History Hyenas with Chris Distefano and Yannis Pappas - 111 - Iran Hostage Crisis was WILD!
Episode Date: January 12, 2020With the current situation with Iran looking like it could go full Hot Pocket, the Cuzzies decide to have a look at the Hostage Crisis from 1979! Whats the FF moves that got us there, what made it so ...franks and beans, and how'd we get out of it!Want more Hyena content? Check out www.patreon.com/bayridgeboys where things get really WILD!Follow us!: 🙆🏼♂️🐕🙆🏻♂️🙆🏼♂️Chris Distefano on Instagram, Twitter, website🙆🏻♂️Yannis Pappas on Instagram, Twitter, website🐕History Hyenas on Instagram, Twitter, website Subscribe to the poddy woddy on YouTube, iTunes, Spotify, and HH Clips
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Hey, yo! What's up everybody?
Welcome to another episode of the History of Hyenas.
Are the mics too loud?
But if they are, they are.
It's okay.
This is the Hyenas.
Sometimes the mics will be too loud.
Sometimes they'll be too soft.
It's Chrissy D and yanni p and the whole
crew is here and we've been having conversations and here's how these things are going to work now
when there needs business to be done the german is going to do it when it's fun time in about a
minute and a half the greek will lead the way but let's just start this podcast off very german
right now first of all i want to say thank you so much to all the support. Our website, historyhyenas.com, is now updated.
So go fucking check it out.
Also, follow me, Chris D.
Follow me, at Chris D. Comedy.
And follow Giannis, at Giannis Pappas.
And of course...
No, it's at Giannis Pappas.
At...
Oh!
Just shut the fuck up.
Yes!
Okay, you Greek fucking peasant.
Shut up, or I'll fucking take over your country like I did in the 40s.
You had nothing to do with that.
Shut up.
Chris D. Comedy and Giannis Pappas on Instagram
and History Hyenas on Instagram.
ChristyComedy.com for all my tour dates.
I have January 24th, Hamden, Connecticut.
January 25th, Celebrity Theater Atlantic City, New Jersey.
And February 8th, the Kennedy Center, Washington, D.C.
Giannis Pappas, what are your dates?
My dates are as follows. You can get tickets at Giannis Pappas, what are your dates? My dates are as follows.
You can get tickets at GiannisPappasComedy.com.
Go to Gotham if you live in New York.
That's on February 21st and 22nd.
Or if you live in Point Pleasant, New Jersey, you can go to Uncle Vinny's.
February 27th, 28th.
Get tickets at GiannisPappasComedy.com.
Yes, and of course, like everything else, Patreon.com slash BayRidgeBoys
for all our extra content
and all the good shit that we really have to offer
is at Patreon.com slash BayRidgeBoys.
Today, we're going to be talking about
the Iran hostage crisis
because we're back at war with the Iranians.
Yeah.
And we're all about getting in that search engine.
And here comes a construction worker again.
Yeah, again.
We're working it out.
This is a good guy. This guy's funny. He's got a friendly face. that search engine and here comes a construction worker again yeah again we're working it out this
this is this is a good guy this guy's fun he's got a friendly face and i'm and i'm almost i'm
80 sure he has a u.s passport yeah the other guys i just don't know yeah they could be here illegally
yeah but i think this was the guy that locked the door the last time for yeah but that's been
taken care of because the door was locked last time here at the comedy seller uh podcast uh
because they found it yeah in it So it's just what it is.
It happens.
Yeah, I mean,
was...
a guest on anyone's episode?
I didn't know he did...
I'm just joking.
Okay.
You may have to cackle.
We may have to cackle.
We will have to cackle
because that kid's a mobby
that will kick our heads off.
Yeah, it's what it is.
Even though he's 24-7 drunk.
It's what it is.
Now, listen.
But there's no fucking heat
in this studio.
You're a kid...
Now, you're a kid
whose body's getting bigger and shirts are getting smaller.
What's the deal?
Well, yeah.
It's just I'm a guy who constantly fluctuates with my weight day to day, week to week.
The thing, we said something the other day where you said it's either jacked with no hair or fat with hair.
What's it going to be?
Here's the deal.
This is what our podcast is.
It's the deal. This is what our podcast is. It's a heartbeat. It is a vacillating
living organism where we constantly
fluctuate between business and
play, German and Greek,
male and female.
It's just what happens. I have
hair. I don't have hair. You're gelled up.
You're not gelled up. You're acting like a boy.
You're acting like a girl. It's just
you got a chain on. The chain's in. The chain's
out. It's what it it is It's back and forth
And together
Like everything else
With me and Giannis
Separately
We're no good
But together
We just form one
Really good podcast
Yeah
No
Here's what it is
When we are apart
When we are just
Walking these streets
Alone
Mono
And that's it
Yeah
We're walking alone
Yeah
We are two
They call us something different in Brooklyn
Half of something
Yeah they call us Phenox
Yeah they would say
Well they would say half of Phenox
Yeah they would say half of Phenox
But when we come together
We form one
Fierce
Yes
Transformer
Straight man
Straight man
We come together
We form one
Like Wonder Twins activate,
we form one guy
who happens to like women.
Yeah,
we're just,
that's just how it is.
But we need to be together
to be straight.
Yeah,
we need to be together.
The only way
that we're ever straight,
we said this the other day
on the Barstool podcast,
shout out Barstool
and KFC Radio
and Sean Latham,
$20 chef,
for having us come through Barstool.
We really appreciate that.
But we said it the other day,
it's like,
yeah,
we're not for sure.
I know for sure.
I know for sure I am not gay,
but I also know for sure I am not straight.
That's what I know.
Yeah, it's a-
Chris, no.
Yeah, you're a 50-50,
because you're what I call a pancake.
Yeah, I'm a flapjack.
Yeah, you're a flapjack.
You got to be flipped every couple minutes
in order to get that perfect golden crisp. Yeah, I'm a pancake with raisins. Yeah, you're a pancake. I'm a raisjack. Yeah, you're a flapjack. You've got to be flipped every couple minutes in order to get that perfect golden crisp.
Yeah, I'm a pancake with raisins.
Yeah, you're a pancake.
I'm a raisin.
You're a kid who occasionally likes to enjoy a box of raisins.
It's what it is.
Now, also, a lot of people have been DMing me the Call Her Daddy podcast, which is the biggest podcast, I believe, on Barstool.
One of the girls said that she got cracked open on a lovesack last week, and they're asking me the people sending this clip that is not me i don't i don't know who the girls are i've never
met them but they're mentioning one of them had sex got she said i went up to this guy's place
and he had a love sack and he had sex with me on the love sack did he did she say cracked open or
she's they're saying the fans are saying cracked open she's i saw the clip said no she said guy
fucked me on the love sack right well but no it's like i just want to let our fans know i didn't
create the love sack i mean love sex it's like, I just want to let our fans know, I didn't create the love sack.
I mean, the love sack,
they have stories everywhere,
so just because somebody
gets cracked on the love sack
doesn't mean it's me.
Hey, look,
let's just be crystal clear,
all right?
We're a podcast
that likes to have a little fun,
and I'm going to tightrope
walk the line right now.
Let's do it.
Okay?
Yeah, let's tightrope the line
like the Iranians did
with the hostage crisis in 1979.
Yeah.
Because they were tightrope-off, but they almost got crisis in 1979. Yeah. Because they were tightrope open.
They almost got nuked.
Yeah.
I almost put them in the microwave.
You always get the microwave door open ready to throw popcorn in there.
Yeah, I'm always ready to fucking pop some kernels, a.k.a.
Sandra Dee's.
Let me walk the line a little bit.
It's character piece.
Weishang Xian that.
Weishang Xian.
If you're walking along the street like Matthew Broussard was with his girlfriend, and some kid comes up behind and punches his girlfriend in the head for no reason
and plays the knockout game on his girlfriend when he just moved to New York City,
which is a true story, you got a prime suspect of who did it.
Yeah.
If you hear about somebody getting cracked on a love sack,
it may not be Chrissy D who did it, but you're definitely a prime suspect.
Yeah, I'm definitely getting called in for questioning.
You're definitely getting profiled.
You're definitely getting stopped in the street saying, hey, how you doing?
What are you doing in this neighborhood?
Let me tell you, any time a crime, any time the police are investigating something to
do with a love sack, I will be called into the lineup.
You will be called into the lineup.
It's just what it is.
Just like when somebody gets knocked out on the street
for no reason,
they're not going to go over to York Prep and say,
where were these students during this time?
Yeah, it's just what it is.
It's just what it is.
You're not going to the private schools.
You're going to more public schools.
Am I tightrope walking?
Am I Philippe Petit right now walking on a line?
I love how Benatia is walking down
wearing a Carhartt hat.
I mean, that hat and that company was designed for blue-collar working class men.
And now it's just been ruined by millennial cucks.
I mean, it's just...
That don't even know what shawarma is.
And they don't know what a fucking day's work looks like.
I agree with that.
But make no mistake, Venetia is very close to being my wife.
So you can't talk to her that way anymore.
No, she's not.
She's not into white guys.
Oh, yeah.
I forgot.
Chris, no.
Oh, my God.
I'd love to... I agree with that.
I'd love to just smoke a cigar with your father for 10 minutes and just let him get some things off his chest.
But guess what, guys?
I just ordered a Love Sack shrink kit, and we're going to shrink the Love Sack this weekend.
You got to shrink it.
Why are we saying Love Sacks?
Yeah, I know.
I'm just saying.
We're talking about the beanie bag.
Oh, yeah.
The bean bag.
The bean bag? Yeah. I'm going to. We're talking about the beanie bag. Oh, yeah. The bean bag.
I'm going to shrink down my bean bag and my ball bag.
Let's just call it what it is.
Chris's fuck ball.
Chris's fuck ball.
It's been washed, and it's going to Yanni's new place.
