Hey Riddle Riddle - #355: Hart of Riddixie w/ Matt Oberg

Episode Date: May 7, 2025

We have Matt Oberg on the show to torture another very nice person with our horrible riddle bullshit. And he fit right in! Also make sure to check out The Extraordinarians, Matt's new podcast with Kristen Schaal and Tony Hale on Apple Podcast and YouTube!Starring:Adal RifaiJohn Patrick CoanErin KeifGuest:Matt ObergEditing by: Casey ToneyTheme by: Arne ParrottLogo by: Emily Kardamis & Emmaline MorrisWant more? Get Weekly Bonus Eps on Patreon!JPC's Guided Meditations Volume 1, available now at our Patreon digital store!Want merch? Visit our Dashery Store!Want to mail us something? Hey Riddle Riddle 6351 W Montrose Ave #267Chicago, IL, 60634Want to leave us a voicemail? Call (805) RIDDLE-1 or (805-743-3531)Want to advertise on the show? Check out Hey Riddle Riddle via Gumball.fmSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a head gum podcast. Thank you again, Matt, for doing this. We're excited to have you. It's going to be fun. Woo. What's the worst that could happen? Hey, aim into that. Well, Aaron might have a breakdown.

Yeah, I could have a breakdown. I hate riddles. I'm back on my hating riddles brain, everybody. This is like a Sisyphus punishment for us. Yeah. That's fun. I'm back on my hating riddles train everybody. This is like a Sisyphus punishment for us. Yeah. That's fun. I'm gonna be a little bit of a wimp. I'm gonna be a little bit of a wimp. I'm gonna be a little bit of a wimp.

I'm gonna be a little bit of a wimp. I'm gonna be a little bit of a wimp. I'm gonna be a little bit of a wimp. I'm gonna be a little bit of a wimp. I'm gonna be a little bit of a wimp. I'm gonna be a little bit of a wimp. I'm gonna be a little bit of a wimp. I'm gonna be a little bit of a wimp.

I'm gonna be a little bit of a wimp. I'm gonna be a little bit of a wimp. do have a riddle poking out of you as well. Oh God. Is that from me or did it go inside me? Is it from me or, I don't know, is it medical? Do I need it? Do I need it to live? It's kind of like the Ellie is sticking out of your back.

I assume the R-I-D-D is in there somewhere. Get it out, get it out, get it out, get it out. Okay, okay, Erin, count to three. One. Whoa, Edel, I don't think Get it out, get it out, get it out, get it out. Okay, okay, Erin, count to three. One. One. Whoa, Adel, I don't think you should pull a riddle out because I feel like it could be keeping a bunch of riddles inside, you know what I'm saying? It's like an arrow.

I don't know, I'm in another doctorate. I think they say if you get shot with an arrow, you just have to deal with it. You just have to live like that. They say that's life now. You're saying he should push it back in. Let me shoot an arrow. Erin, I'm gonna shoot an arrow at you.

I'm gonna put a riddle on the top of your head and shoot it off. Okay, hold still. Okay. I don't wanna drop this big riddle that I'm pushing up the hill. This is the right way to do this, is to shoot you with an arrow right now

to kind of figure out what it is that we're doing here. Oh, wait a minute. I might know someone who is a doctor or might have played a doctor before. You may know him from Veep. You might know him from Abbott Elementary. You might know him as the voice of Kite Man. And Kite Man, hell yeah.

Please welcome Matt Oberg. Whoo! Hello. Whoo! Whoo! It sounds like these are just euphemisms for pooping. They're here just pushing it all aside. Whoa!

Whoa, Matt. Yeah, he's saying the quiet part out loud. Disgusting. Which I'm happy to do, but... I'm always happy to assist someone with pooping. Whatever that means to you, I'm happy to do it. Sure. Matt, have you ever played a doctor? I don't think so.

I've never like, I think I'd remember wearing a lab coat and stuff. No, I should. I'd buy it. At some point today during the episode, we'll have you play a doctor. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. No, I play, you know, it used to be sort of emasculated fathers and now it's becoming kind of My favorite demographic. Yeah, and it's not a, it's not a big leap for me. Now I'm getting more like, you know, jerks, like people who are smarmy and everyone wants to see them lose. And happy to do it.

Happy to do it. Congratulations. With whatever's going on in the collective psychosis of this country, it seems like a lot of people were having father issues that they were writing into things and now they're like, actually I think my emasculated father's kind of a dick. And now it's like flipping the other way on the father. Well, I've been saying that, you know,

nerds can be jerks for a long time. People, you know? We're living proof of that. We live that truth every day here at David O'Neill. I mean, it's like, hurt people hurt people, right? Like that's the- Yes, yes, yes. People who were popular in high school

are by the most part really nice, so. Matt, two questions for you. One is, you're the voice of Kite Man in Kite Man Hell Yeah, which is a fantastic series, which means you probably know a friend of ours and former guest of the show, Katie Rich. Yeah, oh sure. She's a, you guys are from the Chicago School of Living,

right? Oh yes. Yeah, and she's a graduate of that. Yeah, no, she's great. It's, you know, a lot of my interaction with her was in this sort of a medium, but we were at Comic-Con together not too long ago, and, or I guess maybe it was a while back,

but no, she's the best, she's the best. That's fantastic. And then secondly, what is your relationship with riddles, puzzles, lateral thinking problems, even something like crosswords or escape rooms or. Connections. Um, I'm big into the New York times suite of games. Uh, the one show that I DVR is Jeopardy. So I don't know what a lateral puzzle is.

So that, you know, excludes me from enjoying those. But- Look at the name of the book that I'm reading from today. Oh no. It's lateral thinking puzzles. So you'll find out soon enough. Is that counted as a book or is it just a bunch of different lateral thinking puzzles? So you'll find out soon enough. Is that counted as a book or is it just a bunch of different lateral thinking puzzles?

You're right, this is not a book. Yeah, fuck this. It's like common sense. It looks like a seventh graders homework assignment. It really does, from like 1998. So the cover is looking up at a palm tree or? No, it's just a bunch of random shapes, but I'm glad that you can see something

in the random shapes. Ooh, yeah, that's a bit of a Rorschach test. Yeah, so weird. Illustrated by Myron Miller. I was like looking at that cover and I was like, Oh, he's the best. Is that my father having sex with my mother? Like what the hell is that?

Why is he angry at me? Yeah. Yeah. When you watch Jeopardy, if you were on Jeopardy, What the hell is that? Why is he angry at me? Yeah. Yeah. When you watch Jeopardy, if you were on Jeopardy, what categories would you be like so excited to see and what would you be like, oh fuck, I'm done? That's a great question. I mean, I don't think I would be confident

about any of them, but there's so much opera on Jeopardy and that is a weak point for me. Although half the time I feel like the answer is Carmen, but, um, or like Madam Butterfly, but, um, it's the ones you're cocky about that gets you into trouble, I think, um, the other game I play a lot, which is, um, not wordle, but worldle, you guys into that? It gives you like the silhouette of a country.

Oh yeah, yeah. Aaron, I think you maybe had us play that on an episode or something similar. It's fun, except I played it just this weekend with some friends, which was a real hoot. And it was Puerto Rico, which is not a nation, but a territory, and I felt like that was. That's a little bit of a cheat.

Yeah, yeah, so. They glommed ya, they absolutely glommed ya. I got glommed. I got glommed, Casey Clippett, we're gonna use that, that's how you sound, I got glommed. So if there was a Jeopardy question of what are like silhouettes of Puerto Rico, I would, this week you'd crush that category.

Sounds like a romance novel. Matt, where are you, where are you from in the, in the world? I grew up in the suburbs of New York in Westchester, Larchmont, New York. And, um, are you guys in Chicago as we speak right now? JPC and I are in Chicago. Erin was in Chicago, but moved to LA four years ago. I'm in Los Angeles, yes. Nice, great call.

