Hey Riddle Riddle - #330: Drone. Bird. Crab

Episode Date: November 13, 2024

But does anyone REALLY go speed dating?Starring:Adal RifaiJohn Patrick CoanErin KeifEditing by: Casey ToneyTheme by: Arne ParrottLogo by: Emily Kardamis & Emmalin...e MorrisWant more? Get Weekly Bonus Eps on Patreon!JPC's Guided Meditations Volume 1, available now at our Patreon digital store!Want merch? Visit our TeePublic Store! or pins, buttons & printsWant to mail us something? Hey Riddle Riddle 6351 W Montrose Ave #267Chicago, IL, 60634Want to leave us a voicemail? Call (805) RIDDLE-1 or (805-743-3531)Want to advertise on the show? Check out Hey Riddle Riddle via Gumball.fmThis episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/RIDDLE and get on your way to being your best self.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 This is a HeadGum Podcast. With the $5 meal deal at McDonald's, you pick a McDouble or a McChicken, then get a small fry, a small drink, and a four-piece McNuggets. That's a lot of McDonald's for not a lot of money. Price and participation may vary for a limited time only. The doctor was the mother. He stood on a block of ice. Hey!
Starting point is 00:00:22 Boiled the Denver Goldfish. It was the eight. He stood on a block of ice. Both of them were goldfish. It was the cabin of an airplane. He stabbed him with an ice cream. And the horse ate Friday. One, two, three, four, eight, nine, ten, twelve, one, two, three, four, eight, nine, ten, twelve, one, two, three, four, eight, nine, ten, twelve, one, two, three, four, eight, little, little, one, two, three, four, eight, little, little, one, two, three, four, eight, little, little, one, two, three, four, eight, little, little, one, two, three, four, eight, little, little, one, two, three, four, eight, little, little, one, two, three, four, eight, little, little, one, two, three, four, eight, little, little, little, one, two, three, four, eight, little, little, little, one, two, three, four, eight, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, littledle, Addle, Aaron, JPZ, et cetera. Sorry, usually we do some sort of scene or some sort of fun thing up top, but today we have a pressing issue, which is Aaron, you mentioned that you had a question about a cookie, so I wanna make sure we clear enough of a landing strip for you to be able to land that plane.
Starting point is 00:01:12 Okay, this is so jarring to have an episode start like this. We were gonna do a really kooky, crazy scene at the beginning. Aaron, don't say cookie, you're just gonna think that you're talking about your cookie question. Well, I actually can't even take credit for this question. Let me lay it out for you. And unfortunately, I'm mentioning another podcast host
Starting point is 00:01:32 in this that is more interesting to listen to than us. I was at a Halloween party with Beth May, who is one of the brightest stars in the podcasting world. Very talented person. You can say she's a host. What? Why are we splitting hairs? It's Beth May.
Starting point is 00:01:50 It's Beth May. It's Beth May. Yeah, so I was like, Beth May, she's a host. I'm like, what does Beth May host? Okay. Well. I think they have like a spin-off podcast
Starting point is 00:02:01 where they talk about like Christian movies. Like maybe she hosts that. Emailing Beth May right now to see if she will guest host Hey Riddleriddle. Do they have like a spin-off podcast where they talk about like Christian movies? Like maybe she hosts that? Emailing Beth May right now to see if she will guest host Hey Ritter Rittle and she said yes She didn't respond. I didn't send that email. I don't want to make fake promises First of all, she was dressed up as Madame Webb at this party and she's walking around with a Pepsi can already that dream scenario I feel like I want an essay. Okay, madam Webb at the end of the movie like what we smug smug madam Well, cuz like madam Webb doesn't have a costume, right? She has that red leather coat and if you suddenly has glasses, yeah. Yeah. Okay, so
Starting point is 00:02:42 She posed the question Like this is a hypothetical of like, well, what would you do hypothetically? So I'm not taking credit for this question, but I'm really into it. You meet the love of your life, checks every box. Everything's perfect, right? Oh, I see where this is going. But you want to know if it's okay to fuck Cookie Monster.
Starting point is 00:03:05 Okay. What if I already did, I'm asking if it's okay, if I fall in love with Cookie Monster after a lot of really great sex, that's my question. Is it okay? It's the kind of sex that you're going to fall in love with them. Okay. I don't know what else to say. He says me want cookie. It's okay. Actually, can you believe everything I'm about to say, but I do want to make a joke about you know, how he Is eating and this is all we believe he's eating
Starting point is 00:03:32 All mouth no throat, yeah, that's what it's like to have sex cookie monster. Thank you so much for believing all of that What was I saying now I'm thinking about I'm so sorry you said a hypothetical question Now I'm thinking about having sex. I'm so sorry. You said a hypothetical question that Bethany posed. Can we get away from this segment before one of us says, meet what cookie? No, it's too late. I think I got it.
Starting point is 00:03:53 You ran right into it. I think I got it under the wire. So the question is, meet the love of your life, everything's perfect, but every time they get stressed out, they turn into a cookie. Anytime they're under any sort of stress, they turn into a cookie. Now this is an interesting question,
Starting point is 00:04:13 because people, depending on what type of person they date, had very different answers. I think that this is an interesting question. What do you guys think? Would that be a deal breaker for you if they turned into a cookie every time they got stressed out? I thought the I thought the question was going to continue in terms of like would you like snack on them?
Starting point is 00:04:30 Or I thought it was going to go in a direction of like kill your partner at all no Well, is it gonna kill them to take one bite like if I take one bite will they come back with like without like a shoulder? Yeah, yeah But the problem with the cookie is you don't know where it ends and begins, right? Like if you take a bite of any edge, that could be the top of their head or the bottom of their feet, right? Yeah, but I feel like you guys are really focusing
Starting point is 00:04:55 on the eating them part and I feel like. But they're a cookie. They're a cookie, Aaron. So maybe if you nibble all the way around the edge, would that make them like an inch shorter? That's a really, Aaron, this is actually a really great question. I can texture. What if a crumb falls off?
Starting point is 00:05:09 Just cause like sometimes cookies like crumb. Like what if just like a crumb falls off? That's not, that's fine. That's fine. That's fine. That's fine. That's like dandruff. Yeah, it's like dandruff. Okay. Dandruff isn't fine by the way.
Starting point is 00:05:20 It's actually a really serious issue that affects millions of it. Just like people in your life that you might know. Like you. No! JPC, I do appreciate that you said, I think what you're going for is that when Cookie Monster orgasms, he says, I think I'm gonna crumb. Do you think this is appropriate?
Starting point is 00:05:37 I'm crumbing! And we're weeping all of this, I assume. Casey, please. Oh, Casey is dead. No. Okay, wait, hold on. Cookie Monster always taps me on the shoulder if he's gonna crumb into my mouth. Somebody made a good point of like, what if you're about to give birth and your partner's driving you to the hospital
Starting point is 00:05:57 and then you look over and there's a cookie in the driver's seat. Oh, yeah, yeah. Aaron, can I ask a question? Yeah. How long do they stay a cookie? Until they calm down. But cookies can't be stressed.
Starting point is 00:06:11 No, that's why. But like, okay, let's say they're a cookie for 40 minutes every time they get stressed. 40 minutes? Yeah. Well, here's the problem though. I don't think if I'm, if I know a person who is like feeling a lot of stress, I don't think it's ever helpful for the stress that you feel to be turned into a cookie for 40 minutes.
Starting point is 00:06:31 So do they come out of that experience feeling absolutely no stress or do they come out of that experience just to stress, but now they've wasted 40 minutes being a cookie? No, the stress is gone from their body. Probably, cause like, let's say your partner's like, I got a really important meeting in 30 minutes. I'm really stressed for it.