Yeah, it's coming to my place.
And my wife, she's not 100% on board, but I've told her that Chris has watched it.
No, she said she wanted it in the house.
She did, but she said, I don't know.
She listens to it. No, it said she wanted it in the house. She did, but she said, I don't know. She listens to it.
No, it's washed.
You know, a lot of podcasts, when you used to be the old era podcast, had the FCC to worry about what they were saying.
We got Mrs. Pappas.
Yeah, Mrs. Pappas is the FCC.
She's tuning in, letting us know what we can and can't say.
And she's heard all about the freaking beanbag or the fuckball.
Can we just call it the Chrissy fuckball?
The Chrissy fuckball.
Yeah, Chrissy fuckball is going to be in my fucking basement.
We're going to shrink it. We're going to get it in a car, and we're taking it the Chrissy fuckball? The Chrissy fuckball. Yeah. Chrissy fuckball is going to be in my fucking basement. We're going to shrink it.
We're going to get it in a car, and we're taking it upstate.
We're taking it upstate.
To some generic place where I live.
Yeah.
You know what?
Yeah.
And if not, then you know how people would try to test Niagara Falls waters?
They would jump in a barrel and jump off.
That's what I'm going to do with the fuckball.
I'm going to jump in the fuckball and jump off Niagara Falls in it, and we'll see how
good it is.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Well, you know, she might have forgotten that you used to actually climb into the fuckball.
Yeah, I used to climb into it.
So, yeah, you can't really escape it.
Have you ever fucked anyone inside it?
No.
Only on.
I'm a celibate kid.
You're a disturbed kid.
I'm a seven-week celibate kid besides a blowy in Denver.
I'm a seven-week celibate kid besides a blow-in in Denver.
Yeah, we said it on KFC radio that you did Ancestry.com,
and it did come back over 40% German.
You're mostly German, but there was a little,
there was an addendum and a little asterisk on it that said 100% disturbed.
That said disturbed.
Yeah, it said disturbed, and that's from the southern part of Germany,
mainly Bavaria, where the disturbed Germans are from now listen Yanni
the thing is with you
is you've got
jacked arms
but if you've noticed last podcast
or I haven't been looking you in the eyes
much because it was hard for me
to look up but now I can look you square in the eyes because your beard
is growing back when you have a
fully shaved beard and not a haircut it's tough for me to look up but now i can look you square in the eyes because your beard is growing back yeah when you have a fully shaved beard haircut it's tough for me to look at you because i just i just
don't want to yeah it's tough but i look like i yeah now you're just back to being a handsome
schmancy kid yeah if i don't have any facial i do kind of look like i'm transitioning and just
learning how to get confidence in my new sex yes Yes, in your new sex. Because I always have a little bit of a double chin
that you can see that comes out when I...
But you don't today.
You don't have a double chin today.
I'm telling you, I'm a mixed bag.
You're a mixed bag.
It depends on the day.
I'm handsome some days.
Even when you watch the video clips
that we put up on Instagram,
which you guys are doing a great job of, by the way.
Thank you, by the way.
But we're going to need you to pick up the pace.
Yeah.
It's just one...
You can tell every video.
Sometimes I see myself and i'm going who's
that kid and then in other words i'm going jesus who's that kid yeah yeah because i'm just two
different kids i'm good looking and i'm not at the same damn time at the same damn time and you're
straight and gay at the same time um yeah so it's just it's just been a beautiful thing um but yeah
i think um i think that it's going to be cute today to talk about Iran because, Bubba, make no mistake, when we're sitting down watching TV in our homes, we could be attacked by Iran at any moment.
I mean, right now, it's public enemy number one right now.
And I'll tell you right now, if you have an Iranian cafe, business is going to go a little cold right now.
The problem with Iranians
Is the women
Is that they're hot
And then most of them
Don't have fumes
So it's hard for me to have
Because I only
For me like
You know girls are everything
So it's like
The Iranian women
Are just gorgeous fucking women
So it's
Because they kind of look
Puerto Ricans
But without the problems
So I
I just am like
You know
It's hard for me to want
To go to war
With a country full of pieces.
Yeah, that's the most important thing in what you like in a woman is if they could, there's a possibility, even if it's small, that they could be Puerto Rican and cause you problems.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You're a kid who you want there to be a chance that your laptop could go out the window.
Yeah.
You want a chance of it.
I want a chance of it. I want a chance of it. Yeah, I just want to know that if we're in a relationship together,
I could be signing up to taking care of someone else's kid
and paying you thousands of dollars a month child support.
I just want to know that there's a possibility of me doing that
and me having to officiate one of your relatives' weddings in the living room.
I just want to know.
I just want to make sure that if I start to date you,
that we're going to have a joint bank account at Banco Popular. Yeah. I just want to know that you just want to make sure that if I start to date you, that we're going to have a joint bank account at Banco Popular.
I just want to know that you've been at Sunset Park.
You just want to know that there may be a moment in your future
where at one time or another you're saying,
put down the knife or hand me the baby.
Yeah, I just want to know.
I just want to know that when we get married at City Hall
and have the reception at Red Lobster that we're driving away in a Honda Civic with Modelo cans tied to the back.
Yeah.
Deadass.
You just want to know.
Mike is shaking his head no.
When Mike's not laughing, he's shaking his head.
He's got his head down.
You know it's probably we're going too far.
You guys, that's inappropriate.
That was so real.
Too real?
So it's borderline racism.
Yeah.
No, it's just borderline.
I've seen that.
So you're just like, oh, man, is he talking about my life?
You just want to know that at Christmas time, when you have a stocking up for her and she opens it up and it's a gift card to Starbucks, a gift card to Target, you just want her to be a little disappointed that there's no coconut cookies in there.
Yeah, it's just what it is. It's just cookies in there. Yeah, it's just what it is.
It's just what it is.
It's just what it is.
I just want to be with a woman that
when I take her to Pret-a-Manger, she thinks we're in Paris.
I agree with that.
You just want to
make sure that she's somebody
that if you're talking to a girl in some place, she goes,
who the fuck is that?
You just want to hit that once
in your life. Yeah, I just want to date a girl who
cries when she finds out Maurice is a guy.
But then gets really happy when she finds out
that you know him. Yeah, that I know him.
And says, can you please get me an autograph
and put it on my ashtray.
On my ashtray, yeah. Yeah. It's what it is.
It's what it is.
That was like an
another thing coming kind of thing.
We just made it up.
I just want a girl who.
That's what that segment's called.
I just want a girl who.
That was really funny.
We should love it.
We have to stop to do the history.
All the things that we do, there's a couple lines in there that I'm not sure if we can release.
Yeah.
It's just what it is.
It's like from now on, unfortunately, anytime we mention a family member who's a cap judge in my family, we just have to edit the name out.
There's times I have to talk into about using real names.
So, you know, and somebody made a T-shirt with his name on it.
And I'm just going to have to ask you to cease and desist.
It's not bad, but it's just like, you know, did you get to use the guy's real name?
We can say cat judge though, right?
We can say cat judge.
We can say cat judge.
That's even more fun.
Was it Uncle Cat Judge?
Was it Uncle Cat Judge who got upset or it was somebody who related to him?
It was somebody related to Uncle Cat Judge who gave birth to me.
Plain and simple.
Did you get walked up to neutrals to have the talking to, or did it happen via phone?
No, it happened via phone call.
Yeah, it happened via phone call.
It happened via phone call because we solved one problem.
And another one pops up.
And we weren't legally allowed to talk about it.
And then the other one popped up.
So that one is solved.
I'm actually back in with them.
Everything is all good.
But now the new thing.
Yeah.
Because what's happened is because of the success of this podcast because of you guys, the fans, now my family listens to it.
Yeah.
And they're listening and they started at episode one.
Oh, no.
Jesus Christ.
It went all the way back.
Oh, my God.
So they're catching up and mom was like, yeah, I've been catching up.
And it's so funny.
But I have a couple of things I'd like to talk to you about yeah uh now here's the problem with you is you have like
three or four families that are connected to you yeah so we got one side of the family listen if
we got another one we're definitely going to court yeah no the good thing about this and then there's
another one that another one that's tangentially attached you got four i got four of them but
luckily for us is the side of the family
that would cause
the most problems.
You know, not my side,
the side that I have a child with.
They have no kids,
so they can't listen
to the podcast on their phone.
They're still playing Snake.
It's character piece.
It's character piece.
I think we should have
10 staff meetings
before every episode
because we're having
a lot of fun.
We're having a lot of fun.
And it was funny.
Zach and Mike,
try to fight each other quick.
Did you hear?
Did you hear?
We had a great talk with our manager on the Truffle Pig yesterday,
Giannis and I, and, you know,
we were talking about moving the podcast forward and what we could do like bigger businesses and all that.
And he goes, and, you know, he goes, I'm thinking about, you know,
he's like, I want to hire this guy.
He's all encompassing.
He can do this.
He can do that.
He said his main thing, though, what he can do is crisis management.
He said because inevitably you may just say something
that we have to just get out of.
He said, I'm not saying you will.
He said, but it's just nice to have a guy who's got some crisis management experience
just on deck.
I was like, yeah.
If this podcast was a person, that person would be Charlie Sheen.
It would be Charlie Sheen on the roof of a skyscraper. Yeah, that's what it would be Charlie Sheen It would be Charlie Sheen Yeah On the roof of a skyscraper
Yeah, that's what it would be
And it's Charlie Sheen
Likes to walk forward
And he likes to look down
Yeah
That's our podcast
That's our podcast
We're a guy on a skyscraper
Looking down
That's what it is
From the roof
And that's where we exist
You never know
When there's gonna be
A gust of wind
And Charlie Sheen
Is gonna turn into a bird
Turn into a bird
Yeah, you just don't know.
Yeah.
