Hey Riddle Riddle - #269: Erin Keif's No Good Absolutley Suck-tastic 269ing Awful Terrible No Good Day
Episode Date: September 13, 2023It's episode 269 so you know we are getting nasty! Well, no nastier than usual. Okay, it's the normal amount of nasty. All that plus we've got some out-of-touch marketers trying to stay young..., the origins of a popular nursery rhyme, some children's animation fan fiction, and a brainstorming session in the sky. Starring: Adal Rifai John Patrick Coan Erin Keif Editing by: Casey Toney Theme by: Arne Parrott Logo by: Emily Kardamis & Emmaline Morris Want more? Get Weekly Bonus Eps on Patreon! Want merch? Visit our TeePublic Store! or pins, buttons & prints Want to mail us something? Hey Riddle Riddle 6351 W Montrose Ave #267 Chicago, IL, 60634 Want to leave us a voicemail? Call (805) RIDDLE-1 or (805-743-3531) Want to advertise on the show? Check out Hey Riddle Riddle via Gumball.fmSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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This is a headgun podcast. And the horse ain't riding I'm sitting with the horse
I'm sitting with the horse
I'm sitting with the horse
I keep it for hate with the brick y'all
Adderify Aaron Keith, you're both the next contestant on Come On Down
Aaron! Aaron! I did it! What? or both the next contestant on, come on down. Woo!
I did it!
What?
He said contestant, singular.
All right, let's bear our one big t-shirt.
Finally, and excused.
Ah!
Ah!
All right, it's okay.
Oh, oh, oh, oh.
Watch your gators, watch your those gators.
Oh, whoa.
A moat, okay.
We made it. Hi, we're at a hard one. Hi, we're at a hard one. Oh, whoa. Whoa. A moat. Okay.
We made it.
Hi, we're at a learn.
Hi, we're at a learn.
So happy to be here.
Come on down.
Come on down.
Oh, silly, Adela there.
And you haven't even come close to coming on down.
That's a decoy and it'll explode in five, four.
What's a decoy?
Three.
Oh, he is.
I have.
Yeah.
Oh. And then in case you want Ades sound effect here. That's like a decoy exploding
Which he might or it was he's bad at me still bad at me for what I said about him
Not sure what a decoy exploding sounds like he has what he has what about a decoy explode you know he does
Did we did we win?
Hello, you haven't come on down yet. Come on down. I think we have to fall
where the decoy fill. Oh, okay, ready? Let's jump. Okay, there was a bunch of pillows down there. Hold on.
So how does the decoy explode the pillows?
Okay, Aaron ready. One two three.
Three. Jump. Oh, you jumped early.
She'll, well, you dropped her a little. And Casey Addison defective, like, really cool falling sounds unless you're mad at me.
And that, like, a boy on your own, like, we hit us very springy pillow.
Unless you're mad at Addle.
And then you know that.
Yeah, then make it a boner sound.
If he is mad at us, what do you think, what's the head of X, do you think he put in there?
I don't even want to know.
Is Casey mad at us? Is it going to be all, it's going to be all like, what's his name? Screams. Casey might be mad at us because I did tell a professional organization that,
uh, with Casey, you get what you pay for, but what I meant was that he's very good at his job.
Very good. He's like, he's very competent. Yeah. When Casey comes for us, he's very good at his job. Very good. He's very competent. Yeah.
When Casey comes for us, he's coming for you first.
And I'm sure of that.
Yeah.
Yeah.
This is, this is fact.
And then maybe me and then Adel gets to live.
Oh, you.
Hey, everybody.
Welcome to Hey Riddle Riddle podcast about improv and about riddles.
It's hosted by three friends.
One of those three friends is Adel.
Another one of those three friends is Aaron. And a third one of those three friends is JPC, and we're all
all so friends with a guy named Casey who were mean too constantly.
He's not even typing. There he is. Well, if I wasn't friends with Casey, what I
have let him talk to me for 15 minutes
before we recorded about Baldur's Gate. No, I wouldn't have done that. I would have said shut the fuck up.
Did you say that as a joke to start?
I can't remember. Probably.
It sounds like a GPC. Give us give us a 10 second summary of what Baldur's what's
you be able to Baldur's Gate? Baldur's Gate 3 is like a
part of the 5. What was I doing? I'm not this is how I talked to children by the way. see a bill of Walters gate. Baldur's Gate 3 is like, plus like a five.
What was I doing?
This is how I talk to children, by the way.
I, one thing that bothers me is when people like go like,
hey, do you like to go to the bathroom?
You're just talking to just little people.
You like to go to the bathroom.
You don't like to go to the bathroom?
It feels good.
You know, let's, let's,
card's on the table.
What if I just kept
I never addressed the question that was asked I just kept getting offended about the next
day. I do think going to the bathroom feels pretty great. Whether it's peeing or pooping.
I think it also it's a little bit of relief. I'd rather have it out then in.
I like to write down all the craziest stuff you say because I want to study you. So I'm just I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. this sound terrible, but when you pass away, because they're gonna study your brain, and they're gonna be doing so many tests,
and it's gonna, so many scientists are gonna die,
because they'll be studying your brain
and like something will go off,
or like they'll throw some solution.
They'll have a cut in it, and they'll be like,
oh god no.
Yeah, it'll be like a horror movie,
where they're just like, this brain,
we don't know what this is,
we've never seen anything like this.
Or something nicer.
Yeah.
No, no, I stand by this.
The scientists will come home, and their spouse will be like,
how was work today in the book? You know, it's pretty me, but grip really, really got, but I'm not
like I'm not. And they just turn into
the police. Police horse. Oh, no.
Piss on cousin police horse. Uh, yeah, I'm, I'm the, uh,
elithid tadpole to all of their brains. And if you were playing Baldur's Gate 3,
you'll understand that reference, as Casey does.
Casey says, woohoo.
He's having a great time.
He's having a great time.
Casey, how mad does it make you that you have to be here
while we record these episodes,
but you're not supposed to talk all the episodes,
but you can't also be playing Baldur's Gate 3
while we're recording these episodes? Infinitely mad, I imagine. That also be playing Baldur's Gate 3 or go to these episodes.
Infinitely mad, I imagine. That's my guess.
That's just my guess.
Real mad.
Also, I think how about for the next seven episodes,
Casey, if you feel inspired to hop on the mic,
come on down.
He only can seven.
Oh, we restart the game show.
Come on down.
Oh no, here comes the decoy.
Casey is our next, but I'm just saying if anything
If you want to join a funny scene or a bad scene to make it better if you just couple times an episode if you feel inspired
You might never feel inspired and that's fine, but you're welcome
Aaron I don't know if this is intentional, but you just created the best Beatles parody. I've ever had all I was thinking the same thing
Take a bad scene and make it better. Da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da promising this for us. We're never gonna do this. We're gonna make a Beatles parody album and it's gonna be all Beatles songs
parodied in some way about it.
Don't hold this, please don't hold this.
Don't hold this.
Why don't I, I'll do that.
I'll do that.
Thank you, Aaron.
I did a world news show this last weekend.
Neither of you are there,
so I'm gonna cover up with telling you this story.
And it was a relatively small cast, I think it was only a six or seven of us.
But in the first act, Rob White and I kept finding ourselves in scenes together that people
kind of let go out, I would say a little too long, where he was just like a normal person
and I was an insane person.
And we did like two of them in the first act and we get back to that stage, I go, hey,
man, sorry about making you do these seeds where you're a normal person and I'm an insane person and
then we get into the third act and it's like the second seed and Robin I like cleaning out a house
because our like our parent had died and they were a hoarder and we're think about selling the house
and Rob's like yeah we're gonna take a bath in this place and I couldn't I heard him say take a
bath and I wouldn't let that go I was like yeah yeah we could take a bath in this place. And I couldn't, I heard him say, take a bath and I wouldn't let that go.
