Hey Riddle Riddle - #323: Sexy Reading w/ Ryan Rosenberg

Episode Date: September 25, 2024

We are heartbroken! Our LA episodes are coming to a close! Thank goodness with get to hang out with the very charming Ryan Rosenberg. This episode has some bones in the woods, a terrible detective, and a really interesting muppet movie. Starring:Adal RifaiJohn Patrick CoanErin KeifGuest Starring:Ryan RosenbergEditing by: Casey ToneyTheme by: Arne ParrottLogo by: Emily Kardamis & Emmaline MorrisWant more? Get Weekly Bonus Eps on Patreon!JPC's Guided Meditations Volume 1, available now at our Patreon digital store!Want merch? Visit our TeePublic Store! or pins, buttons & printsWant to mail us something? Hey Riddle Riddle 6351 W Montrose Ave #267Chicago, IL, 60634Want to leave us a voicemail? Call (805) RIDDLE-1 or (805-743-3531)Want to advertise on the show? Check out Hey Riddle Riddle via Gumball.fmSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Podcast. Hey, I'm Jake Johnson, host of the podcast. We're here to help. But this episode right now that you are listening to is sponsored by Brooklinen. Brooklinen provides luxury bedsheets, pillows, comforters and blankets delivered straight to your door. How do I know this? Because Brooklinen delivered me a quilt sheets,

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They do this stripe thing that's cool, but that's a dealer's choice. So are you ready to build your dream fall bed? Visit in-store or online at brooklinen.com. That's brooklinen.com, B-R-O-O-K-L-I-N-E-N.com. Get 15% off your first Brooklyn order and save extra when you bundle. It was the cabin of an airplane. He stabbed him with an ice cream. And the horse was taken riding. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen, fourteen, fifteen, sixteen,

seventeen, eighteen, nineteen, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty,

twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty ring the doorbell, we'll just ask Ryan if he wants to come on the show. He's been on before, right? He's one of our favorites. He's been on the main feed, he's been on Patreon. This should be so smooth.

Okay, I'm sorry. Well, yeah, I just, I feel like we should talk about this before we get here because I shit in a bag and it's already kind of like halfway on fire. So are we not doing that at all? No one asked you to do that. What? We just, we said let's get on our bikes. We'll meet over at Ryan's house.

We'll knock on the door and ask him if he can come out and play. And then I stopped listening because what else would we be doing? Ding dong ditch? Yeah, I assume. To our friend Ryan? No, of course not.

We're gonna ask his mom if he can come out to play. Uh, okay. Maybe play flashlight tag? I guess I'll eat what's in the bag. No, no, no, no. Everybody wants me to eat JPC bag. Why do you have a fork and knife? It's a Snickers.

Oh. It was a Snickers. It's not a Snickers. I don't like this at all. I don't like this. Ring the bell, let's get him out here, come on. I feel nervous. I don't see a doorbell. Okay, no doorbell.

Okay. Knock on the window. It feels weird to knock. It feels rude to knock again, right? Right? What if they're eating dinner? Let me look in the window. Okay, please.

What's going on? Mom, this dinner's great. This is delicious. Thank you, Mom. I see him. His chair's facing someone else. I can't see Mom. Yeah. Uh-oh.

Wait. My real mother, you have prepared another brilliant meal. Okay, so I see. You are real and you love me. I see in the corner what appears to be the stick that should be connected to a mop, but I don't see the mop head. Yeah, I don't see the mop head either. Yeah.

And it is almost Halloween and there's no pumpkin out front. A kiss on the cheek? Well, sure, why not? I'll take one. You'll take one. You'll take one. From the pumpkin.

Okay, do you see a pumpkin with mop hair seems to be perched on top of smaller pumpkins? God, all right. It's moving over to him to give him a kiss. It is moving. I'm gonna knock, I don't wanna watch anymore. On the list. Knock, knock, knock.

Hello? Hi, Mrs. Pumpkin, I mean mop, I mean Rosenberg. Can Ryan come out to play? Can Ryan come out to kiss? I mean. Play. I mean pumpkin? I'm can Ryan come out to play? Can Ryan come out and kiss? I mean, play. I mean, pumpkin? I'm real, I'm real. Yes, he can, yes.

Thank you, Mrs. Pumpkins. Hey, what's up, guys? Hey, Ryan. Oh, Mrs. Pumpkins turned around and it's Ryan. Oh, she's real, she's real. She's real and she loves me. Yeah, of course. And that was a real Snickers I ate. We're all, it's all real.

You got shit all over your face. What's the movie where they put like a Baby Ruth in the pool and everybody screams and runs out? Is that like a, what's the golf movie? Caddyshack. Is that Caddyshack? It's Caddyshack. Is it Caddyshack?

Yeah. Something like that. And he takes a bite of it, which you wouldn't do because even if it was a Baby Ruth, it's been in a pool with chlorine and like, yeah, piss and poo. Okay. Anyways, Ryan. Ryan. Hello.

It's so nice to have you. I don't think you've been on the main feed of our show since maybe 2021. Yeah, it's been a minute. Yeah. But you are famous for coming on to our Patreon episodes and making us laugh so hard that we cry. Oh, it's a pleasure to be here and it's a pleasure to make you sob. And I guess we should go ahead and get the elephant of the room out of the way.

We've all turned on Dan. We've soured on him. Too tall. What happened? Too tall. Too tall. Did he come on? Did he ruin an episode?

He did. Yeah. It's hard to believe. It's really hard to believe. He's a consummate professional. But I get it. I get it, he is tall. It's intimidating. Yeah, he is tall, and that's one of the bigger problems.

You guys are in two of our most famous scenes that people love the most, the lobster bisque one from the Valentine's Day episode, a classic, and then the haunted house one where we go down our YouTube rabbit hole in the middle of a haunted house. Two absolute classics. I love both those things. I could eat lobster bisque every day

for like two weeks maybe. But those two weeks I'd love it. Dot, dot, dot. That's the question we ask all of our guests is how many days do you think you could have lobster bisque in a row? Yeah, consecutive days could you eat lobster bisque. Okay, it's 30.

What about clam chowder? Maybe one, I'm not a big clam chowder guy. I like the chowder, I don't love the clam. Yeah. But then you're eating just what? Flour and water, what is just the chowder? Yeah, roux, butter. You can get me going on that.

I don't mind eating just gravy. Yeah, that's true. Where do you stand on a bread bowl? I love them. Why try to stand on them? Break it. That was our first riddle. And you passed.

Oh yes. I do feel, I love them. I'm so thrilled when I meet a bread if I like it. The red-ow is our first riddle. And you passed. Oh yes! I do feel, I'm so thrilled when I meet a bread bowl in the wild, because I feel like outside Panera, you don't see a lot, but every once in a while, there'll be a mom and pop with like a chili or whatever in a bread bowl and it's heaven. Oh yeah. Divine.

Like in the fall, a bread bowl in the fall. Yes, and I feel like you usually get them in like a locale that is enjoyable. You're like, oh, I'm near the beach in New England? Yes, yeah. Bread bowl. Got it. You said low-cal and I heard low-cal

and I'm like, I don't know where to get a fucking low-cal bread bowl, my man, but they're lying to you. You need something light. What about 8,000 calories of cream and bread? No, you never eat a loaf of bread just on its own, but if you pour a bunch of stew in there, now it's time. That is true.

Every time you eat a whole bread bowl, you eat a loaf of bread. Yeah. You don't eat another meal that day. I do like a low-cal bread bowl. It's like a bread bowl, but with a clear broth, where it's like... Ha-ha.

Just flushes out the bottom completely. Fuck the integrity. Yeah. Yeah, a low-cal bread bowl is like a taco salad. This isn't really bread, but it's like... It's got the appearance of bread. Miso soup in a bread bowl. A low- like, it's got the appearance of bread. Me so soup in a bread bowl. Look how bread bowl is just a bowl of soup.

You just don't eat the bread. It's also, bread bowl's better for the environment, right? Because you're not washing a bowl. So it's like, it's actually saving. No, I wash my bread bowls. I use them two, three times, throw them in the dishwasher. What, am I the drain writer? Yeah.

Wow, you're so resourceful. I do a plastic liner in my bread bowl so that I can use the bread bowl over. That makes me feel sick. So smart. Like an eating cereal. You have to season the plastic. Lucky Charms from a bread bowl. Good morning, everybody.

It's so funny how normal it would be to just get soup and bread, because a bread bowl, that feels normal, but if I saw someone eating Lucky Charms and I'm in love with bread, I'd be like, you're fucking insane. Right, you would be like, why did you go to these lengths? Who cares about this? That would be a great visual gag for like a loser older brother who needs to get excited. You would, stop using the bread bowl.

