Hey Riddle Riddle - #322: Shreked By Lightning w/ Allison Reese

Episode Date: September 18, 2024

We are still out in LA playing the daily game Spotle with our friend Allison Reese. All that plus we have some beligerent bankers, bulk buying in the great beyond and an old dog who still has some tricks. Nothing has changed in the world since we recorded this. Check out Allison's podcast The N'Kay Hour.Starring:Adal RifaiJohn Patrick CoanErin KeifGuest Starring:Allison ReeseEditing by: Casey ToneyTheme by: Arne ParrottLogo by: Emily Kardamis & Emmaline MorrisWant more? Get Weekly Bonus Eps on Patreon!JPC's Guided Meditations Volume 1, available now at our Patreon digital store!Want merch? Visit our TeePublic Store! or pins, buttons & printsWant to mail us something? Hey Riddle Riddle 6351 W Montrose Ave #267Chicago, IL, 60634Want to leave us a voicemail? Call (805) RIDDLE-1 or (805-743-3531)Want to advertise on the show? Check out Hey Riddle Riddle via Gumball.fmThis episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/RIDDLE and get on your way to being your best self.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Podcast. I'm on a horse and I'm riding. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight. I had a little GPC, you guys. Oh my God, sorry. You know how I got chickens? Live chickens, and they're in my backyard?

Oh yes, that's right. You said you wanted it for friendship and eggs. Yeah, that was in confidence. I told you I needed them. You were gonna freeze their eggs or something so you could have chickens when you're in their 30s? Yeah, you guys are sort of getting your wires crossed with a lot of the secrets I've told you.

I know I got an email from you and I'm trying to remember the details of it. You were told to freeze your eggs, but you said you didn't want your eggs. You wanted chicken eggs. Okay, you guys, actually, why am I letting you talk so much? Okay, I... Because you said you didn't want to be a geriatric hen?

Okay! Okay, I don't, yeah. This is what's actually happening right now. I went to go collect it with my little basket this morning. I went to go collect the eggs, right? From the chickens. Oh, okay, sure. I remember what it was. She's in love with the main guy from Rock-A-Doodle.

Yes. Yes, okay, sorry. Erin, go ahead. Can I not tell any secrets to anyone anymore? These are secrets? I'm collecting the eggs, right? Yeah. And I go and I go to reach in, guess what? A fox.

Chicken laid instead of an egg. What? A riddle. Oh no. It freaked me out. How could you tell? Was it like a see-through egg or was it golden? Golden.

Golden, you open it and it was like, what opens in the morning? And I was like, oh my God. It spoke. Little egg mouth or something like that. Yeah, it was smug. Yeah, like what? Was it an ant or an egg?

Was it like self-involved? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So I killed that chicken and that's what we're eating today. This is a goose. Oh. Oh, it looks like all these eggs are golden. These seem pretty solid actually. And that is a goose. Oh. Oh, it looks like all these eggs are golden. These seem pretty solid, actually. And that is good improv.

Welcome to Hey Riddleriddle. We are eating a goose today. She ate. She ate. We are still in LA. The internet. I don't know. We're still in LA.

We're feeling a little punchy. This is our eighth episode of Nines this week. So we're feeling a little wackadoo. And that's good news, because we have another fantastic guest, who we had the pleasure of doing some improv with in Chicago, Alison Rees. Welcome to the show!

Welcome, Alison. Thank you so much for having me. A dream. Alison, are you feeling a little wackadoo? We're feeling a little wackadoo. A little wackadoo? I am. It's been a weird day, so I'm feeling a little wackadoo? We're feeling a little wackadoo. A little wackadoo? I am, it's been a weird day. So I'm feeling a little like,

well, what else is gonna happen? You found glass in your mouth 20 minutes ago. I found glass in my mouth 20 minutes ago, so if this episode comes out and I'm dead, that's why. Well, we don't know. Well, we don't know. Well, wait for the autopsy to be like, cause of death, glass in the mouth.

Or Riddle podcast. Or Riddle podcast, yeah. That's what they'll say. Just very quickly, because I, God bless that. One time we came, I used to live with my. Did it sneeze? No, I'm just saying, God bless. God bless the glass in your mouth.

Saying if I died it was that. Oh, oh. It's so fucking funny, and it reminds me very quickly of, I used to live with my grandma, and one day we came home and she was asleep on the couch It reminds me very quickly of, I used to live with my grandma, and one day we came home and she was asleep on the couch and pinned to her chest with a piece of paper, and it says, if I'm dead, I smelled gas.

So my grandma was home alone, smelled gas, took a nap, took a nap, woke up and was like, if I, cause you might die if there's a gas leak, you might die during your sleep. So she wrote it down and pinned it to her chest with a brooch. Didn't go outside, didn't call anyone. If I died, I smelled gas.

That feels like the age where you're like, I've lived a good life. I don't need to find the source of this gas leak. I'm just okay with it. Could also be a prank by a kid or something like that. You think a kid stuck into your grandma's house? I smelled gas. Put it on their butt. Let's go put a note on that sleeping grandma down the street.

Can't we just do drugs? No. Allison, I've always wanted to have you on the show because some incredibly cruel timing by the universe happens to us in 2020. It always happens, yeah. So you got added as a full-time World News Tonight cast member. That's true. happens, yeah. Yes. So you got added as a full-time World News Tonight cast member.

That's true. In maybe like December or January of 2020, like right before lockdown. It was like a couple months before lockdown. Yeah, yeah. It was, I want to say, end of November? End of November 2019, you got added. Yeah, something like that.

So we had such a short amount of time to play with you on World News. I know. And then it all went to shit. Some of my favorite improv moments were from that very short amount of time. That's amazing. There was one time during a show you were pregnant

and not really, like in the scene, right? Right. Yeah, Aaron's not that good. So do I have that confidence? But in the scene you did a spin move like you were in The Sims and suddenly had a baby. It was maybe one of the best moments of my life. The eye contact we made, we immediately died laughing.

Yeah. And you were like, are you a Sim? And I was like, that's exactly what I was thinking. So now anytime I come across anything Sims related, it's a, I said it your way. Wait, so Erin, you weren't really pregnant in that show? No. Then why did you always tell me to stop pushing you before?

I used to do that in basketball. What, push people? Push people. Put the ball under your shirt and do it? Put the ball under my shirt and do it. Oh, right. No, no. It was actually mean.

People, if they fouled me, I'd be like, you hurt the baby. Oh, yeah. That's really funny. That's not mean. People, if they fouled me, I'd be like, you hurt the baby. Oh, yeah. That's really funny. That's not mean. It's all fair in basketball. If I were a coach, I'd be like, you're a comedian. Yeah. Get the hell out of here.

Get the fuck out of here. Was it mean when Michael Jordan would buy people's dad's houses and have them demolish to then play against them? No, it's fair. It's all fair. It's skill. It's a game of skill. You know, when you put it that way, you're right.

That's not mean. Michael Jordan did do stuff like that, right? He was notoriously like a big trash talker. I don't think he would buy people's dad's homes and kick them out of it. I think the most sort of famous egregious example of that is he invited his high school basketball coach to his hall of fame ceremony.

And the guy was like, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God. Got a new suit, was like, oh my God, honey, I'm going to the, Michael remembers me. Goes to the ceremony and during his Hall of Fame speech, he's like, I was sat during my high school, during my junior year or whatever, my coach sat me. He didn't think I was good enough to play. He's here in the room and spent like 20%

of his Hall of Fame induction speech, giving it to this dude. So he was making probably $40, to this dude. Dead, dead. He was making probably $40,000 a year. Yes, yeah. That's crazy. Okay, so if you had Michael Jordan money, who is the person that you would be so fucking petty to? Who is it? You.

Yeah, of course. Yeah, probably JPC. You, are you kidding? Yeah. But would you waste it on me? Yes. Knowing that I'd be like, who are you? Oh God, no you wouldn't.

You know me. I'd probably buy Mariah like Jason Momoa or something. Yeah, yeah. Oh, I would. I'd buy her Jason Momoa. You'd buy my wife Jason Momoa? Well, good luck, because I would work pretty well. Allison, what is your relationship

with riddles, puzzles, lateral thinking problems, escape rooms, hurdles? I actually just did an escape room for the first time and came out with like a new group of friends. Wow. Amazing. But I don't know if I am good at that or not. But did you have fun?

I had a lot of fun. Doesn't get good at making friends. That's the bonus. Yeah, maybe or maybe. What was the theme of the room? We were mice in a lab. Lab rat. Lab rat, yeah. That's one of the room? We were mice in a lab. A lab rat! Lab rat, yeah.

That's one of the best escape rooms in town. It is, yeah, that's what they said. And I was like, this is my only one, I don't know. You could be telling me anything. So the concept is you're a lab rat, but you're human, and there's lab rats who are full size. Yeah, and so the scientists were rats. And you were humans, but you were the lab rat

and you had to escape. Experiments. Did you get out? Did you escape? We did. Great. And everything's huge. So it's like, it's scale as if you were a lab rat in a wheel or whatever, but it's scale to everything.

