History Hyenas with Chris Distefano and Yannis Pappas - 1 - Intro to History Hyenas
Episode Date: February 23, 2018Chris Distefano and Yannis Pappas get WILD and talk about who the History Hyenas are and what this podcast is all about.Want more Hyena content? Check out www.patreon.com/bayridgeboys w...here things get really WILD!Follow us!: 🙆🏼♂️🐕🙆🏻♂️🙆🏼♂️Chris Distefano on Instagram, Twitter, website🙆🏻♂️Yannis Pappas on Instagram, Twitter, website🐕History Hyenas on Instagram, Twitter, website Subscribe to the poddy woddy on YouTube, iTunes, Spotify, and HH Clips
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What's up? I'm Chris DiStefano, a.k.a. Chrissy D, a.k.a. King Gay.
You're listening to the Bayackles of wild hyenas, because this is the first
episode of the highly touted, much anticipated History Hyenas with Chris DiStefano and Giannis
Pappas.
Yes, that was beautiful.
We love that song because we love hyenas, and so we wanted to have a cackle in there,
and then freestyle music because Giannis is famous for creating a Latino character, and freestyle-
Latina.
Latina.
Latina, and freestyle music is basically the heartbeat of Puerto Rico.
It's the heartbeat of Puerto Rico in Brooklyn, the Bronx, and Queens.
Yes.
I don't know if it's big in Puerto Rico.
It's probably big.
Freestyle music is great music.
Italians loved it, too.
I love- yeah, well, Italians love Puerto Ricans.
That's why I got a half Puerto Rican, half Italian baby. That's what we do.
We have sex, we mate, we create a child,
and we ruin each other's lives. Your baby's
basically freestyle music. My baby is freestyle
music, and she's a fucking hyena because she
eats Nutella 24-7. Yeah.
We named the podcast History Hyenas because
we are obsessed with hyenas.
The animal. Yeah. Not the
cartoon from Lion King or whatever. The real thing.
The real animal of
ahina because it has no lineage it's savage it's savage its main weapon is chaos like the joker
like the joker and it stinks it eats its food its teeth the way it eats food a lot of animals like
a lion will just eat flesh what a hyenaena does, it eats flesh and bone. And because nobody can digest that, because you're a fucking wild maniac, if you can digest
flesh and bone, its stomach can't take the content.
So it throws up the food it just ate and then eats its own fucking vomit like a wild hyena.
Just a wild, disgusting animal that every time Giannis and I look in the mirror, that's
what we see.
Yeah, it's a disgusting animal, but it's also a fascinating animal no animal represents nature
as much as a hyena no because it it it it it's you know with its own weapon being chaos it
inadvertently or maybe on purpose sacrifice somebody a hyena dies every time they hunt
because it'll just it's just 10 hyenas
running around wild and a lion will kill one of them and then while that one's being killed the
other hyenas will jump and start eating its balls yeah they are by any means necessary that's their
that's the way they hunt they will hunt they will hunt they'll pursue and hunt wear something down
with chaos they'll also overtake a lion kill by just tiring a lion down. A lion will do all the hard work, kill the animal, and then the hyenas will come in a
pack of 50, cackle, dust flying everywhere.
One will go in there, start biting at the lion or the lioness.
The lion will kill that one, but while it's killing that other one, guess what?
The other 49 are eaten.
Yeah, and it's unbelievable.
If you go Google hyena videos, there's a hyena video, Yannis and I found, where a hyena literally
has half its left ear bitten off
and one of its back legs,
and it's still trying to kill the lion.
Yeah.
It just will not fucking stop.
And then hyenas,
once you get injured that way,
you get shunned from your herd.
And then you're just wild alone.
You're just a lonely fucking hyena.
I think almost every hyena,
if you live long enough,
will get shunned from its herd.
Probably. Yeah.
And then have to do it alone. How about that
meme where the hyenas, like,
they're trying to take down a big buffalo. There's a
meme of it. Yeah. It's not a meme.
It's a video. It's a gif. You're
75 years old. That's true. You mix up the words.
Well, it was a video that was turned into a gif. You can
gif it. I've gif-ed it to you. Yeah, you have
gif-ed it. I have gif-ed it. Gif, jift.
Jif. Is it jif or gif? I think it's gif.
Gif. Yeah, but when you say, it sounds like
you're saying gifted because you have snooze in your mouth. I'm snoozing
on my knee. Yeah, you're fucking, you still,
it's like chewing tobacco. Or as... You're like Ty Cobb.
Who called, oh, I was on
Brilliant Idiots podcast. Great podcast.
Shout out to Andrew Schultz and Charlamagne Tha God.
Akash. Oh, and Akash.
He said something funny. He called it cuck dip,
which was hilarious. Cuck dip is funny.
Cuck dip is smooth.
Yeah, we love cuck.
We're obsessed with the word cuck on this podcast.
Yeah, because it's Swedish snooze, so you don't have to spit.
It's cuck.
You do, and I've told you this before.
I'm a cuck bad.
You're a cuck bad, and I've told you, you're born and raised in Brooklyn.
Yeah.
Okay, and you got that bop to you and that weight to you.
And if you couldn't tell, by the way, he sounds like Edith from Archie Bunker's show.
He's born in Brooklyn, too.
Born in Brooklyn.
But I'm from another part.
I'm from the blue collar working class part of Brooklyn.
You're from the more affluent part of Brooklyn.
So if I don't know, if I was walking past you in the streets, I would say that guy's got,
you got one of the worst cases of whistleblower face I've ever seen in my life.
You look like you want to write an article shaming people bad.
And your face looks like you should be hanging off the back of a garbage truck.
Yeah, I look like the kind of guy that I come in
and I fucking tell you that you got termites.
That you make six figures in life
does not match your face.
It doesn't, right?
You have strong government benefits face.
I got fucking, I got, yeah.
You are the Goodwill Hunting of Ridgewood.
Yeah, I got welfare, I take the bus face bad.
Yeah, you do, yeah.
Yeah, but I'm telling you,. Bad. You do. Yeah.
But I'm telling you, you're a bigger anomaly than me.
Why?
Because, dude, you seriously look like a feminist lesbian.
When you come out, you look like all you want to do is march on D.C.
Bad.
Yeah.
That's all you want to do is march around and fucking fight for lesbians because that's what you are.
Do your friends think you're gay because you hang out with me?
Yeah. They say, yeah. Yeah. Well, they think you're gay because you hang out with me? Yeah.
They say, yeah.
Yeah.
Well, they think I'm gay because I'm scared of the dark.
And you do comedy.
You do theater.
Yeah.
Well, yeah.
Because I took all the union jobs.
I took all the civil servant jobs.
You know, fireman, cop.
I took all that.
Got into all of it.
But because I didn't go, they think I'm a fag bad.
Yeah.
Because I pursued my dream.
They're like, you take it in the ass.
My friends have accused me of being gay.
Yeah.
And I'm sorry to use the word accused.
I may, that's the wrong verbiage nowadays.
Being gay is fine.
There's no problem with being gay.
Yeah.
But they, to my friends, there's a problem being gay.
Well.
Because they're probably gay.
Yeah.
To your friends, anything that's not doing what they're doing is kind of gay, right?
That's it.
Yeah.
Because I'm not a cop.
Voting for Hillary, gay, right?
Oh, yeah.
Voting for Hillary, gay.
And they told me, because I have bad anxiety, they told me that anxiety is a problem specifically
for the Democrats.
They said, if you're a Democrat, you have anxiety.
