Hey Riddle Riddle - Patreon Preview #293: The Mumbles Ultimatum (Spooky House of Horrors pt. 3)

Episode Date: October 18, 2024

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Adol, Aaron, wake up, wake up, wake up. What's up, what's up? Oh my god, I think we fell asleep on the porch of the haunted house and it looks like someone moved us into a basement. And it's kind of like a, we're in like a kill room, like a, guys, wake up. Hold on. Kill room? How about, how about Aaron, how'd you sleep? How about Aaron? What'd you dream?

How about and are you cold You look you look super cold. I mean we're all saying we're all cold We fell asleep outside on a porch hold on hold on hold on hold on you're going too fast All right last thing I remember was we- Should we get coffee? Yes, okay, let's get coffee. But first, coffee. Last thing I remember, okay, we had- Aaron, how'd you sleep?

Ch-ch. Thank you, Addle. Thank you, Addle. You guys, hold on, wait a second. Am I running out to get the coffee or are you guys coming with me? When I said let's get coffee, I wasn't like, I don't wanna go alone.

I hate going alone to get coffee. Well, why offer to get coffee if you're not gonna get his coffee? I wasn't offering to get coffee, I was offering for us to's get coffee, I wasn't like, I don't want to go alone. I hate going alone to get coffee. Well, why offer to get coffee if you're not going to get his coffee? I wasn't offering to get coffee. I was offering for us to go get coffee. I was like to do the whole... Okay. All right, hold on. Let me just, I'm getting my bearings. Last couple weeks, we were supposed to go into Uncle Mumble's mansion, haunted mansion, to stay overnight to get a million dollars. We didn't quite make it in those two times. We made it over the fence and onto the porch. We started laughing. We started smoking some weed.

We started hanging out and we fell asleep. We are in a basement. We're in a cold, scary basement. Now we are waking up. JBC is offering to get us coffee. He is on go buy us coffee I'm a man of the basement I'm halfway up the steps and I realized that my friends are not coming with me so I'm like am I going to get the coffee and then like What the fuck like am I ordering it like no one even gave me an order I know exactly how you like it, but that's neither here nor there wait. Let me look up

There's okay coffee coffee in the area. Oh, it looks like that's neither here nor there. Oh wait, let me look up, there's, okay, coffee, coffee in the area, oh, it looks like there's a coffee place that is 38 feet from here, it's called Uncle Mumble's basement coffee bean? Oh, I don't wanna go there, it's got four stars. I think I can see it. That's really good. I think I see it from here. Four stars? Out of five?

Yeah, but there's like 300 reviews okay read some of them let's read a five-star review and let's read some one-star reviews okay cuz we cuz sometimes when people write a one-star review it like says so much more about that person sure okay here's a five-star review coffee exclamation point okay yeah I don't know. How do you feel about that? Um, honestly, that makes me feel kind of neutral. I don't really have any idea about that. This is a five-star review and this says, um, they're a local guide.

So I think you can only get local guide status if, like, you, like, write good reviews. Oh, okay, okay. Okay, so this is five-star. The title is coffee with an exclamation point. Okay, and there's no review in the body. So it's just Honestly someone just heard this is someone did it a few times. Okay. Here's a three star review kind of middle Yeah, yeah, it's the middle of the road. Let's see. Let's see. This one just says coffee Okay, you know, yeah coffee period period, not exclamation point. No. Maybe that's what gave it the three stars.

Should we read a one-star review? Sometimes these are just like, okay, here's one. It's a one-star review. This is from Dwayne. Worst coffee! But what's the, what sort of period, exclamation point, question mark? Yeah, it's just all caps. Oh. Speaking of Dwayne

Have you guys ever heard that joke? That's like? Knock knock who's there Dwayne Dwayne who Dwayne the bathtub the baby's drowning. Oh my god That's awful. Oh My god, that's awful. Also. That's not the quickest way to save the baby, right? Just pick the baby up at what why do we do the Dwayne the like Dwayne the tub is gonna take forever Yeah, yeah, I know that you know what that joke has a lot of holes in it Yeah, it doesn't hold up. Yeah, which yeah, which the bathroom had a lot of holes that it would Dwayne quicker It doesn't okay. Yeah, let's just go here. Um hey. Are you I'm sorry you guys open

Yes We are open okay great um four to four fifteen I have no idea what time it is we just woke up here. I have no idea what time it is four oh eight Oh, oh my god perfect timing. Perfect timing. Perfect timing. Perfect timing. What do I want? Do you guys have any croissants? No.

What about a croissant? Do you have a croissant? No. OK, sorry, Erin. Do you guys do like matcha? No. Do you do pastries of any kind? No.

Ice coffee? Coffee. Yeah, coffee. Iced coffee. Iced coffee, do you have ice? No. So just drip coffee, just Ice coffee? Coffee. Yeah, coffee. Iced coffee. Iced coffee, do you have, no. So just drip coffee, just hot coffee? Yes. What kind of roast do we have?