Starting point is 00:06:47 Now they're 10 minutes late for the meeting and they're like, easy breezy, man. It really puts things into perspective to be a cookie, doesn't it? So here's a follow-up question. Yep. So say I take my partner who turns into a cookie when stressed, I take them to see,
Starting point is 00:07:02 what was the Safdie Brothers movie with Adam Sandler, with the jewels? Onkajom. Onkajom, thank you. Onkajom. I take my partner to go see Uncut Gems. Within 10 minutes of that movie, stress turns into a cookie. After 40 minutes, turns back into my partner,
Starting point is 00:07:20 do they immediately see 50 minutes into Uncut Gems and turn into a cookie again? Like is this gonna, you know what I'm saying, like is there any amount of like reset? Yeah, it's rolling. Okay, it's rolling, okay. And you know, some people were like, that actually sounds like a peaceful thing for my partner,
Starting point is 00:07:36 but I hear, this was my first question. Does- What kind of cookie? What kind of cookie, no. My first question is, can the cookie hear me? Because if I'm in an argument with my partner and they hurt my feelings. Oh, you're gonna lay into them for 40 minutes
Starting point is 00:07:53 being like, you're gonna listen to everything I gotta say, cookie. No, but that, if, sometimes if someone's hurt someone's feelings, that is a moment of stress. And if you turn into a cookie and you never have to hear about how I feel, just cause you get stressed out by it, then like that's not good in the longterm, you know? So-
Starting point is 00:08:14 No, and I think most situations, it's gonna make a really healthy, productive relationship of a person turns into a cookie every 40 minutes. I would do it. I would meet this love of my life. They'd turn into a cookie the first time they felt stressed and I'd eat the cookie and that would be that. Yeah, if they-
Starting point is 00:08:27 I'm not going to jail for eating a cookie. If they- I just got a free cookie basically. Oh, if you eat the cookie, after 40 minutes in your stomach, does it turn back into like body parts? Yeah. Okay, so they'd catch you.
Starting point is 00:08:38 You're going to jail. I tend to, when I'm stressed, I tend to stress eat. So I think I would say no, because this would be a bad pairing. Because I assume we'd be in a lot of situations, if we're in this together for the long haul, I would assume a lot of situations where they're stressed, I would also be stressed.
Starting point is 00:08:58 It would be a joint stressed effort. So, and I stress eat. So again, I think that's just a bad combo. Okay okay. What would happen if I took the cookie and fed it to a bunch of birds? Would the birds all fly away and then like 40 minutes later just burst with body parts? This is graphic but yes that is exactly what would happen. That's what I would do I want to change my answer. What I think is interesting about this question is when you're talking about it happening to my partner, my partner turning into a cookie
Starting point is 00:09:26 every time they get stressed, then I'm like, that feels a little hard. That would be a hard life. But if you're giving me the option that I turn into a cookie for 40 minutes every time I get stressed, sign me up yesterday. I'm a cookie. Let's fucking go.
Starting point is 00:09:44 Do you think you could probably get disability, right? That's gotta be a disability. For turning into a cookie, a hundo-pee. Yeah, I mean it's not, it would have to be like medically tested or whatever, like they'd have to be like recognized. No, I don't want doctors to know about this. I don't want them poking and prodding at me
Starting point is 00:09:59 and eating me and stuff, leaving me to Santa. Taking chips off of your chocolate. Yeah. But honestly, Erin, if all you want is crumbs, it sounds like there's a loophole where they turn into a cookie, you just shake that song bitch, get as many crumbs as you can onto a piece of paper,
Starting point is 00:10:14 eat those, put those in your mouth. Sure, they turn into dandruff in your stomach 40 minutes later, but who cares? At that point, you already had all those delicious cookie crumbs, and your partner is none the wiser. And yes, we're recording this before the election. Shut the fuck up.
Starting point is 00:10:31 We're everyone doing what they can to get through this week before the election. I saw a TikTok that made me laugh so hard of a guy being like, it has been Halloween in the week before an election for three years. I'm so tired of wearing a costume and not feeling the existential dread of like pre-election time. And I'm like, oh my God, so true. Pre-election can still get you pregnant.
Starting point is 00:10:52 Let's get into some riddles here. I have something new. These are called Thrimes. Ah! Thrimes are gonna be three questions with three answers. And those three answers will all rhyme with one another. Do you guys remember when Thrymes was married to Threelon? Bust.
Starting point is 00:11:09 I remember Bust-a-Thrymes. Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! So here's how these are gonna go. Ah, okay, I'm ready, I'm ready.
Starting point is 00:11:20 No, no, no, hold on. I got Aaron and me with us. GBC, that's one of your, that is, some of your finest work, I'm not, I'm ready. Oh no, no, no, hold on. I got Aaron and me with that. GBC, that's one of your, that is, some of your finest work I'm not even getting. Oh, fuck. Fuck. Right. So here's how these will go.
Starting point is 00:11:35 I'll read the three questions, or the three clues, I guess they are. Clues. And then don't try and answer each one in real time. Wait till I read all three, and then you're gonna give me all three answers. Because I think that's more fun answer each one in real time. Wait till I read all three. And you're gonna give me all three answers. Because I think that's more fun than solving one at a time. Sure.
Starting point is 00:11:49 Of course, if you're stuck, obviously solve one at a time and go from there and that'll, once you get one, you'll be able to help. But this is kind of like only connect, right? And like each one of these is gonna lead to something that rhymes three times, right? Yes, but there's no overall. There's no overall, whatever.
Starting point is 00:12:06 There's not like a meta puzzle or anything. It's just three answers that rhyme. Okay, so for example, to baffle, to rub with the nose, and to restrain from biting, to baffle. Cookie Monster, Cookie Monster during sex. Cookie Monster doing really good sex. Cookie Monster doing really cool sex. Erin Mike, when I rub with the nose?
Starting point is 00:12:28 Where I start to have feelings for him. To baffle, to rub with the nose, to restrain from biting would be puzzle, nuzzle, muzzle. Puzzle, nuzzle, muzzle, okay, gotcha. Puzzle, nuzzle, muzzle, of course. Puzzle means to baffle, nuzzle means to rub with the nose,cha. Puzzle, nuzzle, muzzle, of course. Puzzle means to baffle, nuzzle means to rub with the nose, and muzzle is to restrain from biting.
Starting point is 00:12:48 Okay. Got it? Yeah, got it. Okay. Here we go. This is... Wow, I see you just ripping through these. Are some of these bad?
Starting point is 00:12:58 Are some of these filthy? Some of these are a little nasty. To pawn. Okay. To punch. to converse. Talk. Clock. To pawn, to punch, to converse.
Starting point is 00:13:14 So it would be clock is second, talk to pawn, hawk. Hawk, clock, talk. Clock, talk. You have two of them correct. Wait, oh, okay. Then I'll wait. Hawk, hawk and, no, hawk and talk, talk. You have two of them correct. Wait, oh, okay. Then I'll wait. Hawk, hawk and, no, hawk and talk, no. Hawk, clock, no.
Starting point is 00:13:31 Which ones do we have right? Which ones are right? Hawk, tuah, and talk, tuah. So two punch is the middle one. Yeah. Block. I think you're saying clock like the punch. Sock to sock. Yes. I'd like're saying clock like to punch. Sock to sock. Yes.
Starting point is 00:13:45 Okay. I'd like to pose a question. Sock and clock also rhyme, so clock works. But to punch, if I were to say to punch, I don't think clock would be the obvious, like that's not a go-to, right? If you clock someone or you sock someone, I mean all these are antiquated terms.
Starting point is 00:13:59 Oh, I see, you're still saying, I see what you're saying. Yeah. I thought you were saying to clock in like to punch your time card. But you're saying to clock someone, yeah, you're totally right that is that is a Expression time card. What the fuck I'd like to pose a question. Yes. What were the three words again? talk hawk hawk
Starting point is 00:14:19 H-o-c-k like the hawk. Yeah, there's just for listeners. So Sock and talk. All right, which one of us is hawk? Which one of this just for listeners. So, sock and talk. All right, which one of us is hawk, which one of us is sock, and which one of us is talk? I think JPC is hawk. Okay. Adel strikes me as sock, he's cozy. Yeah, cozy.
Starting point is 00:14:37 And I'm talk? Yeah. Oh, okay. Interesting. Hockety sockety talk. The mouse, the clock. Uh, here we go, here's the next one. This is, and this is one of the harder ones, so maybe...
Starting point is 00:14:51 Oh, let's do it now, we got this. One, mix, and Chris. Chris spelled K-R-I-S-S. One, mix, and Chris. Is a Chris a knife? Um, possibly, but in this situation it is not K R I SS okay so let me let me help you a little bit if you have one of something you would say you have a single yes now mix and Chris. Mingle. Yes? Single mingle... Shingle.
Starting point is 00:15:27 Kringle. Yes. Chris Kringle. Single mingle kringle. I do want to see a scene. Okay. Um... I think I already know what this is going to be.
Starting point is 00:15:35 I don't even think I need to hear him say what the scene is. I think I know what the scene is. Do you ever feel like that, Aaron? Yeah. Like you know what it's going to be? Mm-hmm. The only question is do we wanna see Aaron as Santa or JPC as Uncle Santa?