I was like, yeah, yeah, we could take a bath.
Like, that'd be fine.
Like, it'd be cool.
And he's like, what?
No, I don't want to take a bath with you.
And I was like, yeah, me neither.
I don't want to take a bath with you,
but we should, right?
Because it's our dad's house.
It's, uh,
it's just,
I was just widened and then did he sigh?
Like, I'm the show,
he goes, it's so funny you apologize
for doing the thing that you just do all the time.
But I was like, yeah, but I want you to know
that I feel bad about it.
It doesn't make me feel good to be who I am.
I hate what I do out there.
But I have to do it.
Because of that brain, because of that six-sick brain.
Being a crazy person to rob is normal person.
It's some of the most fun you can have.
Yeah, it is true.
He does a good straight man character.
Yeah, a little Bobby White.
One of my favorites, my personal favorites.
I'm happy to be here and I miss you both.
Is that true? Yes, it is.
Here, and thank you for reading off the cue cards.
Yes, wow, there it is.
Okay, and I am also happy to be here.
I miss the two of you and live from New York
It's happened
Jake BC. Can I say something crazy?
Hey, I find it to do it nonstop 24 or seven. You should be able to do it for one day. Yeah, that was a two sixty nine
Is it yeah?
I get email about that
I'm wearing the complete wrong shirt
Aaron you know you're one of the bosses here, right looks behind me
We have every boss is sound correct
I'm Casey Donan Aaron cute
Little peak behind the curtain about how little I do
Yeah, this is it's like was your boss. It's like was it a boss, but when you move the curtain
It's just an empty chair that says Aaron Keve should be here
Gone to lunch that has got dust on it. It's like when you're the lifeblood of the show you don't have to pay attention
Yeah, Aaron's the lifeblood of the show. The show famously does it need lifeblood.
So she can just gotta take off whatever she wants.
Lifeblood, what a useless godson.
That's so funny.
Well, I was gonna say, I actually am looking forward
to hearing some riddles if you don't mind.
That's crazy hard.
You're having a terrible day.
Like what's going on in your life?
Wait, that was the crazy thing. You're gonna say terrible day? Like let's go out of your life. Wait, and that was the crazy thing.
You're gonna say?
Yeah, yeah.
I'm sorry, Aaron, you must be at a terribly low spot
right now.
I'm gonna do some of these.
And I am, and I'll be honest, I don't know, 269 in.
I'm having a really bad day.
Aaron, I didn't do it with these reddles.
Aaron Keeps, no good.
Absolutely, sucktastic.
269, awful, terrible, no good day.
A brand new book's hitting shelves.
Every we get 8,000 patrons.
That better be the title of this episode.
So help me.
Aaron, I don't want to even attempt to share you up, but I, uh, we will get to some
rattles, but I was having a conversation with Mariah earlier.
And, uh, and if this does cheer you up, then that's an incidental benefit.
But we were driving the day.
I'm driving, and we passed a gas station, and Mariah goes, that gas station had a sign
out in front of it that said, it's giving pump.
And I was like, what?
I was like, who is that for?
And just for context, for listeners who maybe started here at 269,
JPC and Riot is the dead bird you keep in your pocket?
Mine.
Yeah.
Yeah.
No, my lovely wife said, there's a scientist, it's giving pump.
And I was like, what the fuck, like, is that trying to get like,
Jin Z to buy gas?
Like, what the fuck is, like, what would that even be for?
That's really sucks.
I would watch a documentary about the choice,
that choice that someone made and why they made it.
Well, we had this whole conversation
because we were like, is it like,
you're like working for Shell,
but you're like a young marketing professional
and you're like trying to convince you're like 50 year old boss
that this is gonna help sell gas or something.
Like, pumping gas is a slay.
And it's like, why would this be?
Yeah.
All of garden, it's giving unlimited.
Like, the thing, people who are trying to pull you in
to something that's already like, unfortunately,
such a necessity.
Yeah.
Like, I really don't have a choice.
I need gas right now.
You're the closest gas station.
Yeah.
I'm not here because of the sign.
That's what I would say if I went to that gas station.
I go, here's my money.
I just want you to know that I did not come here
because of the sign.
You never say I look 23,
but I'm not here because of it's giving pump.
I'm truly trying to think,
are there gas ads?
Like have I ever seen like a shell commercial? I don't think so. I used
to see them. I used to hear them on the radio when I listened to the radio, but that was
like 10, 15 years ago, because I remember the jingle at work or play, you're on your way,
the convenience doors of speedway. Okay. But, all right. But I don't think I've seen commercials.
Like, I'm watching water and gas. I don't see a lot of asses. You just unlocked a memory for me.
Those Christmas toys that they would do a different kind
of car every year for Christmas.
Was that a gas station company or a car company?
Do you know what I'm talking about?
Did I have like a plane?
I don't know, Aaron.
And you're from the East Coast, and my older brother used to
get these, I think from his East Coast relatives.
And they were like, Hess trucks.
Yeah.
Hess, Hess, I think is a gas station
or something on these.
I don't actually know what it is,
but for whatever reasons.
Yes, Hess holiday trucks.
Hess holiday trucks.
Okay, so that's the thing you're talking about.
Yeah.
That was a big thing.
I don't know, I'm not from there, but.
I was recently in Dallas, Texas,
with a friend of the show, Jeffer Crainer, and he was talking about, he's like, he was wearing something and I was like,
what is that beaver? And he's like, it's Bucky. And like, I should know it.
And I'm like, what is this? And it's something called Bucky the Beaver.
And I guess there's a gas station chain called Bucky's. And the things he described
that that gas station sells are insane. Like the, they sell like onesies.
And they sell all these things that a gas station cells are insane. Like they sell like onesies,
and they sell all these things
that a gas station should not have.
But I guess it's a whole,
I wanna say lifestyle for Texans or for-
Oh, it's Texas.
I believe so, yeah.
Okay, is it like,
is it like flying J or pilot
like those like huge humongous gas stations,
or is it just like,
is it the side of size of like a neighborhood gas station?
I didn't get to go to one, but the way he talked to me,
the way he talked about it made it sound like
it was quite sizeable.
Has is an oil company.
That's super sinister.
Like, they were just.
Oh yeah, but that's, I mean,
that's who's transporting those oil through those trucks.
So I guess the has trucks things make sense.
Oh, I didn't tell you the best part about the story.
Couple days later, I'm driving home
and it's the gas station on our block,
but I'm sitting in front of or down the block,
but I'm sitting at the traffic light
and I look over and I see a sign.
I see the sign that Maria saw,
the sign says the giving pump
and it's for like a charity.
It doesn't say, it does not say, at any point on this side, it's giving pump and it's for like a charity. It doesn't say it does not say at any point
on this side, it's giving pump. That's just something that she saw red wrong and got mad
about and that I got really mad about it.
Okay.
The gas pump gave so much to gave so much to a kid that the gas pump eventually withered
away. Beautiful story. I do what it's like. Now I want that to happen. I want that
to exist in the world.
It's giving pump.
I do what I see the scene.
It's the three of us,
and we're all in a marketing or ad agency.
We're way too old to be,
say what we're saying,
but we're trying to appeal
towards a younger generation with our clients.
Okay, great.
All right, fellas, let's get started.
Uh, here we go.
Here we go, here we go, here we go.
Okay, so, okay.
What do young people say?
How do we gonna make young people get into Panera bread?
Yes, that's the whole bread bowl.
Uh, I'm gonna go to the bread bowl.
Get cached.
Yes.
What else? Is it? Our hash tags, you little thing. I'm not a bad guy. I'm not a bad guy. I'm not a bad guy. I'm not a bad guy.