We're a podcast and now has AIDS.
So it's just that's what we're trying to say.
I mean, we're pretty close to Charlie Sheen.
There's a lot of toots.
There was a venereal disease.
What can you do?
What can you do?
And we are in the entertainment business.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
We're on the entertainment business.
Can you believe that Charlie Sheen's still alive?
Yeah.
It's wild. I mean, it's the same thing. I don't think he's ever going to get actual AIDS. He, we're on the entertainment business. Can you believe that Charlie Sheen's still alive? Yeah, it's wild.
Well, I mean, it's the same thing.
I don't think he's ever going to get actual AIDS.
He just is going to have HIV forever.
Let me just take a moment.
I just want to, like, just say rest in peace to Angelo Lozada.
Yes.
There's a lot of people who've been following me and him for years,
going to our shows, who listen to our podcast, and friends of his,
Sonia in particular.
What an amazing Absolute amazing celebration
And memorial of his life
At Gotham Comedy Club
But what made me think about it
You know he's a dear friend of mine
That passed away
Angelo Lozada
Like absolute comedy legend
From the Bronx
But what made me think about it
Is it was
There was really funny jokes
That happened during the memorial
And one of them which
One of them was
I can't remember who it was
Who said it
But it was during like
A really emotional moment But then someone said Because Angel but it was during like a really emotional moment.
But then someone said, because Angel Salazar was there.
Oh, yeah.
Now, if you don't know who Angel Salazar is, he was Chi-Chi from Scarface.
Yep.
Check it out.
Check it out.
He's a comedian, and he talks like this.
And he does this whole thing where he gets into, he does Bruce Springsteen music, and he has a bikini American flag that he dances around in.
If you want to just know, you can watch the documentary The Comedian with Jerry Seinfeld from years ago.
There's a clip of Angel Salazar doing the bit that Giannis described.
Yeah, everyone knows Angel, and everyone knows Angel.
Let's just say it.
I mean, he likes to dabble in a little blow.
He likes a lot of blow.
He likes blow.
I did a gig with Angel Salazar, and I was almost killed, truthfully.
What happened?
A guy held a knife to my throat after the gig.
Have we told that story on here?
We have not, but we can.
Yeah, tell that story right after.
Finish about Angel Elizondo.
Yeah, right in the middle of the emotional statement,
Angel Salazar was in the back and whoever was on stage,
it might have been Mark Vieira, goes like,
he goes, how the, and he goes, you know, Los Angeles,
and he goes, and fucking, how the fuck is Angel Salazar still alive?
And it just cracked the whole room up.
Even Angel Salazar was dying.
He climbed on a chair.
He's about five foot two.
So he was screaming like in Spanglish because he can't even really speak full English.
Yeah, yeah.
He's a squeak.
Yeah, and he's a squeak.
But it was just a funny moment.
Like the whole crowd was cracking up because everyone knew they're going like, you know,
people are dying.
But somehow Angel Salazar is still standing.
I mean, that's a kid that should have went.
I mean, I think when you're a squeak, you have a little bit of an advantage.
Yeah.
You have less heart to go wrong or something.
Truly.
Yeah.
No.
And you're just lower to the ground.
There's something about being a squeak where you stay alive longer. Because squeaks always live a little longer.
They do live a little longer.
Tall guys.
Tall kids.
You don't see tall old men. You see squeak old men. No. Yeah. Venetia's going to live a long time. She's a little longer. They do live a little longer. Tall guy. Tall kid. You don't see tall old men.
You see squeak old men.
No.
Yeah.
Venetia's going to live a long time.
She's a squeak.
No, Venetia.
She's about five foot high for a woman.
Three, four?
I'm five five.
Five five.
That's normal height for a woman.
Yeah.
She's on the squeak side.
I'm a little short.
Yeah.
It's like borderline petite.
I'm like a tall, tall woman though.
I want my woman to be a squeak.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah. My wife's a squeak. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, my wife's a squeak.
Yeah, tall's like
a little weird
when you crank the leg back.
That's the weird part.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, it just looks like
you're helping a guy,
you know,
get a rub down
on a hernia or something.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's a doctor.
You feel like a doctor
when you crank that male leg back.
It's just a big, tall leg
looks like a guy.
Yeah, it's big.
You don't want a big foot
like that in your face.
You don't want a big foot
just dangling next to your head like that.
If I look next to my head and I saw your foot, yeah, my heart, I may develop an arrhythmia.
Yeah, if I was a woman and I had the feet I have, it'd be a big problem.
It would be like, poor baby.
This poor girl's feet.
What happened to your Angel Salazar gig?
I was opening up for Angel Salazar once.
This was eight, nine years ago.
And we were doing this gig like deep, deep, deep in Queens, like real mafia place.
And, you know, all the mobsters go and watch Angel, guys like that, Salazar, because he was in Scarface.
So he has got like that fan base.
So I was doing comedy, I don't know, maybe a year.
And, you know, I had a couple of jokes.
You know, none of them really that great.
All lewd and dirty and corny and all that shit.
And anyway, I did a joke and it bombed.
And the guy's wife got offended.
And the guy was a tough guy.
He was like, why don't you apologize to my wife from the stage?
And I was like, no, I'm not going to.
Wow.
Yeah, like that.
I respect your comedic integrity.
Yeah, I was like, they're fucking jokes.
Like that.
Wow.
Yeah, so then it got bad.
So then the restaurant stopped.
Everybody's like looking at me, right?
Even Angel is like back, like, holy shit.
So Angel yells from the back.
He goes, oh, get off, get off.
It's time.
Get off, get off.
Thank you, thank you.
Give it up for Arceus.
Give it up for Arceus.
Get him off.
Get him off.
Like that. Check it out. So then. Get off. Thank you. Thank you. Give it up for Arceus. Give it up for Arceus. Get him off. Get him off. Like that.
Check it out.
So then he plays music to like bring himself up.
He like introduced himself.
And so I'm walking.
I like know it's tense.
And I walk out.
And then a guy grabbed.
The guy grabs me and one of his other buddies.
And they turn me around and put me up against the wall in the back of the restaurant.
And the guy put a knife right up my throat.
Wow.
Like a true knife.
Like right at your throat.
At my fucking Adam's apple.
And he was like,
I'll cut your Adam's apple out right now.
So you can't talk ever again.
No.
Well, he said,
I'll cut your Adam's apple out
and I'll feed it to your mother.
That's what he said to me.
So I was like,
oh no.
Sounds like a guy
who is nice.
Yeah.
And then the guy,
the owner broke it all up
and got me out,
gave me way more money in cash.
That's funny that you got more money.
Yeah, because he was like, kid, don't fucking tell anybody.
That's what he said.
He said, don't tell anybody.
And what he told me, he was like, all those guys out there are wannabes.
He was like, those guys, they'll fucking kill you because they want to be this, but they're not this.
He was like, you know what I'm talking about?
And I was like, yes.
And then he was like, take this.
Don't ever mention anything happened here today.
And now I'm mentioning it. Do said what was the joke that offended her he's doing crowd work he's speaking to them yeah they got offended there I uh and it was yeah the guy
never he gave me like 500 bucks in cash I was supposed to get like 20 bucks from an angel gave
me 500 in cash and he gave me a like foil to-go of Tortellini Alfredo.
Yeah.
If I was a young comic and that happened,
because you're so green
you don't know how it goes, I may do my next show
and just start calling everybody a cunt and see what happens.
Maybe I'll get paid more.
And then just about a month later, and these are the only
two times this happened in my career, but they happened back
to about a month. About a month later, I was
doing an outdoor birthday party show, also deep in Queens,
but this time it was for all Latinos.
It was with Pudge Fernandez.
You remember Pudge Fernandez, great comedian, and took me under his wing, especially in
the beginning.
And we do this outdoor birthday show.
There's a guy with tattoos on his face, which I don't know, just got out of prison.
I have no idea.
It's just a guy in the middle of the crowd. this it was a children's birthday party they want to stand up
at the gigs you do in the beginning are so fucking brutal but you have to do it so i do it i'm bombing
because there's three-year-old kids in the front row like popping balloons and crying and but you're
just trying to get through it 10 more minutes to go whatever and i make fun of start making fun of
the guy with the tattoos on his face yeah which is a big problem yeah so so i make fun of the guy and again same thing it's like tense i'm like holy shit i can't
get out of the birthday party without walking past them his friends are like calming him down
they're like rubbing his back like they're trying to calm this guy down because he's like he's like
visibly mad so they're trying to calm him down
and i kind of like just run out on the side of the on the side of the gig i run out and i like
am literally running down northern boulevard in queens i get away from it and then like three
hours later i get a call from the nypd they're like hey were you just at this birthday party
blah blah you were one of the comedians. Your name was listed here from the owner.
And I said, yeah.
And they said, well, there was a murder outside of the birthday party
a couple of hours after you left, so we want you to come back.
We just want you to answer some questions if you know anything or whatever.
So I had to go back to the precinct and answer questions,
and then you found out the guy who had just gone out of jail,
like a week before that
shows up at this show
and then wants to
it's having a really tough time
adjusting to not being in prison
so wants to commit a crime to go back
I pissed him off with a joke
and then he murdered someone
in a fight outside of a bar
two hours later and knifed them to death
and the NYPD just wanted to talk to me
to know what I said or if there was anything
that I could be of assistance with.
And I was like, I didn't record my set or anything.
I was doing bullshit jokes.
Yeah, but it killed.
Yeah, but it killed.
Yeah.
And he killed somebody just to go back to jail.
Wow.
Yeah, he killed like a-
You started in some classy rooms.
Yeah. Yeah. I mean, that's Wow. Yeah. He killed like a- You started in some classy rooms. In some-
Yeah.
Yeah.
I mean, that's-
It's crazy.
It's crazy.
Es lo que es.
Now we've been all the way to the Kennedy Center.
