comfortable if you gave him the points for
that. I would love it. I would love it. If you gave him the points for that. I feel safe.
I would love it. I would love it if there was a department of motor, uh,
a department of motor vehicles that people kept coming to and they're like,
oh, no, you're in the wrong place.
This is a department of motor vehicles.
They're like, oh my God, that's, wait, what are you doing here?
I want to see you seen, um, JPC, you are behind the, the counter at the department of
motor vehicles. Um, Aaron has Aaron has come in to register.
And what this is is this is just so that the car can get to know the person who's about
to drive it or the state can get to know them. So Aaron, you're at the counter.
Hey, next.
Hey. I'm here for something.
Okay, well you're in the right place because I have a computer and I can do something with it.
Okay, how's it going?
I've been in line for like seven hours that I forgot where I was.
I'm Chris, how's it going?
Hi Chris.
Yeah, I'm not ordering food.
Oh, I want my license.
Ugh, gonna need to know how it's going
Just kidding, but no, how's it going? Oh, I'm doing okay. Okay. I've been lying for a long long time
I think I want my license you need your license. Okay my driver's license sure and we don't do that here is your car registered to vote
Oh
Yes, I think it's registered as an independent but out of state.
That's that's totally fine. We if the car was not manufactured here, it's technically an out of state independent.
Well, as the Department of Voter Vehicles, we just make sure that your car is all registered to vote. I can see here
81 Chaville. Yeah. Oh, I was pointing to my tattoo. Oh, I was really into the Chaville when I was 81.
I'm not even. I'm not even. I'm not even. Thank you for asking. Wow. Why was really into the nature of L, when I was 81.
I'm not even.
I'm not even.
Thank you for us.
Wow, why won't they let you retire?
Why won't God let me die?
That's the real question.
Interesting.
Oh, sorry.
I'm sorry.
Please let me just.
Very interesting.
OK, so I just have to ask you a couple of questions
about your car.
I just can make sure that it's, you know, the voter vehicle
is obviously not on the third vehicle is, you know, obviously
don't have the first place. Yeah, yeah, that means.
Of course. Is this your first car? Yes, this is my first car. Do you think it will be your
last car? No. Why not? What's wrong with it? So I got this car in high school, sort of
out of desperation and driving it for a number of decades. Okay, now it's face in the form.
Do you love this car?
That's a really tricky question.
I don't know if you love someone, you know?
Like, do I care about this car?
You're killing your bones.
Do I like?
Do I like?
It does spark when I hit the brake,
I got a horrible shock in my leg.
It is love, girl.
Save.
Just to go back to the question, does anybody know what DVM stands for?
Disphagionus mine.
Don't come near me, this vagina's mine. You have to ask to touch it.
DVM dog vaccination mandatory.
Dating very...
Yeah? Dating vicious moderates. mandatory dating very
Yeah dating vicious moderates
JPC I'll say that you're closest so far with your last
joke about you said something about dogs is it a dog thing?
DVM Veterinarian
dog
Puzz
Yeah, it's something veterinarian.
So what is a veterinarian?
A doctor.
Doctor veterinarian.
Man.
Nice.
Nice.
What is it?
What if it was a man?
What if it was a doctor?
Mr.
You said it was such confidence.
You cracked the code.
Doctor veterinarian. What is it? So what would a doctor's name be? Mr. Mr. You said that was such confidence. You cracked the code.
Dr.
Vettinarian.
What is it?
So what would a doctor's might give you this to make you feel better?
Medicine.
Dr. Vettinarian medicine.
Medicine.
Medicine.
Dr. Vettinarian.
You nailed it on the first try.
It's Dr.
Vettinaria.
Medicine.
I'm sorry, everybody. Here's the next one.
These are hard.
Here's the next one.
We've done two, JPC.
O-E-D.
O-E-D.
Becky, look at that butt.
O-E-D.
O-E-D.
Oral edible dice. Oral... Edible... Dice.
Oral Edible.
Orphans.
Oxygen?
Examination daily.
O-E-D.
Um...
Okay, so what, what, what, what?
Is hour.
First word, hour.
That is incorrect.
Fuck you.
Do-E-D.
Oh, and I forgot.
If at any time you want to yell fuck you, to me, you can.
You will lose one point.
Okay, well, do I get one for free?
Or did I already use mine?
Fuck you.
Um, Adel, just tell me what I know.
No, no, no, no, no, no.
It's always such a weird one.
This is Adel, is this a-
Ordinary?
No.
This is not like a part-
This is not the same vein as like the doctor of veterinary.
It's not like a osteopath or something like that, right?
It's not a person's title.
It's OED a person's title.
It is not.
OED.
It is a entity or company that makes something very specific.
It makes something incredibly specific. It makes something incredibly specific.
It's, it's not the only person that makes this,
I don't think, but it's like the,
maybe the most well-known.
And this is something,
the thing they produce is something
probably every household has.
Orville.
Orville.
Orville.
Orville.
Eric Bogger.
Eric Bogger.
Shush, I'm thinking out loud, but it doesn't count. I wouldn't say a scene. No
And I forgot to mention that last scene JPC one
So you get five points for that. So they bring you to four with your negative one
So Aaron's at ten points JPC is it four. So this is gonna be a scene. I heard JPC something mentioned something about toilets
I heard Aaron say orville
So this is gonna be he was just free associating by dude I heard GPC some mentions something about toilets. I heard Aaron say Orville.
So this is gonna be-
He was just free associating by dude.
This is gonna be the Orville brothers,
creators of the airplane.
And after they have mastered the airplane
and they're riding that high,
they decide they want to invent a new toilet
that does, it's a little bit different
than your typical toilet.
Mm-hmm.
Well Christopher, another great day of invention.
And I'm so sorry, this is the right brothers. I said the horrible brother.
No, but I was gonna figure it out.
Okay.
Uh, uh...
Well, Christopher, another great day of invention.
We're not gonna be second place anymore for anything.
We'll beat those right brothers one day.
That's right, Mikey. We're gonna beat those right brothers.
So I hate the- I hate Orteville.
Not our last name.
The- the-
Or the right brothers.
First names.
Yes, I hate him.
I love us.
A crazy coincidence.
You know what I think we should invent next?
Something to really rub their faces in it.
Speaking of rub their faces in it,
why wouldn't we rub their faces in a toilet bowl?
So toilets already exist,
but we're going to invent the toilet?
Well, we're gonna invent a better version of the toilet.
Like airplanes.
All right, lock me through what will change.
Goal.
Okay, so you know how mostly what we were trying to do
was build airplanes first
and the right brothers beat us to that.
Yep. What about a toilet with wings?