I'm not a bad guy.
I'm not a bad guy.
I'm not a bad guy.
I'm not a bad guy.
I'm not a bad guy.
I'm not a bad guy.
I'm not a bad guy.
I'm not a bad guy.
I'm not a bad guy. I'm not a bad guy. Please retire Please You tell us do you have the money? No?
No, okay, all right so Penaer is off the board craft singles. What how can we make craft cool again?
What if we say it's gay because that's cool, man?
Right on a craft single Mac and cheese is homophobic
Single Mac and cheese is homophobic. I'm gonna go home. Yeah
I'd like to put this on a grinder because a grinder I think is also a hoagie, right? Yeah, I think that's a but I think that's Original thing not a young thing
Next company okay, what do we have doors? Oh?
I had to bring one oh
No, no, no, no you you're're right we don't pay you enough to do that. Yeah you
rest yours you rest at the next one is Hes oil. Hes oil. Hes queen. Hes queen. Don't
do it. Don't do it. Don't do it. Don't do it. Don't do it. Don't do it. Don't do it. Don't do it. Don't do it. Don't do it. Don't do it. Don't do it. Don't do it. Don't do it. Don't do it. Don't do it. Don't do it. Don't do it. Don't do it. Don't do it. Don't do it. Don't do it. Don't do it. Don't do it. Don't do it. Don't do it. Don't do it. Don't do it. Don't do it. Don't do it. Don't do it. Don't do it. Don't do it. Don't do it. Don't do it. Don't do it. Don't do it. Don't do it. Don't do it. Don't do it. Don't do it. Don't do it. Don't do it. Don't do it. Don't do it. Don't do it. Don't do it. Don't do it. Don't do it. Don't do it. Don't do it. Don't do it. Don't do it. Don't do it. Don't do it. Don't do it. Don't do it. Don't do it. Don't do it. Don't do it. Don't do it. Don't do it. Don't do it. Don't do it. Don't do it. Don't do it. Don't do it. Don't do it. Don't do it. Don't do it. Don't do it. Don't do it. Don't do it. Don't do it. Don't do it. Don't do it. Don't do it. Don't do We boys is that a young is that a young person? Oh, actually you know what that may have been her last good idea
Maybe it is better if we just okay here's what here's what we should do
Up wait letter cook. Okay letter cook dollars cook were you cooking?
Well, I said it has queen and I'm not sure I have another idea
Okay, well, that's okay, then that's give me another company. Let's see if I got any left sure for trucks
Oh, she folded inside out. Oh, she wow. I've never seen
All right, she is dead boys. We got to keep going
Well hold on for trucks. She is is dead i'm doing the numbers here it
looks like we can take what we were paying to loris because she'd been here for
a little while and we can hire thirty to forty fifteen year olds now they can
only work in four hour shifts uh... but i mean we can just mine all of their
ideas oh that's not ethical get it on the books
and speaking of paying these uh... younger generations less money we can have that be the slogan you can't afford truck
okay
you're fired
just flipping inside out okay we are gonna get to some redels everyone don't worry
you're listening to the riddle podcast it's your favorite guys we're gonna take
care you sweet baby, the worry, the worry, the worry, the worry, everyone throwing their phones,
the oncoming traffic. But their winners are rolled up so just bonks them in the head.
We have this one, this is an email, okay, 2018, the subject line here is riddle from my six-year-old.
Fun. What starts with? Now they're 10. Oh my six year old. Hmm. Fun. Well, now they're ten.
Oh my god.
No.
They're eleven.
Yeah.
They're eleven now.
Happy birthday.
That's the last one.
Bye.
This child, since this email was written, this child has almost double their age.
I'd say more than that. Since this email was written, this child has almost doubled in age.
I'd say more than double.
I don't know. That's not my fault. I'm not the boss.
Wait, hold on. You think from six to 11 is more than doubled.
Yes, because if they listen to this podcast, this podcast is like, it's like dog years.
If you listen to Hey, Ritter Rittle for one year, you've aged. I want to say six to seven years.
Yeah. I heard a lot of want to say six to seven years. Yeah.
I heard a lot of, I can't protect you from this.
Retinol is useless.
I heard a lot of like 17 18 year olds
were like binging our show so they could go to bars.
Yeah.
And there's also, well, there's also a butt listening,
which is where they put the podcast app up their butt
and listen to it.
And apparently you absorb it faster.
Yeah, college soft more is doing that. Take. And it's take care of your butt. You'll absorb it faster. Yeah, college soft moir is doing that.
Take an air pot and put it in your butt.
What's the podcast?
The Borg thing?
Do you guys know about Borg's?
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
Robin Williams' character from Does It Come?
That was actually, yeah.
Borg and Mindy.
There was a person I went to college with that
was so ahead of their time that they were do that.
Because they would be so obsessed with not having hangovers,
that they would go like, no, you just have a water thing
and then you pour vodka in the water thing.
So you're getting so much water
so you don't feel hungover.
GBC, I hope they're okay wherever they are.
I would say, I would say,
I would say,
Brage going.
Look, you know, you're,
it's all, it's all speaking a foreign language to a guy who is sober
as a whistle. And that I'm wet from mouth. Okay, this is from a child. We have to get
to it. This is from a child. Yes.
Child no more. This was from a first grader now from a fifth grader. What starts with T, ends with T, and is filled with T's.
Starts with T, ends with T, and is filled with T's. T-pot.
Wow. Ooh, T-pot. That is a good answer, but it is not the answer that we are looking for.
Golf. We're on a golf. Golf starts with a T. It ends with everyone having a little T at the club.
Those afterwards.
And it's filled with T's and what's the filled with T's?
Those are like the T. He's a little joke should tell with your golf.
Somebody sort of hits it in the same trap and goes,
I think T part good and I think you can move on.
What?
You said the right answer.
I don't think so.
You did.
I don't remember.
What did I say?
I have no idea. You did, you just said it. I don't remember. What did I say? I have no idea.
You said tease.
It is filled with tease.
So you're, you didn't say the right answer.
But it is filled with teasing.
Teasing is what it is filled with this world.
So it starts with T, it ends with T,
and it's filled with T's spelled T-E-A-S-E.
Where do people get teased?
Riddle podcast.
I wanna say, Thai schooled.
It hurts the phrase,
it hurts the phrase,
it hurts the phrase,
it hurts the phrase,
it hurts the phrase,
it hurts the phrase,
it hurts the phrase,
it hurts the phrase,
it hurts the phrase,
it hurts the phrase,
it hurts the phrase,
it hurts the phrase,
it hurts the phrase,
it hurts the phrase,
it hurts the phrase,
it hurts the phrase, it hurts the phrase, it hurts the phrase, it hurts the phrase, it hurts the phrase, It's a I would say that this is like an action. It's something that you can do. It starts with a T and it ends with a T.
That's right. I don't know.
It's kind of the thing that I've been doing to Casey knowing that he can't possibly fight back because as soon as he gets on Mike, I start yelling
I'm trying to fuck Casey.
Tyrant is good. I think a tyrant would do this thing. I'm trying to fuck Casey. Hi, Ranch. Hi, Ranch. Hi, Ranch.
Tire ends is good.
I think a tyrant would do this thing.
Yeah.
Uh, is it one word or more than one word?
It is one word.
One word.
How many letters?
Five letters.
And it starts with T and it ends with T.
Yeah.
Before you've given us everything to have it.
No! It is taunt!
Yes, it is a taunt.
It starts with T.
Do you want to see a scene? That kid a taunt. It's actually a scene.
Not kiddin' brilliant.
With teas.
To want.
I wanna see you seen JPC, you are an old timey king,
and you have hired a local artisan of song
to write a little poem or a little song.