But if you're a Republican and you want to make America great again, then you won't have
anxiety because you've chosen the right path.
They're not wrong about that.
No, they're not wrong.
I've never met a lot of blue collar guys that have anxiety attacks.
No, they won't.
That's a cuck problem.
You can't have an anxiety attack when you're trying to put up sheetrock.
No, you can't. You can't do it, bro. No. When you're on the 80th floor. That's a cuck problem. You can't have an anxiety attack when you're trying to put up sheetrock. No, you can't.
You can't do it, bro.
No.
When you're on the 80th floor.
That's right.
Can't do it.
So we started this podcast as of this moment.
It started.
And we started this podcast.
We call it the History Hyenas.
This is the first episode.
History Hyenas, you might ask.
Why are we calling it that?
Because we love nature.
We love history.
We're two curious cucks.
Yeah.
And we're going to be exploring both
in every episode. Every episode. And if you're
the kind of guy that you can't,
like us, you can't openly talk to
your friends about how you want to learn shit,
then this is the podcast you listen to secretively.
This is what you do.
When you're on your break,
when you're in your garbage truck, or you're driving
your truck route, you put this on low volume.
You put this on YouTube.
You put the captions on.
You can't let your wife know about this.
And if you're a woman, you can't let your husband or your lesbian partner know about this.
This is what you do.
Because we're guys.
Listen, I live my life in a way where I don't really listen to the rules.
I know what I look like.
You are a hyena.
Yeah.
I got Viking headband.
I wear Jordans to every occasion. I can't tell you the last time I know what I look like. I got Viking. You are a hyena. Yeah, I got Viking headband. I wear Jordans to every occasion.
I can't tell you the last time I haven't worn Jordans.
And I don't care,
but I also listen to Whitney Houston
and Madonna Material Girl.
That's not the rules.
Yeah, your face and head do not match.
I don't match.
When I was at your house one time,
you were showering.
You had Cyndi Lauper on.
Yeah.
And you called me cute.
And I called you cute.
Which is, I mean,
there's nothing more disgusting
than hearing the word cute out of your face.
So just know that we're the kind of guys that we don't care.
Like, I'm an eager, eager, eager learner.
I want to learn.
I like going on history tours.
I like talking to Giannis about nature.
Giannis, you'll find out through the course of this podcast, Giannis will try to make everything and anything Greek and tell you that Socrates had something to do with anything.
I mean, he'll tell you Socrates invented fucking iPhones. He'll tell you that. You've been reading Socrates lately. I like, well, I'll tell you that Socrates had something to do with anything. I mean, he'll tell you Socrates invented fucking iPhones.
He'll tell you that.
You've been reading Socrates lately.
I like Socrates.
Well, I'll tell you what.
I'll tell you what I...
Do you listen on audio or you read it?
Well, now I'm trying to read more.
I'm trying to actually get the books.
Like some books that you've given me,
I'm actually trying to read the words
because I notice on audio, I'll be listening to it,
but then I'll also be on my phone while I'm driving
and I'm just looking at puss on Instagram.
And you're one text in violation from losing your license.
Yeah, they told me right now if I get one more texting violation or moving violation with a handheld device, I'm getting the license taken away for six months, which would fuck me up bad.
Yeah, so if you don't believe that he's not a guy that listens to the rules, look at his face.
Yeah.
He's got a PhD in physical therapy. Truth. He texts his face. Yeah. He's got a PhD in physical therapy.
Truth.
He texts and drives.
Yeah.
He eats Nutella by the jar.
Yeah.
He is an absolute fucking wild hyena.
But I also take my blood pressure four or five times a day because I'm convinced I'm
having a stroke.
You also are convinced that you're German and you're not.
Yeah.
I actually got a book called The Nazi Symbiosis.
How do you say that word?
Symbiosis?
Symbiosis?
I guess so.
It's basically about, the book is basically about how, not that Nazis were misunderstood,
because I think that's a stretch, but just how you became a Nazi.
You like their uniforms, though.
The uniforms were invented by Hugo Boss.
That's a fact.
The actual Hugo Boss invented the uniforms.
And I will tell you this.
I'm a patriot.
I bleed red, white, and blue.
Everybody knows that.
Who knows me?
And I can't sound like a talking sewer and not fucking want to die for this country.
But I will tell you, when I watch those World War II docs, yo, the fucking Nazis were badass.
Unis were nice, right?
Yo, unis were nice.
When they came with the Blitzkrieg and the Luftwaffe, I wanted to know what that was about.
So you just feel like they had the best uniforms.
I felt like they had the best uniforms.
And I felt like they just were—the Germans are organized people.
That's another thing.
We beat them because, you know, nothing could take down the fucking American Eagle.
Right.
Nothing could take us down.
We're the Americans, you know, true, hardened and true.
But the Nazis, I mean, they fucking—I mean, think about that.
They're a little-ass country like Germany.
Not that little.
Not that little.
No, but they almost took over the entire world.
If they wouldn't have tried to invade Russia in the winter, which was Napoleon's, as we've talked about, the same mistake Napoleon made.
And Hitler was a huge Napoleon fan.
So my fear, what the fuck were you thinking?
If you wouldn't have tried to.
But that's what we talk about.
The biggest thing that takes us down as human beings is the male ego.
Oh, yeah.
That male ego of Adolf Hitler.
ego oh yeah that male ego of adolf hitler if he would have just had a fucking ava braun would have came into his life and kind of broke him and he would have had a child just just a little bit just
a month or so before he made that decision we may be all fucking eating hassenpfeffer right now yeah
might be part might be truth the human ego can't it's never enough so yeah you can't it's the it's
insatiable my buddy jesse used to say there's no end to up no and it's true it's true there's no
end to up yeah and that's what we want. It's true. There's no end to up.
Yeah.
And that's what we want to explore here on this podcast is different things in history.
If you trace anything back to history, it's always the ego.
Very few times has ego not played a part in something, unless a woman was in, the woman's
ego was not as strong as a male ego.
But pretty much every war in history.
I've met some women with some big egos.
Yeah, nowadays, but back in the day.
Yeah.
You know, I don't think so.
I would argue, since we're not gettinggos. Yeah, nowadays, but back in the day, you know, I don't think so.
I would argue, since we're not getting into anything specific this episode,
but I would argue probably Queen Elizabeth, woman, probably huge ego,
but probably one of the most, if not the most successful reign of an empire.
See, I don't know.
You've got to educate me more on Queen Elizabeth.
We're going to do that.
And that's what this podcast is going to be about,
because there's a lot of things I don't know,
and there's a lot of things Giannis doesn't know,
and we're going to teach each other while teaching you. I'm telling you, if you're not's what this podcast is going to be about because there's a lot of things i don't know and there's a lot of things the honest doesn't know and we're going to teach each other while teaching you i'm telling you this is the if you're not listening to this podcast you're a
fucking liberal cuck bad you are yeah if you're not listening to this podcast that means you
fucking i don't know what you're doing you're protesting inside transgender bathrooms right
now bad you do it but not that there's a problem with that i actually like the transgender bathroom
i let people do what they want to do that's what i'm about if you want to fucking if you think you're a woman trapped inside a man's body or as more
said what used to be a man's body then that's what you got to do it's fine the problem i have is you
shoving it down my throat yeah i don't i i love everybody that comes in front of me i love
everybody that comes in front of me i don't care but just because i look like a guy that maybe
doesn't like that doesn't mean i'm that guy just why don't you fucking talk to me? I get tweets all the time about how I look like I'm the poster child of the alt-right.
I don't like anything about the alt-right.
