History Hyenas with Chris Distefano and Yannis Pappas - 101 - Harriet Tubman was WILD!
Episode Date: December 8, 2019We talk the triumphs of a giant of American history, Harriet Tubman—not to be confused with Harriet Tuckman! Underground Railroad & 20 dollar bills talked about by 2 3 dollar bills. The boys are... really tired from a full day of shooting so they're just taking shots and being silly. Want more Hyena content? Check out www.patreon.com/bayridgeboys where things get really WILD!Follow us!: 🙆🏼♂️🐕🙆🏻♂️🙆🏼♂️Chris Distefano on Instagram, Twitter, website🙆🏻♂️Yannis Pappas on Instagram, Twitter, website🐕History Hyenas on Instagram, Twitter, website Subscribe to the poddy woddy on YouTube, iTunes, Spotify, and HH Clips
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ស្លាប់បានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានប� what's up everybody my name is yannis pappas and i am sitting here with my co-host his name is chris di stefano and we are two thai trans kickboxers who are living the American dream over here,
working on becoming better kickboxers to return back to the Thai kickboxing scene.
Yeah, it's what it is.
I just did Rogan.
Yeah, you just did Rogan.
And so did Giannis.
I am Joe Rogan.
Yeah, I'm Joe Rogan.
I just did a show.
It doesn't matter.
I want to do the show.
We all want to do Rogan.
But it's like now we live in a world where we could just say we did it and then people like you can't find i can't find them like
well i did it and then you'll just get booked at an improv listen guy i'm alexander hamilton back
from the dead and it's just what it is yeah we're sleepy kids we've been working all day today uh
yannis is not built out to work hard it's not built built cackle cackle i had a feeling
cackle i gotta do something to. Cackle, I gotta do
something to wake you up.
Mike, can you just
make a fucking note of that?
Yes.
Yes, smoker.
All the way till here.
And obviously,
he'll just keep going.
And now we're back.
I noticed that every time
we took a break today
from filming,
you just took a nap
on my daughter's bed.
I was trying to get in there
My daughter's gonna say,
why does my bed smell
like a 50% clean ass?
Because Aunt Yanni was here.
I'm 93% today.
Wow.
Yeah, but not 100%.
Ew.
100% can only happen after a fresh shower and then a wipe wipe with witch hazel.
Have I inspired anyone to use witch hazel?
Yeah.
Mikey, do you clean your ass with witch hazel?
We have a bidet, but yeah.
I love that Mike has a bidet and roommates.
Yeah.
How do you have both?
Yeah, that's a luxury that someone without roommates should have.
My roommates make more money than me.
You know what, Mike?
What do they do, those fucking FFs?
They're reporters.
Listen, I just...
You work in borders?
Yeah.
One works for CNET, one works for some kind of...
Do they think that this podcast is controversial?
No, one of them's a big fan, the other one doesn't listen to shit.
Yeah, the other one's just a fucking FF.
I agree with that.
That's low-cast. one's a big fan the other one doesn't listen to shit yeah the other one's just a fucking ff yeah i agree with that the other one like he has a dog that he just his way of walking it is to leave the back door open and then leave yeah yeah what an asshole yeah let's call it well now now yannis
yannis is gonna vote for trump because now it just got passed um and uh mrs poppins is the one
who brought to our attention that a at the uh they just passed federal law that if you harm an animal,
you get in serious trouble now.
So now you're going to vote for Trump now.
I think it's a federal crime, right?
Federal crime for animal abuse,
that's a really good thing,
and that's great in a civilized society
that they have that.
And Trump passed that?
Yeah.
So it's like, here you go.
It wasn't his idea.
What do you say now?
Do you agree with that? What do you say now? Do you agree with that?
What do you say now?
Is the dog park going to vote for him now?
Or are you fucking dog walkers going to vote for him now?
Are you voting for him?
A lot of 14.
No.
The truth of the situation is I can't vote for anyone.
I'm not a US citizen.
I was born in Canada.
Yes, you were born in Canada.
If you got to know the truth, he truly is a Canadian kid.
And I really am a Greek kid from Peru. It's what it is. We don't have citizenship. Where the situation wants to know the truth. He truly is a Canadian kid, and I really am a Greek kid from Peru.
It's what it is.
We don't have citizenship.
Where the situation wants to take my daughter.
I'm a lightheaded.
We need to eat something.
It's not going to happen, lady.
Yeah, that's not going down.
I'll go to court.
You can't take her out of the U.S. without my permission.
I'm not giving it.
What's going on in Peru?
I don't know.
She probably wants to open up the third eye with 420.
Es lo que es.
I mean, we're tired.
We're just going to have to take swings.
It's the only option I have.
Take big swings to wake people up,
and I'll ruin relationships,
and I'm not going to get invited to Christmas.
Yeah.
It's the only option right now because Yanni's dead.
Chris is going to have to celebrate Kwanzaa
because he's not allowed at Christmas anymore.
Yeah, not after the Harry Tubman episode.
Plain and simple.
Chris is creating his own version of a classic Christmas carol.
You know that story?
Yeah.
Three Ghosts.
Giannis is holding the microphone like a ciggy.
Because he does not smoke cigarettes. He's because he doesn't smoke.
He does not smoke cigarettes.
He's never smoked a cigarette in his life, but he's holding it now because he wants one
bad, so he's just holding the mic like a Siggy.
It's what it is.
Chris's Christmas Carol is just him looking through the window like the ghost of Christmas
passes with him, looking at all the Christmas parties of his family
that he can't get into now.
It's what it is.
I'm Tiny Tim.
It's called Christmas Carol Ridgewood.
Yeah.
And you're just not allowed at any of those parties.
Yeah, Venetia said I could come to her house for Greek Christmas.
Venetia has been, Venetia's also, you know,
she's been working hard when her hair's just all over the place.
Yeah.
I like her hair like that.
Pat wants to touch it.
Yeah.
Unfortunately, Pat, you can't do that. Yeah, you can't come to wants to touch it yeah unfortunately pat you can't
do that you can't yeah you can't come in my green room at gotham you can't i've told you that it's
a club policy but it's my policy no more friends or family in the green room and also no more
friends and family at my shows you guys have seen my act i want my people yanni can come venetia
mikey zach russian weirdo in the corner you guys can come yeah but i'm not having just friends and
family it's like why do you want to come watch me do comedy every time i do comedy locally it's like Russian weirdo in the corner You guys can come Yeah But I'm not having Just friends and family
It's like
Why do you want to come
Watch me do comedy
Every time I do comedy locally
It's like guy
You've seen my shit
Yeah
Am I showing up at your job
At FedEx Debo
Well here's the thing
They support you a lot
They do support you
Yeah but it's like
Supportive
Support what
And sexually assaulted staff
Yeah
Well
Yeah
I mean yeah
I mean fucking
You know
Patty's gonna get us fucking sued.
