Hey Riddle Riddle - Patreon Preview #322: Midland General Hospital

Episode Date: May 9, 2025

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Morning morning how's everybody feeling today? Somebody's chipper. I've been here for 10 hours so I got you know. Oh shit Tad I'm sorry. Nah it's okay yeah. It was actually honestly it was a pretty chill night. Oh Annie don't, Annie don't. Sorry Tad you were saying it was a chill 10 hours?

Well not like a chill 10 hours but it just just, it wasn't as like, you know, it wasn't as hectic as, you know, as it can get in here. Oh yeah. Especially for a Saturday night, right? Like it's. Oh yeah. Yeah, yeah. I slept in my own house in my own bed. Whoa, that's, Annie, that's pretty cool.

Wait. Yeah, you did too, right? Wait, Annie, what do you mean? I'm saying that's my big update for me. We're all sort of going over our last ten hours. You said you had a pretty chill time here at the hospital, and then... No, I said... You're on shift. You went home and slept in your bed?

Yeah, and definitely in her... she went to her place and slept in her bed. Wait, what? Is that what you said? Yeah, I went to my place and I slept in my bed. Yeah, me too. That's the same. Well, yeah, Doug, that's fine for you because you weren't on shift, but Annie, you were on. I saw you multiple times throughout the night.

Huh. Were you going home? Were you driving home? Hmm. Also, here is a toothbrush. Oh, yeah. If you need one or something. And do you have like extra glasses at your place? I will look for those. We know that you guys are sleeping together. We all know.

Whoa, what? Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. The hospital strictly forbids any employees sleeping together. It's forbaden. It's forbaden, so. It's not, it's truly not. It's not? No, because you guys are, you're both residents. So like, you. So it's not, it's truly not. It's not? No, cause you guys are, you're both, you're both residents.

So like, you know, it's, it's fine if you sleep together. Nobody cares about that. Yeah, but we're both married. Well, yeah, but I mean, it's not, it's immoral, but it's not like against like hospital. There's no like, you know, hospital morality clause. Oh, okay. Like we have to be ethical, but we't have to be moral, if you understand.

Yeah, we can like go home during shifts when we're a little tired. That, that, no. That, no. You have to sleep here at the hospital. No, this is all the same stuff. That's all the same stuff. If you want to go get Taco Bell mid-shift, you can go. If you want to go sleep with someone that isn't your husband, you can. No, you can't leave to go to Taco Bell you leave you don't do it doesn't mean people don't and can't and chance do it you know it was a kind of chilled night but if something goes wrong you're a doctor you're here working you have to be it's an emergency room if something

goes wrong people are gonna be happy that I'm reenergized by sex and Taco Bell is what I'm saying that I'm in a good mood from all the sex and Taco Bell. I smell sex and Taco Bell. Doug, Doug. Nobody gets energized from sex and Taco Bell, okay? Okay, well you're doing it wrong if you're not. I read a study, okay, I read a study that said when doctors have just eaten high caloric fast food, operations are

97% more successful. So you read that study? I read that study. It was done by I believe it was the Yale. The Yale study. You believe the Yale put out that study? I think so. I think I believe it. I think I believe it too. Yeah, that's fine. And it's fine and it's fine Here's what I'll say I'm not your boss, you know, I'm just another resident in the program as well Nobody cares that you're sleeping together even though that you're both married. That's totally fine. I don't care about that Okay, you got to stop leaving the hospital when you're on shift. You have to stay at the hospital the whole time You're on shift. Okay, unless it's for Taco Bell or sex, I will not leave the hospital.

Yeah, we each get two sort of caveats. And here's the thing, Ted. I feel like the problem is, Annie and I grew up, Scrubs is our favorite show. And I feel like... It's all of our favorite shows. We thought working in a hospital

would be way more like Scrubs. The janitor here is so nice to us. He's so nice, it's really weird. That's the big difference? We don't break out into song as much, except for what I just said. I smell sex at Taco Bell. I'm gonna go get some breakfast burritos from Taco Bell.

Grab me one, yes, yes, yes. The Taco Bell breakfast menu is awful. Says who? That's the consensus. Says who? Why didn't you think that it would be more like ER or house or like one of those like drama hospitals? What are they called?

We work in an ER and I live in a house. You're tired, you're acting crazy. I am tired. Okay, you know what? I'm tired, I'm overreacting. Here's the thing. I only have a couple hours left on my shift. I'm just gonna stay, I'm just gonna work it and this is not my business. If an

administrator talks to you about it, that's another thing. But it's not my business so I just won't get involved. Okay and just both of our significant others work here so I'd say just easy on talking about us sleeping together. Yeah be cool. Can you be cool? I brought it up just to say that everyone knows. I imagine your spouses know about this. They have to know. No they don't. You brought the toothbrush here to work. Why wouldn't you just leave the toothbrush? Why would you bring the toothbrush to work and hand it to her at work?