Yeah. You can tell because you can see the sun in her background and you can see Adel and I. Adel looks like he's in a sauna and I look like I'm in a black hole. So that's still Chicago. Yeah, you guys are both in ice fishing tents, right? For sure.

Just trying to make it through April. Yeah. Yeah. But that's my story. I had a question and now I forget what it was. What was my question? So this is the part of the show where Erin tries to remember her question.

You know, how did I get into show business? How did you get into show business? Yeah, we're pivoting to sort of a W2F. W2F? Is that the right word? W2F, it's his bonus podcast. Okay. What 2 Fuck, yeah, this is a show called What 2 Fuck. Sorry that you're on it, but.

Sometimes I'll wake up in the middle of the night, I'll open the fridge and I'm like, what the fuck? Shredded cheese always, shredded cheese always, guys. Shredded. Always. Oh, well I'm done of it. Shredded cheese always. Shredded cheese always, guys. Shredded. Always. Well, I'm done with it. That's the worst, and I knew you were about to say that. Of course you knew I was about to say that.

Second I made that joke. Erin, if you don't remember what your question is, we have to move on, we have to do riddles. So you either have to think of a really good question or we have to do riddles. Fuck. It's totally your choice. As much as I want this to be an interview podcast,

I will do some riddles. podcast, I will do something else. Okay, I do want to see a, I am going to call for our first scene. We can make it pretty quick. But I think just to fulfill the prophecy, fulfill the prophecy. What's going on with you today? To fulfill the prophecy,

I need to go ahead and see a scene. Aaron, you are a kid who has to go to school and doesn't want to. Matt, you are doctor dad. You are Aaron's dad, but you're also a doctor. So now you've played one and you're trying to convince your daughter to go to school. Oh boy, sounds bad, huh?

Sounds pretty bad. You know, kiddo, you know that in addition to being your dad, I'm also a doctor. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you know, when I'm feeling bad or I have, like you have a pretty wet, consistent cough, I can't just call the hospital and say, I'm not gonna come in and do doctoring. But dad, you should. You could get a lot of people sick if you have a cough and you go in and you give it to all your patients.

I'm sorry, are you the doctor dad or am I the doctor dad? You're the doctor dad. That's right. And I don't wanna have to go tell nurse mom about this conversation, okay? What I mean to say is that in school, just as in open heart surgery, there's no excuse for not showing up.

Yeah, but doesn't that look bad on you if I show up and I get every kid in school sick and they're gonna go, isn't her dad a doctor and her mother a nurse? What are they doing over there? It's a fair point, sweetheart, it's a fair point. But then they'll look to me for the cure and then we can buy more of the toys

that you love and cherish. Okay, I'm listening. Let's make a negotiation. I won't tell all the kids at school that you're siphoning medicine off of your own supply and you let me stay home from school today. All right, now that's a prescription for success, sweetheart. See?

It can't be. Dr. Dad, come into CBS this fall. Oh, CBS would love Dr. Dad. Oh, Will Coda's the theme song? Yeah. CBS is listening for sure. We love Dr. Dad. We're passing.

No! No! We couldn't love him more. ABC's about to have a hit on their hands, CBS. Okay. All right, I will do riddles, because I did agree to do this podcast in 2018 and here I am. Um, and here I am. And Erin, hold up today's newspaper and say you're fine.

Hi, I'm Erin Keefe. It is sometime in May and I'm doing all right. Um, it's not May. Oh, it is May. Oh shit. It is May, but it's not May. I'm like, you're wrong. It's the day after 420,

and we're all trying our very, very best. That's what it actually is, guys. No, no, no, no, no, no. You're listening to this on the day it comes out, and it's the same day we recorded it. It's May. Right, of course. Everyone knows it's May, and it's today. Okay, these are from Will Parsons.

He says, I created some quick two sentence riddles for you guys when I should have been working. Oops. So these are like rhyming. You'll see, actually, I think I'll just go into them. Okay, great. And well, these are, we'll consider these warmup riddles. I'm always at home, but I never pay rent.

Waiting for me would be time long spent. And you're all sort of thinking, you're all like very presentationally thinking. And we shouldn't be doing that, is that what I'm gathering? We don't even think about this one, okay. Big stroke of the beard. Erin, is this some sort of pet or plant?

I was gonna say dog. Yeah, someone could potentially have this as a pet. I'm always at home, but I never pay rent. Waiting for me would be time long spent. Waiting for me. I'm always at home. And the home doesn't really look like our home. Oh, is it like a hermit crab?

Close. Or a snail. Why would waiting like a hermit crab? Uh. Close. Or a snail. Why would waiting for a hermit crab be time well spent though? That's my favorite play. I love that play, super heady. Samuel Beckett, yes. Yeah.

I can't make it. I'm still waiting for this hermit crab, but it's time well spent. People don't have hermit crabs as pets. or do you think you're asking the right? Question is what takes a long time, but is there an animal that is slow like a oh It's like a bear that's a waiter or something. Oh, it's I know what it is this fall You flagging down a bear waiter check. Can I get the check the check? I'm making the signing motion and the bear's like,

I don't use bear. Matt, it sounded like you might have it. Do you guys really not have it or are you being kind to me? Oh, I really don't have it. I'm not sure. It's a fucking turtle. God damn it. Matt, I wanna congratulate you,

but it also sucks that you thought we were so dumb we were acting. That's a compliment to our acting chops though. Actually, that's pretty cool. But I wasn't acting. I mean, Daniel D. Lewis doesn't act. He just is, Adol. Yeah, that's fair.

You be, you act. I'd like to see a scene. JPC, you are a turtle and you are hosting a housewarming party, which is your shell and adult and Matt You're going to go to his housewarming party. I Think it's around here somewhere 48 and a half seconds. Oh, oh down here. Oh Hi, My dudes! Hey!

Welcome, guys! Love the new place. This is amazing. Yeah. Yeah. This is so cool. Can't believe we made it into this neighborhood, huh? The school zones and this thing? Yeah.

Yeah. P.S. Fantastic. Property taxes don't even get me started, though. huh, the school zones in this thing? Yeah. Yeah. That's fantastic. Property taxes don't even get me started, though. Yeah. Man, this is an official zoned, you know, permitted dwelling. That's so cool.

That's so cool. Yeah. The sort of house numbers look so big on your shell. Oh, yeah? Yeah, well, that house numbers look so big on your shell. Oh, yeah? Yeah, well, that's the HOA. You know, they make you put them on at that size. You know, everybody's got to be uniform, living in the little tiny boxes. Oh, weeds. Yeah, weeds. Can we get up? Can we? Can Mark and I get a tour?

Yeah. OK, sure. But I know I said no gifts, you both have blenders. What do we have? Blenders, we both. You gassed it. Dude, you can never, I always say you can never have enough blenders, you know?

Yeah. So I know you love, you know, green, you know, lettuce, mostly, so this, you could put lettuce in here. Tell me you didn't bring lettuce. Oh, oh, Eileen's gonna kill me, I'm clean, but oh, I may have to have a little. There you go. And I brought you, I know that for dessert,

you sometimes will pick at some watercress, so this blender is for watercress. Oh, you guys are the best. All right, get in here. Come on, get in here. Come in. Keith, why don't you do arm hole, and Greg, you do leg hole?

Sure, sure. And just real quick, which is your arm? Ah, OK. Tay, talk to me after I have some lettuce and watercress and then we'll start playing that game. You know what I'm saying? See, see, see. Put that on a coffee mug.