That'd probably give me months worth of nightmares. Nothing that would talk with me. I probably should stay away. Do you wanna go? Yeah, whenever you want. All right, cool, great. Jamie, text me. It's not like months of compounding nightmares

because you already have nightmares. So it's not like you're gonna have like long, it's not like you're gonna have like nightmare debt to pay off. You know what? I just got put on medicine for nightmares. I didn't know that there's medicine specifically for nightmares. Yeah, vodka.

Vodka? Vodka. You could drink vodka and not have any more nightmares. I assume, I don't drink, so that's, I- No, no, that'll give you worse nightmares. Drinking makes your nightmares worse. Is it night terrors, or is it just nightmares? Yeah, it's like night, I would say like night terrors.

Do you like get up, do you wake up and you're like halfway sitting up or anything like that? No, I luckily don't have any like dream enactment stuff. That's super stressful. But I haven't dreamed since they put me on it. I haven't dreamed at all. So you just go to sleep and then you wake up and you're like, well, now it's this time.

Yeah. That's crazy. I've been like a dreamer my whole life, like vivid dreams that I remember really well. And now I'm like, well, that's gone, I guess. I thought I was having night terrors in my early 20s, but it turns out it was a real demon who was stabbing Yeah, thank God and he's in you now. You're him now. Well, who knows where I begin But it's like I was so relieved to not be having night terrors

The doctor's like we're pretty sure he's real. He's mean The doctor's like, we're pretty sure he's real. He's mean. Okay, well, hey, we have to do riddles. So you said that you liked the escape room. I liked the escape room. I thought it was fun. I mean, I do spotle, which is Spotify wordle. Ooh.

What the fuck? So like a song title or something? So it gives you like a list of things and you guess the artist and it's like, oh, there's one person in the group, like green, you got that part, or it's this genre. Have you played today? I haven't.

Let's do it. Okay, yeah, this is a new tradition on the show where we play one of these games. It's just called Spotle. I think so. Okay, well, we'll figure it out and we'll find it. Spotle, the daily. My last Google was what'll figure it out and we'll find it. Spottle, the daily. My last Google was what to do

if you have glass in your mouth. Ah, why? How do you spell Spottle? S-P-O-T-L-E. Yeah, music wordle game, boom. Okay. Okay, so it looks like Spottle. What it says here is it says,

guess the artist of the day. Search for an artist to make your first guess. You just, you have to listen to it, right? No, you don't listen to anything. You just put in a person's name. Or an artist or a group. Okay. It's almost like Wordle where there's no starting hints.

You start with a word and then from there it'll say. Yeah. I'm gonna put in Ed Sheeran. Wait, are we all putting in the same one? We should all do different ones, I think. No. It was right, so. Oh, not today.

Not today. So today was Ed Sheeran? No, no, no. I don't know what today is. Well, we can't play it together. We can't play it together if we're all doing it. So I think we have to agree. Let's maybe, we'll start with Erin going this way.

Got it, got it. OK. So we'll go with Ed Sheeran. Oh, and it helps that it's helpful that it pops up with the name. So then we have one green, and it helps that it's helpful that it pops up with the name. So then we have one green and it's male gender. OK. That is correct. So it's not a debut in 2011.

It's not a solo. It's not a popularity of number five. Wait, what is the popularity number five? Is it telling me that Ed Sheeran's the number five most popular? On Spotify. On Spotify. I think it's like most played solo male from UK maybe?

Yeah. And it's not a pop and it's not from the UK. Okay, so Alison, you're up next, correct? Yeah. My guess is Bon Jovi. Okay. Okay. Ooh, we got green and- Ooh, wow.

What's a yellow mean? Have you played this yet? I started to and my guess was Bon Jovi. Okay. So Ivi. Okay. So I figured. Okay. Okay, so green means correct, right? Green is correct.

So it's a male rock genre from the USA and it debuted. In the 80s? No, above 1984. Above the 80s. Above 1984. Bruce Springsteen. Okay, so wait, but you don't get to guess,

but you don't get to guess, Erin. Don't you dare type in Bruce Springsteen. I won't. It's Addle's turn, Addle gets to go. Sorry, Addle. And it says members five, and it says members solo, and those are both, so it's like a certain number of members. It'll tell you the number if you get the number right.

I'm so sorry, you said the arrow up means it's Later I think. 85 or later. Yeah, yeah. Okay, but below 2011 I think. Yeah, of their debut. And I think that yellow means it's close, right? Because the other one was gray, which I'm assuming is.

I'm gonna assume, yeah. So maybe late 80s. So probably like late 80s. Mid to late 80s. Rock. It's not a solo act and it's a rock band from the USA and the gender is male and the gender is male Okay, interesting I'm going to go with

Thompson twins is more synth than rock. I can't think of like a rock We've talked about this all over the post Let's we're gonna go with We're gonna go with... We're gonna go with... Would you like, Addle, could I go and then maybe... What the heck, you just jumped down, Matt? I haven't gone yet. Let's go with Genesis.

You're gonna go with Genesis? Even though they're... Wait, isn't that a... No, they're British, they're British. They're British. I just guessed Genesis. Well, we all have to now, because that all said it. No, no, no, no.

I did it too. We all have to, sorry. I'm sorry. Maybe you gained something from it. Sorry, everyone. Did will set it. No, no, no, no. I did it too. We all have to, sorry. I'm sorry. Maybe you gained something from it. Sorry, everyone. Did you gain anything? No, it's male and rock. I'm doing Tears for Fears,

and they're also from the UK. Are they? Why did you do that? I assumed that Tears for Fears was an American band. Oh, I know what I'm gonna guess next. I'm gonna guess Bruce Springsteen. Oh, oh, and the year is the debut. The year is the debut. So don't do Bruce Springsteen. Oh, and the year's the debut. The year's the debut.

So don't do Bruce Springsteen because he debuted way before the 80s. Oh, in the 70s. I already did it. You already did it, so we're all doing Bruce Springsteen now. Mine is Twisted Sister. Oh.

It's not gonna be that, but maybe it'll help us somehow. Okay, Twisted Sister. It's not coming up. They hate them. It's not, I guess it's not on there. What about Journey? Journey. Well, 83 though? Journey hate them. Oh, weird. It's not, I guess it's not on there. What about Journey? Journey.

Well, 83 though, what is it? Journey is the 70s, right? Yeah, I feel like Journey came out before that. We're really bad at this so far. Quiet Riot. Okay, Quiet Riot. White Snake. You doing White Snake?

Well, I'm just listing some. But are you? Yeah, because I don't know any. Late 80s rock bands is here at Fall Career Metal. Oh, but it's not a solo. Yeah, it's not a solo person. And it's not five members. It's not a group of five.

It's not a group of two either. I would really like it if one of the categories was featured on I Love the 80s. Yeah. Featured on VH1's I Love series. Or like, your dad loves this. Yeah, I don't know. This is some tough shit.

I think that this is a fun game, though. It is a fun game. I've never heard of this game, and I wish that I was better at music to be better at this game. Let's see. Yeah, I don't know. I don't know. Whose turn is it?

I feel like we're going to give Sam a heart attack, because he's a music guy, and you know. Holy shit No, the the debut is after 83 so it's it could be after 84 after 84. I love Alison's hair metal It could be hair metal. Okay, I think it's gonna rock. Yeah, I twist this this right that that genre I think it's great. Yeah. Yeah, when was guns and roses? Oh, that was probably 86 or something? Let's do Guns N' Roses. Guns N' Roses.

It's on there. 87, it was 87. On the nose. Now we know that it's a rock band from 1987. Gender is male from the USA. I see R.E.M. but that's a totally different way. Are they UK? I thought it was American.

It is American. It is American. You know, REM, they have a song that men cry to the most, statistically speaking. Is that, That's me in the corner. It's everybody hurts. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.

Men. Men are like finally. I like that, it's very sweet. It's a very like direct, hey, it's okay. How they gonna say shiny, happy people? Like, are men okay? Shiny, happy people. Well, Bob Marley's saying no woman, no cry,

and men were like, I guess we don't have feelings. I'm just now finding out that men can be hurt. Uh-oh, makes me think of my dad in a whole new way. Okay, I guessed REM. Okay. They were 83, so. So we're really getting. So it is 87. We're fucked up.

And they're listed as alternate. So it's not four members either, what the heck? It's not four, it's not five. What's a three member? We're almost out of guesses. We're almost out of guesses, because we all had to do R.E.M. Did anybody do a two member?

Yeah, we did. Two member rock band from 87. We are trying to. Hall and Oates. Ooh. I'm just gonna guess this, because we all have to do REM. Did anybody do a two member? Or not? Two member rock band from 87. We are trying to. Hall and Oats. Ooh. Hall and Oats. That's not rock though, right? I don't know. That's gotta be like. Hall or Oats.

Yeah, let's do Hall and Oats. What about Aerosmith? No, earlier. Aerosmith might have been earlier than 87. Aerosmith was definitely earlier. Hall and Oats is not coming up. Yeah, Hallan Oates is not even, wow, that sucks. So that's not even, is ACDC? Spottel doesn't know Hollan Oates.

I think it has to be like. 70s, late 70s? But ACDC's what, four people and it's not, it can't be four members? They're Australian as well. And they're Australian as well. Are they? Kiss?