Don't say Patty.
No.
It's character piece.
It's character piece.
A lot of 14 character pieces.
Benatia's going to sue us through that incident and clean out all our Patreon money.
Clean out our Patreon money and then leave.
That's been our master plan from the beginning.
She's a spartan bitch.
Word.
Word.
Word.
Word.
Word.
Word.
Word.
Word.
Yeah. Today we're talking word, word. Yeah.
Today we're talking about what, guys?
Cuz, stop trying.
Harriet Tubman.
I just called Venetia cuz.
I'm losing.
Yeah.
Cuz, stop trying to reel us in.
We're going to have to go wherever it takes us because I'm running on fumes.
Yeah.
We're going to talk about Harriet Tubman, but I want to call myself Harriet Tuckman
because I just like to get tucked back.
Tuck it back.
I want to give myself a la puss.
I'm Harriet Tuckman.
Oh, God.
Oh, God.
I mean, you took some swings.
And then you got up to bat for the fourth time, and you put one over the wall.
I put one over the wall, which is where Mike's going if the audio doesn't sound good.
It's not Mike.
You mean Zach.
Oh, yeah, Zach.
You can go, too.
Yeah, I mean, you're just confusing people's jobs right now.
It doesn't matter.
Yeah, I mean, I don't even know who's doing what job anymore.
I'm fucking delirious.
My ears are fucking hot.
Yeah, we've only eaten one meal today, and then we had donuts in the morning.
I'm just out of it.
Yeah, and then we had smoothies, and then, yeah.
Needs to fucking find deodorant.
That's the only thing we learned today.
If we get to the next 200,000 members on Patreon, we're going to find a gift to get a bed, bath, and beyond.
Yeah, we're going to do a little thing called Secret Santa for our staff, And what's going to be in his stocking is a men's deodorant.
We got a secret stinky.
Cuz, should we do?
What are we doing anymore?
We just lost the guy.
We're cackling that.
We should cackle that.
Cackle that too.
And you got to cackle the.
Deodorant will help.
No, come on.
No one heard him. No, that was the first thing we had to cackle. Okay, so it's all cackle the... Deodorant will find fun. No, come on. I don't want to hurt him.
No, that was the first thing we had to cackle.
Okay, so it's all cackled.
And we're back.
Yeah, we're back.
I'm back with Harry Tuckman.
You guys are too tired to tell us which one's the cackle.
Yeah, we don't know what's going on.
Mike, you just want to tell us about Harry Tuckman, I'm going to take a nap.
Yeah.
First, let's just ask Mike.
Mike's in a good mood today.
Thank God.
He is in a good mood.
Yeah, we're going to invite him to the next meeting.
Yeah. Just ask Mike. Mike's in a good mood today. Thank God. Yeah, we're going to invite him to the next meeting. Yeah, last episode he was really in a bad mood.
It's good to see him back.
Yeah, he was in a bad mood because of fucking, yeah.
Because, yeah, we know.
Yeah, a couple of fatties.
You know what?
This is my favorite.
My favorite.
Okay, we got Crystal Clear Chrissy.
We got Steel Pipe Chrissy And a new Chrissy has emerged
That we have yet to identify
And that Chrissy is called Burn It Down Chrissy
Burn It Down Chrissy
Burn It Down Chrissy
Your new nickname is General Sherman
Or Chrissy Swingers
I'm taking swings
You're taking swings
Yeah
You're taking swings
Yeah I'm Chrissy Swing Man
You're Chrissy fucking Burn It Down General Sherman Yeah General fucking Sherman swings you're taking swings yeah you're taking swings yeah i'm chrissy swing man you're chrissy
fucking burn it down general sherman yeah general fucking sherman you're burning a hole through the
fucking comedy scene it's what it is yeah like yeah girds burning a hole through my esophagus
and i'm burning a hole through the comedy scene i'm harry tuckman you're harry tuckman that's what
you do yeah that's what i like to do when i get my lapus i'm harry tuckman and now mike yeah you're
in a good mood today, which is good.
Because last week, I thought I was going to have to start tickling you to make you laugh.
Yeah.
And I will tickle you.
Are you doing okay?
It smells really good.
Everything's going good?
Yeah.
It's what it is.
Mike, how's your podcast going?
I already quit that.
Yeah, fuck it.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And then you also have to quit Bobby's, too.
Because we can't have you running from our
Sandra Dee shoots to go do his bullshit.
We're just going to have to hire you full time.
It's what it is.
By the way.
Everyone's hiring.
I'm hiring the Russian kid too even though he does nothing.
I'm hiring him to sit in the corner.
That's what we need.
He just needs to sit there.
Yeah.
That's it.
You're on the staff.
Yeah.
We just need someone to sit in the corner and be unsure what he's doing here.
Yeah.
You're just going to.
Yeah. We need someone at all times to be like, who corner and be unsure what he's doing here. Yeah, you're just gonna, yeah. We need
someone at all times to be like, who's that? Why
is he here? Yeah, I like him. He's got
fucking UFC fighter face. Yeah.
Here's the deal. Thank you guys.
As you know, we hit the thousand
mark on Patreon at patreon.com
slash Bay Ridge Boys. Let's
be honest. Nobody's doing Patreon
like the history. We're screwed up with that.
We keep getting
compliments from all of our matriarchy members and you're fucking welcome yeah you're welcome
because we're giving you the goods and guess what you're about to get i don't know if they're going
to get this by the time this episode comes out but boom the sandra d video is up and running
yeah it's up and running so i hope you're enjoying your nightmare seeing me as sandra d i mean it is
there's two parts of that that changed my life today.
Two parts of the Sandra Day future.
Do you want to explain to people what that is for our new listeners?
Yes, more on our Patreon.
I want you to explain it.
Okay, so Patreon is a platform where you can go and sign up the lowest $5
to get more content of these crazy gids.
Crazy gids.
I like that.
Crazy gids. Yeah, she's not on air talent. Thank God. get more content of these crazy kids and crazy kids i like that crazy kids yeah you're yeah
she's not on here she's not on air talent thank god she's at least someone doesn't want to have
her own podcast what it is do you want some pervertin we'll lighten you up not yet um but
uh the boys have had a thousand mark of how you have now a thousand patreon members yeah and you
guys promise if you guys got to that, you will make a Sandra D video.
And for those who don't know what Sandra D means,
please go to our History Hyenas website
and you can check out our glossary
that explains all of this crazy lingo.
Exactly.
Historyhyenas.com.
And the two things that changed my life about this video
were one, seeing you as, what's her name?
Rez.
Yeah.
Chrissy plays Rez
singing in the San Jose TV.
And,
and,
when you,
when you see it,
it's going to change your life
in a bad way.
Yeah,
it's bad.