You guys, I'm having sort of an existential moment here. I'm picturing a turtle. I'm trying not to Google it. And when it's in its shells, like the shell, like their body part is really attached, like through skin to the shell part, right? Yeah. It's not like they just fully go into the

shell and the shell is like, the shell is like. I think there's. Yeah. I think there's some mucus. The shell has their spines. Yes. And brain there. But it's like, I just mean the attachment.

Like I'm picturing the little arms coming out and they, they wouldn't like, yeah. You're thinking like, if you yanked on a turtle's head hard enough, would the thing just come out? Yeah, I'm saying if I yanked on a turtle's head hard enough again, would it come out? Yeah, you dated Michelangelo, right? I did.

Erin, you're saying, is the creature that we call a turtle another creature inside of there? Could you take the turtle out of the shell and it would still be a turtle? I actually so regret asking this question out loud. Like when a snail becomes a slug. I'll take my answer offline. Caterpillar becomes a butterfly? Different thing. Anyways. I've got a lot of caterpillars in my backyard and I have a backyard as well, so that's pretty cool. Must be nice. Yeah. But it happens around this time of year.

And a lot of them become, not a lot of them, I'd say less than 10% become cocoons. And I was showing my daughters, I'm like, look, there's one, we can see it right here. And then after, I don't know, like two weeks, you just see this trickle of, of blood coming out of it. That's the most valuable of all, you know, liquids is butterfly blood. It's so rare. You sell that in LA. It's like, so it's like better than Botox. in LA, it's like, so it's like better than Botox. Women just putting butterfly blood. She would, she would hawk butterfly blood to all of us.

You know what? I'd buy it. I'd walk into that little goop store in Brentwood and I'd spend $200 on that. On butterfly blood. I can get you some for free. Oh, hell yeah. Thank you.

Truly the next time I play like a wizard or something, I'm going to be like, give me two scoops of butterfly blood. That's sticking in the library for sure. Yeah. All right. Let's continue on these riddles. I'm back on the riddle train. I'm going to be enthusiastic the rest of the episode. I'm never going to complain again.

I don't have to speak your language to know what you mean. French. No, I could discern some of your habits based on your sheen. I think this one's hard by the way. Oh, this is Spanish. No. Because as we all know, Nope.

Emilio Estevez. Nope. Is let him finish. Brother. Martin Sheen's real name is like Pablo Estevez or something like that. Yeah, famously, yeah. I don't have to speak your language to know what you mean, though I could discern some of your habits based on your sheen.

Okay. I don't speak your language to know what you mean. What's the different ways to communicate with people that isn't trouble language? Body language, Body language. Sign language. Dance, math. Dance, math, no. Yes, jazz.

Body language is close. Jazz, is it jazz? It's sign language. It's not sign language. Body language, like what is a way to communicate to someone that you feel a certain way? Touch. Your touch.

Oh, mime. The art of mime. Not the art of mime. Kiss, that's it. Puppetry. Sex, is it sex? This feels. I would say you're over-complicating it,

but if you were to walk into a room, this is actually a bad example, because you're gonna make fun of me. Okay. But if I, I haven't seen you in a while. Why don't you just take a second and have it to a good example. Wait, I walked into the room.

Scratch the bad example, scratch the bad example completely, throw that one out. No, no, I don't have time to think of a good example. Matt walked into your room, Matt walked into your hypothetical room. Okay, so Matt and I met today and we're getting along great, we're buddies already, I feel like this is going well.

We're gonna be friends. Sure, that's your side of things. We both live in LA. I'm in a coffee shop, right? And he walks in. How would he know that I'm excited to greet my new friend? Big smile. Smile, there you go.

It's a smile. Wait, how is that the answer? What's the answer? What's the riddle? A smile answer? What's the riddle? A smile. But what's the riddle? I feel fucking stupid today. I don't understand what's going on.

I don't have to speak your language to know what you mean, but I can tell how you feel based on your sheen. Of course. Well, you guys sort of completely rewrote the riddle and I love that. I don't have to speak your language, you know what I mean? You got that part right. Though I could discern some of your habits based on your Sheen.

Like... I gotta tell you, I went to a bookstore, they had coffee house smile, and they had silhouettes of Puerto Rico, and I got silhouettes of Puerto Rico. And I'll say this, if Martin Sheen is showing you his teeth, that actually does not mean he's excited to meet you. That means he is very frustrated, he's very anxious and you actually

shouldn't go close to Martin Sheen because you will get bit. Martin Sheen is just as scared of you as you are. Don't worry. If you're cold, he's cold. Bring your Martin Sheen inside. You know, that's probably generally true of people so it might also be true of Martin Sheen. If you're Apocalypse Now, he's Apocalypse Now. That's so funny. I just like that you're gonna invent a last name and Sheen made it to the top of the list. Yeah.

Let's do it. You drive around LA and realize how many like hacky things are just named after streets in Los Angeles. Bronson and. And I was trying to think of this and I was like, I should have texted you because I think you are the perfect person to remember this. But isn't there a celebrity who changed their name because their name was the name of a different celebrity?

Michael Keaton. Michael Keaton. Wait. No, no, no, no, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Albert Einstein. That's right. Was Albert Brooks.

Albert Brooks was born Albert Einstein. Albert Einstein. Changed his name to, but also Michael Keaton had a, Michael Keaton's real name is Michael Douglas. That's right. That's right. That's awesome.

I knew if I had texted you this, I would have had both of those examples like immediately. Cause I was like, I can't remember what this thing is, but yes. I thought at first you were saying Albert Einstein changed his own name to Albert Einstein. It just sounds so smart, you know. Okay, another riddle.

Sounds really smart. These are still from Will, Will wrote these. I have many jagged teeth and usually stay with a pack. I make my home in a cave filling up every crack. Don't be gross. Don't be gross. Grab my spray bottle. He, he, he, he.

Spray, spray, spray, spray. Ah, my crack. I have many jagged teeth. So that makes me think of like a zipper. Ooh. Okay. Which when you unzip your pants, that could be like a little cave. Yeah. Right?

Well, Addle. Okay pervert. Okay pervert. I do think Addle's wearing his pants backwards. Now this is not my only indicator. I need you pervert. Addle unzipping the butt of his pants. All of Addle's pants are like Catwoman costumes. Yeah, we are finding out

that Addle's been wearing his pants backwards. Oh. I go to get a physical at the doctor's, and I unzip my pants, and I go, wanna explore the cave? And he goes, please just put on the paper robe. I'm a dentist, please. It'd be worse if you talked to your doctor in riddles, too.

Oh, yeah. What has a cave? A terrible rash and no health insurance. I have many jagged teeth and usually stay with a pack. I make my home in a cave filling up every crack. Is it a bat? Is it a colony of bats? It's not a bat. Is it an animal like a wolf? Is it a wolf?

Because wolves live in caves. No, it's not an animal. And I would say Addle did not have it quite right with a zipper, but that way of thinking I think could get you. What else has teeth? Saws, saws have teeth. Okay. That's true.

Does a comb have teeth? A comb? Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Teeth comb. Comb teeth. Usually stay at a pack is I think true. Like a pack of Marlbrows. So I wouldn't say it's like in a pack of something.

I'd say it stays with its own kind usually. It stays with more of what they are. Magnets. Not magnets. It's magnets. It's magnets. All. Magnets. Not magnets. It's magnets. It's magnets. All right. Always magnets.

We've decided. Damn, riddles are hard today. What the fuck is going on? I know, I know. I think maybe, I do think it's the post 420 blues. That's gotta be it, yeah. It's the post 420 blues. Post 420 blues.