It's like a weird science, the older brother. I'm always fascinated by regional foods. You're from Southern California? Southern, Northern, a little bit of both. Low Cal, is what we call it. That's right. Is there any regional, like clam fritters, or I don't know. I don't know, I mean, I guess in Northern California,

it's almost like the Midwest, cause I was from like Sacramento area, so it's just sort of like country-ish, but like suburbs. So there was just a lot of like casseroles and barbecue. I think California's specific sort of is tri-tip. Do you guys have tri-tip? We don't, but I've seen it on like diners, drive-ins and dines.

It looks incredible. Tri-tip is a fantastic cut of beef that for some reason they only do like on the West Coast, but it's famous in the Santa Maria region, which is just north of Los Angeles. Okay. But up north, tri-tip is like the only thing that all my friends grill, the West Coast, but it's famous in the Santa Maria region, which is just north of Los Angeles. Okay. Uh, but up North tri tip is like the only thing that all my friends grill. Cause it's just like one huge steak that then you kind of cut up and share with

everybody. So it's like a roast, but you grill it, you know, uh, man, it's delicious. Everybody's got their little recipe, you know, is it similar to burnt ends? Um, no, you kind of just like, it's just like grilling a big roast and then you cut slices. So it's like eating a steak altogether or something like that. It's just the cut is a... Yeah, the cut is some, I think in another, in other parts of the country,

they just cut things differently so they don't end up with this one triangular piece of meat. And that's why it's called tri-tips because it's got three tips. It's so weird how like some, because it's got three tips. It's so weird how some things are regional foods that make sense. You're like, oh yeah, I guess it's grown in this region, but we were talking about this earlier.

It's like, every time I come to LA, I get breakfast tacos for every, once a day, for sure. We're obsessed with breakfast tacos. Breakfast tacos. Breakfast tacos. They're nowhere in the world, I feel like, except for- They don't fucking exist in Chicago. For Austin and California.

Yeah, they're just out here and it's like, why? It's shit that we have. Like, it's not impossible to get- It makes so much sense. Yes. Yeah. And you find breakfast burritos, they're your biggest, but I feel like, burrito you can't get even sauce across the board,

you can't get everything in one bite. That is so weird when someone has knowledge of almost everything and then one thing they're like, I couldn't even fathom it. When my town was a very small little suburb that was growing a lot as I grew up, so we got our first Taco Bell and it was like a big deal. There was like a long line around the thing and everything,

but they didn't know what a quesadilla was. And I was like, what do you mean? It's the easiest thing you can make here. They were like, well, it's not on the menu. And I'm like, yeah, but like, it's just cheese and a tortilla. And like, you can make it. And they're like, we just don't know how to ring it up. We don't know. And my mom, because like, we, me and my sister

were two picky kids and she was just like, just fucking make the quesadilla. They need it. It's like a deli being like, we have sandwiches. We don't have open-faced sandwiches. It's like a deli being like, we have sandwiches, we don't have open face sandwiches. It's like, take the top piece. What are you?

It's just a chef in the back just staring wide-eyed. Are you pranking my mom? What is this? Even me as a kid knows this is stupid. It's also funny for Taco Bell because it's like, we've invented a bunch of shit that doesn't exist, but we can't do a quesadilla. That's insane.

So silly. Don't you want an incharito? It's like no. Can we pinpoint the year the Taco Bell dog went the way of the dodo? Mm. Did what? Went the way of the dodo.

Oh. Was extinct? Yeah. You think the Taco Bell dog went extinct? Yeah, they don't have that anymore. I haven't actually seen any Chihuahuas lately. Yeah. Come to think of it.

Come to think of it. It's the only way you get dry tips, so they're all gone now. You can go to the National History Museum and see a Chihuahua skeleton, right? It's really, really moving. And you press a button and it goes too soon. Yeah, no, no, no.

What a moment that was, though. Everybody in the country was saying, Yo, Kira, talk about it. They had plushies, they had stickers, they had my heart. They had hopes for the future. We collected all they had... They had multiple. They had multiple. They had hopes for the future. Because we collected all of them. There was like four different ones that you could get.

When we were kids, we were, A, huge on fast food. Fast food was our favorite fucking thing in the world. But also, we were huge on the novelty stuff that you got. And I remember several times in my life, like Pokemon was at McDonald's thing at one point, or maybe it was Burger King. But we would be at the drive-thru line line being like hey, I know you can't request toys But if you have like the voltorb like that's the one that we don't have and is it pause and is that a real Pokemon?

Voltorb yeah, okay But I don't know if that was one of the real toys that existed but we would like plead with people to like Give us the toy that we didn't already have I Was pretty addicted to the McDonald's Monopoly for a while. Oh yeah. My mom and I both, we would like, even when I moved away and lived separately, when it would come back we'd be like, hey, it's Monopoly time.

And it's like, I'm connecting with my mom long distance over fast food. Very strange. It's very American. Very American, very Trumpy. I feel like that probably jump started a lot of gambling issues for people, because I feel like I, as a teenager,

would be like, I gotta go to McDonald's, and then I'd order a medium fry and whatever, and I'd get it and I'd be like, no stickers, and I'd be like, sorry, where's the stickers? And they're like, it's large and above, or whatever, and I'd be like, can I get a large then? And they're like, we can't swap, and I'm like, give me a large.

You can't fry swap, come on. Come on. Get out of here. And then you gotta go to Vegas. And that's why we have FanDuel now. Yeah. And it's better, and it's just better for people. It's better. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Unless they wanna advertise, and then I guess we'll do it.

I bet you a million dollars I'm gonna get boardwalked. You're betting on the chance of a lottery or something? Ryan, we've probably asked you this several times before, but what is your relationship with puzzles, riddles, daily games? I like them. I think I spend a lot of time alone as a kid and puzzle. I like figuring things out.

I like knowing how things work. And so a riddle is like a perfect, you like, you know there's an answer. You know it's figure outable. So I love to sort of, I used to do those brain teasers in the newspaper. Or is that what they're called?

Brain teaser, no, I don't know. The word search, you did a square. Yeah, it's usually like a square and then it's like a thing that's hard to decipher. It's not a riddle, but it's like a, you know, it'll have like a line and then a over. Oh, the Rebus, is that what they're called? What is it called?

No, that was the guy who ran the RNC for a while. Square and titles. I think rebus are like, where it's like, the words, there'll be giant letters that spell out middle and then the word stuck will be super tiny. Stuck in the middle or something. And it will be stuck in the middle. I think that's a rebus.

Okay. But is that what you're describing? How do you spell rebus? R-E-E-B-U-S or maybe R. I think the other, I think with an H is the monkey. R-E-B-A-A-posh-F-E-S. It's gibus with an R instead of a J. Yes, a rebus puzzle is a picture representation of a name, work, or phrase.

Yeah, portrays a common word or phrase. Interesting. Like head over heels. Yeah. Yes, okay, at all. We're learning a word. Okay, at all. This really is a learning a part. Okay, at all. This really is a brutal podcast.

All right, Rebus. But take away a point because I said Rebus Monkey and that's not a thing. Rebus McIntyre. I was thinking Rebus McIntyre. I'm singing, I'm singing, I'm singing,

I'm singing, I'm singing, I'm singing, I'm singing, I'm singing, I'm singing, I'm singing, I'm singing,

I'm singing, I'm singing, I'm singing, I'm singing, I'm singing, I'm go. You know what, Aaron, you should have an app that's Aaron Shazam, and it just, you can only use it if someone doesn't know the lyrics. It's still Shaquille O'Neal. Yeah. Yeah, that's really funny. So, Ryan, you are our third episode of the day, and in the two previous episodes, we played Connections,

and then we played, what was it called? Spottal. Spottal. Would you like to play one of those daily games with us? Sure. Before we get into this. Yes, I love connections, but I really like it and it really frustrates me. Okay, sure.

Some days I'm like, this is the best game, it's kinda easy and it's fun, and then sometimes I wanna break my phone in half and throw it across the room. There are, yeah, there's times where it's like, these are all gases that were invented in, or discovered in 1600s and it's like, nobody all gases that were invented in there discovered in 1600s It's like nobody knows this right are we doing I have two suggestions for games

We could play we could do my favorite which is when taken have you guys played when taken yet? Yes, you have to figure out when your daughter exactly went missing Yeah No They give you five photos taken different places and in different times in history, and you can earn up to 100 points for the place and the time. Okay, if there are photos, they can't be in that many different places

and times in history. Exactly, but it's still kinda hard. So you'd be like, oh, I bet this is New York in 1920, and you get to zoom in on a map, and then the closest you get to the year. So we could do that, or we could do movie-whirl, where they give you a screenshot from a movie. And you, screenshots from movies, and you have to guess what movie it is. If we could do like movie wordle where they give you like a screenshot from a movie. And you, screenshots from movies

and you have to guess what movie it's from. If we do movie wordle, will it be easier for all of us to play at the same time? I think they're both be equally as easy to play. I'll let Ryan pick because you're our guest. They both sound great. I like the first one. Great, let's do when taken.