Yeah.
Now you go to the Kennedy Center.
It's a little bit different.
You may not get allowed in the Kennedy Center.
I was there last year.
It's a very classy place.
You may show up and they may be like,
is there a broken air vent somewhere?
Well, my mother wants to come.
She goes, I heard you're doing the Kennedy Center.
Take your mom there.
She was like, isn't that where, like, don't they give all those awards there?
I was like, yeah, I'm doing the small room.
Take her up there.
I'm going to take her with me.
Are you doing with Reese Waters or no?
It's just you.
No, it's just me.
It's just me.
Call Reese.
Say hello to Reese.
Reese is a great guy.
Shout out Reese Waters.
Great guy.
Reese Waters.
He's on TV out there in D.C.
Well, speaking of D.C.,
they fucked up the Iran hostage
crisis in 1979. Jimmy Carter.
Jimmy Carter basically,
you know, he's done
so much good
since he's been president. First of all, the guy
is still alive. I mean, he's like 95,
96. Yeah. Kid's walking around.
Hannibal Buress has a great bit about him
taking a plane ride with Jimmy Carter and him shaking everybody's hand.
And he's like, why are you delaying the flight?
You're Jimmy Carter.
Jimmy Carter is 95 years old.
He's still alive.
He's done so much good, so much charity, so much humanitarian work after he's been president.
He was a one-term president, and his presidency was usurped completely by the—
The original Donald Trump, Ronald Reagan.
No.
The first Hollywood guy to get in office was Ronnie Reagan.
By the Iran hostage situation.
Which was November 4, 1979 to January 20, 1981.
Yeah.
And it happened in Tehran, the capital of Iran, which is still the capital of Iran right
now, but it could get blown off the map any minute.
Yeah.
I mean, you never know what's going to happen right now when Chris, he's got the microwave
door open.
Yeah.
Something's going in there.
A lot of 14.
Yeah.
Well, you don't know if it's going to be stofers, if it's going to be leftovers or popcorn.
If you're Trump, open the microwave door.
Yeah.
I was trying to set you up for you to say, or Japanese people.
Oh, yeah.
But cackle it
We're back
Yeah my diarrhea
My residual
Diarrhea
From the antibiotics
Has gone away
So I may eat sush
You made some sush today
I made some sush
Well no actually
Today I'm going to
Dinner with Chaz Pimentary
Yeah
Are you coming
I don't think so
Okay
Yeah I don't think so
I got too much
I gotta do a set
And then Shout out Chaz Pimentary From Bronxdale He wants to also Come on the podcast I don't think so. Okay. Yeah, I don't think so. I got too much. Yeah, I got to do a set and then, yeah.
Shout out Chaz Palminteri from Bronxdale.
He wants to also come on the podcast, but we got to work around his nap time.
Yeah, I mean, he's getting up there.
Are you going to his restaurant?
Yeah.
Which is called Chaz Palminteri.
Now Chaz Palminteri is Chaz Palminteri.
And where is it?
In the city?
It's in the city.
It's in the city over there.
Yeah.
He's a good guy, though.
He's a great guy.
He's a great guy.
He's a great guy. He's a great guy.
Yeah, he said, I like my restaurant where it is because, you know, the Broadway people
like to eat.
He's an outer borough kid.
He's an outer borough kid from the Bronx.
It's just what it's going to be.
Yeah, it's going to be.
You know, it's, you know, Bronx Tales based on his life.
Yeah, which is one.
Did he fall in love with a black girl?
I think that that's true,
but yeah,
there was liberties taken,
but his...
I mean, in my opinion,
that's one of the best movies
of all time,
top five in my world.
Now, if we were to put things
on a percentage scale,
what do you think
the chances are
that Vanity and Mary
is a Greek guy?
Is it 5% or 7%?
I would say it's 5%.
Yeah, Greek guy's got
no chance with her.
They don't.
I agree with that.
She's like you.
She's just developed a taste for people from the islands in the Caribbean.
It's just what it is.
Es lo que es.
She wants a Caribbean kid, a Caribbean cutie.
And much like your family, her brothers are listening.
Yeah, it's just what it is.
What's up, guys?
What's up, fellas?
The guy is picky.
So the reason why the Iran hostage crisis happened is because pretty much, I mean, it was like anything else.
It was all these movements happened from young, woke and dope kids.
So the Iranian college kids were young, woke and dope.
And they didn't like that the president, he was the Shah.
What was his fucking name?
The original monarch?
I mean, Muhammad. Yeah, whatever
his name was.
Was it really?
That was a guess. Yeah, but they called him the Shah.
They called this kid the Shah.
So the Shah of Iran, his name was Muhammad
Reza Pavlaver.
Yeah, you should go to
his website, livefromthesandbox.com.
So anyway, that kid was, they called him the Shah, but he was like, nobody liked him, that
kid, because he was just, you know.
Well, he was an American puppet.
He was an American puppet.
Yeah, we were trying to get him in there.
We wanted, you know, we're doing a lot of business.
There is oil business over there.
But more importantly, I think, than the oil, which gets downplayed a lot, is like, look,
we're trying to keep, Iran was very secular at this time.
Right.
I mean, you look at old pictures of Iran, there's like women walking around in mini
skirts and like.
Hell yeah.
Living well.
And so there was, there's always this sort of extreme Islamic faction.
Right.
That is always bubbling in these countries.
And America was trying to, you know, keep that down and keep the secular vibe going.
And yeah, the Shah, the Shah, like Saddam Hussein,
like a lot of these guys were American puppets.
Well, he was an American.
Well, here's the thing.
He was an American puppet because the United States
had allied with him for the oil stuff at that time,
at least a lot more of the oil was coming from Iran
than it is now.
But he was that authoritarian rule, right?
He was just a fucking kid that just was like,
listen, I'm the man.
Like, Iranian, you know, that's a culture out there.
They're like, the man, we do everything.
Women, shut up.
This is what it is.
So he flees to Egypt in 1979
because shit's starting to get wild over there.
The people are starting to revolt.
So he flees to Egypt, but then to go on vacation.
But really, he's going to get,
he wants to go to America
because the kid's dying of cancer.
So America lets him in.
And that allows the next guy to take over, who is the reason why that's a predominantly
Muslim population in Iran today, is because of the Atola kid that comes next.
And I don't know his name at all.
Muhammad.
I know it's the Atola Muhammad.
That's, I think, also his name is the Atola Muhammad.
The Ayatollah.
The Ayatollah Khomeini.
Khomeini.
And he's an Iranian revolutionary and a politician.
And he's the Iranian.
So he's the one that really sparks this revolution.
But unfortunately.
Well, he didn't spark it, but he took advantage and closed it.
It was really the college kids that sparked it.
They were rebelling.
And these were secular kids.
They were college kids.
It was a secular time in Iran.
You could go back.
There's even like a really interesting video.
Let's Google it and get it up of it's wild and creepy uh about like uh one of the it could have
been um the shah or someone previous joking about how iran will never be wearing burqas or something
like that it's wild let's just let's try to find that when the ayatollah came in so not so right
so he took advantage because everyone was against the Shah.
The kids, you know, the kids fucking came and charged the embassy.
And then Khomeini used this as an opportunity to align with them.
And so they kind of supported him.
But then he just fucking came in, strong-armed it, and made everything religious.
Muzzed out.
It became predominantly muzzed out.
Yeah, he made it muzzed out.
That's how Iran got muzzed out again.
No, he muzzed out the country.
It's what it is.
Yeah.
Is this the video?
If you do like Iran footage from the 50s or something like that, it may come up.
So he muzzes out the country.
And then what happens is it starts out with they got, I believe, 63 hostages, right?
66 hostages.
But then they let a few, they letrican-american women go right first because
they're like you know they're probably more muslim it's because it's more muslim they're
like we got to get these kids out because they're a little bit muzzed out and i don't understand
that no it's true they go to the embassy so they're like revolting there's a demonstration
because they're very upset about that the shah isn't in uh that the shah's in america and they're
like right bring him back why Why is he in America?
He should be here, like, dealing with these problems.
And then they go revolt at the American embassy.
They're like, Jimmy Carter, why are you, like, keeping him in America?
Because he's in New York getting medical treatment.
Yeah.
It was wild.
And so they go and they grab 66 people and then, yeah.
Yeah, but then hostages, but then it winds up with 52 American hostages for those 444 days.
Because I think the reason was why he gave African-American women up is because he thought he was like that.
They basically like, you know, like we consider them Muslim.
I think it was like an oppression thing.
Like those people have been oppressed by America.
So they're not going to take that.
Yeah.
Okay.
So what are you going to do? You know okay, so what are you going to do?
I think they did that as maybe a tactic to sow some discord in the United States.
People going like, yeah, we side with them, not you, because yeah, you were oppressed.
It was a good PR move. Well, the way that this was handled quickly, the way that this was handled was Brutes Magoots.
At one point, and we'll explain it too too. But at one point they do this.
Jimmy Carter decides because the president, you know, he wasn't well liked at the time and he was just known for being like soft, weak pussy.
But he does this. He tells the public we're going to do the Rose Garden strategy,
which says that he him and his team are not going to leave the White House.
They're not going to leave the White House until this thing is,
until this Iranian hostage crisis is resolved,
and we're not going to try to, we're not going to do,
we're not going to try to cause, we're not going to do an evacuation attempt
because we don't want to kill or hurt anybody.
So he basically, like an idiot, just tells the Iranian people,
the hostage, the people who are holding them hostage, like,
yeah, now we're giving you all the attention because now it's like a fucking hunger strike you're not going to leave
the White House so we're making the President of the United States not move one two we're saying
we're not the Iranian people now like okay we don't have to worry he's not going to send troops
in here so now they start to put the they put all the hostages in all these different places
because they're like they're not going to rescue them anyway and even if they did they're gonna it can't be just one single rescue attempt so it made it
gave the iranian hostage people so much power it gave the iranian protesters so much power
yeah and the rose garden strategy is like one of those things that when you do the research it's
like that's really what like reagan was kept saying like that that's all he had to say reagan
won the when reagan won the presidency against Jimmy Carter.