And then the other one,
which I,
I don't think will ever,
it's burned,
it's,
it's burned
an indelible mark
in my brain
was Mike Emoji Face
Mike Suarez playing
dressed as Frenchie from Greece.
I thought it was Marty.
Oh yeah, but we got that picture
up. I can't wait to
post that. When we get that thing up,
Andrew Agos is going to have a ball with that thing.
I can't wait to get that
thing up. You've never seen anything more
funny in your entire life.
I'll be honest with you.
I'm going to post it.
Mike, after you left, they can confirm that I laughed when she sent me the picture she had.
I laughed for like a good three minutes straight.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah, no.
It was just a 10 out of fucking 10.
Yeah.
Shut Zach. Yeah.. Fucking 10. Yeah. Shout to Zach.
Yeah.
Zach.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Shout to the guy in the corner who we're not sure what he's doing.
Yeah.
What do you think?
Yeah.
He's, yeah.
I mean, yeah.
I mean, fucking, next time I try to get on a plane and they ask for my passport, I'm
just going to show them that picture.
Yeah.
And say, that's what I'm a fucking member of.
I look Dutch.
You just, it just, you got a funny face that. I look Dutch. You just, it just,
you got a funny face that goes in a wig.
Yeah.
And it just works out.
Yeah, it's like, you know,
and then, you know, I got to check texts.
Like people are asking me like,
what show is it best to come to Friday or Saturday?
It's like, make, why don't you make your own choice?
You're a grown fucking man.
I have to tell you what show to come to.
Come to whatever fucking show you want, guy.
Are these people on the list?
Yeah, just suck free tickets out of my ass.
Like, what do you want?
Yeah, guy, you gotta,
yeah, you gotta,
what are you gonna do?
I mean, you're Chris,
you're in your hometown,
you're a hometown kid.
I'm a hometown hero.
I'm a hometown hero,
hometown homo.
Let's just call it what it is.
Let's just call it
what it is, Harry Tuckman.
Yeah, I'm Harry Tuckman,
the hometown homo.
Yeah, you're like,
you're like a black kid that just got a fucking NBA deal.
There's a lot of tickets if people want to come to the game. Yeah, they want to get for free,
and they need to put the car seat together to LaGuardia.
Listen, Chrissy, I'm going to be coming to your house earlier
because I need to put the baby to go pick up the sister baby,
and then I only got one costo so if i have
two babies and one costy you know i think i need to borrow your costy to make that too does that
make sense to you can i come by that but i don't need to come to you because you know i'm scared
to take the train to myself so could you put me to maybe uh over and and come yeah so i could come
to your house in the over and then you could drive the Uber back? How does that work?
Yeah, and I will come to you to walk,
but I can't.
Yeah, the Uber has to come inside to my living room
because I broke my foot.
Yeah, can we be doing this?
It doesn't matter.
Yes, because I'm delusional right now.
And it doesn't matter.
I'm delusional and delirious.
And I want to talk about Harriet Tubman.
It's a character piece, yeah.
Harriet Tubman, she was a screwed-in kid, Harriet Tubman.
She was.
She invented the Underground Railroad, which isn't a railroad.
If you think, if you still to this day are listening to this podcast,
and you think the Underground Railroad was an actual railroad,
I got two words for you.
Franks and beans.
That's three words because I'm Franks and beans.
Yeah, the Underground Railroad.
If you think, the Underground Railroad that Harriet Tubman is famous for
is kind of like the History Hi-Hitas podcast.
Yeah.
If you think this is a history podcast, you got another thing coming.
If you think the Underground Railroad is an actual railroad, I mean, you 1,000% are a fan of this podcast.
You're a fan of this podcast, and I guarantee you definitely get government assistance because you're a stupid fucking kid.
You're fucking stupid.
Yeah.
It's just what it is.
It's just what it is. It's just what it is. Now, Harriet Tubman, she was just, the thing is, she's an American hero, and she's going
to be on the $20 bill to get off Andrew Jackson, who's a white racist.
Yeah.
Allegedly.
Well, I mean.
Or he is.
He went to war with a lot of Native Americans, killed a lot of Native Americans.
But they would have killed us if we didn't kill them.
At some point, that's a character piece.
Yeah, it's just a character piece. At some point. It's a character piece. Yeah, it's just a character piece.
At some point.
It's a character piece.
Yeah, it's a complicated situation.
I mean, he did do a lot.
It's not about that.
He committed some atrocities.
The guy did.
And Harriet Tubman, in my opinion, I think a lot of people say,
it's just a better choice.
It's a great, great decision to put someone like that on money
so you can show how we've evolved in our values as a country.
Harriet Tubman was born in 1820, died in 1913.
She was a 93-year-old kid.
Living back then, that's a strong, gene-willed woman.
I mean, babe, to live to 93 back then is like living to 193 now.
I mean, that was an old kid.
She made it a long way, and she also took a blow to the head which uh caused her dizzy spells and kind of
headaches her whole life she was young uh what her slave uh the slave master that she was working
with somebody tried to throw a weight at another slave and that he ducked out of the way like a
fucking cartoon and it hit harry tubman in the head harry tubman was born in marlin you know
how they say it that's how they say marlin marlin yeah which is a good state but you know she was
she was born uh on a slave plantation um and we, you know. She was born on a slave plantation.
And we don't know whether she was born in 1820 or 21.
When you go to the South, though, do you find it disturbing that you could still, like, tour a slave plantation and it looks so beautiful and the grass is cut?
Like, does it bother you when you go to the South that they still have slave plantations?
It's weird, man.
It's weird, right?
It's just a weird...
What do you mean?
As, like like a museum
like i don't have a problem honestly with the confederate statues only because it's history
it's history it's like you need to know where you came from so leave that up there and teach
the children like these were men that in my opinion they could tear them down i don't give
a fuck i mean like put that shit in a museum fucking statues go to winners so i'm actually
for those statues coming down.
Because I'm not for erasing their memory or whatever.
Yeah, you should know about that.
But why are there statues for fucking losers?
And what they stood for and what they were fighting for,
you guys lost and you had a bad cause.
I mean, who's going to say any different than that?
Right, no, I agree.
That's what I believe.
Come at me, bro.
No, I agree with you, bro.
But I'm just saying that I think that the plantations are different than that right no i i agree that's what i believe come at me bro no i'm i agree with you bro but i'm
just saying i'm just saying that i think that the plantations are different because it's like it's
where like it's like having like a constant like even when we visited the concentration camp in
dachau it's like it's cool but it's like if you're taking pictures of it and like the putting on an
instagram like hashtag plantations it's just a little like so many atrocities happen there it's
weird yeah it is.
But I don't know.
But it's a historical site.
Yeah, but I used to go back to St. Matthias
and I got fucked in the ear by a priest there.
So yeah, you go back to,
that's a museum in a way.
Yeah, in a way,
I'm going back to live my atrocities.
It's what it is.