So what's the web address for when taken? Just tap in when taken into Google and it should be the first, no it's actually not the first thing to come up. Holy shit. We had a chance to do today's connections and blow Ryan's mind. Yeah, we could have been like.

That would have been so funny, we do connections three times a week. Just cheating. What is it called again? When taken. When taken. I'm gonna do win taken game and see if that gets me anywhere.

I'm on the movie The Windtalkers website. I'm on the Wind Dixies because of Wind Dixies IMDB. All right, we gotta scroll down. This is weird, the page is different. Are we doing the daily game? Yes, daily game. I haven't thought about Windtalkers. I think maybe since the trailer was out.

Yeah. All right, daily game. So I see zero out of a thousand at the top. I see a picture of a person rowing a boat with some houses in the background and some water. Yes. Is this the right? Yeah.

Yeah, yes. Go to the right and go daily game. Yeah, perfect. The most I've ever gotten on this game is 9 game. Okay. Yeah, perfect. The most I've ever gotten on this game is 934. Okay, good to know. So it says explore the image and try to guess when and where it was taken, then navigate to the map and use your slider to place your guesses.

Okay. I see. So Erin, what else do you see in this photo? It looks to me like Southeast Asia. I would say 100% either Thailand or Cambodia, possibly Vietnam, but the ornamental awnings look more Cambodian or Thai. Okay.

Yeah, I was gonna say Thailand. Okay, great. So we're thinking Thailand. What year do we think? I was actually thinking Arby's, but Thailand works for me. There's a bunch of, what are those called, satellites on top of some of these buildings. Yeah, like direct TV, satellite dishes.

I'm thinking like 2009. Oh, and in the top right corner, is that like a skyscraper? Yeah, it looks modern. Yeah. So I would say, yeah, in the 2000s. 2014. Interesting.

So I'm gonna guess, Thailand. I'm going Bangkok 1971. No, I'm going Bangkok and I'm going 20. I went Bangkok and I went 2007. 2007? I went 2007. 2019. Oh, did everyone hit their answer?

Yes. It was. Fuck. Oh my gosh, I was 215 kilometers away and two years off. So it was 2017. It was 2017. In Thailand. Wow.

It was 2017 in Thailand, yeah. Adel. I was 208 kilometers away. Oh my God. 209. Wow. I shouldn't have gone right in Bangkok, it's obviously not Bangkok.

Next round. I mean, this doesn't look anything like fucking Bangkok, okay. I was three years off and 206 kilometers away. Oh my God. Adel, you got Thailand, so I feel like that's a point to you. Next photo. Hmm, this looks like some sort of festival where there's children. Pass.

Pass, okay. Is this a church? Okay, in this next photo, it's pass. And this next photo is pass. This is a church with a painting of a cow somewhere. Oh yeah, that's interesting. It's got like a little, almost like a farmer's market vibe. Yeah.

This feels like a Latvian festival or something. Like Eastern European? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, I've definitely seen, I'm witnessing a murder in mine. There's a person with a Jumeirikoi hat walking backwards down a wall. This is a Jumeirquois concert in Latvia.

Yeah, okay, so this is a Latvian Jamiroquois concert. I'm gonna do Latvia. Yeah, if you zoom in on one of the posters, there's a word that I definitely don't recognize. Oh, okay, so. And if you're doing Latvia, I'm gonna do Poland just to mix it up. I'm gonna do right outside Warsaw in Sedils

Which I've never heard of this town. Oh, and I'm gonna do I'm gonna do It looks like I'm gonna do Kansas, Lithuania and this looks like it is going to be from 99 baby. I am 16 years off and 355 kilometers away and 355 kilometers away. Don't tell me where. Wait, don't, Ryan hasn't guessed yet. Ryan doesn't guess yet. It's okay. Sorry, sorry.

That's okay. Wow, I was. But Adel, you, so far, I feel like immediately have had a great gut for both photos. I feel like this game is about to be your game. I was way off, I was fucking way off. 24 years off, 692 kilometers. Slovakia in 2022, right?

It's the European Folk Craft Festival at the Castle of Quesmara. Next round. How is anyone supposed to know that? How is anyone supposed to know that? Now this one I know. We know this. I don't even have to, this one.

Taco Bell. We know this one. This one is a temple in Taco Bell, Mexico. Mm-hmm. Where in Mexico is this? I was gonna say, it's a shame that I know it and then go, hmm. How do I get it though? And it looks kind of like the 90s to me.

This looks like a. This looks like the 90s. Is there anything in here, Aaron, that screams 90s to you? It's the photo quality. It looks like it was done on like a Kodak, what are they, like the CVS ones. Yeah, that could be right.

This would developed for sure. Yeah. This area doesn't look very developed to me. It looks like there's kind of just like an old, triangular building there. It doesn't look developed at all. There's an old one across the street. All right, I'm gonna lock in my guess here.

Ooh boy, seven years off, 725 kilometers. I was seven years off as well. Yeah Okay, this makes sense. Yes, I was five years off and I was 1300 kilometers away But I guess Mexico. Yeah, cool. Yes small you guessed Mexico, but you didn't know the name of the country Which is I was 30 years off and 812 kilometers. 30 years? What did you guess? 1972.

I guessed 2036. I kind of stopped paying attention in the middle of doing it, I think. Next one feels... Oh, this is easy peasy. Oh yeah. Central Park, baby. This is Alaska.

Alaska. Aren't we so funny with our little jokes? Yeah, I think we're pretty funny. Funny little jokes. This looks old enough. Because it's not those places. Yeah. Aren't we so funny with our little jokes? Yeah, I think we're pretty funny. Funny little jokes. This looks old. Because it's not those places. Yeah.

It looks like New Orleans. That's the French Quarter. French Quarter. To be sure. And it looks like 80s maybe? I'm looking at the cut of the jeans that people are wearing and I gotta say, I have no idea what the fuck I'm doing here. I can't play this game at all.

I think this is like one street off Jackson Square. Is New Orleans in Europe or still they've moved it? They moved it. Piece by piece. Wow, you can get pretty granular with where you drop your pins. That's pretty cool. It's the best feeling when you get the exact spot.

That's happened to me, actually in a place in New Orleans. You know, I think all these pictures are surprisingly modern. I thought they'd be older. Yeah. Like it says 1860 is the end. I haven't seen a single one in the, before the 2000s even.

I was spot on with the location only one kilometer away. But I was 12 years off with my guess on the year. I was 874 meters away, and I was 26 years off. Whoa! Yeah, it was the 70s. I knew it was the 70s. I fucked up. I was 25 years off. What a loser.

Damn, Adil, how close did you get? Did you say 2000 or did you say 1950? Yeah, 1950. No, yeah, I said 2000. I'm still zooming into New Orleans. Is there a way to just type in a location or you have to zoom? You gotta zoom. You gotta zoom. It's like the you have to zoom? You gotta zoom. You gotta zoom.

It sucks. It's like the pandemic again, baby, you gotta zoom. How many meters away were you? 874. I was 325 meters. Ooh la la, that's crazy. Three football fields, pretty good. Or one swimming pool.

Did I grow up wealthy? Three. No. All right, this is our last, oh, Adil still has to guess. No, he's obsessing over the fact that he's, oh, interesting, okay. On this one I got location, 100 out of 100,

year 35 out of 100. Whoa. That's a big biff. I don't know what this, and this next photo looks like some sort of church. Six kilometers away. It looks like either next photo looks like some sort of church. Six kilometers away. It looks like either a church

or like some sort of government building. Yeah. Okay, Sam is trying to get directions somewhere. To get out of here. I'm feeling maybe London. Well, it's got some signs in the background that are more modern. Yeah, Philip's TV. Yeah, Prince Philip's.

Oh, Prince Philip's. This is London. I would guess England or maybe Quebec City or Montreal. This is either England. Definitely England or Philadelphia is what I would guess. This looks like Birmingham. What year? 70? Yeah, the photo has some nice grainy quality.

I'm going to do 78. I think. Oh my God, I was 1000. I was 1314 kilometers off. Oh, I could not have guessed that. I couldn't guess that. I was only eight years off. OK, I'm going to view my total results. My total results were 796. Erin, that game is pretty fucking hard.