Will it tell us the right answer? Kiss, kiss. Will it tell us the right answer? No, Kiss is earlier than that. Oh, Kiss is four. Kiss is four. And it's 74, 1974. I'm having fun.

If we get this wrong, will it tell us the answer or do we not get to know the answer? I have no idea, I've never gotten it wrong. Okay, I typed in a few answers, people were shouting out. I have the answer. We are going to be very surprised. Wait, you have the answer?

I have a question. You got it? My mind is blown that this band debuted in 87. My mind is absolutely blown. I was gonna ask a question. Yes. The band Green Day, were they the 90s? Yeah. They were 90s. Yeah.

Oh, is it Nirvana? I think it came out in 94, 93. Was it Nirvana? It's not Nirvana. Oh, but we're close. Here's the thing. Do you know how many members it is? I don't. Let me see if it shows here. I thought it was three, okay, yeah. I'm shocked it's 87 when they debuted, Do you know how many members it is? I don't let me see if it shows

I'm shocked it's 87 when they debuted and I'm maybe even more shocked that REM they're like no they're alternative this band They are like, yeah, it's rock. I'm pretty surprised. This is like If you do y'all want a hint? Yeah, how do you know you you just you got it, right? You guessed it No, I was as people were shouting out stuff. I was putting it in. So I ran out of guesses. Oh, I told you. This is like top 40 radio, but I correlate this band very much with the 90s. Cemented in the 90s, but they, I guess, started in 87.

And I would bet $100 everyone in here in this room has heard at least one of their songs. Fuck! Smashing Pumpkin. No, but that, I think that's getting closer. Matchbox 20? That's the closest guess so far. What?

Matchbox 20 is the closest guess so far. Bare Naked Ladies? Oh. Probably somewhere between Matchbox and Bare Naked. Oh boy. But Bare Naked's Canadian. Canadian, they're Canadian, yeah. Counting Crows?

Counting Crows is maybe slightly warmer. Nine Inch Nails. And it can't be Imagine Dragons. Cold, cold, cold. Is it can't be Imagine Dragons. Is it Imagine Dragons? Say up. What if Imagine Dragons debuted in 87 but they didn't have a hit until like 2012?

I would buy that. I would buy that for sure. Guys, we do radioactive and then we fucking call it quits cause nothing's working. Little. First things first, I'm a guy and I like to brush my hair. And I go and I don't even know if I care. Uh oh.

I love this version. Yeah. Yeah, that's the lyrics. That's the lyrics. That's the lyrics. That's the lyrics. Erin, will you do a whole Simlish album? I would love to hear it.

I would love that. I would love for Erin to sing Simlish. Oh, I would also love that. Yeah, of course. Give me a song, I can do it. Let's do Toxic by Britney. Erin sings Simlish. Yeah, of course. Give me a song. I can do it. Let's do Toxic by Britney Spears and Simlish. Toxic by Britney Spears.

And just the words, not the guitar. I didn't hear and I know. I didn't hear and I know. I didn't hear and I know. I didn't hear and I know. I didn't hear and I know. I didn't hear and I know. I didn't hear and I know.

I didn't hear and I know. I didn't hear and I know. I didn't hear and I know. I didn't hear and I know. I didn't hear and I know. I didn't hear and I know. I didn't hear and I know. I didn't hear and I know.

I didn't hear and I know. I didn't hear and I know. I didn't hear and I know. I didn't hear and I know. I didn't hear and I know. I didn you, and I know I'm gonna admit that. I never did it, ah. I did hear, and I know. I never, ah. And then, ah, I took a minute, ah. I was talking to my buddy Johnny about this, but I think that as a musician, one of the coolest honors is to get to sing and record.

Because they do their own. Carly Rae Jepsen does her own Simlish, where she sings her song in Simlish. And I think that is a very cool thing to get asked to do. Oh, I mean, I wanna be a singer now. Katy Perry. Yep, Katy Perry did her own Simlish. Very fun, very fun stuff.

What a weird day, I bet. Okay, Counting Crows. Counting Crows and Matchbox 20, I think are the closest. Sim, you got a guess here? Sam's like, I actually like real music. I like bad music too. It's a band, we know that I guess.

The name is Three Words. Fastball sucks. Anyone can see the road that we're on. Talking heads. Three Doors Down. Third Eye Blind. Third Eye Blind. Third Eye Blind is by far the absolute closest.

What's the band that does Closing Time? Synthesonic. Synthesonic. The band is Three Words and two of the words far the absolute closest. What's the band that does closing time? Simeezonic. Simeezonic. The band is three words, and two of the words are the same word. And you might be surprised that it's like separated and not one word. Big Bad Voodoo Daddy.

Yeah, yeah, yes. Goo Goo Dolls. Yes, Goo Goo Dolls. Goo Goo Dolls. Goo Goo Dolls is 87? Wow. That's mind-blowing. That's so crazy.

Dizzy up the girl. One of their songs was like in my head. I was like, it's, but I couldn't figure out the name. Yeah. The one about his mom, 3AM. It's 3AM. I would have, honestly, if I heard that, I would have thought it was Matchbox 20. Me too.

I think that is Matchbox 20. Oh, is it? What's Goo Goo Dolls sing? What's Goo Goo Dolls? Oh, I wish you would step back from them. Nope. That's the Iris. Third Eye Blind.

Goo Goo Dolls sings Iris. How does that go? But don't ask me that. Because I know that Goo Goo Dolls sing it, but I don't know how it goes. It's guitar. Yeah. One headlight. Who sings One Headlight?

That's Jacob Dillon. So we don't know what Goo Goo Dolls sings. I'm figuring it out. They definitely sing Iris. Sam, save us. Sam's good. I'm googling. Yes.

Yeah. Fire in the dam. I give up forever. It's the Nick Cage movie. Oh. Yes. That's what the song is? Yeah. What is it called?

City of Angels? Not Michael, it's City of Angels? City of Angels, I think. Michael is John Travolta, right? Yes. Yes. Wow. Okay, so that is not.

Scooby-Doo, Scooby-Doo, Scooby-Doo. So to be clear, we don't do sponsored content of the show. We did. Okay, so that is not So to be clear we don't do sponsored content of the show Missy oh, it's basically If you see us driving around town in a spotty We did not we did not all get a yaris from spottle for doing this game. This is not sponsored content We just love the spottle Yaris. Hmm I I just you bringing up Missy Elliott singing simlish made me think is the simlish version of that song? Wow, she flips it in reverse. Is that in forward in English in English in the Sims?

That would be mind-blowing that would be incredible. It's your flippin' hippie plan yet, it's put my thing down, flip it and reverse it. Yeah. That would be, they would win an Emmy for that. I think. They, retroactively. They. They.

They would win an Emmy. EA games. Would win an Emmy. EA games wins an Emmy. The first Emmy for a game. Okay, so, Spottle is something relatively new. How about a little bit of something old? We are going to go to-

No, more Spottle please. Or we can play When Taken, my favorite internet game. We could wait seven hours for the next Spottle and everyone would like to do that. That was honestly very fun. I know, that was way more fun. I did like Spottle a lot. And we played Connections with Namdi when he was here.

I don't know what that is. New York Connections? Let's play another game. I will say I've had more fun doing that in connections than I have doing any riddle ever. Well, yeah, Erin, because that's because your job is eating a bunch of vegetables and someone's like, hey, how about a candy bar?

It's like, yeah, you're going to like the candy bar. Why can't we do candy bars all the time? Vegetables make us smart. We got to eat vegetables now. No, they don't. We have vegetables from Scotland. Don't you want some Scottish vegetables? Fine.

What's that, leeks? Yeah, I was gonna say. Ramps? Ramps, leeks. Let's get these riddles over with then. Okay, so these are from Gavin, and Gavin is coming to us from Scotland. And Gavin says that these are from a book from the 1920s.

Bush, I should have guessed Bush. Sorry. Yeah. Gavin Rostow? Yeah, Glycerin. Yeah, probably 87. Okay, so there are a few of these and I would say, sometimes these are riddles but they, well we'll just get into them.

You'll see how these go. There's four of them. Why are birds in spring like a banking establishment? Birds in spring from the 1920s to Why are birds in spring? That's fucking funny Last Friday they all dropped out of the sky. We're all ruined It's not so it's not crashing?

No, but you're on the right vein with word play. Looking for bread? Like, looking for bread. No, and I will say this. I would give each one of you a spottled Yaris if you could get the exact wording right, which you'll not be able to do. The wording on this, if you can get the exact wording right, which you'll not be able to do. The wording on this, if you can get the gist

of what the pun or the wordplay is, I'll give it to you. But like birds in spring, what do birds do in spring? They lay eggs. They lay eggs. No, but maybe, I don't know. They fly. Fly south? Yeah, but they do that all season.

Migrate. Fly north. Migrate. Fly north, did you say it? Migrate. It is not that, it is not flying north, it is not flying south. Malt?

What's that? Malt? Oh yeah, molten birds. I think you're thinking of a phoenix. Oh, do birds not molt? No, birds molt. That's like a... I hate that word.