Is it like a light, a medium, a dark? Coffee. Just coffee. Coffee, okay. Okay, D source is like whole bean or coffee? Okay, we got that. Hey, hey, Aaron and JPZ. Yeah, what's up?

Would you guys say this is like, do you say this is like a skeleton? Or like, what do we think this is? Is he like a skeleton? I wanted to say skeleton, but I didn't wanna be rude about his appearance, because his appearance is clearly a look. No, no, guys. Aaron, ask him, ask him. No, no, no, no, because it's clearly a look no no guys Aaron ask him ask no no no because he shoves Aaron to the front hi um I think we'll take three

of those coffees and um are you single no sorry are you sort of... Oh, mixed messages. I see that you have a, um... Shift change! A price tag on your... Shift change! Heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh have a good 80, 100, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, already paid, wink. I just counted down my drawer. Oh shit. So. Nobody paid. Aaron just paid again.

Ugh, okay. We will take three coffees please, sir. Sorry, no more coffee. What? Let's hold out. No, we just switched to our lunch menu. What? What, so for the lunch menu. It's 4.09, we switched switch to our lunch menu What so for the 409 we switch to lunch menu do you have pastries? No Sandwiches no sandwiches. What do you what do you what do you what do you coffee coffee? Oh?

What the fuck lunch coffee, okay, that's fine. Yeah, we'll take that. What's the difference? Are they decaf or something? What do you mean? I don't know. You don't know? How long have you worked here? Aaron, he just works here. Ask him a piece of skeleton.

No. Aaron, ask him a piece that pushes Aaron to the front. Hi. Hi, three coffees? Yeah, three coffees to go please and I... Here. Have to drink here no, I only have three cups yeah exactly If I take my cups no one else could have coffee today, why don't you have to go cups?

I don't know. I just work here. You should know these things if you- You guys, someone else needs to take over. I'm freaking out. I'll take over. Um, yeah, we'll just do- we'll do three coffees. Lunch coffees. Three lunch coffees and we'll do it for here. Shift change. Oh my god. 20, 40, 60, 80, 100, 120, 120, 60, 80, 100, 200, 100, 100, 100, 100, 100, 100, 100, 100, 100, 100, 100, 100, 100, 100, 100, 100, 100, 100, 100, 100, 100, 100, 100, 100, 100, 100, 100, 100, 100, 100, 100, 100, 100, 100, 100, 100, 100, 100, 100, 100, 100, 100, 100, 100, 100, 100, 100, 100, 100, 100, 100, 100, 100, 100, 100, 100, 100, 100, 100, 100, 100, 100, 100, 100, 100, 100, 100, 100, 100, 100, 100, 100, 100, 100, 100, 100, 100, 100, 100, 100, 100, 100, 100, 100, 100, 100, 100, 100, 100, 100, 100, 100, 100, 100, 100, 100, 100, 100, 100, 100, 100, 100, 100, 100, 100, 100, 100, 100, 100, 100, 100, 100, 100, 100, 100, 100, 100, 100, 100, 100, 100, 100, 100, 100, 100, 100, 100, 100, 100, 100, 100, 100, 100, 100, 100, 100, 100, 100, 100, 100, 100, 100, 100, 100, 100, 100, 100, 100, 100, 100, 100, 100, 100, 100, 100, 100, 100, 100, 100, 120, 140, 60, 80, 100, 200, okay, yeah, have a good shit. Thank you, have a good.

Okay. You? Sort of feels like Aaron didn't get to be a monster, that's fine, that's fine, that's actually fine. We will take three dinner coffees, please, to go. Uh-uh, not dinner. What is it? What kind of coffees do we have available to us to order?

From 410 to 415, late night menu. Oh. Okay, what's on your late night menu? Do you have a croissant? Mini pizza? No. Mini pizza? No. Chicken figure? No. Chicken nuggets? Late night menu. No.

Coffee? No. No coffee either? French fries. No. Really, only- what do you have? No. Mini pizza. I think- I said mini pizza. No. Oh, we did- You said mini pizzas.

Oh, you have one mini pizza. One mini pizza. We will take three mini pizzas. No. We will take one mini pizza. Yes. To go. No. Here. I only have three cups. No, that's- you're not serving us a pizza and cups. Yes. Tizzy, go. No, here. I only have three cups.

No, that's- you're not serving us a pizza and cups. Yes. It's a new pizza, Erin. Are you a skeleton? Whoa. Erin. What? You guys want me to ask?

Not this guy. Sir. Take sign open to closed. No! You're closing four minutes! Oh! Erin, what the fuck? What the fuck, Erin?

That was obviously a gremlin. 1, 2, 3, 4, Hey Riddle Riddle's Clue Crew. Listen to the rest of the episode now by starting your free seven day trial at patreon.com slash heyriddleriddle.