Aaron, you are that artisan,
and you have come up with, I'm a little too hot. But you're still workshopping it and it's not coming
along quite as you had hoped.
Alright, alright it's time for me to see what my gold has paid for.
Yes and I'm not hungover, right? Okay.
Mr. Remi?
And I didn't forget that it was today.
Ah, yes, and we all know what day it is, and so why say it?
So...
So...
So...
So...
Huh? I said why say it?
Not like how it all looks like why say it?
Uh, great.
Well, I did not write this on the carriage right over here.
Obviously, I've been working on it for many months
So much of my goal
Well, you're drinking tea right now that looks delicious
So funny the songs actually about tea. It's actually vodka
I'm just drinking it in a tea pot because it's to hydrate. It's vodka
Well, would you like to hear the poem song?
I would love to hear the poem song.
I'm a little teapot short and stout.
Short to say she called into Queen, so she's going to be a key song.
I'm a little, I'm a little stout.
Here is my handle. Here is my handle.
Here is my spout.
First time I was spouting off of the king.
I was bored with that spout.
It was surgically removed.
Why, is it?
Commenting on a spout.
And I get...
Oh, steamed up.
I can't be right.
Okay, I'm an oblizzidig.
Shows a lyrics.
Yeah, I can hear publicity shows a little bit
Tip me over and pull me out
Um, so so that riddle says we're reading riddles for kids and got to this question. Um, rather than the listed answer, which was teapot, my son said taunt and I could not
say that he was wrong.
Um, so congratulations to that child for thinking outside the box.
If you ever use, uh, like a, um, any sort of language transcriber thing,
I think it's French maybe, but I saw a video where it's like,
forgive me, I can't remember the words, but it's like,
if you type in, the fly went into my ants soup and something,
something, Tom, day before Thanksgiving, but I don't know what you're. That's right. That's right. So the whole family could listen.
I should do another one this year.
Yeah.
Did I?
Yeah.
Greg reminder, thank you for the reminder, a person whose name, you didn't say that I could
read, so I didn't read it.
These next ones are from Bill.
Bill and Brunswick.
Hmm.
Maine.
The bowling ball.
There's, Brunswick feels like one of those places where there is thousands of Brunswicks,
right?
Yeah.
So we'll never know.
So that's a good hidden in plain sight, Bill.
And Bill wrote two riddles.
Well, Bill says, I would consider the first riddle and the second a pussie.
So or a riddy of a pussie.
So we, which would rather do first?
The riddy of the pussie.
Really? Ready. Wow of the pussy. Ready.
Ready.
Wow.
Anti-pussy crew.
Pfft.
Y'all a bunch of pussy hitters?
No, we didn't say that.
Don't put words in our mouth.
We alluded to it, but.
I, well, here's your riddy from Bill.
When I'm forwards, I'm like a buffalo.
When I'm backwards, I'm like B, U, F, A, L, and O. What am I?
No, Sib. No, Sib. Can you read the second part of that again? So when I'm forward, I'm
like a buffalo. Wait, when it, four words. Does that mean four words like one, two, three,
four words? At all, you've done riddles before. I can see that you've done riddles before.
You get a gold star for listening.
No, it is not.
When it's four words, like the word, the word four word.
Okay.
When I'm backwards, I'm like B-U-F-A-L-N-O.
B-U-F-A-N-O.
L-N-O.
Yeah.
No, no, Buffalo. oh, yeah, no buffalo.
The letters in buffalo.
Okay.
All right.
So we solved it.
I'm like a buffalo backwards.
Unlike B U F a L.
No, did you solve it?
Is it all a hub?
Does the snowman from prison?
A buffalo in a mirror.
All right.
I want to see a scene.
So obviously we have. We All right. I want to see a scene. Obviously.
We know we actually bands.
We have to.
We banned them.
You don't remember, but it was a whole meeting that we had.
Aaron, I wasn't going to stop.
He was going to celebrate how funny that was.
I don't trust that.
Obviously in frozen, they had to build a bunch of snowman before they got one that could
like sing a dance or however
Whatever
So Aaron what's one of the characters in Frozen?
Elsa Elsa that's who you're gonna be you have just made a snowman, but this one is all
Olaf a bob you've made all a fub at all a fub is not a very good snowman. That's you at all
And I'm making a snowman!
Soup must have soup!
Everybody stand behind me.
Hey!
Delicious shoes, I get your shoes.
Cocaine!
Cocaine!
You're biting at my toes.
Hey, excuse me, um, what's your name? I made you
Oh god so much is coming out of your mouth so much you didn't give me a tongue did you say that you had
Sister give me one second all of up just one sec. I'll be right back
Okay, guys. I messed up pretty bad. So I normally you know, I can like make
Beings up snow sure else of course. I did not look under the snow that I was using and I think some garbage
Spilled over and then snow fell on it. Oh, so I made a part garbage part snow creature
Any ideas I've had to kill it. I'm thinking fire
part snow creature. Any ideas I've had to kill it? I'm thinking fire. Fire or the sun I guess or my reindeer here whose name escapes me. What's your name buddy?
My name is reindeer.
Okay, we got reindeer.
My reindeer. He actually ingested some snowman trash earlier today and he's been a little weird I think we should leave them here and let them be. See? Oh, Dan and Sam got them on.
Zip!
Zip!
Of course they were both wearing pants.
I ran deaard and so man and pants.
Yeah, of course they're both wearing pants.
Aaron, you said a buffalo staring into a mirror,
which is a great guess, but it's not the correct answer.
I feel the idea of just a buffalo kind of drunk,
maybe high, just staring in a mirror, being like, what is this? What am I? What? I don't know what is this. What am I? What? I don't know.
Has my skin always looked like this?
Oh God.
My head's so big.
And it like puts on a pair of pants that goes, um,
do I look fucking amazing in these pants?
What?
What?
Well, I don't know guys.
I mean, I can't.
I'd love to tell you the answer.
Did we get the answer?
I'm thinking.
Did you get the answer?
I'm thinking. I'm thinking. I'm I don't know guys, I mean, I can't.
I'd love to help you.
Did we get the answer?
I'm thinking.
Did you get the answer?
I'm like a buffalo forwards, but maybe I don't know.
I would like to just know.
Can we get a little hint?
I would like a little hint before I toss in the pool.
Okay.
When I'm forwards, I'm like a buffalo,
when I'm backwards, I'm like B-U-F-A-L-N-O-S.
Matsurello, New York, upstate New York.
You're looking for a word that's not the word buffalo.
That is, spells different things
when you spell it forward and backward.
But both of these clues point to one of those words.
So when I'm forwards, like a buffalo Mm-hmm
And then you take that word and turn it backwards and it's like B-U-F-A-L
and O. Or-O-O, uh, and O-O
Fucking confused. I don't get it. So it's like a buffalo. It's like a buffalo. What are some things that are like a buffalo?
So the word that's like a buffalo is almost exactly like the word buffalo spell backwards.
No, you're looking for a word that one when you spell it backwards is like when you spell it
forwards, it's like a buffalo and when you spell backwards, it's going to be like B-U-F-A-L-N-O.
Oh, buffalo.
So no, no.
What are some things that are like a buffalo?
A bison. A bison a bison a nickel
Dan it's not a bison it's not a nickel a
close to a bison a yak you close I'm sorry a yak and what is yaks well backwards?
I guess K and is K a letter it is then it's like B-U-F-A-L and O.
Adely answers that.
Oh, fucking fuck.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Did you do that one made me mad.
That one made me very bad.
Did you, too, ever, this might have been,
I mean, everything I experienced this before your time?
Did you ever have Yachtbacks?
Do you remember Yachtbacks?
Wasn't the Yachtback in the first home alone movie too?
I believe so actually. Yes.
Yeah. I don't know what that is.