All right
And an engine okay a motor okay
Aerodynamics all right. It's basically an airplane
Oh wait here they are here's the right brothers those sons of bitches
It appears you two are late again.
We just invented a toilet that flies.
We call it the Flylet and it's one of the fastest and dirtiest machines ever known to math.
Oh boy Christopher, what are we doing next?
Or will the other right brother here and they're making a mockery of us?
Quick let's invent something
right now. Okay, let's pivot, let's...
Well that just popped me in the mouth, wait a second.
I mean, what is that?
I mean, what is that?
We invented two brothers following in love with each other.
No, I'm sorry.
Outstanding. Aaron won that scene so that brings you up to 15.
Damn, JPC has four. So, OED, you have five seconds to figure out if you know what this means.
Wait, hold on, hold on, we need one more.
Dice, drawers, disc, things in your house.
So a hint for you would be this is something you might find in your library,
either the community library or your home library.
Something addition.
A decimal system.
No.
Keep this as basically.
Oh, the dictionary.
English, English, English, English.
English dictionary.
Oxford English dictionary.
Aaron, Aaron, I'm so sorry. Aaron, I'm so sorry. Aaron, I'm so sorry.
Aaron, I'm so sorry.
Aaron, I'm so sorry.
Aaron, I'm so sorry.
Aaron, I'm so sorry.
Aaron, I'm so sorry.
Aaron, I'm so sorry.
Aaron, I'm so sorry.
Aaron, I'm so sorry.
Aaron, I'm so sorry.
Aaron, I'm so sorry.
Aaron, I'm so sorry.
Aaron, I'm so sorry.
Aaron, I'm so sorry.
Aaron, I'm so sorry.
Aaron, I'm so sorry.
Aaron, I'm so sorry.
Aaron, I'm so sorry.
Aaron, I'm so sorry. Aaron, I'm so sorry. Aaron, I'm so sorry. Aaron, I'm so sorry. Aaron, I'm pretty much dictionary. Oh, Erin, you scream your blessed heart out.
A lot of times people will say to the show like,
oh man, I can't believe that you missed this.
I can't believe that you didn't respond
to the other person saying what they don't know
is that they're hearing a version of our audio
that everyone can hear.
We're listening to each other on Zoom
where once you start talking at a certain level,
it just mutes you completely.
So we just saw Erin just like screaming and do
silence
She turned and screaming to all her blouses behind her. It's not blouses. It's coats and sweaters
All right, perfect to coat faster. It's not blouses. It's de jorno's. I wore pizza
My life is a disaster because I'm moving to California this year and look at how many coats I have
Yeah, yeah, you're not gonna need those.
I'm gonna turn it into a skirt.
Make them into coasters.
Aaron, you have to let me turn some of those into a skirt.
You will get bored two minutes
in determining them and discard.
I've already bored.
Here we go, this is gonna be a lightning round
for Acro Nymphiminiacs.
Can I ask you, Adela, is it a lightning round?
Yes.
Because we've only done two.
It's taking like 50 fucking minutes.
Dainty ding.
I'm going to give you one point for reading the room.
I always read the room.
Here we go.
For each one of these, you have exactly three seconds to
pause in.
If you don't, we hear the answer we move on.
Fuck.
How about the acronym Epcot?
Oh, no idea.
I have a piece of pen and paper in front of me,
like that will help.
Is it E-P-C-O-T?
I know this.
It is E-P-C-O-T.
Yes.
Aaron is writing it down.
Everyone, don't talk to me for like 12 or 13 minutes.
Every part of the cake.
This makes sense because every time I see Aaron, she gets excited, she takes out a little note pad, she takes out a pin, Don't talk to me for like 12 or 13 minutes. Every part of the cake.
This makes sense because every time I see Aaron,
she gets excited, she takes out a little note patch,
she takes out a pin, she puts it on her tongue,
and she writes out five letters,
and then she looks at me and says, hello.
What?
Yeah, yeah, I do do that.
But Epcot, it's not like,
it's not the places, Epcot's not places.
Aaron, I'll give you 10 points.
Technology? Aaron, I'll give you 10 points. Technology?
Aaron, I'll give you 10 points.
If you can confirm for me what you think a lightning round is.
It's when it goes fast, fast, fast.
Plus, I'm in.
What?
I'm in.
Every person can only teach.
Okay, both got it wrong.
Final answer.
That's not saying for it.
No, this.
Okay, Aaron.
Go ahead, go ahead.
I have to, Aaron, I'm so sorry I have to dock you. No! Okay. Okay, fine got it wrong. F got stands for, okay, Erin. Go ahead, go ahead. I have to, Erin, I'm so sorry I have to dock you.
No, okay, okay, fine, okay.
But Erin, I'll dock you a point, which means I'll give you
back your docked point if you act like a duck for three seconds.
Oh, quack quack, my back.
No, that ducks too coy.
So, quack quack, I'm moving so much under the water,
but not so much in time.
Great, you got your point back.
Thank you. So, F got your point back. Thank you.
So Epcot stands for experimental prototype community of tomorrow.
Tomorrow!
How about the acronym Nabisco?
How do you spell, what are the letters in that?
N-A-B-I-S-C-O.
A-B.
Also spelled.
I-S-E-O.
Biscoting.
So, Dumbisco since we met.
National.
Huh?
National Association.
Because I see.
Ha ha ha.
Can, can openers.
I got it.
North American biscuit idiot cock overload.
But between the two of you, you got half of it right.
It is a national biscuit company.
So NA is national BIS, this is the CEO.
That's a tricky tricky thing because three of the letters
are one word.
It's not like an initialism, it's a fuck that.
Oh my gosh.
I can't see it's only two.
You guys, you're so right, that was so unfair. Here's what I'm gonna do
I'm gonna talk you both
I didn't do anything I'm not gonna scream fuck you because I know I
What to well you couch to fuck you into your hypothetical so you lose a point. Okay. I thought it pays to be right, Adam.
You do redo the theme song.
Here's the last one.
Sure.
Zip as in zip code, ZIP.
Ooh, that's an acronym for something.
It is.
It is.
Okay, and that stands for zone improvement plan. I was gonna say zone
I wasn't done Aaron you would have been right. I'm not dumb stop calling me dumb
I'm talking to me you said I know I'm talking to me stop calling me dumb Aaron stop interrupting her Aaron
You stay out of this JBC. This is between me and her. I'm sorry, my inner voice is David Erid,
so I was yelling at her, who is me.
Oh, I'm sorry for interrupting.
So each one of those was worth 10 points
and somehow at the end of that long round,
Erin has 10 points, JPC has nine,
not sure how that happened, but that's a two.
Eight, so now we're gonna go to our next segment.
So he doesn't even care at all, I care.
Now we're two are hominem's segment of the show.