That's where I got screwed in.
Shout out Father Bill.
Yeah, I love that they have stuff like that
because it's history.
I love all the historical societies that preserve.
You're a kid that loves history.
You prance around for history.
I go pew-pew-pew-pewing for it.
You go pew-pewing for history and boat.
And shout out to all the historical societies.
There's one in particular, I can't remember, it escapes me,
that basically saved Savannah.
Are you Yanni Sundowns right now?
I'm Yanni Sundowns and I'm Yanni Overworked.
But Savannah has basically been preserved because of hardcore lobbying from historical societies.
And a lot of those historical societies never get the credit.
But a lot of the history that you can tour that's remained intact is because of historical societies and people of the like, like-minded people like that who want to preserve those things.
And it's important to preserve those things so we learn from history.
Yeah, because you have to, to know where you're going, you have to see where you came from.
To know where you're going, you've got to see where you came from.
It's what it is.
Yeah, that's just, you've got to look back to look forward.
Yeah, you have to.
It's the only way.
But yeah, when you go to those plantations and you see the size of Big Mass's house,
you see those plantation mansions, you go, you know what?
And then you look at the slave quarters on the side or in the back, you go, you know
what buys you a house like that?
And then you turn around and you're like, that right there.
That right there.
When you don't have any expenses.
In 1849, Harriet Tubman escaped her plantation where she was, and she used the Underground Railroad system.
And after a long and scary trip, she made it to Pennsylvania.
And the first thing somebody said to her was, do you want a witter?
Would you like a witter?
Would you like a witter?
You look thirsty from escaping slavery.
Do you want a witter?
It's Tuesday.
Would you like a higgy and a witter?
You look lost.
Are you trying to find out how to get a hoob?
Do you want to get a hoob?
You're in Pennsylvania, and we have hooters on Tuesdays.
And if you want, my wife has a hoob, and you can also have a hoogie and go sixers.
I can help you find out where you're going.
Hold on.
Let me just make a call.
Does anyone have a food?
Does anyone have food?
Oh, look. Even though it's 1849, if you look up, that's a drone.
Go Eagles.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Oh, clone.
Phone.
Yeah.
Oh, would you like, I would, let me call him on the phone and get you a scone.
Because.
That's the first, that's what they said when she got the Pennsylvania.
That's exactly how it happened. That's exactly how it happened. And then she said, I want to go back to slavery. Because. That's the first. That's what they said when she got to Pennsylvania. That's exactly how it
happened.
That's exactly how she
happened.
And then she said,
I want to go back to
slavery.
Yeah.
She goes, I don't like
these fucking Philly
people.
She's like, this Philly
accent is so fucking
bad that I'd rather be
in chains and have to
listen to you say
Wooder.
Because, yeah, Philly
people are animals.
I guarantee you she
came up and they were
like fucking eagles and
they were pouring beer
all over themselves.
Yeah, as soon as she fucking crossed
Pennsylvania, she was like, I'm going back. As soon as she crossed Pennsylvania
and St. Lawrence, she got hit with a fucking battery.
Yeah, that's what happens in that fucking animal
state. You guys are all animal.
Yeah, you're all animal and you all got
fucking fumes, except the one that I cracked open.
Please tell me you're not pregnant.
It's carapace.
A lot of 14. Her real
name is dope, though.
What's her real name?
Her real name was Aramid.
Venetia?
No.
Venetia's a dope name, too.
Venetia's real name is Adolf.
Today it is, right?
Yeah.
Dope.
How do you feel being a Greek kid having a German day?
Yeah.
You're having a German day, and it's being led by a fucking German that we were able to get over to the hike.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I just don't like you in leather-looking coats anymore.
Yeah, you don't want to see it anymore. I just don't like looking at you
and seeing any type of pleather or leather on that body.
It looks too like officer of you-know-whose.
Yeah, but it would have been funny
if I was a Nazi officer
and I enslaved your Greek people.
No, there's nothing funny about that.
No, not that it's funny.
No, there's nothing funny about that.
Me coming with my officer jacket
and then just my butt hanging out of my jacket.
Yeah, that would be funny.
That would be funny.
That would be funny.
I'd get a little giggle
before I went in one of your chambers.
Yeah, yeah.
That would be great.
Yeah, like,
look at this guy's Nazi butt.
One of the most horrific moments
that happened on this podcast
when you said that you were going
to tie me and Vinatia
to the top of a fucking truck
and march us through
so you could kill more
of the Greek villagers.
Yeah, I shouldn't have said that.
You should have said that.
That was a character piece.
That was a character piece, and anything
I said about my family is a character piece.
It's a character piece. That's
my friend, Paddy
Moe Rudy. He only pays for
Fox News. Yeah, it was just
a character piece. It's the only channel he's got, Fox News.
He lost his remote control. He watches Fox News.
It's not his fault. It's just kidding.
It's not his fault.
Just character piece, but let's talk about Harriet Tubman.
She looked like a good kid.
She was a good kid, and her real name, how beautiful is that name?
Araminta.
Oh, gorgeous.
Her birth name was Araminta.
And that was her nickname as a child, was Minty.
Yeah.
Fucking Mint.
So her birth name was Araminta Ross But she eventually took the name of her mother
Which was Harriet
To me, I'm going to say Araminta beats out Harriet
Araminta is more beautiful than Harriet
That would be like if Venetia changed her name to Ethel
Yeah
You know, Venetia is just much more beautiful
Yeah, Venetia is a beautiful name
And is it fully Greek or is it Italian?
Venetia means Venice in Greek
I love how she threw the accent on it
I love when foreign people do that Yeah, Venetia Yeah Venice in Greek I love how she Yeah she threw the accent on it I love when foreign people do that
Yeah Venetia
Yeah
Venetia
Yeah
Yeah just say Venetia
Venetia yes
Yeah
Venetia
Say it the Greek way
Venetia
Venetia
My name's Venetia
What you can hear in that accent
It means Venice in Greek
Yeah it also means
Doors closed for anyone
Who's not Greek
Yeah it's just one day
It's not gonna happen
Yeah
Okay stop Stop leaving your phone number On your fucking review On iTunes Yeah whoever that fucking Greek. Yeah, it also means doors closed for anyone who's not Greek. Yeah, it's just one day. It's not going to happen. Yeah.
Okay, stop leaving your phone number on your fucking review on iTunes. Yeah, whoever that fucking idiot was.
Way to just waste your fucking finger strength because, I mean, the fact that you even thought
you took a chance.
I mean, God, if your name, the only kid that's got a chance on our page is a kid Pericles.
That's it.
Because he's Greek.
He's Greek.
And listen, to the fucking fan I saw last night, this Dan who DM'd me after we stopped
talking three minutes and then said, I'm better looking in person. You fucking fan I saw last night, the Stan who DM'd me after we stopped talking three minutes
and then said I'm better looking in person,
you fucking freaked me out.