It's hard to say. My mouth is like, don't say it. Malt? Yeah, it feels like a 1920s thing, go down to the phosphate store and get a bird malt. Malt? Eh, eh. Move over. This is a malt.

I want a malt. OK. No, what else do birds do? They fly. They lay eggs. They get worms. Sing. Sing.

OK, they sing. So singing is part of this. Why are birds in spring a banking establishment? Because they sing for the money now OK, we got singing. So let's move on for a second to banks like like a banking establishment. Savings, but in the 20s. What? Yeah. But so what is stocks? No, OK. Now it's nothing in relation to what a bank does.

But it's more to be like what a bank is called. Like, if I were to walk down to the local Chase, I just went to the local. Branch. Oh, sing on a branch? Yeah, I mean some, yeah. You wanna hear the answer? Yeah. Sure.

1920s. They offer promissory notes and rejoice when branches are flourishing. Promissory notes and rejoice when branches are flourishing. Promissory notes? How do we all feel about this? It's bad. I don't love it. Can you say it again?

Wirebirds in spring, like a banking establishment, they offer promissory notes and rejoice when branches are flourishing. Yeah. Yeah. Punch in the face. Yeah. But you can see how someone from the 1920s would probably get that like really fast, right? Like they're like, oh, yeah promissory notes branches are flourishing

promissory note How do we feel about Gavin go back to Scotland Gavin let me stay there We assume that you're in the country. I'd like to see a scene. Otherwise, how would you send an email? The three of you are three big bankers in the 1920s, probably like a couple hours before the crash. And you're just like sort of luxuriating and how great everything is.

Mm. Ha, a rump. A rump, indeed. Another cigar? No, yes, please. You know what? One for each hand. Oh, yes.

Mm, yes. double fisting. I'll say this, one for every two fingers. So I'll have five cigars. Samezies, let's all go around. Yeah, we'll kinda like hook the other one on our thumbs. Five cigars, this is the life. Boy, boy. Life is, I'm certainly glad that they are figuring out Ah, boy, boy. Oh, oh, oh. Oh, life is good.

I'm certainly glad that they are figuring out this whole World War I nonsense. Oh, yes. Yes, yes, yes, yes. Boy. So happy. You know, I was thinking, I'm glad that I'm not poor.

Oh, it's the same. Oh my, wow, banished the thought. I haven't even given a single thought to me. Oh, poor. Poor. Oh, it's the same. Oh my, wow, banish the thought. I haven't even given a single thought to me. Oh, poor. I was just thinking about it the other day. What would I do? Who would I be? What does a poor do?

How does a poor start their day? I'm assuming they wake up. Or do they go to bed? Somebody has to wake them up, right? Yeah, someone must wake them up. Who's the person that wakes you up when you're poor? God, what's poorer than a poor? Some sort of, maybe like a mouse or a rat? Yeah, it's gotta be a rat.

Tugging at their hair? Yeah, probably a rat tugs at their hair. They probably have a breakfast, but they don't have lavish breakfasts like us. They probably eat dirt or poo poo. Poo poo! Poo poo! Poo poo! And then they must toil. I mean, just because they're poor doesn't mean they can be lazy, so they have to have some sort of employment, I imagine. Yes. And they must have interesting names. I mean, for example, my name, of course, is Juniper Mackenzie, the fourth.

And I shudder to think what these people or their names might be like. Yes. Mark? Ugh! Ooh, Carl? Carl? Such normal names! I'll be a poor. Hello, everyone. My name is Ben.

I don't know how you did it, but... I hated that! Good afternoon, gentlemen. I think you should look you did it, but I hated that good afternoon gentlemen I think you should look at the cover of this the paper for a poor a poor We can ask someone speak slowly speak slowly very poor. How do you wake in the morn? I wake up with the Sun of course and then I have a child get my Children to school shot silence. How does a poor? reproduce a Poor a poor. How do you make you more poor?

The same way you do it. I don't think so. No, no, I masturbate into a handkerchief the stock market crash I masturbate into a handkerchief, mail it to a doctor. The stock market crashed. It's what? Seems. The stock market crashed. Okay, here's another one from the 1920s. From the 1920s.

I really wanted to in character be like, whoa, whoa, whoa, you what into a what? That's not universal, man. Not all rich people do that, the cool ones do. Why is the letter W like a scandal monger by the way scandal monger what does that mean like a cheese monger what do you mean you don't know I don't know I just hide deeply I know it's the same thing I'm assuming a scandal monger is like someone who is starting rumors right

like I'm a scandal monger like a fish mong Like, I'm a scandal monger. Like, a fish monger sells fish, so a scandal monger sells scandal. Perez Hilton. Oh my God, this says sandal monger. I feel so stupid. No, but yeah, I assume so. I think that that's a safe assumption

for the answer to the question. The letter W. Why is the letter W like a scandal monger? And again, this is from the 1920s, and I will say it's probably impossible to get this right. I'm about peaks and valleys. Ooh, I like that. Cause it's an M, it's an M upside down.

Cause they say M upside down and you did the neck movement for it as well. It's an M upside down. No, it's not that. I wanna be a scandal monger. I know. Watch this. Hey, Allison, did you know the. I want to be a scandal monger. I know. Watch this. Hey, Allison. Did you know that BBC likes to slap waiters if they get order wrong?

You know what I heard? What did you hear? BBC. Yes, I heard it. If I were the type of guy who liked to slap a waiter, Whoa, God, he's right there! when they get my order wrong, do you think I would go out of my way to like, Yes.

try to make sure they got the order wrong? Yeah, of course. Like I would like sneeze my order and they'd be like, can you repeat that? I'm like, what are you stupid? And then you slap them. And then I slap them. Oh, but that's not even getting my order wrong.

That's just giving me lip. That, a slap is a slap. A reason is a reason. Well, actually Erin, if you knew anything about perverts like me, Perverts. it actually, I actually need to get the order wrong or else I can't get what I need out of a slap. I don't understand your culture.

Okay, well thank you for admitting that. Thank you for admitting that finally. Adel, what do you think? I will say, this is a spelling, the solution is like a spelling answer. I'm hung up on what makes, what's the big difference between a lowercase W and a capital W. I guess that-

Points? They're all the- Oh, one looks like a butt, one looks like a graph upside down. Mm. I mean, that's, to me, to me that's the difference. All right, I guess we're all perverts. If I was in a locker room and someone said my butt

was like a graph upside down, I would never leave the house again. Well, here's the thing, I don't know, is that a compliment? Because what Because a graph is not a universal. My butt looks like a pie chart. I'm assuming it's a live graph. It's a circle? But also my butt looks like a pie chart, I feel like it's a compliment, right?

That's almost like a John Mayer song. If someone says that your butt looks like a Venn diagram, I'm like, that sucks. And your bubblegum, sure. That's like cheek cheek hole. I mean, I'm not going to lie. I'm not, that sucks. That's like cheek cheek hole, I believe. That's what you have.

Cheek cheek hole? Cheek cheek hole? Cheek cheek hole? Cheek cheek hole? Yeah, this is not, we're not fresh for this episode. That's how you slap waiters, right? Cheek cheek hole. Eww.

Around the corner. No, no. I imagine all hole. Cheek, cheek, hole. Ew. Round the corner. No, no. I imagine all face. Cheek, cheek, mouth. Hole, yeah. Wow, the mouth is just a hole. There was a point in time in my improv career that was my go-to move.

Cheek, cheek, hole? No, no, just a little tap on the mouth. That's hilarious. Wait, so give me an example of how you'd use it. Is this thing on? Is it too, how is it an improv move? Okay. No, it's not. Just use on? It's a tune. I was in an improv move. Okay. No, it's not.

Just use it. It's just me hitting someone gently. Hey boss, you wanted to talk to me? Yes, come here. You're closer? Okay. Yep. And.

Oh! Now get out of my face! I. And you guys didn't see it, but I slapped Aaron on the mouth ever so gently. It was so soft. It made a tiny little sound to you. I love that. I love a little slap on the mouth. If I was watching an improv show and giving notes, if I coached a team I'd go like you guys that was perfect. That's one of the opening scenes for a Harold show. That's that long. Yeah. I'm like that's great. That's all you need. Okay, do you want to hear the answer to this riddle? Yes, I don't think anyone is gonna get it again. It's it's tough. This is a tough one time Why is the letter W like a scandal monger? It makes ill will

What I don't understand that at all Oh, so so if you put if you put a W in front of ill it makes well I got a little will and someone who makes ill will is someone who would like be us. You scared the bugger air just took a picture of at all. I took a picture of when a riddle finally broke at all. I'm so sorry are you okay how's it going. Everybody. Everybody hurts. Gasty beady goo. Night swimming.

All right, well, while Adol recovers from his Aria meltdown, we will be back after a little break. This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. Hey, Aaron, JPC. Yes! I've been taking mime classes. Sort of like, you know, racing against the wind and like walking upstairs, walking downstairs. Is there a way to stop taking classes? I don't know how to get out of this. Adel, I think that there is a way to stop taking m? I don't know how to get out of this.

Adel, I think that there is a way to stop taking MIME classes, but I wouldn't be super concerned with that. I would be concerned with what made you wanna take MIME classes to begin with. That's what I was gonna say. I think you need therapy. Yes. Oh, yeah, interesting.