Those famous post 420 blues. Can 420 blues. Those famous post 420 blues. Can I ask for a clue? Yeah. Yes, we need a clue. You definitely, definitely own several versions of this thing. Full body Shrek bodysuit. My other hint is this is very, very inexpensive to replace. I feel like it's pretty affordable if you lose this thing,

but you kind of need, but it's hard. It is hard to replace if you don't, if you've completely lost it. And you buy like more, you buy a bunch of them. I would say it's smart to buy more than one of these things. And if you lose it say it's smart to buy more than one of these things and if you The key it's a key What's the use of wave is is the lock of course the lock yeah, yeah

You keep your keys with other keys on a key ring What yes, I keep all my keys loose in different pockets. What am I doing wrong? Actually, you guys, my key ring actually kind of looks insane. Can I show it to you? I know this is a- Uh-oh. Yeah, no, please.

I can't wait to see what this looks like. How far away are her keys? She's leaving. She left them in Boston. Here we go. What's the over-under on how many keys are on the ring? Ooh, I'm gonna say 15. It's so loud and so heavy and so too much.

And I literally just took something off of it today. To me it's not keys. Oh yeah, I was gonna say there's a bunch of other stuff. Yeah, for sure. And a lot of it is like anxiety stuff. Like this is like an alarm thing. And then this is like a fidget toy. This is Rose Quartz, a crystal for my spells.

This is a bottle opener. I wouldn't put the alarm thing in the same category as Rose Quartz in a fidget toy. What is that? Personal safety. They're all keeping me safe in different ways. I see, fair enough, fair enough. That's the key fob to her heart.

Yeah. Bokwok, bokwokwok. I don't hear it. I've got just one key. Wow. That's slick. That's cool. That's cool.

Wow. It opens everything. This, you're like, this lady's a mess. You're walking in. That's crazy. That's always locked out of place. It's just like knocking on the door. Like this is not the right key.

I've had a locksmith put the few locks we have all in the same. Yeah, keyed it up. Yep. And then this locksmith's come out a few times. One of the last times he was here, maybe he's listening, I don't know, but he's leaving and he goes, I love you.

And I go, okay, all right, I love you too. Because this man can enter any room. Yeah. Anytime he wants. Yeah, if a locksmith says I love you, you say it back, because otherwise. I'm dying. That's also, you know he went home that night

and to his wife, he's like, I can't believe I said, I love you. And she's like, no one he went home that night into his wife. He's like, I can't believe I said I love you. And she's like, no one's gonna remember that in a week. And no one's ever gonna mention it on a podcast. Everyone's gonna forget about it. His wife comes with him every time he comes home. Wow. Was he talking to her?

That's what he says. That's his story. Baby, I was talking to you. Wait, that's crazy. What a life. I want to be them. Yeah. Yeah.

It was like, oh, yeah. I hope I said I love you too, but I don't know. You could have just said thank you. If someone says I love you, thank you. And they're a stranger or a person who's doing a task for you, I think thank you is acceptable. It's a weird thing to say thank you to, in any instance, when someone says, I love you.

I feel like- Unless you're Harrison Ford. That's true. If Harrison Ford said, if I said, I love you to Harrison Ford and he said, I love you too, I would not believe it. I'd be like, Harrison Ford, you're famously kind of crotchety. I don't think you love me. I think you're trying to get out of this interaction.

And you can't, I gotcha, I gotcha Harrison. That's a good Harrison Ford impression, Matt. Can we hear that again? I love you too. Is that, that's just Batman. Have you been watching what's it called on? Shrinking? Shrinking? Shrinking.

I haven't done the work, no, I should. I haven't done the work. I watched the first two episodes. I have not done the work, it's good. It's very good. All right, I'm gonna get to it. When you say the first two episodes, do you mean of the first season

or of the second season that came out? First season. Great. My podcast mate, Kristen Shaw, in our new podcast, she got some huge box of swag from shrinking and we were the beneficiaries of that. And then we have like two shrinking pickleball paddles in a gigantic, like shrinking water service.

So we're fans. Did she do an episode of Shrinking? Or is she on the show? No, we don't know. I don't know. But they wanted her to be aware. Of Shrinking. Of Shrinking, and now we are.

And now everyone at the pickleball court knows all about it. I, well, I'm gonna get through these four riddles that Will did, and then we'll take a quick break. Okay. I have many, many rings, though don't like to be showy. You may call me shady, but guess what? You're below me.

Well, oh Saturn. That's just a poem I wrote about how I feel about you guys. It's, wow. Is it Saturn? Is Saturn above us? No, that is a really good guess. That's actually really great at all. Is it Saturn? Is Saturn above us? No, that is a really good guess. That's actually really great at all.

Is it Uranus? No, and I wish. High five, high five, high five. Spray bottle, spray bottle, spray bottle. No, hey, hey! I was too busy holding both hands over my crack because I knew the spray was coming. Yeah.

So funny. I have many, many rings that don't like to be showy. You may call me shady, but guess what? You're a balloon. Oh, it's a tree. It's a tree. It's like a giving tree or something. Adam, what was the first name that you said?

Bill Russell. Bill Russell. I was gonna say Mickey Rourke. He has more rings than anybody else in the NBA. Doesn't it feel like Mickey Rourke probably just wears a lot of rings? Johnny Depp does. Johnny Depp definitely does wears a lot of rings? Johnny Depp does. Johnny Depp definitely does.

A lot of rings and bangles, yeah. Billy Bob Thornton. Got a bunch of rings. Yeah. A pile of butterfly blood around his neck. Have you ever worn an auxiliary ring? Like not a, not you, Erin. I'm asking Matt and Adil if they've ever worn-

I can't be part of the conversation. Why? Because I have a bunch of stuff on me all the time. We all know you probably wear a ton of rings, let's be honest. I do, I do, to fidget with. I have one friend in my life, who I'll remain nameless, who wears, hey, Aaron, what's the word for auxiliary rings? Like jewelry? I guess it's just jewelry, right?

Just like rings, yeah. What would be a non-auxiliary ring? Like a wedding ring? Like a wedding ring, I think that's like a utility ring. Green lantern ring. Yeah, if I saw the green lantern wearing a ring, I'd be like, yeah, you need that for your job. Yeah.

I just don't see it very often. One key, one ring. One ring to rule them all. But no, I've never. I got two auxiliary, non-essential rings on. I got a clatter ring from Galway because all the women in my family have these clatter rings and the heart famously faces out

if you're available on Single and Faces In when you're in love. And I was recently at home with my nieces and my niece is familiar with the ring because everyone in my family has one. And she was like, why is your heart facing in? I was like, well, like I'm in love. So that's, and she went and she like winced,

took off my ring and faced it the other way. And I was like, whoa, whoa, okay, I guess we're not on board with him yet. She doesn't approve of who you love or the act of loving. Both, I think. Anytime there's a romance on a TV show, she's like blech and goes in the other room. So not, I think, but also,

Jerry's still out on the guy that I'm seeing for her. And she has a thick Irish brogue. Yeah, she does. She's wise. I don't approve of your love. Hi, tootoy, tootoy. Okay, I think you guys are gonna get these next three ones fast. And I'm just putting that out into the universe,

not to put pressure on you, but I'm just sort of manifesting that for you. Okay. A unit of comedy on a weekend night or a quick creation often in black and white? Bits. Sketch. Sketch.

Yes, into sketch. I almost said skit. I almost said skit. That would've been embarrassing. It has to be. Like an aunt asking about what you do for work. How are all the skits you're doing going? How are your little bits?

I could be a lyric, I could be a pole, or maybe your local watering hole. Bar. Yes. A bar. Oh, a bar. You got that so fast. A beast of burden. You were right about us getting these.

I know, see, I just believed in you, and then you could do it. That's what it is. I haven't even rung in yet here, here we go. A beast of burden or a throat that sore. If I see JPG. Horse. Yes, you didn't even need the last line.