Yeah. This is very hard. Yeah. My total results were 787. It's, when, or 787? Okay, well I beat you, so. I guess the game isn't that hard. When you guys said you were far off, I tried to make a guess on that,

but I guess in the wrong direction. So I'm 3,000 kilometers away, but I'm only three years off. Oh, wow. Okay, there you go. Otto, what was your final score? I don't know, Taco Bell. You want something from Taco Bell? Well, they don't have fucking quesadillas, so I guess get in line, buddy. They don't have chocolate tacos anymore?

Erin, do you think that you have a particular, like, do you think that game works well to your skill set? Do you think that that's the kind of, like, deductive mind that you have? particular, like, do you think that game works well to your skill set? Do you think that that's the kind of like deductive mind that you have? No, honestly, when I first started it. Sorry, I thought I was teeing you up for something. No, no, no, but I do think, and this is funny

because it's not like I'm getting any more information about the world, but I've gotten so much better. I've been playing it for maybe four months. Okay. And I would say that I've made an incredible improvement. The way that you, yeah, you just get better at guessing. The longer you play. Have you guys seen that guy that guesses

the location in the world? Ugh, I'm obsessed. It's remarkable. I guess if you just play that a bunch, you just recognize the patterns or something. Yeah, that's true. He just knows like types of grass. It'll be like a country road and be like,

that's a perennial, this only grows in the southern hemisphere. Oh, that's Russian dirt. Like I've heard him say that's Russian dirt That mean And there's no way that guy's cheating Does it's not if it's on the internet? I mean, yeah I mean if it's on the internet because I've seen some of this to

limited amounts of this but I've seen some of this too and it feels like I Feel it feels like it could be cheating but the other thing that I've seen is like the videos that are parodying that more, which I think is also very funny to embody that character who's like, oh yeah, this is Russian dirt, and then it's like, there's whatever the twist or the joke is. Yeah, I don't know.

It's one of those skills that I'm like, oh, very cool, that's a great skill to have. But then I'm like, but is it? He must make money doing it. Is that a game you can win money at? It feels like one of those skills that actually is kind of a curse because it's like, it doesn't really translate to anything except that.

As a really good bowler, it's like, well, I guess you can go bowling whenever you want, but that's it. Like there's nothing else that does. Long sport. You'll always drive a Mazda. I wanna see a scene, Ryan, you are Ryan, you're what's known around the world as a Google Maps detective. Yes.

Where just from a ransom photo you can tell information. JPC and Aaron, you are unfortunately parents of someone who was taken and you're trying to hire Ryan to get some info. So the kidnapper, they gave us the proof of life. Here's the photo that they gave us that was taken yesterday. So we're hoping... This is clearly Norwegian wind. You see the flag moving there?

That's an east to west pattern. That's probably Norwegian wind. So he's probably somewhere far north. It looks like maybe that's a painting of a flag. Oh, okay. Sorry about that. No, no worries. Yeah. it looks like maybe that's a painting Like sorry about that. Yeah, no, no worries. Yeah, but but no, but that's a good but wow, that's so impressive That's exactly what we're talking in the background. We hear Sorry, I'm just a little on edge obviously like my kid is gone our kid Don't oh

You're from Philadelphia. I can see that in you. I'm from Canada, so what? I'm sorry, I meant him, I meant him. I'm from Philadelphia, yeah. Yeah, right, right, right. And I'm not a stepdad. Alberta.

That's her name. But we did say that on the phone. I was reading that, yeah, right, right, right. So. And I'm not a stepdad, I'm the dad who stepped up. You're technically a stepdad. Well, the dad who stepped up. You're technically a stepdad. Well, I wouldn't have bought the t-shirt if I wasn't also the dad that stepped up.

And I'm just invested in finding our child. Well, how can I help you? Forget. I apologize. But what is your background? Why? They say you're the best. But like, why are we coming to you?

Alberta. Why are we coming to him? The best. Because I'm the Google locator. They say you're the best, but like, why are we coming to you? Why are we coming to him? The best. Because I'm the Google locator. I can Google anything and locate it with my mind. Yeah, it says that on your door on the sheet of paper, and it's written in crayon.

He's the Google locator. He can Google anything and locate it with his mind. I'm like a human Google with images. With images. He's a human Google image. Thank you so much for having my back. Obviously, you've read the website. Well, I actually, you know, game recognize game,

I can tell you're a stepdad. Wow. Yeah. Wow. Everyone's deep. Everyone's deep. It seems like you couldn't afford the- I'm the daddy who stepped up, but I hear what you're saying.

Yeah, I can see it on your t-shirt. The brotherhood. Thank you so much. This is actually, I didn't mean to wear the shirt today. I meant to wear a blazer. Apologize. Well, I don't know. Just this whole thing seems a little bit like,

your website actually looked like it was shut down. It looked like you couldn't quite afford it anymore when we tried to look at it. Yeah, I take a second. It said that you couldn't quite afford it. Well, I had to post that. I had to post that I can't afford to run the website and it will be taken down when the month is up.

When the month is up. But I'm hoping that this gig pays well and we might be able to fix that so you guys have tried everything Everything you've tried everything and now you're back here to the google locator police. We went to the mounties never Um, yeah within those are the two countries that were canada so you're talking about canada and america exactly And neither one of the both governments. Yeah, it's pretty good. Neither government could help. Here we are in your step kids tree house At the end of our rope begging for help begging. Well Well can I see a picture? Can I see another? Yeah I'm sorry so this is the picture. It's cute, it's really cute. It's a cute photo. Thanks. Yeah this is the

kidnapper sent us this photo. Of my kid. Sorry the kid is, I can tell the kid is cute but the photo is not cute. Thank you for saying that. Right, that would be insane. But a adorable child in a horrible situation. And they're frightened, obviously, because it's a kidnapping situation. And she looks a lot like her dad, her bio dad. So that's why she doesn't look that much like me.

And that's why she looks like nothing like me. Hey, I fully get it. Yeah. I fully get it. You understand the struggle. Now listen, I fully get it. Yeah, I fully you understand my I fully understand the struggle now listen I know this is an interior picture. Mm-hmm, but I do see a little light coming in from the West. Okay, what's the West? I didn't notice that. Did you Alberta? Did you clock that this picture of her in the canoe? Is an indoor picture and there's a light coming in from the West though, cuz that's not something that I okay

So it is outdoor. You're right. That's a good observation, but the light is coming in from the west, which I can tell. I'm still thinking, well no, Norwegian was from the old thing. I'm thinking American South. How long has this been? How far do you think they've been able to go? This photo was taken yesterday. Wow. Yeah.

And when did they go missing? Oof. Three days ago? Three days ago, yeah. Wow, so they could be there. It could have been two, it could have been four. Between two and four days ago. It was three. I'm thinking American South. I'm thinking Florida Panhandle or Louisiana Toe.

Did he put you up to this? Because he's been wanting to do a road trip there. No, I haven't. To the Redneck Riviera. No. The Redneck Riviera. I want to go to Destin, Florida. And that's not really Panhandle,

it's Panhandle and Chase it. I went to Destin when I was in eighth grade and it scared the shit out of me. It was the first time, I was from Southern California, so it was the first time I'd ever seen the Rebel flag flown everywhere, and I was like, dad, these people are just being racist, what are we doing?

And he's like, yeah, I guess, welcome to the rest of the country, and it was truly scary. I didn't know it existed, yeah. I went to's like, yeah, I guess welcome to the rest of the country. And it was truly scary. I didn't know it existed. Yeah. I went to Destin, Florida when I was, I think I was 14 or 15. And it was in high school. I was a vegetarian.

I was like rail thin. I had like some blood issues with nutrients and I wasn't doing well. And I went to Destin, Florida and my friend, with my friend's family, someone took a picture of us, his dad or something took a picture of us on the beach. And later we had that picture and one of our other friends said that I looked like I had escaped from a refugee camp.

And I said, oh yeah. That's one of those burns that has stuck with me for the rest of my life. Yes, yes. Well this has never happened before, but we're gonna go on to a quick break without having done a single riddle. Well no, we did five riddles,

but it was just like a game that we put on our phones. Yeah, that's so true. Okay, see you after the break, forgive us. The listeners could see those pictures right here. We'll see you after the break. We'll apologize then, sorry. We'll screenshot them or something. We'll screenshot them or something. Screenshot them or something.

Who gives a shit? One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten. This podcast is sponsored by Squarespace. Hi, Aaron, JPC. I would like to formally invite the two of you to be my dates for the local square dance. Oh, wow, you printed up an invitation and everything. This looks very professional, Adel.