I agree. And if you're thinking of starting therapy, give BetterHelp a try. It's entirely online, designed to be convenient, flexible, and suited to your schedule. Just fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched with a licensed therapist, who can definitely dig into that MIME stuff with you,

and switch therapists any time for no additional charge. I use this therapy, and it works great for me, because I love being able to message my counselor when I'm actually feeling my feelings, because then it ends up being way more truthful than when I have to drive to an office a week later and tell them all about it. And as Adel, I also think that, you know, there's a famous phrase and it's a mime for help.

And basically what it is, is you doing mime when what you really want is like help with a problem in your life. So I think better help could be pretty perfect for you. Oh, that makes sense. Yeah, and it just feels like when your schedule is packed with kids' activities, big work projects, miming, being in a hot air balloon, it's easy to let your priorities slip.

And I should be making time for myself. Yes, that's what we're saying. Don't want to dig into why your schedule's packed with kids' activities. But Addle, never skip therapy day with BetterHelp. Just visit betterhelp.com slash Riddle today to get 10% off your first month. That's BetterHelp, H-E-L-P dot com slash Riddle.

Well, I get hired for a lot of birthday parties. Hey, Addle. Oh, yeah. How'd I do? Oh, well, you can't talk here, but the- Yes, they're saying how'd I do. But I mean, you're in a box. I believe you're in a box.

I believe it. I did it. No, no talking. Ruined it. Vroom, vroom. Whoa. I believe it. I did it! No, no talking. Ruined it. Vroom vroom! Whoa! I bet you guys are wondering how I can afford this new bike.

Erin, how'd you get that bike? Whoa Erin, how can you afford that new bike? Can she read our thoughts? Yeah, cause... I just saved a bunch of money using my favorite app, Rocket Money. Oh Rocket Money, the personal finance app that helps find and cancel your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps lower your bills so you can grow your savings and buy a bike?

That Rocket Money? Uh, the very same. Ding ding! You mean Kaching Kaching, because all the money you're saving. Nice. Because Rocket Money has over 5 million users and has saved a total of 500 million, Kaching Kaching Erin, 500 million, and canceled subscriptions saving members up to $740, or one bike, worth a year

when using all the app's features. Rocket Money's dashboard gives you a clear view of your expenses across all your accounts, so you can easily create a personalized budget with custom categories to help keep your spending on track. I love it also when I'm doing my taxes because everything automates and I know exactly how to track all my expenses.

Erin, I'm looking at some of your custom categories. You have bike, which makes sense, and you have some money in that, but then you have B-K-I-E, and then you put money in that one. I think you'd maybe just like misspelled bike at one point and you're also funding that. We can, okay, two bikes.

Woo! So stop wasting money on, Erin, And you're also funding that we Okay, do my So stop wasting money on Aaron So stop wasting money on things you don't use cancel your unwanted subscriptions by going to rocket money comm slash rental That's rocket error. That's rocket money comm slash rental rocket money comm slash rebel Yeah, oh Aaron just won the Tour de France She's riding on two bikes Woo! Woo! Woo woo woo! Aaron? Yeah? Oh, Aaron just won the Tour de France. Woo! I won the Tour de France! Yeah, because she's riding on two bikes. Woo! Um, AddleJPC, very cool.

Come look at how I have been managing my money. Ooh. I have this piggy bank and I sort of put my money in here. Aaron, this thing has a huge crack on the bottom. You've been putting money in here? It does. Yeah, it's because I... Doesn't matter.

Aaron, if you're anything like me, and it sounds like you're not, you didn't start your business to spend the bulk of your time managing your finances. But between budgeting, tracking expenses, and staying organized for tax time, there goes a good chunk of your day. Get back to doing what you love, Aaron,

and let found do the rest. Oh, thank God, because this is not safe to have my money sort of in a loose piggy bank that I keep outside. Yeah, also Erin, it's this property of Lucy Goosey on the bottom. Is this, did you steal a fairy tale girl's piggy bank? I mean, yeah, now I'm putting, I'm using it for the Hey Riddle Riddle business account. Oh, Erin. no, no, no, no, no, you want to use found. Now found is business banking designed for small business owners just like you Erin. It's designed for small business owners, solo entrepreneurs,

and it is, in my opinion, the only financial tool you need. So say goodbye to switching between multiple finance apps and tools. Yeah, Erin found is an all in one easy to use app, not a pig. Found lets you manage your financial tasks effortlessly, manage your money, track your spending, invoice your clients, me and JPC, and even handle your taxes. So you can focus on running your business

or whatever, Aaron, whatever you do in your spare time. I don't really know. Yeah, Aaron, what does your new business ideas? What's your new business idea? Piggy banks. Keep them loose outside. What else? I mean, I've reviewed this piggy bank

and I gave it one negative review. Do you think Found has any positive reviews? Erin, Found has some 30,000 positive customer reviews. And you can see why over 500,000 small business owners like you chose Found. Kind of blew up in your face, huh? Erin, yeah, yeah You can automatically set money aside for different business goals and control spending with multiple virtual cards You can save time by automatically tracking and categorizing expenses to maximize

Tax write-offs all without leaving the found app and you can instantly send professional invoices and pay your contractors for free Instantly send professional invoices and pay your contractors for free. Aaron, you dumb dumb, get your business banking working for you. Try Found for free at found.com slash riddle. Get Found for free at found.com slash riddle. Sign up for Found for free today at f-o-u-n-d dot com slash riddle. Aaron, I'm sorry for calling you a dumb dumb. You called me a dumb dumb? Found is a financial technology company, not a bank.

Banking services are provided by Pyrmont Bank, member FDIC. Foun's core features are free. They also offer an optional paid product, Foun Plus. Well, I went to a fugue state. What did I say? Addle called me a dumb dumb? I'm so sorry. This podcast is sponsored by Squarespace.

All right, students. Today we're going to learn about geometry, shapes and such. Oh, fun! Can't we just watch Troy? Can't we just watch a DVD of Troy? Well, we've done that the last few weeks, but today we're going to learn about squares. What do we know about squares? Ummm, they're boring. They are, have four sides. I don't know if this is off topic, but I know that Squarespace is the all-in-one website

platform for entrepreneurs to stand out and succeed online, whether they're just starting out or managing a growing brand. Squarespace makes it easy to create a beautiful website, engage with your audience, and sell anything from products to content to time all in one place all on your terms. Is that Squarespace? I mean, yeah, you nailed it. I mean, you can sell exclusive content on your terms. Is that Squares? I mean, yeah, you nailed it. I mean, you can sell exclusive content on your site by adding a paywall to sell memberships

or courses, or sell files your customers can download, like PDFs, music, or ebooks. I mean, yeah, obviously. You all have been studying. Wow. But doesn't Squarespace make checkout seamless for your customers with simple but powerful payment tools? They accept credit cards, PayPal, and Apple Pay in eligible countries, offer customers the option to buy now and pay later with after pay and clear pay. That's Squarespace, right? Yeah, definitely.

I mean, a hundred points to you. Oh, Aaron, yes. Call me, call me. Yes, you can also upload video content, organize your video library, and showcase your content on beautiful video pages. You can even sell access to your video library by adding a paywall to your content. Wow, A plus to both of you. I didn't think we'd get into this until like week four. I guess we can just watch Troy. Uh, yeah, I guess we'll be watching Troy then.

Like I said, at the start of class. It's a win, JPC. Well, before I press play, don't forget, head to squarespace.com for a free trial and when you're ready to launch, go to squarespace.com slash riddle to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Squarespace, never let your

geometry teacher disrespect you by not letting you watch a DVD of Troy. Huh. And play? I'm Brad Pitt and I am Ajax or something. And I'm Brad Pitt too. Sorry, I couldn't afford Troy, so I just made a home video.

This is better. This is better. Let it play. We are dumb, I think. Yeah, it's pretty dumb. I'm so sorry, it's hitting me now. Not smart, not smart guys. RIDDLE RIDDLE

Okay, you guys ready for more of Gavin's? I almost said Scottish riddles, but they're not. I just think that Gavin's from Scotland. These are just, these are normal riddles. I feel like Scottish people are inherently... Riddle-ish? Riddle-ish. Yeah.

Yeah. Riddle-ish? The riddled Scots, as they would say. Yeah, they're like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, Shreks. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. It's like whiskey and bourbon. Not all whiskey is bourbon. Not all Scots are Shreks. Yeah. Not all Scots are Shreks.

If they're not from the Shrek region of Scotland, then it's actually, it's just actually sparkly ogre. Addle yesterday threatened. Swampoly ogre. So I wanted to get Addle to agree to wear whatever I wanted him to wear for the Boston live show that we're doing this fall. Fun. And in exchange, I've agreed to wear whatever he wants me to wear for the Washington DC live show.

But then he said Shrek. He's gonna buy me a Shrek costume. And now I feel real fear. Make you a Shrek costume. Make it! That's so much worse! That's awesome! That's so cursed. I bought the fruit roll-ups necessary. No, Adil, what if I get struck by lightning and I get stuck in it? What? That's so much worse! That's awesome! That's so cursed. I bought the fruit roll-ups necessary.