Starting point is 00:15:47 Well. Neither. Oh, sorry, is that not an option? We'll see. JPC is regular Santa and you are at a speed dating event. Aaron, you and I will play all the people he speed dates for as long as we see this. And Aaron will have you be the first first date
Starting point is 00:16:08 Hi, I'm Elliott so nice to meet you. Oh Nice to meet you Elliott. I am what? Ho-ho-ho nice to meet you Elliott. I'm I'm saying Ellie And did you what Ellie I called you Elliott? I thought you said Elliott. I said Ellie. Oh Women can be Elliot's now. Ding. Ho, ho, ho, I'm Santa, nice to meet you. Hi, I'm Veronica.
Starting point is 00:16:33 I like to write. I like to go to the theater. What are your hobbies? Veronica, Veronica, hold, give me one second. Okay, naughty, we're in play. What is it, what, excuse me? I'm Okay, naughty, we're in play. What is it, what? Excuse me? I'm sorry?
Starting point is 00:16:47 What was that list you just pulled out? Oh, just consulting, you know, a list, just a list. People are allowed to have lists. Ding. Ho ho ho, I'm Santa, nice to meet you. Hi, I'm Heather, it's so nice to meet you. First time at one of these things, I should say. Oh, yeah, same.
Starting point is 00:17:06 Uh, I'm so proud of us for getting out there. Good for us. Yes. Um, what are you writing? Also, are you drinking milk? Uh, yes. Is this a white question? No, it's milk. Would you like a sip?
Starting point is 00:17:19 I have cookies here as well. These are for the table. Has anyone seen my wife? Has anyone seen my wife? She got stressed. Why is your wife at a singles event? She said she got stressed and she was gonna leave. Ah, well, crunch, crunch, crunch. Nothing to be done about that. Ding! Hi.
Starting point is 00:17:37 Ho, ho, ho, I'm Santa, nice to meet you. Veronica again. I was just curious. Oh, good. Round two. That list you had that said I was naughty, does it go into further detail? Does it say kinks or? Yeah, not on the list. Hold on.
Starting point is 00:17:54 If I get on my phone and I open up the tab and I click the hyperlink on Veronica, naughty. Oh, arson. Oh boy. Not really the kind of naughty that I was looking for. Ding! Ho, ho, ho, I'm Santa, nice to meet you. Hi, Heather again, sorry I just- Oh, there's like three people at this fucking thing.
Starting point is 00:18:14 I saw people were looping back around to you and it made you sort of feel like a hot commodity to me. I wanted to come back over and- Who are the other guys? Santa's striking out. It looks here left and right, it's like- your buddy I am inspector Calhoun have you seen this woman Veronica Williams we're looking for her she wanted for burning down for factories yeah she was right there man oh can I grab her do I have to wait for
Starting point is 00:18:44 the ding or no you'll have to wait for the ding or no? You have to wait for the ding but you sure you want to wait for my ding Oh, I'll be in the restroom, but about five minutes good. We're shutting down the whole event Dollars back That smoke I want my $7 back. Is that smoke? Is that smoke? I want my $7 back. I do like Santa screaming, people could have lists. There is like, the idea, I'm not really sure
Starting point is 00:19:19 how prevalent like speed dating is, is a thing. I don't think I've ever, do you guys know that you've ever known someone that have done a speed dating thing? I don't think I've ever, do you guys know that you've ever known someone that has done a speed dating thing? I'm gonna see if there's, if it exists. I know that it exists like in the context of like a movie or something like that, but.
Starting point is 00:19:33 Yeah. I saw. Oh, there's one today in Los Angeles. Whoa. Okay, that makes sense. I saw, there's a TV show called Love on the Spectrum. And they, I feel like two, there's an Australian version and a US version.
Starting point is 00:19:47 I think both versions have done speed dating. So I feel like it is a thing for sure. I do feel for the people out there who are dating and engaged in it. Cause it does seem like an awful prospect of like meeting people organically in the world, just because of the world that we live in that is so like, you know, online and that's where connections happen.
Starting point is 00:20:08 It does seem very much a bummer. But if you gotta go speed dating, go for it, man. I think there's probably some people there that are interested in dating. You know, there's a bar that I go to sometimes. I've been there a couple times for different birthday parties that have a speed dating event that's coming up should I go?
Starting point is 00:20:26 Erin showing up at the bar being like happy birthday Melissa I guess I'm the first one here oh speed dating! Oh weird! Spe-ed-ee-ading, spe-ed-ee-ading, spe-ed-ee-ading Oh that's a curious couple of words together I'll try it I'll try this I don't see a reason Takes off shirt, sits in bra orders and milk So we're saying that Santa wasn't a short a shirt no shirt and a bra
Starting point is 00:21:00 Now Aaron would you be willing for say a review crew in the future when we're all in LA maybe or you're in Chicago We do a review crew where we review speed dating, but it's you speed dating and then JPC and I are sit on either side of you for the whole process and you just say like, these are my dads or these are my uncles or something. You guys, that would be so funny and so vulnerable. You would see me at my absolute worst, which is me on a date. I would love to do that,
Starting point is 00:21:21 because the speed dating people would be like, obviously you're not allowed to have two men sit with you. I'm like, oh, so you have a problem with two gay men having an adult daughter. You're disgusting. You're filth. You guys were getting kicked out so fast and then demanding our seven dollars back. This was a free event. Seven dollars each. Disgusting. A 35 year old gay man can't have a 33 year old daughter.
Starting point is 00:21:43 Disgusting. Disgusting. And I'm 36 now probably at the time. Well, I will be at the time, because a 35 year old man should not have a 33 year old daughter. Yeah, that would be weird. Yeah, that's really weird. Here's your three clues. Unless.
Starting point is 00:21:58 Erin, can I adopt you? Yeah, oh my God, do you think we could? God forbid anything happens to your parents, and Jamie, if if you're listening do not say a word to them about this God forbid but also Jimmy you keep this shit to yourself Jimmy if you are listening if you are listening and something does happen. I will walk you down the aisle I know that's not typically the bride's parents job Jimmy, but I'll do it. I'll do it for you You guys it doesn't even have to be with Molly, right? He's dating Molly.
Starting point is 00:22:27 Yeah, it could be with whoever you end up with, Jimmy, the offer stands. I'll walk you down the aisle, man. That's so funny. God forbid, Eric. He would be honored by that. And when we're adults, people get up there in age. Parents do eventually pass away.
Starting point is 00:22:40 So you're saying if something happened to my parents, in this assumption. I'll go through the process. You. I'll do the work. Jimmy, so you think my parents are gonna watch, walk Jimmy down the aisle as it stands right now? Right now as it stands. Your parents will give Jimmy to Molly.
Starting point is 00:22:57 Can I tell you guys this, something earnest, but I would say if anything were to happen to people in my family, I would have maybe one of you guys or both of you walk me down the aisle. Wow. And that's a sweet thing to say. And I know this podcast is about being garbage and treating each other like garbage,
Starting point is 00:23:14 but it would mean a lot to me. Aaron, can we wear a fun costume? As well. Yeah, yeah, you can wear a fun costume For two cookie monsters So then you're walking me down the aisle the cookie monster two cookie monsters walking me to a cookie monster What am I warning heaven? Be what tissue be what tissue for my daughter's wedding. We know why you want the tissue, Cookie Monster. Get out of here. Yeah, you pervert.
Starting point is 00:23:46 I'm gonna go nookie in the bath. Gonna go crum in that tissue. I'm gonna go crum. GPC, are you working on my dowry? The last time we checked, you guys were gonna write a dowry for me. Yeah, I'm breeding the goats right now. So right now I've got two goats.
Starting point is 00:23:59 I don't wanna know. I don't wanna know. Aaron, they're going at it. But I don't think, just so everyone's clear, I don't think that these goats are gonna be able to get pregnant by fucking them each other I I'm trying my best to help the goats along by kind of encouraging them with my hand And lightly on top of their But nothing that I'm doing right now is getting them to that point.
Starting point is 00:24:26 I want to see if I can get one through. Oh, Aaron, I just got word you're fired from SNL. Yeah, that's fine. They're pre firing me. At this point, we're just like gobbling turkeys. You certainly are. You are. You are. Come.
Starting point is 00:24:48 It just echoes across the canyon, that is this podcast. Come, come, come, come. Okay, Addle, more of these, please. I just wanna quickly say, it's better, Aaron, for your parents to give Jimmy to Molly than for your parents to give Molly to Jimmy. Because if Jimmy took Molly, the wedding is ruined. He's on his back staring at the ceiling.