And I'm wearing a little cowboy outfit. We like that. Oh, and I see that you made a website using Squarespace. Adelrefiesquaredancingpartyveryreal.com. Tried to keep us succinct. Wow, so you use Squarespace, the all-in-one website platform for entrepreneurs to stand out and succeed online,

whether you're just starting out or managing a growing brand. Squarespace, they make it easy to create a beautiful website, engage with your audience, and sell anything from products to content to time, all in one place, all on your terms. That's what you did for your website. Adorafy Squared and Aaron Harold,

help me out at any time with this. Adorafy Squared and very real Squared and party with it. Mm-hmm. Dot com. Yes. Yep, and with Squarespace, I can also sell content. I can sell exclusive content on my site by adding a paywall to sell memberships, of course,

or sell files to customers that they can download, or PDFs, music, ebooks. On this site, I have little cowboy hats that say cow-addle. Cow-addle. It also looks like you can upload video content, organize your video library, and showcase your content on beautiful video pages.

You can even sell access to your video library by adding a paywall to your content. Looks like I'm going to play this video. Oh, it's you teaching us how to square dance. All right, everyone. Addle up and ride. You're high. Pretty hard.

Also, it looks like you can make checkout kind of seamless for your customers with simple but powerful payment tools. You can accept credit cards, PayPal, Apple Pay, and in eligible countries are for customers the option to buy now and pay later with Afterpay and Clearpay. Hmm, it looks like I'm crying in the video because not enough people know about Squarespace. Yeah, it actually kind of looks like you got Squaredance in your eye.

That's why you're crying. I don't know how you get Squaredance in your eye. Yeah, it looks like that's what it was. Well, here's what I'll say. If you get squared ins in your eye, head to squarespace.com for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, go to www.squarespace.com slash riddle to save 10% off your first purchase

of a website or domain. Erin, do-si-do. OK, I will be there, Adel. I will be your date. JBC, you coming? No. Great. With Audible, there's more to imagine when you listen.

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Sign up for a free 30-day Audible trial, and your first audiobook is free. Visit audible.ca to sign up. Back from the break. What? Back from the break. Why? I'm drinking. All right, sorry. I've spooked everyone by coming back to the break too fast.

You went back from the break so fast, you didn't even ask me my feelings. Aaron, do you mind coming back by yourself for a minute? Yeah, okay. Back from the break. No one's making eye contact with me, they're still checked out mentally. I'm ready.

Oh Ryan, that's so nice. It's hard to put my cup down when I can't see my coaster. And Adol, you? Dead inside. Yeah, got it. I'll always undercut two of my friends to be nice to someone. That's so lovely.

You know what I mean? I think that is an issue that I have. I think I would be nice to my friend's siblings instead of hanging out with my friend, you know what I mean? Yeah. And they're like, why are you being nice to him? I'm your friend.

It's like, yeah, but your little brother's cool. Yeah, I'm trying to fuck your brother by. Yeah, dude. What can I say? I'm fucking with everybody. What's like, yeah, your little brother's cool. Yeah, I'm trying to fuck your brother by. Yeah, dude. What can I say? I'm flirting with everybody. What's up with your mom over there? What's up with the dog? I got some riddles.

What was that? Nothing, nothing. Great. Okay, perfect. These are some riddles. They did not give me permission to use their name or give a name. Let's use it.

You know what I'm saying? I made these for my D&D group. I am hoping they are baby level riddles. My friends got them pretty quickly, but don't worry. I won't time you guys. I hope 2038 is treating you well. A little commentary on how long it takes for us to read these riddles. Love the podcast and can't wait

for the 20 year anniversary concert. Wow. Answers are all one word. I hope I'm dead. You know what I'm dead. What does that give me? 14 more years? Inside and out. My child will be 14. That's cool.

To see me out of place is dreadful. Hurt me not by a shout, but sticks and stones I stay. I stay far from. Erin, you are not going to believe this. You weren't listening. I was talking, in fact, and it's really hard to listen to me talk. I found in my life. Inside and out, to see me out of place is dreadsome.

Hurt me not by a shout, but sticks and stones I stay far from. This is cool too, but again, I was listening this time, but I was listening a little too well because I heard a word that I hadn't heard in a long time and I really liked, dreadsome. Dreadsome is an excellent word. Does it mean like dreadful?

Yeah. Like feared? Yeah. Yeah, oh. This one is not only a riddle, but just maybe hard to understand the word. Yeah. It's just written in a very musical or magical way.

Well, they said that these are like Dungeons and Dragons riddles, right? Yeah. Okay. Yeah, you would want to stay away from sticks and stones if you were this. The wording, it feels like gaseous where you can't grasp it, where it feels like it's just,

the phrasing of it is just out of reach of comprehension because they're not using like solid verbs. That is true. And also I'm terrible at reading. No. No, no, no, I am. You did wonderful. I'm bad at it. Can we hear it one more time?

Yes. Inside and out. To see me out of place is dreadful. Hurt me not by a shout, but sticks and stones I stay far from. What Erin? That's the most helpful. You don't think that that's sexy?

What? The way that you you read I gotta give a compliment sexy is the weirdest I just know from the deep parts of my soul how unsexy that was oh god okay but you don't get to pick what other people find sexy. Mrs. Keefe, I just want to say this riddle is delicious. Thank you. Beat Ryan to his own game. Six and Zones break bones, right? Six and Zones may break my bones.

And to see a bone out inside or out is disturbing. That is gross. So it's bones. It's bones. Oh, that was kind of popped in my head first, but I was like, I think I don't get it. Same. Same. I was like, it was a bone? Yeah. It couldn't be Oh, that was kind of what popped in my head first, but I was like, I think I don't get it. Same, same. You guys got it.

I was like, it was a bone? Yeah. Couldn't be that. I'd like to see a scene. You guys are like three preteens in the woods, and you're stumbling across some bones. Dude, what are we even out here for? This is so stupid.

Let's just go back to the diner. Hold on. When we get there, you guys will see what I'm talking about. It's gonna be worth it, okay? Is it a stash of magazines? No, man, it's not. Why do we order though, you guys will see what I'm talking about. It's gonna be worth it, okay? Is it a stash of magazines? No, man, it's not. Why do we order though before we left? Like, let's go either...

It's only gonna take 10 minutes and then the food's gonna be hot when we get back. Justin, your Frisco melt will be eaten, okay? It better be by me. By you, Justin, by you. Sorry, Justin, by you. And it better taste like San Francisco too, I'm fucking serious. You've never been there, you don't know what San Francisco better the dough better be sour. That's all I'm saying

Sour dough. Yeah, okay. I don't think they could legally call it a Frisco mountain. Let's go start. You're right You're right. I guess they could if it had like um French fries inside whoa, what is this? Okay, you guys are not gonna believe this what the fuck what the? Okay, that's what I'm saying. I think we're gonna be famous. Okay, huh? Because I feel like I've discovered like a Species or like a really old species Yes, say it. It's a dead body. Yeah But what is it doesn't look human, right? Yeah. Yeah, it's like hairy. Yeah and

Dude, no clothes. No shoes. No clothes. No shoes. How long have you known about this? You saw this before Me and my cousin came out here yesterday And we promised not to tell anyone and my cousin like he's trustworthy. Okay, he played it so cool at the diner Dude, you're you are an awesome actor. If you get famous, it'll work for you. No, no. I fucked up my order. I fucked up my order.

I'm sure you guys thought, because I ordered a dead body, and the guy said, what? Oh, I thought that was like, I thought that was hilarious. Like a slice of pie and Coke or something. Yeah, no, I said dead body and he said, what? And I said, big gravy.

And he said what and I said big gravy and he said what? And I said I want some big Gravy, I dude. I just thought you were being hilarious It's my cousin this is Gloria Lantern when it's still light out. Yes. I can barely see. Gloria, these are my friends. This is who I was telling you about.

They can help with the body. Yeah, right. Do you know this guy? The lantern keeps the bugs away. This guy? That's my cousin. No, the body. That guy?

No. No? Cousin and like a, this is, you know, like your dad's friend. No. You guys are family, like related family? Cousins. Yeah, my dad is her uncle. My mom's brother.

Age gap? Age difference? My mom's older brother is his dad. That's like an 80 year age gap, it feels like. Cousins can have big age gaps, that's, yeah. That's how cousins work. I guess scars don't run the family, but you're covered in them. Huh.

You can see those, because of the lantern? They're visible. So who do you think killed this body, boys? You're freaking me out, I was never here. Do not tell anybody that I saw the body. I don't wanna be involved. Don't go back to the diner. Solve the mystery.