No, Adel, what if I get struck by lightning and I get stuck in it? What? That's your first concern. Yeah, what if I get electrocuted and then I'm struck forever? Wow. Who would love me then?

What did Princess Fiona do? She lived. Yeah, whatever. She lived! Whatever. The ultimate goal. And she matched his energy. To live.

I do love that you're struck by lightning and you're on a gurney and like you're shaking and there's like an exit wound from your foot that's all charred and you grab a medic and you're like, am I stuck in this outfit? And they're like, ma'am, you have minutes to live. I don't care. Am I stuck in this outfit?

Take it off. Take it off. Erin, I hope you never shrieked by lightning. But let's listen to some Reynolds. Why should not the number 288 be mentioned? 288. Yes. Why should not the number 288 be mentioned? Because it's 12 less than 300. Aaron, you're so... well, no, you're not close, but.

Why should not. The number 288 be mentioned. Now, remember this is from the 1920s, and it has to do, I would say, with archaic forms of measurement. Mm. I don't know if that is gonna help anybody. Berlongs and.

Okay, so yeah, we're on the world are gross riddles These are yuck. Yeah, these Aaron That's it. That's gross gross measurement Aaron Why should why should the number 288 not be mentioned because it's gross because it's gross because it's 144 is a gross too gross would be 288 Aaron Aaron you got it Gross, too gross would be 288. Erin. Erin, you got it. I can't believe that happened.

This is like Erin being a janitor at Harvard and being like, let me just, I'm doing a doodle and someone's like, mathematicians have been trying to solve this for years. Speechless. It's never happened before. That was awesome. I can't breathe.

Erin, so what you, can I ask you a question? In your body, you felt that this riddle was gross. Gross was the answer. So what part of you in your body knew the answer? Cause something was like. My arms. She doesn't have it. She doesn't have it.

She's not the Dalai Lama. No way, like it felt like. This child is not the king. Sorry, I thought this kid was the Dalai Lama. It's not him. It's like remembering someone that you slept with when you were 24 and you're like, ugh. Yeah, see, right?

Like it's that visceral like, ew, what did I do? What did I do? Okay. Like, ugh. Someone you slept with when you were 24 or when you were telling people you were 24? Yeah. Okay, cool.

What, wait, what? What? What are you talking about, weirdo? What was that attitude? I don't understand your culture. Telling people you're 24? Yeah, I can be 24, anybody can be 24. Hey, if Kiefer Sutherland 24? Yeah, I could be 24. Anybody could be 24. Hey, if Kiefer Sutherland could be 24, anybody could be 24.

How do we feel about that? Is that a 24 point? Oh my god. You don't have to stay. I appreciate you giving this a shot. Thank you for having me. Thank you. Thank you.

I'm going to bounce. And we're so sorry. I'm going to bounce. We like you a lot. We're sorry. I can't believe that happened. A miracle like that has never happened on a show like this. That was like lightning striking.

I was so psyched when you said gross. In a Shrek costume. In a Shrek costume. It was like being Shreked by lightning. Shreked by lightning, have you been saying Shreked by lightning this whole time? Yeah, well I'm saying what everybody's saying, Shreked by lightning.

What are you talking about? I have a question about gross in 144. Why did we have to measure things in 144? That's a great question. Does anyone know? I don't know where the measurement gross came from. Old timey Costco's. Old timey bulk.

Old timey Costco's. I'd like to see a scene. Old timey Costco's. Addle, you work at old timey Costco and Allison, you're in there shopping. Welcome in through the saloon doors, of course. Take a gander. Thank you. I was wondering, do you have any, um...

What's it, those big, big old bales? Uh, oh yes, uh, hay. Hay. Yes, hay is for horses, of course. Uh, we should look for... Oh, wait! That was good! Hay is for horses, of course. Hay is for... Hay is for horses, and horsin' of course rhyme. I'm gonna be, of course. Hey, it is for... It is for horses, and horse and of course rhyme.

I'm going to be telling people that. Please! I'm going to be telling people that I came in here. Please, and tell them that Mark of my trade, here at the Costco, created it. I will. It's a Mark... A trademark? A trademark!

Oh my... What is happening? Are you God? God? God? Zip! You found me! It's me! Old timey God!

Oh my! You! You get three wishes. Excuse me, do you have this in cubits? No! Fuck off! Fuck off! I tried to-

Fuck off! I'm with God! Yeah, honestly, fuck off! Snap! To hell with you! Snap! To hell with you! I like that! I keep that in my head. To, fuck off! Uh, snap! To hell with you! Snap!

Whoa! Oh! To hell with you, I like that! I keep that in my mind. To hell? To hell with you. Wait, so you're- Oh my-

Oh my you, I'm- I can't- Oh, three wishes. Okay. Hmm. My first wish. Eh? Excuse me, there's no one at the checkout.

I'm not sure if- Uh, to hell with you! Wha- Oh! Oh! Heh. What is with today and these people? They keep coming and I would like a membership to here. I never thought about a membership because people come in, they buy stuff and they sometimes leave without buying. But if I could charge just for the chance to possibly buy something, you're brilliant. What's your name? My name? Yes, I should know this. Me search my... brilliant, what's your name? My name?

Yes, I should know this. Me search my, no it's not coming. Gentrude. Gentrude. And was that a, I hate to ask this, was that like a misspelling on the certificate or like a? Yes, my mother was very ill the moments after I was born. Very ill.

Oh, it became an N, Gertrude becomes a Gentrude. Exactly, well yes, it was Jennifer and then Gertrude becomes a Gentrude. Exactly. Well, yes, it was Jennifer and then Gertrude. Anyways. Gentrude. Gentrude. Gentrude. I just want the exclusivity. Yes. Well, let me snap my fingers and here's the very first. Ah, what the fuck? Oh, I forgot that to snap means to send someone to hell. Sorry. Hey, God, can I ask you something? Oh, Lucifer. You gotta stop sending me these Costco shoppers. I don't need any more of these down here to hell, okay?

Well, why don't you, the love of Sam, why don't you start your own club? A club for people like me? Yeah, what in the Sam hell are you doing up here? You should have your own club downstairs. And I'll call it hell club So a gross is a dozen dozen And it's from the French word large dozen, so I think it was a French word

large dozen so I think it was the French word gross seen that movie cheaper by the gross super brother that movie It's a Baker's gross. It was Steve Martin and a hundred and forty five kids the exposition Six hours just to meet all the kids just to get the kids name that house was a fucking mess everyone's starving smeared on the walls But you know Hillary Duff was in it and I like that. Yeah she was in that and I like that as well. Okay, here we go. One more riddle from Gavin in Scotland. Why is a lazy dog like a hill?

This is this is a pun. Why is a lazy dog like a hill? A lazy dog like a hill. Something about bark? No. Something about holes. If you get the dog pun, I'll tell you that you're right on and then you own a hill pud canine This is giving me please pause

Wait no Have to give your answer in the form of a pud this is very interesting start to a tail a tail. Oh yeah! Oh yeah! Entourage! Oh yeah! This is entourage! We're the four people from Entourage! I'm turtle, you're turtle, you're turtle, and you're turtle! It's all turtles! Entourage, four turtles, it's all making puns. We all dress like turtles. There's no sex happening at all. Can you guys just tell I did a line of cocaine ten seconds ago? Oh my God. It's all oversized t-shirts and backwards hats. Tell us the one on our drives that always did the puns,

right? Yeah. Turtle rule. Oops, all turtles. A fur. Why is a lazy dog like a hill? So a lazy dog would lay by a fireplace, perhaps. It would chase itself in its dreams or something.

No, okay. These are not. I haven't heard any of the key words that you're gonna need for this pun yet. Let's help you out here. Why is it lazy dog with a growl? Let's talk about another word for dog, huh? Bitch.

Pup. Pup. Puppy? We got pup, pup, pup, specifically pup. Now what's another word for lazy maybe? Tired. Tired. Sleepy.

Exhausted. Lethargic. Apathetic. It's not necessarily like a- Ap-pup-thetic? It's not necessarily like a synonym, but like if someone is lazy, you could also say that they're like-

Unmotivated? No. Reloader. It's a simple word, it's an adjective. Yeah. Beautiful. Like you're like're like I would say like a sloth isn't maybe necessarily lazy but they're slow slope up Slope up. It's a slope up. Why is a lazy dog like a hill the slope because he is a slope up Thank you slope up. I'd like to say thank you. Um, uh, Adeline JPC, you're having a picnic and you're bringing your family dog, uh, Allison,

who's like 18 years old, who really wants to still be involved. And Allison, you're just trying to prove that you're like, you're, you're, you're going to be alive a couple more years. Yeah. You're not going anywhere. Hey, hey folks. Yeah. Allison getting into the character.

Pre-seed. And go. And go. Okay, just make sure when we're taking all the picnic stuff out that Cheddar doesn't get anything. Cheddar. Cheddar. Good boy. Yeah, Cheddar. Good boy. You know your name. Yeah, I know I'm Cheddar. Good. Good. Yeah. And today you're doing well and today you know you're Cheddar.