They ruined a perfectly good haircut.
Yeah, they ruined a perfectly good...
This fucking haircut is money.
It costs $75.
Yeah.
And I don't stand for...
I mean, look, if they listen to the podcast and want to pay the patron, you know, fucking
throw the arms up.
I don't give a shit.
Which we're going to have as well.
We're going to start a Patreon page.
Yeah.
Also, you may know us as the Bay Ridge Boys.
Fictional representations of us.
But hey, all the same.
We're starting an empire right here.
We're starting, you know, cuzzies.
There have been two independent places in Brooklyn that have named sandwiches after us.
I mean, that's what Italians do.
That's what Italians do.
Black people get sneakers. We get sandwiches. That's what Italians do. Black people get sneakers.
We get sandwiches.
That's what it is.
And we're the same.
And blacks and Italians are the same.
I feel like-
They want to be each other.
If a black said something derogatory to me or I said something derogatory to a black,
I feel like we're cousins.
Don't matter.
But don't say something to me if you're Chinese.
Nobody's going to admit that, though.
Nobody's going to admit that.
No.
Italians would never admit that.
If I would have said that being a black guy, if I would have that that i would have been fucking i would have had my own special just
for saying that but because i'm a white guy people are gonna be like i fucking hate chris
stefano listen this is the podcast for you also first of all like chris said you got to listen
to it in secret you don't want your friends to know that you're a serious you're a download gay
curious guy yeah you're a dlg you're a dlg download gay but also if you're like kind of
you're kind of...
We're not that smart.
We're not great historians.
We're not great historians.
But we're going to learn.
We're going to learn.
We're going to learn.
We're qualified.
Look, we have a somewhat qualified level of intelligence.
I have a doctorate degree in physical therapy, and Giannis is one of the most well-read,
educated people I've ever met.
That's the truth.
But we're also dumb fucking losers.
Absolutely.
Big time.
We're dumb idiots.
Big time.
I mean, we walk around.
I mean, Giannis chokes on his food every day of his life.
Giannis chokes on his food every single day.
And I don't know.
Literally, I swear to God, I'm 33 years old.
I weigh 240 pounds.
I have to sleep with every light in my house on because I'm genuinely scared of ghosts.
And that's not a joke.
That's not a joke.
He is scared of the dark.
Yeah.
I'm a grown man with a family. Scared of the dark. Your grown man with a family is scared of the dark. Yeah. I'm a grown man with a family.
Scared of the dark.
Your grown man with a family is scared of the dark.
Yeah.
You got to fix that.
I do.
You have a little daughter.
I do, yeah.
Your daughter can't be like,
Daddy, there's monsters under my bed.
And you go like, I know.
Let's hide.
You can't do that.
I can't.
But I already do.
There's been a couple of times.
I'm the guy when there's a weird creak in the floor.
Like somebody knocks the door late at night.
I would always make the woman go up and get it.
Yeah, you don't like being alone at all. I can't do it. Nah, I can't. I got a fear of being alone. You take friends on the road. like somebody knocks the door late night. I would always make the woman go up and get it. Yeah, you don't like being alone at all.
I can't do it.
Nah, I can't.
I got a fear of being alone.
You take friends on the road.
Yeah, I can't be alone.
I start to get real dark for me when I get alone.
What are you scared of?
Do you think someone's going to attack you looking the way you look?
You look like you can handle yourself.
I know, but I can't.
You got a Viking head.
You got a protruding forehead.
You have Neanderthal in your DNA.
No German, but plenty of Neanderthal.
Yeah, right?
You are not German.
I'm not?
You made a video on Instagram claiming to be German, and it made me furious because
I saw the results of your DNA.
You are 30% Sicilian, and then the rest of it, all the rest of it came from Ireland.
You are a dirty Brooklyn mutt.
Italian-Irish.
I'm the kind of guy.
You're the descendant of shit shovelers
shit bad right
you make wasps
nauseous
nauseous right
that's what I was gonna say
like you think wasps
any wasp listening to this podcast
is disgusted by the way we talk
they're listening to you right now
and it's almost like
they're hearing mouse squeaks
like rats
they look at you like
we look like two swarthy
ethnic trash
talking about history
with New York accents
that's gross You just told people
that you have a PhD. Nobody believes
it. I'm telling you. Nobody believes it.
This is a true, honest to God story.
My first day of physical therapy school, it's a graduate
level doctorate program. I showed
up. The teacher of that class,
I'll never forget, it was room 501. They thought
I was the janitor. They said that
the electrical closet was two doors down
and that mops, everything I needed was in there. I said, I'm a student. They said, for what? I said, the the janitor. They said that the electrical closet was two doors down and that mops, everything I need
was in there.
I said, I'm a student.
Yeah.
They said, for what?
I said, the physical therapy program.
And she was like, show me your paper.
And then I showed her and she looked, looked at me again and she was like, all right.
And then I remember she sat, I sat down and then she was talking like she was going over
the syllabus and like things she was, she would look at me and talk a little slower.
She would be telling like, and just look, she under, she didn't think that I was really
supposed to be there.
But then I proved myself.
You use that to your advantage a lot, don't you?
I do.
People underestimate you all the time.
I can't tell you how many.
You look like a moron.
Moron.
And I let people think I'm a moron.
But you're not.
People, you know.
This is, this podcast is almost you coming out of the closet.
A little bit.
You're like a closet intellectual a little bit.
Yeah.
I think you're smarter than me actually. No always say you're not but you are no i
don't have a fucking phd yeah but i have a i have a i have a i have a bachelor of arts degree which
is basically a high school diploma but but you have you have a palpable passionate intellect
and a cute face too no yeah am i cute or no you're a cute kid i told you you're cutie with a booty
yeah i told you that yeah but i'm not as good looking as you, though.
Nah, but it's different.
You bring out deep.
Girls want to bang you bad.
But you think it's more on a primal level, you're saying.
Yeah, I think it's primal, yeah.
It's not like a girl wants to spend her life with you.
A girl wants to just bang me out once.
Yeah.
Because they think I'm just a dumb fucking electrician.
Not that electricians are smart guys, but they got a way about it.
They think I'm a union.
They have a fantasy about banging a union guy.
Yeah, you're like female porn.
Yeah.
Like when they see you, it's like the fantasy come to life.
They don't want to speak to you afterwards.
Talk about history and nature coming together.
The reason why chicks want to bang you is historical.
Right.
Because somewhere deep in the brain, you look like a caveman that's going to kill anything that tries to enter the cave.
Right.
Me, I'm a guy who looks like I'm going to ask her, hey, let's team up to beat this thing.
Yeah.
And I'm going to try to have her join me to beat whatever's trying to kill us.
Yeah.
You're going to be like, honey, stay in here.
Yeah.
I'm going to kill this thing with my protruding forehead.
Yeah.
You look like either someone going through transitional therapy.
Like, you look like you're on hormones right now, or you're a chubby vegan.
You look like one of those two.
I would, you would be an ugly chick.
Bad, right? I got pictures of me as a chick You look like one of those two. I would, you would be an ugly chick. Bad, right?
I got pictures of me
as a chick.
We'll post them.
I think like when people
see Marisa,
some people want to bang her.
I think it's funny
to watch people
to like be around you
and see people
uncover that you're Marisa
and then be let down
that Marisa's not a real person.
That you are Marisa.
It's a big let down.
It's an interesting kind
of way into the human mind where you're
like, wow. They love her that much.
People really thought that
that was real. And I could see how they would
think that. I could see because you pull that off,
character off so well. Because it's the real me,
according to you.