Have the summer of your lives. I was about to. I was gonna kick it off with a Frisco melt. This is even better than a Frisco melt. This is a mystery, okay? We can- Forget it, boys. Sandwich summer, what? God.

The summer of sandwiches. The summer of sandwiches. You guys suck. I had my cool cousin Gloria set this whole thing up. This is just two dogs. Two dead dogs? No. Go boys, go. Whoa!

We were going to have an awesome summer trying to figure out the mystery. So you didn't eat a real dead body? No. If my burger is cold, dude, I should burn it off. So you do admit it's a burger. Old is a scene and new is a horror. What? A screw, a slice, also a slice of pie and a coke being called a dead body at a diner

is so good. I'll take a dead body. It feels like a steak and chicken thing. A slice of pie and a coke. Yeah. Old is a scene and new is a horror. A screw, a slice, a stab to one cork. Thicker than water is the juice of long pork.

Pretty sexy, right? Long pork is human. We know that. Pretty sexy. So the juice of long pork. Oof, I'm not good at these. Juice of long pork, let's talk about what juices come out of humans.

Blood. Yeah. Blood. You got it, Ryan. It's blood. Oh, thicker than water, did you say? These are easier than I think. I just got the first dumb word that hits my head, I guess. These are easy as a dead body, which is pie and a duck. A stab to uncork, I think, is pretty fun.

A stab to uncork. Oh. Ooh. I think I need to see these written down or something. I'm almost getting none of this. I just don't love the idea of being uncorked. Like me a man, me a person. Like someone stabbing me to uncork me.

Cause are they paying the uncorking fee? Yeah, they're gonna take a little taster. Let it decant. I've never in my life had, I've- Never been stabbed? No, I've been stabbed. We'll have to get you stabbed. I do not have the palette for wine,

but anytime friends order wine or there's wine at the table, whenever they pour a little sniff of it and then hand it to me, I'm always like, oh, I don't know what to do. And I panic and I'm always like very good. And they'll stand there for a minute. I'm like, do I say something else? Do I?

It's so stressful. The etiquette is you throw it over your shoulder to keep witches away. Mm-hmm. Oh. Okay, Adel, if you had to. Yes. And I know you have no idea what you're doing,

you don't have the palette for it. Do you think, if you were in a group of strangers who didn't know this about you, do you think that you could fake that you know something about how to like test wine? No. I wanna see a scene. No.

Right, you're at a wine bar. Adel, you're getting into wine, but you're too embarrassed to say that you don't know anything about it. So you're pouring wine and you're trying to do all the fancy things that you think is appropriate with wine. Sorry, he's pouring me wine? He's pouring you the wine, yeah. Well, welcome in.

I'm excited to give you this experience. Thank you so much. It's, yeah, it was a gift. So not, maybe not my field of expertise, but I'm excited to learn. Well, this one is a nice sweet wine. It's a Chateauneuf de Pape. It'll have a floral all the way from the bottom

straight to the top. It's not meant to rhyme. That was an accident. And sorry, Siri, can you search this? Can you say that name again? Chateauneuf de Pape. It's floral all the way from the bottom to the top. Sorry, Siri, can you search this? Can you say that name again? Shatanev De Pop. It's floral all the way from the bottom. Search for Timothy Chalabay.

I don't care. This is kind of rude. This phone's not gonna help you there, but I'm not gonna stop. But yes, this is a good wine and I know all about it and I think you'll enjoy it as much as the last person did. Good, and what notes will I be hitting with this? There'll be an A in there.

There'll be a G cause you know, everything is everything. You know, the, the certain vibrations of the chord of a note is the same as this, the vibration that goes through your body when, uh, something hits your tongue. All that from these two ounces? Absolutely. Oh, that is a bit of a heavy taster there. Sorry about that. Yeah, it's two shots of wine there.

Want me to pour some back in the bottle? No, no, no, no, absolutely not. Absolutely not. I know this much. That's not allowed. Okay, let me... I know a lot, actually. I'm not thinking. Okay. And so it's like, there's this, there's acidity. Good. And there are, it feels like, um, there's like a granular chocolate.

And you said you didn't know about wine. This is perfect. A granular chocolate tastes like booze. Well, let's try another one. All right. Try another one. So the Chateauneuf sounds like you like it. Did you say Timothy Chalamet?

Um, I don't care about that. I don't, I'm not, I'm just going to ignore that. It pisses me off, but I'm going to ignore it. So the Chateauneuf sounds like you like did you say Timothy Chalamet? I'm just gonna ignore that it pisses me off, but I'm gonna ignore it Maybe something more Exotic or do you have like natural wines? I've heard I do. Yeah, maybe something talk a lot about orange natural wines Okay, I see exactly what fuck that's delicious you watch. I don't so good You watch? I don't. So good. I specifically don't. Specifically.

I specifically choose not to. It is advertised to me often, but yes, here we have one of our skin contact wines. This is an orange wine. It's not made of oranges, even though a lot of people think that. Because it's got the contact from the skin of the grape, it gives it a little bit of an orange hue.

I, for one, think this one tastes like shit. What do you think? Now I don't want to drink it. Well, that's what I would do. Because I feel like your opinion feels like you're going into a movie and somebody walking out is being like, this blows like fucking waste of money. Well, you might like it. It's got a bit of a funk. Um, you know, are people who...

Yeah, you may like it. But for a sommelier to be like, I think it's shit, you might like it. That feels loaded. Searching for Timothy Somalia Hi, do you have a minute you may recognize me? I'm Timothy Chalamet. I'm here to pick up a bottle of wine for my date Oh, all right. Wonderful. Do we already let's see. I'm not seeing any pre-orders here I was hoping to pick something new. Oh, you don't have an order you just announced Yeah, I just would like to pick up a bottle of wine.

Why, are you mad at me? No, just if you don't have an order place, you don't have to give me your name and the whole thing. You just say hi, I'd like a bottle of wine. I kind of wanted you to know this. I don't know. From Willy Wonka, Timothee Chalamet? Do you know who this is?

Gene Wilder? Gene Wilder? Are you meaning to say Gene Wilder? I'm Timothee Chalamet. I'm hearing- Noodle, noodle, the new Willy Wonka, noodle, noodle. Noodle, noodle. Noodle, noodle, the new Willy Wonka, noodle, noodle. Noodle, noodle. Noodle is not Willy Wonka. Dune, ah, meh.

Dune. Lady, the pasta restaurant is down the street. That's me. I was calling Timothy Lady, not you. And what will the lady have? Noodle, noodle. Did you guys see the new Wonka on an airplane? No.

That's the only place. I did watch a little piece of it. Yeah. Yeah. Is it good? It's not only is it not good, it's just weird. It's like why did they make this and who is supposed to like it? Yeah. Because it's not really for kids.

I don't get it. I saw one of the funniest reviews, which was when the trailer first came out. I don't know if it was different from what was actually in the movie, but everyone was saying it was giving table read energy. Oh, wow. Like his performance was table read. And I thought that was perfect. It is so funny to me that Willy Wonka to me is one of the all time crazy characters.

And he plays it so straight. Just like very regular, he goes, hello, I'm Willy Wonka. I would like to open a candy place. Noodle noodle. The question of who is this made for is so funny because it's also like, it's definitely not made for me. Nothing about it speaks to me.

And the person that exists that it is made for is outside of my personal area of knowledge. So it's like, who is this made for? And I feel like sometimes the answer might just be no one. Like it just got like made by committee. Makes $200 million. Yeah, for a person that doesn't exist for a foreign market. Like it's like. Do they still, oh please.

No, no, that's the end of that thought. Do they still do, Ryan, you might best know this. Do they still do like MGM just bought a Keegan-Michael-Key for five movies? I know this, I know this. Do they still do that where it's like, we don't know what we're gonna put you in, but we're paying you for five future movies.

Some sort of overall deal or something like that? Yeah, and then they're like. Netflix does that for Adam Sandler. I know that Adam Sandler has like overall deals. But it feels like a very 1940s show business thing. Yeah, I feel like they'll get you under contract for like a certain amount of movies and you don't necessarily get to say which ones they are.

If they need someone and it's your fifth movie, you kinda gotta do it. We got Humphrey Bogart for the big ship in the sea, and then we got him to do Lady Dances Around in the bonus movie. I feel like what's more common nowadays is the Marvel thing, with like, you'll be doing Captain America

for 11 movies and six theme park openings. They penciled that in, but that's a character that you're playing. I know a couple people that got it for a TV deal, where it's like, CBS paid them some sort of holding deal, like a talent holding deal, so that like you're gonna be on CBS in some way, but then they usually just get paid to not work.