But just make sure Cheddar doesn't get any of the people food because it could be very bad for his digest. Well, no people food, but you know Cheddar, since you know, they're older, likes their beer. Should I give them four more beers? Four more beers. Four more beers. Give me, you know, look folks. Look folks.

Cheddar, you'll do folks. Folks, folks, folks, folks. Sure. I got another eight to ten years in me. No, Cheddar. You'd be the oldest dog in the world, Cheddar. You would be the oldest. I can be the oldest dog in the world.

Hold on. Look, look, look. There's tape on the end of this tail. Cheddar, have you been taping your tail on? Oh, folks, I can beat that other dog. I can chase that dog down. Cheddar, there's no other dog. There's another dog.

No. Have you seen the other dog? Cheddar, we would never replace you with another dog. It's you, Cheddar. You're our dog, and we love that. That's right. I've been a dog. I've been in this family for 54 years.

Not the math on that, Cheddar. That's a good folksy spin on it, but I don't know if that's true. Folks. Folks, just give me human food. Okay. Give me people food. Oh, okay. Cheddar.

It would do so... It would wreak havoc on your digestive... No. You have no teeth left. Hey sweetie, think of this as like a final meal. What do you want for your final meal? I want that other dog on a plate I Want that other dog?

Still be kind of he knows what's going on Because a lot of generous like problems begin when he started eating other dog I think it might be like a cannibalism eating other dog I think it might be like a cannibalism we have that dog in the wings of the waiting should we focus on our vice not the vice dogs time yet it's not the voice dogs died look I love the vice dog I want to pick the vice dog if I didn't believe in the vice dog and folks Cheddar do you even know the vice-docs name Donald Trump? When Biden is long Biden Trump will both be long dead by the time this comes out Three minutes ago. Do I want to do a walk-on as a Trump?

Just the comedian struggle. I'm like, am I going to be a Trump dog right now? What kind of dog do you think a Trump dog would be? A little Shih Tzu with a toupee? It's huge. My dog body is huge. My dog body is the best dog body anybody's ever seen. Can you be your Kamala Harris dog? My Kamala. Yeah, you're famous for your Kamala Harris I want us to be unburdened

That's fucking incredible You're like you are maybe the best in the world at that impression. Thank you so much. I actually did that impression first at I.O. You did? Oh really? For an SNL showcase in like 2019. Wow.

It's incredible. It's so good. Thanks so much. You, your TikTok of parodying her on the Drew Barrymore show. I watched it like 6,000 times. It's so funny. And not to be a total narcissist,

but I have also watched it so many times. My friend Chrissy is as Drew Barrymore, kills me every time. And that went viral viral, didn't it? Yeah. How many views? 5 million. Ooh.

Bingo, bango, ha ta ta. Ha ta ta. You know what I'd love to have? What? $5 million. Nice, yeah, that would be nice if that translated. Are you in the creator fund? Whatta ta! Whatta ta! You know what I'd love to have? What? Five million dollars. Nice, yeah that would be nice if that translated. Are you in the creator fund?

It didn't make me five million dollars. Anybody else like to have five million dollars? That to me would be pretty sweet. That'd be pretty sweet. Yeah, you could get one little house here. A little cottage. Not even a tiny home, yeah. It'd be a very tiny home here.

Alright, we gotta move on. We have to move on because... Come on! Oh, yeah. It'd be a very tiny home here. All right, we gotta move on. We have to move on because. Come on. Oh yeah, I guess we don't. No, I want to move on. Oh, okay good. Is that an iPad? What's that?

Is that an iPad? This is an iPad. That's the largest iPad I've ever seen. That's way too big. I didn't know they came in that size. That's the biggest phone I've ever seen. No, Joe, that's not Joe. Go back to bed, Joe.

Look folks, folks, that phone is huge. No, no, Joe That phone is huge no no This is my wife's iPad and she deserves it. Oh, yeah, I'm gonna argue with that. Yeah, nice to have a wife shut up Okay, whatever he's a baby too It's technically my wife's baby, but I am allowed to hang out technically Okay, and we but we went to a thrift store before this recording and we were just kind of like Browsing around and I was like off walking

And some person asked my wife the question that I I think she despises hearing which is is that your baby? Which is just like shut the fuck up like don't don't be asking people is that your baby? Which is just like, shut the fuck up. Like, don't be asking people, is that your baby? And my wife was like, yeah. No, I kidnapped her. What? Yeah, I don't know. And my wife was like, yeah, this is my baby. And they're like, well, the baby is very adorable.

And my wife was like, well, thank you. It's nice of you. And they were like, are you buying anything here? And she was like, no, we're just kind of browsing. And she's like, well, I have store credit if you'd like to trade me for cash. And I was like, "'No, we're just kinda browsing.'" And she's like, "'Well, I have store credit if you'd like "'to trade me for cash.'" And I was like, "'What the hell?'

"'What an interesting route into this conversation.'" I do love that the mentality is like, I gotta unload these credits. Let me find a polite entree into a conversation. Is that your baby? What's an easy way to just ease myself into this conversation? Is this thing yours? Is that one for you?

This baby doesn't look like the same race as you. Is that something we're going to discuss? I'm never seeing your baby, but I knew exactly what was happening. So funny. Okay, here we go. This is a riddle from Jeff. My tattoo's name is Jeff. Oh, okay.

Excuse me, what? Did I hear that correctly? Yeah. Okay. Oh! Excuse me, what? Did I hear that correctly? Yeah! Okay! Well, how do you know? What? I heard I'm taking a drain to McBeth.

Did you say my tattoo's name is Jeff? Yeah. Okay, cool. But I could be taking a drain to McBeth! Is that a cat tattoo? Yeah! Is it based on a real cat? Nope, it was a flash tattoo and I said, give me that, put it there.

Wow, so you just named it Jeff. Yeah, that's my dad's name. Or did it tell you it's named Jeff? It told me it's name is Jeff. I'm hallucinating. That's my dad's name and he's half cat. Glass, that's the glass. I'm half cat on my dad's side.

My dad's a big cat. Is this one yours? That looks like a human baby. I'm half cat, so my cat with my baby would be a quarter cat hi you like to buy stuff at the store I'm really feeling the eight episodes into nine episodes I'm glad I came in at this point oh yeah this is where you're meant to sweet spot episode one snooze two snooze post glass activity I would want to do yeah yeah this is all just a hallucination. You're like the OR right now. You're a coma.

Alison, you were in a deep coma. A glass coma. OK. Two trains both enter a one-way tunnel. Joe Biden will love this. Joe Biden will love this. Two trains, my favorite rapper. I love that two trains.

Two trains, one of my favorite rappers. He's great. I like chameleon air. Two trains both enter a one-way tunnel at different ends exactly at nine o'clock. Oh Joe Biden would hate that Having to draw a clock. Oh, yeah. Oh boy But they both come out the other end Unharmed five minutes later. How is this possible? There's two different days two different tunnels different day same day It's this same tunnel two trains both enter a one-way tunnel

at different ends at exactly nine o'clock, but they both come out the other end unharmed five minutes later. How is this possible? One is a toy train. Oh, that's so, I love that answer. Oh. But no, it's not that.

Because one train is on Earth 222. Oh my God. And the other train is on Earth B99. This is a spider verse. Miles Morales. This is a spider verse. They're stacked on top of, it's a high one and a low one. Double decker train like in Britain.

Yeah, but like two different levels. Of the tunnel? You know the L in Chicago, it's elevated? Chicago doesn't have an L in it, sweetie. Hey-ya! Aw, nice! You know, it's unfortunate because we've been resisting converting this to a video podcast But if you keep doing stuff like that

Power Ranger move it was like Before did you like it out? It was effective. You're like one of the three ninjas I can see Aaron taking on one go take one joke last for like eight weeks and then do like the student showcase okay okay okay okay I love that was involuntary that just came from your body yeah that came from my arms everything's coming from my arms today It is not an elevated train and does not, they're not like stacked on top of tracks or anything like that. It's the same, it's the same track.

Ghost train. Okay, so one train is a ghost. God damn, you're good at these. Fuck! No, it's not a ghost train. Two trains, both of them are a one-way tunnel at different ends exactly at nine o'clock, but they both come out the other end unharmed

five minutes later. Wait a minute. How is this possible? Oh, I guess I was gonna say something. One way mucks this up, but isn't there a system where it's like one train can pause while the tracks switch? Yeah, yeah, but this is all one track. There's no track switches. Oh, I got it.

Yes, Aaron. One comes this way, one comes this way. They hook them together and then they go out that way. Cause you know how you can hook trains together? Especially toy trains. Especially toy trains. And then go whoop, whoop, one goes whoop, and then they go whoop.

But Erin, they both come out the other end. They both come out the opposite end as the one that they entered. Okay, then they fucking. Yeah, and they fucking, and that's the riddle. Your iPad has the worst stuff on it. This is Mariah's iPad. Yeah, whatever. It's and that's the riddle. Fuck in. Your iPad has the worst stuff on it. This is Mariah's iPad. Yeah, whatever.