I know it. I think I did have one, but I think I mostly know it from home alone.
I can Google it.
Casey said I was big on Yachtbacks.
Yeah, I was a little bit of vice.
Because he went into audio engineering.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
It was a little device where you press on a button and you say something and then it repeats it back
or you could record someone's like your dad snoring
and then play it back and like embarrass him
during company.
Yeah.
Damn, Casey, that's your origin story.
That's your villain of it's origin, villain story.
All right, well, Casey has to call his therapist
it looks like right now and unpack some stuff.
So we are gonna take a little bit of a break
but we will be back here with results from Casey's therapy after this quick break. Excuse me, I ain't
being here now getting married. Can we get married on the Pancake? During the break.
We're just doing it so we can have some counting challenge. Break, Break it, break it. Break it. See ya.
I know what you're thinking.
Do I have a new hat?
Adel and JPC, new haircut?
Why am I walking around with so much confidence?
Oh, I was going to, I bet you're wondering.
I wanted pretzels from the food court.
And I was just gonna let you know
that it looks like you leaned on paint.
Anyways, I just had a bunch of subscriptions
canceled for me by Rocket Bunny that I wasn't using.
And so now I'm flushed with cash.
And now I'm confident.
Pretzel money?
Well, maybe we'll talk about that.
Rocket Bunny is a personal finance app
that finds and cancels your unwanted subscriptions,
monitors your spending, and helps you
lower your bills all in one place.
I've been using it for years,
even before they were a sponsor.
Aaron, it looks like you may have leaned on,
like with someone painting a rocket money,
like billboard or sign or something,
because it's all down your back.
It's like, and I could, I could, I could, I could,
I need most people think they're spending $80 on their subscriptions.
When in reality, the number is closer to 200.
And when you signed up for so many free trials, like streaming services, you watch one show,
and then you completely forget about it.
You lose track, and then all of a sudden you're like, why am I bleeding money?
Rocket money? They take all of a sudden you're like, why am I bleeding money? Rocket money?
They take care of that for you.
They go, sit back, relax, we got this.
And they make everything color coded and easy
and super intuitive.
You're also color coded.
A little birdie told me that Rocket money
also lets you monitor all your expenses in one place,
recommends custom budgets based on your past spending.
And they've even sent you notifications
when you've reached your spending limits, which sounds like something my friend would like,
but I forget which friend I'm so hungry for pretzels.
Speaking of pretzels, you don't get all twisted up by Salthene and the bread of your
finances, with over 3 million users and counting.
Rocket money customers have saved an average of $720 a year. Hey, what's going on? Somebody lean over my rocket money paint thing run everybody run
Run
Is that DaVinci?
Yeah
Yes
This show is sponsored by better help
Heck with my machete clear the overgrown grass.
I-oh, I've done it.
I-I found it.
This ancient city of...
BetterHelp.
Oh, what is Lemme walk through here.
This doesn't look ancient.
It looks like there's people thriving here.
What's-
Hey, Adel.
Hey, Adel, time.
Hey, Adel, you know me.
Yes.
What a weird thing to say to a hey, Adel.
Oh, you know us, right?
You're citizens of BetterHelp this town?
Yeah.
Yeah.
BetterHelp is therapy.
That's entirely online.
It's designed to be convenient, flexible,
and suited to your schedule.
I've been using it for a long time.
It works for the way that my brain works.
And we're just here talking about it celebrating it.
Hmm, yes.
I am here to celebrate it. You all seem very happy. This seems like a happy bunch of folks. Hmm, yes, I am here too celebrating it.
You all seem very happy.
This seems like a happy bunch of folks.
Hey, man, why don't you lose the sword?
Oh, it's a machete, not a sword.
I love it, but yeah, you're right.
It's all good.
Why don't I take that from you?
Yeah, we'll put this somewhere safe.
Okay, thank you.
Thank you for that.
I appreciate your better help.
Well, not really.
I'm not doing better help, but better help as therapy is actually pretty
toned to a person like me because I want to learn positive coping skills, I want to learn
how to set and force boundaries, and I want to check in with someone on my own schedule.
I love online therapy for that specific reason.
I don't know if you wanted to try it, all you would have to do is just fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched with a licensed
therapist and you could switch therapist any time for no additional charge.
Wow, you said fill out a stone tablet.
So there are some things that better help is not going to be qualified to help with
Adela.
This may be one of the maybe we get you to some other type of specialist. Okay. Yeah. That makes sense. But it seems here like
there are higher glyphics that say, make your brain your friend with better help. Visit
betterhelp.com slash or without a slash because I don't have my machete better help.com slash
riddle today to get 10% off your first month. That's better help. We uncover this moss help.com slash riddle better help.com slash riddle. Huh.
And this is a perfect example of something that not you, Adel, but I would be sharing with my therapist.
Okay. Okay. Everyone gather around gather around. Okay. Yeah. As I finish dusting off the ancient structure.
Boring. What if he says says this podcast is sponsored by Squarespace. Oh, well, that's
actually interesting. Squarespace. I've heard of this. Yes, it's the all-in-one website
platform for entrepreneurs to stand out and succeed online. Whether you're just starting
out or managing a growing brand, right? Squarespace, oh, what I hear,
makes it easy to create a beautiful website,
engage with your audience,
and sell anything from products to content to time,
all in one place, all in your terms.
Yes, that's what Squarespace is,
but the question, what is it doing,
bedded, here?
Yes, yes, doctor, yes, doctor. Well, I think they're pretty cool because they have they can host video
content, organize your video library and showcase your content on beautiful video pages and
sell access to your videos on the member areas.
It's super intuitive to use.
That's probably why it's buried down here.
Yeah.
And Dr. Dustoff, a world famous archaeologist, they even sell custom merch.
So we could get some Dr. Dustoff merch going.
You easily sell it, you create passive income,
it engages your audience, scales your brand,
is that sound good?
Yes, yes, yes, we all know about Squarespace,
and it's amazing features, like the asset library,
where you can organize and access all your content
for one place, where you can manage all your files
from one central hub and use them across the square space platform.
We know about the value of the square space, but the question is, what is it doing?
That ain't see.
Okay, Dr. Dustoff, we don't know, you're the archaeologist.
I'm sorry, what?
You're, I drove.
Oh.
Okay, well.
They call me Dr. Dustoff because when I get into a car accident
I make it kind of go away. I'm a smooth talker. I mean easy walker and I'm not mad looking either
Dr. Dustoff tips his fedora to the two of you
He just gave us fedora $20 that's too too much of a tip. And there's more of that
came from Hat at thescorspace.com for a free trial and when you're ready to
launch go to squarespace.com slash riddle to save 10% off your first purchase of
a website or domain. Dr. Dustoff, um...
You're my new favorite character. Please sign everything. Yeah, please, please show up in an episode
will you please? Okay, if you insist. Now hold on, I'm taking a call. Hello.
They're burning it down. Good. Oh, do we have insurance?
I got to take this. Okay. Yes.
This is just JP. Go left. Yeah, this is JP Riddle Center for Dora.
Okay. Casey says got the results. I got my results back from my therapist. I failed. See me after session. Casey, I've been there. I've been on the other side of that email
many times before. Just getting mental health is a work and progress. We're all just trying to get there
All right, you guys did you ready you ready for your pussy?
Mm-hmm. Yes, sir. Are you a little mad that you had your you had your dessert first?
Yeah, I got a true measure. Yeah, if that was a dessert, then I'm not sure I wouldn't know what's for dinner. Okay
Here's the Pussy can you come up with a three letter word where you can substitute?
It's gotta be got him got him got us absolutely fucking god
Goddamn, okay, can you come up with a three letter word where you can substitute the vowel of the word with all other vowels except why we don't have to do why so
A E I oh
in the goat, you.