So what's gonna happen is I'm gonna give you two hints.
These are going to be answers that are two words
that are pronounced the same
but have two different meanings, which is a hominem.
So for example, I'll give you two hints,
me hitting you and then you hitting the floor.
That's not even hints, Adam, don't give him a point. Please. I'm an him
So for example a long cry of pain grief or anger and a marine mammal would be a
Dolphin a whale whale
Mon-mon
But mine was kind of cute and funny
So so that's how it's gonna work.
So don't forget to puss in.
So for this first one, it's gonna be an animal hunted for food
and to appeal to God.
Oh, puss.
I believe Aaron got it.
Pray, pray.
You're acting so pray, pray.
That is correct.
10 points to Aaron.
The next one is, to cause liquid to flow from a container
And a tiny opening in the skin
Puzz Aaron poor
and
poor
You would have lost points
Here we go the next one A probiscus and has information.
A probiscus and has information.
A probiscus, if you can get one of them,
you can easily get the other one.
Not, not, not, not, not, not, not, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, Okay. A person who claims to be able to predict the future and a financial gain.
Oh, I'm a...
Um.
A person who claims to be able to predict the future.
Puzz.
GPC.
Profit, profit.
Profit, profits.
Profit, profit, big boi fan.
Which is also what the hamburger,
hamburger we used to say, right?
Yeah, profit, private.
That's the hamburger, or help, or, uh, uh,
and by my accord, it is 717, which is, of course,
riddle of clock.
So we're going to, speaking of profit, profit,
we're going to earn some sweet, sweet profits by tossing it
to our advertisers.
So please give those a listen and we right back with more game show.
Hey GPC.
Uh, yeah.
You're not in trouble. I just need help. I'm, um,
Prinking at all. And I'm setting up a website to
bring him. Um, I just need to have advice. This podcast is sponsored by Squarespace. I'm
not, I'm not mad at you. We're pranking at all. Squarespace is the only one website
platform for entrepreneurs to stand out and to see it online. Whether you're just starting
out or managing a growing brand, Squarespace makes it easy to create a beautiful website, it gages with your audience, and so anything for
products to cut into time, all in one place, all on your terms.
Hey, Addle, come here, come here, come here.
Hey, what's going on?
I actually, I want to prank JPC, and I want to set up a whole website to prank him.
Do you have anything that like, is there like an online store that could set up a whole website to prank him. Do you have anything that like,
is there like an online store,
like it set up on my website to sell products?
Did you know that with Squarespace,
you can have custom merch,
you can easily sell custom merch
and create passive income stream
that engages your audience and scales your brand,
design your products and production
and inventory and shipping are handled for you,
saving you time and money.
What is happening? Okay.
Wait, what's going on with that all?
Oh, nothing, nothing.
I'm just setting up a very normal Squarespace website, not a prank thing.
No, he's gonna shoot you.
And I'm gonna use analytics.
Use insights to grow my business and learn where my site visits and sales are coming from.
That's pretty cool.
I'm gonna improve my website and build marketing strategy based on top keywords
or popular products and content on my prank website to prank the tool.
Whoa, that's awesome, Aaron.
I'm glad you're using Squarespace.
Did you say what the website was for?
I can't remember what the website was for.
The website was for.
Prank.
With Squarespace.
You can connect to your store to Vedent Third Party tools to extend the functionality of your website
Hey JPC, hey JPC. What's up, battle? I can't believe we pranked Aaron with our little boy routine. Dude, we got her
Anyway, if you want to prank Aaron with your little boy routine head to squarespace.com for a free trial
And when you're ready to launch go to squarespace.com slash riddle to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.
Oh, she's back. She's back. Hey, Aaron. Can we go to grandma's house? Wait, I've been pranked.
But how? I don't know. This show is sponsored by BetterHelp.
Hey, Adeland JPC. Thank you for meeting me in the middle of the woods here.
I am sort of at an empath.
I can't decide whether or not to go this way or this way.
I'm having a hard time choosing a path.
You know, there never truly is a middle of the woods.
Isn't it funny to think about something like that?
Like, have there never truly is a middle of the woods?
No, this is the middle.
Okay, this is it.
Adel, can you help?
Yeah, actually. as per Robert Frost
I don't know if you know his poems. He has a poem called Better Help. I believe this is written in the 1800s
But it still stands true today more than ever Aaron you should try better help. Have you heard of this? You seen this?
Mm-hmm
Because sometimes Aaron in life were faced with tough choices and the path forward isn't always clear
Whether you're dealing with decisions around career
relationships, being stuck in the middle of the woods,
therapy helps you stay connected to what you, ow, ow,
sorry, that also does so fast.
Therapy helps you stay connected to what you really want
while you navigate life and the woods.
Hmm, and better help is entirely online,
so it's designed to be convenient, flexible,
and suited to your schedule.
I've been using it for several years
and it suits the way that my brain works
way better than traditional therapy ever did.
And when Aaron says traditional therapy,
just so everyone's clear,
what she means is tricking two of her friends
to coming to the middle of the woods,
even though there isn't truly the concept
of the middle of the woods, isn't that fun to think about?
All you have to do is just fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched with a license therapist
and you can switch therapists at any time for no additional charge.
Hey, Aaron, GPC's putting down bread crumbs and then immediately picking them up and eating them.
Mmm, dirty bread crumbs.
Mmm.
And he's also like really into that owl who's swooping down.
Anyways, let there be your map with BetterHelp.
Visit betterhelp.com slash riddle today
to get 10% off your first month.
That's betterhelp.
H-E-L-P.com slash riddle, R-I-D-D-L-E.
R-I-D-D-L-E, the middle of riddles of D,
but there is no true middle of riddle
because it would be the space in the United States.
I'm Hope you get home.
Bye, baby.
I am home.
Who are we?
What is this?
Klingling, Kling.
Excuse me, ladies and gentlemen.
I just want to make a quick toast to,
I know it's JPC's birthday.
And we're all so excited to talk about him.
But I want to talk about my favorite,
my favorite thing in the world.
And that is the app Rocket Bunny.
Oh, yeah, Aaron, that's one of my favorite things as well.
Huh?
Rocket Bunny is a personal finance app
that finds and cancels your unwanted subscriptions,
monitors your spending and helps you
lower your bills all in one place. I've been using it for years way before they were a sponsor and it helps me so much, especially
around tax season.
Clean, clean, clean, clean, clean, uh, sorry, I also want to give a toast.
Rocket money, well quickly and easily find your subscriptions for you and for any you don't
want to pay for anymore, just hit cancel and Rocket money will cancel it for you.
It's that easy.
Clean, clean, Clint. Mm-hmm.
It also categorizes your expenses so you can easily track your budget in real time and
also get alerted if anything looks off over three million.