Guys, I want you to do me a favor.
I've been saying this for a long time, and I know,
I know, at some point in my life
I will be proven right by this
if you're not familiar
with the Marisa character
go google Marisa
or go google Dasit
what you will see
is
and I'm using quotes
Giannis
portraying
this character
who he's conveniently
named Marisa Rodriguez
why is it conveniently?
because
I think
the real
the real person that exists that was born into this world is in fact Mauricio Rodriguez,
or Mauricio Rodriguez as he was born in the Lower East Side of Manhattan,
and Giannis Pappas is his greatest character.
I think Giannis Pappas is the greatest character that Mauricio has pulled off,
where everybody thinks Giannis is real, but he's created Mr. Panos, and he's created Giannis.
She's created Mr. Panos.
She's created Mr. Panos, and she's created Giannis.
So right now what you're seeing is a man, is Giannis Pompous,
is a man dressed like he's robbing a bank.
He looks like a man right now from Charleston, Massachusetts.
You look like you want to rob him.
I look like an extra to Matt Damon movie right now.
Yeah, a little bit, a little bit.
Yeah, with your hair swooped up.
Yeah, the fucking town, dude. Yeah, you look like that but i'm telling you behind
closed doors when he goes home at night i put stockings on there's an ass pussy there yeah
that's what i know for a fact and unfortunately he's got a fiance now and i don't think that she
knows and i've tried it's not my place she thinks we're banging because we hang out a lot we hang
out hard bad we hang out that picture that she screenshot of us when you went Instagram live.
When you said you want cock bad.
You want to crawl in the sheets with me?
Yeah, and we can post that.
We'll post that.
Yeah, because that picture is hilarious.
And yeah, she's Brittany, who's a great girl.
I think you made a fantastic choice.
I've told you that.
I think you picked a winner.
But I think that she knows deep down that she's not marrying. I think she knows she's marrying a female from the Lower East Side. Do you that she knows deep down that she's what she's not marrying you know i
think she knows she's marrying a female from the lower east side she does deep down i think she
does deep down but i think right now i think she's already come so this far yeah and you are appearing
as greek yeah that so for her yeah you're a big catch yeah and she's just gonna have to she's
gonna have to do what she's gonna have to do and i think she's said you know what i'm gonna sacrifice
my life for the greater good because you can pull this character off so well yeah watch the movie
split yeah if you watch the movie split he has 24 personalities yeah and you're not sure
which one it is yeah but then you get a glimpse on which one the real one is and i've gotten a
glimpse or two at the real maurica and i and i i know for a fact that feels more real than this
right this isn't you this is an act yeah why am i doing why don't i just come out and just just
just be that all the time like hello ch hello, Chris. Let's do this shit.
Because I think-
So we're going to be doing history.
We're going to be doing nature.
Yeah.
Two things that we like to do.
Why don't I just come out?
Because I think even though-
I'm scared of society.
Even though society has progressed so well, I think there's still a little fear in you.
There's still a little fear because you still are a cuck a little bit.
A little bit.
And cucks, make no mistake.
Yeah.
Cucks appear in this day and age.
Like, they're brave.
They're the most nervous, fearful people on this fucking planet.
They are.
Are the cucks.
Yeah.
And that's what you are.
Yeah.
Yep.
People listening to this right now, you confirm constantly.
Yeah.
People's belief that you're an idiot.
Right.
You know.
Yeah.
It's not just the way you look.
Yeah.
I mean, you sound like a fucking idiot.
I sound like a dummy.
You sound like a dummy.
It's, I don't, part of me doesn't believe that you have a PhD.
Yo.
The way you don't believe that I'm really me.
And I'm really a transgender woman.
Yeah.
I believe you're, I don't believe you have a PhD.
Bro, this is how dumb I am.
Right now, I was just sitting there thinking, looking at you talk.
And I was like, there's no fucking way this kid sat down for four to six or eight hours straight.
Yeah.
And studied what he needed to study to get that doctorate.
I want you to bring that fucking thing in.
I'll bring it in.
I need proof at this point.
Before I believed you, right this moment, it was a moment I was looking at that garbage queen's accent.
Yeah.
And I was going, there's no way.
Yeah.
He went, excuse me, professor, can I ask you a question?
I just don't believe it's possible.
No, you can't. And then, does the tiblia,
you must have called it the tiblia more
than once. No. You called it the tiblia.
No, it's fucking crazy
that I know it's the tibia and the fibula, but yeah, there's probably times
I've called it the tiblia. You might have called it the tiblia
a few times. Yeah. Not because, I remember
there was one time, just recently, when we were talking
all about Greek mythology and all that, I was going on
a sick rant. I was talking to my pops. rant and for about 10 minutes i was calling i was calling
plato pluto yeah i was like yo pluto had some pluto said this pluto said that and he's like
what do you mean pluto's the planet yeah i was like no oh plato my bad you pretend that you're
not a nerd bad but you are a nerd bad you you spend most of your time in your apartment when
you're alone watching documentaries yeah reading audiobooks yeah curious curious you always ask
questions but i can't do that because if i do but you can't do that around your friends because
where i come from yeah i can't do that if i'm not talking about the steam fittings union they don't
want to hear what i'm have to say if you didn't grow up in ridgewood you think you would be a
cuck bad if i didn't grow up you might be a protester if i didn't grow up in ridge you might
be the leader of the protesters.
If I didn't have the parents I had, which are just
pure, I mean, my mother's a beautiful person,
dad's a great guy, but they're pure New York trash.
You know, like just pure,
you know, they'll be like, you know, they call me Christopher,
you know, they think I'm a sweet
kid, you know, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
If I had just a little bit
of intellectual parents like you did,
I think I'd be hitting those streets hard.
You would be.
Yeah.
You'd be carrying a sign.
Yep.
I think I'd be the one out there telling you that there is a problem with Apu.
You'd be calling Ted Alexandra to tell him where the march is.
I would.
Yeah.
I would be.
I would.
You know how Ted.
Because Ted Alexandra.
Great comic.
Comic.
Protests a lot.
Great friend of ours.
I mean.
Great guy.
The Zuccotti Park protests.
That 1% protest which went on say for about two months. I mean he was still protesting The Zuccotti Park protests, that 1% protest, which went on, say, for
about two months. I mean, he was still protesting
in Zuccotti Park last week. That shit was
four years ago. He fucked, and
that's what I love about it. Ted's a... Let me
tell you something. He backs up what he says. Ted is not
a cuck. Ted is a protester
because he believes what he believes, and I'm telling you,
Ted will fucking... Ted will hurt you.
Yeah, he's from Queens. Yeah, Ted's no joke.
He used to be a music teacher. He used to teach the you. Yeah. He's from Queens. Yeah. Ted's no joke. He used to be a music teacher.
He used to teach the recorder.
Exactly.
Yeah.
Exactly.
And he's a fucking true blue Mets fan.
Yeah.
Yo, Ted's fucking...
I would never fight Ted.
Well, the thing about a lot of...
There's nothing fake about Ted.
Yeah.
A lot of people protest and they just say this stuff, but they won't go out and hit the streets
and back it up.
Ted will hit...
Yo, Ted...
Ted will stop traffic.
Yo, Ted was out there looking dirty.
I mean, I remember he would show up fucking filthy, dirt under his under his fingers he didn't give a shit yeah ted's a hyena ted might
be a little bit of an intellectual hyena oh you know it's another beautiful you're a hyena i'm a
hyena for sure ted no you know it's not have to find another animal for you know it's another
great you know it's another great thing about hyenas is uh they're one of the only animals in
the animal kingdom where the matriarch the woman is the actual head of the only animals in the animal kingdom where the matriarch, the woman, is the actual head of the society.