Starting point is 00:25:10 Oh my God, I really do hope they get married. I'm scared they won't. They will, they will. You say you're scared they won't? Yeah, it would make me really sad if they didn't end up getting married. Well, you know what? If they're not right for each other,
Starting point is 00:25:24 I hope they don't get married. I hope that they only get married under ideal circumstances. Jimmy, if you're listening to this, this has to be one of the weirdest experiences this podcast. I hope to fucking God that they're on like a long road trip right now and they can't turn it off. This is so awkward, yeah, something's stuck.
Starting point is 00:25:41 Jimmy keeps hitting fast forward 30 seconds and we're still talking. Or he's like, should we stop and get gas or something? Or do you want to put on a song? I'm going to fall asleep if we don't hear music. We start talking about Aaron's parents dying and Jimmy marrying Molly. They're on a long road trip. He hits 30 seconds four times.
Starting point is 00:25:57 He just hears Aaron go, come. They're clawing at the car door handles, being like, get us out. They want to roll out of a moving car. Pan out to see that your mom and dad are in the back seat of the car on the road trip. Okay, we have to move on. Yeah, here's your three clues. From what and to what?
Starting point is 00:26:19 Guys, what is this? From what to who, to why? I'm sorry, keep going Adol, I'm sorry. From Justin to Kelly. Here's your three clues. Talkative, grouchy, lacking firmness. These all sound like Sesame Street characters as well. Mean.
Starting point is 00:26:36 A limp, a simp, and a wimp. You're all three. Those are great. That's not what I have here, but I do like those three. Talkative, grouchy, lacking firmness. Um, what's lacking firmness? Soft? Um, what is soft rhyme with though? So it's not soft. It's a longer word. And I'll say,
Starting point is 00:26:59 it was a longer, longer word and it means lacking firmness. Yeah. Let me go with, let me go with. Althinte. Let me go with the first clue here. So talkative, the word you're looking for is like. Your hint is. Verbose. That's a good one. That's not what I have here.
Starting point is 00:27:18 Gabby. That is correct. Oh, Gabby. And then grouchy and lacking firmness. Crabby. Yep. And flabby. Flabby grouchy and lacking firmness. Crabby? Yep. And flabby? Yes. Lacking firmness. I'm flabby and you're both crabby.
Starting point is 00:27:32 Crabby, crabby, and flabby. I'm looking at my waveform and there's no way that I'm not Gabby. I think I'm screaming. I'm looking at my waveform and I think I'm very loud. That is such a vulnerable moment when you're recording a podcast and you look at your waveform and you're like, uh-oh, there's been a lot of me in the last 15 minutes,
Starting point is 00:27:55 maybe pulled back. Here's your next thrim. The whole family, naked and unrefined The whole family naked and unrefined I think naked it's probably the easiest then unrefined there no The whole family naked naked like honest and and I think the whole family. I think the answer to this one is a David Cronenberg movie. The birds.
Starting point is 00:28:31 That's Hitchcock. OK, fuck. The whole family naked and unrefined. Again, naked, I think is the easiest. So what are some words for naked? Someone said bear, which is a great guess, but not not this one. Not that close not this one. Unclothed. Yeah I was gonna say unclothed but like that's like that's just like a
Starting point is 00:28:49 un you know. It's not that it's a it's a one syllable word. This is a type of beach. Oh nude. Yes. Nude crude for unrefined. Yes, and then the whole family. Slide in the family stone? Yes, the answer is slide in the family stone, nude and crude. It is brood, nude, crude. Okay, okay, yeah. Nude was the easiest one to get. You are correct about that.
Starting point is 00:29:21 I do wanna see a scene. Woohoo. Did you say with who or woohoo? Both. Erin's just looking at the cast list, hoping she sees her name on it. OK, looking at the where's my name, where's my name, where's my name, where's my name. Dead body number three.
Starting point is 00:29:37 Dang. I do want to see a scene. The two of you are at a nude beach separately You run into each other and you happen to be Like old friends from high school and you haven't seen each other in quite some time. Gotcha Morning oh, oh Oh my. Mr. Anderson? Teacher on the beach I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I had to I had to
Starting point is 00:30:15 Teacher on the beach teacher on the beach a small town girl meets her teacher on a nude beach. I don't think Well, okay. I mean obviously this is you know, post school everyone's an adult you're at a nude beach? I don't think. Well, OK, I mean, obviously this is post-school. Everyone's an adult. You're at a nude beach. But. Post-school cannot get you printed? Still? I don't know. Can't get you printed?
Starting point is 00:30:32 I don't know that there would be a more embarrassing place to see. I was like, if you saw your old teacher at a strip club while you were there, that's embarrassing. But you're not the one naked. If it's actually you. But I guess if you're the type of person who's gonna go to a nude beach, which I don't think I would ever do,
Starting point is 00:30:49 you've gotta be the type of person who's just like very comfortable being naked, right? Yeah. I feel like it's more embarrassing to see a teacher, if I ran into like a former teacher, like in all these, that's more embarrassing to me. For them to see like what's in my shopping cart, like how I live, Interesting. is more embarrassing than For them to see what's in my shopping cart, like how I live,
Starting point is 00:31:05 is more embarrassing than for them to see my naked body. You know what? This is funny because I've heard a lot of people, like not insignificant portion of people, talk about grocery store anxiety of people judging them for what's in their cart. That is so foreign to me that I've never, I don't think I
Starting point is 00:31:25 ran into a friend at the grocery store the other day and They were buying they didn't have a cart They were like buying stuff to make tacos and I was looking at my cart and my cart looked insane But also I have a baby who's like eating solid foods now and I'm like, I don't know what the I'm like just going down The aisles being like what can I fucking put in a baby's mouth? Like I don't know So my cart was an eclectic mix of things, but I didn't really have any anxiety about it. I was just like, oh, it's funny.
Starting point is 00:31:50 Like it looks like I have a crazy person shopping. And how was it? Erin, do you have grocery cart anxiety? I have a little bit of grocery cart anxiety. I don't really like being perceived in general. And that would happen a good amount in Chicago that I would run into people grocery shopping because I lived in a neighborhood
Starting point is 00:32:07 with a bunch of improvisers. And I always felt a little judged by like the lack of a nutritious value that was in my cart. It was like never produce. It was like little sad, sad cans of whipped cream. Here's the thing though. I always hit produce on the way out because I like putting produce on the top of my cart.
Starting point is 00:32:26 So unless you're in the checkout line, my move would be like, hey, also do you know where like all the apples are? Because I'm looking at my cart and I'm like, apples is definitely on the list. Whoa, whoa, whoa, where are the apples? Are they in this aisle? The candy aisle?
Starting point is 00:32:41 I think they thought they were here. This is apple candy. I guess I could kind of refine this later to get the apples out. If I get a couple of bags of apple candy. They soak these in water, they become apples. I don't think there's apples. Those are mini Snickers. I don't think they have apples in them.
Starting point is 00:32:56 It's like, wow, apples are a component, parts of everything's atoms. Everything's atoms. That's a great excuse. When you're starting to say, well, everything's atoms, you're really up a creek without a paddle. You've lost the plot of your argument. That is a dead body. A dead body and a live body have the same number of atoms.
Starting point is 00:33:16 I mean, there's no chemical difference. It's all atoms. Yeah. Cookie Monster Puppet went missing, and it's in the bed with me. But we're all atoms at the end of the day. No. Let's do one more here before break.
Starting point is 00:33:32 On a cosmic scale, I didn't fuck Cookie Monster. On a cosmic scale. Wait, really quick before the break, can I just say, can we leave this episode up for like six days and then delete it? Because I really would love to work with the Henson company one day.
Starting point is 00:33:48 It truly would be the honor of a lifetime. It is my dream of dreams to work with the Muppets. It's the last thing on my comedy bucket list. So everyone just be cool about this episode, OK? Everyone just shut up about it. I have a pitch, Erin. Is there a property that you never want to work with? Probably Hayford Ornil. Well, yeah. No, no no no no I love it here. I love the power Rangers. You don't you never want to do the power rangers, right?
Starting point is 00:34:11 No, okay, well fuck I don't give any properties. No. Yeah, I fuck you power Rangers Okay, Aaron. We just get you clean saying pink Ranger pink Ranger Great Casey just go ahead and whenever Aaron or any of us said Cookie Monster in this episode, just go ahead and edit her saying Pink Ranger in and then we're good, right? Pink Ranger. Yeah, we'll get a couple different takes.