Oh, Clint, Clint, Clint.
Over three million people have used rocket money saving the average person up to $720 a year.
We love rock and roll.
Stop, Clint, Clint, Clint. Stop. No, Clint, stop, no, click, click, click, stop.
Throwing your money away, cancel unwirted subscriptions today
and manage your expenses the easy way
by going to rockatmoney.com slash riddle.
That's rockatmoney.com slash riddle.
Rockatmoney.com slash riddle.
And tell them JPC's birthday got ruined
by two of his friends for doing speeches
about rocket money, the website.
It'll be rocket money.
It'll be rocket money.
It'll be rocket money.
It'll be rocket money.
It'll be rocket money.
It'll be rocket money.
It'll be rocket money.
It'll be rocket money.
And we're back with more money, money, money,
money, puzzle, puzzle, puzzle, puzzle,
puzzle, puzzle, puzzle, puzzle, puzzle, puzzle, puzzle, puzzle,
puzzle, puzzle, puzzle, puzzle, puzzle, puzzle, puzzle, puzzle,
puzzle, puzzle, puzzle, puzzle, puzzle, puzzle, puzzle, puzzle,
puzzle, puzzle, puzzle, puzzle, puzzle, puzzle, puzzle, puzzle, puzzle, puzzle, puzzle, puzzle, puzzle, puzzle, puzzle, puzzle, puzzle, puzzle, puzzle, puzzle, puzzle, puzzle, puzzle, puzzle, puzzle, puzzle, puzzle, puzzle, puzzle, puzzle, puzzle, puzzle, puzzle, puzzle, puzzle, puzzle, puzzle, puzzle, puzzle, puzzle, puzzle, puzzle, puzzle, puzzle, puzzle, puzzle, puzzle, puzzle, puzzle, puzzle, puzzle, puzzle, puzzle, puzzle, puzzle, puzzle, money, Puzzies, Puzzies, Puzzies, it pays to be right. Adorify is a hundred dollar giveaway based on the category. Adorify, tundin' it like giveaway.
This is the book out of Tune My Life in Riddies and Puzzies.
Money, money, money, Puzzies, Puzzies, Puzzies, Puzzies, it pays to be right.
Adorify, tundin' it like giveaway.
Adorify, tundin' it like giveaway.
Based on the book out of Tune My Life in Riddies and Puzzies.
I'm the Lava, I'm the Lava, I'm the Lava, I'm the Lava.
I'm the Lava, I'm the Lava.
Aaron, you do know that we slide in the theme song, right?
Yeah, but this is bonus.
So if you heard that, listen to the end of the episode where we'll cut that in a gid.
So that's that's why it's.
So at the end of our first two rounds, Aaron has 31 points,
JPC has 28.
And what we're going to do now is I'm kind of, I'm trying to be
malleable. I'm trying to be adaptable.
I'm sensing that the two of you are not in the headspace for for straight up
Questions, so I'm gonna give you something that's a little more freeform. Thank God. Oh, is this a modern dance round?
Waiting for this
We just watch freeform formally ABC family
So these are this is still you know, there's still going to be some mental prowess
sort of flex here. But this is, this is a little more open-ended. So for this one, what's
going to happen is these are all things they have to do with syllables. So I'm going to
ask you a question and you're going to have to come up with an answer. And I believe
for some of these there's multiple answers for the first one there's only one. And you
just have to think up what the answer is using syllables. So for the first one there's only one answer
So we'll get through this hopefully fairly quickly or else I'll say the answer will move on and we'll use this as an example
Question number one name the only US president with a four syllable last name
There's only one
Whoa, oh the four syllable last name. Yep, there's only one. Oh, the last name.
Oh, I got it.
A plus.
Great.
Eisenhower?
You are correct.
It is I, Zen, Howe, Word.
Well, good job, JPC.
Thanks, I'm a big Dwight D Eisenhower fan.
And JPC 10 extra points if you can tell me what the D stood for.
Data, I knew he's going to do it.
Adela could have told you.
I'm going to give him one point for that.
Come on.
What even is this place?
I guess are down.
I asked to every question, I guess.
Calm down, David Bern.
So for the next one, and you, you obviously have to still
puss in and then give your answer.
So for this one, question two to name for fruits with one syllable names
Wherever pusses in first gets the cheats the first swing at it
For fruits with one syllable. I thought someone would have pussed in by
You thought we didn't get hit in the head a bunch this week. I can't even think of one
I can't even think of one. I'll have to.
I'll have to.
I have done.
Okay, we'll lower it to the lower the bar to two.
To buzz.
Okay, JPC.
Pear, grape.
Ah, grape.
Pear and grape, that is correct.
JPC gets.
Oh, I got two more.
Just for bonus, I don't need.
Aaron, I'll give you half points if you get two.
Peach and plum. Thereby completing the Fulju and anusum song, Aaron don't need Aaron. I'll give you half points if you get to peach and plum.
Thereby completing the full duet and a new song, Aaron, you were correct. I'm gonna give you.
We speak in the star.
I'm a sensitive boy.
And I'm losing surprise.
Okay, I want to see a quick scene.
So here's the confines of the scene.
Aaron, we, you are out the dinner with Adelaide's character,
and you are on this weird new diet
where you have to confine what you eat
to a certain number of syllables
and you're trying to explain the diet to us.
So, God, I feel like I've been talking to you
about myself for like 45 minutes already.
Have I been talking to you too much?
Am I talking too much? No, no, not at all. I haven't even talked to you much. Am I talking too much?
No, no, not at all.
We're curious.
So, I know that you're like mid-divorce right now, and I just don't want to be like
taking up too much time at the table.
No, well it's good.
I mean, he can wait.
I'll sign the papers in just a minute here.
Okay.
But I mean, I'll take-
Oh yeah, you're-
I'm taking a break.
Totally, totally.
And I know, and I know how you're like, you're kind of like,
Mrs. Doubt firing in between the two things.
Like he's also at a table in this restaurant
and you're changing clothes and really going over here.
I spread myself a little thin.
I'm Mrs. Doubt firing 14 different scenarios.
And Carol, no, again.
14 and one restaurant.
Yeah, it's pretty rare.
Wait, there's so many people sitting alone
waiting for someone to come back from the bathroom
at this restaurant. You're dead on and here's what's going on. I'm not only the waiter. I'm not only the chef
I'm not only everyone's date in the room. I'm not only myself being here. I'm also that table over there
Oh my god
I'm also I'm also the Parmesan chicken
Also the Parmesan chicken. It was delicious.
I'm also a half finished pitcher of Pepsi.
No, Carol!
You were doing so well, you were going to meetings, so I thought you were kicked this.
I can't stop.