Oh wow. You each got one too. And I believed in you. All right everybody, you deserve a quick rest. We're gonna do some Capri Suns and orange slices in the break and then we'll see you when we get back. Okay. I love you. Love you.

Love you. I know. I know. I know. One, two, three, four, eight, eight, two, three, four. One, two, three, four, eight, eight, two, three, four.

This podcast is sponsored by Squarespace. AdultGPC? Hey, what's up, man? Can I show you something? Oh, yeah, anything. I am keeping track of all of JPC's crimes against humanity, and I decided to make a new website using Squarespace. Oh, yeah, that's actually cool.

Squarespace is perfect for that because they're the all-in-one website platform designed to help you stand out and succeed online, whether you're just starting out or scaling your business, Squarespace gives you everything you need to claim your domain, showcase your offerings with a professional website, grow your brand, and get paid all in one place. JPC, I'm so glad you have a good attitude about this. Hey, you know, all press is good press. Any good press is... I did press a lot of people.

Is that something that's on the website? Wow, look at that. Well, you have and Squarespace makes it easy to showcase your expertise and engage clients with video content on your website. Upload and organize your videos, create stunning video libraries, and even monetize your content by adding a paywall.

Perfect for online courses, exclusive tutorials and premium workshops, or videos of JBC pressing on people's noses way too hard. Oh, yeah, and if you want to, I don't know, support JPC or just donate because you feel bad for what he's done, Squarespace has donations you can fundraise directly on your website and grow your impact with built-in donation tools. Create a professional on-brand website that makes it easy to accept one-time or recurring contributions and engage supporters. Plus Squarespace has SEO tools you can get discovered fast with integrated Squarespace SEO tools. Every

website is optimized to be indexed with meta descriptions and auto-generated sitemap and more so you show up more often on search engines and bring in more of your ideal customers. Like say someone is Googling like JPC plus crime, they might find our website much faster because we're on Squarespace. My website, not our website. Wait, I don't get, I don't get, there's not like a little kickback for, I don't get.

No. What? Head to squarespace.com slash Riddle for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, use offer code RIDDLE to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. You ate the pyramids? Sorry, I just went on Aaron's website. You ate the pyramids?

I ate a pyramids. JPC. Yeah, it's the same thing. It's the ones in Egypt. Yeah, those are the ones I ate. Yeah. That's our JPC. JPC. good news. I got something for Mariah for Mother's Day.

Oh, that's so nice. I also got a little something for Mariah for Mother's Day. Well, Beverly Shoe-Bidoo did. My alter ego that's trying to steal your wife. Yeah, that makes sense. Mine is a Beverly Shoe-Badoo repellent spray. And Brian can just kind of clip it to her little lapel. And then if any Beverly Shoe-Badoos get too close, it's sprint-spread game over. She's not gonna want to use it. You know what she does want?

And what I got her is an Aura digital picture frame. Oh, that's a better gift. Yeah. Oh, that's a better gift. Aura Frames was named the best digital picture frame. Oh, that's a better gift. Yeah. Oh, that's a better gift. Aura Frames was named the best digital photo frame by Wirecutter and featured in 495 gift guides last year. So the next time you need to call your mom, you can send her a new pic of you

from that trip you're telling her all about right from your phone. So I can sort of send photos of Beverly Shubidu blowing kisses, Beverly Shubidu sort of writing her letters. I can send it right to your house and she can see it in the photo frame. I know.

Your frame. I mean, the functionality is great. I don't love the execution of it. Adel, you wanna jump in here? Adel's on my side. Yeah, I'll say two years ago, I got my mom an aura frame. It's her favorite gift she's ever received. She won't stop talking about it.

Sometimes I'll come to visit her and she's like, why'd you come? I have all these photos of you, no need. So it's almost too good a gift, too good of a gift. Aura has a great deal for Mother's Day. For a limited time, listeners can save on the perfect gift by visiting auraframes.com to get $35 off, plus free shipping on their best-selling Carver Mat Frame.

That's auraframes.com, promo code RIDDLE. Support the show by mentioning us at checkout. Terms and conditions apply. Happy Mother's Day, Mariah, from Beverly Shoo-ba-doo. Shoo-ba-doo! And I trust you're going to play this for her? Oh, she won't listen. LAUGHS

This show is sponsored by Better Help. I say better you say help. I say better you say. Erin help. Oh sorry. Erin hey sorry um Adol he felt on a well. Oh. Emotionally. Okay you gotta be careful how you word things. I broke my emotional ankles. Oh Well, I don't have you tried better help. Oh, oh, yeah, I'll better help. Yeah, it's online therapy Mm-hmm with over 30,000 therapists better help is the world's largest online therapy platform, having served over 5 million people globally. Wait, BetterHelp? Yes, it's convenient too. You can do it from the bottom of a well. You can join a session with a click of a button, helping you fit therapy into your busy life,

or if you're a well. Plus you can switch therapists at any time. Yeah, and if your emotional well, let's see if I can land this plane. If your emotional well is full, Do it, do it. then you might want to use therapy as a way to kind of talk through some of those issues. Sometimes it can be helpful just to talk things out to hear yourself saying them. Therapy is not about solving, you know, specific problems, but it's about giving you tools so that you can, you know, kind of help solve your own issues as you go into the future. Wow, life is a well is what you're saying.

Yeah. And your well-being is worth it. Wow. We landed it. You're welcome. Yes. Well, well, well. Well, OK, we're landing it too much. Does that make sense? This kind of therapy has worked really well for me in the past. I like being able to message my counselor and have them get back to me

with a timely response rather than having to wait all week to talk to them. I love it. And if you've taken a long break from therapy or if you've never tried it before, why not now? Your wellbeing is worth it. Visit betterhelp.com slash Riddle today to get 10% off your first month. That's betterhelp, H-E-L-P dot com slash Riddle.

Can you guys throw down an emotional rope? No. We're very far away. Okay, bye guys. rope? No. We're very far away. Okay. Bye guys. All right Erin, I am hungry for some more riddles. Oh yeah? Well, I'm fresh out. Oh Erin, please. No more riddles. Oh. No more riddles. Erin, could you plant some more? Come back tomorrow. I guess I could plant some.

Oh, fine. Fine. I will do some. Matt, how are you feeling about riddles so far? I mean, better than you, if I'm being honest, you know. Finally, someone says what we all been wanting to say. I mean, it's new to me, so it's fun. But I can understand if you've been in Riddletown

for a little too long, it just says, you know, but I'm enjoying it. I think it's funny to track Erin's, just over the course of the last hour, her relationship to Reynolds has changed four or five times. It was like, she hated them, she committed herself to loving them, she had fun with one, and now she seems like done with the concept of them. She's going through Keebler's seven stages of Riddles.

I think that's why my niece flipped my ring around. She was like, girl, you're a mess. I don't know about all that. Aaron, you might want to check to see... It just depends on the riddle. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You might wanna take your rose quartz back to the store and see if maybe we could get it tested

because it feels like maybe. What, no, it works. No, it feels like the energy's off. A witch told it to me, it works. Aaron, which one do you hit? We need to play a game. Which one do you hit if you're like a wizard is approaching you in a parking lot?

Like, are you jamming that rose quartz? Are you hitting the alarm? Okay, I got some options. Is it your apartment key? You're like, come on over. Oh my God. I assume I'm gonna be using my bottle opener. Are we not having a beer together?

Yeah. I'm pretty sure it would be that. Big robes, big hat, two Michelob Ultras just walking across the parking lot to you. I got this bottle opener from a friend of the show, Jasper Cartwright, who was on our show a few years ago. Well, well, well. Also another head gummer.

Hey. How about that, everybody? Now every time you unlock your car, you think of your time together. Exactly, exactly. I also don't know how I feel about calling someone a headgummer I don't think I've heard it phrased that way before. What are we called?