And every time you do so, it makes another real word.
For example, C vowel B does not work
because although, even though cab, cob,
and cob are words, Kib and Kib are not.
Likewise, if I'm a favoring Nickelodeon show. Give it Kib and Kib are not. Likewise. My favorite Nickelodeon show.
Give it, Gav.
P vowel G does not because, well,
pig, pog, and puga words,
Pag is not a word.
Hmm.
They included three things that they found that would work.
Maybe there are others.
All you have to get is one.
All you have to get is.
Start with P and with N.
Okay, Aaron, do the math. Walk me through it.
Pan, pen, pin, pond,
hittin' pontificate.
I did it!
I did it!
There she is.
I did it.
This is three letters.
Aaron, that's really good because better than the example, that one has four words that work.
It just does not have, it just does not have that one.
I got so excited.
I forgot to test it with O.
I'm going to go with, I'm going to test with Pahn.
Starting with T and then with T, we have tat, sure for tatu, tat, as in four tat, the
band, tit, of course, tihi, tihi, taught as in Tater and taught as in Tutankhamun.
So that is another really good attempt.
Here's the thing, go ahead in your mind.
Just do all five of them before you bring me the answers.
I don't have to, I don't have to be the asshole who says,
I pass on that.
Okay.
M and T, But I haven't.
M and T.
But you haven't?
Matt.
But.
Oh no, that's not the same thing.
Oh I think I got one.
That's not the same thing.
I think a lot's not the same thing.
What about T and N?
We have 10.
10.
10.
And that's all the letters.
And then times spelled the British way.
To you.
And or T is either letter and N or T.
Is either letter and N or T?
There is one that works where a letter is a T, yes.
That they are listed.
Wow.
Look, I don't have to do this one.
I don't have to think about them.
I could just read the three,
they came up with three answers
and I think that's fine with me. Also, look at this.
This is a picture that Mariah just sent me of, whoa, a raccoon on the roof of the garage outside.
Oh, okay. She said spaghetti was freaking out about that raccoon. I was like, yeah,
get her away from that thing. The most fucked up thing is that the raccoon is burning the lens
of the camera like it's looking right at Mariah. I know. Well, I think I think when she took this picture, the raccoon was looking at the 55 pound German shepherds,
I was like, I want to eat you.
Do you think you summon raccoons by doing the JP Reddell's voice?
That's the first time I've ever seen a raccoon in the yard. And then like broad daylight, I think it's also weird.
You know, raccoons are the largest North American marsupial.
Can't be right.
Yeah.
What about the neutrino marsupials?
The thing about raccoons is they're very dangerous,
but they're so fucking cute looking.
They look like little trash pandas.
They're so cute.
Rot, rot, rat.
No, it's not rot, rot, rot, rot, rot.
Is T the last letter when it does work?
Aaron, there is one where T is the last letter, yeah.
Is SUT the three letter word?
Is this like Scrabble rules where it's like somebody plays like RLM and you're like,
that's not a word and then you look in the Scrabble dictionary and you're like, I guess.
You don't need to use Scrabble rules.
There's one that they included where I think that you would have to use Scrabble Rules for it,
but.
But it's not S beginning with S ending in T.
Lots C.
Cause it works except for.
It's not.
It's not S.
It's not S.
Sutt doesn't work.
Well, that's what I call Sutton Foster,
cause we're on good terms.
You told me the other week that you weren't on speaking terms.
Oh, sorry.
Okay, okay, so you go ahead and cut that.
That's a dancing term.
Meta does G. It's not G cat. Okay, uh, Aaron, one of your first
guesses had the right first letter. P. Is it being walked me through it?
Pat, pat, pot, putt. His feet. Yes.
Put his piece. Put it, yes.
I love you.
The other one that they had that they had found was P and P. You have PAP, PEP, PEP, PEP,
POP and POP.
And then the other one that they found was DNG because you have DAG, DAG, DAG, DAG and
DAG.
And DAG is the one where they said that apparently Deg and UK
listeners, you can let us know Bill and Brunswick, which may or may not be in the UK, says Deg,
D-E-G, means to water a plant in the UK.
Well, famously, as mentioned before in an episode, Brad Pitt in the movie Snatch says,
they like eggs.
Yeah, they go like eggs.
They like eggs.
They like eggs. and the movie snatch says, do you like dags? And they go, I just do like dags. Like dags.
So I guess Bill, if you are using Brad Pitt
and the movie snatch rules,
which we're always using.
The two Brad Pitt rules that are always welcome
on this podcast are the one from snatch,
where you can say,
and the one from Ocean's 11,
where you always could just be eating
for whatever reason and all times.
Okay, I wanna read this next one.
This is the email that we got from 2018.
I think this is an honest mistake.
You could let me know what you think.
I'm gonna read the email verbatim.
Hey Adolf here at a GPC.
Yeah.
Okay.
Honest mistake, I guess.
It seems like maybe like an auto correct issue, right?
I don't think you have voice memo.
Yeah.
Usually when it's a voice memo though, it doesn't get JPC right, but that tickled me.
I have a riddle for you guys.
I heard of a Batman show, so you might be familiar with this riddle.
Here it is.
Four words I'm having backwards. I'm not. What am I? It's not a four words backwards riddle. Isn't that a fun theme for the episode?
Having
Four words I'm having backwards. I'm not are saying having or having. Oh, yeah, I'm saying having with a V. Okay. I'll
Half what she's having Yes
Words I'm having backwards. I'm not so this is like
Yarnar something so it's yarnar
I'm having fun and then I've had enough
I'm having fun and then I've had enough. Actually, that's pretty great.
Here's a cheese.
I've had enough and I'm having fun.
Aaron, I'll give that one to you.
I think that works.
So what are some words of affirmation?
Yes.
Now that I've reading this riddle in the answer, I don't necessarily know.
Maybe there isn't a spelling in here.
Maybe this is a voice to text.
Because forwards, I'm having.
I don't necessarily know, it makes a lot of sense.
Backwards I'm not does make sense though.
Orwards I'm having.
So the answer is going to help you with this.
So you're saying when you read the answer we're not sure if it even fits the forward I'm
having.
Yeah, but the backwards I'm not part is really really quite there.
So I think you can get that part on and no
No, okay think more literally backwards. I'm not
Ton
Yeah, it's it's not
But they say the answer the riddle above is ton this is because a ton is heavy
But four words I'm having was the clue there, okay, does it mean maybe four words?
I'm heavy backwards. I'm not is that what they were going for yeah, and I think our first clue was calling me eight off
So here's what I'll say
If you want to finish if you're the right of riddle to the show finish your sky dive
If you want to finish, if you want to read a rental to the show, finish your skydive. I'd like to see a scene.
You are two skydivers and you've decided to email our show, Midway Through, skydiving.
Oh, hey, I just thought of a rental and I want to send it to that podcast.
Which podcast? Ah!
Oh my God, I had it a second ago,
but then when you asked me the question, I lost it.
Yeah, well, let's compose the email first
and then we'll figure it out.
Okay, let me get up my phone.
What, okay, that's gone.
That's gone.
We'll remember it.
We'll remember it.
We'll remember it.
Oh, you hit your guy in the face and now he's passed out
Oh, you were to end him skydiving. Oh
Perfect getter skydiver. Let's hurry up with the riddles so we can get okay
Wait get out your phone call for help because my guys passed out. Okay. Oh, I let go and I hit your guy in the face again
He's back awake. Good. Okay
Basically, he's back awake. Good!
Okay.
Oh, he's panicking.
He doesn't know.
He's somehow lost his memory, but he knows piano.
Guy, it's okay, it's okay.
We're trying to remember what podcast
I was gonna email a Ritalite thought to too.
Where am I?
No, that's not it.