And that's why we're getting divorces.
I can't stop around the house.
I just start mrs. outfiring into everything.
I play my own kids.
I start to befriend them as other kids in school.
Carol! But I'm so much bigger than the other kids and this teacher of me
You have fake mustache burn on your upper lip. Oh
Carol oh god. We'll tell us about your diet
Okay, that was a happy accident
Can I tell you guys a quick story of the hardest time I ever laughed with my mom?
Sure.
Yes, but Aaron, for every 30 seconds it takes, you will lose one point.
Wow, what a good precedent to set.
And let's say you.
Well, later talks, she will lose the game if the lady is too mouthy.
I mean, you get 100 points.
That's really bad.
Being a woman.
Okay, so my mom and I were coming back from
a orthodontist appointment.
I was probably 12 or 13.
And we stopped at this restaurant.
I think in Quincy. It's definitely not there anymore.
But we pulled up and this woman was the receptionist.
What is it? Hostess.
And was like, I'll take you to your seats.
And then she ran over, and we were like,
this place is really empty, and she put on an apron.
And then she went, hi, I'll be your waitress today.
Like she wasn't just our hostess,
and didn't say hello to us.
And then she, and then it took us an hour and 15 minutes
to get our food, because she was the only one there that day
But the craziest part is she wasn't acknowledging any of it and kept pretending to be the different people as if we wouldn't notice and we were crying
Laughing and outstanding. Yeah, I put my mom that we should go in and cross the employees must watch hands and then just cross it out
The ass at the end of employees. Because there was one woman there
and she wasn't even like, sorry guys,
I'm the only one here today.
She was like, and no, I'm the chef.
Like she was cooking too.
She was doing all the cooking as well.
Yeah, I think that there was maybe one dude back there,
but she was like doing the prep work for him.
Oh my God, it was crazy.
This I love, five points for Aaron.
Ooh, my mom's gonna love that. Our favorite day.
So we're going back into syllable county here. So now I need you to name at least two types of
trees or wood that have two syllable names. Now I can think of only one syllable. Oak, fur, pie, fuck, poch, fuck, poch.
Hold on, hold on.
Aaron, was that fuck directed at you?
No, not to use, at JPC.
And of course, if you direct a fuck at JPC, that's a thanks for points.
Oh, yay.
Direct a fuck at JPC, please.
It's Christmas, type, sir.
Do this a fuck at me.
Placer. Won't you you spit my hair, sir?
You they sir what that you there boy what does today fuck you?
I know that it is easy for you at home to think of trees, but when you need money this bad
Wait now now or words. Yes. So, I guess I gotta ask, can I say like,
Douglas Fur and does that count?
Cause it's got, it is Fur, which is one,
but if you do the proper name,
that does not count.
So you shouldn't be giving the trees first name.
You, nope, not like proper name, just like the,
please Aaron.
I got it, Puzz.
You have to say Puzz.
Puzz.
Aaron.
Uh, Willow and Apple.
Aaron Ding Ding Ding, you are correct.
Mm mm mm.
I also would have accepted Adler, Aspen, Boxwood,
Cedar, Cherry, Chestnut, Cypress, Dogwood, Maple,
Olive, Pecan, Poplar, Redwood, Rosewood, and Walnut.
Wait, I'm sorry.
That sounds like a salad. I'm sorry. That sounds like a salad.
I'm sorry I'm ordering a salad.
Yeah, you sound like you're a child,
naming fake fairies in the woods.
Out there?
As Ben boxwood, see, they're cherry chestnut.
You sound like you're Gwyneth Paltrow
naming her children.
She absolutely has a child named...
This is my son, Chestnut.
This is Pecan.
Here we go, last one.
A con.
Last question in the syllable round.
This is going to be name, let's say three.
Name three world countries that have two syllable names.
So they can't be from other places.
They have to be world countries.
Which world, which world?
Disney world.
Fred Ant.
I'm kidding.
Two syllable names, right?
Two syllable names.
How many? How many?
Three? Three countries with two syllable names.
Okay. Let's see. I'm almost there so shush.
Puzz. Yes, Aaron was puzzing in first. Japan, China, Molly. Okay.
um can an idea
i don't see malle on this list
okay well then it won't count let give me another one i will do i will do another
pause and i and i i'm sad to say i don't know enough about malle to know if it's a country or like a
you know something else uh jbc
well i was going to say uh
china russia
england
but if you're not gonna accept...
England's on this list either.
Well, because maybe it's a great Britain,
would be England.
So, England.
Yeah, the round children, Molly is a country in West Africa.
It's sort of in like the little curve part, but it is
landlocked and it doesn't touch the ocean. But it's there and it's way bigger than I
thought it would be. That's the saddest thing I've never heard that said before, but now I
think the saddest thing in the world is to say a country doesn't touch the ocean. Yeah,
just to see the guess what? The country of Mali will never see the ocean.
I'm sorry, Aaron, but the country of Mali
is the official name is the Republic of Mali.
So that's like that would be.
That would be a little bit.
Maybe Boah, I saw an elistir.
Ghana, it's north of Ghana.
Ghana, Aaron, say that one again.
Ghana.
There you go.
Here's just one.
Oh my God, I won.
Also, I didn't realize that Mali was there.
I knew it was in Africa, and I thought it was further north, east of won. Also I didn't realize that Molly was there. I knew it
was in Africa and I thought it was further north east of that. So I'm learning. I
want to see a scene. The two of you are you spent all of your lives growing up
and I don't know fucking Arkansas or in some state that doesn't touch the ocean
and now you're you're finally at the ocean and the two of you are on Molly.
I'm more afraid than I thought I would be.
No, no, no, I mean, I feel, I feel what we're supposed to feel here. It's like, it's like togetherness and shark monsters.
Yes, see, I took them only 20 minutes before you.
So now you're joining me.
Yeah, yeah, I'm feeling, I'm feeling it now, because it's like,
you're thinking about like, that's like full of piss, right?
Like that's full of shark and fish, piss and shit.
And now I'm thinking about it all creeping up at me
and that's what the tide is and the tide's like,
where they shit, they're working to come in
to take back the land.
I'm thinking about all the bodies that are
have been in the water, shipwrecks, other such things. I'm thinking about that, and I'm thinking about all the bodies that have been in the water shipwrecks, other such things. I'm thinking about that and I'm thinking about those fish to have the lamps on their head.
Oh yeah.
And those things are taking the bodies of like the pirates and the monsters and whatnot to the neck, to the great beyond.
They're the guides and they're saying come with me black beard and Tony Elfredo and we're gonna go to the
great beyond. Did you ever see that Jason Statham movie the Meg? I'm gonna stop
right there. I see never Jason Statham movie there is I see Crank, I see Crank 2, I
see the transporter that's not him. Wait, no it is, yes, he has here. He's bald and
he's in charge. And I saw the Meg. Did you think that anything like the Meg could
really exist in real life? A shark dinosaur that big?