I yeah, I don't know sounds pretty cool to me. I guess it's fine to be a headgummer I feel like if someone called me a headgummer in any other context. I'd be like fuck you. You don't know what I do Yeah Headgummer, it's what you are though. So Yeah, get it. A headgummer Yeah. Head gummer. It's what you are though, so. Yeah. A head gummer, it kind of sounds like what my baby went through before they, you know, grew teeth, like I'm like, yeah,

he's just like a little head gummer. Yeah. What about a choo-choo? Is that fun? You know, cause what do you do with gum? You chew it. Chew it. But you can't call someone a chew

cause that sounds like there's something more to come. So chew chew. Like a, sounds like a breed of dog of course, but. You're trying to get- I think what a train does. You're trying to get after like a swifty kind of fan base name like who are Lady Gaga's, the- The little monsters?

The little. Monsters I think? The monsters. The little monsters. We've had, I think. The monsters. The little monsters. We've had, what was ours? Horny lizards? We had a name for our fans. No, we had short lizards.

Future lizards. Future lizards. What was I thinking of? That is a thing, a horned lizard. They- That's right. Aren't those the ones that spit blood out of their eyes? Yeah, they squirt blood out of their eyes. What? Rare blood. Okay, that's gonna make me look young forever.

Yeah. If you violate that. I feel like both times rare blood has come up from Matt has been the one kind of pushing the rare blood agenda. Sort of a blood guy, I guess. Yeah. Matt, you have a new weird pet store, is that right?

You wanna put it up? Yeah. Well, Matt, do you, on the Extraordinarians podcast, do you have a name for your listeners yet? Well, the podcast is as we're recording this in real life, it has not come out yet. So we don't have any listeners, but.

No, I'm open to suggestions. I forgot we we had Tony on the show and it felt like so long ago, but I'm like, oh, yeah, we had Tony on the show to promote the show and his episode hasn't come out yet. Great. As of recording this, so it's not out yet. Okay, it could come out this week. Yeah, it's this week.

No, we don't have a name for Extraordinarians Nation yet, so please. Well, I'm sorry to say that Future Lizards is already taken, so you'll have to come up with something That is not future lizards. That's our domain. Okay, what about Swifties? Horny lizards, no Butterfly blood butterfly the butterfly blood lizards Well, but then you run up against the butterfly Crips, which is gonna be a real mess. Yeah. You don't want to, you don't, you really don't want to do that.

So, um, I lost my page in this book, so I'm going to wing it. I had, uh, I sometimes, what does that mean? I had it bookmarked and I had, and I can't find where I was, but I, I'm going to go, I I'm gonna read some other riddles from it. Oh, okay. From the lateral thing. Let the universe guide you to a riddle. Exactly. Yes. I'm using my rose quartz.

Yeah. To sort of guide me to what is supposed to happen next. Okay, so in this book, I would say these feel less riddles and more like, and Adel, I know you hate this, but more like facts that you sort of have to suss out and get to. So you're just gonna try to like think, like a lot of these are like historically significant

or real life examples, and you'll see what I mean. And you just sort of have to like suss out why. It's more like solving a little mystery. It's a classic lateral puzzle. There you go. And see, you're old, you know exactly what it was the whole time. I'm more of a vertical puzzle guy.

All right. You're old lad at this. Lad, of course, short for ladder. Okay. Why did Alexander the Great order all his men to shave? Why did Alexander Great order all his men to shave? Erin, I know it's not this. And it does help to say it, that sort of. Jaded. Why did Alexander Great?

Is this like the one where it's like the armies in the sleevies? No, it's not a joke. So these are not. It's not a joke. This, I can't tell, this is not a joke. This riddle book, some riddles are jokes. These are not jokes. These are, this is a a joke. So these are not- It's not a joke. This is not a joke. This riddle book. Some riddles are jokes. These are not jokes.

This is a real reason. I gotta be honest. In my mind's eye, I was picturing when Matt said it that way, I was picturing him pacing back and forth in court. Like he's making a case for the jury of like- Seersucker suit, dabbing his brow. Why? Why?

Did Alexander the Great order all his men to shame? Just that lawyer cadence of like, ladies and gentlemen. I did play a lawyer on TV in a Heart of Dixie and that show is set in the South and they were like, please come in with a Southern accent and I did like foghorn leghorn. It was the best.

Oh, we gotta hear it. Yoana, you know. And I was like, I said to the, I was like, I don't feel great about this accent. They're like, ah, it's fine, it's fine. And then I came back for another season and just stopped doing the accent. Nobody noticed or said anything.

Okay, I, sorry guys, I didn't, I'm a huge Veep fan, so I was already a little starstruck, and now that I know you were at Heart of Dixie, I'm gonna lose my fucking mind. I watched all of that show, and I cannot stress it enough, one sitting. Wow. One summer, one sitting. Wow.

I injected Heart of Dixie into my veins. It was COVID, you know, we were all going through rough stuff. Yeah, COVID, not not several years before that. Yeah, yeah, sure. Matt, I hope Daniel Craig follows your lead in the new, uh, in the new Knives Out. It's funny when you're watching a movie and you think like, it's going to be a bit that that accent is bad, right? And then the bit never, like Don Cheadle in that Ocean's 11, you're like, surely he's gonna.

Oh yeah. I feel like if accents on Heart of Dixie, everyone was swinging for those big Southern accents. So yours did, yours fit right in. Matt, the one we bring up the most, or at least JPC and I bring it up the most, is John Malkovich in Rounders. I don't know if you've ever seen that.

He plays like Tony K.G.B. or something. His accent is, Piedat meyany, zmeyany. Like syrupy Russian. Instagram served me up like a Matt Damon interview snippet. And it's always like, when you're so ashamed of what the algorithm is putting in front of you, but you eat it anyway. He tells a story about hearing Malkovich do that on the first day.

And John Malkovich looks at him and goes, I'm a terrible actor. That's so funny. Why did Alexander great? But this is a true thing that he really did. This is a true thing, yeah. Was it lice? No, but I like that you're thinking like this. The accent that has been popular in my house lately

has been the dealer from Casino Royale who's like, Mr. Bond, fold. Fold. That's pretty Mr. Bond, fold. Fold. That's pretty good. That's fun. When you guys are doing laundry. Why did Alexander the Great order all his men to shave? Is this something to do with like,

in battle, somebody can't pull their beard? Ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding. Is that real? You got it. That is literally what it is. Bearded men could be grabbed by the beard in close combat. I would like to see a scene. I'm just going off when I fight and I always yank on the beard.

Yeah. Beard balls back. The three B's. The three B's. The three B's. You gotta get rid of all of them. Matt and Adol, you are two of Alexander the Great's men, who clearly did not shave.

And JBC, you're Alexander the Great, sort of casting them out. All right, men. Today we ride to bat. What? What the? Chris, Trevor, to the front, both of you guys to the front.

Are we in trouble? Alexander, please, I was just, I'm trying to get ready for this here coming battle. No, no, and I know everyone's from all over because I'm a conqueror or whatever, but the rules apply, look, turn around. You guys face the rest of the army. What do you see?

Clean shaven faces? Yeah, I just thought they were young we said we were willing to shave in the audition so And I did not Here's some lemonade Can't can't and call me Sorry, Alex. Call me Donsider we're not friends, you and I. Okay, call me dumb, but can our opponents also just grab us by the hair?

Are we shaving our heads down too? What? Take your helmets off! Oh my god, you guys still have hair? I got a ponytail as long as the Missus of Error. Wow, I don't know where that is, but look. Okay, I guess everyone in the army. I'll tell you.