Starting point is 00:34:32 So yeah, when the Pink Ranger orgasms, she says, I'm going to crumb. OK, so yeah, this all still works. It works. I hope it all still works. It tracks. Now, can we make merch with a Pink Rangeranger with a double this is I'm gonna crow does that
Starting point is 00:34:51 Appeal atoms man. We're all Adam does that appeal to anyone? Yeah, I'd wear one I'd wear a sweater and when I take off my sweater, it's a it's the shirt with the same design It's a 24-hour flash sale because these are getting taken down. They will not be fulfilling these orders in 24 hours I think it'll be up for six minutes Every break tea public it will people be ordering so many in today's news Pink Ranger shirt saying I'm gonna crumb has broken the Internet Pink Ranger shirt saying I'm gonna crumb has broken the internet
Starting point is 00:35:32 All right, this is something one more one more one more before break here we go a type of necklace a fireplace tool a playing card choker poker choker Wow Let's take a break and we'll be right back with more Hey Riddle Riddle. More Hey Riddle Riddle. Rode a bone. This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Hey Addle, hey Aaron, I got a bone to pick with the two of you. Of course you do.
Starting point is 00:36:03 Okay, let's go ahead. I... You two... Sometimes you two do... Uh-oh. Aaron, he does not have a bone. No, no, no. I do have a...
Starting point is 00:36:14 You don't have a bone. Oh my god, this is so embarrassing, JPC. I have a bone to pick with myself. I just haven't really been my best lately, and I... I guess I just don't know what to do. Better help? Have you heard of better help JPC? Better help?
Starting point is 00:36:30 Better help? It's online therapy designed to be convenient, flexible and suited to my schedule. Better help? I know and it's sometimes hard to remind ourselves that we're trying to make our best to make sense of everything in this crazy world but it's not easy JPC. Sometimes you wake up and you don't have a bone to pick when you want to, you know? All you have to do, JPC, with BetterHelp, is fill out a brief questionnaire
Starting point is 00:36:52 to get matched with a licensed therapist, and you can switch therapists at any time for no additional charge. I've been using BetterHelp, and guess what, JPC? What? It helps a lot. It could help you. I mean, I do like online therapy.
Starting point is 00:37:07 I do like being able to email my therapist when I have a conflict or be able to stay at home while I'm doing my therapy. So I don't have to drive all the way to an office and get into a big confrontation with a guy in the parking lot, which is why I don't go to that parking lot anymore. Oh yeah, you've had 10 to 12 bone depicts in the parking lot, right? You can't go go to that parking lot anymore. Oh yeah, you've had 10 to 12 bone depicts
Starting point is 00:37:25 in the parking lot, right? You can't go back to that parking lot? Maybe that's why I have to go back, to get my bone depicts back. And I know we're doing an ad for something and we keep saying it's gonna help you get your bone depicts back, and I don't want you to read it too much.
Starting point is 00:37:35 But you get it in the context of JPC, you understand who JPC is. You understand what that is. He is a person that that is connected to his mojo and his sense of self. Let the gratitude flow with BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com slash riddle today to get 10% off your first month. That's BetterHelp, H-E-L-P dot com slash Riddle.
Starting point is 00:37:53 This podcast is sponsored by Squarespace. Oh, um, hey guys, thank you for showing up to the party, but, um, you two were the only people that showed up, so we have to, we have to cancel up to the party, but you two were the only people that showed up, so we have to cancel, yeah. Oh, um. Yeah, we can't do like a four square party with three people, just, it doesn't work. And I don't have a ball, and I don't have any chalk.
Starting point is 00:38:15 Yeah. Hmm. Yeah. Well, we could sort of put out a signal boost this, maybe make a website or something to see if anybody in the area who wants to play four square. Have you heard of, speaking of fourare, have you heard of Squarespace? Squarespace, isn't that the all-in-one website platform for entrepreneurs to stand out and
Starting point is 00:38:32 succeed online? Whether you're just starting out or managing a growing brand, Squarespace makes it easy to create a beautiful website, engage with your audience, and sell anything from products to content to time all in one place, all in your terms. You got it, buddy. Yeah, you knew that surprisingly well. Speaking of selling content, Squarespace makes it easy to sell access to content on your websites,
Starting point is 00:38:49 like online courses, blogs, videos, and memberships. Earn reoccurring revenue by gating your content behind a paywall. Simply set the price and choose whether to charge a one-time fee or a subscription for access. Okay, I'm making a website right now. It's called foursquarerandofinder.com. And basically it just helps you find a fourth for Foursquare.
Starting point is 00:39:08 Yeah, I wouldn't do rando. Actually with Squarespace, you can connect to your social and multimedia accounts so that it's maybe people you know, at least somewhat, if not close friends. Connect major social and multimedia accounts to your website in a few clicks as icons, direct links, or embedded feeds.
Starting point is 00:39:24 Build visitor trust while updating content only where you need it, extending your brand's footprint. Okay, I just set up a new Spage. Spage? Oh, a square page. Okay, I just set up a new Spage, a square page, on JPC, hold on, no, I called it foursquarerandofinder.com, and it's for donations.
Starting point is 00:39:44 You can raise funds for the cause you love with a website that makes accepting donations and managing donors easy. Set up giving pages easily and start accepting donations online right away. Access donor contact information and donation history in a central dashboard and then send fundraising emails directly through Squarespace. Right now we're raising money for people who don't have any chalk and who don't have any balls. Amazing.
Starting point is 00:40:04 Yeah, it's really meaningful. who don't have any chalk and who don't have any balls. Amazing. Aw. Yeah, it's really meaningful. Head to squarespace.com for a free trial and when you're ready to launch, squarespace.com slash riddle to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Guys, I found a fourth, I found a fourth. He's actually gonna be here right now.
Starting point is 00:40:20 Oh ho ho ho. Oh, Uncle Santa. It's Uncle Santa! Shut the door. Toggle, toggle, toggle. Lock, lock, lock. Buddy has chalk. With Audible, there's more to imagine when you listen. Whether you listen to stories, motivation, expert advice,
Starting point is 00:40:36 any genre you love, you can be inspired to imagine new worlds, new possibilities, new ways of thinking. And Audible makes it easy to be inspired and entertained as a part of your everyday routine without needing to set aside extra time. As an Audible member, you choose one title a month to keep from their ever-growing catalogue. Explore themes of friendship, loss, and hope
Starting point is 00:40:58 with Remarkably Bright Creatures by Shelby van Pelt. Find what piques your imagination. Sign up for a free 30-day Audible trial and your first audiobook is free. Visit audible.ca to sign up. Happy birthday to Erin. Oh my gosh. Happy birthday to Erin. What the fuck? Hold on. Erin oh my gosh Embarrassing because it's actually someone else's birthday and they're here and now you're singing to me whose birthday is later this week and when You should go to them who you singing to who's birthday get out from behind that curtain. What are you Polonius? What is this guy? Hey?
Starting point is 00:41:40 Who is this guy? Hey, come here. It's Sandy. It's the Wizard of Oz. Sandy? Hello, I'm old, I'm so old. Oh, he's in Mrs. Doubtfire makeup. Yep. Hello.
Starting point is 00:41:51 Hello. I'm going to drive by fruiting. Sandy's got his own home life thing going on, so we're not going to pry too deep into why he's in the Mrs. Doubtfire outfit. I'm dangerously close to crossing the Wilford-Brimley line, I'll just tell you that. Wow.
Starting point is 00:42:11 Those are the two neighbors that hate each other. Sandy, or should I say Mrs. Sandfire. Wilford and Bremley, yeah. Oh, the two old Muppets, right. Do you have? It wasn't half bad, it was all bad. Do you have, for your birthday, do you have any gifts for us?
Starting point is 00:42:26 Ooh, gifts, gifts, gifts. Presents! In your world, in my world, I get presents. Did you bring any puzzles for me is the question. Ooh, fresh out. No, you didn't. Turns my pockets inside out, butterfly flies out. Butterfly?
Starting point is 00:42:39 Not a moth, interesting. The tides are turning. The world is healing. Oh, my god. Puzzle. Puzzle. The tides are turning. The world is healing. Possibly. Yeah, I might have something for you guys. Since it's my birthday, I actually do, like, as a hobby, or as a tradition on my birthday to give out puzzles to my friends. I consider you guys my friends.
Starting point is 00:43:00 So let's see if that's sustained after this segment. I have a question for you. It seems like the more we learn about your life, the more puzzles are just like a huge part of your life. Have you ever tried to eat a puzzle? Sure. I mean, I had puzzles made out of chocolate. There was a puzzle at the MIT Mystery Hunt once. Okay, so there's a puzzle about, there's a puzzle about the number two, like number two pencils, and you solved it, and often in the MIT Mystery Hunt, most of the time you call it an answer and it's done.