So his wife doesn't see the toothbrush? Yeah I'm not stupid. I actually do have to grab those glasses. I have to go home and grab glasses. Can you give me some Taco Bell on the way back? Hondo P. Thank you so much. Baja Blast for the road, please. Of course, from a lady. And Tad, here's the thing. My wife does the cat scans.

My wife does the cat scans, okay? And there's something about her fillings and the cat scans where it almost feels like every day she has a new memory, okay? So she does not know that I'm sleeping around. Okay, I mean, I can't, it is not. She's getting rattled by the machinery. She shouldn't be in the cat's skin.

Something's happening in her brain, she's getting scrambled. She should be in that room behind the cat's skin, right? Can I do an impression of you really quick? She gets, I don't. Everyone's supposed to be professional. Blah, blah, blah, everyone should do everything by the book, blah, blah, blah. Stitches should be one centimeter apart. Blah blah blah.

We should try not to kill the patients. Blah blah blah. I know what you guys are trying to do, but it just kind of does feel targeted because I am gay. Whoa! This is like scrubs! This is like scrubs! This is not like scrubs. I'm a gay character. We have a gay character. No, no, I'm not a gay character. Whoa, whoa. Doug, look, hey, you know what? It doesn't matter, again, this is, by the way, the longest I think I've ever talked to either one of you. Or both of you.

I've probably kind of met you in passing. What were we talking about? Oh yes, good morning. Hey mama, looks like you are seven centimeters dilated. It's just be a couple more hours. Okay, good, good, good. And then we'll be ready to push. How are you feeling? I'm a little nervous.

I'm a little upset my husband's not little upset. My husband's not here. I think he might be in the hallway. He's he's playing video games on his. He brought his switch. Yeah. Yeah. Yes. He. I guess Chrono Trigger or Chrono Cross. Some game got remastered and he said he had to play it before before his friends did so but it's fine we're happy and I'm pregnant and the baby's coming so yeah do you

have a husband do you have a do you have a husband I do he is actually Mike one of my sons has a soccer tournament so they're out of state all together they're sort of spending time together could you just and I'm so sorry I just feel like I there's a I have a lot of just sort of hormones and everything. Of course, yeah, yeah, yeah. Do you mind saying something negative about your husband? Because I just said I feel bad about kind of dissing my husband. So if you said something bad about your husband, I feel much better. Oh, well, when my husband packs my lunch every day, he puts these really intricate notes in my lunch box and sometimes people can read them and I feel like I'm like ah yeah people can see it when I have my note falls out of my lunch box okay he can he calls you

like a cut in those or something no he doesn't call me a cunt in those um but he does like talk about how he values me and loves me and thinks I'm a really good mom and partner But you know what? So yeah, okay your husband puts little notes my husband puts little notes in my lunch sometimes and it's a lot of like Reminders, so it'll say like wash jeans His jeans fixed lamp. Yeah, it's a lot of what happened to the lamp he He was playing VR. He was playing beat saber

He swung wildly yeah and broke it broke a lamp. Yeah. Okay, so we get We get a lot of these husbands in here the state of the world sort of how low standards can be for men Do you want me to say something I can go out there world sort of how low standards can be for men. Um, do you want me to say something? I can go out there and sort of maybe Tell him that mess with the machinery or something. Oh actually if you don't mind Dr. Lawrence that would be that would be actually very kind to you. I would love to and Call him don't call him Peter. I know that's on the records it says Peter, call him Petey. Okay. Otherwise he'll snap.

Got it, got it. Hey! Petey! Oh, good. Are you the lamp tech? Because I wasn't even touching the lamp, but it is, as you can see, broken. Yeah, you broke it, you broke it. Shouldn't even be a lamp out here, really. Heard you downloaded a new game today, Peter. How's your new game? Kinda overstepping things for a lamp tech.

I'm good, I could just use more light cause I didn't get the OLED back. What, what, what, what? Listen, motherfucker. Look at me, look at me, look at me, Petey. Look at me. I will pump you full of poisonous drugs. I'm peeing.

Get your fucking shit together. Yeah, pee you little idiot. Pee, idiot. It feels good. No, no, no. Oh, I like this. Oh, something's awakening in pee. No, no, no pee. Yeah, yes.

Alright, throws you down on the ground. Smashes Nintendo Switch over my knee. Yes, break it. Break it more. Oh, this is awful. Never mind. Break it for me. Break it for me.

No, no, don't leave. Wash jeans. 1, 2, 3, 4, Hey Riddle Riddle's Clue Crew. Listen to the rest of the episode now by starting your free seven day trial at patreon.com slash heyriddleriddle.