Hey Riddle Riddle - Patreon Preview #289: Baby Got Brack[et]

Episode Date: September 20, 2024

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We're going to do some brackets today. I've got two different brackets for you guys. And again, you're going to have to work in tandem on this. So that you are going to each vote for your best option. And Casey's going to be our tiebreaker. So Casey, be ready to tiebreak, depending on what we do. Oh, he's ready. He's primed.

He's locked in, loaded. We took out Casey's voice box and replaced it with the Howard Dean screen. We should at some point, maybe in two or three years, we should take out the Howard Dean screen and replace it with the JD Vance whatever makes sense. Hey Casey, go ahead and go ahead. Hey, you know what? I said that you're the time breaker.

Take the next few minutes. You don't have to time break at all. Just go get the JD Vance whatever makes sense. That's all you need to do. That's all you need to worry about. That needs to be on the to be on you also upload him saying when they asked about like funding childcare Like maybe get grandma and aunts and uncles to pitch in Let's just say I want a full JD Vance soundboard. No, we're not doing the sad news episode. That'll come later No, please I want actually the full I want you to start playing the full clip of him in the donut side

Not even just the whatever makes sense. I want you worked here. the full clip of him in the donut shop. And not even just the whatever makes sense. How long have you worked here? How long have you worked here? We can't do the JD Vance episode until after the election because we need to be sure that JD Vance isn't the vice president. He's so entertaining. He's so bad.

If we do the JD Vance episode before the election, I feel like we're all just gonna feel really bad about that later. He's such a loser, guys. It's so good, isn't it? It's so good. I love it. Oh God.

Okay, I'm ready. It's huge, like, hello fellow teens, you know, energy too, where it's just like, just trying to be something he's not. And it's like, and the thing he's trying to be sucks. So it's like, oh boy, you're failing at being the thing that isn't even good to be. Yeah, and Trump hates him, clearly.

So it's just like, he's just such a fucking loser. Okay, well, so, all right, we're gonna do these brackets that I have prepared for you. And the only thing I need to get started is I need you guys to decide which bracket you want to do first. So I have one that is, I'll say movie based, and I have one that is commerce based. Those are your two, you know, general categories. Adel's two favorite things. Yeah, movies and commerce.

Well, not in that order. Addle, you pick. Erin, here's what I'll say. I've been quietly celebrating the term mental vegetables, which is something you said minutes ago. So I think whoever came up with mental vegetables, which is a killer phrase for things you need to think about that you don't want to, I think should be able to pick.

So Erin, that's you. Oh, it's so kind of you. Well, I, like you, I'm curious about what the fuck commerce means to JPC. So I'm gonna pick commerce. Okay, commerce is fun. So this is a bracket that I've been working on for a while, kind of just keeping a list on my phone.

And I finally got to 32 things for this bracket. So I said, Oh, I can stop there. That's that's enough. I think that some of these are weighted a little more unfairly, but this is going to be a free things bracket. Okay. So what I love that is 32 things that you can usually get without it costing any money to get.

And you have to pick your favorite among these things. Now, the caveat that I will say is that some of them are free in theory, but they actually require a purchase of something else in order to get this free. Free I'm using in trying to do kind of broad terms on free. Sure. All right, we won't be pedantic about it.

Yeah. So like library cards, syphilis, like this. Advice. More that goes into, yes, yes, yes. Yeah, and I also tried to make these free things not like something that just you can do with your free time, like a smile. Smile doesn't cost you anything.

This is like a- For me it does. For Aaron. The way my face is shaped, it costs me like 70 or 80 calories to muster a smile. Whatever the opposite of perked up, Erin did that. But what I mentioned that smiles are free. They're not.

I do like the term. Next time I'm being an awful person walking down the street and I see a woman past me, I'll be like, muster a smile, sweetheart. Mustered. Mustered a smile. Mustered a smile. Mustered a smile. The other thing that I did was I, these are in no particular order. I didn't see them at all.

I just hit randomize and then threw them in the bracket. So here's your first one. So yeah, these are all like a tangible thing. Hopefully that doesn't cost you anything. Cool. Your first round, a free ride versus those little free samples that you get at an ice cream store. Whatever makes sense.

Casey? Okay, nine minutes into the episode. There's so much time to get that clip. I've talked about it before, but the way I have to pull clips actively while you guys are recording. Oh my god, I don't want your fucking dissertation Casey. No, no, you need to hear this. Casey, you just could have said it in a voice with confidence.

The way I have to do it. Hey Casey, whatever happened to you? Coming right up, sir. Service with a smile. I have to record the audio on my computer, and so I've been waiting, I've been repeating whatever makes sense, hoping to get it in between a pause of your speaking for the past several minutes and you guys have not paused long enough for me to actually capture the clip. Okay. Let's pause.

Let's pause. Let's pause. We'll pause. We'll pause. We'll pause. All right here. All right. Um, and it's at one oh seven in this video.