Starting point is 00:43:38 But sometimes you call it an answer and the response you get is, come to HQ and pick up a thing to continue this puzzle. Like you get a physical object. So for this puzzle, we went, we said, you know, okay, come to HQ and pick up a thing. So we went there, we came back and it was, remember the theme of the puzzle was the number two. It was a full baby diaper. It was a baby diaper that was full of what seemed like poop. Now, can I ask you? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:44:07 When you say what seemed like poop, what sense did you have that it was poop? Was it a smell-based sense? I'll tell you. I'll tell you. I ate it. The exact answer to the original question is I sat, we opened it up and inside was poop and inside the poop was some more pieces of puzzle and people started solving them and I was like, this is not poop. Clearly this is going to be something edible or else
Starting point is 00:44:28 they wouldn't give it to us. I had some and it was, it was great. It was terrible, but it was, it was edible. It was edible chocolate. So there's a picture of me out there. Let's be clear. You could eat poop. Oh, the world is not healing. I spoke too soon. Sorry guys. Sorry. I jumped the gun. I don't know if I want to co-sign that. Cool, so Sandy ate baby shit. What else is going on? Do you have any games for us? I was asked, I was asked by JPC, have I ever eaten a puzzle?
Starting point is 00:44:55 Oh brother. I'm ready to do some word puzzles. I'm in the mood now after all of this. What I said was has anyone ever eaten baby shit? Because I of course have. I mean, I've had a baby for a year now. I'll pay everyone $20 to move on. Deal, deal.
Starting point is 00:45:10 That's all I wanted. Just, it was a bribe. All right, here's what I have for you. The game today is spoonerisms. You know spoonerisms? Yes. Yeah. Yeah, it's created by Shel Silverstein, I believe. Does anyone have a favorite spoonerism?
Starting point is 00:45:25 Tigglebitties. Mine is Shake a Tit. Wow, we're continuing on theme. Oh, brother. It's kind of logical. Yeah. Spoonerisms are when you have two phrases and you swap the first sounds of each, or two words in a phrase,
Starting point is 00:45:43 and you swap the two sounds to make a new phrase or it doesn't have to be two words, it could be multiple words as long as you swap two sounds to get a new sensible phrase. So what I've done here is I've taken names of popular movies, spoonerized them and then I've written the clues for the spoonerized versions. So you have to tell me what the real version is.
Starting point is 00:46:05 So if I said, and I'll also tell you the year the movie came out. So if I said, this movie is about a prohibition on floor coverings and the year is 1989, you'd say, well, floor coverings are called carpets or they're called rugs or they're called mats. And a prohibition is a, another word for prohibition is a ban.
Starting point is 00:46:30 Ban. So a mat ban would be a spoonerism for Batman, which is a movie that came out in 1989. Okay. Also 1966 and 2022. It's possible I could get one of these maybe. I have faith in you. Thank you.
Starting point is 00:46:47 Are you ready? Air is just going to blur, Cark Denyte at some point. Yep. My favorite of the Batman. The Christian Bale movie, Cark Denyte. See, I knew what he was talking about. I'm going to get one of these. She's going to get one.
Starting point is 00:47:01 I'm going to get one. All right, here's your first clue. The cozy corner inside of a ship. The cozy corner inside a ship. 2004 is the name of the year the movie came out. Cozy corner. The cozy corner inside a ship. So boat might be part of it.
Starting point is 00:47:20 Yeah. What's a cozy corner? Cozy corner? Nook. Nook. Ooh, nook. Nook? Who nook? Nook, boat? Nook, book. Boat nook.
Starting point is 00:47:28 The notebook. The notebook. The notebook. That's it, the notebook. And if only I had 10 more seconds, I would've gotten here by myself. But I didn't and they got it on, now I feel bad.
Starting point is 00:47:38 I'm fine. I'm actually fine over here. Now I feel bad? Hold on, Erin, what was the alert? Now I feel bad? I'm actually okay over here, I have to go. I actually do have to go, I do have to take this phone call hello
Starting point is 00:47:45 Anyone else perfect air just picked a big thing of kombucha it looks like or is that Pedialyte? It's my chicken. That's me. Oh, yeah Hello everybody all right go ahead. Oh, I've never seen a non-baby drink that but You've seen me drink it a lot. I've been drinking this for years I consider you baby, Aaron baby. Wait, didn't we have a long discussion where I said Peliolite is for babies and both of you said no it's not?
Starting point is 00:48:13 Not anymore. Not anymore. It's for Aaron. Not anymore. Okay, I wanna do another one. You're misremembering. Okay, let's get another one going. 2015 movie about an arduous hike in a downpour.
Starting point is 00:48:27 Hmm, okay, so. 2015? My, 2015. Do I am might be part of it? Storm, rain, arduous hike would be like a. Trek? Trek? Trek?
Starting point is 00:48:36 Trek. Slog. Slog, trek, Captain Slog, Star Trek, hike, arduous hike. Trainwreck. Oh, nice one. Log, Star Trek, hike, uh, arduous hike. Train wreck. Ooh, nice one. Explain it to us. It is, it is rain track, train wreck. Train wreck, rain track.
Starting point is 00:48:57 I like how you guys got there and then walked away from there. Well, I was still there because I, but then you said 2015 and 2015 was what sent shit for me. Cause I was like, that was a pre-Trump movie, everyone was feeling different. LeBron was acting. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Is it in that movie?
Starting point is 00:49:15 Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Yeah, because I think it's, is it set in Cleveland maybe? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right, that was back when LeBron was in Cleveland too. Crazy. Wow. Crazy to think back about how far we could get.
Starting point is 00:49:29 Go on. Crazy, crazy to think about what happens. Okay. Let's go back to 1988 this time. About a movie about the pine tree state took off. That's the tagline. The pines. Is that Oregon or Washington?
Starting point is 00:49:49 Which one's the pine tree? It is neither. The pine tree state took off. Oh, neither. I will say Die Hard because that came out in 1988. That's the final answer. High dard. High dard.
Starting point is 00:50:02 Oh, Game of Thrones. Main. Game of Thrones? It took off. Or. Took off. I took off. Run. Pass it.
Starting point is 00:50:11 Run. Took off. Sprint. Ran. Pass. Yep. Okay, hold. Nobody say it.
Starting point is 00:50:19 I swear to God I have to get one. Okay, hold on. I'm about. Rain Man. It's Rain Man. It's definitely, definitely, definitely Rain Man. Definitely Rain Man. I keep saying. It's Rain Man. Hey! It's definitely, definitely, definitely Rain Man. Definitely Rain Man. I keep saying, it's like the 20th time I've said
Starting point is 00:50:31 I need a sound effects machine with an air horn and a bell. So just- Hot water burn baby! Here we go. Ding, ding, ding, ding! Hot water burn baby. It is crazy to watch Erin, the way that she reacts to getting one right. She's just, she's off in her own world.
Starting point is 00:50:47 That tuckered me out, y'all. I'm baby Erin needs a nap. Here, what do I have for you? I have. This is way too long. Yeah, super long. That was great. All right, here's another one.
Starting point is 00:51:01 Yeah, super long. It's super long. That was great. All right, here's another one. 1997, rubs on the head with Knuckles and then takes some nibbles. Noogie Bites. Knuckles is Sonic's friend. Doogie Houser, wow.
Starting point is 00:51:16 Wow, you got that right off the bat. Boogie Nights. Wow, he got Noogie Bites that quickly. Noogie Bites, like little, little noogie bites like little little noogies like No, just you keep in the freezer and warm up in the microwave and then eat it midnight God this sucks. Oh, that's me from the past Okay, all right here we go try guess I said boogie night, okay, okay This is no music No music played?
Starting point is 00:51:45 No, I was gonna do something. No, I was gonna do nothing. You want another one? Please. Yeah, please. An aquatic bird just may do it. 2016. Duck, possibly. This is Tuck, Everlasting.
Starting point is 00:52:01 Is it duck? Is it penguin? Is it swan? No, it's not any of those. It's an aquatic bird. Honestly, I looked for more definition about how to specify the bird and it was just like... Flamingo unchained. Is it flamingo unchained?
Starting point is 00:52:16 Wait, what's the second half of this? Just may do it. An aquatic bird just may do it. Possibly? I don't even need to do it. Just may. An aquatic bird just may do it. Possibly. I don't even need to do it. Just may. An aquatic bird just may. Uh, just may. May, just may. A gull?