No, I don't want to know. I don't want to know. I guess everyone in the army is just doing their own thing. But you know what? That's not the way armies work, OK? It was the simple instructions, shave face, shave heads. And you know, it's just astounding that the two of you can't follow simple instructions what do you what are you hiding under those beards

I mean I have a weak chin you do as do I it is a shame I've carried all these years oh my god I I feel so close to you. I feel connected, tethered even. I would die for you. I would take a spear to the tummy for you. If you show me your weak chin, I will show you that. Wait a second, this gives me an idea for a new way to fight in combat. We put everyone with weak chins in the front lines, they die out, we don't have to worry about them

kind of messing up by like Alexander the Great gene pool with their weak recessive chins, huh? Weak chins, strong hearts. Weak chins, strong hearts, weak chins, strong hearts. Whatever guys. See, weak chins, strong hearts, can't lose. All right. That was fun.

That was fun. That was fun. I cannot believe that I'm talking to someone from Heart of Dixie, truly. Yeah. I'm the honorable lifetime. I'm thinking of someone from Heart of Dixie. Do you guys wanna guess what my character name was?

I can't wait. It's pretty good. Were you related to Lemon? I don't believe so. That's the only name I remember. Now was it like Percy or? It's close. I'm gonna guess it was Huxtable Primrose. It was.

Scooter McGreevy. Ooh. That rocks. Pretty good. Scooter McGreevy. Sounds like a new Denny's dish. Yeah. Were you a romantic interest for Rachel Billson on the show?

Oh, no, no. Never had the pleasure of sharing the screen with Rachel, but I was the romantic interest for someone briefly, and I forget who they were. Perfect. Yeah. Scooter McGrievereevy come a court me. Scooter McGreevy meet me in the gazebo.

Which gazebo? Pans out, the drone shot. Pans around in his 500 gazebo. I will say you guys, that show was, I'm not even kidding, mostly gazebos if you could believe it. Yeah. I'm not even kidding, mostly gazebos. If you could believe that. Well, I'm convinced the Warner Brothers produced that show because they have that famous backlot

from like Back to the Future that's a town square, with a big city hall. And they're like, we gotta shoot something in here. I would love if they had like a warehouse full of gazebos and like, we gotta offload these. We gotta make gazebos popular. Can we get a writer on the horn? My God.

So you filmed on the Back to the Future lot? Yeah, it's still, I mean. That's amazing. That's the Warner Brothers lot. It's all there. That's cool as hell. Yeah. All right, couple more riddles.

Yes, please. This time with a good attitude. I'm really back on board. Here we go. A boxer left. This time with a good attitude. I'm really back on board. Here we go. A boxer left the ring after winning the world championship. His trainer took all the money and he never got a cent. Why not? I know it.

Tell us. He never got a cent as in smell? No, he never got a cent as in money. Was this like Don King was a trainer? He probably got lots of cents because he's a dog. Oh, dog. Yes. Yeah.

Mystery solved. Bum, bum, bum. I was, in my brain, I was- Now that's a lateral puzzle. I was going all of the wrong directions. I was like, okay, scent, in other words, that's a smell, trainer, also a shoe. I'm like, I'm doing way more work

than needs to be out here. I'd like to see maybe one last scene. I don't know. Sure. JPC, you are one of those like classic cinematic trainers and Matt, you're the dog that he's giving a pep talk to before you get in the ring to box. Okay. I don't know.

I don't think I can go out there. It's gonna be rough. Okay, look, you don't have to win. That's all I'm saying. You just have to go out there and give it your all for four rounds and then go down. That's all you have to do, okay? No one's expecting you to win. Wait, are you saying I have to go down in the fourth or I should go down in the fourth? I'm not saying that you absolutely need to go down in the fourth, but if you felt like you could make it to the fourth, that would be kind of like ideal for like all the parties. You don't even... you could run around for a long time, because he's going to have to punch really low to hit you. Yeah, but wait a second. How big of a dog am I fighting here?

Oh, honey. Honey. No, no, no, no, no. You're going to be fighting a human. What? And here we go. We're in the fourth round, Evander Holyfield versus Oreo. And Evette, so far, Holyfield is absolutely demolishing Oreo oh and

here's a wind-up from Holyfield oh that looks like the trainer Oreos trainer in the corner is giving him a signal to sit roll over oh no what a scandal we're seeing here today folks wait is it? That's what I'm doing That was improvised by the way, yeah, I Would love a boxing commentator commentating live in a boxing match being like well, it looks like his trainer is having him throw the fight Just say that I've never been to a dog show and Never been to a boxing match either. Those would be great to go to.

What do you think you'd have a better time at? I've been to a cat show. Whoa. That was amazing. I like when they hold the cats like guns. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Lengthwise.

The cats are huge. I do that with my cats where I... I... I... uh... Cock them. Now, Adil, I felt a little trepidation if you... you not saying cock them and then you ended up saying cock them. I was trying to find a better term. No other way to say it. Yeah. Reload. I reload my cats.

Yeah. Like Henry Cavill reloads his arms with Mission Impossible. Shhh. Now, Matt, do you have any cats? I don't. We would. Everybody loves him. A yard full of butterflies. Yeah, but my wife's allergic.

And one of my daughters, so that would, it's a bummer. So we don't have any pets right now, but it's one of our goals. It's the best. Pets are the best. You gotta develop that cat inoculation. You gotta get those cat shots. And so eventually you can not be allergic to cats anymore. That works? I know no one who's ever done it,

but I do know that it is a service that can be done. But I also know that allergies just change over time. Cause I used to be allergic to cats, and I'm not anymore. I know someone that did it with dogs and it worked So Wow possible. That's it. They're secure. I had no idea Want to do one more riddle before we get to plugs and hear about your new podcast. Just real quick JPC Pounced on me saying I cocked my cat and yet would well you're pouncing on your What Aaron said I know someone who did it with a dog.

Oh, we leave. Suddenly we don't want to touch that, I guess, okay. She did say that, that's funny. She, look. Thank you. Erin said I know someone. My dog said me say dog and she jumped up. Erin said I know someone who did it with a dog. I knew that that was about me,

so I didn't want to jump on her. Okay, fair enough, fair enough. I'm just pointing every gun right back at me. All right, last riddle. Last lateral thinking puzzle. What took 19 years to get into itself? What took 19 years to get into itself? Is this like Frasier or like... Yeah, Frasier. I didn't start watching Frasier until season 7. They really hit their stride in year 19. You know, this is actually very good.

Oh, shut up, Niles. This is my Frasier. Denial's not just a brother on Frasier. 19 years to get into itself sounds like a college or something. Is this like the 10 years war? 10 years again. Yeah, Harvard didn't get into Harvard until it was 19. Was there a 10 years war? Was there a 10 years war? 10 years. Yeah, Harvard didn't get into Harvard until it was 19. Was there a 10 years war?

Was there a- There's a 100 years war. 100 years war. Great war. Is it some sort of time unit thing? Not a time unit. Is this something that's like a whiskey or like a wine that's like aged or something?

No, you guys are thinking really- Is this a poriporus? No, something you can hold in your hands. Oh, is it the universe from Men in Black where it zooms out and it's like on a cat's collar or something? That's what it is. It was like, I was like, Egger, this weird guy wearing an Egger suit.

Yeah. I often think people on the street might be wearing, is that what it's called, the Egger suit? Yeah, when they interviewed that woman and she's like, it looked like Egger, but he was wearing like an Egger suit. And he goes, D'Nafrio goes, give me sugar in water. Oh, that's pretty good, D'Nafrio. Is his name, is his name Edgar?