So hold on. Okay. And I have it and I'm just going gonna make a quick cut and edit of that. Incredible. But you guys can go ahead and do your episode. I almost said fart noise. Can we? Can we do our episode?

I almost said fart noise during the sentence. My god. Oh, unless Casey you want to get on mic and tell us more about how your work works? Jesus fucking Christ. You think I stopped the show to tell you about how I'm having a bunch of great ideas, Casey? Oh no. Erin. Keep talking JPC, We're dying to replace you. And obviously Casey cut all that stuff out. Make it seem like I'm very nice to you.

JPC's having his Christian Bale moment again. Again? Yeah. Well, his Christian Bale slash David O'Russell moment. He's always yelling at Lily Tomlin in Cameraman. It makes me so crazy. This is so much better than my Mel Gibson moment. I'm so glad that's beyond me. Yeah. I have things, I have thoughts.

I have things to say before Adelkast says vote. Okay. My initial instinct is when you read this list, I was like, I bet free ice cream samples is gonna be in the top four. But I was thinking about when you think you're going to have to pay for an Uber or take the train on a cold day and someone offers you

a ride home, that feels pretty awesome. That is a really good feeling. So I just wanted to, I don't know, slightly endorse the free ride. I do think know, slightly endorse the free ride. I do think that the idea of a free ride has certainly changed as I've got, like when I was a kid, like a free ride or like in high school, I was like, okay, that's fine. But now as an adult to be like, oh yeah, you'll just give me a ride to this place? So much more valuable.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I agree with that. I think especially given who is asking these questions, I feel like JPC you're the king of freerides There's a lot of times where it's like put it that way There'll be a there'll be a Sunday where it's like, oh, we're gonna go play rush We're gonna play games that rushes place downtown and I'm like, I want to play so bad But getting downtown is such a task and then JPC's like hey, I'll pick you up in half an hour. I'm like beautiful

Yes, I I like I don like, I don't love driving anyway. I feel like it's like one of these necessary evils of living in the society, but it's much better if my car is full of people and I have to drive somewhere than if it's just me driving somewhere in my car. So I like giving rides in that respect. Okay, but free rides versus ice cream samples. What are we going with?

I think free rides. I think I'm going free rides. I cannot even believe it. Wow! we going with? I think free rides. I think I'm going free rides. I cannot even believe it. Wow! I'm shocked. I'm shocked. That is crazy.

Ice cream samples going out in the first round. Because you know what? With ice cream samples, I'm about to eat ice cream. I'm not going in there sampling them and then being like, gotta go. Erin, you walk into an ice cream store knowing what kind of ice cream you want? Of course.

I mean, never in my life have I done that. Whatever makes sense. Oh my God, whatever makes sense. Vanilla, chocolate, whatever makes sense. Wait, can we get it clean, Casey? Oh, it's worse than I remember. He throws it away. All right, here's your next one.

Free public restroom versus free Olive Garden chocolate slash chocolate mint thing that they give you at the end of a meal. Restroom. Aaron going restroom immediately. Adel, what are you about to say? Well, here's the thing. That little chocolate?

This is, it's like it comes down to this, but I'm sort of the prince of holding it. I'm able to mentally go somewhere else and not have to be a boon. Hey man, don't tell that to people. I'm the king of free rides and Adel's the prince of holding it. This is like the shittiest kingdom in the history of.

Hey Adel, keep that shit to yourself, man. Well, I already made t-shirts. How do we move these? I'm the prince of holding it. That is really funny. It sounds like we're working towards Casey's first tiebreaker. Yeah, I feel like I don't need,

almost never do I need a restroom in public. Your ability to live in suffering because you're so polite is not. In my past life, I already talked to my witch and I was Thomas Becket, the martyr who was murdered in Kincard Cathedral. Makes sense. Yes, my mole hair sweater.

What was, it was holding, sorry, it was public restroom or what was the other option? Yeah, public restroom or holding it. Which one would you rather do? No, public restroom or the little chocolate mint thing that they give you at Olive Garden at the end of a meal. I gotta say, those mints are really good. And last time I went to Olive Garden,

it was with Casey and our waiter gave us like 20 of those mints and was just like, go nuts. The mint? Yeah, Casey's taking the mint. And it's not, there is a thing called the Andy's Mint, but the Olive Garden one is proprietary. It's their own, I don't know if it's just a repackaging of that, but it's their own technology.

You know what, this doesn't matter. I know what's gonna win this bracket, and it's chips at a Mexican restaurant. So, do whatever you want, chips is gonna win. Erin and it's chips at a Mexican restaurant. So do whatever you want chips is gonna win Erin Erin called her shot babe Ruth that one two three four hate riddle riddles Listen to the rest of the episode now by starting your free seven-day trial at patreon.com slash. Hey riddle riddle