Starting point is 00:52:34 Uh. Nope, not a gull. Just keep naming birds. Pelican? Pelican. Nope. Nope. Okay. Pelican, pelican, pelican, pelican.
Starting point is 00:52:40 Stork, uh, duck, swan, goose. Goose. Um, aquatic bird. duck, swan, goose. Goose, no. Aquatic bird. It's interesting to look this up to see if there's any more specific. Is a heron an aquatic bird? Ooh yeah, that's a great one.
Starting point is 00:52:53 All right, fine, aquatic bird's too big. It is a, it's not a coin. Mallard. No, that's a duck. Mallard Fillmore. Ballard, no, forget it. Valid Millburn. All right, this is associated with Canada.
Starting point is 00:53:09 Oh, a gloon. And just might do it. Is it an eagle? That's right. I didn't say may, I didn't say that, I said may, so. May. Might, might loon? Yep, the other way around.
Starting point is 00:53:22 Moonlight. Light, moonlight. Moon. Lights. Well, hold on, Sandy, I just opened an envelope here and it says La La Land. Yep, the other way around. Moonlight. Moonlight. Moonlight. Well, hold on, Sandy, I just opened an envelope here and it says La La Land. Which is already spoonerized, so. Yeah. Yeah, fuck it is. All right, let's do another one.
Starting point is 00:53:36 Superhero duo featuring a guy bit by a radioactive rodent and his sidekick, a guy really into sewing. Hmm. Um. It? and his sidekick a guy really into sewing. A guy bit by a radioactive rodent and his sidekick a guy really into sewing. Ratman and Bobbin. Ratman and seems to be Batman and Robin.
Starting point is 00:53:59 You got it. It's Batman and Robin. I forgot the year, 1997. Ratman and Bobbin is way better. That'd forgot the year, 1997. Ratman and Bobbin is way better. Would that be great? Way better. Ratman and Bobbin. Oh yeah.
Starting point is 00:54:09 Ratman and Bobbin, that has legs. I feel like if JBC had a superpower, it would be like, I can Bob for apples and get it in one. And then it's like, I gotta wait for a hyper-specific crime at a Halloween party in 1960. No, if JBC would Bob for apples and go in and then come out with a rat in his mouth. That's his superpower.
Starting point is 00:54:28 It's like the like cherry, like tying a cherry stem with your tongue where it's like the trick is I just keep a tied cherry stem in my mouth. I always have a little rat in my mouth. I spent so many years learning, teaching myself how to tie a cherry stem in a knot with my tongue and I could have just cheated. Yeah. Honestly cheat. And then Sandy, the whole reason that you tie a cherry stem
Starting point is 00:54:50 with your tongue is that some people are like, wow, this guy can really use his tongue. And then later when you're having sex with that person, they're like, wow, this really did not translate. That skillset really kind of passed this person over. Why is this person depositing cherry stem knots into my mouth? You're just having sex, but the whole time
Starting point is 00:55:07 you're doing the White Lotus theme song where you're like, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh I'm from America. I slept with this guy last night and I think I got a UTI from cherry stims. I don't know. Oh girl, I've slept with them. I have so many cherry stims. That's Ratman. The next time you're going downtown, why don't you go ahead and do the white lotus.
Starting point is 00:55:35 That's not even Ratman, you slept with Bobbin. You just slept with Ratman's lesser friend. Oh my God, ew, what? No. Sandy, 40 more. I got 10 more. No. No. Sandy, 40 more. I got 10 more. Okay. Okay, let's do them.
Starting point is 00:55:49 Crossbreed between a chicken and the guy who shot Hamilton. Burr. Burr. And a hen, henburr. Benher. Benher, benher, benher, benher, benher. Aaron, you got it. It is Ben.
Starting point is 00:56:02 It is Ben. JPC, I want you to hear this when I say it. I hate you. Hey, Aaron. Her Benz hurt Benz. Yeah, Ben hers hurt Benz. Her Benz hurt Benz. I hate you.
Starting point is 00:56:20 I hate you. Here's another one. This is for lots of movies that have this. This is more of a franchise than a movie specifically. It's about defending against sword attacks, but while looking super sexy. Perry? Perry? Perry?
Starting point is 00:56:44 Harry Potter? Harry Potter. Perry Mason. Uh, uh. Perry. Hot. Styles. Perry. Harry Potter. Harry Potter. Hot. Wow, Perry Hotter. Perry Hotter. And honestly, listen up, fencers, you could probably Perry Hotter.
Starting point is 00:56:55 Yeah. Okay. What's the hottest way to Perry? What's the hottest way to Perry? Matthew? It's gotta be with your dick. Oh my God. Ow, ow, ow, call off the match.
Starting point is 00:57:09 It didn't work. It didn't work. Here's another one. The absolute greatest amount of stove top cookware 1997. This says the at the beginning. The absolute greatest amount of stovetop cookware absolutely and Mm-hmm
Starting point is 00:57:30 Okay, man something man panel mancha pan of La Mancha man on fire, okay, I want a man of La Mancha remake and instead of Don Quixote I want a pan with a hat on. The pan with the golden, the pan with the iron mask. The pan would be king. Mm-hmm.
Starting point is 00:57:54 Pan on fire. I am my Don Quixote, the pan of La Mancha. I've lost the thread of what we're supposed to be doing. It was a huge quantity of pain. Millionaire? The greatest amount of stovetop cookware. Million. So you have it. So if I could give you a tip for solving these,
Starting point is 00:58:15 if you have one of the words, take the front off. Plethora, plenty. And then put it in front of the other word. Pinnacle? Greatest amount. And it starts with a P. Yeah. So it starts with an M. No, front of the other word. Pinnacle? Greatest amount, and it starts with a P. Yeah. Start with an M. No, that's the original does.
Starting point is 00:58:29 Yeah, M. So it starts with an M. Oh, most. Most. Man post. Postman. There it is. Kevin Costner.
Starting point is 00:58:36 Kevin Costner, of course. I've not heard of that movie. What is this? It's Kevin Costner. Oh, he drinks that pee. This is right around, no, I think that's Waterworld, right? He doesn't do both. He made a diaper?
Starting point is 00:58:49 What is this Glass Houses situation? What are we doing? Oh, no, I'm sorry. Isn't Kevin Costner a pig for drinking his own pee? He's the guy who eats shit with his fingers. I think after Dances with Wolves... Oh, I didn't call him a pig. I was actually kind of an admirer.
Starting point is 00:59:03 After Dances with Wolves, I think he got like... Just, he was ruling the roost, and Hollywood was like, whatever you want to do. So he made in quick succession, I believe, Waterworld and Postman. And they were both like two of the biggest flops in cinematic history. And they were both post-apocalyptic, right? I think so. Yes. And I, in fact, I think you could say with all the negative reviews that the Postman
Starting point is 00:59:23 received the most pan Wow, yeah, oh, yeah, you do one of those your horns for me JPC. Oh, yeah, let's do it Don't make it a far noise Fillmore hold on. Let's give it one more try. So all I have is a quack. So maybe not All right. Here's here's another one. We'll move. Dirt and rubbish scattered untidily all over the floor. 1987. The movie I only saw for the first time recently. I don't know if this helps you at all.
Starting point is 00:59:53 Strewn. That's it. Trash strewn. One of those words is right. Garbage. Strewn, dirt and rubbish. Dirt, rubbish. It's not a word you use very often,
Starting point is 01:00:04 but it is a word that means dirt and rubbish. Refuse. I would say focus on the other word that you know. Strewn. Mm-hmm. And then take the front off, put it at the end. Or put it in front of the other word. Strewn.
Starting point is 01:00:19 So strewn, but we don't know it's with the... It could be the ST also right. Well, it is if the word is strewn, then you're taking up S.T.R. Hmm. Oh, OK. It's the first sound. So oh, it's the first sound. So strewn, S.T.R. when and it's for trash. WN trash. Oh, this is plus strewn. Plus the Vietnam movie, plus strewn. Plus the Vietnam movie plus strewn. That was Andy.
Starting point is 01:00:47 Where are you going? And he's putting on a jetpack. What's the year on this one? Sandy 87. So I would. Str and it's a word for trash that starts with str. No, that's no, no. Fuck, I'm saying to the name of the movie
Starting point is 01:01:02 and you know the word is. Take the and then put str after it, or in front of the other word and see in your head you can come up with the two word. St-r-e-r. Aaron, did you not get my platoon jokes? Addle, I'm underwater over here, pal. I'm trying to keep track of all these clues.