Is she trying to say Edgar? His name is Edgar, but she's like Southern. And she says Egger. For forever, I thought his name was- As an expert in the dialect. That's how you Agar I thought his name was like e GG er and I just didn't I just thought I was like what an interesting name for a Person I didn't understand that it was like Edgar before I lose it. Let me just Matthew Murdock Oh

Daredevil come here. It's me kingpin. I lost it Oh, daredevil, come here. It's me, Kingpin. I lost it. I don't know. Full metal jacket. Nah, I lost it. I don't know. Yeah, he famously says the title of the movie in that. If you don't leave me alone, I'm gonna go full metal jacket.

Yeah, what's your sort of key phrase for getting into that, Deno Frio? How do you lock in like that? Full metal jacket. Aaron, is, so the number 19, is that like super? That's not gonna be helpful. It's just- Okay, it's not. Like, it's something that... Is this like a book?

Yes. Is this the Bible? Yes. 19. It's the Bible? No, it's something like that. It took 19 years to get into itself. It might be second place to the Bible in itself. Dan Brown's Angels and Demons? Yes.

The New Testament. We talk about Angels and Demons and the Da Vinci Code so much on this show. Why is it, this is not as a culture anymore. Why does this come up so much? What is wrong with us? I would love it if you went to the airport and you saw a copy of the Da Vinci Code and it had big bold letters,

like a sticker on the front that just said, second popular to the Bible. Like, what? Not in the culture anymore. Okay, so it's a super popular book. And your own opinion is that it's the second best book, second to the Bible. And you're- Is it the Koran? Well, not in my opinion, and not my opinion that it's the second best book, second to the Bible. And you're-

Is it the Koran? Well, not in my opinion, and not my opinion, it's just- This is sales. Yes. In sales. And why would it be in itself? Is this a little boy wizard? The dictionary.

Why would it be in itself? It took 19 years to get into itself. It's the dictionary. No. The dictionary. Oh. Oh. Not the dictionary. The stories? No. The encyclopedia.

No, much more whimsical. Guinness Book of World Records. Guinness Book of World Records. The Guinness Book of World Records. Fuck that book. Whoa. Wait, what does it have the record for? Most Book of World Records?

Second most sold book of all time, which I thought, I don't know, I didn't realize that there was second place would get a spot in the book. Well, it does if you write the book. If you write the book, second place gets a trophy. Is that true? That lateral thinking book that I don't know where it's from

says so, it must be true. I do wanna see a quick scene. I wanna see a quick scene. Matt and Erin, you're a couple and it's December 31st and it's like 20 minutes till midnight. Your one goal for this year was to break a world record You're almost out of time. So you're panicking to try and find a record to break Okay, we're in so much debt

Trying all this stuff. Okay, maybe we're the most in debt forever Go trying to break a world record. No, the neighbors of you already did that. That's why we're competing against them. Okay, let's see. Most annoying, no. Best, no. Loudest. Oh yeah, loudest. Well, loudest.

Silliest. Angriest, no. Subjective. Okay of a subjective, uh. Um. Okay, we got ten seconds. Um. Okay, quickest. Uh. Ooh, yeah.

Yeah. We could do something so quick. What if we, um, hungriest? Hungriest. Peckish. I could eat, uh. Uh. Four.

Three. I want a divorce. Two. I love you. I know. Happy New Year. Scene. Scene. I love just going most, no. Busiest, no.

No. Least, least. The newspaper flash hits the screen and it's like most doomed couple. Well, Matt, we would love to hear about your new head gum pod, because you're a head gummer now. Was that lateral puzzle purposefully picked to segue into the theme of the podcast?

Twas. Pretty much. Oh wow, really good. Well, it's funny you should mention World Records because I am doing a podcast which I'm just learning to talk about now, so bear with me. But it's me and Tony Hale and from the been arrested development, that guy and Kristen Shaw

from everything, Bob's Burgers and play the Concord. Play the Concord. Yeah. And we speak to people who essentially have broken a world record, but could also have accomplished something in this sort of unlikely realm. So we've spoken, we have, you know, 20 minute conversations with people who have broke the record

for a highest slack line. This guy walked a slack line between two hot air balloons, so it wasn't the longest slack line, it was just elevation. A young man who did the most flips in one bounce from a trampoline. Whoa. Twin sisters who do a dog sled racing.

And we've, we've, you know, so this podcast comes out in April, which you know, your listeners won't. The distant past. Yes. But I honestly thought these conversations would, these people would be just wild, but they've been a lot more kind of inspiring and profound than I thought they would be. It's sort of about confidence and risk taking, uh, and, you know, being true to your own desire, or, you know, in a way that, um, yeah, these are people who, who have, you know,

are doing pretty out there things just to sort of please themselves, you know? Um, so yeah, and they're kind of funny as well. Maybe you guys have this experience as well, but it's kind of fun to have conversations with strangers that have kind of a time limit. You're like, oh, wow. So you get to sort of like speed data. You get to an insight into these people's lives.

You can kind of just ask them questions in a way that you can to sort of like speed data. You get to an insight into these people's lives. You can kind of just ask them questions in a way that you can't in a real world scenario. And then after whatever the allotted time is, you're like, okay, well, you got anything to plug? And there's no way to. Do you want kids or no? Cause that's gonna be a big deal for you.

Yeah, yeah. So yeah, that's the podcast and we have other little bits that sort of surround those interviews, but we'll see it's, you know, we're in that moment right now where we're like, I don't know what the reaction will be, but it was fun to make.

So it's kind of the best place to be, I feel like. Yeah, for sure. That's outstanding. Very excited. We'll check out Extraordinarians on HeadGum. We'll probably throw the link So it's kind of the best place to be, I feel like. Yeah, for sure. That's outstanding. I'm very excited to listen to it. Well, check out Extraordinarians on HeadGum. We'll probably throw the link in the show description as well, so you can just go right to our show description and link to their show.

Matt, thank you so much for coming on. It was an absolute blast. Thank you. That was so much fun. You guys are so funny and smart and great at talking. What do we have to plug? You're the first person to ever say that to us? Sarcastic Aaron do you have anything you need to plug? No, I got nothing at all. I

Want to plug Vincent D'Onofrio if you've never seen the cell Pretty pretty mind-exp movie, pretty trippy, great performance in that just, yeah, his whole sort of canon is pretty great. Yeah. And I'll just say very briefly that we're to remind people we're on tour this year. We're going to at least 10 cities. You can get tickets, HeyVertivertle.com slash live. And so we'd love to see you if you,

if we're coming to your city, we'd love to have you come to our show. Okay, Erin, can we open up that book and do one more lateral thinking problem? Because there's a favorite that you always pose at the end of an episode. Yeah, sure. I threw it on the ground,

so I didn't throw the book behind me. And so I will just say Jupiter and good night and goodbye. Now our grandparents in the music! One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten! The logo created by Emily Cardemus and Emily Nemouris! One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten! One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten! Whoa! Wow, Casey. Smash cut to a cat's asshole! That was... Casey. This is what you're missing with your... when your wife has...

Oh man. That was crazy. When your wife has cat allergies. That's what you're missing, man. Casey, I kid you not. That was a cat's asshole. That was a hyper close. You have to warn people.

You have to warn people before you show them a cat's asshole. We're sorry about Casey. We're horrified. We're so sorry about Casey. We'll fire him. We're so sorry. He's done. This is his last day. And I gotta tell you, if you read Tarantino's screenplays, so many of them are smash cut to a cat's asshole. Extreme close-up.

Yeah, they really have to reel him in. A cat's hairless... Casey, you're so desperate to get an after credits in every episode that you do shit like this, just so we have to put the cat's asshole thing up. What is your cat's name? That's Trey. Trey here, Trey sit.

Trey right there. Trey go boo. Yep. Perfect. Hey there nurses and hearse's. If you like that, you are going to love this week's Patreon. It's improv from a hospital. You can listen to that plus our entire back catalog at patreon.com slash heyrudelrudel by joining the Clue Crew for

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