Yeah, you freaked me out.
Just say you like the podcast and keep it moving.
Don't text me I'm better looking in person.
I'm fucking freaked out by you.
Yeah, Yonah sent me the screenshot of the message you sent me
and then I locked all my windows and doors.
You're a freak show, but that's your money.
We appreciate all the support.
We appreciate all the fucking support
and I'm looking at my phone instead of my notes.
Yeah.
I'm fucking dehydrated.
Did you just fart?
Could somebody give me a water?
Do you want any water?
Can I get a water?
Let me get a water.
The thing is with Harry Tubman, what's great about-
What's the thing with Harry Tubman?
Because the Underground Railroad is what most people-
Talk to me to Professor Stefano.
She was also a spy.
She was a spy for the North.
She knew, here's what happened because she realized that when the North started to come and liberate all the slaves in the South, when they started to march in, they would just burn down their plantations and the slaves would hide in the woods.
But she realized that the gunner boats that the Union Army had would take the slaves behind enemy lines.
So she started leading behind Union lines where they would be free.
So Harry Tummin started leading Union troops to where
different plantations were
because she had inside info
and they would raid the plantations,
free the slaves,
and then they would take the slaves
with Harry Tummin
on the Union gunner boats
and take them back
to the free north.
She was a remarkable woman.
Yeah, Harry Tummin,
like she would go,
she's a great example
of a person who went above and beyond.
Now, you've got to understand what the railroad was.
It's kind of like the game Frogger.
It's like everywhere is unsafe territory, and there's these safe houses everywhere.
And so it was basically a map of safe houses.
So they would kind of leapfrog from one to the other, stay in hiding there, maybe spend the night.
Then at night, the next day or a week later, they'd get on the run again.
And it was safe house to safe house, just leapfrogging like Frogger to get all the way to Canada.
The goal was to get to Canada, especially after the slave.
Giannis just ripped the paper in half.
Yeah, especially after.
There should be a minute for this history question.
What's the act called?
What was the slavery? The slavery app? No. minute for this history question. What's the act called? What was the slavery...
The slavery app?
No, the app.
Oh, I thought you said, what's the app called?
I was like, oh, no.
Imagine there was an app for slavery.
That would be brutal.
Yeah, that would be brutes, magoons.
That would have fumes, that app.
What would the slavery app be called?
What was it called, that act?
The Fugitive Slave Act.
Say it again?
The Fugitive Slave Act.
So the Fugitive Slave Act.
1850.
Especially after 1850. This Fugitive Slave Act was an act that said basically that if you were an escaped slave.
Like you escaped.
You made it to the north.
If you were an escaped slave and you were in a free territory, it didn't matter.
You would be captured and returned to your owner.
But who would?
So you had to get to Canada to get out of.
But guy, let me ask you this.
You got to get out,
you had to,
at that point,
you wanted to get
out of the bounds
of this great country
and the laws of this great country
because they weren't so great.
They weren't so great.
The laws weren't so great.
But guy,
let me ask you this question.
Ask me the fucking question,
Let me ask you this question,
guy.
If you went to the north,
let's say,
let's say you're a slave
and you made it,
you know,
from South Carolina,
you know,
you got your town's creek
cracked open and cleaned out
at Rocky Hill Dentistry
and then you made it and then you make it out and you make it to the north.
You get all the way up to Ninth Street Auto Collision in Long Island and you're free.
You're free in Ninth Street.
And you got nice, clean, fucking pearly white teeth from Dr. Harvey Spencer Jr.
Yeah.
So down in South Carolina.
Wait, that's actually funny.
Are you saying that, like, God forbid something horrible happens again and the South tries to do some stupid shit and bring back slavery,
that we, through our $100 sponsors,
have developed an underground railroad to escape to New York City?
Yeah, an underground railroad to escape,
and then we got...
But you do what you started,
Harvey Spencer Jr.'s dentistry.
Yeah, and then you get CBD, script, oil
to get you through the journey,
and then we got different stops along the way
where there's meals provided by Nutrition Made Fun.
And then if you want to be a healthy kid because you need the healthy calories, then you take
a little Lakeside Maple and put it in your ass.
Put it in your ass.
It gives you superpowers.
And then if you put too much Lakeside Maple up your ass and you get an infection, you
talk to Dr. Sandra Azizi, who's a GI doctor.
He's a GI doctor, and he'll fix you up.
He'll fix your ass right up.
So let's say you make it to 9th Street Auto Collision.
And if you get caught and you're just depressed, then you got to take
some CBD script.
Yeah, and if you just...
Yeah, you got to take
some CBD script.
Yeah.
Yeah, and if you shit your pants
and you need clean underwear,
then you could go on
to Tank's Good News
and get a pair of his tiny ones.
Yeah, then you go to
Tank's Good News
and just feel good about yourself
even though you've been captured.
Yeah, even though
you've been captured, yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah, and then...
And then James the Chooser
just fucking get Bitcoin.
Yeah, and then James Altucher
will just be there
handing you $500 a minute.
It doesn't matter.
Kid's got too much money.
He's best friends with Tony Robbins.
Yeah.
So that's how we're going
to do our sponsors from now on.
That's how we're going to do it.
We're going to work.
Yeah, we'll work them
into our history.
We'll work them into the story.
So let me ask you a question.
So let's say you've made it
all the way up to
Ninth Street Auto Collision.
Yeah, guy.
And now you're safe
in the North.
Yeah, guy.
Okay, you're safe
in the Northern States.
Now, with this 1850s Fugitive Slave Act, was it Northern people that would turn the
slaves, turn you into a Southern person for money?
Yes.
Or was they letting the South come in?
Both.
So it was a dirty game.
So that's the thing.
That's the thing.
Even though I'm a Northern kid and I fucking love this country and I'm happy to be a citizen
of the Northeast,
I don't believe that the North was completely innocent either.
I mean, they would probably do stuff like that.
And also, really a big part of it was like the cotton was in the South.
So it's like geography is destiny.
I've said it before.
I'll say it again.
Geography is destiny.
I feel like the South did what they did.
They're not more evil people.
They just – they needed – they didn't need the slaves. the cotton was there and they to get the mass product out they had they they had the slaves on the plantations where the north they didn't need
slaves as much as the south did right imo the people who were helping um at these safe houses
were called conductors um so they weren't actual train conductors, as we just mentioned.
Yeah, every time those train conductors come by
and they look,
I can never find my ticket to punch a hole through,
but I will punch the next conductor through
if he looks at me wrong.
Yeah, you will.
I'll punch somebody's dog
and kiss them right on the mouth.
I'll punch somebody's dog
and kiss them softly on the fucking lips.
I'm a horned up kid.
I'm unpervotant.
That's what's gonna happen.
So, you know, that's what they would do.
They were called conductors,
but they would basically facilitate the escape from these slaves.