Yeah, yes. They just like didn't need your cast anywhere and you made 200 grand to like not, I want that, but I guess you have to be anything first. Yeah. Yeah. I know that Emily Blunt, when she was doing the press for Jungle Cruise,

she was like, well, this is part of my Mary Poppins deal with Disney. Like she just made it very clear that she would have never like agreed to do Jungle Cruise if it wasn't as part of this like package with Poppins. That's the thing is it feels like we have Timothee Chalamet for five pictures. We already paid him.

Right. The contract is up in six months. And so they're like, uh, uh, quick, everyone. And someone's like young Willy Wonka, and they're like, perfect. Noodle, noodle, yeah. Well, it is like we have these stars floating around, and then we have these movies floating around.

The only things left on the board are these. So we either don't make this movie and all the rights go away, or... Being a Hollywood executive is just kind of like doing a word search and crayon every day. 100%. I found Timothy Chalamet. And Raiden.

We're doing young Raiden. Young Raiden. We're doing Mighty Mouse with the buffest guy on Earth. Shoot, we didn't organize this well. I play to a crowd, but only My brain started Started to do it like a jellyfish thing that was spooky. I play to a crowd, but only one holds my fate I hope they laugh at my jokes or my heads on a plate It's on a plane. I hope they laugh at my joke or my heads on a plate

This one doesn't feel as complicated. It's not like a metaphor. What was the start again? I play to a crowd, but only one holds my fate. I hope they laugh at my jokes. Jester? Court Jester? Yeah. Oh, okay. Court Jester. I almost said Fozzie Bear for some reason. Yeah, he's a court jester.

He's a court jester. They took off his head. You can't eat a bear. Oh. Ryan, do you have a favorite Muppet? I'm not a big Muppet person. I mean, maybe Miss Piggy. She's funny.

Great. Great answer. I heard Ryan say I'm not a big Muppet person, but in my head he's like, I'm not a big Muppet person. I mean maybe Miss Piggy. She's funny. Great. Great answer. I heard Ryan say I'm not a big Muppet person, but in my head he's like I'm not a big Muppet person. I would love to hear it. Totally lying. He's like, I don't really like the Muppets. I know nothing about the Muppets. I do want to see a scene.

Perfect. Ryan, you signed a five picture deal with whoever owns the fucking Muppets. Disney, I guess. Disney. I guess. Disney. And you are placed in this movie with JPC and Aaron and myself and we are in the Muppet world and you are trying to keep your head above water, not knowing much or caring much about the Muppet universe. He's not a Muppet, but we are Muppets. Yeah, it's like a Michael Caine.

Oh, gotcha, gotcha, gotcha, gotcha. Tim Curry. Yeah. Um, Ryan, thanks so much for coming down here to Oklahoma City. We're so thrilled to have you. Thanks for having me in beautiful OKC. Tall dog. Kermit. Oh, sorry, Kermit.

Yeah, of course. Are you are you making fun of him? I feel like you're kind of talking in a condescending tone. No, I didn't mean anything by that. I know tall dog rhymes with short frog and that was just a little joke. I was figuring I might rib the Sesame Street gang. Oh, well, I guess we're not really Sesame Street. Sesame Street are muppets. Hey, Miss Piggy does it, right?

Shut up. Does what? Makes fun of you and... I got my apologies. Well, gang, we only have a couple more days before they get to the end of the show. Shut up does what makes fun of you and I have my apologies Well gang we only have a couple more days before they demolish the community center. Oh, no Ryan. What should we do? I I don't do we build another community center. That's even bigger and even better Talk to us like we're people man Don't look down here.

Our mouths and eyes are up here. Right, right, right. And I don't mean that in like a sexual way. I mean like, does that make sense? Yeah, yeah, talk to the real guy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But also, how would we build a community center when we're so little and our hands can't hold tools?

You're right, you're right. But also talk to us like we're real and we can do stuff. Maybe what we need to do is protest. We chain ourselves to the building, and then the bad guys can't knock it down. We don't really get political. I also see you pulled out a gun. Can we?

I guess I'm just sort of trying to match your energy. And if I'm being honest, I have no idea how Well, yeah, we do have a pretty soft energy. Well gang. What do you think? Yeah, I'm willing to try something new. Yeah. Yeah. I mean I could be convinced Maybe if there's a song about it. Oh, right Yoda when did you start speaking forward? I love it He's been taking classes. Awww!

And we're all so proud of him. Yoda, do you want to sing your song? To remember how to speak forward? Oh yeah, I'll sing my song to remember how to speak forward. Okay. I use the fourss, the words. Throat from my, oh damn it. Oh no, see, he was gonna be in my fucking head. He got my fucking head.

The end of infinity when I see themselves. The wings on a swine when an immortal rings, death's bells. Do very quickly, I do wanna say, if they took Jason Statham and put him with the Muppets, that feels like fun, that feels fun. What's the plot of that then? What classic story are they retelling? That is tough because Muppets don't really do action,

or like, it has to be something serious, because Jason Statham is gonna kill someone, or beat someone up, so that feels tough. Does Dumbo beat somebody up? We could do Dumbo. What if like, you know, someone captures Miss Piggy and Kermit wants to save her, but he gets hurt. And so Jason Statham has to do it the whole time with Kermit on his back, like a backpack.

Like a Yoda backpack. Like a John Wick with Jason Statham holding Kermit on his... Ryan, here's $80 million. I want it on my desk by Monday morning. It sucks that that's actually amazing. Like a Yoda backpack. Like a John Wick with Jason Statham holding Kermit on his arm. Ryan, here's $80 million. I want it on my desk by Monday morning. It sucks that that's actually amazing. I would write that in a weekend for sure. 100%.

Get a little high? A little. Yeah, man. I don't know. Some like Kermit a crime or something. There's some commit Kermit pun in there that you could. Oh, that's good. Or something about, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Fully Kermited. Whoa! Holy shit, that's great. The end of infinity when I see themselves, the wings on a swine, when an immortal rings death's bells. The end of infinity is the letter Y. It's not that, is it?

No, it's where, you're, I, classically in a riddle, it would be something like that. This is sort of annoying, if that helps. When pigs fly, that's like, I'll believe that, when pigs fly. A saying, like, this will never happen, yeah. Yeah. A saying?

This will never happen. Happen, never. Never. Never, infinity, the end of infinity, yes, yes, yes, yes. Oh, the end of infinity is never. You're so smart, you're Never. Infinity. The end of infinity. Yes, yes, yes, yes. Oh, the end of infinity is never. You guys are smart. You guys are very smart.

Listeners, you're lucky. There's smart hosts here. Says the guy who came up with the Kermit. Fully committed? Fully committed? Fully committed. Jason Statham is fully committed. If you are at work right now and you're bored,

make a poster for that. Fully committed. I do feel like there's a scene where Kermit and Statham If you are at work right now and you're bored, make a poster for that. We'll post on Instagram. I do feel like there's a scene where Kermit and Statham both have double-wielded guns and they're spinning. Yeah, like back to back. Absolutely. For sure. It's the two guns poster.

But yeah. What was the? Beam me to that reality. Oh my god. They did like a Dirty Muppets movie, right? Oh, it was Melissa McCarthy? Jason? I don't think so.

What's his name? Right? No. Wait. Dirty Muppets movie, right? Oh, it was Melissa McCarthy? Jason... I don't think so. What's his name? Right, no. No. Wait. They did a Dirty Muppet Cop movie. No, they didn't. Yeah, they did.

What? Yeah, they did. It wasn't actually Muppets, but it was... Jason Segel did a Muppet movie, but did he do the dirty one? Cause there was a Dirty Puppet movie, right? But it wasn't Muppets though. It was not Muppets.

But it was parody, it was cops. You thinking of Crank Yankers? Oh my cops. You think it was Crank Yankers? Oh my God, I'm thinking of Crank Yankers. Once again, I do this once a week. Damn it. I'm always thinking of God damn Crank Yankers. Oversold, under delivered Crank Yankers. Because I just think that, I remember the dirty puppet movie

didn't go over well I don't think. But I think an action puppet movie, even if it was, it doesn't have to be R rated. You could do a P-2-13. The Happy Time Murders is a 2018 adult puppet buddy comedy, black comedy film. It says buddy comedy, black comedy. Directed by Brian Henson, starring Melissa McCarthy.