Yeah.
And it's not a male-dominated tribe.
No, which is wild.
It's female, which is wild.
Considering how savage they are.
Like you said before, they eat the whole animal because they have one of the strongest jaws
of any animal.
And they're not even that big of an animal.
That's how savage this thing is.
They're a little bit bigger than a dog.
A little bit bigger than a Rottweiler.
Yeah.
And their jaws crush bone. Crush bone. Turn it into is. They're a little bit bigger than a dog. A little bit bigger than a Rottweiler. And their jaws crush bone.
Turn it into powder. They will eat
you whole. A pit bull can't
crush your bone. And they constantly eat people.
Them and pigs. Pigs eat all
the bone. That's why the mafia used to throw bodies to the pigs.
Because they eat all the evidence. That's because they're
greedy fucks. They'll eat everything.
Pigs will just eat. They're disgusting.
But hyenas are savage.
I kind of stopped eating bacon.
We're talking a little about nature.
I stopped eating bacon and a lot of pork products because pigs are so smart.
They know what's happening to them.
And it kind of made me feel a little grossed out for eating them.
You know, that's how much we're on the same page.
I've done the same thing.
And we've never even talked about it.
Never even talked about that.
I feel bad.
Yeah.
They used to, but pigs are greedy though.
Pigs are greedy.
That's why they used to use pigs as truffle dogs in Italy.
Traditionally, it was always pigs because truffles are very valuable.
They're hard to find, and they would use pigs, but the pigs would eat the truffles a lot of times.
So the truffles that they would get would be like the leftover, whatever the pig didn't eat at first.
Now they use dogs because the dogs don't eat the truffles.
In Italian, we call an animal like that a gavone.
A gavone.
That's a gavone.
It just eats it all. Yeah.
And you know what's
what I like to...
What was I going to say? I was going to say something.
It's interesting. The
truffle dogs are so valuable
in Italy that they
kidnap them. They have to have armed guards.
They have to have armed guards. Really? When the
dogs go about, when they go out on their truffle
hunts, there's guys with machine guns protecting the dogs because the dog truffles are so expensive
right you get one of those dogs who can help you find those truffles it's worth a lot and i kind
of like as i've gotten older and like thought about stuff and question stuff a little bit more
like these societal norms that we're just kind of under the spell of like why do we drink cow's milk
what is it about the cow why don't we why don't we drink yeah but why don do we drink cow's milk? What is it about the cow? Why don't we drink?
Yeah, but why don't we drink?
Why isn't goat milk more prevalent? Why when I show a picture of a dog, a cat, a pig, a cow, children will say, I would only
eat the pig or the cow.
All the meat in it's the same.
Cultural.
Yeah, that's what I'm saying.
Because in Greece, they do.
It's all goat milk.
All goat's milk.
There's no cows. Only recently did they- So when you'm saying. Because in Greece, they do. It's all goat milk. All goat's milk. There's no cows.
Only recently did they start eating cheese.
So when you go to a supermarket in Greece, it's all feta.
I used to be adamant about, I hate goat cheese.
I think it's repulsive.
And then one time, Yannis saw me order feta cheese, and he was like, you know, it's goat cheese, right?
I didn't know.
You didn't know.
And this whole time, I've been talking shit about goats, and meanwhile, I've been eating their cheese.
And you liked it until you found out what it was
yeah so it tells you how much of his cultural like if you grew up in in china who knows what
you would have been eating dogs probably yeah korea they eat dogs and you would have thought
nothing was wrong with it you'd be eating insects and think nothing's wrong with it
parts of this guy this gourmet chef i just saw the other day he opened up a taco spot
wolfgang kuck no he was china he was asian though an asian gourmet chef and just saw the other day, he opened up a taco spot. Who, Wolfgang Koch? No.
He was Asian, though.
An Asian gourmet chef, and he makes tacos with crickets.
And it's like a delicacy from where he's from.
It's all cultural.
It's all cultural and what's available to you.
And people love it?
Well, he loves it.
I don't know.
And you know these Kochs.
We're just going to use Koch a lot.
Koch.
Yeah, and keep in mind.
Hipsters.
Hipsters.
Love that stuff. Yeah.
So it's like probably that restaurant is probably full of hipsters eating crickets. Yeah, and keep in mind— Hipsters. Hipsters, like— Love that stuff. Yeah. So it's like probably that restaurant's probably full of hipsters eating crickets.
Yeah, and they love it.
And here's the thing with cucks, because I know some people will say, oh, cucks, it's just a legal way to say that.
It's a hilarious word.
It's not.
We don't use it that way, because I would never—
If you're a cuck, it's because what I think—
First of all, the word cuckold, Shakespeare created cuckold in Othello.
Didn't we read today that it was something?
It comes from-
Well, it comes from the cuckoo bird.
The cuckoo bird.
And what they-
But I think Shakespeare-
You just learned something.
See?
First podcast.
Because cuckoo birds will lay eggs into another bird's nest.
They'll put their eggs there and just kind of mix them all up.
And that's why Shakespeare took that word and it derived from there because.
Oh, so he created it from that.
Exactly.
Because he said, and what a cuckold basically is, is you're okay.
You're a man that's okay with another man coming and having sex with your wife.
Now, cuckold porn is somebody banging your wife in front of you, which is like, that's
a whole nother generation of cuckolding.
But originally it was just, you're okay if your wife cheats on you
because you're not a manly man back then.
So when I call somebody a cuck,
it's really just,
really all I'm saying is that you're a pussy.
That's all I'm saying is you're a pussy.
It's really pussy, yeah.
That's what, I'm just calling you,
it's just another word for me to call a pussy.
I'm not calling you-
Well, faggot means pussy too.
It doesn't mean gay.
I would never-
If somebody calls me a Greek faggot,
it probably means you're a pussy.
Pussy, yeah. And by the way- So cuck is kind of like a new word for faggot. And I would never- But it doesn't mean gay i would never somebody calls me a greek faggot it means probably means you're pussy you know yeah i wouldn't and by the way so cuck is kind of like and i would never but it doesn't mean gay yeah and i just feel like i'm having i've had enough of the
generalizations in an individualistic society it's like i would never call one of my friends
who's gay a fag in a derogatory way i would never do that to them ever my friends who i know for a
fact are straight i would call them a fag left and right.
And when you try to take that away and say, no, what you're doing is you're just taking away comedy.
Because what you and I have discussed before, everything in comedy now, they want us to say what's right.
But the definition of comedy, as you said, Giannis, is saying what's wrong.
Exactly.
And that's what makes it funny.
So that's why this kind of assault this kind of like assault on freedom of
speech is ridiculous to me because then it just confuses it confuses the younger generation and
it's counter it's counterproductive it's counter it just it's it's the reason why donald trump is
president all the people that stood up and was like no no you have to say this it's like well
that's why you just made just made the man you hate the leader of the free world you did that
you because you're a cuck you can ban words. It gives them even more power
when you ban them.
And I just hate people
who are followers.
You're just going to go
to some fucking
Thai vegan restaurant
because you just want to go there.
Because somebody told you to go there.
You're like,
I'm just going to go
and I just feel like
that's what I need to do.
It's like,
no, why don't you go there
because you want to go there.
Yeah.
Some of them do.
And I got nothing against Thai food.