Harriet Tubman herself, it's thought, led 19 different escapes from the South and helped around 300 slaves.
Wow.
To escape to Canada.
Absolutely.
So there's a bunch of black people living in Canada now that say A.
That say A because they're there.
Yeah.
Yeah.
They say, yo, I like the new Drake, A.
Yeah.
And it's because of Harriet Tubman. God bless her. Drake is one of them. Drake is probably one of them. Yeah. That say A. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. They say, yo, I like the new Drake A. Yeah. And it's because of Harriet Tubman.
God bless her.
Well, Drake was one of them.
Drake was probably one of them.
Yeah.
He's also half Jew.
Yeah.
Yeah.
He's got a good mix.
He's got a good mix there.
She was known as Moses.
She was an extremely religious woman.
She learned religion and about the Bible and all that from her mother, whose name is Harriet.
If I was born during this time, I would be a really religious person too.
Yeah.
I mean, it's like, what else are you going, I would be a really religious person too. Yeah. I mean,
it's like,
what else are you going to do?
Yeah.
You know?
Yeah.
It's like,
you could die from an infection,
there's slavery,
you have to somehow like,
pretend like you're okay
with this whole thing.
They used to call it
the peculiar institution.
I mean,
that's a weird,
can you imagine?
It's so far fetched from us
because it's not part
of our experience at all,
but there was a time that like, you'd walk around and there was slaves.
You were looking at somebody going, you're not a free person.
You don't have rights.
They don't teach you as a human being.
You don't have rights, dude.
That's nuts.
Yeah, that's why Harriet Tubman, they're not even sure if she was born in 1820 or 1821
because she was born into slavery where they just didn't even care about record keeping for them.
Yeah.
Which is brutal.
I mean, it's absolutely freaking, freaking brutal, man.
She was so successful at helping the slaves escape.
I mean, because she was a celebrity in her own right,
for obviously all the right reasons,
that there was a $40,000 reward put on her head to capture her.
Yeah.
Because she was just so good at getting the fucking slaves free.
Yeah, and she was a homeowner, too.
She owned a home?
She owned a home.
She actually bought a house.
In New York City.
She moved to New York City. Well, Auburn, New York. Oh, and she was a homeowner, too. She owned a home? She owned a home. She actually bought a house. In New York City. She moved to New York City.
Well, Auburn, New York.
Oh, I thought she moved to the city.
You got to show a passport to get to Auburn, New York?
You do have to show a passport to get to New York.
Yeah.
I'm sorry.
That's my friend, Patty Mulroney.
He only has one channel.
Yeah, I remember one time my dad noticed my mother's hair was different.
He's like, what'd you dye it?
Auburn?
And he knew that that was a gay thing.
He's like, I didn't mean like that.
I meant like the school
I was like shut up
Yeah
So she bought
She actually bought a house
For her
For her parents
After she helped her parents
Now this is a really
Good part of the story
She actually
Via the Underground Railroad
Helped her parents
Escape the South
And bought them a freaking house
Fuck yeah
In Auburn, New York
Hell yeah New York. Hell yeah.
New York.
Cute.
Let's go drink a smoothie.
Yeah, by the way, real quick, I just want to say in 1863,
with that raid that I was talking about where she helped free the slaves
with the North, it was Colonel James Montgomery
and 150 black soldiers on a gunboat raid in South Carolina,
maybe close to Rocky Hill.
Maybe they were getting their town.
Rock Hill, South Carolina.
Rock Hill.
A healthy, happy smile.
She had inside information from her scouts
that the Union gun and the Union gun barts
were able to surprise the Confederate rebels
in South Carolina because of Harriet Tubtub.
I always feel like there's like so many different people
named Montgomery in American history.
Yeah.
There's always some fucking lieutenant colonel
named Montgomery.
Yeah.
There's too many Montgomery.
There's too many Montgomery's. There's too many Muhammad's. Yeah. There's always some fucking lieutenant colonel named Montgomery. Yeah. There's too many Montgomery's.
There's too many Montgomery's.
There's too many Muhammad's.
Wait, it's not
just a popular name.
I'm saying just
a popular name.
I didn't mean that.
It's just Montgomery's
not too much like Muhammad's.
I know what you're saying.
You're just saying that
I didn't mean it that
anything about the Muslim religion
is just a part of the piece.
It's like there's too many Johns.
Like there's too many
Yannis in Greece.
Yeah.
Right?
There's too many Johns. Yeah. And there's not enough Venetia. Yeah. Johns Like there's too many Yannis in Greece Yeah Right There's too many Johns
Yeah
And there's not enough
Vanity
Yeah
Sorry there's not enough
Vanity
Vanity
It's a good thing
Montgomery went away
Yeah
You don't want to be
At Starbucks
And have too many
Montgomery's
Like oh that's my latte
Yeah
Exactamundo
Yeah there's a lot of names
We should bring
Montgomery back though now
Cause now it's been out
For a while
Let's bring Montgomery back
You think so?
Old timey names
Old timey Just the names I don't want the Fucking ideas coming back But just the names Nice Montgomery because now it's been out for a while. Let's bring Montgomery back. You think so? Old-timey names. Old-timey.
Just the names.
I don't want the fucking ideas coming back,
but just the names.
Nice Montgomery.
What's another good fucking name?
Phineas.
She also led...
Aloysius.
Aloysius.
Good name.
Matthias.
Harriet.
Ichabod.
Ichabod.
Wow, that's a good name.
Jesus.
Well, Jesus is alive and well in the Hispanic community.
Yeah, if you ever need to get your tire changed, it's probably
Jesus did it. Yeah. Jesus.
Just kidding.
These are just stupid jokes.
My brain is fried. It's like, I
know that these are low caliber jokes. Just come at him.
Sorry about that, but say it to my face and
guess where your face is going to go? Mashed potatoes.
We got a
fucking bunch of mashed potatoes for a bunch of people. Yeah, for a bunch of people. We're going to walk around with fucking mashed potatoes. Yeah, that's what I'm going to do. That's going to go Mashed potatoes We got a fucking Bunch of mashed potatoes
For a bunch of people
Yeah for a bunch of people
We're going to walk around
With fucking mashed potatoes
Yeah that's what I'm going to do
That's going to be one of our
First sketches that we live
It's just me walking around
With a plate of mashed potatoes
And people fucking pissing me off
And then their face going in it
Face goes in mashed potatoes
That's an awesome idea for us
Yeah I'm going to walk around
With a bucket of mashed potatoes
If you put Mike's face
In a mashed potato
He's just going to start eating it
Yeah
That's not wrong
He's just going to start
Licking around My aunt Annie makes The best mashed potatoes And I wish I could to start eating it. Yeah. That's not wrong. He's just going to start licking around.
That's not wrong.