Absolutely, that's a Megalodon.
A Megalodon could exist in real life now.
Be the simple country folk and being from a landlock place.
I'm that two familiar and two keen on seeing one of them make a little down.
So why don't we get back in the helicopter and go off?
Wait, I see one right now!
Oh my god.
Look at that. Look at that...
Toothi mother fucker.
Wait, he's walking up to us.
Oh, here it is. Hello.
You want to go make a ladon?
Excuse me? I fucking whip your ass!
Jungle fish?
I think that this is just a little boy and we're on Molly.
No, you're a prehistoric shark and I'm gonna kill you.
Scene.
Very nice.
So there's no winner of this scene
because the winner of that scene
was the producers of the crank franchise.
But JPC, I'm gonna give you one point
for transforming into JPC riddles at the very end there.
Please, the crank chis.
I feel like I haven't been keeping proper score because I've
been laughing and goofing, but I feel like the score right now is Aaron 52, JPC 50, and we're
going to go into our next round. So for this one, it's going to be famous kind of sings or
proverbs, but they're going to be, and I feel like we've done this before like movie titles
or taglines, but they're going to be put in the blender
and kind of mixed up or said in a different way, right?
So famous things or proverbs,
but the wording is much different
and you have to kind of sus out
what the saying is based on what's going on.
They're blended or they're mixed up.
They're blended or mixed up.
Great.
Not that they're out of order,
they're just being phrased differently. It's a movie quote smoothie. But they're not movie quotes. They're
sort of their proverbs. So for the first one, I think this will give you a good idea of
what's happening. Got it. The first one is devotion compels the earth to spin on its access.
That's a famous very famous phrase saying proverb.
I love you like, at the end of the day, I love you.
At the end of the day, I love you.
Wait, this is, let's go.
This is not what I thought it was.
This isn't the words that are out of order.
These are no, sorry.
Okay.
When I say putting a blender, I just mean that it's not that it's jumbled up, but it's...
Puzz.
Yes? Love makes the world go round.
Ding ding ding.
Love makes the world go round.
That is correct.
It's money.
Money makes the world go round.
I am only familiar with the Eve 6 definition of a blender, which is...
When I put my tender, heart and a blender, watch it spin around until a beautiful, boobian,
rendez-vous, then I'm through with you.
That's correct, two points for JBZ.
Does anyone want any of my coats?
That Eve Sixth guy is on Twitter now.
And he was like, he tweeted something like,
what if the shittiest poem you wrote
when you were a kid with double plaid?
I saw that.
I saw that.
There are count as legit funny.
Oh, it's very funny.
Okay, here we go.
Here's the next one.
Giggling and Gaffine is the finest pharmaceutical product.
Plus, GBC.
Laughter is the best medicine.
That is correct. Yes, that's what Giggling is.
Then why does this show make me sick to my fucking stomach?
Riddle me that. Hey, hey, hey, riddle, riddle, riddle me that, asshole.
Hey, Aaron, earth to Aaron, Riddle, me that, asshole. Hey, Aaron! Earth to Aaron!
You're so sick all the time,
because I keep feeding you slugs!
Oh, okay, fine.
I'm so sick all the time,
because I keep doing skateboard tricks.
Oh, man.
I do apologize, you both lose two points for losing your mind.
That's fair.
That's fair. That's, hey.
I, uh, uh, uh, good point.
Boss, we deserve it. Yeah, boss, good point, boss. So's fair. That's fair. That's hey. Hey good point boss
We deserve it. Yeah boss good point boss. So you're both at 60 points. Here we go last one
There is no function in whipping an expired appalooza
Puzz Do you be see if frickin beating the horse that death and the horse is already dead my man
the horse that death and the horse is already dead my man. You sound like the coach from Big Mouth.
Thank you.
Hey, thank you.
That's high compliment.
That's Nick Crowell.
There's no use beating a dead horse.
Dave, see, you didn't quite phrase it that way, but we'll still give it to you.
I think we can assume what you meant.
So here's what I want to see.
I want to see a scene. The
two of you are horses. You're on a farm and you have heard the, you have heard your owners
or the people who have procured you. You've heard them use the phrase, don't be a dead horse
and you have totally taken it literally. And now it is kind of nighttime. The farmers
have gone to bed and you're terrified and you're having this discussion for the first time. I'm packing. I'm packing. I'm
just gonna pack. I'm just gonna pack in them. We're gonna go. Where are you gonna go? It's all fence.
It's all fence around here. Where are you gonna go? Where are we gonna go? Where are we gonna go?
I don't want you to die. Are you kidding me? I'm staying right here. I'm staying right here.
What are you gonna do? If they catch me running off with you
They're gonna find me. They're gonna beat me and then they're gonna kill me and then they're gonna go to work on me
Because that's what he said. He said there's no death too good for you horse
I don't understand why this is happening. We do everything we say it's like we're doing a na na here and a na na there
He puts the carrots on the palm of his hand, I eat the carrot. Yeah.
I shit where they tell me to shit.
I even tell me to eat.
I do everything right.
Their 14-year-old daughter keeps entering me into competitions
that are so far away, and she's not very nice to me,
and she's way too rich.
I'm just sick of this.
I'll let that motherfucker pound metal onto the bottom of my feet.
Now, it doesn't hurt so we think
But come on. I mean I gave everything baby baby baby baby. What if we just go huh?
What if we just go what if we see the ocean and I don't know
Do it live in a cabin? Okay, okay? Come on. Let's just go. What if we dig dig?
Yes, I got this the one thing
I know we're bad at I got a poster hanging up in the bar and every night for the past 10 years
I've been chipping away a little bit. Oh, you know what fuck me. I just did a hole in the bar
That's not see that's a great escape. That was one of my first things we've ever done you both get a hundred points
Good. Oh, yeah.
Do you think the night escape would be a good musical?
I've never seen it before.
That's Steve McQueen.
Yeah, you should watch it.
I think you'd enjoy it.
Never seen the movie.
I've never seen a single Steve McQueen movie.
I thought JPC was referencing Shawshank
with the Rock Hell welchable poster.
JPC, I'll let you both take a shot at it
uh... five points who ever makes the funniest uh... shashank redemption
uh... title but using horses
wait i'm sorry what's this game it's
so the movie is the shashank redemption but you have to re-purpose the title
with uh... to make it uh...'s starring, starring horses. Uh, uh, straw, uh, straw, shank, um, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh I was just gonna be Mr. Shawshanks for Dabshat because Shawshanks I think is a pretty fun name for a horse.