Starting point is 01:01:22 I'm trying to not look like a crazy idiot who's drinking Pedialyte at 6 p.m. on a Monday night, Addle. I'm doing my best over here. I realize today that I hate JBC. That's a lot to carry. I feel like I'm not gonna get this unless I can get the trash part of it. Strune rubbish.
Starting point is 01:01:38 STR that begins. So, un, all we have is un, and then the STR is the beginning of the other word. Struun, trash, struun. But it's a, but I feel like it's- Moon, str, moon, moon struck. Moon struck. Moon struck.
Starting point is 01:01:54 Fuck, it's moon struck. God damn it. So what's the Spoonerism? Muck. So it's struun muck. Struun muck. Muck, moon, struck. Struun muck.
Starting point is 01:02:02 I'm so confused. Step out of it. Truly a fantastic film. Yeah. Strune Muck. Muck Moon struck. Strune Muck. I'm so confused. Step out of it. Truly a fantastic film. And what was- I saw for the first time in the last three years, I think. And same.
Starting point is 01:02:14 Really? Wait, really? Yeah, me too, definitely the last five. I think I watched it, maybe the last six, because I watched it at my old apartment. Yeah, one of my overlooked embarrassing holes in my history, including that also included Jaws
Starting point is 01:02:28 up until like five or six years ago. I was like, man, this movie slaps. Why didn't anyone tell me about this movie? But yeah, Moonstruck rules. Let's keep it going, let's watch Jaws 2. By the way, Moonstruck 2 absolutely whips. Sandy, we have time for one more. Can we do one more?
Starting point is 01:02:44 And can I get your best one? Oh, I didn't rank these by best. Okay, no, no, I got plenty. I got lots. I got lots more. I got like five or six more. Yeah, yeah, I got a good one. Okay.
Starting point is 01:02:55 Okay. I'm looking at all the ones we didn't get to. I'm starting to shed a tear. Okay, here we go. The urine moved quickly. Piss Runnings. For 2006. Cool Pissings.
Starting point is 01:03:11 2006, one of the biggest movies. Pissing. You're not crazy. Is it cool pissings? Is it pee? Yeah, it's not. Piss Congeniality? No.
Starting point is 01:03:18 Wow, Piss Congeniality is a different game, but it's a really good game. I have to get Sandy Bullock on the phone. This word is not used very frequently. Micturite, micturite. Urine. It does mean to move quickly. Pedialyte after it's been through me.
Starting point is 01:03:34 The urine part is normal. The move quickly word is not something you use very often. Hustle. This sounds like my last physical. 2006 movie, very popular. Hustle. Very, do we think it's very, That sounds like my last physical. 2006 movie, very popular. Hustle. Very, very. Do we think it's?
Starting point is 01:03:47 Do we think it's piss, right? Yeah. I don't know that anyone pees in the movie. So that won't help. So it's gotta be miss, right? This guy would know. Miss. Sandy, did you tell us that we got piss, right?
Starting point is 01:04:00 It's not piss. Oh, pee? Is it pee? Yes. Pee myself and Irene? Pee. Pee my pants and Irene? Pee.
Starting point is 01:04:08 So it's E. Okay. And it's move quickly? Hustle. Sprint. Yeah, here it's a hustle. Pop two. Pop two.
Starting point is 01:04:20 Puss. Oh God. What is move quickly? Run, sprint, move, jog. It's past tense. It's past tense, that's a help. Ran. Right, so the movie probably ends in E-D. Because it's past tense.
Starting point is 01:04:38 Ooh. Okay. So you have P, 2006. And the N has P, but so you got a spoonerized P, so it's gonna be E. E. Is it E-T? No, 2006. I P'd phone home.
Starting point is 01:04:54 The prestige? That's what I'm drunk. Not the prestige. No, because that's only one word or one syllable. Well, prestige. E, E, E and E-D. Oh, this is so tough. It's P, but instead of P, it, E and E, D. Oh, this is so tough. It's P, but instead of P, it's E and then the P sound.
Starting point is 01:05:09 So inside the word is Eep. Eep. And it moved quickly. The departed? It moved quickly. P-parted? P-parted. You got it.
Starting point is 01:05:21 Yeah. No, it's not P-parted. It's D-parted or P's D parted or P darted. P darted. Did I just get one without you guys giving it to me? Am I a secret genius? And I would have to give credit to one of my subscribers, Malaka, who wrote that one.
Starting point is 01:05:39 So good, thank you for that. Great job. We'll have to get the other ones another time. Wow. And Aaron, let's give you your sound effect. Okay. And you're slightly hard in the face. Jesus Christ.
Starting point is 01:05:50 Aaron, I know you already went to college, but we just got an email. I guess someone from MIT is listening to this live somehow, and they're inviting you to go to MIT on a full scholarship to eat baby shit? Yeah, no, they just want to study. They've done this before. They want to study my brain to see how I've been able to stay alive this long.
Starting point is 01:06:11 Where can people study your brain? Oh, well, while it's still inside my skull, I think you could do it best at Instagram, which is this mystery league on Instagram or on threads. And I have a newsletter where you can hear and read all the output from my brain that is called signals It's at signals dot fun s IGN ALS dot fun FUN Beyond that, I don't know come and Walk around Chicago singing a song. Maybe I'll run into you. It could be a puzzle Sandy
Starting point is 01:06:44 I know that you said before we started this that you didn't want a gift, but we did get you a little something. No, I said I didn't want a gift. It's a coffin full of sand. Get the fuck in here. Get the fuck back in here. I'm coming for the sand.
Starting point is 01:06:56 Oh God, it never goes any easy. Never goes any easy. Well, it's that time again to say a fond farewell to everyone listening. Erin Keefe, do you have anything to plug or promote? Um, I would like to plug the Hayrita Riddle Patreon. We've been giggling our asses off over there recently. Do a seven day free trial. Listen to whatever episodes you want.
Starting point is 01:07:24 And then, and then say, maybe recommend it to a friend if you enjoy it. Adel, anything to plug from you. A few quick things. One, there's a show on HBO Max. How do you say it? Just Max? Do you just say Max? Or do you say HBO Max?
Starting point is 01:07:41 Okay. There's a show on Max called Somebody Somewhere. It's in its third season. Third season will have come out by the time this airs. And my sister, Sadia, is in that third season. So please watch Somebody Somewhere. So cool. Watch the first two seasons and then enjoy Sadia in the third season.
Starting point is 01:07:59 Do you need context? Can I just jump into the third season? I don't know yet. I haven't watched, I don't think it's come out yet by the time this is currently, but I would assume a little context wouldn't hurt. I also want to plug and promote that I was on two podcasts. I guess it again on one of my favorite podcasts,
Starting point is 01:08:17 the restricted section. So please check out all those episodes. And then I was also a guest on Source Not Found podcast. So check that out as well. JPC, anything to plug, promote or a review to read? Yeah, let's read a review, shall we? If you wanna get a review featured on the show, just leave us a five-star review anywhere you leave reviews.
Starting point is 01:08:37 Hey, this one's from Thorah Birch. Thorah says, hey, Riddle Verdle is a land of magic. JPC here with some important information. Come here, this cat here binks, he can talk. My brother's a virgin. He lit the black flame candle. The witches are back from the dead and they're after us. We need help!
Starting point is 01:08:52 Wait, Thor Birch, isn't that an actor? I don't know man, but either way, that's a review. Thor Birch? I know that name. Thor Birch? That's a pretty cool sounding name. Thor Birch. I feel like that's...
Starting point is 01:09:04 It's either a type of tree or it's a actor. It's definitely a type of tree. And why not both? Laura Birch. And why not both? Hey, and also a little plug here. Register to vote. Now, it's too late for whatever happened for this one, but you know, it's always fun to
Starting point is 01:09:20 just register for something. It's like signing up for a small mistakes. Classic Hey Riddle Riddle. Perfect. Perfect timing timing everybody. Don't vote but register that'll fuck with their heads man they're gonna be like this is gonna be a big election look at all these people registering then you just sit your ass at home fun. And before it's too late grab your pink ranger t-shirt that says i think i'm gonna crumb vote. Sorry little oh I forgot that I always forget I have the pull cord for this Hey there animals and parades, if you liked that you're going to love this week's Patreon. It's a whole episode of Animal Parade.
Starting point is 01:10:22 You can listen to that plus our entire back catalog at patreon.com slash hey riddleriddle by joining the Clue Crew for $5 a month or start your 7 day free trial or the Review Crew for $8 a month and you get those ad-free episodes. See you there!

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