I fucking love Thai food. Some of them just want to try vegetarian Thai food. That's fine. Well, some of them. Some of them do. And I got nothing against Thai food. I fucking love Thai food.
Some of them just want to try,
you know, vegetarian Thai.
That's fine.
I've wanted to try something,
but I've done it
because I've come up with that.
I just want to try it.
And then you went right back
to chicken cutlets and burgers.
Then I go right back
to fucking eggplant pie.
Because you bleed red, white, and blue.
That's what I do.
That's what you do.
I respect the Thai people.
Yeah.
But, you know, unfortunately.
At the end of the day,
you're an American.
At the end of the day,
if I can't put ketchup on it,
I don't want it.
No, I'm kidding.
But no,
but that's the issue
that I have
with the way the world is right now.
Like I'm watching.
Yeah,
when we call someone a faggot,
it's probably because
your friend puts on cologne
or something.
That's it.
Why were you faggot?
He's faggot.
He's got cologne on.
Yeah,
it's because you told your,
I'll call you a faggot
because you told your wife
you loved her.
Yeah,
or if you're a vegetarian,
you're a faggot.
Yeah,
it's not me,
you're gay,
it means you're a vegetarian. That's all it means yeah it's not me you're gay means you're vegetarian that's all it means but it's like
you know but but but a big part of today's society especially the youth can't understand that right
and they just have no bit what what what worries me the most about the youth is you can't have a
conversation with them if you don't agree with them then you are wrong right and if you're not
saying exactly what they want and need you to say, then you're a bad person.
I did a comedy show at a college a few months ago,
and this kid wrote an article about me, which I said was fine,
and he bashed my comedy, saying that I was offensive,
which nobody has ever in a live show, an adult,
has never told me I'm an offensive comic.
You're not.
Your comedy's not offensive.
I don't take that route.
I talk all about my family and my life, but whatever.
But the biggest problem I had is he said in this article, and the biggest travesty of
all was not once in a whole hour-long sermon, he called my comedy, in an hour-long sermon
to the kids of Emerson University, did he mention his white privilege.
And it's like, in what world, if I have a joke about that, fine, but why would I need
to mention that?
But because I didn't, he wrote me, he thinks I'm a bad person right because i'm not mentioning what does that mean
what is your white privilege you didn't grow up with money i didn't grow up you know to be a hall
of fame division three basketball you earned every one of those because i grew up with a father who
was in prison a dilapidated house in ridgewood my mother father working class people and i got a
scholarship to play basketball on paper i'm black you know so
it's like what white privilege did i grow up with i actually grew up i grew up getting harassed by
the police i'm not saying as much as some of my black or latino friends because i truly don't know
but because i was one of the only white faces in a black and latino neighborhood more often than not
i was questioned by the police because like what are you doing here you buying drugs yeah and that
kid probably doesn't even have a black friend. Yeah, exactly.
That article.
No, not at all.
Yeah.
Not at all.
Yeah. But there's a problem that we got going on.
And I'm telling you what this podcast is about is we're trying to fucking right the wrongs
and crush cucks.
If you want to crush cucks, you need to listen to us.
Okay.
Because we're good people.
We put funny and talent first.
That's what's first.
You heard from your purer right there. From your funny and talent. Listen, if's first you heard from your furor right there from your
funny and talent listen if you're a fucking listen to me if you're if you're a gay chinese eskimo
and you're funny you're gonna be on this show but if you're just a gay and chinese eskimo
you're not gonna be on the show unless you got unless you're talented and funny and you'll see
the people we bring on if we choose to bring, are going to be an array of diversity, of cultures, religions, races, because they're funny and talented.
That's what it's going to be.
You're going to see it's never going to be four or five white people, four or five black people, four or five women in a row, because we have so many friends from all different walks of life that are just, we know how to seek out the funny and the talent.
And that's what we're putting first.
And you'll see that this podcast you're gonna laugh a lot
because you're like
oh this is just funny
I'm not just listening
to someone
because you know
they're fucking
half fucking Japanese
because they feel guilty
about giving them
an opportunity
or a chance
hopefully we'll get
some historians on here too
I would love to get
a historian on
some you know
biologists would be great
hopefully
if you guys
and listen
we only are as good
as our fans.
And by the way, thank you so much for watching the Bay Ridge Boys and really being a huge part of every sandwich that gets named after us.
It's because you named it.
You caused that.
We're not doing that.
The fans, you guys are the most.
Our goal, 10 sandwiches.
10 sandwiches.
We got two.
We got eight more to go.
Yes.
We got eight more sandwiches, and then we'll be fucking golden then we made it but the goal
seriously is we want to get like real and the only way we do it is by you guys pushing us because
really without you you push us you you you fucking push us you we want to get like neil degrasse
tyson on this thing yeah we want to get like hot peep top of society people elon musk i want to get
fucking obama on this thing yeah i want to get and bill nye people, Elon Musk. I want to get fucking Obama on this thing.
If we get Obama, yeah.
I want to get-
Bill Nye the science guy.
Bill Nye the science guy.
I mean, that's what we want to get to.
We want to just ask and be as dumb as we are just around them.
Because the thing is, Giannis and I, when we ask a question, I'm not trying to play a dumb character.
This is not a character, okay?
I'm genuinely interested in what people who are way smarter than me have to say.
And I'm genuinely interested in kind of getting inside their minds. And I ask questions from a
place that's pure. I truly want to know. And I don't care if you think I'm stupid. I was always
the kid that I would ask a question, even if somebody would laugh at me, like they would be
like, why would you ask that question? It's like, cause I don't fucking know.'t fucking know right and i want to know and guess what because god graced me with having huge
shoulders and a viking head i'll ask the question if you ask me one more time why i ask a question
i'm gonna beat your fucking face in and that's just the truth of it all and that's how i kind
of was able to move forward because like i want to ask you able to move around on this planet move
around this planet because i want to ask questions because i'm a true gay i'm a true hardened gay
i'm in the closet right now,
but I'm coming out bad.
I'm going to come swinging out.
But because I was blessed
with a little size,
nobody could ever make me
feel bad about myself.
Because they knew
if they crossed
just one more line,
I'm still Queen's trash.
I'm still a hefty bag
with a heartbeat.
There's no way around that.
You know?
I'm human garbage.
A lot of people pretend
like they know more than they do.
We're not going to do that.
We're going to find out.
No,
no,
no.
I got no,
I got no problem with being wrong.
I have,
I,
I'm genuinely,
and I know Yana says we are genuinely curious people.
So if you,
if we say something wrong on this podcast,
no hesitation,
tweeting it at us,
telling us this was wrong.
We would love for you to,
cause I don't think we're going to go through the fact checking thing.
We're just going to look up stuff.
We're going to have what we think is the answer and tell you about it.
And if you tell us it's wrong, then we'll believe it.
We're going to explore history.
We're going to explore nature.
We're going to talk about it.
We're going to joke about it.
We're going to get to the bottom of what this world's about.
We're going to try.
We're going to try to get to the bottom.
Try.
And then listen.
Who knows?
And if we do find that answer, if we do, and hopefully it takes a long time, but if we
do eventually find that answer, you listen to the very last podcast we'll do.
We're going to do it with a gun in our mouth and we're going to blow our fucking heads
off right at the end.
Because the world's ending anyway.
Yeah.
It's going to, it's kind of like just, it's over.
And that's what like we were talking about.
Like I'm, I'm Catholic and I got a lot of guilt.
And kind of like Yannis has opened my eyes to like what other religions think.
And like Jews kind of have it right in the sense that when you're done,
you're done.
Yeah.
Right?