It was the biggest landslide still to date in history.
It was because of the because of this.
He just kept saying, look at what he did with Iran.
And then the people like, yeah, you really fucked that up.
Yeah, I ran.
Didn't have to be 444 days.
They were Reagan was like, I could have done this in a week.
Right.
As the as the as the drag queen say, I ran drag Jimmy Carter.
Yeah.
Right.
He got dragged. He got dragged. But he got ran drag Jimmy Carter. Yeah. Right? He got dragged.
He got dragged, bitch.
You got dragged, bitch.
Yes.
So, yeah, and the 52 hostages it ended up being.
They got fucked up a little bit.
Was just made famous again by Donald Trump saying he's going to target 52 cultural sites in exchange for the 52 hostages.
Because our president is a little off the rails.
He's a little wild, and he listens to the podcast so yeah i mean that kid is to say he's loose-lipped is
and careless is an understanding but still but but not only iranian and u.s diplomacy wasn't good
then and it obviously got really bad after this but the reason part of the reason why we
still are at war with iran or going to go to war iran today has to do with this this hostage crisis
really fucking ruined the relations again yeah the middle east is a wild wild place yeah and when
the when the what is it the arab spring or the arab summer what was it called where they all
the arab spring when the protests are with the Gaddafi.
No, when Islam, like the Islam
Revolution, what was it called? The Arab Spring?
I think it's called the Arab Spring.
Since then, it's been like
it's been a wild place
where there's been a lot of infighting
and it's been
a constant sort of
fight between
secular forces and like extremely religious forces.
And then within that religious force, you know, there's fighting between Sunni and Shia.
So they're killing each other.
Iran and Iraq, two countries where everyone's Muslims.
They killed each other for eight, nine years or whatever.
We sided with Iraq during that.
Saddam Hussein was our guy because the thing – the reason why a guy like Saddam Hussein, the reason why – and this is not politically correct to say, but it's true.
Just say it.
There's nothing you can do about it.
In some of these countries, a strong leader – and I don't mean strong in a good way.
So I don't want that to come out wrong, but I'm not a politician.
It doesn't matter.
You mean strong –
Like a brutal guy. Like a brutal guy, yeah. Like a dictator. Not strong like a woman because. So I don't want that to come out wrong, but I'm not a politician. It doesn't matter. You mean strong? Like a brutal guy. Like a dictator. Not strong like a woman
because the women are strong. Strong bad. Being a strong woman
is positive. Positive! You mean like a brutal
guy. Men are brutal. Women are strong. Yes!
That's exactly what I mean. I meant strong bad, but it's
in some ways it's practical and effective
because there's so much discord within those countries.
So what happened after Saddam Hussein was removed
was fucking everyone started fighting.
And I know this because my roommate in college
was a journalist who was there during the Iraqi war
and he wrote about it.
And then he had a little fall from grace.
The little thing happened.
But what are you going to do?
What are you going to do?
But, you know, he was he was one of the, you know, world renowned.
He's considered one of the experts here.
He testified in front of Congress on the Iraqi war.
And it's just like it's not it's not as simple as you think.
Right.
Go to Iraq and everyone's just the same.
And they support each other and they love each other and they're all against America.
They hate each other.
They kill each other.
Shias and Sunnis.
You know, there's Kurds.
There's different ethnic groups there.
Yeah.
And they're all trying to kill each other.
Right.
The thing that Saddam Hussein did was stopped all that by being brutal to everybody.
So it's like a lot of times these strong-armed dicks like him work in these places because they keep that order and keep everyone right instead of killing
each other he kills everyone right so it's like it's an uncomfortable truth it's it's a really
divided place and it's not just divided where everyone hates america or hates everyone hates
israel which is commonly like the way it's it by sort of, you know, these types.
Yeah.
It's like there's a lot of hate within those countries with people who have very similar DNA.
And that's the same story the world over.
You go to Serbs, Croats, Montenegrins. These guys all fight and hate each other.
Their DNA is exactly the same.
Albanians, they're Muslim, but their DNA with the Slavs, it's all pretty similar.
Cretans and mainlanders, we hate each other.
Yeah.
Not to that degree.
But it's like, it's not as simple as going, we're there for the oil.
They hate us.
They're good.
Right.
We're bad.
Because make no mistake, the truth is, nowadays, we only use like 10% of their fucking oil.
And it comes from Saudi Arabia, where, yeah, we let them slide on a lot of shit in exchange for that oil.
Because that is a fucking evil kingdom.
I don't even need any oil.
I got a fucking Tesla I plug in my car like an iPhone.
Yeah, it's a little weird when you look the other way, when all the hijackers who committed 9-11 were from Saudi Arabia.
You're not allowed to have a camera in Saudi Arabia. They still have public squares in Saudi Arabia where they execute people, where they have drains on the ground where they just like use a hose and push the blood in.
They have public execution that still happen there.
Women can't drive and shit like that.
And then you see our presidents just going in there like kissing the fucking hands of whatever royal family member because, yeah, we're getting a little bit of that oil.
But guess what, children?
You like your air conditioning?
Because, yeah, we're getting a little bit of that oil.
But guess what, children?
You like your air conditioning?
You like your new Saab that your dad got you for your 16th birthday because you live out on the island and you need a car?
Yeah.
Well, that car comes at a cost.
And that cost is oil.
Your fucking tires are made out of rubber?
Where do you think rubber comes from?
All your toys, plastic?
What do you think it is?
Oil?
It's dinosaur juice and it's what we need. So stop being a cuck, USA! USA!
Fuck Iraq! Fuck Iraq!
Yeah, and then moments later, Yannis
blew his head off. Yeah.
No, you know, I'm just saying
things are complicated. Yeah. No, because
the thing, what I like, what I like about
you. Did you just get puing because I was saying smart
stuff? You were saying smart stuff? Now you're gonna go
text a toot and try to bang out a girl to try to convince yourself
you're straight.
Yeah, that's what it is.
Veneti, I got X to see if you want to hang out.
Yeah, because what's great about you is you're able at, you are so seamlessly able to just
kind of go between being a cuck and then being a non-cuck.
I mean, you got-
And also sane and insane.
I told you, I go in and out.
I'm male, female.
You're Yanni in and out.
You're Yanni in and out, Berger.
I'm Yanni in and out, Berger.
Yeah, it's what it is.
Yeah.
And you're Chrissy Chaos.
Yeah, so basically, in a nutshell, what happened is these fucking muzzies didn't win again.
And then we won the Iran hostage crisis.
We just took everybody and wasted their fucking time.
And they were holding our people over elevator shafts And torched them a little bit
But then at the end of the day
Guess what?
All the American kids came back
And fucking just sat in their homes
In Levittown, Long Island
And all these other peopons
Just live in fucking Iran now
Where if you fucking
If you're a woman
And you show more than your eyeball
You get your head chopped off
So it's what it is
Yeah
I knew it was coming
Yeah
I knew we were going to get
Chrissy's cliff notes on the situation
Yeah so that's just a nutshell
Let's read out the Patreon
Oh wait my fact
There's more to talk about
There's more to talk about but we also just
Developed a new segment called Chrissy's Cliff Notes
Chrissy's Cliff Notes
Can we just make a note of that
There will be a section where Chrissy gives us his version of what happened
Chrissy's Cliff Notes will be at the end of every episode.
Yeah, and it just goes, the Muzzies lost again.
All right, now we're going to do Mike.
Wait, is Venetia, is there something that you think that we missed,
a big point that we missed?
We're still going.
Venetia's got a car her head out on.
She's ready to go.
Yeah.
No, I wanted, I mean, this is wild about that this happened for almost,
like, over a year and how they were treated.
I mean, at first they were.
444 days.
Is that why Jay-Z named his album 444?
It's possible.
That's actually a good point.
Is it 444 or 441?
4441.
And what, Schultz named his album 441?
Yeah.
What, and it wasn't again?
I don't fucking know.
And your ex-wife is 420.
It's not a coincidence.
Yeah, we can't match her.
I said 420. Oh, yeah, that's right.
420 minus 420 equals zero.
Date to Paul Verzi's Christmas party.
So the hostages
were first, they stayed at the
embassy for a few months and they were
kind of treated okay, but then things got a little
bit rough and they were, as you
said before, they were spread apart and they were
actually put into some prisons and they were horribly treated and they were as you said before they were spread apart and they were actually put into some prisons and it was they were horribly treated and um they would be blindfolded and um you know
chains one and they just basically mind fuck them day and night like sometimes one time they like
blindfolded someone uh two people and they brought them out into a chanting crowd so
they probably thought that they were going to be executed.
Another time, they actually played Russian roulette with the victims.
And they tried to revolt.
You know, the hostages didn't just stay there.
They had hunger strikes.
They actually tried to kill themselves because it was so brutal what was going on.
But at this time, there's also, this is a wild part of all of this going on.
Of course, like the Iranians are like, we're treating them well.
Don't worry.
They're OK.
Like they have food over.
They have food and the roof over their head.
But the foreign diplomats that were there were visiting them.
Yeah.
Which is wild.
Yeah.
There's there's probably even more. They let them in because they
didn't have a problem with the other countries.
So they were letting them in.
We're treating them well. Look.
And they were doing it like they...
Iran, you got to give them credit.
They conducted smart
international
public relations. They did it.
It was very smart. They let the
African-Americans go. Like I said,
that was probably to sow some discord
by saying, look how benign we are and benevolent.
This isn't about us being bad.
We're the oppressed, just like blacks are the oppressed,
and we're letting them go because America's evil.