Shawshanks is a wonderful name for a horse. You're right, you get five points as well.
Yes. I also love the term, it's all fence. We're gonna go. It's all fence. I feel like that's a shirt. It's all fence.
Today I looked up popular nicknames, people call their dogs to see how many of our nicknames for Lou were original and I saw one that I liked you want to hear it yeah yes Salvador
doggy oh that's it yeah that's is that really a nickname that's like that's
like that's a long walk to doggy you know I feel like it should be I should like
I feel like it should be Labrador Dolly. Okay, that's great. See?
So, yeah.
Or saliva dog Dolly.
Okay, we'll see.
You should work for this website.
Can I quickly read these to you?
Wait, are you looking on Adorify.com?
Yeah, I'm going to read these.
I'm going to read these so fast.
And then you can just tell me which one you like the best.
Ready?
Great. And then you can just tell me which one you like the best ready. Okay. Great Bark Twain
Choo Barka
Drulia Caesar
Friends Ferdinand
Hair Hairy Potter
Jimmy Choo Karim Abdul Jabarck Mary Puppins, which I thought I came up with it turns out I didn't the notorious DOG
Orville Redden Barker
that I didn't. The notorious DOG, Orville, Redden Barker, Ozzy Pazborn, Prince of Barkness, Salvador Doggy, Santa Paz, Sarah Disko Barker, Sherlock Bones, Winnie the
Poodle and Wolf, Wolf Gangpuck. My favorite is Vincent Dugnafrio. Very good.
Well, I like Bark Twain the best, but of course his real name was Bark Clemens.
Well, Gemma and I will call, I,
brisk it in fries, it's all interchangeable.
We'll call them like scrambles or like bongo or like, um,
I'll call, I'll call brisket biscuit.
Um, yeah, it's a lot of fun.
And I know JPC on billboards, you mentioned all the names you call spaghetti.
I love that dog.
That dummy.
Uh, a lot of the stuff is a dummy or idiot. Uh, that's what I call myself, but then I love that dog. That dummy. A lot of the dumbies just say dummy or idiot.
Yeah, that's what I call myself, but then I yelled at me,
so I'm not gonna do that anymore.
We go with the classics, Professor Pupp and Suds,
or Mrs. Lanningham, which is the Secretary
from the West Wing.
Professor Pupp and Suds is hands down the best.
Well, that's from the paper, Bap.
We're coming to a close here.
The tally at the
moment is 105 to 105. So it's anyone's glean. Okay. So we have two more segments for
this next one. This is going to be we'll give it about a minute or maybe a minute and a
half. What's going to happen is I'm going to ask you both and there's no buzzing in. So
this is just kind of a scream amount. Scream them if you got them. Scream them out. Scream
them out. And it's one point per and I'll try and keep Tally so scream
them out but also make sure you give me time to write them down.
Gotcha.
To tell you the points I mean.
For this, we're going to try and list as many famous people
with the first name George.
Go.
George Clooney.
George Harrison.
George Jetson.
George of the Jungle.
A help. George Orwellon George the jungle helped George or well
George Bush George George Bush senior George what's junior George? I said both of those
They didn't he didn't you didn't I'm gaslighting you
George stephanopolis
We're canceling this round
We're canceling this round. No, why?
What did I do wrong?
Because what I do.
You got one point.
JPC then got like 20 and you just went, help.
You know what?
I was falling down a hole and I didn't know what to do.
I'm actually crying.
Although you could have been saying help based off George Harrison.
No, I just needed help.
Help. Help.
Aaron, I'm going to give you, I believe it, I heard you say George Takai.
Yeah.
So for that round, from what I heard and forgive me if this isn't correct,
but I was laughing my fucking brains out.
Aaron got two points that round.
I'm going to give her a point for help as well.
That's fair, that's fair.
Aaron got three points and JPC got six.
Okay.
So there we go.
And here we go, this is our final round.
So the score right now is Aaron has 108 points
and JPC has 111.
So you fuck you, fuck you.
What happened to me?
I'll give you one time.
Hold on, we're now time.
What do you do to yourself?
JPC, why do you do this to yourself?
Has wisely used his points to make it a close game?
You yourself, Savitour.
How many time outs do I still have?
It how many?
No time outs.
I have no time outs.
No time outs. I must have used them. No timeouts must have used them.
And so for the final round, this is the classic final round to this game show.
That's a good one. We're gonna do rap for daddy. So you both are going to rap a song.
I'm going to give you a topic and you'll do a wrap on it.
There's no sort of set time length
or number of bars or anything you have to spit.
It's just whenever you feel like you have
beat the other person or produced enough
wrap to win the game.
Maybe what I'll do is I'll give you two topics
and you can choose just because I know Aaron
before you have gotten a little lost
there by the topic. And you want to go first or second. Whatever you prefer
I'll go first then and then you can you can take us home. So you're your game to win excellent
Great so jpc your rap can be about one of these two things. Okay
Either being a vegetarian sure
Or first dates. Hmm, which one do I know more about? A vegetarian for like 18 years. Haven't been on a first date. Three I'll take vegetarian please.
Great, whenever you're ready.
Yo, this a gravy, it's gotta be meat, but I say take that to the street and toss it.
In the gutter, no I did not fucking stutter.
If you want a recipe for some for some vegetarian Re-grain V Fall low J
P C
And let me spit it like this first you got to make a roux that's butter and flour and it's just for you
Heated up in a pot stir-retill it getting soft once it's golden golden brown
Come on, that's fucking delay of game
Golden, golden brown, here come on. That's fucking delay of game.
I think it's back in my rhyme.
Once it's golden, golden brown,
take some stock, concentrate, add it to some water.
Eight steps later, you're gonna eat some graders.
Then you stir it all up and add it back to the pot.
Now lower the heat just a bit, cool it down. You're
about to have yourself some gravy brown. That's the color. It will be thickened up, pour
on your penis. That's right. It's very it's burning themselves not gravy on the dicks and if you want to stop eating meat you're gonna have a hot gravy dick
Yeah, nice one. Thank you. Uh, JBC Matt
My nice suggests that at some point in the near future you started YouTube channel
Which is you wrapping recipes and it's called the rapesees? Yes, absolutely you can suggest that and you can follow
Rapesees right now twitch
just that and you can follow rapesees right now. Twitch, don't do it.
I don't know, that might look weird and who's writing.
Don't do it, don't do it.
I genuinely thought it was being helpful and I'm so sorry.
No, no, no, no, no.
Well, just real quick, just so we're all on the same page.
Error is about to wrap for Daddy.
And JPC, at any point during her rap, you can scream too.
No, okay, fine, that's fair.