It's got really good stuff on it. Yeah, whatever. That phone is crazy. Yeah, dude, she got great stuff. Go back to bed, Joe. How'd you get up? Paramount Plus, iMovie, HBO Max. That can't be the app anymore.

That's maybe out of date a little bit. This thing's got YouTube TV, and you're telling my wife you got a bad iPad. Come on. What do you think, Allison? You're smart. Not that smart. You're really smart.

Okay. I think you're pretty exceptionally smart. Uh-oh. Thank you. I just deleted my iPad. Uh-oh. Deleted my iPad? And funny too. Thank you so much.

Well, goodbye, pad. And kind. Wow, thank you. You know, Erin, the one that you should be complimenting is me because I got the answer and Alison, don't. Interesting. Addle, what do you think happened with the train? I'm scared of this. Sorry, I knocked Addle down with that high middle finger.

One of the trains is the band. Oh my god. These are all great. They get hit by a train. Ladies and gentlemen, Joe Biden's. And now, Alison Rees presents, Joe Biden singing, Drops of Jupiter. Now she's back in the atmosphere.

Get to the part where he says, My best friend eats fried chicken. My best friend eats fried chicken. The key to doing a good Joe Biden right now is just doing a Jennifer Coolidge who's tired and old. Wow. Wow, hot tip. Folks, I want a hot dog real bad.

I'm taking the dog, dumbass. Folks, the gays are trying to kill me. The gays. There is a train lyric that sounds like a Joe Biden speech, which is um folks Most pack a day wait wait. That's me but anyway Okay, and snap here's your head

It's just all legally bought yeah Okay, so this happens in the same day, okay. At nine, it's exactly nine o'clock. What was that? Is that from your arms? Whoa! Hmm. The trains don't collide. The good news is if we get this,

we probably don't have to do it anymore. I will say. I could make you do another one. No! And the next one is a math riddle. No! I would like to do the math riddle. Wow!

Elton wants to do the math riddle. Skip this one, let's go to the math one. We'll comedle. No, I would like to do the math riddle Let's go to the math one. We'll come back to this we got time Well, I think I had OCD as a kid and I think that helps me with math or yeah, let's do it Alright, fuckin we'll skip this I will come back to it if we have time We're gonna do a math riddle because Alison actually wants to which is insane. I truly have never met anyone in my life who's like More more math like more servings of math please. One math riddle. I like patterns. So here's your math riddle, this is from James from Little Rock. James from Little Rock sent this math riddle. If 2 to the first power is 3 and 2 to the second power is 4 and 2 to the third power is 5 and 2 to the fourth power is 7, what is 2 to the fifth power is five, and two to the fourth power is seven.

What is two to the fifth power? Say it again? Two to the first power is three. Two to the second power is four. Two to the third power is five. Okay, I know this. Two to the fourth is seven. Two to the fifth is...

Oof, two to the fourth is seven is... Because I was like, you're going to just add whatever the power is to the two. But two to the four is seven is adding another. Yeah, it's not that. It's not just adding that. Okay, two to the fourth power. One, so first power three, second power four, third power five, fourth power seven, two to the fifth power. Is the order in which you're saying these important?

You do need math. But the order, is the order important? No, saying these important? You do need math But the order is the order important no because it's it's this is a math hurdle the answer is like will involve doing math Allison you're on your own okay wait wait wait Hmm to the first powers three to the second powers for two to the third power is five is five Two to the third power is five. Is five. And two to the fourth power... seven. It's gonna help you to know what these like numbers are. So like two to the first power... Is three.

Prime number. But two to the first power is... The answer to that is two, right? Two to the first power is two. Yeah. Two to the second power is four. Two to the second power also is four in the riddle, but two to the second power is four. Look, I'm reading a comic book with how often JPC's saying four. Two to the second power also is four in the riddle, but two to the second power is four. I feel like I'm reading a comic book with how often

JPC's saying power. Two to the third power is eight. The answer to that one is five. Two to the fourth power is 16, but the answer to that one is seven. What is two to the fifth power? Did you like minus a certain amount every time? Yeah. You don't minus anything. You add? You don't need to minus anything. Do you add? That's a good question.

Yeah. Do you need to add? Technically you need to add, but I don't think you need to add what you think you need to add. And sorry, are these electric trains? Oh God, I wish train did electric, but when they do acoustic, it's even fucking better.

It's even fucking better. What's the answer I'm trying to figure out 2 to the fifth power 2 to the fifth power And we all wanted to do this 10 Aaron it's not 10 but 10 plus it's 9. It's 9. Wow. So the answer is 9 Aaron But do you know why the answer is 9 Aaron? So the answer is nine Aaron, but do you know why the answer is nine Aaron?

Here use my mic don't worry Erin here get on my mic my mic Yes, what the hell So it's not me that's doing it, the mic is doing it. We can all agree. It's these cans. Do you wanna hear the answer to this one? Wait, I thought Erin got the answer. It's nine.

But she doesn't know why she got the answer. Oh, show the work, I see. Yeah. Okay, because two to the first power is two, which is three letters. Two to the fourth power is four, which is four letters. Two to the third power is eight, which is five letters. Two to the third power is eight, which is five letters. And then we get to two to the fifth power is 32,

which has nine. I'm gonna call myself out on something real quick. As you were doing that, I went, as if that made sense, it doesn't make sense. I still don't understand it. And then the train, answer to the train riddle is? Okay, I'll say exactly nine o'clock is the pivotal thing in this riddle.

Does it matter if it's AM or PM? Adela, it does matter. One is AM and one is PM. One is AM and one is PM. Shut up, it doesn't matter, nothing matters. Allison, thank you so much for coming on the show. Don't think about what just happened, just focus on the future.

Okay. Don't think about what just happened. So, do you future. Okay. Don't think about what just happened. So, do you have anything to plug? Anything you want us to check out? I do. I actually have a podcast called Mkay. It's like okay, but with an N, and it's like a late night comedy podcast

hosted by Kamala Harris. Yes, please. And yeah, that's the first Tuesday of every month we release a new podcast leading up to the election. Incredible. And to search it, would it be N apostrophe okay? N apostrophe K-A-Y. Okay, gotcha.

N-K. And we will link your social media in our bio, but do you wanna shout out that? Oh yeah, my handle is at alienries, which some people think I just misspelled Eileen and will call me Eileen, which is bad. You are responsible for making me laugh the hardest I did in quarantine

with a video that you posted on your Instagram, which started with, what up Muppets sluts? Oh my God. It was maybe the hardest I've ever laughed in my entire life. That is an incredible combination of two words. I was maybe the hardest I've ever laughed in my entire life. That is an incredible combination of two words. I was out of my mind screaming laughing. I was also drenched in sweat in that video.

It was so funny. I went through a phase of being like, did I just do a HIIT workout? I should record something. What up, Muppet Sluts? What up, Muppet Sluts? Y'all want a new COVID vaccine? I just got it.

Let me spit in your mouth. I think that was the video. Right? Yeah. I mean, I was like, I have the will to live a little longer. Check out our Patreon, patreon.com slash Hey Riddle Riddle for some bonus content. Go and enjoy a week free with us.

It's a blast. Yeah, enjoy a week free at any hotel in the Pacific Northwest. Just leave, just run out when you're done staying there. Just do not pay. And then go to heyridderiddle.com slash live next, a couple months from now, very soon, we have our East Coast tour. Hopefully there's some tickets left, sorry if there's not.

But check that out if you wanna come hang out with us in person. Addle, do you have anything? Yes, I'm trying to very quickly fire this. Okay, here's what I wanna promote, is I want to promote the 1987 album. Boy oh boy. Dizzy Up The Girl?

What is it called? Dizzy Up The Girl? It can't be Dizzy Up The Girl. Alright, Goo Goo Dolls? 1986 it says. Oh. 1986 Goo Goo Dolls, self-titled. 1988, Jed, J-E-D.

Now I'm going to assume for our review crew soon, we will list some Gugudolls as an option. Gugudolls albums. So look forward to that, maybe get an early listen in. JBC, anything to plug or promote? Yeah, I'd like to promote giving your wife her iPad back fully charged. Just go ahead and charge it after you use it,

and that way there won't be a problem when you give it back, because then she can use it, and it's not 0% battery because you left it on your backpack. When you give it to her, will you be like, is this yours? Oh, and there's some rentals on there if you actually want to have like a fun afternoon if you care about like having a...

1920s rentals. Hey, hun. I'm actually going to wheel out President Biden here and we'll just President Biden at the end of Looney Tunes usually porky pig bust through some sort of facade and says, do you want to give us a little? That's all folks. Jupiter goodbye.

But a D but a D. Which sounds like him trying to be like, what it is. It almost went into an Obama. I'll be real. But a D! But a D! But a D! That's all folks!

Now we're in Paris in the music. Emily Cardamus and Emily Nemours Rhythm Rhythm 1, 2, 3, 4 Hey Rhythm Rhythm Hey there, Coffees and Shreks! If you liked that, you're going to love this week's Patreon. We have two brand new brackets for you. You can listen to that plus our entire back catalog at patreon.com slash heyrhythmrhythm by joining the Clue crew for $5 a month or start your 7 day free trial with the Review crew for $8 a month, plus you get those ad-free episodes. See you there!