I think nobody nailed it
like the Buddhists though.
Yeah,
you think Buddhists?
Yeah,
because like,
you know,
the Buddha was like,
look,
life is tragic,
you just have to accept it
and then find peace.
Yeah.
That's,
I think at the heart of it,
that's what it is.
We're gonna,
you know,
I have a theory
and I wanna,
we're gonna explore a lot of things
in this podcast
but what I really am curious about,
I wanna know
if we could actually figure out if psychopaths dictate history.
I could.
You have a theory that roughly 100 people change the world.
Yeah.
Because they say one out of 100 people are psychopaths.
Psychopaths always rise to the top.
They're always interested in being in positions of power, and they love destruction.
Right.
So that could really be the motor behind history and humankind.
We're going to talk deep too about the frontal lobe.
The frontal lobe of our fucking brains is basically what separates us from being a wild
hyena that will just eat a fucking, that will eat a lot, will eat a baby.
The only thing that keeps from that is the frontal lobe.
And you'll see nine times out of 10 when a serial killer or a psychopath caught and they're given a lobotomy or- Doesn't light up.
Doesn't light up. The frontal lobe is just, yeah. When they dissect those brains, the frontal lobe
is dead. The tissue's dead. So really the only thing, the only thing that keeps us from being
wild, savage animals is the frontal lobe, the neocortex, the new part of the brain.
That's right.
It's wild.
Doesn't light up, man.
Does not light up.
And those people are always highly motivated.
Highly motivated. Highly motivated.
Emotionless.
They're like human predators.
They're like reptiles.
Yeah.
So I bet you a lot of those people who ended up becoming like dictators or movers of history
who forced people to fix situations, they're the ones that fucked it up because they were
psychopaths.
Yeah.
I guarantee you that. You'll see. I guarantee
you if you did a cat
scan, if you ever found Hitler's body, you did a
cat scan of his brain, if it happened
around the time of his death, you would see that that frontal
lobe ain't lit up. There's no way it could have been.
There's no way it was lit up. And they say he had micropenia.
They say that's a fact. Really?
Hitler's penis was not... I'm not
talking about, oh, you got a little dick. I'm talking about an
actual clinical condition, micropenia, where your penis is so small it looks like a clit it
looks like a clit and you can't that's why they said he had no children because he couldn't he
claimed couldn't even fit in there he claims because he wanted to focus on the reich right
but the truth probably behind that is if micropenia is true because who knows maybe
that's fucking more jew propaganda I'm kidding no not. No, but maybe the micropenia.
I don't know if that's true.
I mean, who knows?
The winners write the history books, right?
So they could have written that just to fuck with him.
But if that truthfully, if that is true, then we talked about in the beginning of this podcast,
the fragility of the male ego.
If you have micropenia, that could make you want to exterminate 6 million people.
Why he pinned it on the Jews, who knows?
But it could have been, this whole thing could have been avoided if he just had a normal-sized penis, if that's in fact truth.
That's a thing, though, right?
Some people are born with just tiny baby dicks.
I mean, dude, I—
What's the evolutionary reason for that?
When I was a physical therapist, I treated a patient who was a true hermaphrodite.
Wow.
True hermaphrodite.
Really?
Yeah, he had a baby—well, she had a baby penis, but the vagina was the organ that overtook. But
a lot of times when you're hermaphrodite, yes, there are plenty of cases of people who are just
hermaphrodite, it's just they have both organs. But a lot of times when you're hermaphrodite,
it's a chromosomal issue. So they're blind, they have different disorders. Really? It's a huge
problem. A lot of hermaphrodites are actually vegetables. They're not vegetables, but they're
wheelchair bound. They have a host of other, they have a host of other conditions.
And I worked a lot with those kids.
And you used to be a social worker, you know what I'm saying?
So we've both seen some shit.
We've seen some shit.
You've seen some shit.
I've never seen a hermaphrodite though.
Yeah, I saw one.
It was wild.
And the guy, my boss at the time, he was a funny guy, but he was a dick.
He didn't tell me it was a hermaphrodite.
And he was like, make sure you do a hip check on them.
And you have to take down their pants.
But it was, you know, and then I pulled it out.
I was like, I wasn't prepared for it.
When you're just expecting to see, you know, a vagina and you see a penis too, it's fucking nuts.
So where's the vagina?
It's behind the balls?
The penis was like, you could see it was like beginning to form.
So it kind of just looks like it was like, it was just a penis.
There was no ball.
Oh, there's one ball.
And it was like right under the vagina.
You could get a surgery to get that removed, but a lot of times these people, maybe they
don't have the money for it and insurance won't pay for it, which is fucking savage.
Yeah.
But they won't pay for that.
They say that's cosmetic.
Yeah.
You know?
Wow.
It's wild.
So they have both hormones running through their body, too.
That's confusing.
Well-
No?
It depends.
Everybody's different.
It depends at what point in the gestational period when you were developing inside the
womb, when the X or Y chromosome started to take over.
Wow.
So it's like there's more advanced.
It's all different.
Nature is wild.
Nature is wild.
And we're going to explore big time on this.
Nature is wild.
Yeah.
I mean, there's a lot of variations in nature.
Yeah.
Hermaphrodites, people who have Down syndrome.
Yeah.
All types of things happen in that chromosome mix up.
Cuzzy's, the DNA, if you look at the DNA.
It's like code.
If you look at it like a code, and let's just say, I don't know the complexities of it.
It's a hard thing to understand.
But what I do know is that our DNA, like as a human being, say DNA, say for a human, it's
one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, right?
And the six and the seven is what makes us humans.
A pig's DNA is one, two, three, four, five, nine, ten.
So it's just, we have the same DNA as every single thing on this planet, but it's only in different strands of it.
So does the littlest change, just the micro change, can make us a human or can make us a fucking snow pig?
Isn't that fucking wild?
It is wild.
That's wild.
So if you are out there believing that you were created by anything else other than matter,
and if you don't think that we're fucking a simulation, I don't know who the fuck you are.
So when Elon Musk says that he thinks we're probably a simulation-
So does Stephen Hawkins.
And Stephen Hawkins does too.
Yeah.
That's the reason pretty much behind it, right?
Is when you look at DNA, it's very similar to coding.
It is a code.
Elon Musk says there is, we are computers.
Yeah. That's why even the is, we are computers. Yeah.
That's why even,
even the words that we've just used through time,
when you say,
I'm not hardwired that way,
my system shutting down.
Right.
The reason why he said you're using those words is because it's what you are.
Yeah.
You don't know that it's what you are,
but it is in fact what you are.
Yeah.
And can anybody ever prove it?
Probably not.
Just like,
do you know what happens after you die?
No.
Well,
we're going to prove it.
We're going to figure it out. We'll figure that out in this podcast.
We'll figure out how psychopaths
have influenced history. We'll get to the bottom
of nature. You never know what's gonna happen.
Our sound engineer looks like he's in
fucking ISIS.
Looks like he's fucking a recruit.
He looks like he's undercover
as a New Yorker, but we know who he's working for.
But we know who you are.
We're gonna talk history. We're to talk nature and how they intersect.
They often do intersect.
Big time.
And a lot of times in history, what's overlooked a lot is how man has used nature against each
other for their own betterment.
Absolutely.
Yeah.
Absolutely.
And we'll tell you all about it.
Horses were like the only way people got around to like 100 years ago. Or like 200 years ago. Nature.