So just know that and that can be the number two,
T-O-O, T-O, whatever you feel.
I don't think I'll need it,
but I thank you for giving it to me.
Ha ha ha.
Aaron, are you ready?
Yes.
You have to wrap for Daddy and the two subjects
you can choose between dogs or good dogs.
I'll go with dogs.
Okay, whenever you're ready.
Nice.
Now listen up while I give you a holler.
I'm talking about the things that wear a collar.
I like animals.
I'm trying not to hog, but I want a hundred dogs.
Gzz.
Uh, uh, no, I don't want the things that per-
I want the things that are covered with fur, which are also cats, but I'm not talking about cats.
I'm talking about dogs.
Um, Chef, help.
Two, I did it for you.
Um, uh, number two.
Okay, um, I-I cannot be interrupted.
Um, uh, I cannot be interrupted
Um
Okay, I got this
Uh I
Go to the dog park with my buds and I bring professor pup and such because she's a puppy and I love her too
and I love her too. Two.
Two.
Two.
Um.
Uh.
Uh.
Um.
Um.
Uh.
Uh.
Uh.
Uh.
Uh.
Uh.
Uh.
Uh.
Uh.
Uh.
Uh.
Uh.
Uh.
Uh.
Uh.
Uh.
Uh.
Uh. Uh. Uh. Uh. Uh. die at one point or another. So hug him every day like you're precious little brother. Two!
I'm sorry, I'm out reminding everyone that they're dog gonna die but sometimes I cry just
thinking about it.
Oh my god.
May I go? May I be excused from the episode?
This will might just be your last. Everyone will die eventually.
Okay, may I be excused from this episode, please. I would like to watch my hands.
I feel like I feel like next episode record your parents gonna be like in attendance like like hey, we want to talk about we want to talk to you about Aaron's podcast
Let's like a pta. Oh my god. I kind of be okay at the end there. I made it make sense. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well,
Aaron, I was going to let you win, but your self-awareness is zero.
Come on. No, no, no, no, no, no. I think you made it, you made it real
there at the end there and like a macklemore rap. Yeah. You're a rapper like
macklemore's a rapper. I never said F FU to Adel so I feel like that's fair.
That's fair.
JBC quickly say it quickly so I can win.
Please, ABC.
So, Aaron, you are going to win this rap battle but not for the reasons you think.
Why did I win?
Well, I don't know.
Why do you think for the reasons that she thinks?
Because that was the sweatiest rap I've ever heard in my life.
I was just thinking how sweaty I got when I was doing it.
It's so crazy.
Aaron, it showed. It wasn't a secret.
I love Aaron's style of wrapping.
Instead of like, come on or like yelling the year.
I love the airs.
No, no, shut up, shut up.
I would love it for like a super confident free
Styler to just be like help help help help help like when they're breathing like in their
office help help MC panic so you win the rap battle that is a hundred points to you
so the final score is 208 to 108 anybody's game. No that's the final score. Anybody's
ball gave it this point. So Aaron I'm gonna mail you a blank check
You fill it in for what you feel like you deserve for for winning that round
I'll write your name
Me too. Where you been and thank you both so much for playing money money money
Puzzies Puzzies Puzzies at pace to be right Adolfis honeydoll a giveaway
I'm gonna give away based on my life in riddies and puzzies uncle addle right to check
Fuck you fuck you fuck you. JBC is a consolation prize you get to plug or promote whatever you like first
Well, Aaron maybe
Gets this blank check, but I am doing a movie with tone look so I guess we'll both have our own little blank checks
tone look of course was in the
1984
Thank you, come on, do you know funky come on?
Okay, so things that I would like to plug.
If you're listening to this, you know what?
Head on over to my Twitch channel.
It's twitch.tv slash shark bark.
When I stream most days, you wouldn't believe
the number of times people come into the Twitch channel
and say, I was just listening to a Hey,
we're over to the episode.
So baby, I know what works.
I know it's driving that traffic over to that Twitch channel.
So come on, hang out, say hi, give me a follow.
And if you have Amazon Prime and you feel bad about that
because of Jeff Bebezoes, then give me your Prime sub.
You can give that to me every month
and JP, old JP seal appreciate it.
And it's the only thing that I gotta plug.
So I'll kick it on over to my friend Aaron,
who did a wonderful job winning today's contest.
Aaron, what do you have to plug?
Your dog's gonna die, and I'm not gonna lunch back into that.
So, like, Adel and JPC before me,
I was recently on the Gunquil State Park podcast.
And I had the best time of having a really hard day
and I laughed so hard.
It's, I, truly, it's a blast.
And you should just check it out anyway, because it is really, really fun.
And Adel and JPC have episodes on it.
And I listened to the Will Beedment Sorbonne, that's really great.
And the Ryan Astrum, that's really great.
So check it out.
I think you'll enjoy it, if you like our show.
And it's really, it's a nice, easy listen.
Do you guys remember what your names were on that podcast?
Oh, yeah.
I know.
Mine stuck with me forever, because it's one of the,
I just came up with it in the moment.
It's one of the most JPC names that I've ever come up with
and it's just Rick Plates.
Ha ha ha.
Rick Plates.
Oh, I know mine because I,
Adel, you came up with a Tiffany Kee Largo for me recently
that I used on the John Mackey's like live stream,
which is my favorite fake name I've ever had.
Until I was Lillie Outrageous.
On the Gunn Cole State Park podcast, and my whole thing is I'm suing the park because I
got engaged there and it didn't work out.
Lillie Outrageous sounds like someone who had screamed for a manager or suo park. Oh, I know that. Oh, I know that. Outstanding.
So for my plugs this week, I was on two different podcasts I want you to check out.
The first one is called The Hollywood Cast Connection.
It's sort of a six degrees of separation game with some fun bits in between, so check
that out.
And I was also on a D&D podcast called Filling in the Gaps.
So please check out those two shows. That brings us to the end of the show,
airing a JPC for additional 100 points. JPC this could bring you to a tie. Oh my God, I want this so bad.
What is the largest planet in the universe?
Plus Neptune fuck you by. No, I lost! God damn it!
God dammit
It's a place that rhymes with plupider. It's a planet
By forever Patrick Cullen Casey Tony to the editing M.R.D. Parrot to the music
Vocal created by M.O.B. Cardamus and M.O.N. the Morris
Fuck you, B.B. Dore Hey, B.B. Dore
Jupiter, fuck you suck my dick
Chugana, I yelled like that.
Hey cookies and monsters, if you like that you're gonna love this week's Patreon.
Addle takes us to Apathy Avenue.
You can listen to that at HeyRiddleRiddle's Patreon by going to patreon.com slash HeyRiddleRiddle
and joining the clue crew for $5 or the review crew for $8.
See you there!