So very smart.
Very smart the way they did it.
Even smart the way they waited until, like we said,
Reagan was elected to finalize the
deal and all that.
Right.
It was, you know, they kind of controlled the narrative.
Right.
They controlled the narrative probably to a lot of the rest of the world.
So, you know.
But they're smart kids.
I mean, they know what to do.
I mean, they're smart kids.
And, you know, Jimmy Carter, you got to there's i don't think there's any way to
interpret other than that he handled it wrong yeah he was a little too soft yeah i mean but
the positive is no hostages died that's great but uh there was a rescue attempt where eight
servicemen died they say i love when they say people always forget that the army is it servicemen
or service people well that it, it's service people.
It was called Operation Blue Light, and it was a disaster.
It was a disaster.
It was a sandstorm, and I'm not being racial.
I'm just saying it was an actual storm of sand.
You're just saying pun intended.
Yeah, no, no.
It was a storm of sand.
I'm not saying it's the supermarket I go to.
I'm saying it's a sandstorm.
I'm saying an actual sandstorm, and then two planes, helicopters, I'm saying it's a sandstorm. I'm saying an actual sandstorm and then two planes, helicopters, I'm sorry,
crashed into each other and then killed eight service men.
But there are people, but in this case they do identify as men.
But here's the thing.
Here's the thing.
I don't try to get too crazy with the conspiracies, but what I do know
and a lot of people don't know is that the Army and the Armed Forces
filters every bit of information that comes out through a public relations arm.
Sure.
So a lot of times when you hear crash, you ever notice that?
That always happens.
Like, oh, there was a helicopter crash.
And it's always like four dead.
The cop to crash.
Like, did it crash?
Or was it shot?
Or was it shot down?
And you just want to keep morale up.
Yeah.
You know, it's like.
Well, that's why, like in Iran now, like some shit like that, you that you're not even talking about.
We're not people don't even talk about that plane that crashed.
Well, exactly.
Ukrainian airline.
It's like that just randomly happened.
So that's why I brought it up, because that's also suspect to me.
It's like that's kind of coincidental.
Yeah.
You know, I mean, it was a strike.
There was an earthquake.
There was a all in six hours.
There was an earthquake, U.S. military strike, and then a passenger plane going from Tehran to the Ukraine crashed.
Yeah, I'm not saying the earthquake is fishy, but I'm saying that the plane crash and leaving out of Tehran, going to the Ukraine.
But why is that nobody's talking?
Why is nobody talking about that?
Because everyone's just got their signs up going, we're not going to go to war for oil.
going to go to war for oil.
Everyone just thinks this is about oil, and they don't even go and check the simple fact that a Google search will tell you that we get a vast minority of our oil from the Middle
East, and we get it from Saudi Arabia, and it's only like 10%.
We get most of our oil from, believe it or not, from Justin Trudeau.
Wow.
Yeah.
Canada.
From Canada.
We get most of our oil from Canada.
And now, because we've discovered some more reserves, we get most of our oil from us, right, Zach?
From the USA.
I don't think we're using it. I think we just have it there just in case, like, someone...
Just in case Venezuela tries to get stupid again.
Yeah, or like...
We stockpile our oil and just use the rest of the world.
Yeah, exactly.
Norway deals a lot of oil to the rest of the world,
but Norway's smart.
That's why nobody talks about Norway.
One of the richest countries in the world,
Norway has one of the biggest outsourcing of oil.
I'm a dumb kid.
Export the oil.
Export of oil.
Yeah.
One of the biggest in the world.
They don't spend any.
They keep all their money
They put it in a fund
The government has a fund
They save it
Like you're saying
And they keep it quiet
They never talk about their oil
I used to go there a lot
And do comedy
And you gotta give them credit
Cause they know that
We're out there
Yeah
They know that we're washing
Yeah
Cause as soon as Norway fucks up
And starts buying a little bling
Like a lot of these
Middle Eastern countries do
Yeah
You know
Buys a little Mercedes, gets a little watch.
Yeah.
We're showing up like, yo, Norway, we heard you motherfuckers need some freedom.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You always do that joke, and it's just too smart that nobody gets it.
You remember it?
I remember it.
You've done it five years ago, and I'm like, you know, I know what he's saying,
but it's like, you're just too smart sometimes.
But it's a good joke.
It's a good joke.
You didn't even let me finish it. I was going to say, we're Omar from The Wire. We rob drug dealers. Yeah, but even that part, it's like you're just too smart sometimes. But it's a good joke. It's a good joke. You didn't even let me finish it.
I was going to say we're Omar from The Wire.
We rob drug dealers.
Yeah, but even that part, it's like now you're getting more specific.
What are you doing?
It's like you got to just, you know.
I'm even worse than Colin Quinn.
Nobody's ever going to know me.
Yeah, Colin Quinn said you crushed at Angelo's wake, by the way,
which was a nice text.
Again, I forgot to.
I didn't crush.
I cried the whole time.
Oh, well, maybe he was joking. Do you you know, it was a nice text. Again, I forgot to, I didn't crush. I cried the whole time. Oh,
well,
maybe he was joking.
Do you guys know Omar from the wire?
Yeah.
Well,
the joke is,
he goes,
just saw oils,
the drug,
and we robbed the drug dealer.
Cause we're Omar from the wire.
Yeah.
It's a good joke.
It's a good joke.
It's a good joke.
It's a good joke.
It's a good joke.
It's a good joke.
It's a good joke.
It's a good joke.
It's a good joke.
It's a good joke.
People said,
Jan is killed at the wake.
Oh,
he wasn't there.
From CQ.
No,
I'm kidding.
But,
but no,
I understand what you mean.
And it's great.
And it's,
yeah.
It's funny that comedians just,
they, they put everything in whether he killed or bombed.
Yeah.
It's like, it was a fucking memorial.
Yeah.
I went up there crying.
I couldn't get through it.
Did you kill?
My jokes hit because my voice was trembling so much, it said, it sounds like I'm going through puberty.
That hit.
And then I had a couple jokes about Angelo throughout, but I was crying the whole way
through.
Yeah.
And then it was like, I was reading off my phone because i wrote something because i knew if i tried to talk from
i wouldn't be able to so i was just trying to read right to get through it right you know no no no
i'm just reading the text but yo puerto ricas they come out they come out for for a party they come
up for a show and they come up for a fucking funeral you know because your family puerto rican
yes that shit they had they had a poet there They had comedians
They had lengua
I mean that shit is a party no matter what
And yo when a Puerto Rican
Puerto Ricans are so festive
And so fun and so awesome
And so emotional
And Greeks are very emotional too
So it's very similar like I've always said
We have a word opa
There's no definition for opa.
Opa just means like I feel so great I want to take a plate and throw it at your face.
Like it's just like, it's just an emotional thing.
And then Puerto Ricans have wepa.
It's the same thing.
They're tantamount.
Opa and wepa.
Yeah.
But when his mom started wailing, that's the tough part.
Yeah.
When she was like, my hijo.
You know, she speaks, you know, she's fluent in English with no accent.
But, you know, she's Puerto Rican.
So at one point during the show, she started just wailing like, you know, my hijo. You know, she speaks, you know, she's fluent in English with no accent, but, you know, she's Puerto Rican. So at one point during the show, she started just wailing like, you know, my hijo.
Yeah, sure.
He never gave me no problems.
And you could just feel everyone.
It was like a gut-wrenching thing.
But then Mark Vieira, credit to him, goes like, well, he gave us a lot of problems.
And the place just cracked up.
It was a perfect night and a perfect mixture of, like, sadness and celebration.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Beautiful.
Rest in peace, Angelo Lozada.
Rest in peace, Angelo Lozada.
Lozada.
Lozada.
Lozada, sorry.
He's been dealing with that his whole life, though.
People be like, Lozada, Lozada.
Well, because he's such a good kid, I just want to make him Italian.
You wanted to make him Italian. That's what I'm saying, Lozada.
It's like, you know, we've been dealing with when you do black shows.
It's like, your name is just whatever they say.
Whatever you say.
Yeah, come into the stage, give it up for Khaki.
And that's you, Chris.
I've been called Yan. I've been called
Y. Give it up for Y.
They can't say your name. This guy, I got brought
up with this guy. Yeah.
Give it up for my man, and then they just were
silent. Yeah. Went like that, and then come out
because they just can never remember a white guy's name.
It's just what it is. If your name's more complicated than
Mike or Steve, it's just... Yeah, your
name better be DeBrickshaw, or they don't know who you are.
What do we got, babes?
Yeah.
I don't know.
Do you want to sum up?
So how did they get out?
Well, we did Chris's Cliff Notes already.
Oh, yes, we did.
So this was a 444-day...
4-4-4.
4-4-4.
You got to understand, it was on the news.
I was like three years old
I was like
Not even a baby
But like
The
The
The
Repercussions of this
Like the vibrations
Of this event
Lasted all the way
Through Reagan's
Presidency
Sure
For like ten years
This was a time
Before the internet
So it was like
This story
Like if you wanted
To rob a bank
Or kill like a whole
Village
This was the time
To do it Because you would have not been reported on.
Yeah.
Iran, the Iran hostage situation was the it was just news every day, every newspaper all the time.
It's what it was.
Are we going to war with Iran?
What's going on?
Can we get these hostages out?
Yeah.
What can we do?
And it was it was his whole presidency.
And so finally, they're negotiating, negotiating.
Finally, on January 20th, 1981,
the remaining 52
U.S. hostages were released.
And they were released. It was, they
did not, the Iranian people
did not release the hostages. They
released them about five minutes
after Ronald
Reagan was officially sworn in as president.
So they would not, they could have released,
the deal was signed two days before that, on January 19th.
They could have released him right away,
but because Jimmy Carter was still president,
they were like, nope.