It's seen.
Okay.
Okay. Okay.
We've been doing it for too long with the answer is no, that's not it.
No.
All right.
Shut up, you guys.
I forgot that I picked this one, that I have to get to this one, because I think you're going to very much like it.
This is actually a newer email.
And let me see, do I have permission?
Well, whatever.
Dan is the person that sent this email email and that's an ambiguous enough name. Dan has a game inspired by a recent episode that we have done. And the game
is called Penguin, Base, or Ball. Penguin, Base, or Ball. I don't know what that could
be inspired by, but that's what it is. And we'll never know. So Dan says, I've been inspired
to make a little game after the episode where something
happened.
Each player will pause in to determine whether the question is referring to penguins,
bases, or balls.
Keep in mind that some of the words have multiple definitions, and as a bonus, some questions
are made up of rules for penguin baseball.
Are made up rules for penguin baseball.
Okay, so here's your easy example.
These are often in close proximity
to one another for security purposes as well as temperature regulation.
Penguins. Adel, you didn't pose it.
Puzz, penguins.
Eric, you got the answer exactly correct. Adel is paying for it dearly. Yes, the answer
is penguin. Penguins typically had it together for warmth, but also help the group know when predators are nearby, okay?
Because the last thing here's what I'll say if I'm a polar bear and I'm one of the largest land mammals
Mm-hmm, and I'm ferocious and one of the most dangerous creatures of all time if I'm charged towards a penguin to eat it
The last thing I want is several of them bunching together because oh no now
I'm gonna get the largest you think of the largest until you see that thing, you're like, what the fuck is that?
It's like now instead of one snack, I get 25.
It's like bowling then.
It's like bowling then.
Yeah.
Forbes together and just start smacking
on the poor polar bear with arms made of penguins.
Okay, here we go.
Here's the next one.
Penguin, bass or ball, you gotta buzz in.
Yeah.
These are camouflage utilizing a stealth concept
called counter shading.
Puzz.
Addle?
It's probably military bases.
Okay, Aaron, do you want to try to guess?
Penguin!
It is penguins.
When in water, penguins back so usually a dark shade so they can blend in with the ocean
when viewed from above.
And bellies are usually white so they can blend in with daylight when viewed from below. Wow, I had no idea that's why they were blocking with it. I think Adoles
made sense. Yeah, Adoles to do. I think the bellies of military bases are white for
a reason. But you know what, they probably military bases probably got that from penguins.
They probably saw penguins in the wild. Oh, shit, we could use this to make war. Let's
just do what they're doing. Okay, so it's one nothing Aaron is in the lead. A specific type of these can admit a pungent smell to repel small flying creatures. Puzz.
Addle. Nasty as balls. Addle is balls. Specifically, mothballs used to prevent moths or other
critters from eating your clothes in storage or the closet. And I think it's two one, right?
One, no, the example one didn't know.
Oh, I see, I see.
This motherfucker is trying to score points
on the example.
Aaron, can you believe him?
I was trying to give Aaron a point.
You were trying to give me a point.
So yes, I can believe him very much.
So what a genius.
What a mind.
You both just lost a point.
It's not as easy as you.
No, come on, DBC, don't play God.
Play.
These tend to be slippery and bitter, but are neutralized when its opposite is introduced.
Puzz.
Attle.
Bass.
Attle, that is a bass.
You're on the board with one point bass is in the opposite of acids in chemistry.
And the south and the base love it never die
When and when the egg lands in the ocean after a home slide the opposing team can attempt to dive into the water
To retrieve the egg before the hitting team slides home
Puzz what?
Aaron penguin baseball that. Penguin baseball. That's a penguin baseball.
Yes.
The answer there is penguin baseball.
Aaron, you're on the board with one.
The outside of the piece is fuzzy.
No, one.
And you're lucky to have the one that God gave you.
Whatever God.
The outside of the piece is fuzzy for the purposes of regulating speed and direction.
Also, this fuzzy, regulating speed and direction.
Outside this fuzzy, regulating speed,
Aaron?
Penguin.
Addle, which I just killed.
Puzz ball, tennis ball.
It is ball as in tennis ball,
the fuzzy outside is called the nap,
and it creates a drag,
so the ball travels a bit slower
and is easier to impart spin
as it travels through the air.
Wow, we're all learning a lot from this game too. Can you imagine? No, I never learned.
You sold upon a little nest of tennis balls
and they were napping.
Oh.
Okay, actually.
You have to be then by chewing up baseballs
and spitting them into their mouths.
What a tennis ball.
Eat baseball, stop drugs.
I think so.
Tennis balls eat baseballs.
Base balls eat footballs.
But balls eat basketball, obviously.
And basketballs eat tennis balls.
The circle balls.
Circle of balls.
Okay, here we go.
These are covered with a type of oil, specifically for protection.
Puzz.
Addle.
It's gotta be penguins.
Addle, that is penguins.
Of course, penguins have a gland that produces waterproof oil,
which it rubs all over its body and feathers for protection against the cold.
You don't oil out your bowling balls? Wow.
So remember, if there's an oil spill in the Arctic, the penguins are loving it.
Now, I have a gland, but the oil that it makes sucks. I can't find these for this stuff.
The film portrays the struggles and difficulties after a particular incident involving flight.
Puzz. Puzz.
Addle. Is this the March of the Penguins?
Oh, it is not.
Oh. After Ferryt?
Buh. Bay. Buzz Bay.
Buh. I need a final answer for you. I heard a lot of whispering.
Ball.
Okay, no points awarded for this. This is the plot to the movie base, a film made in 2017,
with social reviews and a 67% of rotten tomatoes. Never heard of it. But it was pre-pandemic,
so who could remember? Roosters come and make a scene. What a foul ball occurs
That's a puzzle. This is gotta be penguin baseball. That is penguin baseball the penguin baseball ones
I think are a little easier to get
These are raised by various numbers depending on context most often seen in
exponentially related scenarios
Puzz. No one wants to answer this one. I can see it in the air.
Puzz.
Base.
Air it is a base.
The number raised to a power is called
its base in mathematical terms.
I think Adel's still up by one though.
No, I'm up by three.
Who's?
What are have it?
No, don't.
Oh, I'll let her have it.
Here comes the dust one.
Ha, ha, ha.
One of these are found 1,850 feet underwater.
Puzz.
Attle.
It's got to be some sort of base.
Aaron?
Ball.
No, it is a penguin.
The Australian Antarctic program has recorded the deepest that the Emperor penguins have
dived underwater to be around 565 meters, which is
1853 feet. Is that insane?
Only one of them did that?
Were they scared?
Yeah. Have we checked on them?
Or did they go to the top?
Yeah.
They just lost. That sounds like the Michael Phelps of their big
with like, yeah, long body, smoke sweet.
That's Tony. He's insane.
I love some boys.
Yeah.
Okay.
Oh, God.
Okay.
This word is pronounced phonetically for people like me.
And JPC of course is the Ryan Lockdown of England.
Okay.
Here we go.
Metatarsulja.
Metatarsulja is a term related to these.
Meditarcel, Juh.
Meditarcel, Juh.
Puzz.
Addle?
Give Aaron a point.
Ah.
I will. When you answer.
I'm a penguin.
A voice of a generation, Adelrify.
Aaron, Adelr is a penguin, penguin is incorrect.
You do have a chance to get that point
you was trying to give you.
Puzz. Buzz.
Ball.
Is this like the ball of your foot or something?
Specifically the balls of your feet.
Yes, metatarsis, metatarsis, that's something, huh?
With a foot or something?
It's not a smart guy, podcast, okay?
It's a three really dumb guys podcast.
Here's the next one.
This is the for all the marbles in the bag.
Mm-hmm.
I think we are actually tied up.