My Aunt Annie makes the best mashed potatoes, and I wish I could have them, but I didn't
get invited to the holidays.
Oh, you're looking through the window like fucking Oliver Twist.
Yeah, I'm going to sleep outside 420's house.
That's what you're going to do.
And by the way, stop messaging me, our fans, even though I love you guys, about, I'm not
coming to your house for the holidays either.
You're like, oh, sorry.
Hey, I know you never met me, but you could come by my house.
I'm like, no, you live in fucking Mississippi. Is anyone
starting to suspect that 420 doesn't exist?
It's just a character piece? Because Chris is a liar.
I think 420 is just Chris.
Yeah, I think it's just Chris.
He has another Instagram account
and he has this other life we
don't know about. I'm a psychopath.
I mean, I can't tell you how many times I just
sit and laugh in my bathtub.
That makes me so happy.
Yeah.
Yeah, I mean, there's more.
I'm not alone.
Yeah, it's what it is.
Go to my website, christycomedy.com.
I'm doing theaters now.
It's just what it is.
You got to sell the tickets to do the theaters because I don't want to do comedy clubs in a fucking mall anymore. But are we gonna get
proof that 420 exists?
Wait, what
is it? What song is this? Is this American
History Act? Goodbye Horses.
Because this is what I think happens.
I think you come home and you say
What is this from? Honey, I'm home!
420!
I'm home! And then you run to the
other side of the room and you say,
Hi, Kraft.
I've been waiting for you for a long time.
And that's you just tuck back.
Yeah.
No pants on.
Harry Tuckman.
And then you just walk right to the middle of the room and you start just fucking dancing.
Yeah.
And you just start fucking dancing.
Oh, yeah.
That's what it is.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So you are 420. Little Buffalo Bill is Yeah So you are 420
Little Buffalo Bill
Yeah you're 420
Yeah
And you talk to yourself
And you start making out
With yourself in the mirror
It's what it is
Yeah
What it is
But then one day
My appetite's gonna get too much
And then you're gonna become 420
That's what's gonna happen
I'm gonna take you from your bed
In the middle of the night
And you're gonna put my skin on you
Yeah you're gonna wake up
And you're just gonna wake up
And you're just like
What's in my feet
And I'm gonna be sniffing them
Yeah And you're gonna go Benatia's're just going to wake up and you're like, what's in my feet? I'm going to be sniffing them. Yeah.
And you're going to go, Benetia's going to go to the
bathroom and she's just going to see my corpse
in the fucking bathtub and she's
going to go, what's that? What's that?
And you're going to go, put the fucking
dog in the bathtub. Yeah.
She's going to turn back. Because you're going to make a fucking
flesh suit out of me. I'm going to be full Harriet
Tuckman. Yeah. Yeah.
But you're going to be happy because it'll be the first time
that your eyes are far enough apart.
Yeah, because you can
pull them apart with scissors.
With scissors.
What are we doing?
What have we become?
Let's read the Patreon name.
This is magic.
This is Manning.
Harriet Tubman.
She lived 93 to 93.
She fucking made
the Underground Railroad,
which isn't a railroad.
She's a great, great,
great American hero.
She deserves and will be on
the $20 bill.
And if she was running for president right now,
she would be a female.
I would and could vote for it.
I'm with her.
When I say I'm with her, it's because I'm with Harriet Tubman.
Yeah, you know, when you little millennials are running around and thinking,
you know what, I did so much today because I said hashtag resist.
Just remember people like Harriet Tubman, what they did.
She lived till 93 years old.
She's responsible for about 750 slaves escaping during the Civil War.
She acted as a fucking spy.
She was a conductor in the fucking Underground Railroad.
She had a $40,000 bounty on her head, and nobody caught her,
and she brought her parents home in Auburn, New York City.
Yeah.
The girl was a nurse.
Yeah.
She was born a slave, ended up a nurse, and then brought her parents home.
Kyo! Kyo! Well, yeah, where you fucking are saying hashtag resist The girl was a nurse. Yeah. She was born a slave, ended up a nurse, and then brought her parents home. Yeah.
For you.
Well, yeah.
Well, you fucking are,
you know,
saying hashtag resist
and then starting to go fund me
to buy a car.
Yeah.
Yeah.
All right.
Let's read the page.
Okay.
So let's read the page on.
We're going to read
the sponsors first
as Mark.
No, we did the sponsors.
No, we did that last episode.
Did we weave the sponsors in?
You did them here.
You weaved them into the thing.
Oh, I forgot. I'm sorry. I'm in a blackout and I'm tired. Yeah, blackout that last episode. Did we weave the sponsors in? You did them here. You weaved them into the thing. Oh, I forgot.
I'm sorry.
I'm in a blackout and I'm tired.
Yeah, blackout and I'm tired.
And Max and Truman's isn't a properly enough worked out bit yet, so let's just put it on
high.
No, but that's why I want to start doing it so we can start to figure it out.
Why don't we do it in the car when it's just me and you talking?
Well, I'll just come over to your house and I won't be wearing pants and we'll both talk
back and we'll just talk about black eyes.
Yeah. Yeah. I love Blackhawks. Yeah.
I love the Blackhawks.
Yeah.
Okay.
We're two Bavarian guys who like Black Dick.
These people went to
Patreon.com
slash Bay Ridge Boys.
They joined the matriarchy.
We'll read your name out
as we do each and every episode
for our newest Patreon members.
There's a lot of them today.
The matriarchy is fucking growing.
Yes.
I mean, it's growing.
There were three of them.
73, so we're going to read them quick. If you didn't want to make a name, we understand. We'll just say your name and then straight to the back. I mean, it's growing. There were three of them. 73, so we're going to read them quick.
If you didn't want to make a name, we understand.
We'll just say your name and then straight to the back.
All right, let's go.
Jack Matthews, straight to the back.
Straight to the back.
Zach, not a muzzy, but down with ISIS bowers.
I think that kid's making just more of a political statement.
Fumes you can taste shouldn't go to waste.
Yeah, just throw his name down right now.
By the way, real quick, we also give the winner of PPW Pseudo Penis of the Week, because
hyenas have pseudo penises, so we'll pick the winner after this.
Yeah.
That's why we're saying write it down.
Lukey B, ready to bring Chrissy D to Poughkeepsie for the boys.
Put him on the list.
Put him on the list.
Yes.
Bobby 1-800-NO-MORE-TOOTS.
Yeah, he hit me hard.
Got to go on the list. Wow, I think we got a barn burnerots. Yeah, he hit me hard. Got to go on the list.
Wow, I think we got a barn burner today.
Yeah, all right.
Baby D's nuts got fumes, but still cracked open.
Good one.
Try Drexler.
Clyde Drexler.
Clyde Drexler.
What we say is, because the other ones are Michael Jordan,
Clyde Drexler's a basketball player that lived in Michael Jordan's prime,
so just some bad stuff.