And then just as one more fuck you to Jimmy Carter,
that's what they did.
So Jimmy Carter could never say,
and they were not released under Jimmy Carter's presidency.
They were released under Ronald Reagan's presidency.
Yeah.
And it was kind of wild.
That's the ultimate fuck boy move.
It is.
I mean,
yeah.
I mean,
Jimmy,
Jimmy Carter got dragged.
Yeah.
He got dragged.
He got dragged.
Yeah.
I ran the,
yo,
on today,
you know,
so people would say,
yo,
Iran,
you salty.
Yeah.
That's what they would say.
Yo,
you act as salty.
You act as real salty.
Yeah.
You act as real salty.
You want to release them five minutes after Jimmy Carter is not president. You act as salty. You act as real salty. You act as real salty. You want to release them five minutes
after Jimmy Carter is now president.
You act as salty. Oh my god,
Jimmy Carter got dragged. Yeah, he's salty.
Yeah.
They petty. Iran petty.
Yo, y'all petty. That's what they would say.
Yo, y'all petty, Iran. Yo, petty.
Come on. Definitely fuck boy status.
Come on. And by the way, they,
I mean people of today.
I'm not just,
I'm not,
I'm not distinguishing
a color,
race,
creed,
religion.
I'm just saying people
of today would just say
y'all petty.
I would tweet out a meme
I ran with the clap hands,
y'all petty.
Absolutely.
I would say that too.
Shout out Lizzo.
And then the movie,
the movie that Ben Affleck,
Argo.
Argo,
which is,
if you want something
to jerk off to,
watch that one.
Or Ben Affleck in the town.
I'm fucking pewing when I see Ben affleck in the town i'm fucking
peeing when i see ben affleck in the town yeah he's doing those pull-ups yeah i want to yeah i
want to fucking pepperidge farm cookies on my ass you know what it is because you do have a little
bit of a female brain yeah you do because that's that's something only females say what do you
mean they say i like him from this movie yeah You ever notice when you ask a girl, you always go like, do you think Leonardo DiCaprio's hot?
And they always go, in The Departed, yeah, that Leo.
And you're like, it's the same Leo.
And they're going, no.
Revenant Leo's not as hot.
Huh?
Revenant Leo's not as hot.
Yeah, Revenant Leo.
I like Revenant Leo.
I like a guy who's a little banged up.
I like a survivor.
Yeah, no, for me, the top three guys I'd suck off are Ben Affleck in the town.
Yeah.
Ben Affleck in the town.
Tom Hardy as Bane because I like a little Donald Duck.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And then Pee Wee Herman.
That's a weird left turn you took.
Pee You!
Yeah!
Okay.
Yeah, now we got to read out our sponsors.
Did we get it all? We got it all, baby. We got it all. Okay, so now thank you to read out our sponsors. Did we get it all?
We got it all, babe.
We got it all.
Okay, so now thank you guys so much for listening.
And we pray for peace.
Pray for peace.
Pray for peace.
It's not worth it.
No war for oil.
Pray for peace.
And Mikey, what's your fact of the day?
Quick.
Oh.
Are we going to do this first?
Oh, yeah.
Let's do this first.
He's anxious.
He's had that phone in his hand for like 20 minutes.
Okay, go.
Chrissy? Oh. Oh, you want me to do the for like 20 minutes. Okay, go. Chrissy?
Oh, you want me to do the pay?
I thought Mike was doing it.
Sorry.
I'm sorry about that.
So the $500 are true sponsors, the $500 tier peeps.
It's just what it is.
Let me just say this.
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I'm friendly with the new.
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I don't fucking know.
Pray for peace.
Pray for peace.
Now, should we read the newest members of the matriarchy?
Yeah.
I emailed them to you,
or you can read them off of here.
Okay, no.
Yeah, I'm actually curious.
I want to know your fact of the day.
Don't let Yanni see them.
Don't let Yanni see them.
Okay, yeah, take them off and just email them to me.
Yeah, they're in your email.
So while you're pulling that up.
These fucking Wayfair tables.
Yeah, these tables.
I mean, Andrew Schultz, who weighs 13 pounds, fucking snapped the back off one of them.
So my fact of the day was, you know how Al-Qaeda is our enemy right now?
Yeah.
So in Rambo 3, like you mentioned, we were fighting with Iraq back then.
And actually, thanks to brave soldiers of Al-QQaeda because during that time, they were still fighting the same people we were fighting.
Right.
There's literally a thank you message to them at the end.
Wow.
That's a good fact.
I'm giving that a big rating.
If we could ever get those fucking sticks out of your ass in here, because I know you're keeping them home to dance around with them in your ass.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
What was the fact again?
That was a good fact.
What did you think?
Because, yeah, I mean, Osama bin Laden and al-Qaeda was CIA funded for a while to fight the Russians.
Yes.
So he's saying at the end of the movie, we thank the al-Qaeda fighters in Rambo.
It's hilarious.
It's funny how they changed it for now.
Now it says it's dedicated to the gallant people of Afghanistan.
Before it said to the brave mutujahideen fighters of Afghanistan.
Actually, it's a little different one.
The original one actually just says Taliban and Al-Qaeda.
It does?
Yeah.
Yeah, because those guys originally were fighting Russia.
The original Rambo.
Rambo 3.
Because we funded the Mujahideen to fight the Russians when they were...
At that time, the U.S. had no problem with Al-Qaeda fun.
Well, you know, war makes strange bedfellows.
So it's like, that's the thing about the Middle East.
There's like, you know, your allies, your enemies.
That's why people who are mad about the general being killed are like,
well, no, he was fighting.
No, he still hated Israel and us.
Yeah.
He just hated them too.
And I think a lot of that may be PR too
about how much he's being
memorialized.
Yeah.
He was their best.
It's nobody's pure over
and it's a real
divided place
and religion I think
complicates things.
Oil complicates things but not as much as people think
because like we said,
we don't even get most of our oil from there.
We just don't.
We get it from Canada and Venezuela.
I'm just saying it's not any different
than during the Obama administration
when Joe strikes for blowing up civilians.
It's not...
We're not going to war.
It's within the thing. It's just part of war. It's what happens when you have two militaries fighting. It's not, it's not, we're not going to war. It's within the thing.
It's just part of war.
It's what happens
when you have two militaries fighting.
It's unfortunate.
Obama leveled the Middle East.
Yeah.
But nobody ever talks about it
because the kid,
let's just be honest,
the kid was smooth as peanut butter.
Yeah, smooth kid.
He'd go up there and be like,
what's up, baby?
Which was invented by a black guy.
Yeah.
Peanut butter.
Was it?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Oh, wow.
So, you know.
Washington Carver.
Oh, wow. Yeah. The difference is that he wasn't yelling about it.
Trump is like, I'll kill those motherfuckers.
Obama wasn't proud of it.
Obama just did it and said nothing.
Obama was just slowly going gray.
Obama would just do it and then go on
in between two ferns.
He wasn't happy about it.
He would bomb the shit out of it and then he would go dance on Ellen.
Yes, just what it is.
That's the way he rocks. Let's do it. He would bomb the shit out of it, and then he would go dance on Ellen. Yeah, that's what it is. Yeah, that's the way he rocks.
Let's do it.
The newest members of our Patreon, there's quite a few today.
Thank you guys so much for going to patreon.com slash Bay Ridge Boys and joining the matriarchy.
As always, we encourage you guys to make a funny name, and then we will pick the PPW,
the pseudo-penis of the week, at the very end for who we think the best name is.
First off...
All right, let's hear these Patreon names, Chrissy.
All right, I'm just finishing my cheeses.
Yeah, we just got some snacks.
Venetia went and got some quick snaps.
We took a pause in the episode
because we were looking for a video that we cannot find.
It was a video just showing how secular Iran was
before the revolution, and it was wild.
They were all in miniskirts,
and they were walking around the 60s being real groovy.
We're going to find the video,
so instead we're just going to put up an ISIS beheading video.
That's what we're going to do.
And you know, if you talk to a lot of people,
if anyone ever tells you,
here's another interesting fact,
if anyone ever tells you they're Persian,
what they mean is they're Iranian,
because a lot of Iranians like to describe themselves as Persian
because they want to distance themselves from the stigma of Iran.
And Persian girls are pieces.
And guys.
And guys.
And they probably have fumes, but I don't care.
It's what it is.
Okay.
So should we start from the beginning or just start from where we left off?
Beginning.
Okay.
Mike, big piece mush.
Nikki, non-toots, but will let Chrissy crack open my poop shoot and play my skin float.
Yeah.
Andrew Murray, straight to the back.
Jay, Chrissy sit on my tiny Irish piece McCarthy.
Yeah.
Cuzzy Wuzzy trying to nuzzy Chrissy's drippy pewing.
Nice one.
A goodie.
Paxton Smith.
Know what I mean?
Straight to the back.
Joe Sue.
One name.
Wow.
Eastern Hemi.
Taylor Daniels.
It spells Taylor, L-O-U-R.
Hey, girl.
S-T-T for life.
Sean T.
How you doing, Sean T?
Yeah.
Sean Terry.
Peaced Out Kid from Michigan.
Hi.
It's a goodie.
Lane Bell.
Straight to the back.
Father Bill Nye the Uvula Guy.
I think that's probably going to be the winner.
Father Bill Nye the Uvula Guy is great.
Someone make a note.
We have a hundred of them.
Bruce.
What's up, Bruce?
BS.
Yeah. Sonia Gonzalez Martinez. Que pasa, mi gente?. Bruce. What's up, Bruce? B.S. Yeah.
Sonia Gonzalez Martinez.
Que pasa mi gente?
That's Sonia.
Shout out, Sonia.
I love you.
Andrew.
I caught a yeast infection
from a priest erection.
Dukich.
Another goodie.
Another greatie.
Okay.
Clappity, clap, clap.