If Russian
winter of 1944
wasn't the worst winter in Russian
history, the fucking Nazis would have taken
Russia and you would all be eating
fucking hops and pepper. Do you understand
that? Nature. If you wanted to be German, they would have
forced you to say you were German. Yeah. You would be
speaking German. You think with the kind of look I
have though, I would have been up in the ranks with Hitler, right?
You would have moved up fast. Yeah, I would have liked my...
This is what he liked. Yeah, and instead of playing
D3, you would have played D1 because they would only
be allowed white people to play
basketball. Yeah. They would have got rid of everybody else.
So you would have actually been a D1
player. I mean, it wouldn't have been as great to watch, but nobody
would have known any better. Yeah.
Because it would have been all white basketball.
I played Division 3, which is white basketball.
Which is pretty much white basketball.
That's reserved for the whites.
But in the Reich, if Hitler had his way, you could have been like the best basketball player
to come out of Ridgewood, because they wouldn't have allowed anybody else.
Cuzzy's.
What I want to tell you, first of all, I think this was a great first episode.
Yeah.
I mean, you know, we are going to crush cucks, too.
We're doing history.
We're doing nature.
But as Chris's rant told you at the beginning of this episode, we will crush cucks.
Make no mistake about it.
Make no mistake about it.
We will be drinking the blood.
We will be drinking fucking gluten plus beer out of the skulls of cucks.
And who are cucks?
Phony fucking cucks. That who are cucks? Phony fucking cucks.
That's what they are.
Phony.
If there's somebody you're working with, you're like, I don't believe a word this motherfucker says.
And he's always bitching and needs to say what's right all the time because he's a fucking insecure cuck.
He's a cuck.
Yeah, that's right.
Listen, it's just the first episode.
We're going to come with a better definition of cucks.
Because right now, I think right now, you know, we are just using it as an alternative for fags. But we're gonna get listen it's just the first episode we're gonna come with a better definition of cucks because right now
I think right now
you know
we are just using it
as an alternative for fags
but we'll get better at it
we'll get better
that's right
it's the first
I guess this is what you call
the pilot episode
this is the pilot episode
it's the first episode
yeah
so from here on in
it is gonna be
a wild adventure
yeah
of history
nature
and cuck crushing and cuck crushing and tell your friends to get on our Patreon page it is going to be a wild adventure of history, nature, and cut crushing.
And cut crushing.
And tell your friends to get on our Patreon page.
That's the way to get the podcast.
Oh yeah.
Look, you don't need Hollywood anymore.
And if you support us,
and if you like our content,
you've been watching Bay Ridge Boys,
you can donate directly to us.
Directly to us.
Because what you're supporting
when you give us a dollar, five dollars,
whatever you need to give us,
what you're supporting is two people
who are trying to preserve your right of freedom of speech.
We're trying to just preserve amendments here.
I'm fucking Chrissy Amendments, baby.
I'm trying to preserve what George Washington wanted.
I've been watching this documentary, this show on Netflix called Turn.
It's about the espionage and how dope General George Washington was with spies and how we beat the fucking mighty British army, which is no small feat.
I know France sent their entire army, but still, the red, white, and blue, the fucking Green Mountain Boys, Nathan Hale, heroes.
If we let these cucks take our freedom of speech away, which is what they're trying to do.
Who were the cucks back then?
Who were the cucks back then?
Who were the cucks back then?
Loyalists.
Loyalists for cucks.
You want to stay loyal to the cucks you fucking you want to
stay loyal to the crown so you can sell money to fucking redcoats you fucking cuck bags there was
always cucks in every era right we will identify the cucks of every era we can it's so easily
identifiable when you look back at history who the fucking cucks are king cuck benedict arnold
no benedict arnold was king cuck because not only— Listen, first of all, people say Benedict Arnold was misunderstood.
No, he was not.
Okay?
Yes, I understand that he didn't get his severance pay,
and he didn't get paid for three years of war,
and he didn't move up, and people moved past him.
No, the Continental Congress had no money.
Okay?
The British flooded the entire country with counterfeit money,
and the Continental Congress didn't know about it until it was too late.
So nobody got—George Washington didn't get paid for five years, okay?
So Benedict Arnold got—he was court-martialed, and then they could have fucking hung him,
and George Washington said, no, what, you know, we'll just give you a reprimand.
That was his penalty, a reprimand.
So it's nothing.
It's fucking not even a slap on the wrist, just the word reprimand.
Go back and fight for us.
He said, nope, because you didn't pay me.
Nobody else was getting paid.
But because you didn't pay me, now I'm going to go be a fucking major in the Redcoat, in the Loyalist Army.
You know why?
Because you are a fucking cuck, sir.
He was the cuck.
And you deserve, unfortunately, to go down as a hated man because you put coin ahead of country.
And you are the sea and cuck when you do that.
They were men back then, though, right?
On principles.
Big time men.
Yeah.
A guy who had pride, he would go like, no, hang me.
Hang me.
Major John Andre.
Major John Andre.
His famous figure in the Revolutionary War.
Got caught behind enemy lines.
Spy.
Back then, he was a major.
So back then, you could trade.
If I had one of your guys, you could trade.
Say, okay, give me five soldiers and I'll give you your major back.
John Andrew.
Major John Andre.
John Andre?
Major John Andre.
That was his name in the British Army and the Redcoats.
He said to George Washington, because the trade was going
to go through.
He received a letter.
George Washington received a letter.
No problem.
We're going to get five of our soldiers back.
We'll give you Major John Andre.
Good.
He said, no.
The rules of war are I was caught behind enemy lines as an enemy spy.
You must hang me.
He actually wanted to get death by firing squad because hanging was for spies.
Firing squad was for noble soldiers.
He wanted firing squad. But George Washington said, if we're gonna not gonna give you up though we're
gonna have to treat you as a spy and he said so be it then hang me wow that was a fucking real man
that was a real man real man almost now now now fucking you know you guys are taking your fucking
scooters to canada to get out of war yeah you know i don't want to fight in war either i'm a
fucking cuck you know what the irony of this whole thing is? I'm the biggest fucking cuck of all time.
I drank a green tea today and fucking watched, you know.
And a smoothie.
And a smoothie.
But that's because you need to drink smoothies.
You got diabetes bad.
I got diabetes.
You got pre-diabetes.
I got pre-diabetes, but I'm working on it.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So your story is like you did grow up in Ridgewood.
You did play basketball.
Yeah.
You did get a scholarship.
You do have diabetes.
Yeah.
Your story is really the black story
black story
yeah so
and look
and the truth is
and I will be honest with you
the truth is
we talk a lot of shit
and thank you for listening
but we both are cucks
I mean
you just heard me
you know
Giannis jerks off to C-SPAN
like he's a cuck
you are Obi-Wan Cuck-Nobi
I am Obi-Wan Cuck-Nobi
yes
and you are
fucking a cucky charm
if I've ever seen one
alright guys thank you for listening that's the first episode we're gonna tell you more on CuckNoby. Yes. And you are fucking a cucky charm if I've ever seen one.
All right, guys.
Thank you for listening.
That's the first episode.
We're going to tell you more about the Patreon page.
You're going to follow
this journey
on History Hyenas
with Chris DiStefano
and Giannis Pappas.
That was a good cackle.
Thank you.
Thanks for listening
to episode one.
Episode two,
we're going to go crazy
and talk about the Vikings
and what they used
in their warfare.
Biological warfare. They were the first group of people to ever do that. We're going to go crazy and talk about the vikings and what they used in their warfare biological warfare they were the first group of people to ever do that we're going to tell you exactly how they went fucking berserk that's a word that they created ស្រូវាប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ Bye.