You're great, but you're born in the wrong era.
Wrong era.
Then we got David here for the content.
Cameron, I got a low-grade Feeble Wood.
And Feeble F-V-A-H.
Funny, but good one.
Clyde Drexler.
Mark Perez here for the content.
Here for the content.
Jake, Father Bill's a pedo because he touched my pink torpedo.
Ciccone.
Just give him the title.
It's over.
I mean, we might not even read the rest of the names.
Give him the title.
Give me one more.
Repeat that one more time.
Jake, Father Bill's a pedo because he touched my pink torpedo, Ciccone.
What it is?
Oh, my God.
Okay, then we got Logan Leistman.
Share for the content.
That Scottish one.
My piece burns probably the clap, Kyle.
Yeah, I mean, good one, Clyde Drexler.
Manny Cedeno.
Here for the content.
Sandra Dee, the ginger camel jockey.
Oh, what the fuck?
He's on the fence, and he got bounced back.
Okay.
Good one, though.
Lem G.
Here for the content.
Ariana Cavitolo.
How you doing?
Your father's out there in a van.
Yeah, Hailey.
Hailey.
Mary Sutera.
Ha-cha-da-ba-la.
Anastasia One.
Yeah.
Steph Andrews.
Here for the content.
Johnny, I'll crack you open and clean you out two times.
Good.
Good, but you know.
I would say he was more of a,
he was more of a, not a Clyde Drexler,
but more of just a role player.
Now, this is all one word, so I'm going to try my best here.
Go for it.
Jose, here for the cunt, but actually VIP Walker,
Cozy... cunt, but actually VIP Walker cozy
Australian build the wall.
Cozy Mexie Australian build the wall.
It's a nice effort, but it's too long.
We like it. Thank you for your service. Kid tried to do a triple
backflip and he fell on the beam. It's what it is.
Next up, Lauren looks like Pocahontas
but gives a blowy like Ursula Greco.
Put her on a list.
Yeah, 10. And also my snapchat cd tv
amanda amanda bruno brian dinger here for content danny slurp it till i serve it splurging but it's
burning devito put him on the left yeah devito's funny yeah britney uh-oh i think this is poppins
yeah he doesn't smoke. Matt Kirby.
Amelia Sadie.
Here for the content.
Corinne Cesar.
Here for the content.
Wilson Jones.
Here for the content.
David going to sit in the catapult like a good little girl.
Davila.
Yeah.
Holy shit.
This might be the best list.
Then we got Khalil Jones.
Here for the content.
I am Chrissy's cute toot short and kraut.
Yeah. Okay. Triple back. Fell on the beam. Stefano Lupo. I'm straight to the content. I am Chrissy's cute, toot, short, and kraut. Yeah.
Okay.
Triple back, fell on the beam.
Stefano Lupo.
I'm straight to the back.
Church of the latter 14 day saints,
AKA Primo, AKA the frostback.
I don't know.
Triple backflip, fell on the beam.
Zay Jabool.
Uh-oh.
Straight to the back.
Jeff, not Epstein, consensually cracking open ham wallets.
You tuck it, I cuck it.
Jesus Christ, this is the best list of all time.
Okay, Steven Monroe.
I'm straight to the back.
Sean, cracking toots and packet snooze.
Hoolahan.
Fine.
Clyde Drexler.
Charlie.
Here for the content.
Theo Vons Mullet.
It's goodie.
It's goodie.
Not an FF was just experimenting. Don't a goodie. It's a goodie. Not an FF. Was just experimenting.
Don't tell my dad he voted for Trump.
Yeah.
Then we got another long one word.
Stosh Big Dumb Polak, a.k.a. Adolph, rolled over my boys.
Thank Brooklyn Jesus for that.
Yeah, it's a goodie.
It's a goodie.
It's a goodie.
You can put him down.
Gabriel Bowen.
Gabriel Bowen.
Katie Cowell.
Here for the contest. Daniel Ramirez.
Welcome. Pat from Philly. Here for the contest. Daniel Ramirez. Welcome.
Pat from Philly.
Pat from Philly.
Chris, can you ask your dad to give me my debit card back?
Jesus Christ.
Yeah, it's such a goodie.
Oh, my God.
That one killed fucking Mike.
Yeah.
Brian Thickass with a thin piece.
Badim.
Yeah.
Clyde Drexler.
Jessica Tapscott.
Brandon.
Jim, I've got a sore on my piece, so don't tell my wife, Barry.
Clyde Drexler.
Troy.
Here for the content.
Mark Sullivan.
Welcome to the back.
Jake the Jew Goldstein.
Yeah, I mean, he's an honorary mention.
Lindsey Double D's Augenthaler.
Here for the content.
Kinda tried.
Juan Pablo the White Walker who loves banging white toots.
Yeah.
Fell on the beam.
Jason Booty.
Welcome, Jason.
Jersey kid with his jaw out looking to crack open and clean out.
Good one, but that's a definition of a Clyde Drexler.
Amir Hadian.
Welcome.
We got some muzzies.
Dolph, cute, non-fruit, but will crack open the glutes.
Lombardi.
Good one.
God, you got to put that on the list.
Jesus Christ.
Nicola.
Nicola.
Cole Taylor.
Juan P. Valencia.
Megan.
And then finally, Nicole Chrissy cracked me open on the United Nations porch.
International waters.
International waters.
Good one.
Clyde Drexler.
International Waters Good one, Clyde Drexler
I mean, that's like
The winner, I don't know if we've had a winner
That stood out as much
As the winner, there were some great ones
That was one of the best lists of all time
But the winner is without a doubt
The Torpedo
Yeah, my favorite one
I mean, the new guy's fucking not in his head
I mean, that guy crushed it.
All right, what's his name, Mike?
Jake.
Father Bell's a pedo because he touched my pink torpedo, Ciccone.
You're the PPW, Mr. Ciccone.
You might be number one overall.
Overall, yeah.
You got the PPW, so congrats for that,
and sorry for just the years of pain you've been in.
What can you do, right?
It was hard
to fucking make the hhppw it was go to uh janicepappascomedy.com go to chris uh chrisdcomedy.com
check out our days historyhyenas.com for a lot of fun stuff we're revamping our website you can
go lead our glossary go read our glossary if you got new friends listening or you want to
introduce the podcast to your friends.
A great way to start is by sending them over to HistoryHyenas.com,
reading the glossary of all the words and our jargon
and our language that we've created.
So thank you for telling friends.
Also, as Venetia always says, it's very important,
go over to iTunes, leave a review, give us some five-star reviews.
It really moves us up the queue,
and we really appreciate all the proactive support
each and every one of you has given us.
It's because of you that we're doing this,
and as you can tell, your money's well spent
because we got smoothies today.
Yeah, that's what it is.
I'm putting everything on the company card,
including my Disney trip.
See ya. Ha ha!