Yeah. Oh, weird. Yeah, I mean, if you shoot this movie like a Jason Statham movie, but then every five minutes you remind them that it's Kermit, genius. Also to have just like a little tooatham movie, but then every five minutes, you remind them that it's Kermit. Genius. Also to have just like a little too few of Muppets

in the background and in the universe. Like you don't see a Muppet for a while, and then there's a Muppet driving a bus. Like they're not really in it. It's like not a Muppet movie, but it's just in the world where Muppets also exist. And then it's like, oh wait, it is totally a Muppet movie. And I also think that to avoid the higher rating,

you can do a bunch of violence to Muppets. It's like how you can shoot aliens in movies, but you can't shoot people. I think they would rather you stab a person than a Muppet. The ranking is like, actually, if you kill something that a child holds dear, that's worse than killing a child. Double tap Pigs in Space. There will be letters. Double tap.

Do you think you could get, like, make a movie as graphic as John Wick, but with Muppets, like, there's just blood flying everywhere and also, like, Kermit is spinning through in slow motion. That's so funny. You can't be red. The blood has to be, like, blue or brown or something like that. And I think they could invent some really evil-looking Muppets

that are like, oh, these aren't really the muppets we love. Grab the labyrinth muppets from David Bowie. Sweetums is my favorite muppet, but he looks sinister. He's like a, he's a full-size muppet. I don't like him at all. Sweetums? It's my worst nightmare to get a hug from him.

Hey guys, wait for me. Shut up. And he's famously been asking you out, right? Yeah, oh my God, he won't. Stop. Every dating I'm on, he's like, Hey! Wanna grab a drink? How did Sweetums get on Raya?

Cause it's an invite only thing. You don't think Sweetums is on Raya? Well, it's invite. I just wanna know who invited him. He would be on Raya! Of course he's on Raya. I'm just trying to meet a down to earth girl. I got an invite from the Noid. But I only date famous women.

I only date famous women. Also surprisingly on J-Date. I saw Sweetums out with Zendaya. Oh my god. I would love to get a, I've been saying this, I would love to get a Raya invite. Maybe end up with a famous chef, anyway. I'm telling you, Aaron, if you do get a Raya invite,

I do definitely want to see your phone so I can see who's on. I would love to see who's on there. Are you on Raya? No. Surely you've seen on Raya? No. Surely you've seen a Raya account, I'm sure. I have no people who have been on it, but they will not show it to me.

They're like, you're not licensed to look at this. You can get a blacklisted, right? If you screenshot or if you. Blue balls. Blue balls. I think if you share photos or if you screenshot, I think there's something in the app that notifies them if you screenshot or something.

Don't you just have to have like a million followers? Isn't it like a social media thing? Cause they do like a little, you get like an invite, but- You have to be famous or hot. Yeah, but like how famous? Really famous. I heard that the complaint in LA is like, from like people who are actually famous,

they're like, it's a bunch of fucking directors of photography now. It's a bunch of fucking directors of photography now. It's a bunch of like, well off grips. Well off grips. They're rich because they've been working for Ayatzee for 40 years or something like that. Is this a fucking best boy on here? Jesus Christ.

When I search for DP on Riot, that's actually not what I'm looking for. Um, last- I want Sweetums, oh sorry. Oh yeah, I want Sweetums with an oint. Sweetums and the Muppet with the firecracker. What's that? I'm still looking for Miss Piggy.

Oh. Canonically, in the Muppet universe, everyone is infatuated with Miss Piggy. Of course, she's gorgeous. She's beautiful. Gorgeous. Oh, Miss Piggy. Oh, and she's French, I forgot about that.

Jeremy, out of a room, the cuffs off the wrists untangle the rope, all familiar as the lead artist. Sketch artist, the next. Special effects. No. Court house. Lead artist. Out of a room. Is this Chalamet? Out of a room. Yeah, courtroom sketch artist, that's a good guess.

But it is a good guess. Is that close? No, it's a good guess, no. Adel, I feel like this might come to you first. Okay, can you read it one more time? Out of a room, the cuffs off the wrists, untangled the rope, all familiar as the lead artist. Coudini? No.

A magician? You're, meh, we're getting. Escape artist? Oh, escape artist? It's escape. Wow. Oh, it's escape, okay, gotcha, gotcha, gotcha. That makes sense.

Well, Ryan, it means a lot that you came onto our Riddle podcast again. It means a lot that you came onto our Riddle podcast again. It means a lot that you had me here and it doesn't mean anything that I didn't get any of the riddles. Doesn't mean anything. It's fine, doesn't matter to me at all. You solved the greatest riddle of all,

which is how do we shoehorn Jason Statham into the world? Yeah. I mean, this is, I can't believe it hasn't been done yet. It seems like the easiest thing in the world. It truly, even if it never gets made by Disney, it feels like you should write it just to do a table read because it feels like the funniest fucking thing in the world I think the issue with Jason Statham is he's pretty discerning about what projects he selects

He doesn't like just doing kind of movies. You got to call it crank three But then it's muppets. Yeah, it's like crank three working title project He has to inject himself with some sort of endorphin every 20 hours He's got to put clamps on his nipples and then we're off to the races. That's how they got what? That's how they got Bill Murray for Garfield, right? Yeah.

Because they said that it was being directed by Cole Cohen. They called it Drink Through. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They were like, oh, but it was not- Which Cohen? It's not that Cohen. Even if it was just pretty much Shunwick

where they killed Rolf or something, it's like- Not Rolf. Is there another dog in the Muppetverse? No, I'm just saying not, I know that's so sad. Of course it has to be Ralph, because he's the only dog. But poor Ralph just wants to play the piano. Could you do one that's like bigger than Jess Muppets,

that's like any sort of felt puppet? Like I'm thinking of like the McDonald's character. Oh, Grimace. And the Muppets. And you know what I mean, like any sort of- Multiverse of puppets. Yeah, kind of like a Wreck-It Ralph. Yes, but with, that's amazing. A marionette.

Yeah, we can't kill Grimace because no one would care. Everyone would be okay with that. And nobody can kill Grimace. He can't be killed by conventional means. No weapons we have now or can think of can kill him. Nobody say his name for a third time just to be safe, everybody. Let's be...

No! Ah! Did you guys see that meme about the Grimishake and everybody exploding? Great meme happened a while ago. The Grimishake was out. It was a purple milkshake. Disgusting. I think it was blueberry-ish. But people were doing, like, TikToks and memes

of being like, hey, about to try the Grimishake. They would take a sip of it, and then it would just be them, like, lying on the ground dead. Like, if you drink the Grimishake. They'd take a sip of it, and then it would just be them, like, lying on the ground dead. Like, if you drink the Grimishake, you die. And, like, they would also do it where, like, they explode or whatever. And sometimes social media is pretty great. That rules.

It's just for everyone to just decide that it's fine that the Grimishake kills you. Speaking of social media sometimes being great, Ryan, recently, I don't know, maybe the last six months or so, you've had some of the funniest fucking videos I've seen with your drone. Thank you. Where can people check those out?

They can check those out on my Instagram, Chosenberg. That's where those live, and I guess YouTube, but not really, I don't really do that that much. Or you can check out my podcast, a Mandog pod on Instagram and all that stuff. And I just started a new podcast called The Greatest Conversation Ever. Amazing.

It's just stupid conversations with friends. I love it. Yeah, it's gonna be really fun. And I also just listened to you on Yes Also, which you helped produce. Oh yeah, I heard that as well. I produced that as well, yeah. It's like a love letter to improv

by the host Susie Barrett, who's a fantastic comedian and improviser. Just like interviewing old comedians, or all comedians about their like origin story with improv comedy and stuff, kind of like if WTF was for improvisers instead of stand-ups. Hell yeah.

That's awesome. Yeah, yeah. Congrats on everything. Thank you, thank you, thank you. None of it makes money yet, so keep promoting. But Ryan, we've been a big fan of yours since 2018, 2019? It was an immediate connection. As soon as we all met, it was so much fun.

Thank you guys. We're big teachers lounge people, so it's been a fun, long journey to get to enjoy you. You guys are the best, thank you. You can check out, heyridderiddle.com, no, patreon.com slash heyridderiddle, uh-oh, I'm scared. And heyridderiddle.com slash live if you wanna come see our East Coast tour

coming up in a couple weeks. For listeners, Erin is sort of like Myle J. Fox in Back to the Future who's playing guitar. She's sort of translucent. Yeah. There's this picture. There's a picture. It's fading away.

Portugal, baby, 1974. It's definitely Portugal. Check that out. I don't know if you see anything to plug. Is that Russian dirt And our interference is the music Logo created by Emily Cardemus and Emily Nemouris One, two, three, four, hey, Riddle Riddle If you liked that you're gonna love this week's patreon we improvise them scenes using some improv forms from our heyday as Professional improvisers you can listen to that plus our entire back catalog at patreon.com

Such a rental rental by joining the clue crew for five dollars a month or start your seven-day free trial or the review crew For eight dollars a month plus you get those ad-free episodes. See you there That was a head gum podcast