Chrissy, drippity, drip, drip.
The Stefano.
Goodie.
Goodie.
Clyde Drexler.
Yeah, he was a victim of
the guy right before him uh trey fuck the content trump 2020 terp there we go nate hawk we just have
a few right wing kids that's what it is nate hawk how you doing got bue moved to vegetables too many
times now i go to church mcdowell okay, good. He went for it. I like him.
I like you.
He was a fucking name.
Use a good name.
Mitch Bellis.
Straight to the content.
Teddy smoked weed once, and now I'm gay.
Yeah.
The originality.
He made me in the front.
Yeah.
Spewing glue like a mouth breathing Jew with fumes.
420.
Way.
Jesus Christ. Okay. Sorry. You know what? Weishang Jing. Jesus Christ.
Okay, sorry.
You know a name is good when you have to
Weishang Jing the name.
Yeah, okay.
Georgia,
little German girl
like Chrissy.
Good one.
Oh, guys,
too many good ones.
Then we got Dana
just here for the
docking tips.
Kowalski.
Another goodie.
Okay.
Sofian Bonanza.
Joe O.C. Hit for the content and maybe. Kowalski. Another goodie. Sophia M. Bonanza.
Joe O.C.
Hit for the content and maybe Chris's baby.
Yeah.
Matthew Garchick.
Sarah.
Jason Malkin.
How you doing, Jason?
Riley.
Chrissy is straight
until his dad dies.
Hardcore.
Straight.
Yeah.
He worked for it.
Got you.
Joey, the screwed in kid
broadcasting my piece
to the cloud.
It's what it is.
Yeah.
I mean, kids disturbed.
100% disturbed.
Chase, blue straight to the back.
But if I smell any more fumes.
Cut off.
Cut off.
Okay.
Joey, not an FF, but definitely enjoys a perfectly placed pinky during sex.
Okay.
It gets cut off.
You make them too long, guys.
They get cut off.
Yeah.
TMI.
Next one up. Potato monkey with a lunch, guys. They get cut off. Yeah, TMI. Next one up.
Potato monkey with a lunch lady ass.
That's a goodie.
Donovan, a lot of 14, not mean, but my glue gun don't work in a blue state.
I mean.
Great.
I think he's number one.
Creativity.
You got to give him creativity point.
Nathan Hillcoat.
Garci Fry.
MK, my mom says we're Italian, but I'm paler than the moon and my mid.
I don't know.
It got cut off.
Too complicated.
Phil C.
Sitting in the back eating Yaya's cookies.
Eslo KS.
Goody.
Goody.
Joseph Tully.
Chrissy, no condoms.
Goody.
Goody.
Colin Landers.
Shaving it back.
Nick.
Then this guy's name is Steak Sauce.
I like the simple, different ones.
Yeah.
Credit to Steak Sauce.
Kalem Donoghue.
Straight to the back.
Vegan Jules.
Straight to the back.
Frank Janishek.
Straight to the back.
Garrett Levitt.
Wow.
Kenneth Weaver.
It's a parade of straight to the back.
Adam, I'd let Chris crack me open, but I'm not gay.
Go Yankees.
Lampeter. Like him. Like him. Adam, I'd let Chris crack me open, but I'm not gay. Go Yankees, Lampeter.
Like him.
Like him.
Rob, super white, extremely lost, heavy breathing, FF Holmes.
He went for it.
Perry, small piece, big cuck with a little situation with the mother.
Those are two Clyde Drexlers in a row.
And one word, Vinny the Guinea.
Vinny the Guinea's a goody.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Benny Franks and Beans also most likely Nazi blood Ackerman. Another goodie. Yeah. Yeah. Benny Franks and Beans also. Benny Franks and Beans also most likely Nazi blood Ackerman.
Another goodie.
Broke Iowa kid with a problem with the sauce.
Okay.
Yeah.
Straight to the back.
William Andrews.
He didn't even do a real name.
I just put him straight to the back because he went for it.
He missed.
Yeah.
Chrissy, prepare the D because Katie Nolan follows me and you, but
mostly me. I don't know. Go
for it. Yeah. Adam, the non-tude
who secretly loves to drip from Chrissy's flute.
Another goodie.
Then we just have Chris, K-R-I-S.
Not me. Cody, the tucked
cuck Watkins.
Tucked cuck is nice. Simple and good.
Andy, keep my girls white and my votes
to the right Sims.
Way to show some shit. Andy, keep my girls white and my votes to the right Sims. Whoa.
What was your name?
Yeah, it's WayShomeshim.
Yeah, there you go.
Gerald.
Gerald, sorry.
Yeah.
Faye the Muzzy, now a Cousy Wuzzy.
Nice.
Good.
I like that one.
Yeah.
Casey the Potato Flingin' Sauce Sippin' Monkey Carano.
Yeah.
I mean, the Carano was the funniest part.
Italian names are just funny.
Michael Petroski.
How you doing, Polak?
JJ, unleash the priest, Jesus is peace, into my crease.
Malloy.
Somebody just take that horse is in the lead.
Yeah.
Katie Neal.
Straight to the back.
Patty the fatty, Berlin, not the wall, but for the wall.
Straight to the back to the right.
Paolo Solorio, Joshua Tanya, Chels Big Toot, Tit.
Big Toot, Tight Shoot.
Big Toot, Tight Shoot, Fumeless Bean, and Hugo Boss Jeans.
Oh, that's so fun.
Wow, that's a good one.
Nice one.
Yeah.
Mark Mannenheimer, Patrick Vogel, Jim Eckert.
Wow.
These are like, it's like a German section.
Yeah.
These are my people.
Carlos Lean Mean Fuller Saison Cream Santana.
Nice.
Then we got Tyler Shrimp Dick Beefcake with Record Glue Production.
Make a note.
He's my favorite.
Make a note.
He's my new favorite.
Tyler.
Okay.
Yeah.
He's my new favorite.
Then we got Philip Sampson.
Straight to the point. Then we got Go Sampson. Straight to the point.
Then we got go pewing and love you long time.
Wham, bam, thank you, Calpers gland.
Yeah, but Mikey's got a favorite.
It's a goodie.
Antonio Canales.
Daniel Calipi.
Cole CTE screwed me in McDowell.
Good one.
Kid's got a head injury.
Shawnee got tricked by a tranny, a.k.a. Chrissy.
Nice.
Chris Kovaleski.
Deb, I'll crack open your closet and clean it out, Russo.
Thank you.
Ben Wright.
Straight to the back.
Mike Chunky, Potato Monkey, Funky Fumes with the Jersey Hunky, McDonough.
I mean, I like it.
That was a roller coaster.
It was a ride he took us on.
Frank Martinez, Megan Pennington, Chuchum Luchum, Brian Golding.
It's just what it is, Sauce Money.
It's just what it is, Sauce Money, sniz.
Sean, good-sized glue gun, but I'm built like an Isosceles Triangle Davis.
Went for it.
Missed.
Julian Perez, Yanni Halias, Osvaldo Sadevera, Bobby Mashed Potato Face,
Matthew Brigante
Tyler I'm a Jew from LA
so I'm half gay by association
it's just what it is
Allen
Charlton Mays
Corey is no creep but make no mistake I'll sniff your feet
it's a Chrissy disciple
Todd Vesterzi
Gavin Parker
Mark Philly Sauce and Potato Monkey Comp, Tommy, Chrissy Crack My Corn, and I Don't Care
Because He Cleaned Me Out.
Oh, Chrissy Crack My Corn and I Don't Care Because He Cleaned Me Out.
Nice.
Good one.
Cassie McNeely, Austin Pumpin' My Little Stump for Trump 2020,
Rutherford.
Yeah, to the back and to the right.
Yeah.
Manny, Angry, White, Frenchie, Manny, Angry, White, Frenchie, A-sized cannoli-filling glue flute Richie.
Another goodie.
Yeah.
Evan Adrian, Esther McKay, Joel Glickman, Maddie, make no mistake, a muzzy, but I pay taxes and salute the flag.
God bless.
Like it.
I like it.
Zach, sauce monkey with a toot in the trunk, Pradle.
Toot in the trunk. Tonyadle. Toot in the trunk.
Tony Bologna.
I want to stick my stromboli in Chris's calzone.
Is that the leader now?
They're tough ones today.
Earlier one better than that.
Okay.
That one's good.
Rachel Downs.
Deidre.
And then last but not least, Adam Acuti with a tootie fruity loosey goosey booty.
That could be the winner.
I mean, what do we think? I just want to take a second to acknowledge
how lovely the diversity is of the names,
the people that are joining it up.
And it's a real nice microcosm
for what our fan base probably looks like.
It's just a beautiful thing.
I love that our fan base is diverse.
We're not going for it.
And I think that's a beautiful point
we've made in this era,
is that we go for funny and people are coming
because everyone knows we have no hate in our
heart and we're just here to make you laugh and I love
that we have Muzzy's, we got Eastern
Hemis, we got Yamis and we got
Jews. Yeah, thank you so much for the people
who went to patreon.com slash Bay Ridge Boys
follow us at History Ahinas on
Instagram, historyahinas.com for the website
it's new and improved. Who's the winner?
Well, you had Tyler Shrimp Dick Beefcake with Record Glue Gun Production Massey.
Gil Poing and Love You Long Time Wham Bam.
Thank you, Cowper's Gland.
Chels Big Toot Tight Shoot Fumeless Bean and Hugo Boss Beans.
And then towards the beginning, we had Father Bill Die that you feel like I.
Cuzzy Wuzzy Trino Nuzzy Chrissy's Drippy Pyeong.
You know what?
Since there were so many, let's make them all the winner.
That list you just read?
One.
Everybody won.
Thank you, guys.
Keep doing it.
Thank you, guys, so much.
Love you.
Bye.
Bye.
Yeah! Hey, yo!.