So I think that this actually is
for a big bag of marbles.
Marbles balls?
They have to be, marbles.
That's marbles.
Marbles.
Huh.
Huh.
You know what?
I'm not even gonna read the last one.
We got the point with marbles.
We're smart.
Thank you, Dan.
We haven't lost our marbles. We're smart. Thank you Dan. We're gonna
loss our Marbles. We have not lost our Marbles. We have all the Marbles we'll ever need. Hey,
but if we need some more Marbles, are we even done this in a while? Casey, why don't we play
a new voicemail theme? Attention, this is the HRRPZ and we could use a little health in the community, one JB Rills is a suspect at large, one for theft and raccoon murder shark,
last scene wearing nothing but multiple rain jackets.
Some kind of scar,
a fashioned out of ketchup hack,
if his wear of often orders are both currently a mystery,
seeing him don't approach
as he has a violent history.
He asks him down to the station.
If it happened to have any information,
I give us a call contact, it's by phone.
If you reach the voice,
mail, leave your message to the town dial 805 alright double DLE 1 805 alright double DLE 1
Maybe we'll catch that wacky son of a gun style 805 alright double DLE 1
Oh my god
Amazing whoever whoever sent that you please you start up our guest and let me listen to it. Yes
Okay, that was
Amazing, I believe, that was amazing.
I believe that that was a voicemail theme
called Suspect at Large from Jesse Bloodgood
from New York State.
Said Long-Tan Fan, first time song submitter.
So thank you so much, Jesse.
Incredible, 10 out of 10.
10 out of 10, Jesse, thank you so much again
if you ever want to submit a voicemail theme song.
Just send it to hrpartpodcast.gmail.com
and try to keep it to around 30 seconds.
Hey, speaking of things that you could try to keep
to around 30 seconds, Casey, do we have a voicemail to play?
Hi, my name is Melody, and I've been a fan for a long time.
I think that JCCB's the most chaotic, awesome guy.
Aaron is an angel upon the third,
and Adela is a dupe pun more,
and I'm so glad that this podcast exists. Finally,
I'm getting married and they made some help with my vows. So can you guys please give me some
ideas. Thank you. I love you all. Oh my gosh, this is so sweet. Adela is nodding a long.
They want ideas for their vows. Now, I think that I think
Melody your name is like a melody I was not thinking about their name I was thinking about what their partners they might be because I have to write vows for this fucking person
Uh, and I know vows are supposed to be specific
So so what I'm gleaming from your partner from the very little I know about them. They seem tall
So I would be with that. I would go. I would set the vowels with holy shit, your tall.
I think that's great.
I think you should start your vowels with,
hey, thanks for being here.
Yeah.
Thanks for showing up.
Or hey, it's nice to see you.
That's my idea.
I think that's fantastic.
I would say start immediately with I do.
Get that out of the way.
Then big, big breath, big deep breath,
and then you're relaxed and then just have a conversation.
Because I think it'd be nice to just,
to set a precedent where couples are stressed about vows.
Don't stress.
You say I do immediately,
then they bring in a little table and chair,
and you just sit down and you have a casual conversation
in the audience is what I think that's called
at the audience. The audience gets to just sort of enjoy the two of you chatting with each other.
Here's the thing too. And this is this is a common mistake for people who are inexperienced public
speakers, which this is I mean, let's face it. That's what you're doing when you're doing your
vows. You're doing public speech. You want to hold for laughs and hold for applause. If you're
running through this whole thing, you think to think you've got five minutes.
Hold for everything.
You probably got ten minutes because you're not giving yourself enough time.
So I want you to do long pauses.
I want you to look at your partner and say,
we'll just call this person Mark.
I want you to look at your partner and say,
Mark, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight.
And then I'm, you're in tall. What if you also did? Five six seven eight and then a big boy so hot.
What if you also did?
I feel like maybe the British office started this and then obviously the American office
in Parks and Rec and all sorts of shows have picked up on it.
What if you did your vows and you're like saying them you're like, oh my gosh, I love
you so much.
But then you go off to the sidens like one of those camera confessionals.
Yes.
Yeah.
We should work those more into weddings because I think that's fun.
We all love those.
I have an idea.
I think you should steal Mark's vows and make sure you go first.
Wow.
So my, my, and this isn't, this is real advice.
Um, and you should know that this if you were there, but Mariah and I did not
do like traditional vows for ourselves.
Because vows, I feel like I very much like I promise, right?
Like I, you know, to have them to hold
and to love and to care or whatever.
But they're like things that I promise to do.
We didn't like that whole idea of that.
We wanted to be more personal.
So we wanted to do like,
wedding speeches about like what we liked about the other person
and what we loved about the other person.
And so that's what we ended up doing,
but also it did give me an opportunity
to also work in some slams.
And I think that it's just as important
to be nice and sincere,
but also if you can work in some slams
that'll play in front of the crowd, do that as well.
Humble them.
What did you get any slams in about you? Any funny jokes?
Let's see.
Someone marrying me.
Did they have any ammunition to be able to deliver a slam?
I wonder, I wonder if I bulletproof.
I'll take sure directly.
I'll ask him for that.
I'll ask him directly, I think.
I'll take my answer offline. Well, congratulations on getting married. And I would say just be sweet and specific into the point.
Oh, and on your wedding night, enjoy finally getting to try what sex feels like.
Oh, gross. Ignore. Okay. Here it thinks it feels gross. Now I've been a different camp. To me, it's like going to the bathroom. It feels like. Ew, gross. Hmm. Ignore. Okay, here it thinks it feels gross. Now, I've been a different Kip.
To me, it's like going to the bathroom.
It feels great.
Uh, Addle.
Yes.
Hi.
Hi.
Holy shit, your tall.
Anything good to plug?
Ha ha ha.
I want to plug lifts.
If you have shoes, get lifts.
They make it a little bit taller and people notice.
Also, you can check out Hullif from the Magic Tavern. Tell me about it, and the word association podcasts,
if you're looking for something new to add to your rotation. I believe by the time this
comes out, JPC will have been on an episode of the word association. So if you're looking
for an entry point, start there. Aaron, do you have anything to plug?
I would also like to double down on the word association and also billbuds check
them out easy listening I'd say
JPC anything to read a review
I don't think a dick if I don't at least plugs it cut the
No, I'm gonna throw it in there. I have a plug is it cut the idiot. A lot of my friends are on that show
I'm gonna plug that one as well. Yes
And I also want to give a little plug to a little independent game studio called Larry and games
They have a little game called studio called Larian Games.
They have a little game called Baldur's Gate 3.
It's an indie.
It's a start-up.
I'm really hoping that these guys do well.
I'm really hoping that they sell a lot of tickets
to their game or whatever.
Check it out.
It's a pretty fun time.
This five star of you is from, oh boy, fighting.
And g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g.
Thank you everyone for spilling your name
in a way that I could read it.
It's another little fun addition to this. Their review says blurp. Boo, boop, bip, skiffle, dd, whoop,
bop door, whoo, skadoo, boop, piffle wiggle, bing, bing, whiz, bop, for do, ding, ding,
dong, ping, pong, kinkong, wing, wong, sink, song, lama, lama, pip pip pip pip pip pip
pop. Do anybody speak SCAT? We do have Aaron, I believe you do know the SCAT man. Is that correct? Yes
Famously he's he's from SCAT, but oh, which in SCAT means
Skipping up of the bee by forever You know, I'm sorry, you're a demon. And John Patrick calling.
Casey Tony to the editing.
I already heard you in the music.
You're a demon.
You're a demon.
You're a demon.
You're a demon.
You're a demon.
You're a demon.
You're a demon.
Take it or hate, break, break, break, yo! Hey there horses and spiders, if you like that you're gonna love this week's Patreon.
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